Facebook neighborhood groups are the worst thing ever

He’s also the cousin of a friend who heartbreakingly posted about initially wanting to become a documentarian and his much older cousin giving him loads of time and advice. RIP Cousin Brent.

I'm used to seeing the FB tributes where everyone's saying "So sad," and "It's terrible," while there's some clueless Joe interrupting the thread occasionally with WHAT HAPPENED? and WOULD SOMEONE DM ME AND TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED?

Just not used to seeing the same treatment given to an internationally recognized figure such as B.R.

armed robbery
racism
missing old person suffering from dementia
legal help
urgent request for financial support
robbery
assault
assault with a deadly weapon
tragic report of dead bird

newcomer asking about what if we were to ask the county to install public water instead of well
what do you think should go in the old k-mart building?
package delivered to wrong address
bike left at the playground
loose dog
can we have chickens?
just tried the new mexican restaurant up the street. wetback burrito was delicious. they're actually owned by mexicans so you can say it!
pile of 4xl shirts. barely worn. $250 obo.

Ha! Mine is literally just:

Parking
Dog shit
Covid
Anyone seen my parcel?
Group of kids on bikes
Contact for plumber/electrician/decorator
Repeat and nauseam

https://ibb.co/Qkgy1VK

https://i.ibb.co/m0jfMKc/2-C6-FA48-D-F849-4-AEB-BE39-099288-CABF75.jpg

Holding myself back from responding, but shit like this pisses me off so much. "Hey, wondering if anyone would work for free at my kid's birthday!" Like, would you ask someone to bake you a free cake? Would you ask someone to come decorate your house for the party for free?

Really no point in responding bc no one is ever going to take her up on that - "Yeah sure, I'll show up at some random kid's bday to 'take candid photos'" And honestly, anyone would would say yes to that is not someone I'd want around my kids.

Like, would you ask someone to bake you a free cake? Would you ask someone to come decorate your house for the party for free?

Judging by some of the shit that gets posted over at r/choosingbeggars, there 100% are people out there who would ask for that for free as well. "I know lots of other parents who I can recommend you to if you do a good job!"

But lol yes, I would be deeply concerned about who would take up that offer.

To be fair, they're not saying it's a kid's party in the initial request.

Someone has posted a picture of a cloud they saw yesterday and is implying it looks like the Queen 'flying high to meet her Prince'.

sorry, 'join her Prince'. They've already met.

It does look a bit like the Queen flying like Superman actually. Every time I take another look I find it funnier

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

Imagine if the Queen looked a bit like one of the seven dwarves, and was also a cloud. It's kind of uncanny actually.

I've just seen another Queen cloud via Twitter but it's shit compared to our one

Astonishing moment a cloud resembling Queen Elizabeth floats over English town just hours after she died https://t.co/LLtvpYSKRb

— Daily Mail Online (@MailOnline) September 9, 2022

lol, please share yours, kinder.

Let me try it

https://i.imgur.com/fbwwtrV.jpeg

looooool

Hahahaha an amazing leap

Zooming across the sky

so does everyone turn into a cloud when they die? is every cloud a dead person? or only famous people? how famous do you have to be to be a cloud?

I caught a photo of this one shortly after Bush Sr died

https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/images-41__700.jpg

Not Facebook, but our neighborhood email group might as well be Nextdoor for how obnoxious it is. A couple nights ago someone let off what were very obviously fireworks in the alley, complete with sizzling, crackling and whistling sounds, but we are now on day two of absolutely rabid, frothing at the mouth arguing about whether or not they were gunshots and how violent our area is.

Im having the best day on my neighborhood facebook group because I dared to say dogs are allowed to bark.

I CANT ENJOY MY GARDEN Because my neighbors two doors down have a doG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You should show up at their door WITH AN AXE!

Our neighborhood email chain is all in a tizzy today because someone had a robin build a nest near their front door and the mail delivery person on our route left a note that they'd stop delivering until the "dangerous animal" was removed. The person sent an email asking if someone might be able to help her carefully relocate the nest, since she didn't want to just destroy it, but from the sounds of the outraged responses you'd think she suggested nuking the nest from orbit.

Our Facebook group has gotten really over-moderated in the past few months. The mods lock down and delete any posts with potentially argumentative or controversial topics. That could be on topics ranging from a non-fatal shooting that occurred down the block last week to someone getting mad that their neighbors had left a plate of leftover hot dogs out for wildlife and pets to possibly ingest.

https://i.imgur.com/hTEOS6M.jpg

I was there.

Anyway, we had never had a nightmare-level Facebook group. There were very occasional off-color remarks by heavy Trumper types and mild comments skirmishes on some relatively weightless topics (such as the hot dogs). But no one was really getting TOO fired up. So I made a post in the group ASKING why posts were getting locked down and deleted, which was promptly locked down and deleted.

Wow I don't know what world you folks are inhabiting because this all just sounds pretty bizarro-world to me. I am on decent terms with my neighbors and haven't heard anything this bizarre. Hot dogs on a manhole I know, I know, it's serious.

I heard if a robin nest is moved the mom abandons it so maybe thats the outrage? This could indeed not be true.

Yeah, I've heard that before too, but no idea as to the truth of it. It was just the out of scale responses. The person asking the question was looking for help/advice and was clearly approaching it from a, "hey I don't want to disturb these birds if possible but also I need to get my mail". And only one of the responses was even helpful, most were along the lines of, "How dare you! Stupid moron, leave it where it is".

Sounds like a local Facebook group.

I've been trolling mine hard today. People complaining about dogs barking in yards (as I said above) and one woman said they should be crated so I replied "OH YHOUD RATHER HAVE YOUR DOG LOCKED IN A TINY CAGE FOR HOURS THAN OUT IN THE FRESH AIR?????'

I've also implied that everyone who wants to call animal control is pro-dog murder.

Im having a great time tbh.

I am actually quite sympathetic to all the neighborhood group complaints about our town switching from meters to a parking app. I fucking hate those apps.

Honestly, I dont love the idea of a dog barking all day either but the way they instantly piled on the poor woman, I couldn't resist trolling.

xp I feel like were just going to get rid of coins at some point

I was just talking to a neighbor who also moved from the city, but before me, about how when your neighborhood is quiet, there's this natural human tendency to look for stuff to be interested in. So you start thinking extremely dumb shit like "huh, I've never seen that car parked in front of my neighbor's house before," or "I don't recognize that kid playing with Emily across the street." I feel like I have to actively guard against that kind of thinking to avoid becoming one of those people.

Oh yeah, that's a big part of it. Suburbia. Our nextdoor app is 90% "There's a man walking down our street I've never seen before" and the response is always 'Call the cops"

Oh and they have a little template to describe the person:

Height
Weight:
Clothing:
Physical appearance:

Just say black. Jesus.

Oh and you know it's not a white guy when they start with "There's a gentleman walking down my street..."

When did 'gentleman' become code for 'Im racist and scared'

gunshots and how violent our area is.

Haha, this like Chicago social media par for the course. Fireworks v. gunshots, why is there a helicopter, lost/loose dog, can anyone recommend a plumber.

WHO'S CAR IS PARKED IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE IT'S BEEN THERE FOR 3 DAYS I'M CALLING THE POLICE TO HAVE IT TOWED

I hate those parking apps too. Large portions of our town switched over to those, but they also didn't bother putting in paystations in many places. So if you are visiting and don't have the app, there are areas consisting of 4-5 square blocks where you are absolutely fucked because there isn't anywhere else to pay, unless you know where to walk to get to one of the few stations.

Also, when my parents were visiting from out of town, they drove us all to dinner at a restaurant, when they parked I had to add their license plate to the app to pay for their parking. I ended up having to completely delete the app and reinstall to get their car to quit popping up as the default for months afterwards.

xp - clearly Andy the Grasshopper lives in my neighborhood! lol

with rare exceptions, my neighborhood mailing list is so wholesome and positive it's kind of disgusting ... mostly people loaning each other tools, finding lost pets, and hosting chili cook-offs and pancake breakfasts

^^^ things that are boring but good, relatively speaking

Not gonna bring lols when I'm bored at work tbrr

I've been trolling mine hard today. People complaining about dogs barking in yards (as I said above) and one woman said they should be crated so I replied "OH YHOUD RATHER HAVE YOUR DOG LOCKED IN A TINY CAGE FOR HOURS THAN OUT IN THE FRESH AIR?????'

I've also implied that everyone who wants to call animal control is pro-dog murder.

hero!! also belated happy bday sunny

Aww i get mean when im bored.

Thank you for the birthday wishes, lovely <3