God bless the goddamn Onion

https://www.theonion.com/texas-bans-consensual-sex-1848631845

https://www.theonion.com/j-k-rowling-announces-she-no-longer-transphobic-after-1850432981

kelly reaching the stars

https://www.instagram.com/p/CvIsExgu4RJ/

Is that on the Onion, or somewhere else publicly viewable?

https://www.theonion.com/curbed-emissions-1850673988

Kelly watch the stars

It’s great that through all the ownership and editorship changes of the Onion he is still there. Ward Sutton did a great cartoon (Ward’s Cleaver) under his real name for alt weeklies when those existed. And he went to my Alma Mater!

https://www.theonion.com/the-onion-stands-with-israel-because-it-seems-like-yo-1850922505

good shit

https://www.theonion.com/report-free-dead-bodies-buried-underground-seemingly-f-1850942454

no clue what's happening here but "Global Tetrahedron" has been The Onion's default fake name for generic corporations for a quarter century now https://t.co/U8kn5HN4vD https://t.co/6hlnVa65QS pic.twitter.com/7uwtqymc6J

— Eric Harvey (@ericdharvey) April 25, 2024

The new owners include tech guy Jeff Lawson and former NYT writer Ben Collins.

“Our goal is to be stewards for this thing,” he said. “We’re keeping all the writers, we’re going to work with the union, we’re going to make it so they can hopefully get paid a little bit more money, and we’re going to give them the room to grow.”

The new owners said they planned to improve user experience on the website and expand into multimedia, but otherwise wanted The Onion’s staff members to continue to do the work they’ve been doing.

Mr. Lawson and Mr. Collins, who were in Chicago Thursday to meet The Onion’s editorial staff, declined to disclose the deal price. Noah Shachtman, the former editor in chief of Rolling Stone, has advised on the project, according to two people with knowledge of the deal.

“The Onion is just an institution,” Mr. Lawson said, adding: “It should be preserved and it should be great.”

Wow. Collins was at NBC, not NYT, but really curious how a youngish journalist ended up in that position.

NEWS: My friends and I now own and run The Onion. I’ll be the CEO.

We’re keeping the entire staff, bringing back The Onion News Network, and share the wealth with staff.

Basically, we’re going to let them do whatever they want. Get excited.https://t.co/CQtWzFHn4A

— Ben Collins (@oneunderscore__) April 25, 2024

“Our goal is to be stewards for this thing,” he said. “We’re keeping all the writers, we’re going to work with the union, we’re going to make it so they can hopefully get paid a little bit more money, and we’re going to give them the room to grow.”

thought this was an Onion article at first

but really curious how a youngish journalist ended up in that position.

Turns out he skeeted his way into it:
https://bsky.app/profile/bencollins.bsky.social/post/3kr2kcufdxf2t

i've noticed a lot less bite in their insta posts lately?

well this acquisition might ruin my online 'handle'. at least they're clearly superfans as global tetrahedron is almost completely a reference in articles from 1999