Superhero comics: What insane story/character developments do avid followers take for granted but would blow the minds of anyone only peripherally aware of them?

Comic books have gotten really odd. There is some Moore's Law kind of thing going on where more and more replacements.

OK

Captain America - replaced by Bucky, Steve Rogers currently lost in time with current comic called CAPTAIN AMERICA REBORN.
Batman - replaced by Nightwing (aka Robin), Bruce Wayne currently lost in time with current storyline mastheads saying BATMAN REBORN.
Robin III - is now Red Robin (who was dead Robin II)
Robin IV - is Batman's son
Hulk I aka Bruce Banner is not the Hulk
The Hulk is someone new but not yet known, but now the Hulk is red and people call him the Rulk
Hulk has a son who has shown up on Earth
There are two She-Hulks, but you can tell them apart as one has red hair
There are 4 Earth Green Lanterns, but there are now Orange, Red, Blue, Yellow and Indigo (?) Lantern Corps
There are again 3 Flashes, 1 Kid Flash
Wolverine has a son, so there are two Wolverines

A son?! I thought he had a daughter. I guess that's one less thing we have in common.

I thought Wolverine's son was called Daken or something like that, not Wolverine.

There was also Wolverine special (drawn by Mike Mignola) back in the 90s, where he travels to some time-forgotten valley or something, and battles Apocalypse, and has a kid with one of the cavewomen in the valley. I wonder if that kid has been seen ever since, or has the whole story been erased from continuity?

Seriously? The Rulk?

if you think that's bad, you should've seen the Wendigo-afflicted Hulk, AKA WENDIHULK

Jeph Loeb is to "thank" for this "entertainment"

I'm waiting for Loeb to introduce The Rulk's arch-nemesis: The Reader.

They got Daken dressing up in the brown uniform now in Dark Avengers and is the star of "Dark Wolverine" which is the old Wolverine book without Wolverine. I haven't read that series, but I suppose the public is supposed to think he is Wolverine.

It's all just odd, it's like Bizarro comics land. No one is who they should be, those who should be are dead.

Superman, (aka the Last Son of Krypton) left the Earth and is living with a bunch of Kryptonians on another planet. He isn't even in the comics Superman or Action anymore, which he pretty much has starred in since the late 30s.

Hawkeye (who was also Goliath II-- not the black one that got killed) is now Ronin (who was another character at one point)
Bullseye is now Hawkeye
Spider-man's black alien suit who was Venom got a new host in the Scorpion, who everyone thinks is Spider-man

Henry Pym (aka Giant Man/Ant-Man/Yellow Jacket) is now the Wasp, as his wife who was the Wasp is dead.

Oh yeah, there is this other character called Hulkling, who looks like the Hulk with a blonde surfer hair cut, but get this...he's actually a 1/2 Skrull bastard of Captain Marvel (the Marvel Captain Marvel not Shazam! Captain Marvel, who is now not Captain Marvel as he is Shazam! the Wizard and Captain Marvel Jr. is now Captain Marvel (the DC Shazam! one, not the one that got cancer). Whew...

There are also now like 5 teams of Avengers, if you count all of the off-shoots and none of them are on the west coast.

I may have mentioned this before, but West Coast Avengers from the $0.25 bin was pretty much my favorite thing as a kid. i got almost the entire series that way, missing less than a dozen issues.

that's how I got into Cerebus! And Alan Moore/Rick Veitch Swamp Thing. And Area 88. And a bunch of others. There's a thread there I think.

I'm waiting for Loeb to introduce The Rulk's arch-nemesis: The Reader.

lols

Oh yeah, there is this other character called Hulkling, who looks like the Hulk with a blonde surfer hair cut, but get this...he's actually a 1/2 Skrull bastard of Captain Marvel (the Marvel Captain Marvel not Shazam! Captain Marvel, who is now not Captain Marvel as he is Shazam! the Wizard and Captain Marvel Jr. is now Captain Marvel (the DC Shazam! one, not the one that got cancer). Whew...

ouchies

Hold on, if Superman isn't in his own comic book, then who is?

Mon-Orail.

Action features Nightwing (not the Dick Grayson character) and Flamebird, two Kryptonians who are hunting down other Kryptonian sleeper agents who are on Earth plotting some big takeover. Superman features Mon-El (who is Superman-ing in Superman's absence) primarily, but also the Guardian and Steel and the new Zatarra, et al as they protect Metropolis. The Superman: World of New Krypton maxiseries is currently the only title in which Supes is the star. It's not hugely amazing or anything, but I'm enjoying the Supes titles these days. They've gone back to the cross-continuity 'triangle issues' days (along with the Supergirl book), so it's a fun near-weekly story.

And isn't the Nightwing in Action the adult son of Superman?

The informally-adopted, rapidly-aging adult son of Superman. General Zod is his real pops, but that's Bad News.

(judging from covers alone)
Adventure Comics features 90s remakes of teen versions of classic superheroes going on picnics. Adventure in name only.

I have to admit this Superman storyline sounds kind of interesting to me. Hopefully it'll be properly collected in trade so I can get it from my library. I read a few of the post-Infinite Crisis collections, but unlike the Batman lines I found them kind of boring - Busiek's work in particular was less than I was hoping for (to be fair, I didn't really have high expectations for the other writers). But then again, I find Superman storylines kind of boring in general so I'm not really sure what I'm looking for... All-Star was really good, though.

The Busiek stuff in Superman proper started out really promising, but fizzled out awfully. Nice Pacheco art, though.

I was really digging both of the Superman books with Busiek and Johns. I'm kind of bummed they never finished up the Intergang storyline that was a subplot.

The New Krypton storyline isn't a bad idea, it actually seems kind of Robert Heinlein to me in a way, but the whole Nightwing/Flamebird (w/ Chris Kent) part doesn't work for me and I loathe the idea of Superman not being in Superman & Action. They are also completely dragging the whole conspiracy storyline out, it hasn't really moved in a year and probably won't for another year, although the initial setup was interesting. They also have not tied any of Morrison's storyline with the Guardian in at all, which is a shame, as that was really good.

Oh well...I dropped them off my pull list. I'll pick them up in a year or two for a buck an issue.

There are two She-Hulks, but you can tell them apart as one has red hair

Post confirming pictures or it isn't true.

http://robot6.comicbookresources.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/savage-she-hulk1.jpg

Professor Xavier being a power-mad dick 1/4 of the time, while the rest of the time all characters act like he's the greatest saint who ever walked the earth.

Okay, I'll admit Xavier was always kind of a dick (like faking his death and not telling his own team about it in the late '70s) but ever since around Deadly Genesis it feels like they've been moving him more and more into his ultra-pragamatic, almost heelish Ultimate incarnation in the main books.

I can't but think that the ability of comic characters to keep coming back from the dead would cause a non-comic fan to suspend disbelief.

We're missing that the main Hulk book is now stars Hercules, and he has spent the past few months pretending to be Thor.

hahaha, i didn't know about that second bit

And Zeus is now a child and is Herc's sidekick (sorta).

Also that half the issues being published now don't even feature Thorcules, but his former sidekick, a kid named Amadeus Cho who technically shares the superhero name Mastermind Excello with a character who appeared in two issues of a comic published in the early '40s.

All of which helps make The Incredible Hercules one of the only superhero books worth reading.

yeah i have to admit i dig Cho and Herc too

I dunno, Superman not being present in any of his monthly titles works if you're reading all of the Supes books. It definitely makes sense in terms of the overarching story (Kryptonians banned from Earth, Supes keeping an eye on New Krypton to make sure they stay in line). I think the books are pretty nicely paced, but there's definitely some decompression taking place. They read better in big gulps.

wow, a lot of this stuff did kind of blow my mind

I think Hulk nuttiness lost the ability to blow my mind back when he went gray (the She-Hulk stuff comes close, though).

(ps I am totally fronting here because LMBO @ "the Rulk")

Yeah, that's the kind of dumb shit that occasionally makes me embarrassed to read superhero comics. Rulk. Jeeeesus.

All we need now is a Hulk/Scooby-Doo crossover and my life will be complete.

Scooby is possessed and tears out Shaggy's throat until Shaggy is resurrected by the Phoenix

Actually Disney crossovers are much more likely. Anybody want to take bets on when that DELICIOUS SYMMETRY overflows from the kettle?

If Disney were smart they would cull this freakish mindblowingness in favor of closer, commercial movie continuity. smart and heartless and moneygrubbing. I have faith that they are at least two of those three things!

If anyone has proven they could not give a shit about comic books, it's Disney.

fwiw i am half wondering if you guys are making all of this up so yes

you have blown my mind

Yes, 'Rulk' is the only semi-mindblowing thing to me in this thread. I'm pretty convinced at this point that Loeb has complete contempt for comics and everyone who reads them.

I guess if he's turned sienna, he'll start being mopey?
If he's blue, he'll put on weight?

I think Hulk is very interesting for a long-running superhero character, because he's never really had proper status quo, has he? He's been grey, he's been green, now he's apparently red (though wasn't there a red Hulk some time in the 90s too?), he's been intelligent, he's been stupid, he's been a good guy and a bad guy, and sometimes he just wants to be left alone, he's been separated from Banner and united with him again (wasn't Rick Jones Hulk for a short while in the 80s?). As far as I know he isn't associated with any city or area like most superheroes are, and the only constant supporting characters he's had are Betty Ross and Rick Jones. (Are they still around, by the way?) So it seems writers are much more free to do weird shit with him than with most superheroes, because there's no real status quo he always needs to return to, like Superman or Spider-Man need to.

I'd say status quo is definitely green, stupid, angry, just want to be left alone Hulk. Because every time he starts to branch off into other hulks, evolve, get smart (see Planet Hulk/World War Hulk to now, again) he reverts back to the Hulk of olden days. He definitely suffers from a lack of lasting character change as much as Spider-Man or Wolverine (though I wonder how long it'll take them this time to revert him back to feral).

Bear in mind before you get all fanboy outrage on Rulk it is completely silly and tongue-in-cheek, especially compared to recent Hulk exploits. I mean, they point out how stupid the name is in the comic, and for god sakes, Rulk PUNCHES OUT THE WATCHER for basically comedy hijinks in his third or fourth issue. (Ok I admit there's no way I'd be amused if I was actually paying for the comic.)

I would buy a monthly comic called "Rulk PUNCHES OUT THE WATCHER"

Rulk's war on peeping toms will never end!

Scooby is possessed and tears out Shaggy's throat until Shaggy is resurrected by the Phoenix

that is a whole lot of throat-tearing

forks you really gotta see it -- the Watcher actually does his whole opening splash page narration bit, followed by page two GIANT PUNCH'D IN THE FACE, it's kinda amazing

scans plz?

"I am Steve Englehart Snowflame! Every cell of my being burns with white hot ecstasy."

helluvadrug

'Powers: Cocaine Touch: Touching Snowflame was sufficient to give The Floronic Man a contact high.'

and then somebody rolled up the floronic man and smoked him, circle of dope

Powers: Unique Physiology: The more cocaine he used, the more powerful Snowflame became.
Weaknesses: Drug Addiction: Cocaine

i am dying here

that took me all the way to the ongoing fan webcomic about this guy and dear lord

oh woooooowwww, that's great

http://www.snowflamecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/2012-08-30-8931b9ce.jpg

http://www.snowflamecomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/814311492_1352973.gif

hahaha

http://robot6.comicbookresources.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/Murderers-of-Marvel-Infographic.jpg
wait, cap killed truman?

and how is Truman neutral?

immediate nitpicks: X-23 has surely killed WAY more than than that, even counting on-panel only. you'd think her own mother would be a "notable kill"

good thing they didn't include Bishop who straight up committed multiple genocides into the billions during his crazy time-traveling spree to kill Hope Summers

lol at Iron Man's having killed 5 heroes and 1 villain

I guess they're only counting deaths that weren't reversed by the end of the story arc? Otherwise Thanos should be on the top of the list.

Though they do list The Torch killing Mr. Immortal, even though the guy's literal superpower is that he always comes back to life after getting killed.

man things got really murder-y from the 90s on, I don't recognize the names of at least 2/3rds of the characters involved on that chart

Stpuid superhero deaths