Coffee

The rye wound up being gag-worthy on its own but mixed 1:2 with heavy cream (or, presumably 1:1:1 with cream liqueur and cream) over ice was tasty.

I had to stop at a real estate office today that has a Breville Oracle - super-semi-automatic espresso machine. It works like a regular setup only it grinds and tamps for you and automatically steams the milk. If I had an extra lol$2k sitting around I would definitely get one.

Breville is really nice in terms of function and ease of use, but it isn't built to last, and the customer service can be hit or miss. For automatics and semi-automatics, I'd stick with the Swiss -- you will make up the price difference when you don't have to replace it.

(A COPY OF THIS POST WAS AUTOMATICALLY SENT TO THE "NO WAY SNA" THREADWEASELS.)

Having come into coffee culture only v recently and through mainly single origins, I know so little abt blends, but I want to start fucking w/ my own! What are the widely-accepted "rules" abt blends, and which of those should I stick to/which are bullshit? I've tried mixing an impossibly fruity medium-roast Ethiopian w/ a relly dark oily Guatemala w/ interesting results and I don't have the balance quite right but I feel like I'm on to something

http://newcolumbiaheights.blogspot.com/2016/01/qualia-coffee-has-crazy-new-automatic.html

this is just...a high quality drip machine?

lmao

LMFAO "automatic pour-over"

speaking of pour-over i got a chemex 3-cup for christmas, probably the cleanest cup of coffee (for better or worse, sometimes i want a little sludge tbh) i'm able to make at home

ergh and my moka pot is fucked for some reason. i finally replaced the gasket but it hasn't worked since, very strange, just starts sputtering immediately and a thick, black, oil-like sludge spits out and fills up only like 1/4 or so of the top chamber, lots of water left in the bottom chamber. i don't know why changing the gasket would do this, or why it somehow worked with the previous rotting, burned-out, crumbly gasket

and a thick, black, oil-like sludge

a good cup of coffee right there

lol don't get me wrong i still drank it

it was ... intense

I JUST UPGRADED MY COFFEE RIG AND I AM SO EXCITED!!! I dropped most of my Christmas money on:

* Capresso Infinity grinder (it is amazing and I love it so much)
* Bonavita digital variable-temp electric gooseneck kettle
* Kalita Wave pour-over dripper
* Hario 800ml carafe for making coffee for two

It's all so much fun and I love it!! rn we're brewing a lot of Jamaican Blue Mtn in my house and doing a ratio of like 1:15 coffee to water and it's so delicious

I bought some k-cups

I'm still drinking the Starbucks Colombian Via packets I get in bulk from Costco -- so easy and pretty tasty. Not up to my true inner coffee snob standards but meet my minimum threshold. When I serve it to guests it's like one of those old Folgers switch commercials.

I stayed at a hotel with those and they're better than most hotel coffee setups

years ago when I had a free trial pack, I learned I can't drink them black on an empty stomach due to extreme immediate intestinal distress

my Breville burr grinder was badly showing its age this past year. My big Christmas gift from my wife was this sweet upgrade. It's very nice to just hit a button to automatically get the exact amount (Breville aptly calls them "doses") of ground coffee that I want each morning.

They are super strong and, uh, cleansing, yes. FWIW I tend to use almost as much milk as water when I make them, don't know whether that eases it or not. Certainly doesn't technically make it any weaker.

lmao trying to alleviate intestinal distress w/ milk for me wd be like trying to extinguish a grease fire by throwing a bucket of water on it

lol yes

TJ's vanilla unsweetened almond milk 4eva

It's so much better than all other almond milk and it doesn't even have guar gum or soy lecithin in it!

nice rig stevie!

I inexplicably thought it'd be a good idea to drink this concoction on an empty stomach on the way to work one day: http://www.bolthouse.com/product/proteinpluscoffee

turns out it's really acidic coffee combined with real milk

need to get that bulletproof coffee jk

tried that once, butter in the coffee. it was some buttery-ass coffee.

im a bit rueful abt it considering the volume of butter tea ive had forced upon me

bulletproof coffee is something disgustingly savage in the guise of a health food

ive only had butter tea once and i really liked it, butter coffee doesn't sound very good, i generally don't really like dairy in my coffee

better tea can be good but is also just fundamentally weird imho

very weird for sure

any moka pot experts want to help me out with my problem? i miss using it

I'm a via fan. I keep it as back up coffee in case I run out of my normal stuff and can't make it to the cafe to buy more.

buy a new one i guess xp

nah man this is a very simple technology i just need to troubleshoot, this isn't some crazy espresso machine

its time for u to buy a new moka pot

i will not

sry u have to

new gasket is maybe letting too much/not enough air out is the only guess i can come up with

buttery ass coffee is precisely what one is left with 30 or so minutes after consuming bulletproof coffee. tastes p good when yr drinking it tho

I thought it was pretty tasty, I didn't use the magical butter recommended, though

has anyone made a bad youtube video about trying it with margarine for questionable humor purposes

Could the gasket be too thin, thereby allowing the upper part to block the holes? If you have a second one of the same size try two gaskets.

marcos, maybe try flipping the gasket over? it might be designed to be used with a certain side down. make sure it's not being pinched when closed into the pot. otherwise get another gasket, it's possible that it just doesn't fit your pot.

yea i'll try that. it is a bialetti gasket and i think i got the right one (6-cup), fits very snugly, much more so than the old crumbly gasket which had all kinds of cracks but worked quite well.

i'm also wondering too if i used too fine a grind and packed the coffee in there too much. idk though. i did some experiments with just water and no coffee and the first time the water flowed out like normal and the second time it did the sputtery thing right away

Stovetop grind definitely is not as fine as espresso machine grind, and you shouldn't tamp it hard, just sort of press it down with a spoon.

You don't need the flat surface you would need in an espresso machine -- the water comes in the other way anyway.

if it had that problem with no coffee in it, it has to be the gasket right? i mention flipping it because i had that problem with a seal in a faucet once. as soon as i flipped it, no more leaking. i kinda doubt these are made the same way though. try a different one!

Yes, Bialettis are concave side down.

reminds me of the time I used one of those fill-your-own k-cup things and compressed the grounds before putting it in a machine at work

thankfully no one was harmed and I was the only one in the room

alright! moka pot working again. i used a coarser grind, no tamping, i think i was overenthusiastic the other day and packed too much coffee in there and it clogged it up, also i read that it can take a couple brews before a new rubber gasket seals properly