Coping with solitude

I don't know you well enough to say if the former is true, but the latter certainly isn't, if the one photo you've posted on the WDYLL thread is any indication. You're cute.

See, there's a bit more to it than that. I was spiralling into a pit of depression, and it was the realisation that I was projecting it onto other people in a pathetic desire for validation (and they made me realise that I was becoming unbearable to be around as a result) that made me realise I need to do something - if I could be a better person to be around, I would have people around who *liked* me, not people who didn't want to dislike me (which is SO different). So I went to the doctor, I said "help, I am unhappy, my life is wrong, I can't cope with stuff" {slight paraphrase} and she gave me anti-depressants and recommended counselling and things and, you know, it got better eventually. I felt better, I didn't feel that all I had to give to people was "please be my friend because I need you to be my friend" - I pulled myself around and became someone in my own right, a person with something to contribute other than misery and guilt. I didn't say "make me a better person" but I knew that I had to become one, and beating the thing that made me unbearable was the way to go.

I guess I sounded glib. I didn't mean to.

In other news, I'm going to just get a t-shirt with "Onimo OTM" on it, so that everyone knows my position on stuff.

Also have you tried herbal remedies (there's a thread about St Johns Wort somewhere, and probably other threads too).

In fact, after my last relationship - where I felt really deprived of time on my own - I took a sabbatical from relationships which I'm still continuing.

The ideal relationship for me would probably be living in separate properties - which some people think is a bit extreme.

I sought out solitude and serenity the last few months and it has been wonderful, but the detritus and nonsense doesnt fades slowly, I still hear the voices of others, the opinions of others, ex-colleagues, people whos houses i stayed at briefly, so many sounds, so many opinions - I am not yet free of them, but these days of not having to interact, not having to engage, ever so gradually I can feel my blood pressure dropping as the voices gradually soften. If i could go 6 months without conversation it would be a dream

I think i chose the wrong thread, but I'm not sure there is a solitude-positive thread

i agree.

solitude can be a necessity in this socially saturated world.

my friends get concerned if i turn down an invite for a social gathering eg. tonight.

but the fact is, there are times i kind of enjoy not having to interact with others.

not sure i could cope with 6 months though.

i am with you. i love people, and too much time along would probably kill me, but i also need several hours per day of solitude. it's a balance.

the OP makes me very sad. i've been single for like, a year and a half and in that time was hoping -- often desperately -- to find someone new. but now i've sort of calmed down and realized that being alone is great. i deleted my dating apps, and now i hope to remain single forever (or at least for another year or so).

just read the OP.

fuck.

yes, i hope ForestPines is OK.

re dating, i think i am against it. like, actively searching -- out of the hundreds of millions of people -- for someone to become this central person in your life seems deranged and quixotic. people pair up successfully because they force things, often, but then the people left behind often feel like they've failed at some central human task, when all they've really done is failed at the impossible. this is what leads to posts like ForestPlains'.

FP was still posting when I joined and that was like at least half a year later, also iirc had a thing going with 'the office goth' then, point stands though, poor soul

FP is still out there*

*footnoting in case you were wondering

Posts under the ForestPines user name stopped in 2007, so FP's ilx participation must be under a new name. good luck to FP, in any event