Friday the 13th: Jason Goes to POLL

just watched VI. it was fun.

"what WERE you gonna be when you grew up?"

Yeah, one of my all-time favorite lines!

1=low-budget boilerplate
2=boring, half-flashback
3=inept mess. Lots of action in a tool-filled barn?
4=my fave, good Savini FX, sort of scary-ish (for the series) at times?
5=pointless, no Jason, sort of the Psycho II of the series.
6=funny, self-aware. I read the novelization (!) when I was little. Chops off the heads of three paintballers at once?
7=can't remember. Telekinetic girl? Does this one have the sleeping bag kill?
8=NYC? A complete POS. Shot in Vancouver?
9=Goes to hell? Only one I saw in theaters. Some dude eats a heart and turns into Jason? It does have a clever opening scene.
10=space. Never saw it.
11=vs. Freddy? Is this the one directed by a Hong Kong guy? Want to say I saw it but barely remember it. Battle in a corn field?
Reboot: really cool opening conceit, don't remember the rest. (Want to say My Bloody Valentine reboot had a similar opening conceit?)

how bad do these parents gotta hate their kids to keep sending them to this damn camp

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvVNfQDXnPo

I was half watching these things last week with the sibs while drinking beer and after spending the day at Disney World. Pretty much the optimal way to see them, imo. The depictions of city life in Manhattan are spectacularly hilarious (the heroine is kidnapped and shot up with heroin within minutes of the protagonists making landfall).

i just watched them all except for freddy v jason and imo:

6
4
1
2
goes to hell (i can't believe this movie exists)
x
manhattan
7
reboot
5
3

this series is way more dependable than Nightmare, btw

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Sunday, October 24, 2010 3:53 PM (six years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

That's just empirically false. Nightmare has three great films in the series (the first, third, and New Nightmare), part 4 is somewhat entertaining (and directed by Renny Harlin and written by Academy award winner Brian Helgeland), and part 2 is brilliantly campy. Parts five and six are the only out and out stinkers.

― sounds like Dream Theater (J3ff T.), Sunday, October 24, 2010 4:06 PM (six years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

whiney from 6 years ago is right, there's an evenness to this series that nightmare does not manage, and characterizing nightmare 2 as "brilliantly campy" is giving a shitty movie with some gay parts wayyy too much credit

I agree Friday 6 is best, 4 second best, rest are degrees of shit, save the like three fake out meta intros of the reboot. Which then turns to shit.

basically for me it's

Friday 1 - fun if not generic, off-brand feeling (the ending is hilarious)
Friday 2 - never has watching kids get hacked up been so fuckin boring
Friday 3 - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Friday 4 - zzzzzzzzzz O FUCK FELDMAN IS CRAZY AT THE END also lol Crispin Glover
Friday 6 - fun and enjoyable, w/ funays, but not amazing or anything
Jason goes to hell - everybody who made this should be killed

all others - haven't and won't see em

These movies are pretty much garbage, but they had consistently good man-candy.

even NOES 3 is better than the best Friday (tho NOES 3 is actually p good, especially the scene w/ Freddie's nun mama)

tho "the bastard child of a thousand maniacs" annoyed me, like that's not how biology works, all their sperm didn't congeal into a crowdsourced baby

well unless he was a chimera i guess

noes 3 is better than any friday and is one of the best movies ever, yes

NOES is the better series, it's true, but I had a wicked good time watching a marathon of that Friday trash with my sibs last Halloween. It's working its charms on me.

And NOES 4 is better than NOES 3. I wish the world would just wise up and get behind me on that one already.

I wish the world would just wise up and get behind me

o i bet u would

i turned off NOES 4 after chica's boyfriend died in the accident.

Freddy's Dead: The Final NIghtmare, I made it to the Arnolds' cameo

Boyfriend dies in 5, which is not good.

derp - i guess I don't remember which one IV is then other than I know i didn't finish it either.

N1 is properly original and scary.
N2 is batshit and kind of grim (maybe the equivalent of Friday V?)
N3 and N4 are Hollywood slick and entertaining and actually exhibit some continuity in terms of character/story (iirc). Plus ... Dokken song?
Don't remember much about the rest, really.

Like F4, it's a peak of competency, with excellent Savini FX, and quirky actors/scenes. Same for F6, plus humor (tho minus Savini FX) and a solid attempt at closure. Plus ... Alice Cooper song? The worst Friday movies, basically the rest, are borderline inept, but particularly 3(D), Goes to Hell and NYC. Goes to Hell has a sort of funny meta-intro too, iirc, though not as ambitious as the reboot.

NSFW
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CmPPt6xk_I

don't particularly understand the ambitious qualities of the reboot's intro. they just dispatch an entire group of teens in the first 20 minutes

jason getting blown up in goes to hell is awesome and hilarious

I only saw the reboot once, whenever it was, but iirc it starts out with a pretty standard campfire scene, followed by a Jason massacre. Then it turns out *that* is a campfire story being told by a contemporary batch of counselors ... who are then slaughtered themselves. Then it turns out *that* is something of a flashback, and it jumps to the current story, at which point we get opening credits, like, 15 minutes into the movie. They do something similarly clever with the "My Bloody Valentine" reboot, iirc.

Then it turns out *that* is a campfire story being told by a contemporary batch of counselors

that is NOT what happens

it starts off in black and white telling the abbreviated story of part one, then shifts to the teens who are looking for giant weed plants in crystal lake, who get slaughtered, then it shifts to jared padalecki and the other group of teens

Sure set *me* straight! Which is the one where that person is stabbed with that thing?

The Care Bears Movie 2

That's the one that starts with the flashback, right? That's the one where we find out how the Care Bears became the Care Bears?

No, that's the third one. The second one is where the Care Bears blow up the Death Star.

Spoilers, dude, I only saw the first one.

If Parts 2, 3 and 4 are supposed to take place on subsequent days, then which of those were on Friday The 13th?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_f0ELRcgCo

only 2 iirc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbzF3NN_7aA

I guess I didn't vote in this because I would've voted for Goes to Hell.

glad to know someone else on earth who likes goes to hell

that movie is a diseased dick tbf

no accounting for taste

lol soz but as soon as the medic took a big ole bite out of Jason's heart I knew it was gonna be a long 90 minutes

binge watching these now, up to VI Jason Lives.

So far I'd say 4 was the best due to more interesting characters.

V is an utter joke.

I am liking this new and improved super Jase in VI so far.

totally confused as to how Jason got to NYC though.

there's a boat

yeah, I wasn't sure how the small boat got from the lake to big boat. Guess there's some kind of river.

jason isn't generally constrained by the laws of physics by that point in the series

Doubt it will stay up long, but some psycho edited all of the movies together into one sort of coherent 85 minute movie that has every victim/camper converge on Camp Crystal Lake at once to be picked off at a crazy clip:

https://vimeo.com/289599739?cjevent=0f5e55b1ca8711e8837d01b30a240614

ok so 3-8 are all on prime and what do i have better to do with my life than rewatch the friday the 13th movies for the 2918290049th time?

but this time i came away really loving vii: the new blood. it's deeply flawed and was sliced and diced in order to get an r rating... yet it rocks??? probably the only movie in the series where there's a stronger antagonist than jason in the mix (dr. crews, the worst gaslighting piece of shit man in the world!!!!) which makes the dynamic sooo interesting; jason kinda becomes this subconscious response to one's life and pain being exploited constantly by abusive men. practically a horror essay in and of itself!

sleeping bag death forever

i also like part v now! it's so sleazy and mean and yet... the free range halfway house for teens with mental illness is a v weird place for jason to murder a bunch of people, it kind of reminds me of dream warriors for some reason? i normally don't spend a lot of time identifying with the people jason murders but in v i basically feel them all (except for the hillbillies) (god what a fucking weird movie)

lot of objectively lame things about the movie like the twist and ending with tommy jarvis' second heel turn in two movies, but i loooove the character of traumatized tommy jarvis regardless, if anything the worst tommy is part vi's horn dog dumbass who accidentally resurrects jason by impaling his dead body with a large metal pole, we all saw that one coming tommy (i love him too don't worry)