Rolling Worst Music of 2016 - Making That Meghan Trainor Money

Fuck you, song.

I feel like I've been posting a lot to this thread this year, but at this point I think my personal criteria for posting should be "is this worse than, or at least as bad as, 'Lost Boy?'"

Wow, "Lost Boy" is really boring. And it's so long. I guess she was praying we would all get younger while listening to it. Billboard has wrongly called it "The Strangest Hit Song On The Please Click This".

HOWEVER, there are mitigating factors:
1. At least there's no ukuleles
2. I had just listened to "Fucked Over"

"Fucked Over", that's some true no 1 contender shit. Is it a kind of "Hotline Bling" rip-off, or is it some separate angry genre that's sprung up?

Nice as it is, to hear a worse version of "HighClass Bling" mixed with Baby Dic, but what you get is actually very annoying, sadly. (Oh wait, there may be a bit of Eamon's "Fuck It" in the mix too. The sweary bit.)

did you all notice that all the worst hits of this year have come from white artists egregiously co-opting black music? (counting lukas graham here because its wikipedia page calls the band 'ghetto-pop')

i mean i chalk it up to the whitening of pop radio in large part but still, ugh

vanilla ice in the conference room

if "lost boy" is to be considered one of the worst hits this year based on chatter in here, that is actually an example of a black woman singing a song that fits into a largely white-identified idiom

i have no idea what 'lost boy' is and have not heard it (i'm talking about trainor, g-eazy, 'seven years,' puth, etc.), although a glance at my local pop station's playlist would indicate that it's in rotation. and oh dear:

She eventually posted it, and the reaction was immediate: people wanted more. She started to add lines in Vine-able increments. “I would finish studying, come down stairs, and add a line to the chorus,” she explains. “In a week, I had a chorus, so I decided I should turn this into a full song and take it to YouTube.”

The result, built six seconds at a time, is a beatless piano ballad. Chords hang in the air, never pressing on top of each other. Ruth occasionally climbs into falsetto, but the track doesn’t have much movement or drama. Although it’s about finding friends, Ruth sings alone, and this isolation is emphasized by an echo effect. Her Neverland is a place of complete liberty -- “lost boys like me are free” -- and the singer avoids taking sides in the frequently violent squabbles that divide the island’s characters in the original story: “Peter Pan, Tinker Bell, Wendy darling, even Captain Hook/ You are my perfect storybook.”

http://www.billboard.com/articles/columns/pop/7334174/ruth-b-lost-boy-hot-100-hit-finding-neverland

hoo boy this ... yeah

that song is like some kind of balladry degree zero.

I get that there are a couple of novelties going on with this song that some people are finding worthy of discussion, but I'm still smdh @ something this amateurish actually getting airplay and warranting analysis.

lol, this is straight garbage

Playlist updated up to end of April:

ILM's Rolling Worst Songs 2016 Spotify Playlist

two car trips w top 40 stations in the last two days means i've been exposed to 'seven years' twice now. probably the most grating pop radio song i've heard since 'hey brother' but it's so deeply lodged in my skull so i feel like i've heard it 50 times already. the only joy i get from it is the goofy-ass non sequitur of "i made a man so happy when i wrote a letter once". like i get what he's saying but it (and the whole song really) sounds like a small child telling a story, so hearing that line makes me laugh and offers the smallest respite.

tried to listen to this ruth b song twice and both times i forgot it was playing, which means it's infinitely better than lukas graham who i just learnt also sung that mama don't like you song, god i hate him/them so much.

no, 'mama don't like you' is bieber.

(it's called 'love yourself.')

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcyFJLrBVhA

wow

I'm sure genius.com has an extremely helpful annotation for the 'scroot scoot' noise he makes, but...I'm not sure if I'm ready for that knowledge

lol, this is currently #7 on the itunes chart:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duXnGGGjKlA

http://www.famousbirthdays.com/people/jacob-sartorius.html

Jacob Sartorius Popularity

# 4
Most Popular Person

# 1
Instagram Star

# 1
13 Year Old

it's typical Ark Music Factory shit, except he already has legions of adoring (unironic) fans, and the inevitable backlash (like this reaction video, which got 1.5 million views in two days) is only going to drive his own subscriptions/views counts. I doubt anyone involved in its creation believes it's a good song, but that's beside the point — 3 minutes of white noise with this kid's name attached to it would have produced an identical reaction.

('vanity singles by internet stars' would be a good thread concept, but I can't think of that many)

haha, look up 5quad

lol, I love how half the audience knows every word of this song and the other half only knows the 5-second clip they heard on vine/'musical.ly'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEWz6MTNhXs

"Fucked Over" deleted from Youtube? Is nothing sacred

https://soundcloud.com/770rd/fucked-over-prod-ducko-mcfli

The fact that someone called Jacob Sartorius had a song titled "Sweatshirt" sounded very promising, until I heard it. It's a hand-me-down of a hand-me-down. He can still regain some important musical cred if he names all of his songs after garments, in increasing order of intimacy when he's reached a more mature age. (That's probably the plan.) On a less relevant note, why did Vevo allow the song to be remixed by a coked-up Noel Gallagher? Really makes that embed painful.

haha, look up 5quad

It's, it's like Michael Jackson on a budget
https://youtu.be/cMnbZ4AU60k

http://www.npr.org/2016/04/20/475025719/sister-sparrow-the-dirty-birds-tiny-desk-concert

lol holy shit

He can still regain some important musical cred if he names all of his songs after garments, in increasing order of intimacy when he's reached a more mature age. (That's probably the plan.)

Jacob Sartorialist

did you see this video though?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMTAUr3Nm6I

my ears say no, my eyes say no.

Sounds like she's downplaying her hat voice and trying for a more basic pop voice.

sounds like 2000

Yeah, very good point. It's still retro/flashback, down to the silver trench coat.

silver trench coats were a thing?

I can't think of any off the top of my head, but if you went back in time dressed like that no one would notice.

Oh, here we go.
http://photos1.blogger.com/img/39/2594/1024/missy.1.jpg

Ugh

two years in a row for meghan winning the poll, huh

'No' isn't at all original or inspired, and her voice is still annoying, but it's still significantly less annoying than her previous work - a 3/10 rather than a 0/10, and there is a lot of other 3/10 stuff out there.

Xp: obviously she's still making some of the worst music, but you may have stacked the deck by showcasing her in the thread title.

she is an axiom of bad music.

her new single "me too" makes "no" look like a masterpiece

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVFwuq44UTQ

Oh wow. Where'd you find that?

lmao

something something RHCP something gamergate something

recommended for this thread by ilxors on facebook:
Spraygun War (featuring Joshua Todd and Stevie D of Buckcherry) - "OMG"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWXCNVlYbbE

it's not very good.

that's more sad than bad (though it's very bad).

twenty one pilots are awful

― maura, Monday, February 15, 2016 3:11 PM (3 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Despite the Stressed Out song, I went back to listen to their album this morning because I was reading an old Hayley Williams interview where she mentioned them briefly. I made it about 30 seconds into the opening track.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hts6PzULHSY

why do i not hate Stressed Out as much as everyone else

Because your name isn't Blurryface and you don't care what we think?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahwQhkvMFuI

well that was annoying.