BBC Football coverage, list problems here

so i just feel bbc is getting worse and worse in terms of how it covers football, had a big discussion about this with some friends from "inside" last week and even people whom i thought might be into the current branding (or its target market) really don't like it. the problems as i see them

1. BLOKEISHNESS: Are they really aiming footie coverage at some tiny subset of dense male footie fans? I mean like, having the Kaiser Chiefs or Noel Gallagher on Footie Focus, that awful Robbo Robson blog which thank god they ditched, Colin Murray. Why do the titles for MOTD2 have loads of old matches spliced together in an indie video edit style? Like don't they want anyone young or untypical to watch their coverage? Are they really just admitting "we're BBC Sport, we bask in being old fashioned." The sad thing is if they did that with class rather than having this uneasy almost self mocking relationship with their status as auntie, it might work a lot better. At least that's how BBC does things like golf so brilliantly.

2. Uniformly terrible writers on the website/website looks shit/minute by minutes update incredibly slowly and miss major incidents. That Phil McNulty bloke, perfectly inoffensive, but he is genuinely one of the most tedious, say nothing writers I've ever read in a major publication. Read his piece on Bale last night: http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/philmcnulty/2010/11/brilliant_bale_has_world_at_hi.html

It feels endless and basically amounts to repeating over and over and over again "Bale played brilliantly," plus it's full of descriptions of things that happened in the match. This is their chief football writer, you want some opinion from him, we don't need a rehash of the entire 90 minutes the morning after the game.

"How far can Spurs go on this adventure? They will surely reach the knockout phase and, while their defence has proved vulnerable, there is no doubt they have rare potency in the shape of Modric, Van der Vaart and, of course, Bale."

Let's ask a question and not answer it, cos you know, I'm just CHIEF FOOTBALL WRITER on one of the most popular websites in the UK.

I know they can't be the Guardian or whatever and that has its probs too, but is it really too much to ask for them to inject a bit of life into their coverage? It's just unbelievably cliché ridden, tedious dross. And like, it's not asking for too much here just to want them to get some young and enthusiastic commentators who want to talk about football and express some strident views.

What do you all think? I just despair at how fucking shit and embarrassing it is, and it snowballs in that anyone who's worked around the fringes of news/sport in the beeb gets to know why sport is like that and what the people are like...and nobody decent wants to go and work in football as a consequence.

Why do the titles for MOTD2 have loads of old matches spliced together in an indie video edit style? Like don't they want anyone young or untypical to watch their coverage? Are they really just admitting "we're BBC Sport, we bask in being old fashioned."

Nah it's more than that, they're tapping into a perceived sense of widespread disillusionment with the modern game, post-World Cup at least.

They don't really know much about Hatem Ben Arfa for a start.

Colin Murray is just weird, his blokeyness seems much diminished on MOTD, probably because he looks like a cringeing little dude sucking up to the big footballers.

x-post nah I dunno, I think with Colin Murray on board the idea is to a get a bit of that 90s vibe of, football innit, those old style jerseys and big sideburns, top man, bit of subbuteo.

garth crooks

'lawro'

xp a hoy hoy - jinx

Classic: Stuart Hall, Danny Baker, Tom Watt.

Dud: Garth Crooks, Alan Green, Robbie Savage.

Meh: Phil Parry, Gary Linekar.

football focus - all of it

they should show the clock on highlights.

the couch on motd is a big irritant. Lawro with his pub shirt slouched sideways, says everything about the attitude in a glance.

Keown and dixon are well overdue as chief pundits. They're excellent, in comparison if nothing else

The BBC's coverage and lack-of-depth-of-expertise in Scotland is even more embarrassing, btw, especially on radio. We don't get our main TV highlights package until late o'clock on a Monday night, well after the games have been made available online, so you're really just watching to hear Richard Gordon/Pat Nevin and whichever disinterested manager/pro/ex-pro they can wheel in.

I wonder if MOTD/2 are going for the blokey audience because they figure that's where they are losing TV viewing figures to the internet? My dad, for example, would watch them if they were presented by just about anyone because that's how he gets to see all the games the day they happened, so presumably they don't have to target him with gimmicks, just the actual game footage. Getting other people to watch might be the aim of going for some marketing demographic of blokes-who-watch-football-on-the-internet?

Dunno.

yeah it's weird...has just drifted ever more in that direction.

Its all about who has been their lapdog for ever (see- most writers, colin murray etc.) or being 'famous' and 'experienced' enough to supposedly know the game. It's not actually about being talented as a broadcaster or writer. And experience is worth jack when you are Robbie Savage or whoever - you don't exactly have a career of understanding great tactical innovations with renowned coaches.

Shearer needs to be shot in the face live on television.

Keown is shit. I've said it before but that accent is transperently just him gunning for the "idiot's footballing thinker' slot.

Dixon is very good though, can't deny that.

they should show the clock on highlights.

yeah i've never understood this. i always thought it was some kind of tradition.

yeah i mean...savage i can vaguely handle cos he's there for amusement purposes. i've been to focus/motd meetings and it's like, nobody ever criticises the shows apart from v niggly editorial concerns...you've basically got two tiers, v v senior producers who've prob been in sport forever plus all the talent whose words must be heard and obeyed at all times, then lots of guys in their 20s who film and write the pieces, who pretty much all say zero.

MOTD/2 are going for the blokey audience

Influence of TalkSport and its "record" audiences, surely?

I wonder if MOTD/2 are going for the blokey audience because they figure that's where they are losing TV viewing figures to the internet? My dad, for example, would watch them if they were presented by just about anyone because that's how he gets to see all the games the day they happened, so presumably they don't have to target him with gimmicks, just the actual game footage. Getting other people to watch might be the aim of going for some marketing demographic of blokes-who-watch-football-on-the-internet?

None of this really. I think the readly-available footage of goals on the internet is a factor, but it's not a massive one. How gimmicky is MOTD really? It's not that it's gimmicky, it's that the analysis is shit. But I'm not sure people are bothered about that in significant amounts. It's still the main place to go for Premiership goals and I can't see it hitting it's TOTP moment any time soon.

I wonder if MOTD/2 are going for the blokey audience because they figure that's where they are losing TV viewing figures to the internet?

the thing i don't get about motd2 is that post-chiles it seems to have become more like a shitty internet forum, with 'lol moustaches' and 'lol old' instead of insight and whatnot. and the thing they don't seem to understand is people can get the highlights anywhere, people are going to tune in for insight. when the nani thing happened this weekend, people wanted to know what was said about it - they'd already seen it.

Yeah, I do prefer managers to ex-players as pundits. I get really sick of "you were a striker yourself Alan, how would you deal with a defender like that?" "i'd have kicked him, ho ho chortle slap me on the back and tell me how funny I am please" oh fuck off.

btw, you think yr man McNulty's bad, have a swatch at Chick Young's column for a few weeks.

I think the blokeyness is being overstated here anyway. It's football, of course there's going to be blokeyness. It's not like they're wheeling James Corden and Danny Dyer as presenters.

they should show the clock on highlights.

yeah i've never understood this. i always thought it was some kind of tradition.

apparently it's because on motd they recut the action from multiple cameras with the benefit of hindsight, rather than use the live feed. that means shots are occasionally shown out of order on motd. so if they just took the timecode, the clock would very occasionally jump backward.

the thing i don't get about motd2 is that post-chiles it seems to have become more like a shitty internet forum, with 'lol moustaches' and 'lol old' instead of insight and whatnot. and the thing they don't seem to understand is people can get the highlights anywhere, people are going to tune in for insight. when the nani thing happened this weekend, people wanted to know what was said about it - they'd already seen it.

this is EXACTLY otm. and like, now that you can watch motd2 on iplayer for the first time, how many of you just flick to the highlights and ignore the analysis. people can get everything for free at the moment, music, video, whatever, you have to really fight to make them give a toss about your added content, eg the opinion of some "experts". i totally agree motd2 is now sort of just vague "lol".

MOTD used to actually be enjoyable to watch, and it'd have some semblance of a discussion and I'd want to hear what they said about Liverpool or whatever, but it's got quite poor like that. I don't get why they don't try and copy the RTE model, as much as that's flawed too people would fucking love it. Get some people who will actually get annoyed about their beliefs in football.

x-post haha ailsa I read chick young's column just to laugh at how bad it is!

x-post to matt no but they did hire colin murray, and they are going for a more tame tepid version of the same. i'd actually tolerate it more if it was just the unabashed WHO ARE YA of soccer am but they're trying to meld together the fucking kaiser chiefs and a decent football show...or robbie williams and mark lawrenson.

Some xposting there

Maybe not "gimmicky" as such, but certainly blokey and lolz and stuff, more so than blokes in suits discussing things earnestly (the latter being what I reckon people like my old man who doesn't have the internet would want?) - this makes for shit analysis, if I want lolz I'll come here (also for more insightful analysis than I get from MOTD, tbf). As a result, I rarely go out of my way to watch it these days - I tend to watch highlights online then read analysis/blogs from various places (including here), so it's not really a gap I need filled, but when I do watch, it adds precisely nothing to my viewing experience because they add nothing to what I've gleaned.

the only thing relating to motd/bbc coverage i have heard all season is hanson's challops when theo scored a hatrick. people tuned in for that and to hear them talk about the ability of a young english player. and then the week after when he again played terrifically (maybe that was the week he scored the hatrick) and to see what was to be said. again, it wasn't to see what theo did, it was about the analysis.

Only thing I really pay attention to is Tim Vickery's column but even waivering on that since they plastered his pornstar face all over it.

he is actually good yeah...tho running out of steam in terms of topics, at the start he was really interesting/informative.

they should show the clock on highlights

They can't do this because sometimes the editing is dishonest in order to get whatever narrative they're after, and the clock would flag it up too much. Couple of weeks back I put on Liverpool-Blackburn in the afternoon with an hour gone, saw Torres score immediately to make it 2-1, then saw Blackburn control the game but fail to create any decent chances. I posted on here that it seemed like a decent win but they still looked a bit ropey, andgot shouted down.

Saw motd2 a few days later, and what I got was wave after wave of Liverpool attacks, culminating in Torres' winner then cut to a jubilant Anfield. The entire last third of the game was missing. Liverpool looked sensational, and no wonder.

it's also very annoying when there's a goal between them and you don't know if there's 10 minutes or 30 seconds left

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqAZsoF-ghw

Brian Clough taking exactly the opposite view about analysis here. While I've got a bit of sympathy with where he in particular is coming from, there's a kind of anti-intellect bent to it (of the kind that often makes me feel I'm in love with the wrong sport)

I mentioned it in another thread, but Alan Hansen's "Who gave you that one?" to Lee Dixon after he rolled off a stat about Stoke made my blood boil. Happened during the World Cup, too.

The Goal Of The Month music is shite an' all.

happened the last night too

Think this came up elsewhere but maybe there's a problem with having the same old faces for so long. Hansen and Lineker have been there for over 15 years but it doesn't seem like they are any better at the job now than when they started, and maybe feel too safe and unchallenged.

two key words at the end there.

I don't like the no clock thing too and have always wondered about it.

The Scottish football highlights are odd in that they don't even bother trying to offer any kind of drama or tension. I guess it makes sense since they aren't shown till long afterwards (which is bad enough itself), but having a highlights show where games are prefaced in the studio with comments like "now let's see how St Johnstone held Aberdeen to a draw" and the highlights themselves having commentary moments like "but Aberdeen didn't keep their lead for long" in the runup to the goal it's talking about doesn't help anything.

a clock that just faded on and off at regular intervals would be good

Lineker is very, very good btw - you just don't notice so much because he's not particularly likeable. Lets the guests speak, knows his stuff, generally steers things in the right direction and only occasionally lets himself down by getting involved with the crap. It's not his fault the guests are usually terrible - he shows appropriate respect to the good ones.

lineker deserves a better panel than shearer or lawrenson, and i think it's widely accepted that hansen would quite clearly be fit to up his game were he challenged to actually debate or analyze anything whatsoever. he's settled into the easy contempt of the bright kid in the remedial class for so long now.

john giles would have him for breakfast.

Hansen used to be really good and much more angry/critical. I actually think if they gave Lawro a bit of a kick up the hole he's at least got a brain, you can tell he's capable of analysing a game to some level. Shearer is just a tragedy though, the man is just a huge wanker.

Would love to see Shearer with Giles and Dunphy....god that'd be amazing.

they should try and give o'neill a permanent role for a while...

Shearer is just a tragedy though, the man is just a huge wanker.

for some reason this is my favourite sentence of prose I've read today

In an earlier time I think Ronan might have used the word "brutal"

I agree about Lineker, he's very good at what he does. No idea how much is left on the cutting room floor of course.

On Lineker's 'what's wrong with English football' thing when they showed footage of them watching Klose's goal, I was a bit shocked that Shearer was the one ranting and raving while everyone else just looked glum and deathly quiet. I guess I think of him as having so little personality that seeing him caring about something was a surprise.

just hates foreigners imo

and no lawrenson is a brainless gobshite, i don't think there's anything he's got in reserve or anything. his other media work just backs that up

Lineker is very, very good btw - you just don't notice so much because he's not particularly likeable. Lets the guests speak, knows his stuff, generally steers things in the right direction and only occasionally lets himself down by getting involved with the crap. It's not his fault the guests are usually terrible - he shows appropriate respect to the good ones.

― Ismael Klata, Wednesday, 3 November 2010 18:39 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lineker deserves a better panel than shearer or lawrenson, and i think it's widely accepted that hansen would quite clearly be fit to up his game were he challenged to actually debate or analyze anything whatsoever. he's settled into the easy contempt of the bright kid in the remedial class for so long now.

both of these posts otm.

another problem to list - saying teams have scored on the live updates when they haven't. jeez is it that hard to only type goal updates and score changes WHEN SOMEONE ACTUALLY SCORES?

the live updates are terrible, if you compare the bbc one to the guardian one you see loads of incidents are missed, not to mention the fact that they sometimes leave huge gaps before updating it...

they are pretty much illiterate too. i mean i know it's live, but the guardian manages to remain coherent. and they're the guardian.

mind you that bloke doing bolton liverpool on saturday, that was all over the place, errors everywhere. they have a sub working with them as well at bbc so it's two people fucking up...i think they have it completely arseways tbh, they want newspaper experience for the people who do that job. all they need is people who are used to watching matches and feverishly typing on facebook/forums...

hot damn

haha, did your sky interview already happen? any news?xp

haha it's true tho, why on earth would you seek old media people to do such a colloquial and fun job. prob explains why most of them are like if that old beepy thing on grandscreen could form sentences.

interview is friday...i'm fucked with a chest infection but it might be breaking a bit hopefully, i haven't been able to think about it much cos of that but now that it's easing feeling quite confident. actually heard today got an interview with the guardian as well (just to ensure i've slagged off every potential employer here) in a few weeks, but it's not a sport related role.

well good luck!

there is a thread for slagging the guardian off more generally on ILE if that would be useful?

yeah i'm there plenty, i'm scared they'll ask if i use comment is free, i might delete my account beforehand so they don't see me making endless juvenile remarks about articles...

actually thinking about the updates thing...it's probably as slow it as it is because the first guy writes it, the second guy checks it, he then sends a copy to the bbc lawyers who forward it to text rights, then it is filtered through the bip system and must be signed off manually by tvc security.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/scotland/9156977.stm

the headline for this on the main page "managerial greats, are they a dying breed."

real clever there.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/newsid_9160000/newsid_9162600/9162687.stm

lawro out of his comfort zone. not actually as funny as it could have been (since everyone funny has been fired) but still funny seeing lawro in this mode...

how'd it go ronan?

Yo sam thanks for asking, i posted a tiny bit of this on ile, it went largely well but was really weird.

I expected a full on interrogation type deal like you'd get in BBC but it was really informal and nice. Made me worry they'd already given the job away except they spent ages talking about what it's like to work there etc. Loads of it was them selling/reassuring me about the job.

Then I had to do a subbing test in the middle with a sports news script and I cut it down a lot and removed all the kerrazy mistakes. There was one about cricket tho where I knew it was a mistake but didn't know the exact right year.

I mean overall it went great in that I was well able to answer everything they asked. I guess personally I'd rather if they'd been harsher as I'd have had more chance to show my skills. I guess maybe they are happier to take your cv at face value than the beeb.

They did show me around the office too at the end. I guess the relaxed feel either means they've already decided I can do the job or as I said, already given it away!

There's two jobs going, one permanent and one freelance. Permanent would be pretty amazing and would avoid what happened to me at BBC ever happening again.

I've noticed there's a kind of MOTD hierarchy of importance - Chelsea, Man U and Arsenal all get lengthy, above-the-fold treatment; the stage is set with a narrative introduction beforehand and highlights are followed by video playback and analysis. Then a fourth club gets a half-hearted version of this. Then you get an absolutely peremptory, moronic intro to the next match ("X have won two in a row..... while Y are unbeaten at home this year!" FFS); the remaining matches are shown with no intro, no analysis, only goals or shots on goal.

Is it just because I is American, or does it strike anyone else as strange that the pan-UK BBC dedicates the lion's share of each MOTD to the same three or four teams every single show? Would it be heresy to suggest trimming the top four condensed games by a minute or so each, so as to offer better highlights from ALL the games and a bit more analysis of them? Sure, Wigan's not a big-market team but it's a show about the Premier League - they need to be in there properly surely!

dude you've forgotten basic capitalism 101

it's the BBC! they don't have the same pressures! there are LEAGUE games (in the following five-hour League show) that get more attention than many Premier League games

It's funny, but I never used to notice the hierarchy until a couple of years back when somebody made a big thing of their team always being on last. Now any suspense the show had is totally ruined for me - if Chelsea-Fulham is on before Man Utd-Everton it's obvious Chelsea must've had a shock defeat. At least if Blackburn-Wolves is up first it gives due notice that there must've been a death, so you can look away if squeamish.

it's at least 7 and a half hours long

also lol klata

the consequence of MOTD's top-heaviness is that when any of the Big Clubs play any of the other clubs (which is all the time) there's no narrative there. Lineker and others need to tell the story of the smaller clubs, build a narrative beyond "beset by injuries of late" or "best start to the season since 2001". in any given game there are at least 24 stories to be told.

the football league show is even worse btw - they tend to give 20 minutes to a big championship game, 15 minutes to a big league one game, 20 minutes to claridge, manish + lizzie doing their vapid thing, and about 30 seconds to every other game

here's an idea: every game gets 3 good minutes, there is no presenter

in fact, slate ITV all you like but this ^^^ was kinda how they did the football league in the late 90s/early 00s

My favorite thing about the League show is Manish's tight black trousers and his incredibly awkward "just standing around" pose

Also the inexplicable WALKS he takes down the motel corridors that line the upper section of whatever airplane hangar they're in. "Oh hello..." I half expect him to be zipping up his tight black trousers at the beginning of the shot. "Excuse me! Just popped in for a quickie"

I still haven't forgiven him for his presentation of the 2007 Cricket World Cup. Yeah he's improved as a broadcaster since then but he's still a mudskipper clambering out of the marsh on the sports correspondent evolutionary chain.

When he, Lizzie and Steve converge at the end it is like they are waiting forthe cameras to stop rolling so that they can produce a young fowl from the folds of Steve's undergarments and sacrifice it to the director general

That's crazy!

That you made it to the end.

league two is always reliable for batshit 9-goal thrillers

Had the misfortune to listen to Saturday's 606 podcast during my run this morning. Simon Jordan, what a fucking wind-up merchant scab knob end.

Had to skip to something else after 15 minutes. He was worse than Savage.

Martin Samuel tackling the same issue this morning:

It would appear this show exists to remind us of the genius of Danny Baker, because 18 minutes of his programme which ran for a year until October 1992 and sparkled with wit, irreverence and, on occasions, righteous anger, was worth 18 years of the sorry whinge fest that has followed in its name

Heh. I thought someone refused to cross a picket line but I guess he was on because Savage had an evening game.

the consequence of MOTD's top-heaviness is that when any of the Big Clubs play any of the other clubs (which is all the time) there's no narrative there. Lineker and others need to tell the story of the smaller clubs, build a narrative beyond "beset by injuries of late" or "best start to the season since 2001". in any given game there are at least 24 stories to be told.

I actually think MOTD2 has been pretty good at doing this for a while, going round one club per week, talking to the fans in the buildup to the game and so forth. It works pretty well with yer Blackpools and West Broms and the like. The problems come when you try and say something exciting about yr perennial midtable cloggers, I can't honestly think of many interesting ways to cover Blackburn or Wigan at this stage.

maybe focus on the promising players at those clubs? who with luck won't have to be playing for them much longer

Maybe I should actually watch MOTD2 some time!

Good to hear it Ronan and gl on getting it. Always hope to see ilf break into the system.

I personally don't see a problem with their being a hierarchy of making the most interesting games go first on motd. Tracer you will find it turn itself on its head come Feb when the relegation battle often makes as good a show as Chelsea storming to victory. Team X is currently at the stage of boring as shit 0 - 0 draws every week and their fans don't even turn up to pretend to care, wanting to put them ahead of actual entertainment or a story is crazy.

Of course it doesn't help that there are received notions on certain teams. Wigan spring to mind. The reality is they actually have many exciting, discussion worthy matches and if the past 5 years are anything to go by, could be working towards getting the exciting players the top teams teams want. This can and should be worked on. But until they fire the shitty panel and hire people who understand narrative as opposed to football cliches that drive you mad I don't see a chance of them sorting this.

far, far better show

On the other hand, I got good laughs out of the tactic backfiring on the League Cup show the night of the Liverpool-Northampton debacle - which they obviously had to lead with, but having already decided the show's narrative* hadn't bothered to send a commentator along to Anfield.

* Chelsea-Newcastle

Wigan spring to mind. The reality is they actually have many exciting, discussion worthy matches and if the past 5 years are anything to go by, could be working towards getting the exciting players the top teams teams want. This can and should be worked on.

In the past, yeah, right now I'm not seeing much quality there, with the possible exception of Rodallega. West Brom seem to have taken up the mantle of New Wigan.

re: the online side of things the BBC's club pages are abysmal:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/f/fulham/default.stm

i.e. under the banner of "Latest video, audio and stories" is an embedded video of Mark Hughes talking about a reffing decision. it's been there for three weeks. there have been two matches since then! it's obvious that no one gives a shit about these pages. it's no one's job to look at them.

ok i just watched the As It Stands table change to reflect Bolton's late goal - not sure how many seconds between the goal and that change. at least ten seconds after the table change the actual scoreline above it changes and then you get a minute or more before the text update.

as problems with bbc coverage go, I'd be inclined to let that one slide

as far as the main motd organ goes hansen & dixon is an good enough combination i think - dixon able to appease the boy's club but still be enthusiastic (even perceptive) at the same time. i've been morbidly amused by lawro's nihilism over the years but it's hard not to see him as a key tumour these days. time to shunt him off to 5 live.

xp it was more of a 'this is interesting' observation about the process than an official complaint tbh

So MOTD showed the dirty filthy foreign Cesc tackle but not the one by England's Brave Karl Henry?

http://img683.imageshack.us/img683/743/imag0101tz.jpg

not exactly new for motd there.

"David Cameron's Premier League predictions"

just fucking fuck off

u kiddin

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/50332000/jpg/_50332851_koscielny.jpg
Koscielny suffered a head injury during the Fulham match on Saturday

It occurred to me that I really want to see Savage and Shearer on a panel together. The mutual loathing could make for extraordinary viewing.

They'd be depressingly chummy. The forced nature of it all, them putting on their mummy's best for the Beeb, would make it more nauseating yet.

not a big deal but on MOTD Hansen was narrating Nasri's first goal and said "see you later!" for each time Nasri passed a player. Lineker picked up on this and tried to make it a meme, even ending the show with the same line. It just seemed a really pointless forced way to try and generate levity.

I think they'd totally wind each other up xp. Savage is *desperate* to make a name for himself and has a somewhat inappropriate matiness on-camera. Shearer can't handle any challenge or interaction beyond cliche, but was actually a good player and had his media career handed to him on a plate. A skilled winder-upper presiding and it could be sweet.

Europe's elite
Would Barcelona magician Lionel Messi make your Uefa Team of the Year?

rmdex100000000000000

: )

James Richardson is coming to the BBC! Sort of!

Could be fun!

haha funny old show they've given him. (does he live there or something?) could well be a trial run for bigger stuff.

v glad that late kick off is returning, i really enjoyed it last season (the london edition at least - other versions i caught didn't really seem as good.) presumably all the other presenters will be the same?

dunno why it hasn't been on from the start really.

Hopefully they'll be working up to bumping Colin Murray from MOTD2.

people who want richardson on motd2 have seriously not thought things through. can u imagine the sheer excruciating awkwardness between him and hansen/lawro? or really anyone who isnt sav or dicko? it's not even like jimbo would take it in good humour, he's always having little tantrums at perceived boorishness.

we'll see how he gets on with murty and rosenior's blank looks first i suppose.

people who want richardson on motd2 have seriously not thought things through. can u imagine the sheer excruciating awkwardness between him and hansen/lawro?

This is part of the appeal.

dont know why lawro or shearer would necessarily need to be there

How would a developing Spurs team built around the pace and width of Aaron Lennon and Gareth Bale in tandem with the midfield subtlety of Luka Modric and the thrust and threat of Rafael van der Vaart accommodate a 35-year-old whose best days are inevitably in the past?

nulty, inevitably in the past

Jenas' crib on motd kickabout right now - loves drake & nando's

kind of a short feature - was over by the time I finished typing that

motd kickabout is the new version of the show i worked for in newsround. was it any good? i hope not cos i lost my job cos of it!

I didn't realise it was a kids' show until afterwards, which explains the ultra-short features I guess. Same mixture of lame banter and fence-sitting as every other show. Seems a bit unnecessary to get Dion Dublin in for thirty seconds of that. Also the gags get told as if there's an audience there to whoop and applaud, but there's nobody there.

So yeah, it's terrible. Miles better than the old version at least, I'll give them that.

they want to have a footie guest every week, as someone who worked on the old show i have to say i find it doubtful they'll get good people. colleagues met dion dublin in the bbc bar one night. qed.

Also explains Jenas's crib. Nice to see his massive rooms, massive gym, big swimming pool, his massive office too ("spend a lot of time in here. It's where I download my music")

I forgot to mention the transfer window section:

Dzeko to Man City
Dion: not sure about that one
Talking Head: waste of money

Ronaldinho to Blackburn
Dion: seems a strange one

Keane to Birmingham
Dion: that's a good move
TH: he'll get you goals, guaranteed

Chances Dion knows who Dzeko is = negligible.
Chances he knows Rnaldinho's been doing okay for Milan = debateable
Chances he's seen Robbie Keane play well in last 2 years = impossible

Hey, Dion ex-Celtic, he might have heard about his half-decent half-season up here, no?

celtic, put some money down for him ffs

From F365

Apparently the BBC have a TV show called 'MOTD Kickabout' as part of CBBC, in which various kids TV presenters shout at the audience in typically patronising manner.

Us neither, but Adam Johnson was on the latest edition, taking part in a 'quick fire' Q&A session in which he was asked about his best friend in football.

After looking pensive for a few seconds, he replied in a somewhat reluctant manner: "Andrew Taylor."

Cut back to the studio and the presenter squarked "HE TOOK HIS TIME TO THINK OF HIS BEST FRIEND IN FOOTBALL, DIDN'T HE?" Before adopting a deeply curious falsetto to say: "SOOOOOOO LONELY!"

Well yes. It could be that. Or it could be that it's been fairly widely reported that his best friend in football was the late Dale Roberts.

guilty lol tbh - let the kids get away with bad researching

ha...god. bit of a clanger.

Late Kick Off In The North is amazing. Watching Guy Mowbray trying to have banter with Dean Windass really is quite something.

Anyone for Headers and Volleys?
Dan Walker recalls the football games he played as a kid

do we have a thread on football punditry in general? The Guardian's Secret Footballer columnist weighs in on how shallow it is:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2011/jan/29/secret-footballer-andy-gray-pundits

worth starting imo

quite enjoyed motd kickabout

i like the secret footballer and want to know who he is.

but most of all i want to correctly guess who he is

sadly danny mills is no longer a premiership footballer otherwise he'd be odds-on

Secret Footballer has Andy Gray down pat.

What particularly riles me is when you hear a pundit or co-commentator say something like, "I can't understand, Martin, why Drogba is not on the post here. That header would have fallen to him and if I'm Petr Cech I'm saying: 'Go on son, clear that off the line for me!'"

I still want men on the post at corners though so I guess I'm an idiot, along with all the managers who agree (more than half of them I reckon).

Presumably the Secret Footballer plays for a team that doesn't put men on the posts so that should help narrow it down a bit.

Ronan's "he'll be saying, don't sack me, don't gimme my P45" in the immediate aftermath gave me the best laugh I've had this week

flood the fucking chamber

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/52782000/jpg/_52782147_focusforum2_640.jpg

that focus forum is a fucking joke. they've set themselves a challenge of having a guest every week and exposed the fact the bbc has ZERO pulling power when it comes to football guests. so it's whoever the fuck happens to be in tvc that day, which sometimes is just motty or lawro, and hey let's not film it somewhere nice, an office will do the trick, really exciting television guys. the lack of imagination would make you cry.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/13783154.stm

Wembley was a superb host for this year's Champions League final

was it, thanks for that bit of news bbc...

Wembley's hosting of this year's final was a resounding success.

another news fact, thanks.

the 2012 final should be at Wembley too

wembley hosting the 2012 final would be likely to be superb, bbc sport understands.

That's Wembley 2013 sorted, now for Wembley 2012 I say. Is it too late to have the 2010 final there too?

http://i.imgur.com/OwkK4.png

dun dun dunnnnnn

I'm picturing him prancing into training like Brett Anderson

all that microphone swinging and slapping was a cover for Brett crossing himself - good tip there for Carlos to avoid the wrath of the Ibrox hordes

Bit of camp flamboyance always goes down well there, it's true.

GIS for "camp footballers" no 2 result:
http://i239.photobucket.com/albums/ff162/supernorm/campfootball.jpg

fucking dressed liked twins

If you'd played the game you'd know those are two completely different shirts.

they've been ok tonight tbh, given straight & clear opinions on each talking point that i've agreed with for the most part

I liked Lee Dixon's Downing analysis. I like Lee Dixon.

yeah

better with keown tho

fuckin ell

ha, wrong thread

http://www.surrealfootball.com/2011/08/24/match-of-the-day-3-a-play-by-play-analysis/

Brentford fan Archer believes Cash Machine Man City will be Living for the Weekend against Wigan, Sunderland will be Good for Nothing versus Chelsea and Newcastle, without a defeat so far this season, will remain Hard to Beat in their match at QPR.

Whoever wrote this is a problem with BBC coverage

Also two separate people, one of them inevitably Lawro, acting like "Stracqualursi" is some next-level unpronouncable shit, as if you couldn't even take a crack at saying those four terrifying syllables out loud

is it better to say it then get it wrong though?

i mean, some people even mispronounce single syllable words like 'rake'

the proms here is a big problem with the bbc's football coverage.

lol!

true, but worth catching this year imo

Italian football stereotype? Check.

have they actually decided to make a policy of featuring the most fucking horrendous rock bands in the uk as a key element of their football coverage wherever possible? or do they just actually have such woeful taste?

"rock and football" in that post-oasis way makes me want to cry.

Huge thumbs up for using Rizzle Kicks for Goal of the Month, though.

jesus this is just fucking AWFUL

they flag every event in advance, the commentary is shit, the editing/replays are rubbish, the whole thing's just shoddy

Would swap you every day of the week for BBC Scotland's coverage. Almost had to mute the telly last night, except that the radio coverage is actually even worse.

re flagging every event, BBC Scotland's SPL highlights always have that drama-killing commentary that doesn't even pretend to be live. Sure we may know what's going to happen, but we also know that Jack Nicholson's going to go crazy in The Shining, and that doesn't mean that a narrator outlining every scene before it happens wouldn't make it a lesser viewing experience.

i don't mind summary-style commentary on highlights at all, but the bbc previewing everything when they have no commercial breaks is maddening. we're already watching.

BBC Scotland's SPL highlights always have that drama-killing commentary that doesn't even pretend to be live

This is extremely annoying, yes. I have no clue either why they always give Liam McLeod live telly games, the man has zero clue and just peddles the same old shite every time he's on. Craig Paterson as co-commentator is worse. He went into Wednesday's game with one solitary opinion about Celtic ("James Forrest is a pretty good player") and just parrotted it every two minutes despite Forrest giving the ball away almost every time he got it. He seemed to treat Forrest's second-half revival as some sort of vindication of his first-half opinion, even though his entire first-half commentary just made him look like he couldn't actually see what was going on and was just commenting on a general hunch rather than on what he was watching.

Oh, and I fucking hate Pat Nevin talking about himself in the guise of talking about football, and he's on every bloody week. Well done, you've read a book and heard of Vini Reilly. Now fuck off.

nevin doubt

blimey, i'd always assumed that little indie wanker was off limits round here

I do like him, but he's a bit of a dull pundit. He can't be too happy at being ghettoed into Scottish football, he was never particularly associated with it in his heyday as I recall it. Could do with slating some big names again to boost the profile a bit.

In 2010 Nevin signed as a non-playing substitute for new club Chester FC after Colin Murray of BBC Radio 5 live offered the new club £2,000 if they named Nevin and Perry Groves as unused substitutes at every game in the 2010-11 season.This was live on 'Kicking off with Colin Murray', a show Nevin has appeared on every week since the start of the 2009/10 season. Nevin is usually beaten by ex-Arsenal player Perry Groves in the weekly quiz.

I take that back, this is high-level stuff.

wherever there is talk of useless pundits perry groves' name is sure to be found

Kevin. Gallagher.

Makes Craig Burley seem insightful. Has a really annoying rising inflection thing going that makes everything he says sound like it's coming as a surprise to him. Horrible Anglo-Scottish vaaaaaooooouuuuuuwel sounds.

idk pat nevin /is/ pretty innocuous, you can't just pretend he's some infernal lamacq/barton indie/fitba hybrid banter legend when he's just a nice little chap who maybe liked the cocteau twins

Dude, he shoehorns Camera Obscura lyrics into his punditry. He's also a contentious wee fud who likes the sound of his own voice too much and rewrites history with nary a challenge from any of the morons who share studio space with him because they are all frightened of his massive intellect (i.e. has read a book once).

I've met him a couple of times, he seems an OK chap, tbh, but his presence as some sort of intellectual demigod in the Scottish media is kind of terrifying.

Tom OTM about Kevin Gallagher, btw.

his presence as some sort of intellectual demigod in the Scottish media is kind of terrifying

tbf to the wee man it does not take much to become an intellectual demigod in the Scottish media

yeah well david hume is dead and malcolm rifkind and bobby g are down in london, it's not his fault the scottish media are desparate for someone to hype up as an intellectual

also scotland undoubtedly wins the battle of the p-nevs

heh xp

Pat Nevin >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Pat Kane

I also seem to recall Tottenham being 3-0 up at half-time against Manchester United at the Lane in 2001, and losing 5-3. I'm not sure that offers too much hope to QPR fans though?

YOU'RE SHIT

Give soldiers Alan Hansen's wages
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2055292/BBC-pundit-Alan-Hansen-rakes-40k-Match-Day-appearance.html

£40,000 a week for spending Saturday afternoon sitting down watching football? Who does he think he is? Denilson?

A+

So Lee Dixon is off to ITV allegedly

What do you all think of the World Football podcast with Dotun Atebayo, Tim Vickery and others?

After listening to this hybrid of hip-hop and garage music, I wanted to kill someone

well then

I love the world football phone in. Dotun and Tim Vickery are ace. I wish they had European football experts on more often tho.

the bbc previewing everything when they have no commercial breaks is maddening. we're already watching.

― zvookster, Thursday, 27 October 2011

they skipped this part this week, with lineker explaining it using logic that would hold any week

Colin Murray is to be dropped as the Match of the Day 2 presenter next season.

Murray, who has anchored the Sunday highlights show for two years since Adrian Chiles moved to ITV, is to be replaced by rising BBC star Mark Chapman.

He is regarded as a more suitable host for a programme that increasingly features the most important Premier League matches of the weekend.

It is understood that the Ulsterman had also irritated a number of BBC football pundits by the way he criticised players.

Alan Hansen sneeringly told Murray on one occasion that he should leave the negative comments to the experts.

Chapman will be expected to ask Hansen and Co more questions rather than giving his own opinions as Murray preferred to do in his irreverent presenter's role.

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/44918000/jpg/_44918046_-30.jpg
So, Alan, do you think Lennon went down easily there?

so it is possible to get fired from MOTD. Not if you're an ex-pro though obviously

Fucking hell. Hansen once bothered with motd2?

I hope Murray goes ham for the rest of the season, spraying irreverence around like Tony Montana

Alan Hansen sneeringly told Murray on one occasion that he should leave the negative comments to the experts.

No great fan of Colin Murray, but this is total shite.

i used to be a fan of Hansen. but for years he's been dead to me, probably dead to himself.

I don't get the mentality though. Even if you took the view that people not getting on is a bad thing, contrary to the first rule of television aiui, you get rid of the upbeat guy?!

it's all about access. professionals probably have the closest links to those still within the game and the administrative bodies, plus a natural disinclination to frivolity and taking the piss. the old "if you weren't there you know nothing and your opinion is worthless" attitude is rife, which means that potato-brains like Shearer can still comfortably ignore the opinion of anybody who doesn't belong to the profession no matter how ill-formed and unexamined his own opinions might be. to be a top flight football reporter you either learn the appropriate deference or get another job.

i mean ailsa's right, Murray is a clown, but if the alternative is an increasingly blanded out Official Version then i'm on the side of the clowns tbh. i've noticed increasing antagonism between the pros and the punters on 606 and shows of its ilk lately. and okay, a lot of punters are ignorant idiots, but if you think playing professionally automatically elevates you above the realm of ignorant idiot then you probably haven't really listened to most of the shite ex-pros spout.

it's the same response you get from some writers, musicians, artists towards critics, an unfounded dismissal of the right to criticise based on professional credentials that ignores the amount of bollocks spouted by both sides

There's something really painful and cringeworthy about Murray's attempts to ingratiate himself though, I'll be glad when he's gone.

Murray's terrible, but these smug morons need an irritant in amongst them more often

btw, is this Chapman chap an "expert" like Shearer and his ilk? Last time I looked, he was no more a professional footballer than Colin Murray.

Oh, wait, I missed the bit where he wasn't allowed his own opinion. As you were.

I don't buy the access thing. It's the BBC ffs, what business can afford to ignore it? I wish it would flex its muscles a bit - risible that it allowed Phelan to front for Ferguson for so long.

Plus it's only football: (i) as long as it has the matches, the rest is just filler; and (ii) a bit of journalistic bias can only help, this isn't Israel/Palestine.

Chapman's got a much stronger background in sports broadcasting though.

Chapman knows his place is what i'm getting at.

Ismael i love your idealism but this is 2013, and sports journalism has always kinda been its own thing

"if you weren't there you know nothing and your opinion is worthless" attitude is rife

So otm and my least favourite thing about Gordon Strachan - he has this thing where he goes on about how only "football people" would understand some nuance of the game - like just because millions of us that follow the game but weren't good enough to play it for a living means we don't have a clue about football.

Given that rule would exclude Jose Mourinho I think we can safely say it's bollocks.

I mean I can understand why the Strachans of this world would take that attitude as well, given the thousands of idiot cunts they must encounter every year telling them how to do their jobs.

he had a rant once about angry phone-in punters with "cans of Kestrel and DEVIL DUGS"

Classic: Stuart Hall

.... errrrrrrrr

Murray was always typical of the modern BBC whereby any presenter of anything is shunted into "having a go" at anything else, hopefully this puts them off the horrendous music sport crossover.

Chapman is really, really, boring.

Chapman's OK. Didn't mind Murray either.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2266357/Match-Day-debate--needs-change-close-gap-Sky-Sports.html

Remember when Alan Hansen famously declared that 'you will win nothing with kids' back in August 1995 about Manchester United? Hansen may have been proven wrong but that is exactly the type of thought-provoking, headline grabbing conjecture it needs to regain.

Laurie Whitwell

He would probably think it the worst idea initially, but if Paul Scholes could be convinced how valued his opinion would prove I would switch on each week. He knows the game inside out, has played in all manner of situations, and in my eyes is the most talented player Englishman of his generation.

So his insight and knowledge would prove fascinating. He would be able to disect match action with precision and perhaps provide dressing room tidbits. Once he retires for good, of course.

best idea

valuable insights on picking up the kids, breaking shins with impunity etc

if Sky replaced Redknapp with Carragher they'd be unstoppable

I think maybe Carragher would be guilty in the same way Redknapp is about being unwilling to directly criticise people he has to meet on the reg - though I agree Redknapp needs to be replaced with someone. Carragher also says "ay" and "like" too much for my liking but maybe I'm just anti-Scouse.

How did Gary Neville get the Sky Main Man gig? I don't recall him being particularly brilliant settee-fodder, if he even did it that much, so how did Sky know that this was the guy who'd make everything alright - was he pitching to them relentlessly, winning merits at presenting school, or what?

he only really did the settee stuff when he was a player. his shrewdness in seeing the opportunity for real insight and having the cojones to take it is as admirable as the quality of his punditry.

He would probably think it the worst idea initially, but if Paul Scholes could be convinced how valued his opinion would prove I would switch on each week. He knows the game inside out, has played in all manner of situations, and in my eyes is the most talented player Englishman of his generation.

So his insight and knowledge would prove fascinating. He would be able to disect match action with precision and perhaps provide dressing room tidbits. Once he retires for good, of course.

he oozes charisma too. scholes and giggs for motd2.

sky thought hey this will be lolz and then it backfired

carra's just going to be forthright bluster isnt he, he's got the insight of a dustbin lid

As far as bbc or itv coverage goes, murray's been several rungs above average.

Love to see hansen on rte, he'd have his lazy arse handed to him pronto. Richie Sadler already twice the analyst.

GNev is excellent, and I wonder why BBC can't find one like him. Out of the gazillions of ex-pros and unemployed managers, there must be several who are knowledgeable and smart and interested, but somehow get overlooked in favour of wannabe personalities like Savage or Wright or boring bastards like Shearer and Owen.

btw, if yous all want Pat Nevin back, you can have him.

The bbc don't want anyone like gnev, they'd have to get rid of everyone else and that might piss someone off

Dixon, keown and a couple others have been good on motd2 when i catch it

Dixon jumped to ITV.

Dixon's away to ITV now, I think, but I v rarely watch football on ITV. Agree he's streets ahead of Shearer. Hansen's just boring now, reminds me of the bawbag in my office who convinces stupid people he's clever by sounding authoritative even when spouting utter pish.

xpost

by sounding authoritative even when spouting utter pish

Jeez, yes - I once saw Hansen on telly talking about music for some reason, and this was exactly how he approached it. Greatest act ever? BILLY JOEL.

what are the musical equivalents of power, pace and ability

Ever see Hansen on the Frank Skinner show? Horrible viewing - he just sat there going "Say something funny! Come on we're all waiting!"

That was pretty funny actually.

I don't approve as such, but I just found this takedown of Murray and I'd be lying if I said I was entirely unamused

I know it's the Telegraph so I shouldn't have read the comments but...

I can hardly understand the accent which you can cut with a knife eg wheelves meaning Wolves, I presume etc. What Jonathan didn't pick up on was the lovely expression of "Gobbin Off" used by Murraysome weeks ago. How on Earth do people like Murray get these jobs? More P.C. junk, I suspect, it sure isn't talent.

Nice

why the fuck did he go and see him? sweet jesus.

'big quick strong and he can play'

GET INVOLVED

We asked for your thoughts on whether Frank Lampard should be offered a new deal at Chelsea or should he head elsewhere? Here are some more of your replies:

Jaben on Twitter: "Even considering the question is crazy! Look what he does for Chelsea and England! Look what Paul Scholes and Ryan Giggs do for Manchester United!"

Sunday Aruwa on Twitter: "Lampard to get one-year contracts going forward, just like Ryan Giggs. Still has some gas to burn though."

Tim Wozencroft on Twitter: "As a Liverpool fan I feel for Chelsea fans, not giving Frank Lampard a contract is like not giving Steven Gerrard a new contract for my team, ridiculous."

Tell us your thoughts via the hashtag #BBCLampard on Twitter.

Michael Owen

Jaben confusin me tbh

I'm enjoying this low-key, non-studio coverage actually

I really liked this, it's nice to see a programme that doesn't look or sound like any other footy show.

I was disposing of recorded motds at the weekend, and realised I'm now forwarding through them at such a pace that it's barely worth it. I'm basically now winding through the punditry AND the games, slowing briefly for the goals that earned a 'woo, strike' on here.

same as that tbh, if i miss rte i'll skip thru bbc

i notice with some regret that they've partly quelled the jobsworth who insisted on listing brazilians by their full name - Kenedy has now been retrospectively applied to all historical Nunes do Nascimento appearances

05 Marques Loureiro
08 Frello Filho

still got these two running the napoli midfield though so that's alright

sad they're no longer referring to CRon as 'dos Santos Aveiro'

Benfica

1 Santana de Moraes
50 Cabral Semedo
7 Samaris
14 Nilsson-Lindelof
19 Pereira Dos Santos
21 Afonso Fernandes
5 Fejsa
85 Luz Sanches
10 Gaitán
11 Mitroglou
17 Gonçalves Oliveira

Substitutes
9 Jimenez Rodriguez
13 Pedro Lopes
18 Salvio
20 Ganchinho Guedes
28 Silvio
30 Souza Conceição
66 Alves Dias

http://www.bbc.com/sport/football/35835197

this quiz is too difficult :c

2 simulataneous Prem matches on Five Live, one of them with a real impact on the title chase, one of them a tussle for 5th place, guess which one gets broadcast on the main channel

^ preceded by 2 simultaneous prem matches on five live, one a local derby with a real impact on the relegation chase, one of them a tussle for 7th place, guess which one gets broadcast on the main channel

http://www.bbc.com/sport/football/35835197

this quiz is too difficult :c

― uncle tenderlegdrop (jim in glasgow), Friday, 18 March 2016 17:51 Bookmark

tru :/

i got 3 out of 10 and two of them were total guesses.

4/10 3 guesses :(

"Manchester City must avoid defeat at 10-time European champions Real Madrid to reach their first Champions League final after a cagey first leg at Etihad Stadium."

http://m1.sportsjoe.ie/YToyOntzOjQ6ImRhdGEiO3M6MTY1OiJhOjM6e3M6MzoidXJsIjtzOjEwMzoiaHR0cDovL21lZGlhLXNwb3J0c2pvZS5tYXhpbXVtbWVkaWEuaWUuczMuYW1hem9uYXdzLmNvbS93cC1jb250ZW50L3VwbG9hZHMvMjAxNi8wNS8wOTEzMTgzOC9iYWxkYmJjLmpwZyI7czo1OiJ3aWR0aCI7aTo2NDc7czo2OiJoZWlnaHQiO2k6MzQwO30iO3M6NDoiaGFzaCI7czo0MDoiZjc1NzMwOTc3ZmIxYWI0YjZlNTk1MTZhNzljMWJmOWFkMDg0ZTAwZSI7fQ==/baldbbc.jpg

Poll!

I mean pull!

http://www.garlandsleisure.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/laserclay.jpg

danny murphy looks like game of thrones crossed with trainspotting

this dragon's been glessed and no cunt etc

The League of Bald Headed Men.

Jermaine Jenas and Jason Mohammad will be in new presenting roles on 5 live, including Jenas presenting The Friday Football Social alongside Darren Fletcher.

i was confused first time i heard somebody refer to Darren Fletcher on 5 Live

wish they'd put nult on telly tbh.

dark dystopian football punditry

dunno what context im missing here but yerman from elbow is not letting anyone finish a sentence its all a bit aggressive

ironic because you think he'd be used to meandering aimlessly on and on

Five-year-old Sunderland supporter Bradley Lowery has terminal cancer, but he scored a penalty for his beloved Black Cats in the warm-up against Chelsea on Tuesday night.

There is a growing social media campaign with players, media and fans calling for it to be the official Premier League goal of the month.

HUMBUG

This sort of thing has happened in the SPL at least twice.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-31549343

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-38195527

Though those probably were the best two goals scored in Scotland in those months, amirite?

You've set a frankly terrible precedent there

Five-year-old Sunderland supporter Bradley Lowery has terminal cancer, but he scored a penalty for his beloved Black Cats in the warm-up against Chelsea on Tuesday night.

There is a growing social media campaign with players, media and fans calling for it to be the official Premier League goal of the month.

Goalie should've stopped it imo

Never a penalty if you ask me

What's with this obsession to show footage of people leaving a match early?

Get involved
#bbcfootball or text 81111
Posted at
21:41
Ben Dunbar: Comment les aimez-vous les pommes?

I cannot footcelsior what I wish to and I cannot say why

a) Michael B

b) the kid is dead

p funny tho

maybe the follow-up is funnier still actually

Nothing inherently funny in the death of a child tbf lj

Although it's mildly amusing that I had to type that

footselfior

we allowing this 1992 liveblog

gonna say it's more tragic than fun.

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/live-experience/cps/800/cpsprodpb/vivo/live/images/2017/8/15/799bba1a-d646-4dec-bca9-1388cf59ec50.jpg

anything which includes a coventry premier league fantasy is a+ imo

http://m.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/41684602

all the highest-rated comments to this are rightly calling it out for the clickbait shite it is

Heh, same with this one, also from today: http://www.bbc.com/sport/football/41828734

Are you analysing a football piece using the comments like count

come now

What like on a three count or just whenever I'm ready or what

does it not strike you of all people as tedious that any spurs player who emerges above a certain media-dictated parapet of excellence is destined for a 'bigger club' (population: real madrid)

or are you actually quite cheered with the bernabeu feeder club motif

I like to think that we're above reacting to this stuff as if it required our attn tbh

the wiser discourse

I think the media gets in a tizzy at the idea of an English player being good enough to play for a major team outside England.

It's understandable but curiously honestly humble

Think Tom's otm. An English player succeeding - or even just going - abroad always seems to create huge waves with yr press. Probably because so few succeeded.

But it's still clickbait that deserves to be called out imo.

Count yerselves lucky you don't have to watch on rte. For twenty years George Hamilton has been a second ahead of the picture and it has spoiled every moment of football ever and is currently doing so for spurs madrid

rip armfield, have fond memories of the man

Ah, shame, good guy. RIP Jimmy.

LIVE FA Cup - De Bruyne with cheeky free-kick v Cardiff

FFS! If only he had attempted a deferential free-kick, cos I hate that word.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-45194443

literally end the bbc here

privatised, shut down, fucked off. over.

AHAHAHA LOOK IT'S NOLE GALLAGER I WROTE A "JOEK" ABOUT DEFINITELY MAYBE THAT WAS WORTH EDITING IN

cunts

Oh, well, OK, Sutton was talking about the Premier League. But I refuse to recognise that backstop, which exists in these discussions simply to excuse people with no sense/knowledge of history.

— Richard Williams (@rwilliams1947) February 7, 2019

the former old grey whistle test presenter mugging off Chris Sutton goodstyle!

RW is a contributor to Mark S's book and was at the launch party a few weeks back. I regret not having a word with him. He seems like a righteous fellow.

Sutton doing the clod-hopping football shock jock thing is currently vying with zombie Humphrys as the worst thing about BBC radio.

I like him a lot, despite him stanning for Nicola Sturgeon! It's probably counter to everything ILM/ILX represents but I liked his music blog (that is currently on hiatus) as well. His knowledge of 70'/80's footballers is unfuckwithable and he seems to realise it actually existed before Murdoch. Yeah and that fucking high-octane talksport twat style of punditry that is so prevalent these days - he's about as far opposite of *that* as it gets.

Tim otm, out-Savaging Savage is no way to go thru life

we have this twat (ex-goalie matt glennon) as a summariser on local bbc radio, and he's done the same course I think.

god I just want make clear I was repping for RW in xxp in case it sounds like CS.

That was clear.

Though the idea that you're an avid reader of Chris Sutton's music blog is a happy one.

The only thing I don't like about RW's blog was that he kept reviewing great-sounding shows that happened within a mile of our flat and the first I heard of it would be his review.

virgil van dijk is great tho

I don't have words for the degree of my contempt for the cunt Lawrenson

Hard to tell what he despises more - football or being alive

'Brighton beat Leicester in seven-goal thriller'

A seven-goal thriller is 4-3 you tossers, this is canon

Idk there is a certain intrigue to watching a team desperately chasing a fifth so as not to have won 4-2, which as I will elucidate in the coming paragraphs is the most embarrassing scoreline to wi

fair fucks

It was mostly a battering though for real

One less problem, one less member of the Liverpool FC mafia and one less jaded miserable git sucking all the joy out of whatever game he's commenting on.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/football/2022/09/24/mark-lawrenson-axed-bbc-65-year-old-white-male/

Mark Lawrenson was sacked by the BBC because he was a 65 year old white man... who travelled the world to commentate on the greatest fixtures in sport but did it in the style of a performance art piece about a miserable depressive hermit utterly consumed by a hated of football.

— Europe's Leading Soccer Futurologist (@TreborRhurbarb) September 25, 2022

Some aspects of BBC soccer coverage have worsened over time. I'm not convinced that Lawro going is part of that, though.

Greatest Lawro moment anyone? For me it's a game early in the 2018 world cup, where a French player was down injured, and our man witheringly diagnosed a 'dislocated shoelace'

:(

https://www.theguardian.com/football/article/2024/jun/09/alan-hansen-liverpool-and-scotland-legend-seriously-ill-in-hospital