even more quiddities and agonies of the ruling class - a new rolling new york times thread

this piece was previously discussed on the NY Mag thread f y’all i

sorry i do not read that thread bc i do not read NY mag :)

also xp lol @ io <3

I don’t read The NY Times tbf

> I remember screaming to myself HOW DID YOU GET HERE?!?!

I guess you could say that this is not your... beautiful writer, or something.

There is water at the bottom of the ocean.

“They Built Three Houses Together. Now She Must Do It Alone.”

‘A husband’s sudden death gave a widow time to reflect on the designs of their second homes and how to make one on her own.’

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/06/realestate/sarah-mai-miller-widow-chalk-242.html?unlocked_article_code=1.jU0.CBAP.FBaBelGhWTrU&smid=url-share

i would rob those houses but there is nothing in them that i want. those bags with the house names on them. i would steal just those. and then throw them away. i hate to speak ill of the rich dead but you know that guy was drunk on rare tequila when he crashed his car and killed three other people.

I'm always simultaneously slightly impressed and baffled by people who seem to make it their entire life project to have everything in their lives become instagrammable. Like I'm just sitting here in my home office looking at my desk that I bought from my neighbor, which doesn't match the wayfair shelf next to it, which doesn't match the Ikea cabinet we bought 15 years ago, the ugly offbrand chinese spin cycle, the random dumbells we've accumulted, piles of paper and binders, a string winder and some guitar picks, hilarious drawings my kids have made me, a couple of small artworks my wife or friends made, four guitar cases, oversized headphones, my keys, a metronome, a printed power point labeled "share buyback analysis," some random federal court opinions, used toner cartridges we never recycled, binder clips, a florida souvenir pen with a googly-eyed dolphin topper, a scented candle that I have no idea how it got on my window sill because I never light scented candles... How do people's homes not look like this?

. Like I'm just sitting here in my home office looking at my desk that I bought from my neighbor, which doesn't match the wayfair shelf next to it, which doesn't match the Ikea cabinet we bought 15 years ago, the ugly offbrand chinese spin cycle, the random dumbells we've accumulted, piles of paper and binders, a string winder and some guitar picks, hilarious drawings my kids have made me, a couple of small artworks my wife or friends made, four guitar cases, oversized headphones, my keys, a metronome, a printed power point labeled "share buyback analysis," some random federal court opinions, used toner cartridges we never recycled, binder clips, a florida souvenir pen with a googly-eyed dolphin topper, a scented candle that I have no idea how it got on my window sill because I never light scented candles.

man alive, what are you doing in my house?

I'm always simultaneously slightly impressed and baffled by people who seem to make it their entire life project to have everything in their lives become instagrammable. Like I'm just sitting here in my home office looking at my desk that I bought from my neighbor, which doesn't match the wayfair shelf next to it, which doesn't match the Ikea cabinet we bought 15 years ago, the ugly offbrand chinese spin cycle, the random dumbells we've accumulted, piles of paper and binders, a string winder and some guitar picks, hilarious drawings my kids have made me, a couple of small artworks my wife or friends made, four guitar cases, oversized headphones, my keys, a metronome, a printed power point labeled "share buyback analysis," some random federal court opinions, used toner cartridges we never recycled, binder clips, a florida souvenir pen with a googly-eyed dolphin topper, a scented candle that I have no idea how it got on my window sill because I never light scented candles... How do people's homes not look like this?

How do you not think that's instagrammable?

We're missing the important fact that the husband was driving a Tesla that caught on fire, possibly before the accident.

!!!!

they look like people who are afraid to shit. That's kind of the whole aesthetic, isn't it?

those first two houses are terrible

yeah they look like the typical 5-star-reviewed airbnb

i am STILL thinking about the 3-house guy's Tesla blowing up and then he kills 3 guys!! is that for real? holy crap. those three guys are totally going to haunt those three houses! where is my script-writing pencil? Netflix, have I got a story for you...

It must be nice for your career to really just be a hobby for stuff to do with your trust fund.

Let us not forget the son named “McKenzie”. (How did that become one of the most popular child names?)

Too many children already named Attila.

Is the lap pool just for the dog? It looks like it's three feet wide and fifteen feet long.

Look, it's not called a laps pool

i am STILL thinking about the 3-house guy's Tesla blowing up and then he kills 3 guys!! is that for real?

Just looking at some articles, it seems like all we know is that the Tesla was on fire after the crash. It sounds like the police just didn't rule out the possibility that it could have been on fire before the crash (there aren't any witnesses I guess.) Also no indication as to who was at fault, that I can tell.

I'm happy to be corrected if there's another article out there.

https://www.thehour.com/news/article/wilton-william-price-killed-long-island-car-crash-17817777.php

This article makes it sound like the driver of the other car was at fault.

Price was in a Tesla heading west on Route 25 in East Marion in the town of Southold when the car was struck head-on by a Ford Explorer.

Which, more to the point, that makes it seem likely that the Tesla was not on fire prior to the collision. Unless the 80-year-old pulmonologist behind the wheel of the Explorer was like, "Buckle up, honey. 1000 points for hitting a burning Tesla!"

reporting isn't clear on who was at fault, but the fire seems to have been caused by the crash:

"In an interview Saturday afternoon, Police Chief Martin Flatley said the Tesla caught fire in the collision and burned for two hours."

https://shelterislandreporter.timesreview.com/2023/02/20/four-killed-in-two-car-crash-in-east-marion/

other articles seem to suggest Heath's car was responsible:

"The accident occurred in the eastbound lane of Route 25 near Truman’s Beach in East Marion. Investigators said the driver of a 2023 Tesla was going west on the roadway and crashed into an eastbound 2020 Ford Explorer, causing the Explorer to flip and the Tesla to catch fire."

https://finzfirm.com/blog/new-york-accidents/head-on-collision-on-route-25-on-long-island-leaves-4-people-dead/

(language there ambiguous)

Yeah, I don't know how much to read into the choice of passive or active voice.

I knew (or heard of) a neighbor around here with a little lap pool. It generates a current to swim against, so it's basically just the tiny pool equivalent of a treadmill. It's in a heated garage. The picture in that (ridiculous) article implies this is more of a long skinny outdoor pool, which is extra stupid, because that means they can't use it 3/4 of the year.

Who names their fucking house(s)?

x-post - I have driven that road many times and it's terrifying at night out where they were. Completely pitch black and nothing but farms on either side for lots of it and people speed like crazy. I hated driving it at night.

I like when people name their houses. Where I grew up in the summer it was really common. One of the people on my street had one named Witt's End because their last name was Witt. I always thought that was cute. Their son was Paul-Junger Witt who produced the Golden Girls!

people likes their houses to look nice before instagram, fyi

I knew (or heard of) a neighbor around here with a little lap pool. It generates a current to swim against, so it's basically just the tiny pool equivalent of a treadmill. It's in a heated garage.

sounds like a swim spa.

https://www.sfspas.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/HP18-Swim-Spa-Jodie-Swim-Front-Stroke-Image21-FNL-3-1024x576.jpg

My in-laws have one, although they just use it like a hot tub. But it's WIDE enough to swim, if you wanted to. The pool in the picture looks like you'd be banging elbows on concrete.

"people liked their houses to look nice before instagram"

"people named their houses where i summered"

such comments imply that such people as featured in the article are innocuous. they are not, and they deserve scorn.

Naming your house is like getting vanity plates on your car, except that no one is naming their house SMITHFAM or HESRISEN or EATSPPL or whatever. But maybe they should.

yeah they look like the typical 5-star-reviewed airbnb

people likes their houses to look nice before instagram, fyi

xpost Clearly you didn't read the article:

And they kept it bare: “When you’re going from one location to the next, you’re always bringing this stuff with you, and you don’t want to be surrounded by stuff. You just want to be in a place that’s welcoming and clean.” That made it easy when they decided to rent it out through online booking sites.

They should have filled each house with adorable little dogs.

They could call it "The Dog House."

Naming your house is like getting vanity plates on your car, except that no one is naming their house SMITHFAM or HESRISEN or EATSPPL or whatever. But maybe they should.

The concept of naming your house seems incredibly pretentious to me, but I considered it when my daughter became familiar with the concept and insisted that we should name our house "The turtle house". She also wants us to get a vanity plate for our car which says "TURTLE".

I'm wondering if the firewood in the TV stand is for actual use. That sounds like a mess of bark, wood chips, dust, and cables.

"people named their houses where i summered"

such comments imply that such people as featured in the article are innocuous. they are not, and they deserve scorn.

― butt dumb tight my boners got boners (the table is the table), Thursday, April 11, 2024 10:50 AM (twenty-three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

I didn't say "summered". I would literally never use that; it's obnoxious and pompous. We had a summer house because my parents owned a seasonal business there and they built that house for less than 20k. A lot of the named houses there were very small with some being shacks. Not all named houses are Saltburn style mansions. Not trying to excuse the ppl in the article at all - they sound unbearable. Still think named houses can be cute.

Naming houses is rich ppl shit but also it’s free and anyone can do it if they want.

(or it’s five bucks to buy a sign that says DUNROAMIN to put by the front door.)

“Keep Away By Court Order”

near our house on marthas vineyard was a road called Goa Way.

my grandparents had a named house. Seagull! it was a beautiful house. actually, when we moved to the Vineyard we lived in a tiny house owned my Maria's grandmother and it was called Wood's Edge. it was...600 square feet? maybe a little bigger. so, no mansion.

I was just pushing back against the dichotomy of “instagram house” vs “disorganized houses or whatever jeez, i hate rich people too

xpost - Maybe it's an east coast island thing. I was talking about Fire Island which has a similar vibe to MV just more gays and no cars. Yes, obv it's largely a rich people thing but not always and in beachy places it can be very cute. I bet Seagull was gorgeous.

we have, like, no backyard where we live. we do have a lovely ravine or "dingle" if you will way back behind our house for when we want to commune with mosquitos. but i have fantasized if i ever had the money to build a kinda long tiny house on our tiny yard and put one of those long lap pools in it! and have the tiny house be heated. a tiny pool house. i hate going to the river to get into water. that is the full extent of my rich people dreams. other than making our big attic into a real room where i can put all my books and records. because most of my books are in boxes in the attic. but we never have extra money.

Seagull got bought by a super-rich guy and he totally made it twice the size and all weird looking. it was right on the water. long island sound.

:( Of course he did.

Perfect description of the aesthetic. I like how there are no visible books or cultural ephemera or decoration you can’t get at a West Elm, or evidence of an inner life.
― Slorg is not on the Slerf Team, you idiot, you moron (Boring, Maryland), Thursday, April 11, 2024 9:55 AM (forty-nine minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Right. It would probably make a good separate thread, but it's like there are always a handful of vague signifiers of quirk or hipness but nothing that points to a particular person with a particular personality living there. Which I guess makes sense for an airbnb, because it has to straddle the line between being homey like a house and impersonal like a hotel. Guests don't want to feel like they're intruding in someone else's home. But to actually make your own house that way is so fucking weird.