Bah Humbug - The Elf on the Shelf

If I've learned anything from the movies this year, kids love festive charlatans holding red balloons.

if i saw that i would run screaming out of the goddamn house

https://i.imgur.com/8nOJ4eK.jpg

"Daddy, it's hugging me too tight!"

https://i.imgur.com/98RZREq.png

Note to any social media marketers out there: When the comments on your post are nothing but people tagging other people, you have struck gold, my friends.

Ok, Ronan Farrow. Good one.

https://i.imgur.com/EaZ02ci.jpg

Heroes.

https://i.imgur.com/6d2q87m.jpg

That's all I've got... for now.

https://i.imgur.com/F0IXwoX.jpg

That dummy survelliance camera is just a ruse to get all the younguns USED to being MONITORED all the time so the MAN can get away with the ORWELLIAN STATE

I love the picture of the kids jumping with joy that there's now a camera watching them

https://i.imgur.com/j8fPh7U.jpg

Poor guy

Dinovember is what we do instead, we just have dinosaurs doing goofy stuff and causing "trouble" every morning she thinks it's cute

Those kids are jumping for joy on the bed! This is a clear breach of household rule #34 and must be punished. Too bad they chose to enact their criminal deeds under the watchful eye of Dummy Surveillance Camera!

https://www.thecut.com/2017/08/cognition-builders-family-intervention-parenting-help-adhd.html

For God's sakes, let's not bring Rule #34 into this.

At a friends house and who do i see walking in but this fux0r hanging from the curtain

That cognition builders story, wtf

(xps to Karl Malone) David Bowie's "The Barfing Gnome"

https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/120204164_625933848316217_1136268561088120593_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&_nc_sid=110474&_nc_ohc=vF540pjFlwkAX_5tWUG&_nc_ht=scontent-sjc3-1.xx&oh=5a2489bc23b23c98d8fc6a9f6572bfa7&oe=5F95BD90

When the link dies: An EotS skeleton made out of chicken bones, with barbecue sauce on it. Text: "The elf was delicious, had the cookies for dessert. Thanks! Santa"

I guess that's ketchup, not BBQ sauce.

For hope in national politics, one must still look toward Georgia:

Robert Leonard, a judge in metropolitan Atlanta, is doing what he can to stop the tyranny of the Christmas tradition of “Elf on the Shelf,” issuing an order banning the tiny creatures from sitting and spying, then dropping lumps of coal in the stockings of mischievous kids in Cobb County.

tackling the important issues

He’s got my vote!

You will hide when I say you must hide
Elf on the Shelf

I was born for spying!