OVERHEARD

bus driver (northbound 206 on normandie tonight, after arriving way way later than he was supposed to) to disgruntled passengers getting on: "if i'm an hour late, how come you didn't just WALK? you wouldn't have to wait if you used those feet of yours. what are you doing out at this time of night anyway?"

i'm all for walking, but maybe koreatown at 10:30pm isn't the best time or place.

how are you supposed to know that he's going to be an hour late? if u walk he'll roll by you in between stops obv

i've never been the kind of asshole that has tried to get someone fired, but i think on tuesday i'm gonna give metro a call about this dude.

Posh English woman talking to a seller at a car boot sale, "sometimes I get a feeling from them and, (shivers) I don't buy anything from them".

2 women behind me in the library (where it's pretty quiet) - "Well, I don't know, I don't think I should have any hairs on my chest"

"I was throwing up, OK!"

One of my classmates at lunch: "Myspace is so DISTRACTING!"

One of thoses, "funny coz it's true" things...plus her tone of voice was so funny.

not really "overheard," but: yesterday i was on hollywood blvd and passed a street musician who was pounding out doomy metallica riffs on his guitar while tourists milled about on the walk of fame. i looked down and noticed he was standing on the peter frampton star. so adorable!

A girl in the class room next door to the one I was in: "So it's like the goat one! But I got the goat one...I liked the goat one."

*Shakes head*...ok??

http://www.cnr.edu/home/bmcmanus/satyr.jpg

The goat one.

Yesterday: "I mean does your face tell you that you're gay?"

http://www.punknews.org/images/covers/the_jesus_lizard-goat.jpg
xp

woman on street to six-year-old girl: "you're not gonna tell on me for using the N-word, right? it's just sometimes i see so much trash on the street and..."

At Dutchess County Fair last month:

One average looking man to another: They need to bring Charo back.

G: Did I hear what I think I did?
Me: YES

Camp voice in a shop "that's like something my gran used to wear when she was dead"

some recording studio guy in a cafe on selma and cahuenga, talking to his lunch companion:

"you know the band the jesus lizard? their singer will not perform a note until he is COMPLETELY drunk."

Some girl walking past me today : "yeah dp's, I can take 'em or leave 'em". I guess she was talking about something other than what I thought she was talking about.

Ok...this is more of a story of someone over hearing me...But it made me laugh so hard today.

Me: He kept trying to ask me out. And he asked me to marry him and I was all like NO!!!

Religion Teacher (male) in the other room I was walking by: "He asked me to marry him and I was all like NO!!!"

Me: Oh, shi...Hi! *Waves*

Last Saturday I was at the Brewey Arts complex open house (bunch of artists' studios) here in L.A. and was walking through a gallery there that had some chess sets and photographs of people with chess sets. One of the photos had a woman in it who I thought looked a lot like the actress that plays Mel on Flight of the Conchords, and as I turned away to the next piece I heard some guy behind me say "blah, blah, Jemaine" which I thought was a wierd coincidence that someone would say the name Jermaine and even pronounce it without the "R" like the FotC character after I had just thought about Mel. Then I figured it was someone who noticed the same resemblance and was making a joke ("I wonder if she's playing Jemaine, huh, huh" or some such). So I turn around to see if he was looking at the photo and maybe comment that she does indeed look like Mel. I see it is some older guy walking with the actual Mel (!!!) and she answers him something like "Jemaine's in New Zealand." They walk past and go into a side room so I didn't have time to say anything (plus she was talking to him and walking purposefully, so I probably wouldn't have anyway). I was thinking I would have said something if she was standing there alone like "Mel, I'm your biggest fan" although I may have thought of that after she was gone. Also I didn't know her real name, which is kind of embarrasing.

I was going to post this on the Flight of the Conchords thread, but it seems better here.

Out in the rain today, an old lady walked past me with her umbrella up, turned to me and said "You have to get wet, to get wet". I just looked baffled and walked on.

Andrew WK in disguise, obv.

Old drunk homeless dude muttering to himself. Ambulance goes past, lights and sirens a plenty.

"YOU'LL NEVER SELL ANY ICE CREAMS GOING THAT FAST!"

Kristen Schaal was in town performing at UCB and writing for South Park.

a classic xpost

homeless dude otm

REALLY REALLY DRUNK GUY ON A BIKE: I try to ride in the street, but those cars won't slow down.
ME: Well, you do have the right of way.
RRDGOAB: You got a quarter?
ME: No.
RRDGOAB: Got a dime?
ME: No.
RRDGOAB: I got nothin'.
ME: You got a bike.
RRDGOAB: Do you want it?

Dude in secondhand record store standing next to me, talking to the cashier... going through the new arrivals bin.

"yeah man, big black, awesome. You got any RAPEMAN? YEah thats Albini too. Songs about FUCKING, man"

I mean, I know he was all on an Albini tip and whatever but did he have to emphasise the RAPEMAN and FUCKING so loudly? Didn't impress me dude.

Gaggle of exceedingly Geordie guys in a lift:

"'e's a brussel"

"Yeah, 'e's a brussel"

"No 'e ain't a brussel"

"Yeah 'e is 'cause 'e worked for this other company before..."

?!?!?!?!

That "YOU'LL NEVER SELL ANY ICE CREAMS GOING THAT FAST!" from a bit earlier in the thread is a Morecambe and Wise classic, by the way:

http://kakapojayne.blogspot.com/2007/02/with-apologies-to-morecambe-wise.html

As I walked into the department this morning, I heard the oldest living working lecturer here (probably in London--dude's like 80), shout out: OH, FUCK YOU!. As I walked past his office I noticed that he was alone in there, not on the phone, with the computer off.

So he was shouting at you?

Nah, he shouted it before I came into view. Pretty much all my students every year complain about his lectures, think he's senile, etc. Ah, tenure.

I like him. What's his subject/specialism?

English--17th/18th century.

I'm macabre. I think I freak stoners out.
-- Some guy at Squat & Gobble wearing a Gatsby who seemed to be some kind of Home Depot manager type

Really long monologue by mid-30s woman on PATH including
"We decided against that Benz - it got the worst ratings from consumer reports"
"See I'd never cheat on my husband. We've got the condo together, we've got all these investments..."
"I find myself thinking 'I wish I'd done Thomas, I wish I did David, I wish I had Andy."
"A 25-year old guy can't even make the decision to get married."
"My mom asked all of us whether we thought she should get back together with dad. Everyone who said no, she stopped talking to them...(a few seconds later) I had the best mom."

"He's got Assburgers Syndrome, so he gets turned on by wearing women's shoes"

--Part of a LOLheavy 20 minute conversation between two 16 yr old girls on the train.

more of that conversation plz

There's a store called Squat & Gobble?? Ew.

Squat & Gobble has some fine brunchy-type stuff, such as salads, tofu scramble, pancakes, and hefeweisen. European tourists, at least, seem to adore it.

"if he lectures me again i'm gonna stick a grenade launcher up his ass." --a couple of hollywood guys on the train who produce shows for nbc

"Well, it's raining! It was sunny this morning, we're not going to get a summer this year are we. Look at it raining, if anyone still doesn't believe in global warming now they need shooting"

SHUT UP OH JUST SHUT UP

"I've got the video of my hip surgery, and it's pretty cool..."

Is this commonplace now?

Jersey Lawyer 1: "I went to New York this weekend."
Jersey Lawyer 2: "Ah, yeah?"
JL 1: "Yeah, New York is great. I love the atmosphere. You can go to a restaurant, walk around, see a musical."
JL 2: "Did you ever go to John's Pizza?"
JL 1: "Nah"
JL 2: "Oh, you gotta go."
JL 1: "Why?"
JL 2: "It's great. You can take the whole family. It's a great place."

This conversation took place about 15 minutes from the George Washington Bridge.

"Yo that's a subpoena, yo"
"What?"
"Let me see that...yeah, that's a subpoena."
<peruses said subpoena, hands it back to the other guy>
"They ain't got nothin' on you."

this morning on BART

Woman just sitting at the table next to me with her fiance or husband just bitched for about 10 minutes about exactly what was wrong with her engagement or wedding ring and how she was planning to change it. She's "Thinking of going gold instead of platinum" and she wants the stones "recessed, because there's this design that everyone has" and she wants "something different." Then it was that the ring "has a smell" because "sweetie, the problem is it's not micro kava [?], it's just kava [?] so the mildew gets in."

All I could tell was that her ring looked expensive as all fuck. These are the kinds of things one overhears in Brooklyn Heights/DUMBO

the slash that should not be

Well this was in DUMBO, fwiw, but I've been hearing conversations like this ever since I moved to brooklyn heights.

oooh my turn!

2 ladies in the cafe at whole foods columbus circle discussing the merits of working or staying home:

"but if i have to work, i have to get a nanny. nannies are SO expensive - like $15 an hour!!"

i hate you people and your willingness to underpay the people taking care of what is supposedly the most important thing in your life.