Justice, too, has a Sense of Humor - The Rolling OJ Simpson Legal Thread

as in so many thing, alfred, you are the exception which proves the rule

you can always seek sanctuary with k-lo and the gang on the national review's cruise ship!

Daily seminars featuring NR's editors and guest speakers;
Two "Night Owl" sessions;
"Break out" policy sessions;
Three revelrous cocktail receptions;
A late-night "smoker" featuring world-class H. Upmann cigars;
Intimate dining on two evenings with a guest speaker or editor.

'intimate dining' with jonah goldberg, resplendent in his formal cargo shorts

Clearly Florida's fate is an advancing coastline that relegates it an island, with Disney/Orlando at the center. Disney/most people prolly cool with that. Atlanta gets to be the new Redneck Riviera. Other swamp people can move to Oklahoma or something.

Alfred excepted, of course. He can stay at the top of Cinderella's Castle and beam, Sauron-style.

The Island of Disney

Never thought I'd watch the mini-series, but a station here was rerunning the whole thing over the weekend, and when I stopped on a few minutes midway, it actually seemed to be well done. So I went and bought a bootlegged DVD this afternoon.

First episode pretty shaky--lots of yelling. The part where Shapiro asks O.J. point blank if he did it; did that actually happen? I thought that question was verboten among criminal defense lawyers, that it was just a distraction to preparing a defense. Or does it vary from lawyer to lawyer?

My #1 Guilty Pleasure on television (which really means Embarrassed Pleasure--such things never actually make me feel guilty) is Pawn Stars, which I always stop on when flipping around. I find some of the items interesting, and the phony pretense of the show kills me--if the bald guy knew even half as much as what's scripted for him, he'd have either won a million dollars on Jeopardy! by now or he'd be a Harvard professor in the I Know Lots About Everything department.

On an episode playing this afternoon, O.J.'s Bronco turned up (A.C.'s Bronco, technically--the one from the chase). I recognized the guy trying to sell it (Mike Gilbert) from the documentary. Obviously the whole thing was scripted; he didn't just show up one day looking to sell it. When asked how he happened to have the Bronco, he explained that he was O.J.'s agent at the time, and he took over ownership when he found out that some outfit was trying to buy it with the intention of using it for tours on the same L.A. freeway where O.J. fled. This was great: he thought that was "classless" and intervened. Line I wanted to hear next: "That's why I'm here today trying to sell it on Pawn Stars to you and your son, a guy named Chumley."

He asked for $1.3 million. The store passed.

wtf lol

I killed her

— O.J. Simpson (@TheReaIOJ32) June 15, 2019

I fuckin knew it

Could someone just please go punch Mark Fuhrman in the face for us?

Is that really OJ's account?

it says right there ‘therealoj’, it’s illegal to impersonate someone on twitter iirc

i’d kill for some pussy RN

— O.J. Simpson (@TheReaIOJ32) June 15, 2019

Even if the account is a fake, I still stand by my first reaction.

I’m amazed how an imposter can say with such 100% accuracy what O.J. is thinking

"If I tweeted this"

I killed her

Spoiler alert!

No one is gonna take OJ seriously after this

the white bronco chase was 25 years ago today

*turns on TV*

I was 10, was so mad that my mom made me go upstairs to bed before it was over for no apparent reason, took me years to realize that she didn't want me to see Nordberg from Naked Gun blow his brains out