Il Douché and His Discontents: The 2016 Primary Voting Thread, Part 4

i had to do several google searches to figure that out

http://gawker.com/ted-cruz-implies-hed-fuck-a-rat-as-long-as-it-wasnt-don-1767113389

have to admit this headline made me lol

Stone's fourth book Jeb! and the Bush Crime Family was released by Skyhorse Publishing on February 16, 2016

i'm waitin for the movie

not kidding! not sure I've come across that name before

xp

man, dailykos has removed at least two stories on the cruz affairs. wtf?

Woman #5 is... The Daily Kos

#thething

it's roger stone shakey

More than you wanted to know about Roger Stone:

Others have noted that he wears a diamond pinkie ring in the shape of a horseshoe, in 2007 he had Richard Nixon's face tattooed on his back,[3] he owned five Jaguars as of 2007, and he also owns five Yorkshire Terriers.

http://gawker.com/people-have-been-talking-about-the-thing-with-ted-cru-1767029781

seems like there might be some kind of sex tape.

Rick Wilson ‎@TheRickWilson
Dear media outlets in possession of The Thing; I know you're scared about legal. Have an intern post it on YouTube and then "discover" it.
5:15 PM - 11 Mar 2016
197 197 Retweets 238 238 likes

I'd have sex with Ted Cruz if it would resurrect Nixon as a prisoner of Monica Crowley's so he can prognosticate on the election and nothing more.

in 2007 he had Richard Nixon's face tattooed

this is next level

yeah like no one in the current GOP has Reagan tats

Priceless: "Ted Cruz's problem with the National Enquirer is his and his alone, and while they were right about O.J. Simpson, John Edwards, and many others, I certainly hope they are not right about Lyin' Ted Cruz."

cruz you rascal. the only way for him to survive this is to channel his inner bill clinton, play it off as something that makes him more likable if anything.

― Treeship, Friday, March 25, 2016 2:07 PM (25 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This campaign is on its way all the way to the bottom. "Who's getting more pussy now, Donald?"

yeah RS is kinda like an SCTV ratfucker character

In January 2008, Stone founded Citizens United Not Timid, an anti-Hillary Clinton 527 group with an intentionally obscene acronym.

In February 2010, Stone became campaign manager for Kristin Davis, a madam linked with the Eliot Spitzer prostitution scandal, in her bid for the Libertarian Party nomination for Governor of New York in the 2010 election.

also may be deeply closeted

or not so deep

just when you thought things couldn't get any wackier

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/a4/d8/6a/a4d86aeb108e88e67c8020b9f90055b0.jpg

god bless murica

Maybe it'll be revealed it's his wife who has had five affairs. Def. jibes with the "anyone but Cruz" vibes.

This election season is so fucked up I can equally imagine Cruz and Trump being felled for sex tapes, the former for having something he shouldn't and the latter for boasting of something he lacks. Though god knows Trump has tapes. All kinds of tapes. What is that weird fetish with people stepping on small mammals? He probably has some of those.

that's a terrible thing to say about marco rubio

feel like trump has vorarephilia

I have no idea whether or not the cover story about Ted Cruz in this week’s issue of the National Enquirer is true or not, but I had absolutely nothing to do with it, did not know about it, and have not, as yet, read it.
Likewise, I have nothing to do with the National Enquirer and unlike Lyin’ Ted Cruz I do not surround myself with political hacks and henchman and then pretend total innocence. Ted Cruz’s problem with the National Enquirer is his and his alone, and while they were right about O.J. Simpson, John Edwards, and many others, I certainly hope they are not right about Lyin’ Ted Cruz.
I look forward to spending the week in Wisconsin, winning the Republican nomination and ultimately the Presidency in order to Make America Great Again.
- Donald J. Trump

Drudge broke Monica Lewinsky after Newsweek scuttled David Itzkoff's story. Surprised to see nothing on his site about the Cruz sex scandal.

despite evidence to the contrary (his children) i refuse to believe ted cruz ever had sex w/ anyone, so this scandal doesn't rly track

Lol shakey

What was that thing we talked about in an earlier thread, the very particular mindset of late 80s debate/forensics club types at Princeton getting all hawt & wett from the prospect of Young Ted, and his ability to just crush massive p because of it?

https://c.o0bg.com/rf/image_960w/Boston/2011-2020/2013/11/10/BostonGlobe.com/National/Images/cruz-big-1642.jpg

Just drenched in it

https://www.princeton.edu/paw/archive_old/PAW99-00/10-0223/4768-cnfcruz.jpg

His clenched, grunting face right as he finishes off in your roommate when you get back from practice

well that was unpleasant

This story suggests Rubio's campaign is behind everything:

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/03/25/ted-cruz-affair-rumors-peddled-by-marco-rubio-s-allies.html

Trump's "tiny fingerprints" made me laugh. Trump will now set his sights on The Daily Beast: "I assure you there's nothing small about my fingerprints. I have very large fingerprints, terrific fingerprints."

lol yeah the "tiny fingerprints" aside is great

https://twitter.com/politico/status/713474676765417477

trying to figure out what the kid over his right shoulder is doing at the end lol

well that was unpleasant

― Οὖτις, Friday, 25 March 2016 21:34 (14 minutes ago) Permalink

looooooooooool
https://twitter.com/RichardDawklns/status/672302448535564288

I know I'm gay and I think everyone is gay but Cruz has the mien and attitude of a guy whom you'd find fucking your male roommate and afterwards threatening to report you to the RA on a minor infraction as a way of keeping you both quiet.

Well, in the cigar photo, look at the word he's putting a check mark next to.

Clearly he was pro-Bush at the time.

yeah well I don't think he likes bush very much

Sundquist is the one

that's a fake account shakey

my bad

i've seen chatter on twitteronia that there's some big story that might damage cruz and trump that the media is sitting on but it's only chatter, idk
― arts and crafts THIS GUY (daria-g), Tuesday, March 15, 2016 9:45 PM (1 week ago)

i guess this might be it? last week i was going through twitter conversation w/hashtag #thething (ok also because it was full of gifs/references to best horror film of all time) and trying to figure out what exactly they were talking about

what doesn't make sense to me yet is that the *reason* supporters of rubio were talking about it was principally about damaging trump and cruz was more like collateral damage if they were lucky. i take it all with a big grain of salt because most of it was regular people's wishful thinking that a big scandal would destroy the other candidates since their guy was losing. and even the few comments coming from those who were professional operatives were.. they've heard about whatever-it-is but did not personally have evidence. so why did trump hire the spokesperson he did, who used to work for cruz? odd.

greatest horror movie of all time: TS cruz sex-tape vs. the thing

http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrwp8n8QML1r3awg7o1_500.gif

Talking about today's news on the weekly NPR roundup, David Brooks sounded like he wanted to cry. EJ Dionne called him out as one of many Republicans who didn't loudly decry Trump years ago for being a jackass. Granted, Brooks is a pussy, but why would any person even pretending to be sensible want to identify as Republican? I get it, in theory, in a vacuum, but what does the party offer at this point? Is it just a cynical matter of "and from the right .... " employment? Because all of the principles these so-called principled Republicans stand for have long been flushed.

If david brooks didn't identify as a republican he wouldn't have a job

Josh, did you read Brooks' column today

ime (i live in the area where he went to high school) there are a lot of these coastal [often jewish like brooks] republican types whose families signed onto a kind of entrepreneurial genteel aspirational conservatism that has its entire own world of magazines + journals (commentary and post-buckley NR) and has basically been able to insulate itself from the ongoing disintegration of the GOP into madness. a close friend was one of these types and already in 2008 we were having conversations about what palin meant for his kind of republicanism and he really didn't want to hear or think too much about it and then by 2012 he was independent but i think still voted for romney and now i assume he'll be voting for hillary bc the candidates on offer are really repellant to this type. this election it has really come to a head and i've been hearing a lot of "i don't know what i'm going to do" just sad head shaking and like "i can't vote for clinton can i" from at least a few ppl.

@dick_nixon
Johnny thinks the Yankees will come calling if he can just get the bat off his shoulder.

dick_nixon's first good line itt