My secret technique for not tipping bartenders and getting good service.

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Mickey, your job is a walk in the park compared to what I did for two years— delivering pizza for one of the large chains. Trust me, the restaurant is at least your turf, try actually going to one of those ghetto motherfuckers' homes. That is, if you survive the trip there. I have been ran off the road, broken down, killed my transmission ($2800 worth of repairs that time), been chased by dogs, chased by people in apartment complexes, threatened (different people, same complexes), etc. A delivery driver literally faces death every time they leave the restaurant, no matter how careful they are. Not to mention the fact that everybody decides to order when the weather's bad and the roads are even more dangerous.
$65 in 10 hours? How much of your own money did you have to spend in gas and car maintenance to refill those patrons' drinks? Not a dime. Try driving over 100 miles a night within the same five-mile radius, that's about $10-15 right there, not to mention brakes, tires, oil changes, and whatever car problem du jour you're going to have to pay for out of your own pocket. Luckily I was never in a serious accident, because I didn't have commercial driver's insurance (it's prohibitively expensive) and I would have been SOL.
Oh yeah, you get 15-20%. I never got that luxury. On occasion, you'd get a customer with some class who'd give a good tip—maybe $5 for a $20 order, but those customers were few and far between. On weekends the local strip clubs would order, if I got that delivery I could expect about $7-9 (in perfume-scented ones, of course), but $1-2 was normally par, whether the order was $10 or $50.
Did I mention the fact that I got robbed while on delivery? You never feel so alone in your life as you do when you've got a gun pointed at you at 10:30pm in front of some self-storage facility located down an isolated back road. At least I wasn't jumped and then beaten for five minutes like one of my former co-workers. So you lose your entire night's tips, at least you're still alive, right?
Keep complaining, Mickey, you don't know how good you have it.
And Adolph, I could lecture you all night trying to raise your awareness, but I'd rather deck you.

naus (Robert T), Monday, 14 November 2005 10:23 (eighteen years ago) link

I don't like the idea of bartenders denying me service because I'm not willing to pay them $1 a drink. So I do what I have to do.

Mr Adolph bin Streisand (Mr_Adolph_bin_Streisand), Monday, 14 November 2005 13:56 (eighteen years ago) link

Adolph is saving all his money to buy edible panties for his daughter's friend.

Nathalie is in Da Base II Dark (stevie nixed), Monday, 14 November 2005 14:06 (eighteen years ago) link

BTW... The barstaff changes enough that it is months before I see the same one twice... assuming they noticed my 'pile trick' in the first place

Mr Adolph bin Streisand (Mr_Adolph_bin_Streisand), Monday, 14 November 2005 14:18 (eighteen years ago) link

i don't tip bartenders, because i'm british.

Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, 14 November 2005 14:19 (eighteen years ago) link

your 'pile trick' may have something to do with why your wife doesn't wanna blow you

Banana Nutrament (ghostface), Monday, 14 November 2005 14:26 (eighteen years ago) link

I was chatting to some American's in a pub a few weeks ago who did not want to be seen to be ignorant about our ways. I said Do Not Tip in pubs, and they looked very very confused. I then explained that barstaff get paid an okay amount and pouring drinks is their joib. They still did not get it. In the end I had to say "They will be offended if you tip them", which whilst not true they understood as a cultural thing.

Pete (Pete), Monday, 14 November 2005 14:26 (eighteen years ago) link

How many punters does a barperson serve in an hour? In a busy bar, assuming they're not making nothing but cocktails, it'll be 20-50, right? And each of these people tips minimum $1?

Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 14 November 2005 14:37 (eighteen years ago) link

not necessarily, and the bar isn't going to be busy all of the time. bartenders i know make wildly varying amounts for different shifts. you might take home $700 on a friday night, but $80 on a tuesday.

lauren (laurenp), Monday, 14 November 2005 14:46 (eighteen years ago) link

that would make them rich, comapred with what uk barkeeps get.

Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, 14 November 2005 14:50 (eighteen years ago) link

I was chatting to some American's in a pub a few weeks ago who did not want to be seen to be ignorant about our ways. I said Do Not Tip in pubs, and they looked very very confused. I then explained that barstaff get paid an okay amount and pouring drinks is their joib. They still did not get it. In the end I had to say "They will be offended if you tip them", which whilst not true they understood as a cultural thing.

WHy would you stop someone doing something that is kinder than what would usually occur?

Nicht, Monday, 14 November 2005 15:21 (eighteen years ago) link

It always feels weird and wrong for me when I'm in another country (where tipping isn't the norm) and I don't tip for a drink.

(so I often end up tipping anyway)

peter in montreal (spaces are allowed), Monday, 14 November 2005 15:31 (eighteen years ago) link

MODZ! HARMFUL SCRIPT POSTED!!!

Mr Adolph bin Streisand (Mr_Adolph_bin_Streisand), Tuesday, 15 November 2005 03:06 (eighteen years ago) link

POKER SPAM1@!@

Jdubz (ex machina), Tuesday, 15 November 2005 03:08 (eighteen years ago) link

Stats for tonight:

9 works of work
39 dollars of tips
7 people I considered murdering

people, tip your fucking servers.

Mickey (modestmickey), Saturday, 19 November 2005 06:26 (eighteen years ago) link

9 hours of work. I'm so furious I can't even type coherently. or something.

Mickey (modestmickey), Saturday, 19 November 2005 06:27 (eighteen years ago) link

Number of people who decided to tip me absolutely nothing, despite having inarguably good service: 3
Number of tables who decided to sit there for hours: 2
Tables in my section: 3
Number of tables who gave me under 10 percent tip: 2-3
Number of people I hate: everyone

Mickey (modestmickey), Saturday, 19 November 2005 06:31 (eighteen years ago) link

Start a blog.

Mugur Simionov (dr g), Saturday, 19 November 2005 06:33 (eighteen years ago) link

A blog about Wolf Eyes?

Baked Bean Teeth (Baked Bean Teeth), Saturday, 19 November 2005 06:39 (eighteen years ago) link

did I miss something?

Mickey (modestmickey), Saturday, 19 November 2005 06:40 (eighteen years ago) link

What does Wolf Eyes have to do with this again?

Mugur Simionov (dr g), Saturday, 19 November 2005 06:53 (eighteen years ago) link

AIDS Wolf what?

Mickey (modestmickey), Saturday, 19 November 2005 06:55 (eighteen years ago) link

Which Chili's do you work at?

Mugur Simionov (dr g), Saturday, 19 November 2005 06:58 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.cheddarsnc.com

Mickey (modestmickey), Saturday, 19 November 2005 07:01 (eighteen years ago) link

I'll take the Triple Treat.

Mugur Simionov (dr g), Saturday, 19 November 2005 07:03 (eighteen years ago) link

one year passes...
brits, we get it, yr cheap bastards. it's kool.

M@tt He1g3s0n: oh u mad cuz im stylin on u (Matt Helgeson), Saturday, 20 January 2007 18:40 (seventeen years ago) link


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