antidepressants - s&d, CoD, evil bitches, cash cows and saviours of sanity

in some sense i honestly appreciate therapy putting the onus on the patient because for me bemoaning the shitty state of the world in general was a pretty decent distraction from dealing with my actual problems (also so many people had it worse than me, etc etc). it's been good for helping me deal with stuff i'm responsible for without guilt and shame getting in the way and fucking up my ability to cope.

i have also found that therapy has been a very good complement to mood-stabilizing drugs and has helped them be maximally effective for me.

At its best it helps you snap out of defeatism. At its worst, however, it impels more guilt: 'So you think you've done everything you can to cope with the eradication of your soul? Well, you need to do more'.

So I kind of hate the psychopharmacologist I am seeing who is attached to my therapist's office. I have been taking the 2 mg of Abilify as she suggested, despite being really wary, and now the positive effects are kind of wearing off and I am left with only the side effects. So I asked if there was a withdrawal from Abilify and she said no. I then looked online and it seems there is a lot of withdrawal associated with it. She suggested I go down to 1 mg per day because I am still having trouble sleeping since I started (I wake up about 4-5 times throughout the night). I originally had more energy but jitteriness and now I feel like I have less energy again and am just am left with the jitteriness I think. She said if I have less energy from it I should go up to 5 mg but she thinks that I don't really want to do that, which I don't.

So all I want is for her to increase my paroxetine dose to 40 mg but she doesn't want to because she doesn't think it is helping me. However, she wants to add 10 mg the week before my period and for me to take birth control so I don't get my period bc now she is sure I have PMDD. She says that paroxetine doesn't help with energy, only depression. But I think if I am less depressed I would have more energy.

She's very combative with me and doesn't listen to what I want and she is super expensive. So frustrating! Has anyone tried going off of Abilify and did you have any side effects?

Also, this woman says she doesn't like paroxetine because it leads to weight gain, whereas in my research it seems Abilify if much more tied to weight gain. I asked her if she could suggest anything else for me and she was like no, because then we would have to taper you off the paxil (?!). So she's basically doesn't like Paxil but has no suggestions for me other than adjuncting with Abilify.

How do you find a good prescribing doc? This woman charges $250 per half hour! Previously I was getting meds from my GP and honestly it was a much better experience, and a whole lot cheaper.

The fact she thinks weight gain is the worst possible side effect is pretty telling

ditch her, she sucks and no one is worth 500 an hour, what the hell?? I'm so sorry

She sounds like someone who is not interested in learning anything new for the rest of her life, because thinking is hard, but being a credentialed 'expert' lets you off the hook for doing any new thinking ever again.

haha, thanks guys! my friend knows someone who takes my insurance so I will try and get an appointment with someone else. she's young too! like in her 30s...

The book Rabbits for Food has some pretty funny commentary on psych meds...the character says no to the exact same thing my psych prescribed to me.

I am a fan of psych nurse practitioners (and NPs in general). For most stuff I would take an NP over an MD every day of the week. Nurses rule.

She is an NP :( Just a very stubborn one. Hi Q!

Paxil seems like bad news, in a new way.

Coupland et al, 2019. Anticholinergic drug exposure and the risk of dementia: a nested case-control study. JAMA Int Med.

Hi VP! Sorry ‘bout your bad NP :(

^^ haha, I mentioned that study to my NP (I had read it in the NYT). She hadn't heard of it, but got very annoyed and said that she didn't know why Paxil should be linked to dementia, unless you ate so much that you got lethargic and didn't move around very much--hence leading to dementia.

oof

boy that is an unfathomably stupid response from a medical professional

So the NP just called me bc my therapist tried to intervene on my behalf and she said, “So, I don’t want your therapy sessions to be taken over by discussing medication.”’ And then she said she would up the Paxil if that’s what I wanted and I said yes and then she said she was on the train and basically implied she was not available to discuss further so I said thank you. She has the worst bedside manner! Hopefully insurance will cover this latest dosage. I feel like she is threatened and angry that I am questioning her judgment. She said nothing about if
or when or how I should taper off the abilify.

I have been taking sipralexa for years. Afraid to go off it. The issues which caused my anxiety have been solved (more or less) but I’m afraid to go off it. :-(((

So I saw the psych nurse for the last time. I have an appointment with a doc who takes my insurance in a month. I stopped taking the Abilify due to side effects and now she recommends Lamictal and Ativan. Thoughts?

Careful with the ativan is my only thought. Benzo addiction is no joke.

Good news for once: Met with a psych my coworker recommended who takes my insurance and he questioned everything the NP prescribed and told me stop taking the Lamictal and to start taking Wellbutrin on top of the Paxil and see how it goes. If it goes well he said we can lower the Paxil and up the Wellbutrin. He's still ok with me taking benzos to sleep, even though I asked him about the danger of it. Glad to be back in the land of on-label usage. The best part about it: my copay was $15. Hopefully my summer of experimentation with legal drugs is coming to a close. Good luck to everyone dealing with this bs! And thanks to those who listened to me whine and offered advice.

Lexapro/Cipralex turning out to be utterly insufficient so far; I felt better for a few weeks and experienced some of the common side effects at the initial dose, but before long both side effects and intended ones fell away entirely. Got my dosage upped and felt no change. Took the step of upping it again and once again feel no different. (We're talking 10mg->15mg->20mg here.) I have a (virtual) consultation with a new doc next week, we'll see how it goes I guess. Did other folks experience a similar arc?

(At that first uppage I asked my clinic doctor if my brain was simply "too powerful", which he did not seem to find amusing.)

friendship ended w lexapro, now zoloft is my best friend*

*remains to be seen actually

zoloft and i are currently friends with benefits, i also went to it as a rebound from my most recent breakup with lexapro

we're doing ok for now but navigating ltrs with antidepressants is really challenging, i just feel like a lot of them aren't able to make a long-term commitment

as mentioned previously lexapro was nice for a bit but became both emotionally and physically absent very quickly, oh well

time to find out if I get insomnia OR sleep like a log, I love brains

Anybody ever get a feeling like you've missed a pill but you haven't? A few times in the last couple of weeks I've had a low level spacey, zappy feeling, just like I'd missed a day really. Just wondering if this is a thing?

yes get that quite often, slightly wobbly in head. I got one of those pill dispensers with a different compartment for each day so that I can keep it straight (although other health problems contribute more to my day/time confusion)

I definitely took it this morning tho. I hear even a few hours can make a difference and tbh I may have a bug, can't tell what's physical and what's not at the moment

oh I meant that I got the dispenser so I can tell that I did take it that morning even though I'm feeling the wobble. it tends to go away by the next day though. do you get it lasting more than a day?

Nah, just happening on odd days, maybe for a few hours

I could use a dispenser like that

Yes, but as far as I can tell it’s totally random, no idea why it happens

That's why I asked really, not alarmed but good to know other people have experienced similar

Yeah, I get that all the time. I can never remember if I actually did miss a day or not

Same over here. My memory's so bad that I should probably start using my dispenser again but, er, I forget to fill it. (I always thought pill dispensers would make good band merch, I think at least a couple of people have done that but more people should do it.)

I used to get pills with the days printed on the packet but thattlonh gone