Bond #24: SPECTRE

it was never laughable, nor was it as funny as some of the pre release interviews made out. that would have made it more entertaining to be honest. it never seemed to quite excel in any one area, it just did a little bit of all the things bond should do, without doing them esp amazingly.

The bit with the rat was quite funny.

It was amazing how similar the Blofeld "reveal" was to the way they treated Khan in Into Darkness. The whole pre-release strategy of "oh he's definitely not who you think he is" followed by the utterly anticlimactic scene where the villain utters his name and 90% of the audience goes "huh?"

Surprised that so many people are saying it picks up with Sedoux's introduction as well. Even by Bond standards her instant transformation from takes no shit independent woman to goo goo eyed love slave ("James, I'm scared") was pretty cringeworthy

Anybody else notice at her weirdo psychiatric retreat centre where Bond has just met her and it's clear the scene's been written as classic on-the-pull Bond filrt fest, and she says something like "enjoy the view?" referring to the stunning alpine vista behind her and Bond is CLEARLY meant to subtextually say "PHWOAAARRRR" on his next line but just mumbles through it. I thought that was shocking. Fair enough if Craig doesn't like the dialogue but it's up to the director to either make that moment happen that way it's supposed to, or change the line

that said the whole middle section was hugely enjoyable despite the worst intentions of all involved and fuiud

HEY IF WALTZ WEARS A BALD WIG I MIGHT SEE THIS EVENTUALLY

He wears a little tiny bald wig on one of his eyeballs, that totally counts.

I didn't think about it but the psychiatric center is almost a callback to OHMSS too -- Blofeld was using an allergy research center w/hypnosis as cover to create brainwashed agents

the aspects of Blofeld: white cat, scar over eye, bald, nehru collar jacket

guess they covered most of them

00's high water mark bond (I would watch a mark bond movie) is casino royale as far as the poker game. Downwards sharply after that.

Felt like a perfectly anonymous Brosnan-era movie. Maybe The World Is Not Enough? I never ever want to see a super-hacker in a Bond movie - especially if it's Q.

ur insane

Nah, super hackers are always terrible. Exception that proves the rule: Nathalie Emmanuel in Fast & Furious 7.

Mr Robot is a whole show about a super hacker which manages to be not terrible.

Only just, tbrr

Fair point (tho I haven't watched it) - super hackers in a film where they're just an adjunct to a filling progress bar are terrible.

At least we didn't get stupid cackling-skull graphics this time like in Skyfall.

(minor spoilers for Sherlock and Spectre) Kinda funny/sad that Andrew Scott pretends to be a superhacker in Sherlock when he's really got moles everywhere, but in this "spy" movie he actually manages to hack into every private camera.

very disappointed that all possible spa hijinks were reduced to one juicing joke.

also, the anti-privacy villain should have been nathan barley, not moriarty.

haven't seen that actor in anything lately, that would have been good

honestly was disappointed that he didn't use the moriarty voice

I enjoyed this but I always get annoyed at the whole "SOFTWARE IS GOING ONLINE IN FIFTEEN MINUTES" trope in films.

this isn't Skynet. Couldn't they just like....turn it off even if it goes live for like 2 hours, after they've removed the imminent threat?

oh noes Moriarty saw my grandpa in the shower briefly

do you know what a pain it is to roll back software that's been released to production?

my company seems to do it every October so...

lol u guys this was so bad

goes sideways with the opening credits/theme and then just... keeps... going... sideways. the decade-long slide that began with the closing credits of casino royale

what a waste of bellucci and batista

It was shocking yeah, but I'm not sure how much more they could have done with Batista tbf

his intro was only moment where this thing threatened to come alive, but after that it was all anonymous mustache-twirling villainy and Jaws callbacks.

dunno what else you expected really. The guy's not an actor. His role in GOTG was essentially based around him being terrible at saying words

Like The Rock, the guy has a ton of charisma from his wrestling days - he can definitely be used much better. Deserves more credit for perf in GOTG IMO

Rock had way more conventional acting talent though.

i dunno christoph waltz is an actor and batista was def more watchable

harsh but probably true!

http://www.billboard.com/articles/news/6805226/lana-del-rey-bond-song-nme-007

I don't like Lana Del Rey, but I'm sure could whack out a miles better Bond theme than the one we got.

she is so blatantly right for it. the latest album has 3/4 songs that are classic bond songs without even trying. sam smith. whatever.

Holding out for Goldfrapp myself.

XP One of which has a blatant lift from "You Only Live Twice".

sam smith's spectre song sucks but the instrumentation really worked well in the movie theatre.

this movie was so. fucking. terrible.

terrible opening credits - the song was sooooo lame, the visuals were extra lame.

just about every piece of dialog was so tired and cliched.

i kept seeing monica bellucci billed as 'the bond girl' but she's in it for all of 2 minutes.

poor waltz is never going to play any other character than a smug asshole.

and daniel craig is a lame bond.

i was with you till that last bit. casino royale is still tight.

i just don't find him appealing at all!

;_;

he's my favorite bond

his face annoys me, and i don't mean "annoys" me, either

the only good thing about this movie is bond moving across the rooftops in the opening sequence with total poise and assurance - craig is remarkably graceful

otherwise it was shit, obv

Any analysis of the movie that ignores Dave Bautista's gleefully murderous henchman is a little lacking, I think.

Basically though Daniel Craig is good at playing a version of Bond that I have no interest in watching, even as murder machines go Bourne was at least charming.

I think I just uncritically like movies like this about 90% of the time ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

except Sam Worthington movies, those are almost always reliably terrible

Yeah, I occasionally wonder about him - what would it be like to star in, and be completely incidental to, the biggest movie of all time?

he was in Titanic?