Rolling Worst Music of 2016 - Making That Meghan Trainor Money

i mean yeah it's more that she's essentially acting as a jargon-spewing colonizer in a time when women who came up in r&b can't even get traction in their own format, let alone pop

The horn bit isn't offensive. The rest, though...

So... Lukas and the Grahams are stars now? Should we be proud of them? I've always thought of them as "dweebs" rather than "rotters", but it's quite an odd success story. UK number 1, U.S. #3 but U.S. sales #1... That disparity is easily explained, as "7 Years" has the kind of wise wise message that demands to be downloaded or vinyled. AND it's got an original sound not heard since Daniel Powter's "Bad Day". (Not sure where they ripped off the piano line from... Something wise anyway.)

"Work from Home" is appalling shite, and therefore very thread-appropriate. That cheery denialism that Katherine talks about is pretty depressing, at least when heard in isolation. Apparently Fifth Harmony were a lot more conscious of gender relations (or less naive) on their previous album?

Iggy Azalea's "Team" - well, it's encouraging that there was clearly no ghostwriter involved, but printing all the lyrics in the video not a good idea on this song. The backing track and the dancing are great – maybe the vid should've just been those. The rest isn't even as good as the Funny Girls comedy rapping that Iggy both inspired and tried to emulate.

It was posted a while ago, but Say Anything seems like a very interesting artist. He raises big questions, like "How can the guy stand to listen to his own voice, let alone record an entire album?" A fine achievement. Further research could be carried out, but it's not advisable for anybody.

The Uber song, uh, let's just say I don't get any of it, including the title. Is it worth explaining?

Really can't be bothered worrying about yet another pathetic "Large Penis" song. It's even listed as a genre on Apple Music nowadays.

wasn't there another russian song bragging about big dick a few years ago? google is unsurprisingly turning up other things so i'll probably never find it again. i don't remember it being as bad as the one upthread.

Playlist updated up to end of March:

ILM's Rolling Worst Songs 2016 Spotify Playlist

just putting this here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVGRN7Z7T1A

infuriating from the very first syllable

For some reason on second listen the song doesn't seem that bad?

gotta set the score right / callin' Hans Zimmer

lol

This came "recommended" by Oshun, who have either lost their minds or had their Soundcloud page hijacked to cross-promote, er,

"HighClass Bling" by Infinitee (Co-Prod. by Proda, well done Proda)

Horribly sung and seemingly written by stringing together a series of angry tweets, I fear this becoming huge:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnugCpTmJE8

Putrid

Kiefer Sutherland is a country singer now:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7lUCghDJ7w

Lol

He's made an album, sadly it's 24 hours long.

Not enough whiskey to make that garbage sound good

I am so used to the fact that when i go into a shop some barbarous pointed garbage will pierce my soul and immediately start draining out the serenity and serotonin which thankfully is restored by trees, canal and sky relatively quickly, that i was unprepared for todays horrendous attack, the sound of a man being sick on my shoes while a dizzying putrid seasick smell starts to make the head wooze with distress, who would do this and why would it be in a public place? 'fuck you you fuck me over' the voice said, it said it many times, as the runny sick pooled all over the floor. Not for me, Clive, absolute garbage in any place

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqZ93tpSRgA

What kind of shop you were in where this was playing? lol.

I'm not trolling. This really does suck.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5b48zpQlLDI

What kind of shop you were in where this was playing? lol.

It was a coffee shop, I dont normally go in coffee shops, and hadnt been in this one before. Is it strange for this piece of garbage to be played in public? I dont remember what came before or after it while i wsa queueing, so I cant give more context about their choices

Hey, do you think that elementary school book report I did would make a good song?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuHdkSj5nGc

Fuck you, song.

I feel like I've been posting a lot to this thread this year, but at this point I think my personal criteria for posting should be "is this worse than, or at least as bad as, 'Lost Boy?'"

Wow, "Lost Boy" is really boring. And it's so long. I guess she was praying we would all get younger while listening to it. Billboard has wrongly called it "The Strangest Hit Song On The Please Click This".

HOWEVER, there are mitigating factors:
1. At least there's no ukuleles
2. I had just listened to "Fucked Over"

"Fucked Over", that's some true no 1 contender shit. Is it a kind of "Hotline Bling" rip-off, or is it some separate angry genre that's sprung up?

Nice as it is, to hear a worse version of "HighClass Bling" mixed with Baby Dic, but what you get is actually very annoying, sadly. (Oh wait, there may be a bit of Eamon's "Fuck It" in the mix too. The sweary bit.)

did you all notice that all the worst hits of this year have come from white artists egregiously co-opting black music? (counting lukas graham here because its wikipedia page calls the band 'ghetto-pop')

i mean i chalk it up to the whitening of pop radio in large part but still, ugh

vanilla ice in the conference room

if "lost boy" is to be considered one of the worst hits this year based on chatter in here, that is actually an example of a black woman singing a song that fits into a largely white-identified idiom

i have no idea what 'lost boy' is and have not heard it (i'm talking about trainor, g-eazy, 'seven years,' puth, etc.), although a glance at my local pop station's playlist would indicate that it's in rotation. and oh dear:

She eventually posted it, and the reaction was immediate: people wanted more. She started to add lines in Vine-able increments. “I would finish studying, come down stairs, and add a line to the chorus,” she explains. “In a week, I had a chorus, so I decided I should turn this into a full song and take it to YouTube.”

The result, built six seconds at a time, is a beatless piano ballad. Chords hang in the air, never pressing on top of each other. Ruth occasionally climbs into falsetto, but the track doesn’t have much movement or drama. Although it’s about finding friends, Ruth sings alone, and this isolation is emphasized by an echo effect. Her Neverland is a place of complete liberty -- “lost boys like me are free” -- and the singer avoids taking sides in the frequently violent squabbles that divide the island’s characters in the original story: “Peter Pan, Tinker Bell, Wendy darling, even Captain Hook/ You are my perfect storybook.”

http://www.billboard.com/articles/columns/pop/7334174/ruth-b-lost-boy-hot-100-hit-finding-neverland

hoo boy this ... yeah

that song is like some kind of balladry degree zero.

I get that there are a couple of novelties going on with this song that some people are finding worthy of discussion, but I'm still smdh @ something this amateurish actually getting airplay and warranting analysis.

lol, this is straight garbage

Playlist updated up to end of April:

ILM's Rolling Worst Songs 2016 Spotify Playlist

two car trips w top 40 stations in the last two days means i've been exposed to 'seven years' twice now. probably the most grating pop radio song i've heard since 'hey brother' but it's so deeply lodged in my skull so i feel like i've heard it 50 times already. the only joy i get from it is the goofy-ass non sequitur of "i made a man so happy when i wrote a letter once". like i get what he's saying but it (and the whole song really) sounds like a small child telling a story, so hearing that line makes me laugh and offers the smallest respite.

tried to listen to this ruth b song twice and both times i forgot it was playing, which means it's infinitely better than lukas graham who i just learnt also sung that mama don't like you song, god i hate him/them so much.

no, 'mama don't like you' is bieber.

(it's called 'love yourself.')

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcyFJLrBVhA

wow

I'm sure genius.com has an extremely helpful annotation for the 'scroot scoot' noise he makes, but...I'm not sure if I'm ready for that knowledge

lol, this is currently #7 on the itunes chart:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duXnGGGjKlA

http://www.famousbirthdays.com/people/jacob-sartorius.html

Jacob Sartorius Popularity

# 4
Most Popular Person

# 1
Instagram Star

# 1
13 Year Old

it's typical Ark Music Factory shit, except he already has legions of adoring (unironic) fans, and the inevitable backlash (like this reaction video, which got 1.5 million views in two days) is only going to drive his own subscriptions/views counts. I doubt anyone involved in its creation believes it's a good song, but that's beside the point — 3 minutes of white noise with this kid's name attached to it would have produced an identical reaction.

('vanity singles by internet stars' would be a good thread concept, but I can't think of that many)

haha, look up 5quad

lol, I love how half the audience knows every word of this song and the other half only knows the 5-second clip they heard on vine/'musical.ly'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEWz6MTNhXs

"Fucked Over" deleted from Youtube? Is nothing sacred

https://soundcloud.com/770rd/fucked-over-prod-ducko-mcfli

The fact that someone called Jacob Sartorius had a song titled "Sweatshirt" sounded very promising, until I heard it. It's a hand-me-down of a hand-me-down. He can still regain some important musical cred if he names all of his songs after garments, in increasing order of intimacy when he's reached a more mature age. (That's probably the plan.) On a less relevant note, why did Vevo allow the song to be remixed by a coked-up Noel Gallagher? Really makes that embed painful.

haha, look up 5quad

It's, it's like Michael Jackson on a budget
https://youtu.be/cMnbZ4AU60k

http://www.npr.org/2016/04/20/475025719/sister-sparrow-the-dirty-birds-tiny-desk-concert

lol holy shit

He can still regain some important musical cred if he names all of his songs after garments, in increasing order of intimacy when he's reached a more mature age. (That's probably the plan.)

Jacob Sartorialist

did you see this video though?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMTAUr3Nm6I

my ears say no, my eyes say no.

Sounds like she's downplaying her hat voice and trying for a more basic pop voice.

sounds like 2000

Yeah, very good point. It's still retro/flashback, down to the silver trench coat.