Facebook neighborhood groups are the worst thing ever

I live at the end of Warwick near Euclid and there's an apartment building across from me that's on the corner. The balconies face our building.
About once every week there's a woman who throws parties and is extremely loud. She's sits on her balcony, drinks and smokes cigarettes to all hours.
Not sure if she knows how loud she is but it echoes.
Anyone else hear her? And if you know her please quiet her down or find her a boyfriend.

I think I mentioned this elsewhere, but I'm actually now a member of a *secret* facebook group whose purpose has become in large part to make fun of the main neighborhood groups.

Classic. I need to start one of those for my burg.

Ohhhhhhhhh they are sooooo terrible.

Recently:

Long clusterfuck thread about nanny-shaming
Long clusterfuck thread that started as a parody of the nanny-shaming thread and somehow turned into someone insinuating that it's Jewish people's fault that the neighborhood Barnes & Noble is closing because they let their kids destroy the books and toys

nextdoor, Jesus Christ I wish I didn't know how many monsters lived near me

It's amazing how many innocuous topics are a bat signal for xenophobes.

Here's Nextdoor in a nutshell:

'did anybody hear that noise'
'somebody was casing my house'
'kids are selling newspaper subscriptions'
'I was burgled yesterday when I left all my ground floor windows open'
'_____ new restaurant is great'
'you're an agent of gentrification'
'you're the real racist'
'I've lived here for ____ years and ACTUALLY you're the racist'
'all of you are racist'
'free chunks of concrete in my driveway, you haul'

Nextdoor ultimately booted me for not giving my real name, which turned out to make my life much more peaceful.

today it was

"two suspicious men were walking by my house. i asked them what they were doing, they said they were going for a walk. i stared at them as they walked away. they stared back! i felt very uncomfortable..."
"they might be ILLEGAL ALIENS, there are so many MURDERERS being allowed into this country. here's an article from the WSJ with statistics."
"my friend was MURDERED by someone she wanted to help, don't let your guard down. RIP to my friend i miss her every day."

Just checked it out for laffs, and it has the strangest way of assigning neighborhoods. I'm not even in the same zip code as the one they assigned me.

the West Oakland nextdoor is apparently highly "entertaining" and trollable, but my neighborhood is burglaries, nanny shares, and lost chihuahuas

I'm NO Golden Gate, and as I've said it's been quite some time since I looked at it.

Conversely my hippie neighbor who's lived here for just over a year organized a block party last saturday afternoon that turned into a pretty nice way to acquaint myself with some of my neighbors. He did make everybody stand in a circle to bond, but otherwise it was quite enjoyable.

'you're an agent of gentrification'
'you're the real racist'
'I've lived here for ____ years and ACTUALLY you're the racist'
'all of you are racist'

West Oakland is apparently a lot of that too.

just got a nextdoor post emailed to me, filed under "crime and safety" (the only post emails i receive from them.) subject: LEMON THEFT

I'm a member of our local "Remember Our Neighborhood?" group where people post photos of the new highway back when it was still the old highway, etc.

There's a big thread about what was on the corner before Walgreens came along. Was it a Chinese restaurant? Was it a Sambo's? No, Sandra Beatty Walker, the Texaco station was up the hell a ways.

I found a picture of the Chinese restaurant and posted it, because, hey, welcome to my wheelhouse.

20 posts later, the thread's still going with "I'm pretty sure it was a McDonald's..."

the Nextdoor app has lot of lolz points for one crazy in our neighborhood who's always going on about bank tellers fucking with him, someone tore down his American flag, ect. Also, a LOT more racists surrounding us than I would have imagined. Many posts along the lines of "saw a black guy walking down the road. STAY ALERT PEOPLE."

There was one back for my dad's neighborhood where someone was popping off with "There were MEXICANS slowing down and LOOKING at our HOUSES."

Which was followed by someone saying, "We were HAVING a NEIGHBORHOOD YARD SALE, if you didn't HAPPEN to NOTICE."

My neighborhood has a really awful bougie/gentrification group that's basically white ppl getting incensed abt squatters and queers and POC but in of course really thinly-veiled ways

I started my own for the neighborhood a little over a year ago and it's almost 1000 deep and ppl ask advice abt where to do or find stuff, or they barter or sell things, we have fun food conversations, it's rly quite wonderful!

v proud bcz the South Philly-based group that it was spun off of is filled with weird creepy assholes who say awful shit all the time and my awesome posi West Philly group is p self-moderated

Large pheasant or exotic Chcken

View larger photo For last two days this bird has been at our feeder eating Sunflower seeds at various times... Has someone lost this bird? We are on Palm Ave

veganism is popular also at the extreme right of the bay area, in hitlertown which is named after an austrogerman vegetarian and pamphleteer of the early 20th century

a common joke in hitlertown seminaries in the 1950s was that they never had enough seed for birds because it all ended up being fed to the choirboys

that's amusing sarah but i deeply believe that sharing lost/found pet info is the one good thing i've seen in action on facebook

^One friend's lost dog search went nationally viral in the UK a couple of months ago because of FB and Twitter, and the dog finally turned up on its ninth day out. Granted, the friend in question is a fairly well-regarded journalist/presenter but she was bowled over by the kindness of strangers and the amount of reach they helped her to achieve.

My hometown group is generally pretty OK, probably because it has links to the local historical society. Lots of former C-average-and-below doofs posting about secret wilderness party locales of days gone by etc, surprisingly little racism (but what little there is comes from posters who are provably, quantifiably stupid for reasons like the one just noted). One notable thread did attempt to out the paedophilia of a recently dead local businessman who'd moved from the area 20 years previously, but it got taken down by a rather dim version of the group's Nice Police on the grounds that his kids might see it.

xp - this is nextdoor, and yes i agree -- today's top story, is someone who went on vacation for a couple weeks, and their neighbor stole their cat and won't give it back

exotic chicken lol

There was a Sambo's where Sherwin-Williams is now... Sambo's used to be there... Sambo's was farther up on the parking lot, more where the paint store is now... I know Sambos was where the paint store is now... I think Sambo's was actually about where Sherwin Williams is now... Sambo's where paint store is... Sambos was where the Sherwin Williams paint store is... Sambos was never on the corner. It was behind it on the hill. It was were Sherwin Williams Paint is now... Sambos was where the paint store is right behind... Sambo's is where the paint Store is now that's next door... There was a restaurant called Sambos... Above where Sherwin Williams is now was Sambo's... Sambo's Restaurant was on the hill behind Lindsey's Steak where Sherwin Paint is now... Sambos was up the hill where the Sherwin Williams store is now...

THESE ARE ALL FROM THE SAME GODDAMMED THREAD.

My neighborhood associate fb group is great, lots of wackos and unintentional comedy. Great post (and response) from a few weeks ago about a neighbor that takes offense to the city requiring him to shovel the sidewalks:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CXrlUuIUkAIZCkk.png

this sort of exact thing happens every day on my nextdoor site.

C---- M--------
I have a 2007 Toyota Sienna Limited minivan for sale. If you are interested or know someone that is looking for a dependable vehicle that is great for kids, please let me know. It has 99,000 miles and I am asking $10,500.

L---- C----
Hi I like to know if you're already sold the car if not what was your asking price.

Christ they're still talking about Sambos? Should rename to the Sambo's memories group. xxpost

People freaking out about the occasional raccoon in Queens was pretty entertaining -- 25 people screaming "IF YOU SEE THEM IN THE DAYTIME THEY ARE RABID!" "WHY WON'T THE POLICE CALL WHEN I COME!" vs two people saying "Yeah actually raccoons are nbd, and they come out in the daytime for all kidns of reasons."

haha, attn: sunny - http://www.nytimes.com/1983/03/20/us/dog-town-buries-nickname-but-feud-lives-on-the-talk-of-north-little-rock.html

Dog days have returned, indeed, to North Little Rock. The city's Civil Service Commission has suspended the Chief of Police, his deputy and the head of the Fraternal Order of Police, with full pay, while it investigates reports about them.

The commission began public hearings last week to explore charges of ''conduct unbecoming a police officer'' against Police Chief William Younts, whose nickname is ''Bubba.'' Chief Younts is a stocky man with a naturally red face that turns redder when he denies the charges.

He adamantly rejects accusations by a waitress, for example, that he was ''rowdy, obnoxious, very intoxicated,'' or, as a banker testified, ''having trouble maintaining vertical stability'' at a Sambo's restaurant on the morning of Dec. 12.

my mom used to work at a Sambo's in the late 70s when i was young ... but not in North Little Rock

I'm sure the chief of police in her town had no problem maintaining vertical stability.

I'm sure he did from time to time.

in a later incarnation of that Sambo's, the owner paid a hitman to kill her husband.

in a later incarnation of that Sambo's

Was it a paint store?

The name got changed to Sandy's? I think? It's near the trucker motel off Highway 101 near Pacheco Pass

haa

Unfortunately with maps and waze, people are being rerouted all over the place avoiding traffic; it has become a disaster with traffic. So the riffraff have learned about our convenient little bypass and speed through like maniacs. I can't tell you how many people don't even slow down at half the stop signs on the whole stretch of our street. It's definitely no longer just us. I am thinking about the neighborhood, the children, the dogs and trying to hold on to a tiny bit of whatever convenience is left for us, with the taxes we pay to live in the area.
The street really needs to stay closed.

I can't tell you how many people don't even slow down at half the stop signs on the whole stretch of our street. It's definitely no longer just us.

haa

http://i.imgur.com/aoOihqv.png

is that alt lit or is that actual fb posts

poetically incorrect

I sure hope William S. Burroughs is pleased with himself for this.

they should just figure it out once and for all and pin it to the top of the group.

exterminate all rational discourse

I forgot I had this one from a Google Group. (I pretty much join them all and then play the quiet game when a mod wants to know which house is mine.)

http://i.imgur.com/te6U61A.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/sE62Y3c.png

My wife, a public school teacher and current stay-home mom, posted an ad for her tutoring services. Among said offered services was tutoring for the city's gifted-and-talented test, which is given in Pre-K. Thread turned into a 100-post clusterfuck about (1) whether the test shoudl be given at all (2) whether tutoring is some kind of unfair advantage -- notably, most strenuously argued not by people who can't afford it, but by people whose kids "didn't prepare" and still got in, therefore they are special snowflakes, therefore anyone who prepares might just be "getting into a program they can't really handle" (3) whether all of this implied that the regular schools in our neighborhood aren't good enough (4) those damn yuppies coming to our neighborhood (which was always a middle to upper middle class neighborhood)

Honestly, I dont love the idea of a dog barking all day either but the way they instantly piled on the poor woman, I couldn't resist trolling.

xp I feel like were just going to get rid of coins at some point

I was just talking to a neighbor who also moved from the city, but before me, about how when your neighborhood is quiet, there's this natural human tendency to look for stuff to be interested in. So you start thinking extremely dumb shit like "huh, I've never seen that car parked in front of my neighbor's house before," or "I don't recognize that kid playing with Emily across the street." I feel like I have to actively guard against that kind of thinking to avoid becoming one of those people.

Oh yeah, that's a big part of it. Suburbia. Our nextdoor app is 90% "There's a man walking down our street I've never seen before" and the response is always 'Call the cops"

Oh and they have a little template to describe the person:

Height
Weight:
Clothing:
Physical appearance:

Just say black. Jesus.

Oh and you know it's not a white guy when they start with "There's a gentleman walking down my street..."

When did 'gentleman' become code for 'Im racist and scared'

gunshots and how violent our area is.

Haha, this like Chicago social media par for the course. Fireworks v. gunshots, why is there a helicopter, lost/loose dog, can anyone recommend a plumber.

WHO'S CAR IS PARKED IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE IT'S BEEN THERE FOR 3 DAYS I'M CALLING THE POLICE TO HAVE IT TOWED

I hate those parking apps too. Large portions of our town switched over to those, but they also didn't bother putting in paystations in many places. So if you are visiting and don't have the app, there are areas consisting of 4-5 square blocks where you are absolutely fucked because there isn't anywhere else to pay, unless you know where to walk to get to one of the few stations.

Also, when my parents were visiting from out of town, they drove us all to dinner at a restaurant, when they parked I had to add their license plate to the app to pay for their parking. I ended up having to completely delete the app and reinstall to get their car to quit popping up as the default for months afterwards.

xp - clearly Andy the Grasshopper lives in my neighborhood! lol

with rare exceptions, my neighborhood mailing list is so wholesome and positive it's kind of disgusting ... mostly people loaning each other tools, finding lost pets, and hosting chili cook-offs and pancake breakfasts

^^^ things that are boring but good, relatively speaking

Not gonna bring lols when I'm bored at work tbrr

I've been trolling mine hard today. People complaining about dogs barking in yards (as I said above) and one woman said they should be crated so I replied "OH YHOUD RATHER HAVE YOUR DOG LOCKED IN A TINY CAGE FOR HOURS THAN OUT IN THE FRESH AIR?????'

I've also implied that everyone who wants to call animal control is pro-dog murder.

hero!! also belated happy bday sunny

Aww i get mean when im bored.

Thank you for the birthday wishes, lovely <3