Kids say the darndest things

so there is this brand of soda here

http://57.img.v4.skyrock.net/3479/1883479/pics/31609515.jpg

and my kids reallllllly like asking if we can some of it, for some reason...

nice!

and then dinner was a litany of "I'm full of pschitt" etc

I make that same joke all the time.

never gets old

Somehow ella replaced our answering machine message with a fragment of alan bennett reading winnie the pooh and talking about "cunning plans"

lol

BEEPS: I was climbing off the bunk bed and slipped off the ladder. It hurt!

ME: Oh no! Let me look at you. What did you hit when you fell?

BEEPS: ... The floor?

Duh.

out of nowhere right now, "have I ever drunk George Washington's sweat?"

loool

now I'm wondering.

we all have, it's part of being 'merican

I think she's remembering the bit in Paulos' Innumeracy when he says the probability of having just inhaled a molecule that Caesar exhaled in his dying breath, is over 99%, which we talked about some months ago, and kicking it up a notch. but it really came out of nowhere today...

'My room, my rules!''my rules for me!' 'my phone, my rules!'

We seem to have hit another challenging authority stage. Girl's got a shock coming to her when she starts school a week on tuesday....

Haha she repeatedly said "my house, my rules" to me at the weekend; I was in no position to argue.

Whoa, Lulu has been doing this for a while. Usually wrt to laundry. "My pants, my rules". Just please put them in the basket or washing machine, not stuffed somewhere where I discover them a week later.

We're finally getting our decrepit and nonfunctioning bathroom repaired, but it is next to Ella's room and she has to sleep out in the lounge for a couple of weeks. She was disgusted to learn this.
"The builders CAN'T come and pull up the floor. If they do, I'll BASH them!"

And

"rRAAAAARRRRGH! RRRRRRAAAAARGH!"
"What are you doing?"
"I'm frightening the builders away."

loool

lol that genuinely sounds like our old downstairs neighbour (who was about 60 and had asked for the work to be done herself)

I told K that she had to follow my rule because "You are K and I'm the dad," and she said "No, YOU are K and I'M the dad"

AB! CD! ED! YEAH! YEAHYEAHYEAH!

Me, putting on a jumper only to discover it is covered in soup splatters:
"aw man, I cant wear this to work, its dirty! I look all grotty!"
7 y.o: "eh, you'll get used to it".

Xp

Sigh

http://youtu.be/lYIRO97dhII

yeah

Always love that clip.

More adventures in religious preschooling (K is now 3.5 so it's getting a little harder to navigate)

K: What are somethings that Hashem (God) gives to us?
Me: (trying to deflect) Well, there are many things to be THANKFUL for.
K: What things?
Me: Well, you know, like having a nice family, having food, having a place to live.
K: What else?
Me: How about...trees?
K: NOOOO!!!!! Hashem doesn't give us that kind of things!
Me: Well what does he give us then?
K: Toys!!!

Ella, unable to sleep, watched the first 15 mins of Back to the Future 3 with us

"I don't understand what's going on, but I like it!"

Me: Come on, we have to go. Get in the car.
Ella: (Incredibly enthusiastically) LET'S ROCK THE CASBAH!

some kid at the toy store last weekend was playing with a bunch of Thomas the Train toys and trying to tell me (at great length) about how coal-fired steam trains are better than diesel trains, cuz the diesel trains are mean. was preparing to blow his mind about how coal is possibly the worst most evil energy source in the world and diesel is much better fuiud but was distracted by Veronica asking me to explain a Calvin and Hobbes strip.

fucking Thomas, Thomas is a goddamn idiot is what he is

http://deadspin.com/why-your-childrens-television-program-sucks-thomas-f-732099029

lool Topham Hatt as Tom Coughlin

"knock knock!!"

"who's there"

"headface!!!!!!"

"headface who?"

"headface ON YOUR FACE!!!!!!!!"

...

Hank and I have been playing this game lately where we "Facetime" each other.

"Hey, Dad. Wanna Facetime?"

"Sure."

*SLAP*

_____

"Hey, Henry. Wanna Facetime Grampa?

"Yeah!"

"GO CARDS!"

*SLAP*

I... I just want you all to know that I don't really slap him hard or anything.

K: Tell a funny joke!
Me: Knock Knock.
K: Hahahahahahaha!

that's about the size of it

Ella, unable to sleep, watched the first 15 mins of Back to the Future 3 with us

"I don't understand what's going on, but I like it!"

― as verbose and purple as a Peter Ustinov made of plums (James Morrison), Saturday, September 12, 2015 10:28 AM (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I had the same moment, with Amber, age three, the movie was "Blade Runner (director's cut)"

The opening scene is a wide vista of a city in the dark:
Amber: "Wooo! Scary!"
And about two minutes later she was asleep. So I had to take her up. Never did see that movie.

Overheard:

"We're going to listen to some underground music and it's going to be very loud."

I've never used the phrase "underground music" around my 5-year-old.

Update, she has amended it to "We're going to listen to What Does The Fox Say and it's going to be very loud."

Knock Knock Jokes Part Two (K Learns):

K: Knock Knock
Me: Who's there?
K: Orange.
Me: Orange who?
K: Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
Me: Good one!
K: Knock Knock
Me: Who's there?
K: Orange
Me: Orange who?
K: Orange you Olive Banana Orange?

<3

haha

V: do you ever get that uncomfortable feeling, like you're in a white room with all white walls and white furniture and white light and everything is white?
Me: uhhhh

yikes!

Like Mr Nobody in the isolation tank in Doom Patrol
http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e56/tbondurant/dpv2_26_p18_thinking.jpg

*takes away Cream albums*

As I was leaving this morning, my bf yelled down at me from upstairs "dont forget your pills!"
7 y-o sitting in bed with him added "yeah and dont forget you're a BUTT!".

;_;

re: the white room thing - it came out of the blue so I was very taken aback (was she referring to a dream? something she saw on TV? something some other kid told her?) but after talking to her about it I realized she was referring to this album cover:
https://images.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-FZ48l-hdblY%2FTaTIHHXeyJI%2FAAAAAAAAACw%2FUATJNvYxlTQ%2Fs1600%2Fthe-juan-maclean.jpg&f=1

she likes the Juan Maclean a lot but is understandably weirded out by this cover

'I have dreams where I'm flying. They're a lot better than the dreams with the vampires.'