Il Douché and His Discontents: The 2016 Primary Voting Thread, Part 4

She is also batshit crazy, so don't count anything out just yet: http://gawker.com/search?q=katrina+pierson

Maybe he found skidmarked undies

ugh, this is going to be very ugly for everyone on both sides, isn't it

Why wouldn't she have spoken up by now?

You had sex with Ted Cruz. Would YOU want anyone to find out?

We hadn’t been airborne long when Trump decided to watch a movie. He’d brought along “Michael,” a recent release, but twenty minutes after popping it into the VCR he got bored and switched to an old favorite, a Jean Claude Van Damme slugfest called “Bloodsport,” which he pronounced “an incredible, fantastic movie.”

a Jean Claude Van Damme slugfest called “Bloodsport,” which he pronounced “an incredible, fantastic movie.”

Fuck it, he's got my vote.

Wonder if some people will hear "Katrina Pierson" and think of the B-52's.

OTM about Bloodsport.

ted doesn't seem particularly loyal to the republican party, certainly not when it conflicts with his own goals. so presumably he thinks refusing to back trump-as-nominee would be a political misstep

what does he have to lose by saying 'fuck that guy, he insulted my wife, i will never support him'?

it's hard to understand. i thought maybe it's bc he wants trump to agree to endorse ted if ted wins but a) ted is not going to win outside of hijacking the convention in which case there's no way trump will endorse him and b) why does he think trump will keep to his word?

Cruz wants establishment backing ergo he needs to demonstrate party loyalty, that's all there is to it

Cruz isn't Mitt Romney. I think there's a population of rich establishment people who are fundamentally comfortable with HRC being president even if it's not their choice. But I feel like Cruz much more comes from the group of people who think of people like Clinton and Obama as literally actively trying to destroy the country. The people who think Clinton had Vince Foster murdered (or at least: well, probably not, but it's plausible) and who think Obama is enthusiastically trying to hasten the caliphate. My guess is that Cruz probably authentically would rather have Trump as president than Clinton.

I can't help thinking of the old Franken & Davis political-ad sketch on SNL where they shoot each other.

Wow. CNN has two women on right now, one from Cruz's side and one from Trump's, and the Trump woman says "We have to move on," and then proceeds to say to the other woman (paraphrase), "For instance, you've been named as one of the five women who've had an affair with Mr. Cruz--if you deny it, we can move on." The CNN moderator has to intervene.

I am having a hard time picturing Cruz having extramarital dalliances. I mean how many women could there possibly be that are into banging Gramdpa Munster.

the rumor i heard was escorts?

"Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac" -- Hillary Clinton's friend.

please god let there be a ted cruz sex scandal

good to know donald trump is around if we need someone to stand up for marital fidelity and respect for the women in one's life

instead of terrifying and depressing this election is going to be terrifying and nauseating

is this being reported anywhere other than national enquirer and conservative blogs?

man what else do you need??!?!

same national enquirer writer who broke tiger woods + john edwards i think?

Starts with the Enquirer, I believe. Dicey, obviously, but the John Edwards' story was theirs.

lewinski scandal was broken by the enquirer too iirc

i can remember a weird week of limbo where cable news had to gingerly say "well, a lot of people are talking about this enquirer story..."

weirdly i just looked at drudge's twitter for nostalgia's sake and he has... only 3 tweets? did he start deleting them in solidarity with whatever rightwinger said he was getting censored?

yeah, i know they've broken legit sex scandals before, and i wouldn't be shocked if it were true, i just expected to see more about it the usual internet places, and there's nary a mention of it, although now i guess i'm seeing little snippets that mention it, , , , , , ,

editors are trying to keep their breakfast down maybe?

In the CNN exchange I posted above, the moderator was momentarily aghast: "Wait a minute, we haven't reported anything about this..."

Not today, anyway--I'm sure they'll be all over it tomorrow.

nothing on NRO

happy Good Friday y'all!

nothing on NRO

well no shit

anyway i guess i'm interested in ted cruz' sex life to the extent that it stands in contrast to his standing as the candidate that was anointed by god (who is of course monogamous, having maintained its sexual relationship with its godlover for eternity while commanding followers to stay faithful, which is a bit hypocritical since an omniscient and eternal god has experienced the most intense sex and infinite amount of times, from all possible subjects and perspectives, but that's not weird at all), and so might lead to a fall from whatever grace he managed to achieve with his bible friends, then his dropping out of the campaign.

aside from voting for Bernie in 25 days, i think i shall withdraw from this event. carefully and without slippage.

new superpac name idea: guardians of the seed

aside from voting for Bernie in 25 days, i think i shall withdraw from this event. carefully and without slippage.

― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Friday, March 25, 2016 12:26 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0kAf8wwKX0

new cybermetal band name idea: betrayers of the seed

Pretty clearly, Cruz has had sex on the brain for a long time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vt-vG_TdOT4

xpost AD&D-based "gold box" computer game, surely

i wonder how his dad will react

are politicians actually more prone to adultery or is it just that they're more likely to be both hypocritical and found out

Power swells them.

hehehe

aside from voting for Bernie in 25 days, i think i shall withdraw from this event. carefully and without slippage.

― we can be heroes just for about 3.6 seconds (Dr Morbius), Friday, March 25, 2016 4:26 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

When I read this, I couldn't help thinking about the clip you posted in the "Hail Caesar!" thread featuring excerpts of Jerry Lewis's "Errand Boy" - for God's sake be careful!

TOO DEEP FOR ME, but thx

https://twitter.com/johnfund/status/713396047188475904

Trump surrogate Adriana Cohen on CNN debating ex-Cruz aide Amanda Carpenter Suddenly accuses her of being
Cruz mistress. Stop this MADNESS!

@daveweigel
Cruz also navigates around the term ratf**ker: "Donald may be a rodent but I have no desire to copulate with him."

Let the MADNESS get MADDER!

Here's the clip:

http://www.mediaite.com/tv/trump-supporter-derails-cnn-segment-by-accusing-fellow-guest-of-having-an-affair-with-ted-cruz/

Bolduan expressions are pretty hilarious in those clips.

Let all the poisons that lurk in the mud hatch out.