I have a game for you grinders:"Desert BusDesert Bus is the best known minigame in the package, and was a featured part of Electronic Gaming Monthly's preview. The objective of the game is to drive a bus from Tucson, Arizona to Las Vegas, Nevada in real time at a maximum speed of 45mph, a feat that would take the player 8 hours of continuous play to complete, as the game cannot be paused.The bus contains no passengers, and there is no scenery or other traffic on the road. The bus veers to the right slightly; as a result, it is impossible to tape down a button to go do something else and have the game end properly. If the bus veers off the road it will stall and be towed back to Tucson, also in real time. If the player makes it to Las Vegas, they will score exactly one point"
I'm not asking as a rhetorical put-down on grinders -- I genuinely want to know the limits of what you are willing to put up with from a game, specifically these games, because I think it might be possible to modify them for the purpose of extending the distance between you and the collosumuses.
― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 20 May 2009 19:00 (fifteen years ago) link
um, dude, I gave you percentages. you're moving into troll territory now.
― im drunk so no forks (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 20 May 2009 19:02 (fifteen years ago) link
"um, dude, I gave you percentages. you're moving into troll territory now."
As much as I'd like to make a game mod to cater to one dude, I'd like get a few more stats before making the attempt. But yes, I was thinking primarily of shortening the game before people responded in the opposite direction.
― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 20 May 2009 19:06 (fifteen years ago) link
BTW I have no idea how to go about doing this without seriously breaking the game. The last time I tried doing this it was just hex-editing some dungeon RPG which would give you insane stats but would crash randomly.
― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 20 May 2009 19:16 (fifteen years ago) link
I honestly think removing all the in-between "exploring the world" parts of Shadow of Colossus would break it. If all you want is boss battles and nothing but, you're better off with a flash game.
― im drunk so no forks (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 20 May 2009 19:20 (fifteen years ago) link
I guess the main point is that this game is not for dudes with short attention spans who crave 'stats'.
― Your heartbeat soun like sasquatch feet (polyphonic), Wednesday, 20 May 2009 19:27 (fifteen years ago) link
the scenery was pretty, the ambient sounds are great, keeping your eyes peeled for fruit and white lizards is fun and honestly it doesn't take that long to find your way through, 3-5 minutes maybe? even on the maze-y ones. i have no idea wtf ur complaining about, fuck outta here with this bus to vegas bs
― Swat Valley High (goole), Wednesday, 20 May 2009 19:28 (fifteen years ago) link
The 3-5 minutes are especially long if you are watching someone else play. In fact, the more craft the game employs at conveying vast wastelands, the more excruciating it is.
BTW I am all about the grind -- I ended up playing Super Mario Bros solely for the endless underwater world, but that game doesn't foist the grind on you as mercilessly as this game does.
"this game is not for dudes with short attention spans who crave 'stats'."I'd be happy to remove the score and lifebar meters if you think this will enhance the game. To me the lifebar feels particularly redundant since the game already offers you plenty of feedback re: relative health, and I'm not sure what the score is supposed to represent anyway.
― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 20 May 2009 19:55 (fifteen years ago) link
Since when is there a score on the screen?
I'm fine with getting rid of the lifebar meters as long as the game replaces it with something that makes sense, but that was a small concession that I was willing to deal with, and the lifebar disappears most of the time.
― Your heartbeat soun like sasquatch feet (polyphonic), Wednesday, 20 May 2009 20:01 (fifteen years ago) link
i like slow movies too
― s1ocki, Wednesday, 20 May 2009 20:11 (fifteen years ago) link
when are we gonna get a bela tarr xbox tie in, i ask u
― Swat Valley High (goole), Wednesday, 20 May 2009 20:15 (fifteen years ago) link
bela tarr game will be on ps3; hi capacity bluray innit
― zinguist (cozwn), Wednesday, 20 May 2009 20:41 (fifteen years ago) link
other famous director's slow game:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/c/ca/Takeshi_no_Chosenjo_boxart.png/256px-Takeshi_no_Chosenjo_boxart.png
"Completion of the game requires several unorthodox uses of the Famicom system, such as using the second controller microphone to speak while playing pachinko, or not touching the controls for 60 minutes. "
― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 20 May 2009 20:47 (fifteen years ago) link
What is a game you enjoy so we can shit all over it.
― Your heartbeat soun like sasquatch feet (polyphonic), Wednesday, 20 May 2009 21:03 (fifteen years ago) link
um... ducktales?
― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 20 May 2009 21:15 (fifteen years ago) link
you mean FUCKTALES, the famed spanish shit machine?Fuck that game. Fuck it in the BEAK.
― im drunk so no forks (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 20 May 2009 21:20 (fifteen years ago) link
(actually i like ducktales)
― im drunk so no forks (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 20 May 2009 21:21 (fifteen years ago) link
(yeah it's pretty good)
― Your heartbeat soun like sasquatch feet (polyphonic), Wednesday, 20 May 2009 21:21 (fifteen years ago) link
oh you mean suck tales
― s1ocki, Wednesday, 20 May 2009 21:22 (fifteen years ago) link
i assume you're referring to duck fails
― Ømår Littel (Jordan), Wednesday, 20 May 2009 21:22 (fifteen years ago) link
My childhood is in tatters!
― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 20 May 2009 21:25 (fifteen years ago) link
in the BEAK
― im drunk so no forks (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 20 May 2009 21:47 (fifteen years ago) link
holy mackerel @ that video!!!!
― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 24 May 2009 23:15 (fourteen years ago) link
pretty sure it's a griffin or a cat not a mackerel
― zinguist (cozwn), Monday, 25 May 2009 00:41 (fourteen years ago) link
you guys
― zappi, Monday, 25 May 2009 00:56 (fourteen years ago) link
The 3-5 minutes are especially long if you are watching someone else play.
not sure how this is relevant tbh, most games are pretty boring if you're not the one doing the playing.
― juniper jazz (haitch), Monday, 25 May 2009 01:57 (fourteen years ago) link
i'll concede that SotC might have been better with elegant puzzles in the terrain, a la Tomb Raider, rather than the long horseback rides. but that would have been a different game. the horseback rides gave the game a kind of simple, innocent purity that i appreciated. the pleasure simply of going. but then again i'm a guy who actually likes cutscenes, so...
― Tracer Hand, Monday, 25 May 2009 20:53 (fourteen years ago) link
^^ hate cutscenes but agree with this
― s1ocki, Monday, 25 May 2009 22:12 (fourteen years ago) link
"the horseback rides gave the game a kind of simple, innocent purity that i appreciated. the pleasure simply of going."I have no problem with aimless wandering as a choice, and in fact I play many games in this fashion (mario series, tetris, some racing games [perversely trying to evade the invisible barriers that prevent you from going backwards]) I have no problem with cutscenes either so long as you can skip them. Have you ever played that caligraphy ps2 game? LONGEST UNSKIPPABLE INTRO EVER.
"not sure how this is relevant tbh, most games are pretty boring if you're not the one doing the playing."It's especially relevant when you're not the one doing the playing!
― Philip Nunez, Tuesday, 26 May 2009 00:57 (fourteen years ago) link
go read a book!
― juniper jazz (haitch), Tuesday, 26 May 2009 01:13 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.amazon.com/review/R1J4ZPKVXGB3X2/ref=cm_cr_rdp_perm
― cozwn, Thursday, 28 May 2009 21:55 (fourteen years ago) link
omg
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 29 May 2009 10:22 (fourteen years ago) link
the camera angle makes me feel as though he has suspended me from his ceiling and is slowly torturing me by telling me his reviews of videogames he's played
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 29 May 2009 10:23 (fourteen years ago) link
Put a shirt on for crissakes.
― Your heartbeat soun like sasquatch feet (polyphonic), Friday, 29 May 2009 16:11 (fourteen years ago) link
comments are hilaire
― Swat Valley High (goole), Friday, 29 May 2009 16:13 (fourteen years ago) link
He's got a pretty sweet video review of God of War 2 up as well.
― like a beautiful doll containing a canister of flatulence (circa1916), Friday, 29 May 2009 21:19 (fourteen years ago) link
WATCHING MOVIES- SINCE I WAS A CHILD I HAVE ALWAYS ENJOYED A GOOD MOVIE AND WHAT IS FUNNY THAT I ALWAYS HAD SUCH A LIKEING FOR FILMS AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE WHILE MY FRIENDS WAS OUT PLAYING I WAS HUDDLED IN FRONT OF THE TV WATCHING OLD B/W FILMS OF THE 30'S UP TO THE SIXTY'S , I JUST COULD NOT GET ENOUGH, CLASSIC-DISNEY-HORROR-SCI-FI , I WOULD WATCH ANYTHING EVEN THE CHEESEY STUFF, UNTILL I FOUND MY CALLING IN THE VIDEO BUSINESS I WOULD USE MY SKILLS OF WHAT PEOPLE SUCH AS MYSELF WOULD FIND ENTERTAINING I DID WELL AT THIS FOR 7 YEARS A BUILT VIDEO STORES AND WATCHED THE ONE'S THAT HAD NO PASSION CLOSED, WHEN I CAME UP WITH RENTING NINTENDO 1 YEAR BEFORE IT HIT, I KNEW THAT I SHOULD BE WORKING FOR MYSELF MAKING BETTER THINGS HAPPEN FOR MYSELF, I HAVE HAD SOME SET BACKS BUT IM ON THE RIGHT PATH TO GET BACK TO WERE I WAS, THIS AMAZON IS FOREVER.
― like a beautiful doll containing a canister of flatulence (circa1916), Friday, 29 May 2009 21:22 (fourteen years ago) link
That guy should have people with bloodied limbs trying to escape from his basement in the background. Would definitely be better than SAW. Would rent.
― Philip Nunez, Friday, 29 May 2009 21:27 (fourteen years ago) link
this amazon is forever
― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 2 June 2009 17:03 (fourteen years ago) link
Boy, that kid got debrowned in a hurry. Still, looks like I'm getting a PS3.
http://penny-arcade.com/images/2009/20090608.jpg
― Andrew Farrell, Tuesday, 9 June 2009 22:30 (fourteen years ago) link
HILARIOUS!
― s1ocki, Tuesday, 9 June 2009 22:35 (fourteen years ago) link
talking to my pal travis.
Travis: i hope it's something like it has to leave to become a guardian and fulfill its noble bullshit destiny or something Travis: so it's still depressing but at least it's not horrible Will: it's called the last guardian, dude Travis: i know Travis: that's what i mean Will: do you know what happened at the end of the last mohican?
― Aieritating vowele syndroume (Will M.), Tuesday, 9 June 2009 22:36 (fourteen years ago) link
he got a haircut?
― man saves ducklings from (ledge), Tuesday, 9 June 2009 22:48 (fourteen years ago) link
from the neck up, yes.
― This Ace of Base is driving me crazy (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 10 June 2009 04:58 (fourteen years ago) link
So over the holidays I picked up something called a "Playstation 2" and spent the last month playing through Shadow of the Colossus. Just completed it.
So this game was pretty goddamn amazing. From the outset, I was drawn into its calm, foreboding world. Felt like I was undertaking Herculean labors - both sentimentally in theme and in frustration - but the whole experience was really inspiring. Easily one of the greatest of its generation. Definitely up there with Killer7 as a groundbreaking, emotional experience in the medium. Lots of love.
― Nhex, Monday, 8 February 2010 09:30 (fourteen years ago) link
Ico is also v. v. good.
― toastmodernist, Monday, 8 February 2010 09:53 (fourteen years ago) link
wtf? today i heard on this news thing that 15% of japans students are addicted to the internet/games. and i see this shitty looking game and im very confused how this is possible. no action just for wimpy men who have no.. how should i put this.. balls so to speak. games are supposed to be exhiliraing. like sex. now take the new alien vs predator. great graphics hopefully frightening and blood/gore. that is a game. not some child running around with this wierd ass homosexual bird thingy throwing stones at samurais in stone armor? seriously. what the fuck.
― antexit, Monday, 8 February 2010 13:40 (fourteen years ago) link
^^^to be read out loud in a booming Austrian accent.
― dog latin, Monday, 8 February 2010 15:10 (fourteen years ago) link
these are both coming to PS3 early 2011, apparently
― progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 29 July 2010 11:24 (thirteen years ago) link
― i'm gonna need a +1 so me & a friend can kick you in the balls (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 29 July 2010 15:32 (thirteen years ago) link