OVERHEARD

:D

Hahahah thats fecking fantastic! Well done that girl.

Walking by the shore in New Zealand I see a middle-aged white haired man on a cell phone shouting in a thick Texas drawl, "I will NEVER! I will NEVER! I will NEVER do another deal with RANDY!"

Crazy blind Jamaican lady on the bus, standing up front yelling at us, preaching her wisdom: "Why do you t'ink you never see a Chinese drug addict? Or Chinese prostitute?"

Well we know why SHE doesnt oh yes I went there.

"You're awfully demanding for a Stone Age person."

teh Viceroy just got a 'QC SUPPLY' catalog & is musing over it out loud

"Huh, this thing holds up to 30 mice."
"Anticoagulants, nice!"
"There's anticoagulant resistant rodents? Gross."
"Cow de-licer. Awesome."
"Wow! A little cow cleaner stall. 'Cow goes in the stall, jets turn on.Cow becomes clean.'"

Hahah!

My upstairs the other day on the phone to a ladyfriend while in the back stairwell:

I can't believe we slept together the first night I mean . . . you must have a lot of confidence. Did you take me home thinking we were going to have sex or did it just happen?

I made my exit at that point. There are just some things I don't need to know about Luciano.

is it designed kinda like a car wash?

lol uh I thought you meant my neighbor's ladyfriend for a second there. I was very confused.

But is your neighbor's ladyfriend designed kinda like a car wash?

I don't know. Maybe if I'd stuck around and continued eavesdropping I would know more.

disgusting.

!!

http://img33.imageshack.us/img33/1701/carwashz.jpg

Well you know maybe it DOES take confidence to sleep with a carwash!

"You're awfully demanding for a Stone Age person."

Would like this said to me in bed.

Young Brooklyn woman to young Brooklyn woman, in caustic tone: "That's exactly what I fucking told him out of my mouth"

Scored an Overhead in DC on DCist a couple of weeks ago:

A twenty-something couple is sitting on a block by the FDR memorial, among the cherry blossoms.

Man: "I find ways to work smarter, not harder, and then I work harder as well."
Woman, placing hand on his knee and looking adoringly into his eyes: (sigh) "Efficiency..."

hahaha, love that

Just now on the bus from some woman sitting behind me, "I'm ok with the blood part but I just can't stomach the stool."

"...and that's why I'm dropping out of nursing school."

Close!! That's why she stopped being a medical assistant. It got better too. She told an almost poetic story about giving a homeless man with maggot infested ass sores a flu shot. Most of this stuff doesn't bother me but even I was a little O_O. I also learned that she had to drop out of school and get her "Good Enough Diploma" after getting "knocked up", that her mother and sister are both bi-polar but self-medicate and that her 14 year old black lab's name is Spike. This was all in less than 10 mins. Tbh she was pretty interesting and I might kiw given the chance.

I'll bet that man had the cleanest and healthiest wounds in the city--maggots are great for keeping wounds infection-free.

Oh, don't worry, she covered that too. ;)

maggot infested ass sores

well if you're going to get ass sores it's probably best to get maggot infested ones

There was another story along those lines but I think you've probably heard enough.

just so u remember u never have the right to accuse me of posting grossout shit ever again

I don't think I ever have!!

(dude at the next table in a Fullerton, CA coffee bar)

“My tattoo is only partially done. The artist has disappeared and I’m looking for someone who can finish it.”

at some airport security checkpoint a couple of years ago:

woman to young boy: "put on your shoes! put them on! i mean it! put them on right now!"

boy: "no one ever comes to our house."

was catching snippets of some choice conversation today but never enough to pull it together and I thought of this thread and muttered UNDERHEARD loudly enough to stop them

"I never had any kids until I had my first."

was eating lunch next to these people

person a: yeah, she doesn't come home til late
person b: oh he's white?
a: i don't even see when she comes in...yeah
b: oh he's not asian. 'cause he's white. they're all like that
a: she comes home like at 2 or 3am. she's not dating him anymore though
b: oh now she's with the korean guy?
a: yeah
b: oh that's why. all koreans do is drink and go out til late
a: well because she got it from the first guy, now she wants to keep doing it

lol

"I don't want to just run to suburbia like other christians. Run and hide".

- on the bus

"You could have had the best escort agency in the world but because of my view you won't be making 100 grand. Because of my view!"

- to phone held in front of face, gesticulating with other hand.

"you speak really good english!"

"well i have been here 61 years"

"some of em come over and dont speak a word!"

"ive no time for them whatever, especially british transport police, they probably couldnt even find Appleby

26 years it took them to find me, they aren't the sharpest tools in the box, I'm not paying my licence fee. A million pounds thats what they pay bloody Lineker

there is no way a semi-literate police constable is going to write my statement

the governor general of the bbc presided over the jimmy saville case and got a £2m pay rise!

the thing about these people, is they way laugh all the way to the bank

the boss of network rail got 300k for trains running a little closer to the time. isnt that supposed to be his job

pendolino crash, negative maintenance report. did he resign? course he bloody he didn't

its like that bloody blair, one of my friends is a champagne socialist. blair was in the miners club in sedgefield. he was in the back having a bloody glass of wine. Thats Labour for you

I was writing these down in real time but there were too many so i missed some.

Some guy in my office:

"We don't have much choice: we've either got to go the whole hog or... just some of the hog"