Kids say the darndest things

loooool

K asked me this morning: "Daddy, can we fall in love?"

Awww!

It wasn't a total shock as she repeatedly asks me to reenact Sleeping Beauty with her. "Ow! I pricked my finger on a spindle!"

I usually do a schticky variation on the story, where the kiss is proceeded by me trying other methods of waking her up, such as tickling and doing a song-and-dance routine.

Henry, who knows and can write the alphabet but still has a little trouble attributing a first letter to a word or name, had this convo with me the other day (while he was pooping, no less)

Hank: 'What do you start with?'
Me: 'I start with a 'K' because my name is Kate.
Me: 'What do you start with?'
Hank:(incredulous)'You KNOW what I start with! I start with an 'H'. Remember H-E-N-R-Y!!'
Me: 'Oh, yeah. I remember now. How did you get that name?'
Hank: 'Oh, Mama. You know!'
Me: 'Remind me again?'
Hank: 'Well they told you when I was a baby. When you adopted me'
Me: 'I adopted you?'
Hank: *SIGH* 'Yes, from the doctor. Remember?'
Me: 'Oh so the Doctor named you Henry?'
Hank: 'No!'
Me: 'Then how did you get that name?'
Hank: 'The doctor told you when you adopted me'
Me: ' So your name was already Henry before the doctor had you?'
Hank: *SIGH* 'Yes!'
Me: 'So did someone else give you that name or were you born with it?'
Hank: 'Look, Mama. The doctor got all the baby Henrys in the whole world and then he adopted them to Mommies and Daddies'
Me: 'He had ALL the baby Henrys in the whole wide world???? How did we pick you out of all those Henrys?'
Hank: *SIGH* 'The doctor decided. OKAY?'
Me: 'Ooookay'

Solid origin story, Henry.

AT 5 years old, I'm certainly not planning to get all factual on this particular subject.

Which is strictly for my benefit if I didnt make that clear

*SIGH*
lol, i know that tone -- sylvie basically addresses me like i am a simpleton

I love how exasperated kids get that you don't know stuff you told them.

i love Henry so much

On being asked to explain the state of a room in which she had been playing by herself for a short while.

"I don't understand WHAT happened. Everything just went MAD!"

A pretty good excuse for a 2.5yo, tbh

Also:

Ella: "Nonna and granddad are my grandparents."
Me: "Yes. And they're my parents."
Ella: "Well, that's disappointing."

two and a half!!!!

She's very verbal. VERY verbal. And requires us to be too--almost every second thing she says is "Make it talk!", holding out a toy/bit of food/piece of furniture/small animal/rock/remote control/etcetc

that's so great

DOCTOR: Can you write your name, Henry?
HENRY: All Day Long.

My boy is becoming Roy D. Mercer.

that is awesome

i love henry

Those are awesome!

Saw Matilda last night with the boys, and at one point Owen leaned over me and asked "Is it good being a grownup?"

I said yeah.

While playing campout.

HL: Are you afraid of the dark?
A: No. I HUNT night reindeer in the dark.
HL: Oh yeah? How do you hunt night reindeer? With a gun or a bow-and-arrow?
A: With a bone arrow. You take em back to the camp, throw em on the fire, mush em up into a blanklet, then you chop the head off so you don't have a head on your blanklet.

― how's life, Saturday, December 13, 2014 5:08 PM (7 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

A (holding up a plastic Halloween Grim Reaper scythe): I'm going to go deer hunting.
HL: Uh, I've heard of people going deer hunting with shotguns, or rifles, or bows and arrows, but with a scythe? What are you going to do - chop their heads off?
A: I'm going to chop a big hole in their backs and that's how you go deer hunting with a scythe.

A: I make some of the bodies into mats and some of them into blanklets and I put the deer's heads ON THE WALL.

In your face Robert De Niro. Call yourself a deer hunter pshaw

"Adults have hair in their noses, and little people have boogers."

Ella: "Nonna and granddad are my grandparents."
Me: "Yes. And they're my parents."
Ella: "Well, that's disappointing."

― as verbose and purple as a Peter Ustinov made of plums (James Morrison), Wednesday, July 29, 2015 4:10 AM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

!!!!!!!!!!

^^^ How is this kid 2.5??? Amazing.

Me, dropping something: Son of a bitch.
Ivy: Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!
Me: o_O

lol

Glad she learned it from you first.

did you know there's a comic strip here about a toddler called Ivy the Terrible?

I did not! Is it any good?

Can't say it was my favourite tbh...

While taking a walk around the neighborhood and learning the different brands of cars:

"Goodbye Honda! I love you more than my wolf-husband!"

irl LOL

The background being that her latest imagination game to play has been "wolves". You know, there's a pack, she has to learn to hunt, there are alphas and omegas (she likes omegas better because it sounds better), there's a lot of howling and running. But I didn't realize she was still in wolf mode at the time and I certainly didn't know she had gotten married.

so there is this brand of soda here

http://57.img.v4.skyrock.net/3479/1883479/pics/31609515.jpg

and my kids reallllllly like asking if we can some of it, for some reason...

nice!

and then dinner was a litany of "I'm full of pschitt" etc

I make that same joke all the time.

never gets old

Somehow ella replaced our answering machine message with a fragment of alan bennett reading winnie the pooh and talking about "cunning plans"

lol

BEEPS: I was climbing off the bunk bed and slipped off the ladder. It hurt!

ME: Oh no! Let me look at you. What did you hit when you fell?

BEEPS: ... The floor?

Duh.

out of nowhere right now, "have I ever drunk George Washington's sweat?"

loool

now I'm wondering.

we all have, it's part of being 'merican

I think she's remembering the bit in Paulos' Innumeracy when he says the probability of having just inhaled a molecule that Caesar exhaled in his dying breath, is over 99%, which we talked about some months ago, and kicking it up a notch. but it really came out of nowhere today...