Jesus Fucking Christ: evangelical bigwig opposed gay marriage "because it takes the dirt and danger out of clandestine sex with rent-a-men"

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Man, and I thought Kinkade was bad enough.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:56 (seventeen years ago) link

now, Ned, has the Painter of Light ever graced us with something as precious as this:

http://www.blackshearonline.com/members/AardvarkCatalog/9990237947668/image3.jpg

kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:59 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.blackshearonline.com/members/AardvarkCatalog/9990237330213/image3.jpg

I want one!

(I'm not sure of the wisdom of having 'BO' on all his images.)

M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 3 November 2006 17:59 (seventeen years ago) link

wtf is a Kente Claus?

Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 3 November 2006 18:01 (seventeen years ago) link

An excellent niche marketing opportunity?

How do cherbim keep their little pudenda-hiding scarfs from falling off? Is it angel magic? The power of faith? Tiny boners?

M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 3 November 2006 18:04 (seventeen years ago) link

Hold me closer, tiny boner.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 3 November 2006 18:04 (seventeen years ago) link

Black Santa Moses has come to save us all and bring us Star Wars figures!

kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 18:18 (seventeen years ago) link

So, Things Haggard has now admitted to:

1) Arranging to purchase Meth.
2) Arranging to get a Massage from grandpa-escort.
3) Arranging to meet in a hotel room for above two items.

Things Harrard has not yet admitted to:

1) Gayness
2) Extramarital Sex

researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 18:50 (seventeen years ago) link

ok here we go, something's up: guys like Jerry Falwell are going on CNN, denying ever knowing the guy.

Also, that the David Kuo guy is a lying worm to dare suggest that the Faith-Based office was nothing but a whorehouse of apparatchiks.

kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 18:51 (seventeen years ago) link

SOMEONE PLZ TO YOUTUBE THIS CLIP

Here you go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6rSjrBhUIA&eurl=

Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Friday, 3 November 2006 18:57 (seventeen years ago) link

oh fallwellpaws

Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:02 (seventeen years ago) link

How charming.

M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:02 (seventeen years ago) link

these guys are like serial killers - they WANT to be caught, the thrill is in the transgression, etc.

Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:02 (seventeen years ago) link

I really can't wait till that film gets to DVD. I grew up in a (comparitavely moderate) Evangelical community and attended Church Camps (97% good memories).

Is it as good and even-handed as everyone is making it out to be?

researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:04 (seventeen years ago) link

thanks! made my day. all aboard the schadenfreude express! xpost

elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:10 (seventeen years ago) link

"Just because I prefer to get my outcall massages from 49-year-old escorts instead of licensed massage therapists doesn't mean I'm gay."

nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:24 (seventeen years ago) link

while tweaked out of my mind

and what (ooo), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:26 (seventeen years ago) link

Maybe he has a chronic agonizing back problem that can only be treated by a combination of meth and massage, and the fact that you can't do meth with a legitimate massage has driven him into the shady underworld of non-professional ... massage.

nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:29 (seventeen years ago) link

I want to see a comprehensive breakdown of the dates and times this guy was actually in the White House, just to see if they match up with Jeff Gannon's visits.

elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:30 (seventeen years ago) link

he advocates the laying on of hands, while partaking in the ephedrine of the soil

and what (ooo), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:31 (seventeen years ago) link

Richard Cizik, vice president for government affairs for the evangelicals association, expressed shock.

"Is this something I can imagine of Ted Haggard? No," he said.


i love how theres always some dude who says this - yeah i dont spend alot of time imagining a wrinkly old dude getting teabagged in some econolodge neither!!!

and what (ooo), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:33 (seventeen years ago) link

id love for them to ask somebody from his church or whatever and hes like 'yeah i gotta say, ive imagined ted haggard fucked up on crank getting his balls sucked by a grandpa plenty of times'

and what (ooo), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:34 (seventeen years ago) link

MIKE JONES ON MSNBC RIGHT NOW!!!!

researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:35 (seventeen years ago) link

That'll be in the bonus features on the Jesus Camp DVD, I'll bet.

Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:35 (seventeen years ago) link

(xpost)

Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:35 (seventeen years ago) link

PRETTY HOT FOR 59 TOO!!!

XPOST

researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:36 (seventeen years ago) link

ROFLZ

Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:36 (seventeen years ago) link

Haha wait he bought meth from the gay escort, but apparently "HE NEVER USED IT."

Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:37 (seventeen years ago) link

"I was just buying it for uh a friend Dick Cizik."

Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:38 (seventeen years ago) link

"AND AS FAR AS 'JUST A MASSAGE'... WELL, IF THAT'S WHAT HE WANTS TO CALL IT, THAT'S UP TO HIM"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:39 (seventeen years ago) link

DIDNT REALIZE WHO HAGGARD WAS UNTIL HE SAW HIM ON DISCOVERY CHANNELS SPECIAL ABOUT THE ANTICHRIST!!!!

researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:41 (seventeen years ago) link

pwn3d

and what (ooo), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:41 (seventeen years ago) link

am I alone in kinda sorta hoping that there actually IS a gay cabal out to undermine the religious right...? that after years of being scapegoated and being used as a wedge issue maybe some angry fags got together and said "allright, this election cycle = PAYBACK TIME".

Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:42 (seventeen years ago) link

"TYPICALLY $200, THERE WERE TIMES HE WOULD GIVE ME A LITTLE EXTRA!"

researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:43 (seventeen years ago) link

just as long as you dont hope their next mission is raping the shit out of rachel ray

and what (ooo), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:43 (seventeen years ago) link

how would that advance anyone's political cause?

Sam rides the beat like a bicycle (Molly Jones), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:44 (seventeen years ago) link

Haha

Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:44 (seventeen years ago) link

Mike Jones is Grade-A man meat for a 59 year old hooker.

researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:47 (seventeen years ago) link

Haha isn't he 49?

Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:49 (seventeen years ago) link

omg I so ashamed of running joke abt rachel ray between me n the wife

Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:50 (seventeen years ago) link

49. sorry. Def. hot for 49 though, too.

researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:52 (seventeen years ago) link

http://slacktivist.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/mike.jpg

media/blog coverage:

-from Time Magazine

-Reaction from the guy who wrote that Harper's piece

-my usual go-to-guy for stuff like this, who mentions that Haggard was one of the guys who supported the fundies running amuck at the U.S. Air Force Academy(also located in Colorado Springs, where I almost attended)

-Dan Savage and here

kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:55 (seventeen years ago) link

omg I so ashamed of running joke abt rachel ray between me n the wife

???

kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 19:58 (seventeen years ago) link

awesome!

Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 3 November 2006 20:02 (seventeen years ago) link

(ethan's ref'ing a post of mine on the thread about TV chefs for no apparent reason)

Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 3 November 2006 20:04 (seventeen years ago) link

The portrait of George Washington there has no comment.

kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 20:04 (seventeen years ago) link

glad something came along to boot Kerry offa the headlines

Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 3 November 2006 20:07 (seventeen years ago) link

unfortunately, no TDS/TCR tonight, which their writers must be kicking themselves over, since this story will probably be overtaken by whatever happens next by sunday/monday.

kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Friday, 3 November 2006 20:12 (seventeen years ago) link

remember katrina-gate happening when they were on vacation for a week?

researching ur life (grady), Friday, 3 November 2006 20:31 (seventeen years ago) link


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