New Yorker magazine alert thread

"Uh, Jeff? You've got a little penis on your hand there, and I mean little"

might have been extra weird and creepy if he knew the video was off but left the audio on.

Given the fisting story part of me kinda wonders if it wasn't even about dick-in-hand, if maybe they all came back from a break to the full Goatse.

i have no opinion on zoom dick but i do kinda want to know if 'repeatedly asking someone if you can fist them' is an approach that ever actually worked for 2bin

think toobin, rather than zoom, should be liable for the D? Then you get why S230 matters.

— Shoshana Weissmann, Sloth Committee Chair 🦥 (@senatorshoshana) October 19, 2020

one of the funniest things that ever happened to me on a zoom call was during a particularly keyed-up meeting just after covid hit, when zoom calls were still a novelty, and senior leadership were kind of “cascading” comms about what to say to teams yada yada, and with like 1 minute to go a guy i know sends a chat JUST TO ME that says “does this mean i can get back to wanking now?” and i fuckin lose it laughing right as everyone signs off.

in retrospect i’m awed by his trust that the chat was just to me rather than going out to all participants

oh my fucking god https://t.co/A0uliRN6bo pic.twitter.com/Ev74lZQzMw

— Ashley Feinberg (@ashleyfeinberg) October 19, 2020

ok forget i said this sounds like assault, it sounds extremely funny.

Even without the jerking off that call sounds like a nightmare.

lol

... and the stimulation continued.

there's all sorts of ways to show your dick during a zoom call

Um, Karl, you ok?

He meant to type "you're," which makes more sense.

“meet me in the break out room”

Was waiting for this

and people say *i* embarrassed the new yorker

— Talia Lavin (@chick_in_kiev) October 19, 2020

I hope someone is already working on the appropriate Eustace Tilley graphic, in which a Victorian dandy is holding up a monocle to look at Toobin's, um, toob

This feels like a good time to deploy the WHAT ARE THOOOOSE meme

Even without the jerking off that call sounds like a nightmare.

― Donald Trump Also Sucks, Of Course (milo z), Monday, October 19, 2020

haha, yes

The post headline is “toobin his own horn”

I'm not a fan of Toobin but considering this would be an obvious career buster not to mention deeply humiliating...it's probably safe to say this was a terrible accident and shouldn't end the guy's career.

The other account upthread, however...yikes.

I also think it's inappropriate to conflate in one story the account of abuse and his enjoying himself in a sex club, gtfo w/ that

I don't think it's been established that the Zoom call was a sex club.

No, a separate event.

Meanwhile, another source claims that Toobin definitely seemed to enjoy his research in 2008, when he visited the Miami Velvet swingers club while reporting a New Yorker profile about political consultant Roger Stone.

That's bullshit reporting

horny and bad with technology, it's a tough combination

Sorry, I was just amusing myself with the thought of a New Yorker sex club involving election war games.

right over my head!

I am not clear what exactly went down (or up) with Toobin's tube.

But. Am I the only person thinking the following thought? There is a specific personality type for which the risk of discovery is part of the thrill. And the level of transgression is also part of the point. It's adjacent to obsessive-compulsive behavior (though not synonymous).

A sensible person is thinking: why not wait till later? Whereas I think the kink in this case may be more like "Wow this is so risky / so wrong / so dangerous to my position in respectable society."

Not my kink, personally, but applying normal-person logic to it may not work.

psychologizing someone's kinks based on something like this just seems...who knows?

the election simulation is WAY more embarrassing than accidentally (I think) jerking off on a zoom meeting

Toobin's most recent long NY story on the failures of the Mueller investigation reminded me what I liked about his reporting: crisp, well-sourced, able to condense complexity. His book on the 2000 election has the same virtues.

Toodles, Jeff.

yeah

i mean i'm sure masha gessen had fun playing trump but what exactly were they supposed to learn from this

never to trust Toobin's boxers over Zoom

i don't think he was being transgressive, i think he was bored off his ass and thought he was jerking off some other forum, based on the reporting that people thought that *he thought* he was on a different zoom call.

Well, we know what they did end up learning

'harvard guys jack it'

xps:

Seems it was an in-house replay of the Transition Integrity Project's June wargaming of the post-election.

Running a table top exercise always seems at least mildly absurd from the outside. I’d guess they were trying to come up with likely narratives for reporting & commentating on the election so everyone could have an angle heading into the big night.

Perhaps he was actually jacking it while browsing ILXor on a different computer and forgot which was which. Happens to me all the time.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you said this was the erection stimulation call!"

Wanking at the wonkfest

conde nastay

GOLD

lol

Best joke I've seen on Twitter:

New Yorker sub-editors forced to correct every instance of it to "zoömdick".

— Kieran Healy (@kjhealy) October 20, 2020

This thread is gold:

This seems to have been an accident not an intentional act. Of course I would react differently to an in person transgression

— Conor Friedersdorf (@conor64) October 20, 2020

I mean honestly I have rubbed one out in the work bathroom a few times in my life, p sure I’m not a sexual predator. And anyone who refers to being at home as being “at work” just because of WFH can go lick a boot.

Jeff Toobin does in fact have some creepy tendencies but let’s not use that to support some new kind of hyper- capitalist Puritanism.

But have you ever excused yourself early from a meeting just to go do that?