your most important local news story the world must know about

http://www.phinneywood.com/2009/09/01/cougar-sighted-in-magnolia-and-possibly-greenwood/

Police: 'Chunky' escorts rip off intoxicated men

Mountlake Terrace police are on the lookout for a trio of escorts who are alleged to have stolen about $440 from four customers who had invited them over for a weekend party. The cops have their work cut out for them since they're relying on four victims who were "incredibly" intoxicated and provided only the barest of descriptions.

The suspects were all described as being about 5-feet-8, white and "chunky," in their late 20s, possibly from Tacoma.

While trying to describe the suspects to police, the men decided to rate the women on a scale of 1 to 10. Three said the women all rated a "2." But the man described by police as the most intoxicated disagreed and claimed they rated a "4."

Man shocked with 100,000 volts of electricity after chasing rabbit into power station, police say.

A man who was listed as a missing person in Greenville County walked into the emergency room of Greer Memorial Hospital naked and covered with electrical burns on 90 percent of his body, authorities said.
Advertisement

The man said he chased a rabbit into a power station and suffered several electrical shocks, according to a Greer Police incident report.

http://www.wyff4.com/news/21251063/detail.html

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/10/19/u.s.espionage.charge.israel/

pretend i live in south dakota

Man who listed 'robbery' as occupation sentenced

The Associated Press

RAPID CITY, S.D. - A 60-year-old Rapid City man has been sentenced to four years in prison for robbing a bank in the city. Police said Lonnie Pannell walked into the downtown Dakotah Bank on Feb. 5 without a weapon and demanded money. He got away with about $2,800.

Pannell was arrested less than 24 hours later when his car ran out of gas near Chadron, Neb. Court documents said that when Pannell was booked into jail, he named "robbery" as his occupation.

Pannell, who also goes by the last name King, pleaded guilty in July.

also http://www.myfoxdc.com/dpp/news/local/102109_naked_man_arrested_after_making_coffee_update

almost posted that yesterday

Wally
We now have to protect ourselves from the Police and their peeping tom wives-OMAL
Today, 18:29:07
– Flag – Reply

http://nz.news.yahoo.com/a/-/top-stories/6458222/sharks-born-via-bizarre-caesarean-section/

woah that is awesome

http://wjz.com/local/bra.inmate.wash.2.1307686.html

http://www.thepeoplesentinel.com/news/hauling-heavy-superload-shipment-makes-its-way-slowly-through-region
---->
http://www.greenvilleonline.com/article/20091130/NEWS01/91130006/Protesters-arrested-in-Greenville-at-Duke-Power-generator

http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/1281/bigrig.jpg

http://cmsimg.greenvilleonline.com/apps/pbcsi.dll/bilde?Site=BS&Date=20091130&Category=NEWS01&ArtNo=91130006&Ref=AR&Profile=1004&MaxW=550&MaxH=650&title=0

Totally thought dude on the left was this happy Juggalo:

http://media.modbee.com/smedia/2009/04/23/20/755-LIVE_p0424_24b1ferrell.standalone.prod_affiliate.11.jpg

http://www.thepeoplesentinel.com/news/hauling-heavy-superload-shipment-makes-its-way-slowly-through-region

I am loling @ this story

"I'm anxious to see that turn onto Clinton Street - that's a tight turn. There's a lot of jackknife turns," Riley said.

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/crime/bal-plane-stolen1228,0,98027.story

FREDERICK - Authorities say a homeless man tried to leave town in a stolen plane but crashed the single-engine aircraft on a Frederick Municipal Airport runway before he ever left the ground.

Calvin Cox, 51, remained in custody Monday after a District Court commissioner set his bail at $10,000 on felony charges including theft, burglary and trespassing.

Lt. Clark Pennington said a Frederick County Sheriff's Office canine team found Cox unhurt in woods near the runway after an airport worker reported the crash of the Piper Super Cub at about 2:15 a.m. Monday.

Pennington said Cox is familiar with airplanes but not proficient in their operation. The plane, owned by the Mid-Atlantic Soaring Association, sustained damage to the fuselage and propeller, according to Pennington.

He is a terrorist who should be tried as Al-Quaida. Look at his pic. He looks like Taliban.

ChrisM929 (12/28/2009, 4:23 PM )

Pennington said Cox is familiar with airplanes but not proficient in their operation.

this is a weird sentence because it could mean anything from "he saw a plane in the sky one time and thought it was a pterosaur" to "he's a pilot but not a very good one."

he looks like a drowsy Aristotle.

http://www.goupstate.com/article/20100105/ARTICLES/100109906/1083/ARTICLES?Title=GSP-concourse-cleared-after-threat-suspected-near-plane

A concourse at the Greenville-Spartanburg International Airport was evacuated for a short time this morning after a TSA employee discovered an open, unattended door, an airport official said.

GSP spokeswoman Rosylin Weston said the employee made the discovery at about 10:30 a.m., and officials evacuated Concourse B and a Delta plane, which only had crew on board. The Delta plane was the only one on the tarmac at the time.

A bomb-sniffing dog was brought in and smelled something on the plane's front wheel. A bomb squad was called in, but later found nothing. The scene was cleared just before noon.

About 50 passengers were sent back through security and are on their way.

http://www.wltx.com/news/story.aspx?storyid=77595

Richland County (WLTX) -- Deputies in Richland County say they've arrested the final suspect who they say robbed a cell phone store on Sparkleberry Lane.

One of the suspects, however, died shortly after the crime took place.

Investigators with the Richland County Sheriff's Department say 24-year-old Thomas James spray-painted his face to conceal his identity during the crime.

Deputies say the man began having trouble breathing shortly after the crime, then died. The exact cause of his death has not been released.

http://www.thestate.com/breaking/story/1122710.html

News - Breaking News
Friday, Jan. 22, 2010

Eat chicken with a deputy

Looking for something to do today at lunch?
The Chick-fil-A at 2600 Decker Blvd. is inviting area residents to eat with a Richland County sheriff’s deputy, part of "Sheriff’s Appreciation Day."
The event, which will include games and other activities, runs from 10:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. Sheriff Leon Lott will be on hand from 11 a.m.-noon.

Sheriff's Appreciation Day was this story printed in the old west?

Newville man was driving on I-81 with pants down, police say
By CHRIS A. COUROGEN, The Patriot-News
January 22, 2010, 3:01PM

When state police questioned David F. Line about a report from a truck driver who allegedly saw Line driving on Interstate 81 in Silver Spring Township, Cumberland County, with his pants around his ankles and without both hands on the steering wheel, Line had an explanation.

According to court documents, Line, 49, of Doubling Gap Road in Newville, told police he had been eating a cream-filled doughnut and some of the filling had fallen on his pants. He pulled them down so he could clean himself, Line said, according to court documents. The truck driver saw his private parts because he was wearing loose-fitting underwear, Line said, according to court documents.

Nonetheless, state police charged Line with open lewdness and disorderly conduct. Line will receive a summons to appear in court to answer those charges. No hearing date has been set.

David F. Line, 49, of Doubling Gap Road in Newville, is a terrible liar.

http://thestandard.com.hk/news_detail.asp?we_cat=4&art_id=83499&sid=24232911&con_type=1&d_str=20090616&fc=2

The Consumer Council has warned shoppers that what may look like a toilet paper bargain at their local supermarket may in fact be a tissue of lies.

is this local 4 anyone

Authorities believe Wash. man electrocuted by urinating on downed power line after car crash

By Associated Press

3:53 p.m. EST, March 1, 2010

MONTESANO, Wash. (AP) — Authorities believe a Washington man was killed by accidentally urinating on a downed power line after a car crash.

Grays Harbor County sheriff's Deputy Dave Pimentel (PIM'-en-tel) said Monday 50-year-old Roy Messenger was not seriously hurt after he collided with a power pole Friday and called a relative to pull his car from a ditch.

However, family members found Messenger electrocuted when they arrived.

Pimentel says Messenger apparently urinated into a roadside ditch but didn't see the live wire. The urine stream likely served as a conductor, allowing the electricity to reach his body.

Pimentel says there will be an autopsy but burn marks indicated the way the electricity traveled through Messenger's body.

LOL totally misread dude's name and thought http://www.roydmercer.com/ had died a death by flaming genitals. I was pretty pumped to tell my dad.

Today is a good day for Brighton, UK:

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/5048949.Window_cleaner_killed_himself_with_giant_pencil/

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/5047984.If_you_can_t_find_a_pregnant_woman__find_a_big__fat_man/

Mr Craze! It's like a new Roger Hargreaves

"His only psychotic episode..."

sheesh

Haha, I hadn't actually noticed 'Mr Craze' before. That is an awesome name.

I hadn't realized that "Mr." is not punctuated in the UK

too bad punning opportunities are sadly limited because there is only one word in the English language which starts with "mr"

http://horiwood.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/jasonmraztriesharder.jpg

http://www.theargus.co.uk/resources/images/1225608/?type=display

)o_O(

"Martin added that Mrs Norton’s business idea had inspired his band who will be playing at the Rat & Trumpet in Dyke Road, Brighton, on Friday."

lol akira xp

whoa there's a road called that in brighton, talk about not playing up to stereotypes

lovely article tho

Fat Craig David lookalike on the run

http://www.eveningstar.co.uk/content/eveningstar/news/story.aspx?brand=ESTOnline&category=News&tBrand=ESTOnline&tCategory=xDefault&itemid=IPED07%20Mar%202010%2015:30:24:510

http://kstp.com/news/stories/s1457528.shtml

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S06dcExPgno

this isn't really a local story, but scott rothstein's sentence might be eased because he cooperated with federal agents to set-up a mobster. it happened after rothstein returned from morocco to face fraud charges in his absurd ponzi scheme.

http://www.philly.com/philly/news/local/20100318_Inquiry_into_racist_announcement_at_Glouco_Wal-Mart.html

Victoria Arter was stunned by the loudspeaker announcement.

"Attention, Wal-Mart shoppers," she recalled hearing the calm male voice begin. "Will all the black people please leave the store. Thank you."

I have been to this wal-mart

RIP Cankles

John Gormley, Green Party Minister and my boss, has asked people to turn off all of their electrical items for an hour at 8.30pm tomorrow.

He's giving a televised speech about it for Earth Hour. Televised. At 8.30pm tomorrow.

grrrroooosssss

http://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2010/04/06/fish-winter-kill/

Not my locality, but this has been the lead story on their website for over a week:

http://www.kiowacountysignal.com/features/x1031038020/Brisk-start-to-ticket-sales-for-Jones-concert

Brisk start to ticket sales for Jones concert

Featured Business » By Mark Anderson, Editor
Kiowa County Signal
Posted Apr 01, 2010 @ 02:57 PM
Greensburg, KS —

Tickets to the May 1 George Jones concert went on sale this morning at local outlets Mackie Shae Boutique, BTI (Greensburg, Pratt, Bucklin) and Boot Hill Casino. Promoter Landon Laughban told The Signal he'd sold more than 100 tickets between 7:30 a.m. and noon Thursday over the phone.

"My phone started ringing this morning at 7:30 and it's been ringing off the hook since," promoter Landon Laughban told the Signal shortly after noon Thursday, five hours after advance ticket sales for the May 1 George Jones concert got underway.

"It's gotten off to an even better start than I expected," Laughban continued. "None of the tickets I've sold yet (over the phone) have even been from Greensburg folks. They've been orders from people in Hays, Garden City, Liberal, Wichita and Kansas City." Laughban, in fact, said a Jones fan from Florida called him shortly after news of the concert went up on Jones' website last month to ask inform him she would fly in to Wichita to attend the event set for four weeks from Saturday.

The concert will be held on the grassy fields of Greensburg’s Municipal Airport on the east edge of town just three days short of the May 4, 2007 tornado that leveled the county seat of formerly 1,400 people. Proceeds of the concert will go to aid the rebuilding of the historic Twilight Theatre, which will serve as a cinema and live performance theatre/auditorium for the new school set to open its doors next August. The theatre is currently at least $1.5 million short of the funds needed for completion.

Gates to the event will open at 5 p.m. on May 1 with three bands—Mike Benish, Retroactive and Jason Savory—set to precede Jones’ scheduled 9 p.m. appearance on stage. Jones is slated for a 75 to 90 minute performance. While Laughban is hesitant to predict how many he expects to show up for the event, he did acknowledge first day sales is a typically good indicator of an event’s popularity. The airport site is expected to handle a maximum of 5,000 fans.

Those unable to pick up tickets at any of the five outlets—Mackie Shae Boutique in Greensburg, Boot Hill Casino in Dodge, BTI in Greensburg, Bucklin and Pratt—can order tickets in advance over the phone at 580 273 8044.

I couldn't find it but a coworker told me he saw a news story on the tee-vee about an 11 month old baby in Eagan who, autopsies showed, had been given cold medicine and his mothers' prescription pills, and was left alone with the family dog, "Dealer" (who had been starved for days), and was eaten!

BUT, googling this found a number similar stories across the country, including multiple stories about dogs eating babies' genitalia!!!

'Night y'all I'm gonna have sweet dreams.

My favorite front-page headline from the local paper was "Mountain lion preys on pet poodle."