'Even allowing for inflation, this thread is not worth 198 Terry Francises' - EPL 2017-18

Controversial invisible handball thread.

Real posters you don't have to Google only.

didn't we lose the liverpool title in recent years? we're in the hunt for little more than fourth, if anyone deserves to be given the "will fuck up the title no matter what" based on recent years it's spurs.

I think you'll be heavily involved in the title race this year, give or take a new defensive signing or two.

Salah / Manè should be fantastic.

Also putting Spurs in the thread title will only encourage people.

Fullback situation looks very dodgy for Liverpool though.

ffs

minute we give away a corner you think "prob gonna concede a goal here" and so it proves

*Deletes Liverpool from thread title*

watford look by far the better team here

this is fucking painful - how can they be this bad so soon

Mane is so good.

that flick tho

he really is. word of my post obv reached the pitch. lovely goal.

xpost

henderson is worryingly shit so far.

football!

almost have to laugh

they look brittle and scared every time watford have the ball in and around the box tbh. fucking joke to still be so bad at the back.

Going to be 4-3 again.

Mignolet there going for the counter and obligingly rolling the ball straight to a Watford player.

Stop calling him Okaku ffs.

Liverpool look flat as fuck here

Firmino has been completely anonymous and none of this back four looks remotely like Champions League standard.

Salah's shooting has been pretty entertaining

henderson the worst culprit but can has no real creativity either. would take a draw here in an instant.

truth is liverpool will concede at least one more in this game, at the very least that is. they might score another.

how can a pro deny that is a penalty? like it couldn't be more obvious.

So Firmino is playing after all.

Good too be back, EPL.

my stream broke as firmino was about to hit the penalty - terrifying.

xpost also hooray for salah's first goal

Two games, 12 goals is pretty good going.

Even allowing for inflation, Firmino must be worth at least 6 Tony Galvins.

if we ever invent time travel and cloning i'd like to watch vast matches featuring legions of trevor francises pitted against the same number of dean saunderses

Nice to see someone make a save, I didn't realise the rules still allowed that.

that sub right back for watford is muck

Watford falling apart rn

trent aa is v young but he does look p solid to me

touch wood

Falling apart indeed, but even this breakaway from Watford leads to comedy capers in Pool's defense

i think the problems in the defence are so deep that one player won't fix them, even if they can sign vvd or whatever. there's a rot there for a long time now.

trent aa is v young but he does look p solid to me

he definitely has good delivery

yeah he played a beautiful cross earlier that was well cut out

I hate giving Murdoch clicks, but the BBC don't seem to be capable of providing a functional latest scores page, so fuck them.

can't believe it's going to be another season of butt-clenching scorelines like this in the last 15 mins. some lost, some held.

could be a blessing in disguise, as they might try and get vvd after all now

just need to southampton grant vvd his dream while preventing coutinho from making the worst decision of his life.

Oh dear.

amazing

mignolet own goal it seems.

ffs. surely offside tho

don't think og, he heads it in.

you're right.

Richarlison looks the part btw

Before the injury Watford were looking good for the winner.

think he was level with the ball? Inches in it anyway

Can I say my "sports entertainment" thread title suggestion was entirely otm? This league is pure WWE

It is quite reassuring that two of the big clubs can't defend for shit.

i thought he was way behind the ball, a few feet, he's nearly on the line and the other guy like... isn't. haven't seen it again tho, and in any case the defence shouldn't be allowing somebody to control a shit corner and shoot.

seen it a few times now. It's a square ball

fair enough, think i just saw one angle immediately after. i turned it off at the final whistle, understandably enough. don't need to see analysis of that. i'm not altogether raging - there were some positives - the defence was that bad last season and they still finished top four. and at least they battled back from being behind. but yeah - champions league and even any two-legged tie like hoffenheim is a major problem with such a shit defence.

also - prob could argue attack squandered too many chances to put it to bed

actually...I guess his foot is offside. Tough one to call though

https://i.imgur.com/gpCy71T.jpg

I thought he was offside but Watford deserved that draw overall. There could be some embarrassing European nights with that defence (if we get past Hoffenheim of course)

surely it's time to bury the hatchet with sahko. not saying he's the messiah but at least he's got a spine.

"Martin Keown

Former Arsenal defender on Football Focus
Posted at 15:46

I'm really concerned about Chelsea. Looking at this team, with Alvaro Morata unable to compete and Pedro not available, where are the goals going to come from?

I think they might not even make the top four."

We could've done with some pundit transfers too smdh

Cahill red.

Fucking Elias Kachunga!!!

Burnley 0-1 :)

And Mounier with a 2nd!

Terriers!!!

Bummed I can't find a stream of that

piece of piss this league!

http://www.genti.stream/hd3.php

haha cheers mate

Palace pure panic! De Boer staggering under the weight of new formed forehead wrinkles

'rooney getting stuck in'

Both teams have started with the in-vogue three-man central defence system Everton have Dominic Calvert-Lewin in the right wing-back position. He's normally an attacking player and has already been caught out a few times by Stoke's Erik Pieters overlapping on the visitors' left wing. Wayne Rooney was given a huge cheer when his name was read out over the loudspeakers at the start. The biggest cheer of all Everton's five new signings. Rooney is rolling his sleeves up and getting stuck in as well, his most meaningful contribution so far was a defensive diving header to clear away a Stoke corner.

when words have the rhythm of a joke but are sad, not funny.

ha! ha! Zaha fails to win a penalty from being a persistent diving twat!

Palace are an absolute shambles. If this is De Boer's 'possession football' he'll be out by september.

Huddersfield bright and keen.

Burnley 2-0

(bit of Zanka's well-known non-defending there, whew)

Three!

You knew it was over when Conte went out in a tracksuit.

Burnley cruelly displace Huddersfield from top spot

:D

And Rooney scores. A day of miracles all round.

is this that famous "street football" that Pardew was trying to invoke when he was at Palace? As in disorganised and just turning up to while away 90 mins!

This is the best opening weekend ever.

Otm.

Commentator "Huddersfield may tire towards the last third of the game"

these cunts have done zero research on Wagner's training regime.

If anything Palace will tire towards the last third of the game because they've no clue and are shit.

This is mostly due to Wagner's game plan imo, pressing up really high, making Palace v nervous.

Apologies to renown pundit Martin Keown for scoffing; he was otm.

Brave JT's Villa losing 1-0 at Cardiff as well.

Mounie 3-0 . Fuck he'll be gone by the jan transfer window!

Mounie!

xp

Mind you, he might stay if we are still in a champion's league berth!

Vardy's still at Leicester, so I don't see why Mounié can't stay after winning the title.

Fabregas sent off now too

3-2 though.

These pricks had better not get something out of this.

Morata's been really good

Paulinho IN at Barca. £36.5m

there now, everyone's happy.

Lol what a day of sporting glory

If Barca then shell out for Soldado and Vlad Chiriches we need to start worrying.

watching MOTD has re-affirmed that Lossl has made two very good saves today, but still his distribution is L1 standard. but sometimes they all seem shite tbh.

Was at a wedding miles from radio or any other telecommunications infrastructure.

Did I miss owt

I think the main story was that apart from a few exceptions, most premiership defences are still in pissed up holiday mode.

Sissoko in the starting line-up oh dear.

Booing Sissoko is odd. How many Newcastle fans would have rather he stayed?

he acted like a twat his entire time there tbf

bit of a let-off for Kyle Walker jr. there

Walker-Peters has looked alright so far tbf. He and Sissoko are playing lots of meaningless passes to one another.

Imagine if Newcastle fans booed every player who gave up on their club.

hooray harry sticks one up some daft frenchman #fuckoff #brexit

No fucking way that was accidental from Shelvey.

hah! what an absolute shithead and good news for us.

Lovely.

I can cope with Trippier being off for a few more weeks, KWP is fine here.

good to have Newcastlol back bringing the lols where they belong

classy lot for booing a player mainly because he was deliberately stamped on.

he's also a massive cunt though

I wasn't aware of that tbh. What has he done?

let's go to the archives

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5UhJVu9eT8

(and that's just the most egregious example)

that'll be why the Newcastle fans booed him off

oh ... that type of cunt. He looks a pretty fucking tidy player tho!

they obviously booed him off for this reaction. Unfair? Possibly. But I wouldn't have much sympathy for one of the nastiest players in the league

I mean I'm quite casual about him now because I have previously only seen the odd clip of him, but if I saw him going studs up on our record signing - I'd probably want the bastard strung up as well!

Dele is a childish enough prick, and at six foot and with a nasty stream in him I'd not be rushing to his defence.

One of the nastiest in the league? Wouldn't have said so tbh. Maybe in a spurs shirt it's more surprising to see it idk.

he looks like a boy scout next to some of the lower league nasty fuckers I've seen in my time. Darren Bullock was more like a violent offender than a nasty footballer. But he had a heart of gold and only ever bludgeoned to death his own .. etc..

He once threatened to break Craig Bellamy's legs in the tunnel, but got sent off before he could do that, for stamping on someone's head. Not for us, I should add.

Chris Morgan played epl which is a disgrace given his career was the injury of players

well here is a coincidence, both Morgan and Bullock were both former Warnock signings.

Early days obv but I have to say Matic looks like a superb signing so far

Was just going to say the same.

Kind of amazing that united haven't created a single chance from all the corners they've had considering the physical size of the team now. That goal was pretty great though

lol what was that bit of drink bottle arranging ocd all about from Mourinho?

Well this is quite satisfying

down to 2nd ffs!

more like waste ham amirite

More like Slaven Bilious amialsorite

this is fucking up that 250/1 quid bet I've got on Hudds being top after 3 games. Gonna have to treat that cakewalk against the Geordies next week as a GD improving exercise.

oh fuck me! here comes the hyperbole after Man U have a good game. It never gets old.

The hyperbole is terrible, but I've not seen ManU play this good in at least a year. I'll take it before the inevitable string of draws kicks in.

I'd say four years...

tbf they were excellent, but the portentous tommyrot starts to become unbearable!

This is a good United team, like it's actually balanced in a way that no post-Fergie squad has been. Still needs more in attacking midfield positions but the Matic deal could go down as one of the all-time worst transfers for the selling club.

It is only early doors, but to miss out on Lukako and lose Matic to the same rival seem like season defining blunders.

To have sold them both tbh

But wasn't there some kind of nonchalant arrogance from Chelsea's negotiations? Like they thought they were a shoe-in to resign him at one point? God I hate that creepy, wiggy bastard tbh.

Meanwhile on the Spanish Super Cup Ronaldo came on for 20mins, had a contentionsly disallowed offside goal, scored a ripper, got booked for taking his shirt off, booked again for diving and have the referee a bonus shove on the way out.

Pretty sure Chelsea were so confident of getting Lukaku that they forgot to put an offer in.

The situation with Costa is strange as well. The move to Atleti sounded very straightforward on paper but has clearly gone off the rails.

Sanchez to Spurs rumors are persistent, and indeed seems to be abt 40m quid. He's pretty good but.. is this really the position they need enforcement?

Dier playeing 20+ games at CB last year suggests yes.

If they can him and Balde (and possibly Diop) that would be a terrific window.

I'm guessing we'll sell Wimmer but given Sanchez can play RB as well as CB it seems like a sensible buy. Wimmer tanked really badly last year and I don't trust Dier in a back four. If either Toby or Verts (or both) get injured we're kind of fucked.

Makes sense guys. Haven't been paying enough attention obv, thought Wimmer was still a bright prospect.

We supposedly bid £25m for Martial on the weekend too. Not sure how much truth in that tho as surely even Levy can't expect to get him for that price.

The move is never the move

So tonight Liverpool are up against the team that last season scored the most goals from set pieces in the Bundesliga

Wonder how that will pan out

Spurs aren't going to sign four players today

Feel like barkley, if signed, would be the floodgates on the wage bill. No harm imo.

He would also be an interesting test case on whether poch can make any willing but talented idiot a high functioning team member

Pochs going to leave this season isn't he

Serge Aurier has apparently agreed terms but then a few weeks ago it was reported he'd done the same with United.

'Was I happy with the start of the game? No,' Klopp added. 'We had pre-season where it is clear how we want to defend.

'In the end it is not fair. I don't imagine many people wrote that we won 3-2 according to the rules but, like Manchester United last year, their goal was offside.

'We can either allow the pressure on this game to increase to the extent that we cannot walk any more, or we try to enjoy this opportunity.

lol let it go buddy

Watford deserved something out of that game if we're bringing fair into it

Spurs sign someone

is that a report or a request?

Had seen keita balde announcement but maybe not final

would be surprised if he's the first, but i would welcome it. his youtube highlight reel is nice, but paolo bandini said he wasn't convinced by his finishing. he also has this strange wiki detail: Born in Arbúcies, Girona, Catalonia, to Senegalese parents, Keita came up through the FC Barcelona's youth academy. In 2010, Keita travelled with the Barcelona youth team to Qatar for a tournament, where he played a practical joke by placing an ice-cube in a teammate's bed.[1]
As a punishment, Barcelona sent the 15-year-old Keita on loan to satellite club UE Cornellà, despite Keita's reputation as a future prospect for the first team.

feel like there must be more to that, but the referenced article is in italian.

Yeah, the full detail was that he had paid ice-cube to perform sexual acts on a team mate as a prank

money on the snitch being deulofeu

If there's more, it's not there in that Italian article. It does speak of his fondness of mozzarella though, and that he eats all the time. xxp

He ain't the one

Spurs players can sleep easy in their beds etc.

Does the Italian for bed resemble the Italian for anus, I wonder...

I do work with an Italian woman but I don't think I could broach the subject without getting a 70s sitcom style slap across the chops... she's an old fashioned girl.

Che faccia tosta subject of a 90m bid from citeh

Bloody Kramaric is determined to keep making my boosting of him look foolish.

whoa

kind of lousy keeping but a great hit

actually nah that wasn't being saved

Everton have splashed out another £45m for Sigurdsson

Woof

John Terry's Aston Villa currently two down at winless Reading and bottom but one as it stands

^^ awes.

Completely forgot abt tonight's matches. Do we need a CL thread or nah?

yah

Hoffenheim's set piece delivery was great, yet we had the better chances from set pieces. Should've won that 0-3 at least.

It was a great result for Liverpool considering the Keystone Cops defending

It was like a game from the 60s or 70s. Here you have a go ok now you have a go..

Sanchez to Spurs seems like a done deal

(fact that this news got out while Ajax were embarrassing against Rosenborg is v satisfying)

what's your opinion of him?

He's obviously got the physical attributes but I thought he was all over the place positionally (although he had the pace to bail him out) and passing-wise in the EL Final. Utd basically let him have the ball all game long

was much more impressed by de Lijt tbh

He's the best defender of the league, but that doesn't mean a whole lot when transfered to the PL. Tbf to the lad, all of Ajax were outplayed in the EL final. But he's had a very good season (his first here), and I do think he can get a lot better, too.

De Ligt is a good prospect but on the whole he's just too young (18) for a step up. He's had numerous slip-ups. He's allowed to imo at his age, but there's no way he'd be of any use to any PL club right now.

Sanchez should be ready to play from the start for Spurs I mean, think he'll do well. Plus he adapted to a new continent really fast.

This is good news

johnny evans to city for 27.5m?

Nothing about that makes any sense at all. Also the fact that West Brom are apparently willing to drop £15m on Kevin Wimmer as a replacement.

Guessing they're both dependent on the Sanchez deal going through.

is there anyone worth less than 10m in the league?

john walters went for 3m. i know he's not amazing but it does feel a huge chasm between him and all other deals. how many clubs are going to be bankrupt in about 3 years?

Liverpool reject 114m bid for Coutinho.

If they really won't sell, they won't. But Barca is desperate, with a disastrous start to the season and Neymar-money to burn, but no-one will take it. Liverpool could squeeze 150m out of this if they want.

mane is a bigger deal for liverpool than coutinho. but 150m that they can't spend or don't know how to spend is never ever worth it.

Otm, I hope he stays, too. It's funny that the outrageous amount paid for Neymar is something Barca can't buy someone for (same with Dembele apparently), unless they slap nearly all of it on the table.

barca are on the edge of becoming a bit of a joke, this summer. they are actually desperate to sign anybody, like fucking whoever, just to wave in front of the fans.

#supportersinglasshouses

Think Barca becoming a joke is a bit much. They never, ever expected PSG to actually buy out Neymar. No one did. It was an unprecedented move spinning the market out of whack.

It's a beautiful paradox: they can't sign their desired players because they have too much money.

it's the same for a bunch of clubs. everyone is so rich that their money is worth less.

apparently some clubs believe psg are deliberately bidding way, way above even what's necessary, to squeeze the market, as well as obv for the purpose of getting their targets.

Exactly. If the Neymar deal hadn't happened, I'm certain Liverpool would've accepted a 90/100m bid for Coutinho in a heartbeat. xp

i don't think they would have - i'm not even convinced they'll sell him at any price but it's harder to tell.

It's guess work. I do think they won't sell him this period.

I'm really curious what will happen with VvD and Soton. Who will win the staring contest?

i doubt he'll go either - they're v determined not to sell and he won't go as far as going on strike or whatever.

mane is a bigger deal for liverpool than coutinho. but 150m that they can't spend or don't know how to spend is never ever worth it.

― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Friday, August 18, 2017 10:36 AM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

otm on both points

Huzzah!

We are delighted to announce we have reached agreement with Ajax for the transfer of Davinson Sanchez subject to medical & work permit. pic.twitter.com/bCjP3ur3Ca

— Tottenham Hotspur (@SpursOfficial) August 18, 2017

i'd still like a bit of good news for liverpool before the window closes

Great news on Sanchez.

On a side note, is it easier for footballers to get a work permit these days? Sanchez has only played for Colombia twice and Richarlison has never represented Brazil at senior level.

sans EU we'll be BRIC-ing it yo

^this may be incorrect

Would that have made Tim a briced dallas howard

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/40979887

quality press conference

they changed the permit rules so that if a transfer costs a certain amount of money the player is assumed to be of the quality required to earn a permit.
xps

actually it looks like it changed to a points-based system, and the points are based on the value of the transfer and the wages, etc. upshot is if you pay a lot, you'll almost always get a work permit.

Ah, thanks.

My theory is that they have engineered a version of fmrte that works in reality.

when it rains, it pours
https://talksport.com/football/deal-close-tottenham-hope-conclude-deal-argentinian-defender-juan-foyth-170818251047

not sure sanchez or especially foyth make spurs better this year

so many puns

why sign two defenders when they had such a mean defence last year?

these two are young enough to be toby and jan's eventual replacements, but a right back would be good right now.

poch seems done with wimmer so cb depth was needed

Rashford looks the part rn, but Pogba won't finish this match. On a yellow and losing his head.

Shame Rashford's shit in front of goal really

Yeah that was bad. There's so much frustration in this ManU, I hate it and put it down mostly to Mou.

come on

there's 11 men behind the ball

delighted for Bailly anyway. We look a threat from set-pieces all of a sudden

He was very keen to get that. Though I could watch Pogba's header over and over, such force.

Agreed on set-pieces

United bossed most of that half tbh, need more end.product

think we'd have more joy with Martial's dribbling ability second half. Might be an idea to bring in Herrera to take some defensive responsibility off Pogba too

I've got 56th minute for the last goal in the pub, that's my main interest now

It was Bailly's first professional goal ever. Half expect him to bump the 'I scored a goal ffs'-thread.

Was gonna say Lukaku's not in this at all, but then he doesn't need to be

Pogba you beauty

hell

yes

Riot

not so frustrated now?

Well there's a few more goals than I expected

I concede NN. Really happy with this start.

Pogba is liberated with Matic in the team. You barely notice Matic is playing, which is a great thing.

It's almost like paying £80m for a midfielder and playing him out of position for an entire year was a bit of a dumb idea?

He's playing in the same position...

He's not in a different position!

xp lol

horrible

Yeah I noticed he was playing in the same position, in Football Manager terms it's his role that's been freed up

Anyway, obviously far too early but these fucks finish top 2 no question

That strikes me as way too early indeed. But we're looking so much better than last season, it doesn't even compare.

I think Palace are in for a total shellacking today, de Boer and the team seem totally at odds with each other. And we killed Zaha last week.

Yeah I don't think De Boer is a good fit for the PL.

Was looking for a Terriers stream but it's not till tomorrow :)

Saturday games are so last season, darling!

Haha :)

Have to thank you again for killing my weekend productivity with that genti.stream thing; best one I've ever had, no problems at all.

Lukaku 3 goals
Pogba 2 goals, 1 assist
Martial 2 goals, 1 assist
Mkhitaryan 4 assists

✓

Happiest with the Mkhi stat tbh

he actually wasn't great overall today, despite getting MOTM. Struggles in tight games but once it opens up he's lethal

Hai Beeb can we have a "That's what 28m gets you!" for Arnautovic? Thx

Well impressed with Robertson so far. Lovely first touch, lovely cross

Yeah he's looking good. Liverpool should've been up 2-0 at least.

now the fear

nervous.gif

jesus thank god that's over

Liverpool grinding out the one nil

weird decision not to start Salah

All I keep hearing on 5 live is how much Palace have upped their game from last week's performance, when the truth is we made them look shit!

weird decision not to start Salah

presumably resting people for tuesday night which is a bigger game i suppose. strange to drop trent aa roadwatch as well.

luckily moreno will be fit and firing on tues

Palace weren't any better than last week. Difference was last week they thought they'd get a result, which they couldn't. Today was just holding Liverpool back 90 minutes. Though Benteke should've buried that one chance.

Matip had a great chance early on. I guess hes not used to heading towards the goal! Thought it was solid from Liverpool today, didnt shirk when they got the goal although maybe lacked the cutting edge in the final 3rd

matip is like he's cursed, he has near misses so often.

Barcelona have informed Liverpool that they have until Sunday evening to change their mind on Coutinho or it will be withdrawn.

please don't withdraw the offer we instantly rejected, stop, we can't take this hardball.

lol

Arsenal have been really poor. 85% possession in the second half but almost no creativity.

Fam out

It was poor yeah. No idea when around the box.

arsenal and liverpool seem p similar this season

Don't be so hard on yourself

Liverpool's got way more creativity, even without Coutinho.

Steven Gerrard & Martin Keown arguing with Graham Poll? Like Deja Vu! Good chat here on correct offside call vs Arsenal today. #STOARS pic.twitter.com/CkEcvQoa7y

— eirSport (@eirSport) August 19, 2017

Boom!

Detailed updates please some of us are doing well to get even this text based resource on our phones atm

Wanyama and Dier both in the team. Trippier starts. So does Bakayoko. Unclear what formation Chelsea are playing.

Courtois, Christensen, Luiz, Rudiger, Azpilicueta, Kante, Bakayoko, Alonso, Moses, Willian, Morata.

I know they've got injuries and suspensions but that's absurdly defensive. Take it as a compliment I suppose.

Deems, Terriers bossing Toon around in a scruffy game, but well-deserved lead through Mooy. Over.

wrong thread deems

Not a good performance, marred by some of the ponderous and nervy possession in the 1st half. But can't argue with the result and Mooy's tidy goal. It is nice to have a German manager who is capable of keeping consecutive clean sheets.

It was scruffy and nervy, but I never doubted HT would bag the points. Newcastle are going to have a *really* tough season.

Loved Wagner's victory lap afterwards.

That was a fantastic goal from Mooy though, both the move the led to it and the shot itself.

Conte's in a suit, we're gonna lose.

XP I'm getting spoken commentary of the real match from a German next to me who has the rte app

He is wearing a mayo jersey.

ABK

Morata misses a sitter

Poch out

stunning free kick from Marcos Alonso

unsaveable pretty much

Dier went in for a tackle and managed to miss the ball and take out two Chelsea players instead.

someone is definitely getting sent off

bergkamp-esque bit of skill from alli before kane hit the post there

spurs are all over chelsea in a really impressive way, despite losing

yeah they've been the better side by far

Vertonghen could have been off there though (although I think a yellow was just about right)

Sounds useless

I mean congrats and all but

eriksen assist vs chelsea again :)

wait do own goals have assists

Is that 2 0

Info would be appreciated

Aha I c

I have a mbm now although it's made the power surge in this term!inal

Poor old Batshit.

Batshuayi (on the pitch about a minute) headed into his own goal from an Eriksen fk after a really stupid Bakayoko foul

2-1 Chelsea

Alonso again

lloris nightmare

What type of cunt ends a mbm entry on "and then...."?

Ah wtf Hugo

Dude has not been himself this year imo

Sounds vvvvvvvv spursy this

the most spursy

Lloris has done a spursism

Cunts

it was dozy from whoever lost the ball from lloris' throw too, but the throw was a terrible idea

Oops

It was Sissoko that lost the ball in midfield I think? That Davies for Sissoko sub was entirely unnecessary and can probably be chalked up to a desperation to start the Wembley season with a win.

I'm thinking MOTD2 is going to confirm to me that the German core of our defence is More than good enough for survival. Schindler/Lowe - looking like top class players. Tommy Smith is starting to look a liability, despite his last brilliant season and club capt status. Our next signing will deffo be a RB.

Lovely goal from Mooy

Good move of St Mirren to let him go on a free transfer.

lol! I didn't know the St Mirren history!

He doesn't score like that too often, but the rest of his game is so fucking consistently awesome that 8m was a snip.

Neymar looks like he's struggling in Ligue 1

https://streamable.com/0jddt

All well and good but doubt he could do it on a rainy Tuesday etc

I mean fair play to the lad but league wise he got himself demoted. I like the Ligue 1, but the diff between the top six and the rest is huge.

(ok, same applies to Spain tbh)

Some of our fans are getting carried away with how much our chairman isn't as much as a vulgarian as Mike Ashley. I don't want to ruin the happy mood by pointing out that he has also amassed a small fortune through the creation of garbage jobs + zero hour contracts and is also tory voting twat.

Two shots on target

Can't even be mad at Hugo cos in fairness

But that was a huge game to decide to take off.

"The draw for Round Three of the Carabao Cup will take place in Beijing, China on Thursday 24th August 2017.

The draw will take place from approximately 11:15am local time – 4:15am BST – and can be followed live on the EFL’s Carabao Cup Twitter feed."

Xref alt right thread

“There is no evidence Mr Podolski is either a migrant gang member, nor being human trafficked."

City, a club who spent £124m on fullbacks this summer, appear to be playing Leroy Sane at left wingback.

can't believe City re-signed Stephen Ireland

looks quite good though

ROOOOOOONEY

He does look the spit of Stephen Ireland. Calvert-Lewin looks good

I would love it if Ederson turns out to be another flop

Walker off!

I think that's why you don't play Sane at LB.

Who among us would not enjoy a TWP golden boot?

Not seen this, but why didn't Everton win this when playing against 10 men for 45 mins?

Also: Man City paying 300m to buy out Messi this transfer window y/n?

Should've bought Rooney obv

Everton bottled it basically. Sat back from the moment Walker was went off

Messi will sign a new contract

Messi said he would, but hasn't yet. I read an interview with Iniesta today, can't remember where, in which he said: "I always thought I'd end my career at Barcelona. This year is the first year I find myself questioning that." Bartomeu is under heavy fire.

Sitting back sounds like Koeman alright. Should've gone out guns blazing second half.

City team still looks...incomplete. Of course Pep does like to overcomplicate things

B. Silva looked great when he came on

annoyed city scored because otherwise the headline "ROO BEAUTY" would've definitely been used in one of the tabloids tomorrow

Who among us would not enjoy a TWP golden boot?

― imago, Monday, August 21, 2017 2:11 PM (eighteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

id more an enjoy it

than god damn

CoROOna

It was a vintage Rooney performance tbf. Few decent passes, hideous first touch, spawny goal and a ridiculous shanked attempt from the halfway line

Happy if he scores a few against our rivals

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DHxz0cBVYAYa-cB.jpg

the one guy in the hoodie who is loving it for whatever reason.

Pep's pretending to not understand the interviewers questions thing is insufferable, he's so fucking charmless.

i find his total lack of patience endearing

wtf was he doing after the match sprinting away/performing for the cameras last night. he's honestly such a fool.

Pep running off to spend another £250m on defenders & goalkeepers. pic.twitter.com/T1YQpc8x9V

— Roy Keane (@RoyKeane__) August 22, 2017

When you have to go you have to go

Bernardo Silva looked amazing, Danilo also looked dangerous yesterday. City now just have too many excellent players in advanced positions, but there's no obvious partner for Fernandinho in central midfield following Gundogan's untimely death. And I'm not sure Jonny Evans is the answer to the problem at CB.

Barcelona are suing former player Neymar for 8.5m euros (£7.8m) over his world record move to Paris St-Germain.

The Brazil international made the 222m euro (£200m) move to the French club in August after buying out his contract.

Barcelona now want him to return a renewal bonus he was paid when he signed a new five-year deal just nine months before forcing through the move.

"The club demands the player return the already paid sum as he has not completed his contract," it said.

As well as the 8.5m euro bonus, the club wants "an additional 10% because of delayed payment".

The statement continued: "The club also requests Paris St-Germain take on responsibility for the payment of these fees if the player cannot do so himself."

The lawsuit was submitted on 11 August to the Labour Tribunal in Barcelona.

Following the transfer, Barcelona announced the club was withholding a further 26m euro (£23m) loyalty bonus from the player.

Neymar criticised the directors of the club on Sunday after scoring twice on his home debut for PSG in a 6-2 win over Toulouse.

"I spent four beautiful years there and parted happy," said the 25-year-old. "But with [the board], no.

"For me, they are not the people who should be there, for the direction of Barca. Barca deserve much better."

anything to distract from their farcical summer and the fact they're broke.

doesn't this kind of do the opposite?

yeah, it does - that ultimatum issued to liverpool at the weekend was so embarrassing that it was like something liverpool would do. bartomeu's days must be numbered.

also it's so obvious they are chancing their arm trying to get two players with the neymar fee, in a market where that won't happen, because there's no one replacement they can sign and perhaps signing both coutinho and dembele, or y'know, anyone really, might sate the fans for five minutes. i see dortmund have told them to do one as well.

They're the laughing stock of the summer. Not sure about his days being numbered, as I'm not sure who would have to send him out. Messi and Iniesta piling on the pressure too, and rightfully so.

LG do you still think VvD could go your way? Soton signed Dutch defender Wesley Hoedt from Lazio today for about 15m. Same position really.

hard to say - it's similar to coutinho except dunno where it stands as regards us actually making a bid after the whole tapping up unpleasantness. i'd feel a lot better about this season if we signed a defender. if we don't then it's heinous for us to leave sahko out in the cold.

Maybe Liverpool have indeed condeded and feel 'humbled' wrt VvD and will wait another year? Humbleness being a v rare treat in football though.

I do agree for you that you *really* need a defender, or three. Not even Barcelona w/ Vermaelen and Matthieu were so out of whack, with a brilliant attack and shamble defense.

Be kind to my typos.

@david_conn 10m10 minutes ago

Manchester City (Group) have bought Spanish La Liga club Girona, in a partnership with Pere Guardiola, manager Pep's brother & agent. #mcfc

Class

If it weren't for this supremely dodgy acquisition I would never have found out that FC Girona's second-choice goalkeeper is called Bono.

surely the money would've been better spent buying a couple of Prem teams

FC Feeder Club/Academy Training Slope, I'm guessing.

Barcelona muestra interés por el mediocampista Galés, jugador del Stoke City, Joe Allen; preparan primera oferta de £30M.

according to some reports the 'Welsh Coutinho' had a blinder against Rochdale last night.

Imagine spending nearly half the Neymar cash on Paulinho and Joe Allen.

surely that's a pisstake about joe allen - that video of brendan rodgers calling him the welsh is a deeply enshrined meme.

i do think joe is good tho and liverpool should have kept him.

Mbappe to PSG seems to go ahead. French papers reporting 150m euros and a PSG player going the other way.

Swansea are probably signing our best defender, right/wing back Santiago Arias. Meh.

Apparently some former wonderkid, who has gone off the boil slightly, called Emre Mor is either Everton or Hudds bound. We might even have the edge because they can't realistically guarantee him much football. That would be quite a biggie for us, apparently around the 12m Euros mark.

Lol, googling Emre Mor just now brings up Dutch and Turkish news articles from the last 24 hours saying his agent got him addicted to snus!

he sounds like a cocky gobshite, I come up with some quote about him wanting a move to Real or Barca. It doesn't look like that is happening soon!

Converting Allen into a #10 was a pretty smart move from Hughes, not the sort of thinking you usually associate with him. He's a fairly limited footballer but does a couple of things well enough - hard to see how he'd be much more than a bench option for Liverpool right now though.

Weve signed Swiss RB from FC Ingolstadt, Florent Hadergjonaj on a season long loan with option to buy. He doesn't look a day over 14 years old.

Looking forward to those chants of "There's only one Florent Hadergjonaj", amirite?

lol! Our lot used to get confused enough over Clark/Clarke, so there is nope of any of them ever spelling this one correctly.

http://indeksonline.net/public/uploads/image/2016/11/1_1480410732-9684682.JPG

Formerly of... BSC Young Boys :)

https://www.htafc.com/siteassets/image/players/florent-hadergjonaj/16x9-florent-hadergjonaj-002.png/Large
he seems even younger on the latest official site pic!

Dorian Hadergjonaj

It is safe to say that back in the days when the police would request people to take part in line-ups, they wouldn't have ever asked him. Not unless it was minor crimes division (scrumping, stealing gobstoppers, garden hopping).

"Sometimes it's Haaaadergjonaj"

Even more ridiculously there are reports that Sissoko to Juventus should be finalised in the next 24hrs.

http://www.htfc-world.com/reports/Newcastle3/newcastle200817_r41_c1.jpg
i'll probably get fp'ed for overdoing the Hudds stuff today, but this from HTFC World's latest cartoon match report made me lol.

I still think sissoko has a top level central midfield career in him

Group A: Benfica, Manchester United, Basel, CSKA Moscow
Group B: Bayern Munich, Paris St-Germain, Anderlecht, Celtic
Group C: Chelsea, Atlético Madrid, Roma, Qarabag
Group D: Juventus, Barcelona, Olympiakos, Sporting Clube de Portugal
Group E: Spartak Moscow, Sevilla, Liverpool, Maribor
Group F: Shakhtar Donetsk, Manchester City, Napoli, Feyenoord
Group G: Monaco, Porto, Besiktas, RB Leipzig
Group H: Real Madrid, Borussia Dortmund, Tottenham, Apeol Nicosia

PSG ne sera pas sur cette chose - It's the Champions League 2017-2018 thread

Barcelona have confirmed they have reached an agreement in principle to sign Ousmane Dembélé from Borussia Dortmund, with the France forward now expected to become the second most expensive player in history in a deal that could be worth €150m (£138.4m).

The outrageous price tag aside, I do think he is a very good signing for Barca.

makes more sense than Coutinho for sure

presumably this means the deal for coutinho is off now right?

they were supposed to be after both of them

Dembele will take Neymar's place in the front three. Coutinho would play in midfield

Uh paulinho

Wow. I've never even heard of Dembélé!

0 US mane

Dortmund signed him for €15m from Rennes one year ago. Only has a handful of caps for France too xpost

A fella would get to thinking it's not too late to be a million pound footballer yet tbh

He scored 10 goals in 49 games, plus 12 assists (of which 10 were to Aubameyang). I can see him link up with Suarez and Messi in the same way.

xp otm

Dembele still looks pretty raw but you only need to watch him for a bit to see why he's so highly rated. fast, but not just in terms of being able to beat defenders in a foot race. even when he's only moving at 70% it's like he's in fast forward compared to everyone around him. ridiculously two-footed and turns like a ballerina. amazing to think where France might be if him, Pogba and Mbappe develop to match the hype

Yeah, France in theory are out of this world. Guess we'll find out when they play sad Holland next week lol.

Euro 2020 is gonna be the one

That's the one being played all over Europe isn't it?

WC Russia 2018
EC All over the place 2020
Qatar 2022

^^ dire run.

I've come around on the multiple locations idea now

if only cos one of them is Dublin lol

Yeah maybe it's not that bad. But it's just so cynical: how can we get even more money out of this?! Wait, I know, get 13 countries involved instead of just 1 lol.

oliver burke looks like a cartoon
https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/c98830692448fbb96c3e81c1d9a4d7eee1916b94/621_717_4115_2469/master/4115.jpg?w=620&q=55&auto=format&usm=12&fit=max&s=eed7fabf7f277fad4ae872e2ef49dc51

https://images-cdn.9gag.com/photo/apvBrNb_700b.jpg

Mendy time. pic.twitter.com/WQhXqenLME

— Manchester City (@ManCity) August 26, 2017

is that a Cure pun

No.

holy shit

(Charlie Daniels just absolutely cunted it into the top corner)

Yowza

well it was a nice dream

Jesus as you like

oh ffs

bollocks

fans on the pitch like they're on dis ting too -_-

and Sterling red carded

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/live-experience/cps/624/cpsprodpb/vivo/live/images/2017/8/26/29a928a1-0ba3-4659-8bfc-28e6afe88a66.jpg

We've got hell on today, the first real quality Prem side, really. Murder! That Billing ball should have been a Mounie tap in.

Huddersfield look alright and in control, but vulnerable at the back twice now.

in some parallel universe the other Mounie is on a hattrick today!

the pressure is escalating on Southampton, I like it!

Despite missing two huge chances Mounie looks the part, he's good in possession as well.

Mooy must be one of the best passers in the league.

he is fucking awesome, and stats will back up he is in the top 3 of passers in this league, at least!

Wow. This is the shocking tackle from Britos! #watfordfc pic.twitter.com/HVp70mrv55

— HCT Views (@HCTviews) August 26, 2017

How long dya reckon before the commentators stop being surprised that Huddersfield can play football? It's pretty annoying

the worst is when they come out with that old chestnut about them being not able to "maintain the intensity in the 2nd half and will tire" bollox. when they clearly haven't looked at our late goals stats from last season. And know nothing about Wagner's intense fitness regime.

Pundits: they don't get any smarter

Don't tell me ye missed mayo for this

If I want to watch some insane old Irish guy repeatedly shouting "C'mon Toime!" at some fucked up mutation of football, there were school fields where that kind of shit used to go on in the 80's over here. But that's in the past now!

Tomorrow three weeks 3pm sharp I expect every one of us to do their duty

Is it on in the pub I ask myself?

Well that Lukaku pen was fucking shit

Dunno, I enjoyed it

:)

Indecisiveness about playing Martial or Rashford really paying off

Oh fuck off

Fellaini's jam selects itself

Lean mean ManU machine <3

Has any other promoted team ever gone for their first three games without conceding? Serious question.

1998-08-15  Newcastle United   - Charlton Athletic  0-0
1998-08-22  Charlton Athletic  - Southampton        5-0
1998-08-29  Arsenal            - Charlton Athletic  0-0

were relegated even so

Another interesting fact is that Redfearn was in that team, and no side with that ugly motherfucking face in the crowd at a Dewsbury EFL rally in it ever stayed in the top flight. According to MOTD it was all about the 2 chances they didn't put away, not really a good reflection of our overall dominance and the multitude of chances we created over the 90 mins. But never mind, I prefer dislike to condescension any day.

lol I meant to put EDL, but Redfearn is so entwined into 90's EFL history!

Everton are muck

Sanchez in the Arsenal team

Welbeck preferred to Lacazette up front...

And Mignolet 'rested'? Rested from what?

Neville and Carragher ripping Arsenal to shreds lol

Davies and Son reminding me why they're bench options. Rest of team like a well oiled machine, they're giving it away for fun

Stunning counter attack goal from 'Pool

Bizarre incident between Alli and lowton there. Alli gets foul, lowton lucky not to break a leg, probably the right idk?

outstanding mane goal

this is an Arsenal performance for the ages

Mane goal was fucking great

xpost they'll concede another couple of goals yet

Amazing :D

and it's a paddling

salah looks useful

Arsenal so bad it's starting to look like self-sabotage.

That Karius though, yikes..

Wenger Out season starts earlier every year

This is a cracking game at Wembley tbh

Wembley: Theatre of Deems

Cannot overstate the gulf between every other player in our team and Davies

And I mean sissoko is now on the pitch

Exhibition stuff at one nil up

idk idk

Alexis smirking on the bench again

could look this up but electing to ask here: is Spurs actually on tv? I'm in Gareth Bale's awful sports bar, 20 screens all showing the Arsenal game

Arsenal: 0 shots on goal today

Not that I'm aware mencap, I'm sopcasting

Burnley all a sudden look like utd 99

Oh trippier trippier trippier

Just cost poch his job imo

yeah score just flashed up. christ

There was absolutely nothing to that game until 84 minutes. We were pissing about after scoring, training ground stuff. With a few minutes to go they started going direct and we were last in countering and slack in defending and tbh it was completely deserved.

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/aug/27/liverpool-arsenal-premier-league-match-report

posting only because the first sentence is just astoundingly bad, I haven't read any further

"Three games into a new season, it is not being wise after the event if the thought should occur that maybe it would have better for everyone, not least Arsène Wenger himself, if he had guaranteed a happy ending after winning the FA Cup in May and spared himself these kind of ordeals."

Oof

Paid per word perhaps?

thats taking the piss altogether

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBOT0Tqpbag

paid per if per sentence

"Huddersfield have spent fucking more than us!" :D

He needs to chill, 4th is still up for grabs!

"He needs to chill" is a good tagline for Arsenal Fan TV

I feel very bad," Seri, who sat out Nice's 3-0 loss to Amiens at the weekend, told the Catalan newspaper. "I'm not going to lie to you, I'm really hurt. For me, football has always been a party, a source of joy.

"I didn't play with Nice this weekend because I didn't have my head on football. My dream to go to Barca has been broken, and that -- for me -- is terrible.

"The conversations between the two clubs went from bad to worse. As far as I can tell, I've not left Nice due to financial reasons.

"After the [Champions League playoff against Napoli] I met with Barcelona's directors for more than an hour and they didn't tell me anything about not going through with signing me. I went home really happy; then the next day I read the news. I was stunned.

"I went to the Nice offices to see the board and find out what happened. I exploded! The walls shook. They didn't say anything to me, they didn't look me straight in the eye. They had promised me one thing, but didn't keep their word and asked for more money."

Seri said his agent had received a five-year contract offer from Barcelona, and rejected the suggestion the Catalan club had pulled out of the deal because of his below-par performance in Nice's loss to Napoli.

"Do you think it's true Barca would pay 30m for a player they don't know?" Seri asked.

The player's agent, Franklin Mala, claimed last week that Paris Saint-Germain had called Nice and offered to pay more than €40m "to screw Barca over."

Seri, who was also linked with a move to Anfield earlier in the summer, said he would be open to joining PSG, Liverpool or another of the European giants, although he still hopes he could make a move to the Camp Nou.

"I want to be optimistic and think there are still options, that the clubs will sit down and talk calmly again and reach an agreement. We're not just talking about any club where you go just for money. I want to join one of the big European clubs, like Juventus, PSG, Arsenal, Borussia Dortmund, Liverpool...

"For example, Roma have made several offers. I have spoken many times to Monchi, but the transfer didn't happen for financial reasons. Monchi got tired of the Nice board! Roma is a good option, but nothing like Barca!"

Liverpool have agreed a club-record deal to sign Leipzig midfielder Naby Keita, with the player officially joining on 1 July 2018.

The Reds have agreed to pay the £48m release clause that will allow him to move next summer, plus an undisclosed premium.

The 22-year-old had been one of Jurgen Klopp's primary targets this summer, but Leipzig had refused to sell.

The deal will surpass the £35m they paid Newcastle to sign Andy Carroll.

Hmm

Good business imo. Liverpool ended up paying a lot less for him.

strange for a lad doing a medical to sign a deal for next summer

Not really. You'd want to check if his heart etc are ok.

i suppose yeah the medical is more long-standing conditions or whatever.

i think it's prob good business - he seems v highly rated and if they want him that much it seems good to seal it. transfers have been a lot better since klopp arrived.

Think it's a very good deal. RB Leipzig are in the CL this year. If Keita plays up to his standard and does well, he'd be worth twice as much next summer in this crazy market.

There's the bid for Thomas Lemar from Monaco too

The Ox is off to Chelsea for 35 mil

That's an absurd amount of money for a guy who's never managed to hold down a regular place in the Arsenal team. If Conte's planning on playing him at wingback then sack him now.

Yeah, I don't see at what position he'd be a first team regular at Chelsea.

£35 million not an absurd amount for billionaires to be paying in the current market for a 3rd choice winger / attacking mid / centre mid / utility man. Ox is a total wasteland obvs, but the prices are what they are right now

Thx autocorrect

Origi to Monaco and Lemar in return seems like a good deal

if Liverpool actually gets VVD and keeps Coutinho then this will have been a pretty decent window imo

OC to replace Moses? my arsenal supporting friends insist he was good as a wingback but I haven't noticed

They can't be getting Lemar and keeping Coutinho, surely? Where would he play?

lol as if squad building matters these days. you throw your money at whoever will take it, you get in whoever you can, you worry about where they fit in to the bigger picture later. though if Liverpool have got any pretensions at going deep in the Champs League and the cups while competing for the title, you need all the players you can get.

nailing on your 1st eleven and neglecting the bench isn't gonna get you anywhere unless you're out of Europe and only care about the league.

You don't buy someone for 60m+ and keep them on the bench

Even in 2017

idk, i disagree. already this season we've seen Martial, Morata, Lacazette, Aguero, Bernardo Silva etc. etc. - at the higher levels plenty of very expensive players have to put up with time on the bench as part of a rotation system. it's inevitable if you want the necessary squad depth.

if you're a team competing for trophies on all fronts at the highest level it's not a question of buying players for the bench. you need more than 11 players available if you're having a 55-60 game season, which is what all the big sides should be aiming for.

Lemar could theoretically play on the left of either the midfield or the attacking trio in this Liverpool system, he'll get plenty of game time.

Would imagine that janssen would've set you back at least 40m this summer and he's the epitome of a bencher

Sterling plus £20m for Sanchez?! If I was an Arsenal fan I'd be pretty fucking delighted with that...

Sterling LW Theo RW is some kind of platonic model of something

Sanchez is one of the most overrated players out there imo.

Sterling is underrated to about the same degree that Sanchez is overrated. He is also infinitely more effective than Walcott.

why? he's v prolific, fast, has great close control, can beat players

Sterling LW Theo RW is some kind of platonic model of something

― a hulking and impenetrable dump (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 29 August 2017 10:43 (twenty-six minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Wingers who were told to watch what Aaron Lennon was doing and copy it.

60m sprinters with feet too sharp for a football.

Wimmer to Stoke for £18m.

Wingers who were told to watch what Aaron Lennon was doing and copy it.

60m sprinters with feet too sharp for a football.

feel like "basically only got one move" comes into it too

Sanchez is one of the most overrated players out there imo.

This is an absurd challop but on the other hand you have to assume he's peaked now.

Schick's mum: So, how were you announced at your new club son?
Schick: Well...

🐵💻🦁👑🇨🇿🕶🦁🎶🐐 #Schick #ASRoma pic.twitter.com/JAIvKGYS7P

— AS Roma English (@ASRomaEN) August 29, 2017