Sorry, forgot to finish a sentence: "The basis of any relationship, especially with people as young as us, I believe it needs to have sexual chemistry or it will fail."
― got a long list of ilxors (fgti), Wednesday, 9 December 2015 22:25 (eight years ago) link
fgti, are these fulfilling sexual relationships also examples of serious intimacy?
― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 9 December 2015 22:32 (eight years ago) link
Well, it was the poly thing I've been talking about for the past year. For my bf it was casual and fun and he had a great time! So much so that he got up to some other stuff without a discussion first (whoops!) and caused us a three week breakup in September, that we resolved OK.
For me it was really intense and insane and me and dude were screwing for hours and hallucinating and crying and walking arm in arm down the street afterward, and it is somewhat "still on" between us, and though we're trying to be cool about it out of respect for our primary relationships, we can't really be in a room together without sweating and pining
― got a long list of ilxors (fgti), Wednesday, 9 December 2015 22:38 (eight years ago) link
For a few personal reasons (or maybe just taste?) I've never had a taste for casual sex, and am equal parts awed and disgusted by people who enjoy it... me I tend to crush on friends I've known for 5+ years. I don't know what to do!
― got a long list of ilxors (fgti), Wednesday, 9 December 2015 22:41 (eight years ago) link
me I tend to crush on friends I've known for 5+ years.
It takes me long to smell their pheronomes tbh
― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 9 December 2015 22:43 (eight years ago) link
*takes me this long
me I tend to crush on friends I've known for 5+ years. I don't know what to do!
THIS!
THIS THIS THIS!
― Ballistic: ILX vs. Sever (Eric H.), Wednesday, 9 December 2015 22:44 (eight years ago) link
drop trou or git over em
― skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 9 December 2015 22:50 (eight years ago) link
Yeahhhhh I mean
Just for example, a dude (40) I've known for 13 years or so and is ~adorable~ is prob my biggest crush right now. We hooked up once drunkenly a few years ago and it was amazing. I try and discuss with my bf the possibility of asking him out on a date. Bf thinks it's creepy that I'd be making designs on my friends like this! He prefers for things to happen accidentally. I don't know how to even have this discussion properly, that if I respect his preference toward hooking up with a stranger now and again, mightn't he respect the fact that I'd prefer to get a date pass?
There's got to be a rulebook for this somewhere right lol
― got a long list of ilxors (fgti), Wednesday, 9 December 2015 23:33 (eight years ago) link
Also, any of you guys gonna be in MTL around New Year's? Big party at my place, I'm making fragrant crispy duck and other Vietnamese taste objects
― got a long list of ilxors (fgti), Wednesday, 9 December 2015 23:35 (eight years ago) link
that sounds like a fair trade to me. xp
― mattresslessness, Wednesday, 9 December 2015 23:35 (eight years ago) link
other Vietnamese taste objects
may I have their measurements?
― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 9 December 2015 23:36 (eight years ago) link
just going to post this here because i've been thinking about what i value in my relationship
“The idea of having one love in your life was not an aspiration for us,” Hal said, when I ask him what it was like to be the primary love object of a queer theorist who wrote so prolifically about the complexities of desire and relationships. Later, Hal referenced D. W. Winnicott’s concept of the “holding environment,” in which the mother creates a safe space for the child that allows the child to then look out into the world, to think about something else beyond the mother’s care. Eve used this idea in her work. Hal offered it as a way of thinking about what they both did for one another.
“Yesterday when you asked me about love,” he wrote the next day, in an e-mail, “I talked a little about Winnicott’s ‘holding environment’ and my notion of a mutuality in which Eve and I provided that for each other. But there’s more to love than that. Here’s another aspect of it that was essential to Eve and to me.” He then quoted from “A Dialogue on Love.”
Oh, right, I keep forgetting, for lots and lots of people in the world, the notion of “falling in love” has (of all things) sexual connotations. No, that’s not what I think is happening. For me, what falling in love means is different. It’s a matter of suddenly, globally, “knowing” that another person represents your only access to some vitally transmissible truth or radiantly heightened mode of perception,and that if you lose the thread of this intimacy, both your soul and your whole world might subsist forever in some desert-like state of ontological impoverishment.
http://www.newyorker.com/books/page-turner/between-us-a-queer-theorists-devoted-husband-and-enduring-legacy
― mattresslessness, Wednesday, 9 December 2015 23:40 (eight years ago) link
omg yes
― got a long list of ilxors (fgti), Thursday, 10 December 2015 00:16 (eight years ago) link
Crying rn! Thank you mattresslessness
oh and i was about to post, sorry for weepie lol
― mattresslessness, Thursday, 10 December 2015 00:18 (eight years ago) link
I was trying to figure a way to make the trip, fgti, but it's not looking great...
Because no gay man has ever loved me, let me change the flow. Any rec'd gay book lists for the year? Alfred, have you read The Gay revolution?
― skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 10 December 2015 05:07 (eight years ago) link
I'm slowly plugging away at A Little Life like the NPR-listening soccer mom I am.
― Ballistic: ILX vs. Sever (Eric H.), Thursday, 10 December 2015 05:08 (eight years ago) link
I checked The Gay Revolution out of the library on Tuesday morning; I'm starting it as soon as I finish quasi-gay Muriel Spark's The Mandelbaum Gate.
― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 10 December 2015 13:27 (eight years ago) link
The fight+argument=fargument continues. On my end it's just like "holy shit, if your boyfriend is saying 'initiate more sex with me' isn't the solution as easy as tackling him and getting to work?" Why does it have to turn into a discussion. I don't know what to do. Asking for intimacy is like a lose-lose game, like begging someone to love you. I'm just counting the minutes til I see my other lover again, and worrying about what I'll do when that relationship inevitably concludes.
― got a long list of ilxors (fgti), Friday, 11 December 2015 16:54 (eight years ago) link
Dealing with other human beings is often a pain in the ass. I hope this works out for you.
― markers, Friday, 11 December 2015 17:49 (eight years ago) link
Reeling again tbh and I'm not sure if I'll ever snap out of this cycle.
― Ballistic: ILX vs. Sever (Eric H.), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 22:47 (eight years ago) link
I'm too intimidated to bring it to the depression thread tho.
― Ballistic: ILX vs. Sever (Eric H.), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 22:48 (eight years ago) link
will a martini help -- very dry?
― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 22:53 (eight years ago) link
I'd like to think so.
― Ballistic: ILX vs. Sever (Eric H.), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 22:55 (eight years ago) link
g'luck fellas
Someone at work reminds me that I generally have a thing for Jewish guys with prominent noses, but have slept with very few.
― skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 23:02 (eight years ago) link
have you slept w/the Jewish guys?
― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 23:04 (eight years ago) link
no, just the noses
― skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 23:09 (eight years ago) link
i'm living in the wrong city
― clouds, Thursday, 17 December 2015 07:05 (eight years ago) link
Be glad you're not saying "world" yet.
― Ballistic: ILX vs. Sever (Eric H.), Thursday, 17 December 2015 13:05 (eight years ago) link
what's going on
― How to Destroy How to Dress Well (lou), Friday, 18 December 2015 23:46 (eight years ago) link
currently an unemployed deadbeat squeezing every last cent out of a severance package. kind of loving it though.
gay as ever…
― How to Destroy How to Dress Well (lou), Friday, 18 December 2015 23:47 (eight years ago) link
heyyyy lou!
― skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 19 December 2015 01:08 (eight years ago) link
loulou! <3
― Whoremonger (jed_), Saturday, 19 December 2015 02:28 (eight years ago) link
*cues Rock n Roll Animal version of "Sweet Jane"*
― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 19 December 2015 02:34 (eight years ago) link
for xmas my bub got me a gengoroh tagame tank!! <3 <3
http://i.imgur.com/EVoRWzJ.jpg
― clouds, Sunday, 27 December 2015 14:57 (eight years ago) link
looks very hot. hi.
― surm, Monday, 28 December 2015 00:06 (eight years ago) link
hi surm!!
― clouds, Monday, 28 December 2015 00:27 (eight years ago) link
hi!! xoxx
― surm, Monday, 28 December 2015 00:33 (eight years ago) link
is that lou up there? lou, i've been meaning to find you
― surm, Monday, 28 December 2015 00:34 (eight years ago) link
so somebody give me the lowdown on fall. three sentences would be sufficient but feel free to expound if you like.
― surm, Monday, 28 December 2015 00:37 (eight years ago) link
fall?
― donna rouge, Monday, 28 December 2015 00:51 (eight years ago) link
yes didn't it just end? i wasn't around for it so i was just curious if there were a general tone around these parts.
― surm, Monday, 28 December 2015 00:54 (eight years ago) link
how's it going ramz?!
no job + warm enough to wear shorts in December = my favorite fall in a while
― How to Destroy How to Dress Well (lou), Tuesday, 29 December 2015 17:12 (eight years ago) link
good!! that sounds very nice :) just been thinking about you is all. would be great if we can chat sometime
― surm, Tuesday, 29 December 2015 18:23 (eight years ago) link
i've been listening to Erotica lately, it's very fun to get ready to
― surm, Wednesday, 30 December 2015 06:22 (eight years ago) link
fall fellyes, i enjoyed all the manlegs from our extinction-ready mildnessworst Christmas drama ever, do fall esp looks good now
lovin' the stray gray in the beard, C!
start winter thread
― skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 31 December 2015 00:54 (eight years ago) link
best post thx
― surm, Thursday, 31 December 2015 13:12 (eight years ago) link
My momma made me learn this song: a gay Winter for 2015
― surm, Thursday, 31 December 2015 13:27 (eight years ago) link