Yngwie Malmsteen finally breaks silence in moronic interview

The toilet paper was as rough as sandpaper, and vodka was the only drinkable beverage. I don't like cold weather and bad food. Whenever people complain about living in Florida, I tell them to go to Russia.

http://www.cgtv.com/entertainment/images/smirnoff.yakov.jpg

HEH HEH HEH!

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Yngwie: "That is why it is called Yngwie Malmsteen.

2000 yrs from now, those cds/cd players will def. still be working, oh yeah. i can't help but imagine those giant guitars outside Hard Rock Cafes sticking out of the ground half-buried, like the Statue of Liberty in "Planet of the Apes"

good god, he comes off as a total nut here. he even starts quoting monty python at the end.

Yngwie: Very well put. Yes, that is how I look at it. Mozart wrote a lot of operas.

No shit!

ok this had my fucking hysterical at my desk for around three minutes

Not a day goes by where I don’t say to myself, "How the fuck did I manage to pull this one off?" I am from an obscure country – I am from fucking Sweden.

THE GENERAL PUBLIC
DOES NOT PLAY GUITARS.
THEY SHIT, EAT, FUCK AND GO TO WORK.

http://theimaginaryworld.com/tic543.jpg

Also, in 7th Grade my Guitar Nerd friend John thought Yngwie was the G-R-E-A-T-E-S-T. I don't know if he owned anything, though.

http://lead-zepp.cool.ne.jp/p5016ym/17alcatrazz.JPG

The 10,000,000,000 note solo career that came next has been unlistenable. But you have to hand it to the guy -- he can play those major scales (see above) FAST. It's like having a 15" dick and then being interviewed about it -- like he's Obi Kenobi or something.

YM: I am detached from everything. I'm not part of anything. I'm not part of heavy metal. I'm not part of guitar heroism. I'm not part of anything at all. In fact, I'm not from the same planet. I am completely detached from everything.

"Our website is dedicated to Metal. Heavy Metal."

David T. Chastain?

Marty Friedman solo album?

Stu Hamm?

Paul Gilbert?

I got a Joe Satriani VHS at a bag sale last week. ($2 for a grocery sack of paperbacks = I love the country). And I watched it. Amazing that this character had platinum albums, and played to HUGE crowds around 1991.

But as I've been saying for years: It's no stupider than the Xecutioners or Invisible Skratch Pickles or what have you. Pure technique largely abstracted from music and revered with Jedi-like intensity.

On the strength of "I'm not part of anything at all" I just d/l'd an Yngwie track called "Arpeggios from Hell" -- I recommend it. What's the opposite of pointless wankery? "Pointful wankery."

OTM.

Hero and god. We had a promo ID of his at KLA. We then trashed it with editing and it became a popular comedy bumper.

Jojo Mayer!

I don't know why he hasn't released a cd EVER, but the video on his site is ridiculous.

Alright, I'm gonna give this guy exactly 2 minutes of my time. YSI it.

http://www.bloodyrich.net/sugartime.html

There was also another single on Ringer's Lactate.

The path between Yngwie J. Malmsteen's Rising Force and Swans contains 7 steps:

Yngwie J. Malmsteen's Rising Force
Marching Out, 1985

1.Jeff Scott Soto
Boogie Knights, Welcome To The Jungle Boogie, 1997

2.Doug McRoy
White Flag, R Is For Rocket, 1982

3.Bill Bartell
Sawed Off, You'll Be Taken Care Of, 1993

4.Dale Crover
Melvins, The Bootlicker, 1999

5. Kevin Rutmanis
Cows, Cunning Stunts

6.Shannon Selberg
The Heroine Sheiks, Siamese Pipe

7.Norman Westberg
Swans, White Light From The Mouth Of Infinity, 1991

i will spam this message all over the internet unless my demands are met.

Long live Mayhem!

i owned Trilogy (the one where he's fighting a dragon on the cover) that I ordered from Columbia House on cassette when I were a lad.

solid record except for when he breaks out the nylon strings, dude really gives the nylon strings a hard time

Lol at tab at about tenth post.

dude treats his fretboard like a jimmy johns sub iirc