Jake Gyllenhaal - C or D?

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You know who is mad-hairy -- Andy Garcia. I remember watching "Clinton and Nadine" and thinking his was the hairiest back I've ever seen. It was like a pelt.

Je4nn3 ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:54 (eighteen years ago) link

Ugh Andy Garcia is so gross anyway, I mean what is the deal?

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:55 (eighteen years ago) link

Ally - the thick pubic mane evidenced in the upthread shirtless photo suggests that he the lower half of his body is naturally covered in hair, like a satyr or something.

This is the sort of descriptive prose missing in Proulx's "Brokeback Mountain."

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:56 (eighteen years ago) link

by the way, I'm touched that you've all exceeded my Jake lust.

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:05 (eighteen years ago) link

you horny gaywads

cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:06 (eighteen years ago) link

don't piss on our cornflakes just cos someone ruined Malcolm in the MiddleLindsay Lohan for you.

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:07 (eighteen years ago) link

xpost

guilty as charged! (flaps wrists)

elmo, patron saint of celebrity homo lust (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:08 (eighteen years ago) link

JAKE IS FUCKING HOT PEOPLE OK? JUST GET OVER IT IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT.

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:12 (eighteen years ago) link

he's no tom selick

cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:13 (eighteen years ago) link

what the shit is that???!

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:16 (eighteen years ago) link

looking at val suddenly makes me feel a little better about myself

grown so ugly (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:17 (eighteen years ago) link

My best guess is that it's John Ritter doing a Val Kilmer impression.

Dan (Or Maybe Beelzebub) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:17 (eighteen years ago) link

ugh god. I'm going to go GIS Eli Manning until I feel a little less vomity in my mouth.

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:19 (eighteen years ago) link

Let's face it, without pioneering gay films such as Top Gun, we would never have Brokeback Mountain today. Thanks, Val! WE SALUTE YOU.

elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:19 (eighteen years ago) link

Dude, Dan, I was just about to say he looks like John Ritter!

jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:19 (eighteen years ago) link

Yeah but what the hell happened to his face??

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:20 (eighteen years ago) link

sir I applaud you, esp the 2nd one!

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:45 (eighteen years ago) link

bastard.

cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:53 (eighteen years ago) link

wait, are they still together?

cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:53 (eighteen years ago) link

they are back together after a few months apart, i believe. she initially split up with him 'cos he was too much of a stay-at-home apparently.

jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:55 (eighteen years ago) link

i may pay top dollar for a k. dunst/j. gyllenhaal sex tape

cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:56 (eighteen years ago) link

i'm not proud of this but i'm not necessarily denying it either

cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:56 (eighteen years ago) link

No, you didn't deny it at all, you did the opposite of deny.

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:58 (eighteen years ago) link

the first shirtless pic is def. from Arena Homme + fashion magazine in 2002.

jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:58 (eighteen years ago) link

ugh @ snaggletooth dunst -- wtf jake? you can do better.

elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:59 (eighteen years ago) link

ally, what are you, my factchecker today?

cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:59 (eighteen years ago) link

yes.

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:59 (eighteen years ago) link

i have had three cups of coffee today.

cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:00 (eighteen years ago) link

tho it's not like I was the person correcting your spelling of masturbation euphemisms, you should maybe think about stepping back and looking at the bigger picture of today.

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:00 (eighteen years ago) link

I just watched a Jake interview taped a couple of months ago for the gay channel; he sounds and looks as gay as Liberace. I mean, if Dunst was his beard, I'd believe it.

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:00 (eighteen years ago) link

Kirsten Dunst is not very cute.

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:00 (eighteen years ago) link

the time i saw jake though, he was wearing a pink polo shirt with the collar up.

ShawShank Rambo Connection (Carey), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:01 (eighteen years ago) link

UGH for reals????

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:01 (eighteen years ago) link

yeah, but he was still hot, and he barked at this dog that was in the bed of a truck that was barking at his dog.

ShawShank Rambo Connection (Carey), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:03 (eighteen years ago) link

Wait, I remember you telling me this now, about him barking at a dog. The polo shirt thing though is so ugh.

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:04 (eighteen years ago) link

Dunst is classic beard material.

elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:07 (eighteen years ago) link

Heh. He wore a pink polo shirt, collar up, and barked at a dog.

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:09 (eighteen years ago) link

Wow. All he'd have to do is shout "WHERE IS KEVIN SPACEY, MY EXTRA-SPECIAL FRIEND?" and that last lingering doubt would just melt away.

Dan (Gays Be Barkin'!) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:19 (eighteen years ago) link

HELLO HE IS DATING PETER SAAAAAAARSGAAAAAAAAAARD

Jams Murphy (ystrickler), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:28 (eighteen years ago) link

which is completely hot if it were true.

ShawShank Rambo Connection (Carey), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:29 (eighteen years ago) link

peter saaaarsgaaaard has the best voice and eyelids.

ShawShank Rambo Connection (Carey), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:30 (eighteen years ago) link

i bet he has an excellent bedside manner.

ShawShank Rambo Connection (Carey), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:31 (eighteen years ago) link

SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS

Dan (Fun To Say And Type) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:33 (eighteen years ago) link

I was wondering why this thread had taken off and then very quickly I stopped having to wonder.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:34 (eighteen years ago) link

"Where is Kevin Spacey"?

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:36 (eighteen years ago) link

I was wondering why this thread had taken off and then very quickly I stopped having to wonder.

http://www.bakedziti.net/images/val.jpg

Dan (Thanks, Val!) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:37 (eighteen years ago) link


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