I talk in my sleep. I also once, allegedly, had loud sex dream about female friend my then gf DESPISED.
I really wouldn't recommend that to anyone in a relationship. "What did I say? Oh....right. Yeah I'd be annoyed too. I didn't mean to though. I mean I was asleep. I don't actually like her in that way".
― Ronan, Thursday, 24 January 2008 12:08 (sixteen years ago) link
I had a girlfriend who was pissed at me for a whole day because apparently she had a dream in which I was mean to her..
It's YOUR dream psycho...
― Jarlrmai, Thursday, 24 January 2008 12:28 (sixteen years ago) link
my ex used to have loads of dreams that i was cheating on him, and dreams about being forced to watch me have orgies with like 5 guys. he'd wake up really upset and be weird with me the whole day.
talk about projection - it turned out he'd actually cheated on me.
― Rubyredd, Thursday, 24 January 2008 12:32 (sixteen years ago) link
like kissing the air ultra fast 30 times in as many seconds
Apparently (according to my ex-girlfriend) I did things like this quite a bit. Once I also sat up in bed yelling "BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! BEARS! ... eric ... vellum."
So I wonder what causes the rapid repetition thing.
― kingkongvsgodzilla, Thursday, 24 January 2008 12:55 (sixteen years ago) link
God, my dreams are SOOOOO boring recently. Is it a sign of getting old? I haven't even had sex in a dream for about two years. I'm usually shopping or something. I wish I woke up babbling or something.
― Ned Trifle II, Thursday, 24 January 2008 12:59 (sixteen years ago) link
I've been known to sit up with a start yelling "--aaaat the fuck!"
I famously woke my gf up one night with by groping around the bed. She wakes up and asks what I'm looking for: "Dammit Niki, it's the Cinnabons, isn't it?"
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, 24 January 2008 13:36 (sixteen years ago) link
ruby's last post = whoa nelly, call the head doctor on this dude
― kenan, Thursday, 24 January 2008 14:15 (sixteen years ago) link
i dumped his ass (eventually) instead. believe me - the crazy dreams were just the tip of his insane iceberg!
― Rubyredd, Thursday, 24 January 2008 14:18 (sixteen years ago) link
xpost to myself unless you were somehow dropping hints that you were unhappy with him and what you REALLY wanted was a 5-dude gangbang while he was strapped into a clockwork-orange-like apparatus. That seems a whole lot less likely than him just having MASSIVE issues that not even years of therapy have taught me handy names for.
xpost good girl, that's bad news, right there
― kenan, Thursday, 24 January 2008 14:19 (sixteen years ago) link
i mean, the words for that kind of nuts you don't hear in therapy, you hear on episodes of Law & Order and CSI, know what I mean?
― kenan, Thursday, 24 January 2008 14:20 (sixteen years ago) link
oh yes, i do know what you mean.
― Rubyredd, Thursday, 24 January 2008 15:03 (sixteen years ago) link
OMG, I can't believe I never posted about the time she sat up and said
"BLIMPS...with the EYES"
― Hurting 2, Friday, 23 May 2008 03:31 (fifteen years ago) link
She's entered a hellish realm and has met some now deceased Australian National Party politicians.
― moley, Friday, 23 May 2008 03:46 (fifteen years ago) link
awesome :)
moley to thread: tell me who i'm gonna end up married to!
-- Rubyredd
Ruby, I missed this. Are you still unmarried?
― moley, Friday, 23 May 2008 03:47 (fifteen years ago) link
yeah but not for long...
― Rubyredd, Friday, 23 May 2008 03:49 (fifteen years ago) link
i still love that 'poofy' post - that just cracks me up :)
― Rubyredd, Friday, 23 May 2008 03:50 (fifteen years ago) link
Yeah, that became one of our cute memes. I will slightly embarassedly share that the newest cute meme in our life is something she made up while awake - singing "Kiss and a head-tilt...for you!" to the tune of "Shave and a Haircut" and simultaneously blowing a kiss and tilting her head to the side in the pause.
― Hurting 2, Friday, 23 May 2008 03:53 (fifteen years ago) link
so you should just think about this stuff when you get sad about the stuff on that other thread.
― Rubyredd, Friday, 23 May 2008 03:56 (fifteen years ago) link
http://onesorryblog.files.wordpress.com/2007/06/fursomcover.jpg
― Maria :D, Friday, 23 May 2008 04:15 (fifteen years ago) link
Link please Maria:D?
Tell us about this lucky man ruby - or, spookily, perhaps you'd like me to tell you about him?????
― moley, Friday, 23 May 2008 04:16 (fifteen years ago) link
we'll be getting married primarily for the purpose of a visa, but he's the whole reason i want the visa in the first place. in brief: he's the most awesome person i've ever met in my whole life, in pretty much every way. also: he is a total babe (bonus).
― Rubyredd, Friday, 23 May 2008 04:24 (fifteen years ago) link
www.myspace.com/dionmcgregor
― Maria :D, Friday, 23 May 2008 04:35 (fifteen years ago) link
The other night she urgently called me into the room to ask me, quite cheerfully, "Did the envelope pengalope?"
― Hurting 2, Friday, 22 August 2008 03:48 (fifteen years ago) link
well did it?
― latebloomer, Friday, 22 August 2008 04:07 (fifteen years ago) link
my wife does this, too. encourage it, nighttime lulz are hard to come by.
― Edward III, Friday, 22 August 2008 05:17 (fifteen years ago) link
It's true. Nighttime roffles are scarce indeed. There was one time that I told myself a joke in my sleep that made me laugh so hard I woke up.
― moley, Friday, 22 August 2008 05:49 (fifteen years ago) link
But that was an isolated incident.
― moley, Friday, 22 August 2008 06:29 (fifteen years ago) link
My husband says some seriously funny shit sometimes, cracking me up. I always think, "I've GOT to remember this in the morning" but never do.
― kate78, Friday, 22 August 2008 06:51 (fifteen years ago) link
Alas, I never understand my husband's jokes. He finds'em hilarious though.
― stevienixed, Friday, 22 August 2008 07:33 (fifteen years ago) link
Your poor husband. Or poor you, I'm not certain which.
― RabiesAngentleman, Friday, 22 August 2008 09:03 (fifteen years ago) link
Last night:
Anguished cry from bedroom.
Me, running in: "What's wrong?"
Wife: "Is there bingling?"
...
An hour later:
Call from bedroom.
I go in.
My wife, eyes half open, repeatedly rubs the bridge of her nose with her index finger and puts her finger to her mouth as though tasting something and says "Mmmm"
― Indiespace Administratester (Hurting 2), Monday, 24 November 2008 16:30 (fifteen years ago) link
she's cheating on you
― dat dude delmar (and what), Monday, 24 November 2008 16:35 (fifteen years ago) link
So????
Was there bingling!?!????
― Manchego Bay (G00blar), Monday, 24 November 2008 16:36 (fifteen years ago) link
[Cue guitar riff from "Scorpio" and LL Cool J]
― Ruudside Picnic (James Redd and the Blecchs), Monday, 24 November 2008 17:22 (fifteen years ago) link
has she seen this thread?
― gabbneb, Monday, 24 November 2008 17:25 (fifteen years ago) link
either you stop pengaloping envelopes or there'll be trouble
― J0hn D., Monday, 24 November 2008 17:56 (fifteen years ago) link
Every time I have arranged to exorcise a girlfirend it has ruined our sex. You were wise to resist the temptation.
― Aimless, Monday, 24 November 2008 19:09 (fifteen years ago) link
perhaps you mistakenly had them sexorcised instead?
― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Monday, 24 November 2008 20:04 (fifteen years ago) link
hahahaa
― dat dude delmar (and what), Monday, 24 November 2008 20:05 (fifteen years ago) link
Recent works:
Her: "Cow."Me: "Cow?"Her: "Meow."
---
Her (agitated): "I have to go to the shoe!"Me: "The what?"Her: "The long shoe!"Me: (laughing) "What?!"Her: "The shoe list!"
Just now: a simple, sung "Ah"
― You just got HAPPENED (Hurting 2), Monday, 16 February 2009 03:03 (fifteen years ago) link
You got a good one.
― Nate Carson, Tuesday, 17 February 2009 00:36 (fifteen years ago) link
"The long shoe" sounds like something casinos have to discourage card counting.
― lemmy tristano (James Redd and the Blecchs), Tuesday, 17 February 2009 01:22 (fifteen years ago) link
big or small?
― a transitional transitionalistic woman dat is transitionally great (tehresa), Tuesday, 17 February 2009 01:27 (fifteen years ago) link
They're bingling, baby.
― lemmy tristano (James Redd and the Blecchs), Tuesday, 17 February 2009 01:33 (fifteen years ago) link
This thread restores my faith in humanity.
― swedes put dill on fields of salmon (fields of salmon), Tuesday, 17 February 2009 03:21 (fifteen years ago) link
wife is asleep on the couch
her cell phone rings -- it reads "Parents"
She raises her head, looks at it and says "Parents?! What the fuck is Parents?!"
― eggy mule (Hurting 2), Thursday, 30 April 2009 00:54 (fifteen years ago) link
As long as you're together, you'll never be bored. Congratulations :)
― Nate Carson, Thursday, 30 April 2009 08:40 (fifteen years ago) link
Two nights ago, her head pops out the bedroom doorway -- "The rush Michael tree!"
― the kid is crying because did sharks died? (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 29 July 2009 04:38 (fourteen years ago) link
Tonight - I find out I got a couple of job interviews, I go in to tell her, hoping she might be awake.
Me: "I've got good news!"
Her: "Why does love need news?"
― the kid is crying because did sharks died? (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 29 July 2009 04:39 (fourteen years ago) link
It's a fair question.
― im a fucking unicorn you douchebags (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 29 July 2009 06:06 (fourteen years ago) link