Rolling Worst Music of 2016 - Making That Meghan Trainor Money

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtoVQXkLHuk
in case anyone thinks i'm being petty, her live version has a quarter million views and this is being promoted on spotify's front page "new music"

American Idol, or just a YouTube personality?

Lana del Chapman

youtube i think but they're trying to turn her into someone

Jesus, how did we miss that Natalie La Rose/Jeremih song from last year anyway? SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!

a lot of ppl on here like that song actually

Some trancecore band updates Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start The Fire":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_16Ws1vYoc0

Jesus, how did we miss that Natalie La Rose/Jeremih song from last year anyway? SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!

that song is fucking amazing

the full song isn't online yet but Steven Tyler's latest solo single "Red, White & You" is already charting on country stations:
https://clyp.it/vn1e1eq5

oh boy

as if country radio listeners don't have it bad enough

former AMERICAN IDOL judge pulls a Kristy Lee Cook

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzC3_QN7028

Jesus, how did we miss that Natalie La Rose/Jeremih song from last year anyway? SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!

― how's life, Thursday, January 14, 2016 12:15 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I first heard this at a Bat Mitzvah last weekend. V appropriate DJ selection for a room full of 13-year-olds, I thought.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdzTsiRnkOM

why is he enunciating his rs so well and making ersatz tom petty references??? :,(

I ran out, nothing else matters, You and me and the Georgia natives
Look around ‘cause it don’t get any better, Have you ever felt so alright?
Lets dance, take it slow, Tom Petty on the radio
When we’re singing about American Girls like you
When I look in your eyes, all I wanna do is…

Bang bang baby like the 4th of July, A Lightning strike in the midnight sky
Don’t give a damn about the summertime blues, All I need is red white and you
Peel off those colors babe, tell me you’re gonna stay
American girls making dreams come true
All I need is red white and

You pulling me a little bit closer, Heart beating like a big bass drum
We spinning’ on a roller coaster, A “Free Fallin’” into your yum yum yum
All the bad girls rockin’ those cut off jeans, and good old boys driving Big Machines
And you can kiss my ass, can’t help but say, it’s good to be “Born in the USA”

Bang bang baby like the 4th of July, A Lightning strike in the midnight sky
Don’t give a damn about the summertime blues, All I need is red white and you
Peel off those colors babe, tell me you’re gonna stay
American girls making dreams come true
All I need is red white and

Baby…
What we gonna do
Honey, I don’t give a damn about the summer time blues
All I need is…

Bang bang baby like the 4th of July, A Lightning strike in the midnight sky
Don’t give a damn about the summertime blues, All I need is red white and you
Peel off those colors babe, tell me you’re gonna stay
American girls making dreams come true
All I need is red white and you

Baby
Baby
All I need is red white and
You
Don’t give a damn about the summer time blues
All I need is red white and you.

And here I thought someone was just posting that Macklemore song again.

immediately closed tab after the "SWEET POTATO PIIIIE" adlib

“Free Fallin’” into your yum yum

anyway that trance-joel-reboot-thingy is slightly more horrible than fast car imo

Jasmine Thompson has already had a UK #2 hit thanks to a remix of her "Ain't Nobody" cover, so she's definitely on her way. Someone's beaten her to doing a dance remix of "Fast Car" though (and is currently #2 in Australia)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjnadPBMJGs

Yeah I was super confused when looking at the iTunes chart recently and saw that 2 dance versions of fast car were in the top 20 (chapman's own song had risen to about #40 also)

what a time to be alive

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cs9jP2ILOw

that one sounds p good to me

Listening to Jasmine Thompson I'm just wondering whether she actually intends to sing like that or, if not, who exactly she's trying to sound like. The way she pronounces the *actual title of the song* is the most grating part.

Also, how it possible to make the lyrics of We Didn't Start The Fire even more stupid? I wouldn't have thought it could be done.

Cops are falling out of line
Congress running out of time
Ceiling being raised again
Who cares were broke anyway
Donald Trump, Hilary
Change is what we realy need
Drone Strikes, Neon Lights
American dreams

Bruce`s name is caitlyn now
Go ahead and show us how
The hardest thing for women is
Finding what to wear
Miley Cyrus free the breast
Kanye West for president
Charlie Sheen HIV
Tiger blood that what you mean!?

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

Gun laws GMO`s
Lamar ODOM, smart phones
Whoever said money was the answer that you need?
Middle east, Syria refugees hysteria
Seeking your asylum never seemed so fucking hard
Russian plane taken down
None of us are safe and sound
Even Christmas parties are a terrible affair

Charlie Hebdo Heresy
going down in infamy
ISIS at the rock show
Paris wont take anymore

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

Justin Bieber`s back again
Lebron James` balding head
Gay Marriage all the way
Malaysian Airlines disappeared
Tom Brady`s deflated balls
Adele and her a thousand calls
Chris Pratt, Jurassic World
Hover boards and Star Wars

Earthquakes, handshakes
Making deals with high stakes
Global warming, habits forming
Giving what you take
Do we realize what it takes?
Lives matter every race
Michael Brown blown away
What else do have to say!?

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

oh dear lord please tell me those aren't real

They are. I watched that whole video in a kind of fascinated horror.

I mean, the content of the lyrics is bad enough, but they're so lazy that they don't even *try* to make it scan or match the original pacing.

I watched it twice, mostly to make sure that I wasn't having some dreadful hallucination the first time through.

they flipped the 'what else do i have to say' and 'i can't take it anymore' constructs

sigh

also jasmine thompson is clearly in the ellie goulding mold

As there isn't a thread for "this exists?!?", here's the hair metal song the balloon hoax boy has made about his experience. Don't worry, topic purists, it's pretty fucking bad.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVbV_Sis99o

also jasmine thompson is clearly in the ellie goulding mold

Ah, that explains why I couldn't place it - I've been avoiding Ellie Goulding since I first heard her nails-down-blackboard wickle giwl voice.

Clearly. they locked the kid in a room while "Sweating Bullets" played on an endless loop. This may be one of the more abusive families ever.

so Mike Posner is back on the Hot 100

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDJf0p4yQek

bleh, this is the sort of song I can't even dislike, I just feel bad for the dude. even if he went to duke

Millennials are already having midlife crises?

That song makes me think of this anti smut group: http://www.fightthenewdrug.org

Hashtag IRL by Throwing Shade

OMG it's about social media WTF?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahwQhkvMFuI

cosign, meant to post this but forgot

Ugh. 'Honeytrap' by her was one of my favourite tracks of last year. I actually still like the music on that one, but yeah, the motif is ridiculously shallow/stupid.

I seem to only come to these threads with songs whose merits I'm confused about.

Naomi Elizabeth - Do You Ever Feel Like You Might Be Cool
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYZE037e9Zc

Unlistenable garbage with a positive message is still unlistenable garbage. Does that help?

Re: masterpieces from January

Iggy Azalea's "Azillion" - um, maybe not *the* worst, but it does sound ridiculous. If they'd put more thought into it, they could've stumbled across a much better rhyme scheme like "incarceration", "nation" and "appreciation". It's got a few problems, anyway. (The n-word soundalike being the most egregious oversight.)

"We Didn't Start the Fire" - burning records in a furnace is never pleasant, but if only the DJs in the '80s had had more nous, they really could've cut this song off at the source. In defence of this version, it's quite well produced and is pretty much in the spirit of the original. But fuck 'em both.

"Red White and You" - ooh, a rock version of "Marvin Gaye" (country, w/e). I knew the thread shouldn't have been named after Meghan, her influence grows by the day.

"Fast Car" - who cares

Throwing Shade - almost feels like it belongs in Earliest mention of the internet in a song or title , the phrases are so clichéd. But I'll reserve criticism until I know whether the archaisms are part of a conceptual joke, or something.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjknndcGitI

xTheOxx 5 hours ago
Didn't like Peter Cetera then, don't like him now either.

Al Bhed 4 hours ago
umm.....I like this song and all, but the video kinda implies that Cee Lo wanted to fuck that panda

playlist is up to date with what's on spotify thus far. Back in a month.
ILM's Rolling Worst Songs 2016 Spotify Playlist

"mercy" is awesome wtf

Speaking of pandas:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvRzBQtHlYE

that's pretty inoffensive all things considered.

The entirety of the new Bloc Party album that came out on Friday.

good grief!

So no one has commented on here about how atrocious the number 1 song in the country, "Closer" by the Chainsmokers is? Okaaayyyyy

nah that's kind of a jam

maybe if there was a Rolling Worst People

it's a bad song

so is their other one, the one with the girl who sounds like she's about to sneeze

"Closer" isn't awful, but it isn't great either - I'm just baffled by how a song so hookless has been so successful

that's just the magic of the music industry at work

It's better than "#SELFIE", that's for sure.

Debuted at #32 this week. 34 million views and counting. From their Christmas album. This is a Christmas song now. Merry Christmas!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRP8d7hhpoQ

What do you call it when five people do a melisma at the same time?

lol I thought that was going to be from Handel's Messiah and said to myself "Yeah, that's kind of Christmasy by its very nature."

that Pentatonix video makes me want to die.

it also led me to this cover of Jolene (presented by Cracker Barrel), where you can literally hear within 1 second the difference between Dolly's incredible voice and the bland whimpering of five mayonnaise human cue balls: https://youtu.be/oYCoyUxY2HY

welp, congrats thread: you killed Leonard Cohen

And now I'm looking through today's releases and noticed that the poor man's Nickelback, Theory of Dead Man, have just released a cover of Hallelujah as well.

As if 2016 didn't suck enough already, we can expect an even greater flood of "Hallelujah" covers now.

watch-arcade-fire-cover-hallelujah-bill-murray-cubs

Listening to the playlist for the first time. Feel like it really got on top of me last year when poll time rolled around.

My worst album so far is Zonkey, by Umphrey's McGee. It's a mash-up album, so at least it's timely.

WARNING: Contains an interpolation of a song that you've probably heard a billion times, but maybe never knew the name of, and really don't need to hear in a pop song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5qWnG5RQTk

(Heart & Soul, from 1938, in case anyone else was trying to place it but didn't want to go through the pain of having to listen again to check)

(Bea Wain due to celebrate her 100th birthday next year, BTW, hope nobody plays her the Train song)

It's the first song you learn on the piano

oh man

Our society truly is crumbling beneath us

omg my jaw dropped

Is there some context here that I'm lacking, or something super offensive in the lyric that I'm missing, 'cause this just sounds like the same old Train shittiness to me.

Maybe they'll follow it up with something based off of Minuet in G.

lol at "play that song"

Playlist is updated for the month.

Jesus fuck that Train song

Spin's shitlist.

Only one I remember hearing is Timberlake, which I don't think is that bad at all.

we should do a year end poll i think.

Nah, 2016 was bad enough already.

okay, i'm convinced

i'm glad the trend of publishing year-end worst lists for singles is picking up now

we should do a year end poll i think.

+1

Somebody make it happen if you want.
Playlist is put to bed now, added the SPIN picks.

ILM's Rolling Worst Songs 2016 Spotify Playlist

Can we just award it to Seven Years?

i am more inclined to go with that ghostbusters theme

Have we mentioned Robbie Williams' 'I Love My Life' yet? Because honestly fuck off mate, how's anyone supposed to relate to that?

^^ I've thought about posting that one to the thread several times, but (luckily) forgot about it once I was on ilx again. It's excrutating. Whenever it pops up on the car radio or in a shop it drives me mad.

It breaks my brain trying to follow his thought process: 'Oi imma make a song about how I love life, drown it in cliches, that must be a bonafide hit amirite guys?'

It's like that 'hope I'm old before I die' song he did years ago that effectively inverted and toned down the Who. i remember my dad being incredulous - 'that's not very rock'n'roll!'

Dog Latin, so awful. My friend asked me to join her to his gig. No thanks.

Party like a Russian is in the SBIG / accidentally prescient box though

Normally, calling the new year's thread overdue at this point would be laughably premature, but 2017 has already seen two new Ed Sheeran singles.

You Didn't Want It, You Didn't Ask For It; The 2016 ILX Worst Song Poll