Jake Gyllenhaal

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You know who is mad-hairy -- Andy Garcia. I remember watching "Clinton and Nadine" and thinking his was the hairiest back I've ever seen. It was like a pelt.

― Je4nn3 ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:54 (eighteen years ago) link

Ugh Andy Garcia is so gross anyway, I mean what is the deal?

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:55 (eighteen years ago) link

Ally - the thick pubic mane evidenced in the upthread shirtless photo suggests that he the lower half of his body is naturally covered in hair, like a satyr or something.

This is the sort of descriptive prose missing in Proulx's "Brokeback Mountain."

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:56 (eighteen years ago) link

by the way, I'm touched that you've all exceeded my Jake lust.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:05 (eighteen years ago) link

you horny gaywads

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:06 (eighteen years ago) link

don't piss on our cornflakes just cos someone ruined ~~Malcolm in the Middle~~Lindsay Lohan for you.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:07 (eighteen years ago) link

xpost

guilty as charged! (flaps wrists)

― elmo, patron saint of celebrity homo lust (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:08 (eighteen years ago) link

JAKE IS FUCKING HOT PEOPLE OK? JUST GET OVER IT IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:12 (eighteen years ago) link

he's no tom selick

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:13 (eighteen years ago) link

http://images.icnetwork.co.uk/upl/m2/jul2005/1/3/0009DA50-27EB-12CA-99D70C01AC1BF814.jpg

― Dan (Val Kilmer Looks Askance At You All) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:14 (eighteen years ago) link

what the shit is that???!

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:16 (eighteen years ago) link

looking at val suddenly makes me feel a little better about myself

― grown so ugly (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:17 (eighteen years ago) link

My best guess is that it's John Ritter doing a Val Kilmer impression.

― Dan (Or Maybe Beelzebub) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:17 (eighteen years ago) link

ugh god. I'm going to go GIS Eli Manning until I feel a little less vomity in my mouth.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:19 (eighteen years ago) link

Let's face it, without pioneering gay films such as Top Gun, we would never have Brokeback Mountain today. Thanks, Val! WE SALUTE YOU.

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:19 (eighteen years ago) link

Dude, Dan, I was just about to say he looks like John Ritter!

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:19 (eighteen years ago) link

Yeah but what the hell happened to his face??

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:20 (eighteen years ago) link

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/43/4782/1024/jake-gyllenhaal-baseball14.jpg

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/43/4782/1024/jake-gyllenhaal-baseball12.jpg

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:43 (eighteen years ago) link

sir I applaud you, esp the 2nd one!

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:45 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.waposdecine.com/jakegyllenhaal/jg11g.jpg

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:47 (eighteen years ago) link

http://entimg.msn.com/i/gal/Undressed_50503/KDunstJakeGyllenhaal_300x435.jpg

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:52 (eighteen years ago) link

bastard.

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:53 (eighteen years ago) link

wait, are they still together?

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:53 (eighteen years ago) link

they are back together after a few months apart, i believe. she initially split up with him 'cos he was too much of a stay-at-home apparently.

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:55 (eighteen years ago) link

i may pay top dollar for a k. dunst/j. gyllenhaal sex tape

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:56 (eighteen years ago) link

i'm not proud of this but i'm not necessarily denying it either

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:56 (eighteen years ago) link

No, you didn't deny it at all, you did the opposite of deny.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:58 (eighteen years ago) link

the first shirtless pic is def. from Arena Homme + fashion magazine in 2002.

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:58 (eighteen years ago) link

ugh @ snaggletooth dunst -- wtf jake? you can do better.

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:59 (eighteen years ago) link

ally, what are you, my factchecker today?

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:59 (eighteen years ago) link

yes.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:59 (eighteen years ago) link

i have had three cups of coffee today.

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:00 (eighteen years ago) link

tho it's not like I was the person correcting your spelling of masturbation euphemisms, you should maybe think about stepping back and looking at the bigger picture of today.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:00 (eighteen years ago) link

I just watched a Jake interview taped a couple of months ago for the gay channel; he sounds and looks as gay as Liberace. I mean, if Dunst was his beard, I'd believe it.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:00 (eighteen years ago) link

Kirsten Dunst is not very cute.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:00 (eighteen years ago) link

the time i saw jake though, he was wearing a pink polo shirt with the collar up.

― ShawShank Rambo Connection (Carey), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:01 (eighteen years ago) link

UGH for reals????

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:01 (eighteen years ago) link

yeah, but he was still hot, and he barked at this dog that was in the bed of a truck that was barking at his dog.

― ShawShank Rambo Connection (Carey), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:03 (eighteen years ago) link

Wait, I remember you telling me this now, about him barking at a dog. The polo shirt thing though is so ugh.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:04 (eighteen years ago) link

Dunst is classic beard material.

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:07 (eighteen years ago) link

Heh. He wore a pink polo shirt, collar up, and barked at a dog.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:09 (eighteen years ago) link

Wow. All he'd have to do is shout "WHERE IS KEVIN SPACEY, MY EXTRA-SPECIAL FRIEND?" and that last lingering doubt would just melt away.

― Dan (Gays Be Barkin'!) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:19 (eighteen years ago) link

HELLO HE IS DATING PETER SAAAAAAARSGAAAAAAAAAARD

― Jams Murphy (ystrickler), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:28 (eighteen years ago) link

which is completely hot if it were true.

― ShawShank Rambo Connection (Carey), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:29 (eighteen years ago) link

peter saaaarsgaaaard has the best voice and eyelids.

― ShawShank Rambo Connection (Carey), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:30 (eighteen years ago) link

i bet he has an excellent bedside manner.

― ShawShank Rambo Connection (Carey), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:31 (eighteen years ago) link

SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS

― Dan (Fun To Say And Type) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:33 (eighteen years ago) link

I was wondering why this thread had taken off and then very quickly I stopped having to wonder.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:34 (eighteen years ago) link

"Where is Kevin Spacey"?

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:36 (eighteen years ago) link

I was wondering why this thread had taken off and then very quickly I stopped having to wonder.

http://www.bakedziti.net/images/val.jpg

― Dan (Thanks, Val!) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:37 (eighteen years ago) link

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Jake Gyllenhaal - C or D?