I'm Also in the Library and It's Raining: WINTER 2018/2019 GAY THREAD

There!

raining in my heart.

Totally raining in my heart. Also guys that sounds like a beautiful day.

It is very frozen where I am recently and it's been a pleasure to take the dog for a walk out on the ice, watching her scrabble around like she's got wheels-for-paws.

Today I am starting on a score for a documentary about climate change

Hi gays!

Freezing here too—there have been three days in the last week where I deemed it unsafe to take the dogs for a walk. The one is really pissed at me and has been sulking around the house like she’’s suffering from melancholia.

Currently reading some Butler and Sedgwick in order to flesh out my in-progress dissertation chapter on queering the school story. Fun! (No, really.)

Love the winter so much
Everyone seems to have such a terrific day ahead, digging the creative vibes
I aim to get started on a new ambient project this weekend, trying to learn a new program though which is a pain and a half

i'm at work. my shoulders are tired and sore. i need to dig out some good stuff from the collection of a "ufologist" today. going to be not-frozen but overrun by book people next week in pasadena at a book fair.

that sounded grumpier than i meant it to. rooting for yalls creative momentum.

:-) wtf is a ufologist? O u mean like ufos?

haha yeah. an eccentric amateur ufo enthusiast / investigator who wrote a bunch of books like this:

https://www.mysticlink.com/assets/images/product/039911_5fd33fb2217974980d812843de04896c.jpg

Whoa, these things still exist?

yes, many books last for decades or longer.

(I meant the gay threads.)

We're trying again, like Janet Jackson in 2015.

Today I am starting on a score for a documentary about climate change

Anglin' for that Oscar again, I see.

An extremely nutty gay acquaintance messaged me this week that he had dinner in a NY coffee shop in the '70s with Douglas Sirk and Rainer Werner Fassbinder. He said RWF smelled bad.

you're surprised

between movies, plays, writing, and venereal disease, you think he bought Speed Stick?

I was not surprised, but took it as proof that he wasn't fantasizing.

I just watched the first thirteen minutes of "Before Sunrise" (never seen it or the sequels) and why are all his films like this
Every one of his movies is an endless conversation I would excuse myself from irl

not ALL of them, just those Befores and a couple others.

The homoerotic college baseball movie is different.

Good morning! I am waking up with Enya this morning. I have a pretty crazy thing to say: at this stage of my life, I enjoy Enya more than I do Kate Bush. !!!

Hi Eric!!! I hope all is well in your world.

Update, essay finished. Bought myself a completely unrelated book to celebrate.

that's awesome! sounds like you feel good about it. congratsixo :-) what book did you buy?

I'm also in the library!

that was supposed to be congrats(ico) lol
this hangover is not doing me any favors!

lol, i bought a book by susan howe about chris marker. the essay was only okay but I hit send because i couldn't stick it any longer. I should mention that the library I was writing in, the SOAS library, is possibly the best library in London to work in:

https://bluesyemre.files.wordpress.com/2016/04/soas-library.jpg

Omg that's very cool

Lauren Berlant is a talking head in the doc I am scoring and her interviews are so fascinating that I took a break to read some snippets of "Cruel Optimism"

Berlant is cool; I’m pretty sure I read a chapter of Cruel Optimism for a class once. Her (older) essay on the Lisa goes to Washington episode of The Simpsons is great.

Hi surm! I still wish I could rock lip gloss b/c of you

:-) it's been so long since i've worn lipstuffs! but i have been wanting to get back into some fun face paints.

morning fellas! what's up today

This evening I'm probably going to ... oh wait, there's a separate thread for TMI stuff.

Finish the sentence with "see Cold War."

ohhh a TMI Monday!!! Now that's ballsy.

I'm like ready to "get out there again" after a winter's worth of not being out there. I feel like Diane Keaton in Something's Gotta Give.

omg of all the D Keaton films I... forgot almost immediately

lol i love that movie, Amanda Peet is a genius

wow hi everyone

stevie!!!! how are you pup?

life updates:

I have been working IT at a university for the past 3 years
I am dating someone in Boston who is basically a made-up queercore Wuvable Oaf fantasy come to life
I'm gay, still

surm I still think about you on a fairly regular basis, like something every couple of months reminds me of your unbridled effervescence and joie de vivre

also plax I am considering visiting London in the next year if you still live there?

My boyf and I have been dating for 8 months or so and I still cannot believe how hot and smart and cool he is and that someone as awesome as him also finds me hot and awesome??? It's like two people who feel out of each others leagues. He has an encyclopedic knowledge of house and disco, a huge Gengoroh Tagame tattoo on his thigh, 4 cats, and a position as executive director of Boston's lgbt film festival, who IS this person???

a made-up queercore Wuvable Oaf fantasy

I have no idea what this reference is, but I want you to explain it to me in person.

stevieeee that all sounds fantastic and honey, i think about you too. i've actually been following your romance on the Facebook and it just seems so lovely. i'm glad you found him.

this my boyfriend http://www.fantagraphics.com/wuvable-oaf/

omg that IS your boyfriend
hi stevie!

Every time I see a photo of your boyfriend I feel like I'm seeing a post-credits happy ending vignette

I had a nightmare last night about my ex-bf yelling at me, and I woke up and it was 4:45am, so I walked down to the 24/7 to buy a stupid kombucha (it's a good sleep aid, oddly). I walked by an early-riser whose car was stuck in a snowdrift and I stopped to help him shovel and push. It took about 12 minutes and we were successful, he offered to buy me breakfast but I declined. I went on to the store and bought the stupid kombucha and walked back in the snowy night with frozen fingers. I washed my face and applied a moisturizer by a company whose former CEO killed himself a couple weeks ago. I got into bed and my boyfriend asked me what was wrong and I told him about the nightmare and cried a little. He drew me in close and told me he loved me more than anything else in the world. I went back to sleep for a few hours and then got up and made scrambled eggs, back bacon, sliced tomatoes and rye toast. My back yard is 3-feet deep in show and I enjoyed watching my dog struggle to navigate it while she was doing her morning pee. When she came inside, I sang to her, "Audrey you're a young dog, good dog, playing in the yard, gonna be a big dog someday / you got snow on your face, big disgrace, wagging your tail all over the place / we will, we will walk you". Then I got some e-mails from clients asking for revisions and I am waiting for phone calls with further instructions. I am listening to Morton Feldman's 2nd String Quartet (again, it's been on repeat the last few days).

"Audrey you're a young dog, good dog, playing in the yard, gonna be a big dog someday / you got snow on your face, big disgrace, wagging your tail all over the place / we will, we will walk you"

I love it! I improvised dog-related song parodies all the time, the ones that have stuck in our house being those based on Sheila E's "Holly Rock" and the "Marty Moose" song from National Lampoon's Vacation.

In gayer news, I recorded Querelle from TCM the other night and am both excited and slightly nervous to watch.

I'm getting close to three years with my dude, and it's like I don't even recognize myself anymore, reading previous gay threads.

I should use a moisturizer, I'm 31 and people often guess mid to late 20s so I guess I have decent skin so far in life and I'd like to maintain that? Should I get an SPF facial moisturizer?

THREE YEARS !!! ??? does this mean you've learned to enjoy life's carnal pleasures???

Up to and including last night, yeah! (We were hoping to host a third, but the weather outside was frightful.)

I feel like we have all grown so much

I'm growing right now.

Congrats, Eric!

SO
MUCH

No more growing for me, thx

nore of a show-er

After the just-the-two-of-us romp, we had someone else over to watch Cold War.

We're kinda boring, no?

Byron couldn't have said it more graciously.

plz come to New York when it's not cold, y'all

fg(ti)'s romance: what is love today?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTHOaWoiTnc

oh wow

I love it so much

:D

apropos of nothing I feel like some of you would enjoy this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DynEaqObnQ

Guess what song the expression "apropos of nothing" reminds me of
I feel like u can guess this stevo

all i wanna do
is guess this song

!!! :-)

Gays, claim your song/chapter:

Madonna: Classic Or Dud

who?

Morbs gets whatever's left over (probably "In This Life").

He can regale readers with his tales of lunches spent with Gershwin.

I could've touched her when she and Sean Penn were in mid-grope in the summer of '86 (Metropolitan Opera House aisle after a Robin Williams stand-up show). Instead, I squeezed past. Walked on by, you might say.

*owned, bitchez*

hi y'all

i'm drinking rose cava and listening to sade

it's pretty gay

I'm eating a quarter of a pink cookie and sipping cab and about to watch Morbs' beloved They All Laughed.

I hope there's weed in that cookie

He Didn't Laughed

He never Her

I don't know what that's a reference to but it's a reference to something, that's for sure.

i actually thought of "you never her" at work the other day and lol'd

what is it?!

oh, i did mean to write "you never her" not what I wrote there.

oh fuck, it's an ILX only meme.

Clearly none of you ever her

never been to her

I turn 40 this year and am going to Palm Springs. Prove me wrong.

I'm in the library and it's sunny. Prove me wrong.

I almost went to Palm Springs by accident a few years ago (we were headed for the Nixon Museum and made a wrong turn). "This is the desert," I said.

I was in socal for a few days this week and met the lovely Joe G.

So nice!!! He is a true gentleman. Did everyone have a good weekend? The boof and I just had a life talk, it was oddly refreshing. We're thinking about "next steps."
Fuck life is weird!!!

I spent the weekend basically watching all the Oscar nominated shorts. So my life is kind of what it’s always been?

That sounds wonderful. Any good views?

Yeah, more dissertation work (but not enough), putting together an application package for a teaching gig in the Spring, plus I watched Happy as Lazaro (which I liked a lot). Lots of dog walking now that the cold snap is (temporarily?) over.

Eric: same question. I liked Fauve quite a bit, thought Bao and Animal Behaviour were kinda meh, and haven't seen any of the others.

I flew to Boston to see my boo for 72h, it was so lovely, I love him so much

A friend photographed me throwing a football yesterday afternoon.

I made him watch Rent which he has never seen, which I didn't think he would enjoy but wanted his commentary on as a gay Gen-X filmmaker w his own brushes w addiction and it's basically a play written abt ppl like him but for a mainstream audience. He didn't hate it as much as either of us thought! But we both agreed that it was largely wack and v straight-white-male-gazy. He said it felt very USA Today.

Fauve was awfully good. Detainment awful, thoroughly awful. The docs were all kind of middling this year, though I thought the aesthetic choices Black Sheep made were interesting.

I actually didn't watch the animated ones yet, not sure why I said "all" upthread.

I watched a Korean film at MoMA on Saturday night, then didn't go to a sex party bcz i was too tired,

^your futures

lol which party? Stevie that sounds so nice! USA Today is a great descriptor fwiw.

Also a great newspaper!

yes i've heard! my home island :)

I was looking through this old gay thread -- The Sun Is Shining For The First Time In Forever; We're Gay! Fagz Club Spring 2010 -- and ... we were all a lot nicer to each other back then.

Except Morbs.

Oh c'mon, I kid bcz I love.

surm it was the br00klyn m3atpack3rs

Had these threads kept going, I would've known who else to invite to lunch a couple frigid Saturdays ago with Morbs and j0rdan

3 is enuf in most situations

totally concur, i actually prefer 2 for the most part, i have a pretty short attention span!

nice and gray here today but someone needs to call the weather channel and have them turn this temperature down back where it belongs

don't do it

Boo's been watching that ridiculous thing about Gianni Versace on tv
it's disturbing tbh

Also overblown. Best episode concentrated on David Madson imo.

yeah it's a little rushed or something, i dunno it could have been more interesting

what's everyone got on tap for the weekend?

Dinner with friends, writing, cleaning the kitchen cabinets.

oh i'm reorganizing my kitchen drawers! lol.

(that sounds nice)

Not this weekend, but next weekend, I'm taking an enforced two week vacation with no computer no phone. Two weeks at home just reading, cooking, swimming, lifting, boyfriend, dog, shrooms, friends, practicing music. I'm looking forward to it extremely

omg. heaven!

last weekend I was in Boston, this weekend is Part 2 of rearranging my apartment that I started 2 weeks ago. Closet has already been reorganized, and an unwanted ottoman placed in the closet. Next up is a desk moving to where the ottoman was, a nightstand moving to where the desk was, a new TV unit being assembled, all my DVDs moving onto the new TV unit, and then the dozens and dozens of books lying around my apartment going onto the old DVD shelf.

awesome.

I feel that I like everyone who posts in these threads and who has posted in them over the years. It has improved my life in a small but significant way. I know conversations started happening elsewhere because they started taking place on facebook so these threads died a little but it has been very meaningful at times to connect with you all.

I dunno what inspired that but it's worth saying.

that's a really nice way of putting it and i very much agree

I'm not on Facebook, so these threads are my only lifeline to the gays of ILX.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjVNlG5cZyQ

I wish I has said it more eloquently. As I recall, I've met three people from these threads, boxedjoy is a good friend of mine that I'd never have met were it not for them. There are others I consider to be friends, even though we have never met.

I will be watching old movies on a big screen, bcz it is a weekend

I don't know what I'm going to do, but a lot of it will be spent in bed.

I have a mild cold, my first since December 2017. Nevertheless, I'm going to work out in a minute and watch the new Soderbergh.

<3 jed. i very much agree. communities, of all forms, are important.

i have a friend's bday this weekend and other than that i am relaxing the fuck out. gonna write some music, do some shopping, ya know, eat stuff. maybe line up a date?

This thread's resurgence, I trust, means Facebook is really and truly coming to an end.

i mean, seriously. it's some bullshit. like stop talking about yourself and your opinions cuz honestly, i can't take it anymore.

My boyfriend and I have found an apartment and we’re moving in together

He really is the greatest

That’s wonderful! Congrats!

My weekend (and the foreseeable future) is going to be more dissertation work. I also have The Rider and Support the Girls out from the library, but kind of feel like watching Annie (RIP Albert Finney) for the first time since I was eight or so instead.

why was I being so sentimental last night? o_O

I’m feeling kind because I’m in the throes of a depressive state right now, and if it feels like there’s not a ton of kindness coming my way, at least I can try to send it out

I’m happy for you, fgti! I remember what a thrill it was to move in with mine. Didn’t hurt that it also let me sell my old place after years thinking I could never

i need to be rescued from my apartment. however,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Ml-yCLSNh4

i'm working today and tomorrow. not hard work really, just listing books. i'm trying to find some equilibrium because i realize i'm at a time and a place where i can recuperate a little bit, financially and emotionally, for which i'm grateful, and i need to take advantage of that and try to keep my path from meandering too much.

on the other hand, it's so fucking boring in moab! i've been dreaming all day about clubbing, lol. i want to do a big gaycation in a few months, maybe dore alley. lazy bear weekend looks like a lot of fun. but i need to make it to california sooner than that too, maybe l.a. for a few days in march. i had a surprisingly fun, hot and romantic one-night thing with an ex-dancer there last week that maybe stirred me up a bit too much. *sigh* lol sorry this is a little princess-diary but this is the gay thread after all, and i'm VERY glad surm started a new one.

Don't ever apologize for being too princess diary!!! I also need to get back on the club tip. I'm finally in decent shape again and like, if I don't push myself soon I never will. Love me a dancer!

Fgti that's so exciting! What's the place you're moving into?

Eric hope you're hangin' in xxxx

I've triumphed over a mild hangover, the result of mixing a Sazerac, scotch, and, at a friend's new apartment, rosé. I have professional writing and a Saul Bellow bio to finish this afternoon.

Good morning!

Omg that is a like sending a embossed personal invite to a hangover I'm impressed

My DVD player broke so I was stuck with On Demand and Netflix this weekend. Ended up watching a documentary on Rachel Dolezal.

Back to writing this afternoon.

Very good joke surm

Last night I was with Kyrell and Kate and Kyrell said “Kate, your dad is SO HOT” and I said “wait, is your dad Polish or Korean?” and Kate said “Neither! He’s Czech!” and Kyrell said “we’ll I’m certainly Czeching him out!” and I said “Kyrell that joke was terrible, waiter? Czech please” and Kate walked away and Kyrell said “I think she missed our funny jokes” and I said “ya she czeched out”

lol you're good

okay 'tis the week when i decide how to start going out again. alone? make a plan with someone? i'm going to be out and about on Wednesday anyway so it seems like that's my night. i haven't held a conversation with a handsome stranger in a MINUTE. it's going to be supremely freaky.

I need some time off ffs

One more week until my non-vacation vacation

so exciting! if i get sick from my boo, i might have to take an unintentional vacation. i'm beginning to realize this getting people sick at work thing is real.

I feel, and appear to be, dumpy, both in the feelings and in the mirror, and I am excited to be at the gym/pool for two-hours-a-day on my ""vacation"".

you can do it! dumpy only takes a few days to address IME.

I turn 40 this year idk
The dumps are harder and harder to scrub off with every passing year

hmmm ive seen some recent images, not dumpy imo

but i havent been to a gym in decades, and yet still draw interest (of a kind)

I'm sipping a Negroni and grading papers for my film class. #hardtimes

I turn 40 this year idk
The dumps are harder and harder to scrub off with every passing year

This is entirely true. Five years ago, I could've slimmed my way out of dumpy in a matter of weeks. Now I am planning to get them gone by my birthday in summer.

Which will be my 40th which means they'll still be there.

Yeah, sometime in the past five years I passed a threshold where it's like "you can work as hard as you can, but you cannot achieve what you desire". I'm planning on upping my daily activity to 2 hours a day as of this weekend and seeing what comes first, fitness or injury

Having to give up running was a shitty thing but my fitness-forward aunt and uncle were like "oh yeah, once you turn 35 or so you have to stop running and start swimming, no biggie". No biggie? ugh. I'm glad to know meniscal pain is just a normal thing that happens though

Glad to know I have to start parading my mostly nude body in public just when the wheels are starting to really fall off.

Swimming is awesome. A disciplined week or so in, I start to feel like a catamaran skimming across the surface and I feel like I could easily swim to Cuba

I LOVE SWIMMING
i can go for hours
ok not hours but like an hour
never ran lol

just when the wheels are starting to really fall off.

you'll have the tires, though.

let's make lots of money

Embrace your dumpiness and enjoy the attentions of daddy-loving 23-year-olds.

Alfred, let's compare your film syllabus to KJB's and figure out the ratio of planned absenteeism.

i wish i could just gain all the weight but psychologically i just can't let myself do it
but i LOVE food
recently i've developed a sweet tooth which was never a big thing for me in the past
now i totally understand it, it's almost more of an emotion than a taste...
like shortbread or...
linzer tarts or...
a sesame croissant

Alfred, let's compare your film syllabus to KJB's and figure out the ratio of planned absenteeism.

― a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius),

Online classes, love mutton.

you chomp on mutton as you teach, like Welles' Falstaff? hot

The new place I'm moving into has a nice front room with an old hardwood floor that is calling out for a rug

I went and looked at rugs and was looking through the Beni Ourains

The woman asked me "why do you like these rugs in particular" and my mind screamed "because I'm gay and gay people need Beni Ourain rugs thems the rules"

(I didn't get one bc $$$$$)

i don't know them! i love a good rug, they really do change the whole space. are you thinking about a certain color motif?

I've given up, they're just too expensive. I'm looking at cheaper options now. And yes, I found a dream rug but it was 3 grand

omg. i am really happy with my rugs but i do need a new one for the bedroom.
i've gotta get myself a new dresser! just got some nice shelving from west elm which i'm happy about.

i hope some day i'll be able to find and afford a nice rug (and live with it in my own place without housemates). since i'm living in the southwest i feel like i could start getting into navajo blankets.

i mean, they're kinda great. so i don't think i ever updated you all on my night out on the town. well, it was a disaster. i got so anxious at the bar, i hopped on my phone and pretended to talk have a conversation with someone for 10 minutes, and 2 and a half blocks down the street to the subway home. i know. i told you, it had been a while.

i tell you this tale in the hopes that i can help some other poor nerd like me with a similar penchant for his phone.

i won't let this get me down but like, damn. it was a shit night.

i'm sorry you had a bad night surm! i haven't been out in ages because everyone at the bars always seem to know each other and never seem interested in meeting new people

ummmmmmmmm i met someone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3qw2vcWSJs

omg! that's awesome. tell us more!

and clouds, i would totally be interested in meeting you. i'm usually really into meeting new people, i guess it just takes me a minute to back in the groove.

clouds is a sweetheart

yes, I was thinking about you the other day, clouds, as I was manicuring my pothos.

i had a very intense weekend with someone i'm now making lots of plans with / for

clouds is a lovely fellow who knows all the music

okay you want my advice? well, you probably don't but here it is anyway. TAKE IT SLOW.

After praising an acquaintance on Instagram for his gorgeous hair and wishing I could kiss him son, he texted and said he'd been in eyeing me for a while. We made plans to meet at a friend's birthday celebration at a bar tomorrow night. He's a congressional aide.

speaking hair to power

I read “kiss his son” and I thought “wow that’s some power flirting”

Same

speaking hair to power

Something Alfred and I know all about.

I met a lovely man, Benjamin, from Ghana who now lives in Scotland (it was actually a hook up rather than a date). He's a foot taller than me lol. We spent the night together and hung out the next day. I hadn't realised that English was the lingua franca of Ghana and was his first language so there wasn't a barrier or anything like that, which was good and he was funny and very charming. Anyway, we made loose plans to meet up a week or so after but, In the interim, I got a message from another prior hook-up to say that he had chlamydia, christ. So I knew I had to get tested, which meant I'd have to wait a few days then a week for results and also knew that I'd have to contact Benjamin and he was very worried because, while he's single he is not out (homosexuality being illegal in Ghana). I kinda talked him out of his worry, chlamydia being easy to treat with antibiotics, but I think I might have fucked it and I had been excited about it. He's a big shy man with little experience, I'd guess. I hadn't asked, of course but I could sense it. I don't know if I have it but I have been tested and now have to wait for the result. I guess I'll see what happens but aaargh...

oh i don't know, jed, when they're skittish like that ... in any case it sounds like you're doing it right imo.

okay you want my advice? well, you probably don't but here it is anyway. TAKE IT SLOW.

― surm, Thursday, March 7, 2019 9:11 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

thanks surm :). i should know this pretty hardcore by now. let's just say i'm not going to make any big-risk decisions up front like i have in the past. i've honestly needed to hear from someone who can offer me a little perspective, because i'm feeling bewilderingly luv-high rn, so thanks again.

Thanks map!

<3 i mean jed, the thing is, there's always the "if only" with someone exciting but like, life doesn't operate on if onlies. he sounds wonderful but the truth is you will probably have chlamydia again. and yeah i think map nailed it, like if he's scared off by chlamydia.... so think long game i would say.

and map as a great woman once said have so much fun just don't have amnesia!

I am going to Boston TONIGHT to see my beautiful boyfriend for 5 days!! We are going to see Robyn on Monday, too.

You are going to LOVE Robyn! I was having a miserable Tuesday and she turned it the fuck around.

Also, I gave up alcohol for Lent (not for religious reasons, I just think Jesus would want my body to look as good as his), and damn it's been sobering in more than the obvious way.

omg i'm going tonight! (to Robyn)

I"m, like, a medium Robyn fan? She's OK. I'm sure the show will be fun but I am not like zomg so hype so stoked

Eric what's the most illuminating thing about not drinking?

I haven't had a drink in 2 weeks, but bcz i have been a mucus factory.

I've considered a month-long detox for the hell of it but I'm in the best shape of my life now. My yearly checkup's on Monday, so we'll see.

how can you tell? up to 6 martinis/day?

Those martinis keep burning fat and leaving muscle + bone.

Breakfast of champions!

Eric what's the most illuminating thing about not drinking?

Well, I'm only my third day in and it's felt like a week. So that's a reality check.

Also, I've never been in worse shape than I am in now.

I'm not a major, major Robyn stan either, but when "Dancing On My Own" kicked in, it was a jolt.

ugh i don't think i can hear that song tonight i'll be a messss

this morning ended well

not over yet!

not to every drug store has sold its last pill

Do tell, Alfred

I'm one light fixture away from being set up in my new apartment with my boyfriend, the dog loves it here, we love it here. Last night I sat down on my new rug in my new library next to the teak bookcases we got for $200 and lit a bunch of candles and listened to records with my friend M and ate blueberries and small cubes of cheddar cheese.

I suspect what did it for us was dancing to "Silent Morning."

dancing, ugh

so my long-distance partner (A) whom i haven't seen in about 5 years is coming up to visit today and meeting my boyfriend whom i live with (E) for the first time ever apart from online interactions. he'll be staying with us for a few days so we finally all get to be in the same room. i really want us all to be together like a big gay ferret pile so i'm excited and nervous!!

At the faculty clinic this morning for my yearly checkup a medical student conducted the preliminaries. I was pretty sure he's gay, confirmed by the quickest of glances in my direction when I answered the question about my sexual partners' genders. When the doctor came in, he hovered behind her in assistance; we kept exchanging glances. "Very nice to meet you," he said without my prompting as I excited.

He's quite cute. I found on him Instagram and Facebook. Would it be odd to friend or message him?

Yes

Yes, definitely a bad idea.

Just last night a doctor friend was telling us about how frequent he gets people hitting on him and how frustrating it is. It's not that he doesn't find it flattering (he usually doesn't), it's that there is no easy way for him to negotiate the professionalism he's required to maintain

I don't have any STIs FYIs. Got my results today.

congrats, jed!

I met this guy for coffee. I'm texting from his bed.

j/k. Thanks for the advice, y'all.

i got new shelves too goon tie! now i'm destined for a dresser.

i had a very good weekend but i am firmly TAKING IT SLOW

I love my new apartment. It sounds so affectatious and Portlandia but there is a disconnected room with a cast-brass chandelier and candles everywhere and the record player and books and a big nice rug and the dog and a couch and a filled-in fireplace and the wifi doesn't reach it and a bay window and I am extremely very happy

as I excited

I'm in the library, it's not raining.

i had a very good weekend but i am firmly TAKING IT SLOW

― macropuente (map), Tuesday, March 12, 2019 3:58 AM (two days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

YESSSSS tell us more when u get a chance

hey goon i think we have similar lives, sometimes i just sit and look around my apartment and breathe deeply

Alfred i am jealous of how academic your life is

we're trading travel weekends, getting to know each other, sending gooey texts

i gave him a willa cather novel. he likes georgia o'keefe. i introduced him to agnes martin. i want to do a santa fe / taos trip with him.

he gave me an eckhart tolle audio book to listen to on my drive and i really liked it, agreed with it all. i have no idea how uncool that is and i don't care very much.

map, you're unexpectedly sweet in this mode!

map these posts are lovely

thanks guys. i'm truly a puddle lately.

yeah, I'm not sure how I'd respond if a guy I liked gave me an Eckhart Tolle "book" after I gave him Willa Cather.

congrats!

I'm basically married at this point, and there are still days where I am a puddle.

I just awoke from a salmon carpaccio nap and am reading The Sacred Fount.

i'm trying to arrange a foursome for this summer

I won't be there before August, sorry

Currently celebrating our two year anniversary with a trip to NYC

We are drinking sake and eating scoopy tofu

Really, NYC is such a nice place to visit

:-)
i'm so glad people are puddles and traveling and stuff!
spring is hitting here, it's gorgeous out
i'm getting serious about some personal business today
self care levels are about to hit the ceiling

It's raining!

So I liked Giant Little Ones a great deal more than Love, Simon.

I liked Simon, but yes, Giant Little Ones is better. It's more engaged with the complexities of contemporary queer identity and, for whatever reason, I just found the lead to be more empathetic than Nick Robinson (or Timothée Chalamet, for that matter). Also, while climactic parent's-affirmation-of-child's-sexuality have become obligatory in these films, I liked Kyle MacLachlan's speech in this film a lot better than Michael Stuhlbarg's overrated one from CMBYN.

I drew that parallel, too. Giant Little Ones's "speech" is basically an act of de-escalation tho, compared to CMBYN's broad overture.

I didn't strongly dislike Love, Simon either, more so than I recognized its maximum usefulness to me would've been about 20 years ago.

good morning

i did that thing last night where i came home and ate pasts straight out of the fridge with my bare hands
not sure what this says about me....

PASTA

it says you are gay

otm

so my boyf is the exec director of Boston's lgbt film festival (it's called W1ckeed Qu33r lol) and he was telling me about all of the movies and how excited he is abt them

I'm going to Boston for the tail end of it so I'll get to see him in "film festival" mode which I am excited about!!

i have never done that

xxp

That's cool, Stevie!

is that in June?

That’s awesome Stevie

My bf and I had a fight about how liberally he was chasing side dick but it’s over now

Not the relationship, the fight is over

I think he wants to introduce a regular piece into the mix and happily I really like the guy— am not personally attracted to him—but would happily cook dinner for them both while they do their thing

xp it's late March/early April

My bf and I had a fight about how liberally he was chasing side dick but it’s over now

Any arguments I'd have with my dude on this issue would probably stem from differences in libido. But that's a best-case scenario. It's never an easy conversation.

I mean, Esther Perel has become my new gay diva as of late.

I had to look her up.

To clarify, she's not gay (that I know of) and doesn't talk terribly often about gay couples. It's just: I'm gay, and I like her, hence she becomes a diva.

Yep, that checks out

I'm gay and I'm at the library, therefore

I'm trying to think of funny things to say to the staff while I have radiation therapy the next two weeks... They had to lay warm mesh on my face to "map" my head, and I sassed "This is the weirdest barbershop ever."

Patch Addams

oh i forgot my clown nose

wait, he was a doctor

Morbs <3

I am hungover and my boyfriend and I have been together two years and he made a nice Instagram post about it and I cried when I read it

surm do you have any feelings abt The Dixie Chicks? I was listening to "Wide Open Spaces" today and thought of you

Watched 1985 this weekend and it reduced me to a puddle.

oh, i want to see that. the trailer was giving me massive "parting glances" vibes.

told you!

they're screening that at Philly's gay film festival, maybe I should go see it

yes you should – and it's short.

I just checked and it's at 5pm, which is when I get done work across town, wtf? I'll just get the screener from my boo

it's on Amazon too

surm do you have any feelings abt The Dixie Chicks? I was listening to "Wide Open Spaces" today and thought of you

― vision joanna newsom (Stevie D(eux)), Sunday, March 24, 2019 11:38 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i LOVE this song. i really don't know their catalog but some of their songs are just so well-written.

so ummm i may need to talk to someone whose been through it about ... arthritis

yup i said it

IT'S OUT THERE

I spent Sunday morning appreciating the physique of dirtbag Adonis actor McCaul Lombardi in last year's Sollers Point.

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:McCaul_Lombardi_-_Sollers_Point_Movie_Set_DSCN5860_(2)_(29038594006).jpg

he cuuuute

Like you said Morbs, tattoos are pathetic.

https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5CdRJk5EykA/WZSyxfZNytI/AAAAAAADZCY/RUaIy7oF6yUjA4T4GIMhTbQw5uUcCHjBACEwYBhgL/s1600/McCaul%2BLombardi%2Bunderwear.png

He's beyond basic. You can find that on sale at the 99 cent store, kinda basic.

he'd be better w/out em, E

all his modeling shots are p godawful in fact

Oh I was thinking actually of getting my first tattoo this year. Some bumblebees on my shoulder that's all

I don't care for that sultry-faced wet man's tattoos, but I do enjoy the creases of his lower belly and wish my belly still did something similar

i'm also thinking about my first tattoo this year, a raven on my shoulder

Perhaps off topic, but the past three weeks I've been involved in a dispute with my former landlord about the state in which I left the unit. We resolved our dispute today and I am gaily heaving sighs of relief about it.

I'm Cancer and avoid conflict to a hysterical extent. I can relate to the almost spiritual relief I feel whenever a conflict is resolved.

xp oh that's great news, congrats!

i'm also a cancer and hate conflict.

Oh, same... I don't avoid conflict so much, I'm happy to engage, but I get physically ill when things become acrimonious and/or are left unresolved. I really like my former landlord, like, a lot, but he wanted to withhold an immense amount of my deposit for stuff like "the oven stopped working" and when I pointed out that it wasn't my responsibility to fix appliances (legally) it got really ugly really fast. I don't know what caused him to suddenly have a change of heart today but it went from me expecting a process server at my door to me waiting on the cheque he has now said is in the mail in a blink-of-an-eye. Hooray for resolution, feels good

fgti, I got tickets to see Jeremy Dutcher in Glasgow next month - a concert and a lecture (about Wolastoq culture and language). Veeeeery much looking forward to that!

I have cancer and love conflict!

I thought you beat the cancer! I am sorry to hear you are in conflict with it once again

And that’s awesome, Jeremy is so so great

I hadn't hear of him until today.

and all the best to you, morbs. <3

Sorry to hear, Morbs.

Hugs, Morbs.

I'm in the library. Let's grab lunch.

I'm doing fine (under the circumstances), the cusp of financial ruin caused by the illness is 50x more terrifying right now. If anyone has a salaried job w/ benefits for me LMK.

Jfc. Hugs. :-(

oh babe i'm so sorry :(

can i post in here? i think about dicks a lot

oh gosh i posted without reading the last few posts and im sorry i just dropped in like that. im sorry morbs

Morbs thinks about dicks just as much.

i'd need to see marcos' stats

<3 lots of love to you Morbs, you strong guy.

Marcos tell us more about your thoughts.

ok y'all
what's happening this weekend?

Friend's birthday at a brewery, ye gods.

Former friend turned peripatetic weekend lover tomorrow night, I hope, before Seattle next weekend for MoPop pop con.

taxes

Kaurismaki and Denis retros

whoopee partee i hope to stay awake for

well, Denis and taxes are all we're certain of.

what's a whoopee partee??

https://i.gifer.com/1I4S.gif

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jY9BvrcGsGw

the kind of party where you check your pants, surm

oh right

i mean

at this point i'm kind of wondering if i'll ever have sex again

and i'm not like upset (yet) i'm just wondering

i hooked up with a dude whose dick was the exact proportions of a red bull can

How was it? I enjoy big dicks once but prefer normal dicks long-term

I think with age definitely comes that particular bit of wisdom.

Or.. like you just get into a relationship with somebody with a big dick and realize that it's a lot of work to attend to on a daily basis

... daily?

...yes

Even my libido is Cancerian

Even when I've had boyfriends I've never had daily sex.

I'm being overly dramatic. I actually think I have sex about as often as I'd like these days.

big dicks are a lot of extra work

also yes I was too exhausted from rep cinema to stay up for the sex soiree

my weekend was VERY gay, I went to Boston to visit my boyf and it was also the last weekend of the lgbt film festival he's involved with and I went to 6 screenings in 3 days including Knife + Heart which I loved so, so much

i mean... i don't really think they're that much work

xp
and stevie that sounds rad!!! love a film festival

i was hooking up last year with a guy who had pretty much the perfect dick... big enough to be big but still very enjoyable on a regularly basis (tho i'm not a bottom so...). and he had huge balls to boot

anyway my boyfriend is flying in from london for 4 days tomorrow ;_;

good boning!

<3

It's Boning Men: SPRING 2019 GAY THREAD

I am on my way to Montreal where I am shooting a video. I am planning on visiting my ex who I’m told has been living like a college kid since I moved out, house piled high with grocery delivery boxes. My current bf is having ACL trouble and I wish I was home with him online shopping for braces. Electrelane’s first album costs over $100 on vinyl, who knew?

I guess it is spring, right? New thread?

Anyway I do love big dicks, but I can only perform on them for more than 10-15 minutes before I’m like “sorry dude that’s all I got”

I haven’t bottomed in over a year at this point :( I don’t know what is wrong with me, zero desire for it

I don't think we need a new thread ever 3 months anymore, we should just have yearly ones

the gay TMI thread is underused :)

I have too little information.

Now that sex is actually a regular part of my life, it doesn't feel like TMI anymore.

I just stopped caring tbh

new spring title

yearly is fine but a new title would be fine too.

Did anyone see The Miseducation of Cameron Post? It's pretty good mostly but turns over exactly as you'd expect it to it's set apart from most of these things by some excellent performances and a truly stunning turn from Chloe Grace Moretz.

I really like that John Gallacher Jr. fellow too.

Better than Boy Erased.

I recommend the novel of Cameron Post over either film (though, yes, CP is the better of the two films). The film basically adapts the last third of the novel, so even if you have seen the film, there's a lot that will be fresh.

thanks for the rec! I was surprised that D A managed something so controlled. Not really something I'd have expected from her. her UK TV thing "The Bisexual" was embarrassing. Maybe she should only make things she isn't in and aren't about her. I mean, she should definitely not be in them, to be clear.

surm don't you just love this picture of Patricia Richardson from 1994

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e9/Patricia_Richardson_94.jpg

how was it? I enjoy big dicks once but prefer normal dicks long-term

― flamboyant goon tie included, Sunday, April 7, 2019 10:32 AM (five days ago)

like really filling but almost gentle, but when he pulls out it's like your soul is being removed

we fucked again since i posted that lol. he's amazing.

anyway my partner and i are flying down south in two weeks to visit our other partner and i'm so excited to go camping and revisit my home state for the first time since 2009(!)

How marvelous to get laid at conferences.

that's what they call em now, eh

The first time I bottomed big I felt like I was being fucked by the entire world and everyone in it and I O’d almost immediately so I had an excuse to make it stop

lmao I just saw S4muel Del4ny on Scruff and apparently he lives 2 miles away from me

i love that picture of Patricia Richardson but to be fully honest why am i not familiar with that name!!?

i had a sleepover the other night! it went well.

also can anyone talk to me about their experiences with public speaking

i used to be good at it and these days my voice shakes and i don't like that

I'm teaching my debut public speaking course in the fall. Ask me then!

oooh i'm sure you're very good!!

i'm still into this guy, even more now. we went camping over the weekend and explored slot canyons har har. it was delightful.

<3 that makes me so happy! new love in spring! oooooh i said the l word

as have we many many times :D

awwwwwwwwwwwwww

so i had a guy over last night and we did the whole hang out and watch vids thing. you know, it was like, fine. i mean, i think i'm ready for a new phase. like a little more cute and meaningful. there's this guy who i met a year ago or so who i've been planning to see again. similarly "nerdy" like me, super cute and we had this night when it was just very sweet and gentle. i miss that kind of thing.

yay map

it's Friday and i'm not sure what i'm going to do tonight. i don't feel well today but like, whatever. i've pulled myself out of the funk before. i think i smoked myself out of my cold last night.

i always just eat pho whenever i'm not feeling well nowadays

he pho's clouds

Blechh!

I went to a local musician's memorial today and got pretty emotional about it. My commitment to sobriety got sidelined by a couple of boozy nights out this past week and I'm feeling shitty about my lack of discipline. Got teary-eyed at the memorial feeling like "I need to work harder to honour my body and my time on this earth" etc.

Anyway aside from that everything is peachy good, happy boyfriend happy dog happy me

I'm eating an arugula salad and grilled cheese and watching an 1985 episode of Murder, She Wrote.

We're heading out for drinks with friends in a few for my birthday, after which I'm hoping we have time to catch a late screening of Giant Little Ones, which I've seen already but want to see again with the hubby.

it'sa my birthday on Sunday, and I will be seeing the Aretha film and having a margarita. Then I will be trying a month of premium LinkedIn as a final attempt to rescue my solvency.

(also i'll be paying the 3 medical bills I received this week, see above; thx Obamacare)

Hey! Happy belated :-) I hope you thoroughly took advantage of the day.
How are things going with the cancer Morbs?

Alfred I watch so much MSW sometimes I worry about myself.

no active daily problems aside from getting infused, surm

cash infusions more concerning

Happy birthday Morbs!

<3
it's a beautiful day out in NYC today but it's getting to be that time of year when it is just too damn hot for me

already? surm you are in big trouble for 5 months then

i know i'm really trying to pace myself here....

Him: Try on those pants, maybe they'll look good on you
Me, putting on pants: How do they look?
Him: They look great. Good pants for a flat butt
Me: ...
Him: They didn't look good on my bubble butt
Me: ...
Him: Awww you have a nice butt, cute butt
Me: Your breakfast sandwich is on the table Captain Juicybutt
Him: Awwww is somebody feeling... butthurt?

So that's what couples are like.

lol indeed they are

Can confirm. I used to be the good butt in my relationship, and there's been a bit of a role reversal lately.

I used to be Captain Juicybutt myself, been demoted to Sargeant Dumbass

Who am I kidding, I've never had cheeks.

My Issue 1 origin story goes like I was born and there was no ass on the infant's body, and my mom looked around the hospital room and grabbed two grocery bags and a stapler off the nightstand and affixed them to my tiny lower back and here we are

I hate this tweet:

Mayor Pete is HBO’s Looking — gentrified , sexless , boring and cancelled !

— cancela lansbury (@gossipbabies) April 24, 2019

Mostly its comma placement, but also everything else it encapsulates about Twitter, identity policing w/in the gay community, and latent monoculture advocacy.

Like, Mayor Pete is Netflix's Schitt's Creek -- toothless , humorless , boring and mystifyingly surging in popularity !

My reaction to this tweet feels like my whole life summed up -- the arc of a period I deeply wished I was normal moving inevitably toward a period I deeply wish I were less normcore. (Though there's just about nothing more norm on Twitter than cancelling two things at once.)

i canceled "cancelling" the day i heard it

i have NO ASS. and i'm not ashamed of it. the bee definitely has the juice, and gives me his old pants often....
so i had another sleepover yall with a guy named Michealangelo. it was swell, he was great. ON TO THE NEXT. I AM DETERMINED.

onward!

I realized simultaneously that I’m irrationally attracted to the musician Josh Homme and that he also looks like what Bart Simpson would look like if he ever grew up

haha he totally does

ok nothing since Michelangelo but my ambitions are not flanked.

Meeting a young man last Friday of unspeakable beauty who turns out straight but wants to immediately set you up with his bi-curious good friend is one of life's more bittersweet moments.

u shoulda turned him owwwwwwwt

omg

I have a shaved head now

gonna trot it out at neighborhood leather night

!!! what will u wear?

my only leather jacket? maybe an A-shirt under

I only have stubble in patches on my head, so i kinda look like Globey from Pee-wee's Playhouse

it's at Excelsior if u wanna drop by :)

I'm at the library!

oh, the leather night was a week early this month, so fuck that.

ok so listen to my birthday plan

a drink at the village vanguard, then ALIENS at IFC at midnight tomorrow, and THEN a nightcap at pieces!!!!!!!!!!

ah i coulda seen Aliens on Mothers Day

i might go to Pieces if i'm awkake! it'd be almost 3 tho

haha same cuz of the late movie! i'll look for you :)

thats what i meant :D

Happy early birthday!

:D :D thank you

I have fewer than 50 days left before I turn 40. :-/

you're still pretty fly. welcome to full adulthood!

and the AARP spam

omg i get so much aarp spam

so like i gained 10 pounds

i don't know how i let this happen but i keep eating pints of ice cream

i think i'm not gonna stress it?

I too have gained about 10 pounds in the last couple years. It’s all happening. It’s finally happening.

i mean here's the honest thing about it
i really do think i'm ok looking with a little pudge and makeup looks better on me when i have the baby fat
so WHATEVER
also i'm sure your ten are like toned and aerobicized

mine (more like 30 lbs) are not, and the boys in their 20s like it

ok that's encouraging

hey y'all !!

i ran into Stevie yesterday at the local farmer's market. it was a very lesbian moment for two ilx gays.

kisses,
tabes

hey table, hope you are well! x

i want to meet gay friends at farmers markets!

<3

It's not gay but it feels gay to walk in the sun to the market to get the natural deodorant and the hair oil I like

Also, completely bizarrely, I didn't know who Cazwell was until 30 minutes ago

i love arm and hammer natural deodorant, it's the only one with the texture and consistency i appreciate

I use Weleda. Very sagey

i use Aesop but that's because after working there for several years i literally have trouble with any other scent.

I love Aesop but $$$$ so I switched

yeah, i know. i figure that most deodorant that costs $7 lasts me a month, so spending $35 on one that lasts me 4-5 months is okay, though i might just be justifying one of my only very bougie spending habits.

i've stopped wearing deodorant :p but i'm not a very smelly guy so i can get away w/ it almost every day esp in fall/winter/spring

i got expensive french deodorant as a gift but it was an anti perspirant & it made my pits weirdly sticky so i don't use it... ive just been using tom's when i do indulge

I used Tom's for a while but it gave me a rash (!)

my indulgence is hair gel or wax

(no surprise)

i have no indulgences, esp when Mallomars go away in the summer

soooooooooo i just had a chicken sandwich thing from shake shack and it was game changing, i really didn't know

their burgers are a consolation in the Loop

can i ask you guys like a gay tech question
ok, as gay people, do you own a apple or pc computer?

Apple

which model??

PC

what kind A? i'm getting a thinkpad!!!!!!!!!!!!

a Dell laptop

do i need to b worried about viruses?

Almost two years and none to speak of besides the mild flu I got in 2018

:) awesome

iMac, about 10 years old.

oo i like those, i wish i had a desktop

MacBook pro, five years old, new harddrive at beginning of 2017 (got in right before Applecare expired). had slight dent on screen from when a drunk lesbian decided to show off her nunchuck skills in the house.

lord, have i told y'all how many places i've lived since i was last active on here? i don't even live in California any longer lol.

nooooo, give us a rundown? it's good to see you here.

All right, surm asked for it.

So, Theo and I are still together. After being homeless for a month in early 2012, I went hopping freight trains with him and our best friend Amanda. Came back to Oakland and ended up sharing a room in a fucked up house with some queer methed out witches. we were there for about 8 months.

The meth took over and they kicked us out because we asked them to not smoke so much meth, so we bought a used 14-foot UHaul box truck in hopes of outfitting it into an RV. while doing modifications and repairs, we lived with Amanda in her room in a fucked up drunk-punk/crust punk squat filled with heroin and lots of bad, mean dogs. we lived there for about four months, then moved into the truck permanently and parked next to our friend's warehouse, where we stayed for the next nine months. it was a nice period, to be honest, because the neighborhood was friendly and filled with other weirdos living out of their trucks and vans, so there was some community solidarity.

then we decided to rent a room in a house a few blocks away to use as an office/studio. we lived there for about a year and a half, sleeping in the truck while doing the rest of our daily activities in the house. rent was cheap, we lived with good friends, it was a nice time.

eventually, because we'd been spending a lot of time there, we took a chance on moving to a hobo/railroad museum in far northern California for the winter. we were caretakers there, and while it was fine but a little hard at first, our lives were eventually threatened by this crazy methed out dude named Croatian Mike, and we started keeping a gun next to the bed in our cabin. we got him kicked off the property, but it was a scary time. eventually, we left the land (despite being told we could stay) because of conflicts with some of the racism and bullshit of other people living there (long story short— one of the other residents was constantly talking shit about us, but it turned out he was a junkie who eventually got kicked off the property).

for four months we lived in the truck on our friend's off-the-grid property at 4500 feet above sea level on the eastern flank of Mt. Shasta, about 10 miles and a fifteen minute drive to the town of McCloud, CA (pop 1500). we had an outdoor kitchen, an outhouse, and built some fences and other infrastructure out while we were there.

eventually, tired of the lack of opportunity in the area, we moved to a queer sustainable farming project in Los Molinos, CA, a small farm town near Redding and Chico. that worked out for a while, we both had jobs and the farm was beautiful, but then some interpersonal drama with other residents caused us to leave in a rush. so, after 6 months, we moved to Chico proper.

there, we lived in a small studio on the property of this very weird faerie dude (lived at Short Mountain and Wolf Creek at various points) for six months...though after two months, we decided to move to Philadelphia, as my parents were having medical issues and we were tired of trying and trying and sort of just scraping by in California.

that was 2017. we up and moved across the US, got a crummy slum apartment, lived in it for 9 months, then bought a cheap house in the same general neighborhood, and have been here for about a year.

so, between 2012 and 2019, i lived in nine places, ten if you include the weed farms we occasionally worked on for more than a month at a time.

oh wait, eleven places if you include the philly spots. lol.

so, maybe that explains my absence here for the past however many years.

damn dude. that's a mighty hard tale and i think it's amazing that you made it through all of that, and with some lols to spare. what a crazy thing that we've all made it back here to witness the journey of the past seven years. life is some crazy shit. i hope you love your house and that you are happy with Theo <3 keep survivin'

Oh wow, I missed that post over the weekend. That's going to make a hell of a road movie someday.

a queer sustainable farming project

Show me how to grow queers!

Send self-loathing, closeted ex-congressmen to Coachella.

lol. xpost, it was actually a really great project, but living with two very sensitive folks who are more "primitivist" than "reasonable" was... difficult to say the least. like, they'd buy irrigation tubing without holes in it because it cost a few cents less than the tubing with holes in it per yard, but then would spend days making holes in the regular tubing. just really pathological cheapskate shit disguised as being "environmentally concerned," tbh.

i'm also glad to be back! hi again, y'all <3

<3

It's June, so here's my (by no means complete, occasionally updated) Pride playlist:

https://open.spotify.com/user/cryptosicko/playlist/4RnlBWPlB2tuxnxvLXZFDV?si=ZSSPXIq4Qzm4ToV1mNEi5g

John Ashbery - self portrait in a convex mirror

oops wrong thread.. the reading and gay threads have similar names rn

well, Ashbery was queer (and I love that poem).

:-) i just ate a whole box of unicorn fudge stripes

I last ate those when Reagan dozed in the Oval Office!

never heard of em

Honestly, a straight pride parade is probably the best possible PR for gays.

xp I bought the "Self Portrait in a Convex Mirror" book of John Ashbery poems many years ago and have never let it go, it is really great

as always I want to revive some Gay Shame events

Well, reread "Self-Portrait in a Convex Mirror" then

:)

I have, many times!

All things happen
On its balcony and are resumed within,
But the action is the cold, syrupy flow
Of a pageant. One feels too confined,
Sifting the April sunlight for clues,
In the mere stillness of the ease of its
Parameter. The hand holds no chalk
And each part of the whole falls off
And cannot know it knew, except
Here and there, in cold pockets
Of remembrance, whispers out of time.

it's amazing how each time you read a poem like that you come away with something different

that's an interesting read there

I'm in the library and the sun's out!

do we need a spring/summer thread?

Do you need spring/summer head?

my favorite Rosanne Cash couplet.

i just got some but i need more
i've been on a bit of a STREAK

Ashbery was really important to me as a young queer poet, but I haven't read him in years because at a certain point, he started kind of doing the same thing over and over and over and over again.

Not trying to shit on him— his first books and the somewhat later "Flow Chart" really shaped me. (To drive this point home, I've read "Flow Chart" three times, and wrote approximately 35+ pages on Ashbery as an undergrad and grad student lol).

"at a certain point" = 1976, essentially

(i'd put it a little later, but yes)

Sooooo something super weird happened to me this weekend. I had a zoloft induced dissociative fugue. It was so weird I called my friend screaming I have no idea who I am. Scary!!!!!

I hate all of the SSRIs I've tried. some of the weird side effects occurred almost immediately upon starting (tight jaw, grinding teeth, strange dream architecture) and some took weeks to appear (most disturbingly a complete sexual numbing), and I never felt any therapeutic effect.

Was crazy scary but in other ways I do feel it is helping
Medicines are weird man

i went off Lexapro many years ago after a careful titration down. best decision i ever made, but that was for me.

until this whole cancer bullshit i'm dealing with now, i hadn't taken any pharmaceuticals regularly in more than nine years (!!!). to say i have a wicked distrust of the medical industrial complex would be an understatement.

I never felt any therapeutic effect.

my experience too. i'm also wary of pharma -- i'm putting off starting an antibiotic i was recently prescribed at my first doctor's visit in about two years.

i guess i'm going to be a resident of salt lake city for a while.

i'm going broke from i.v. drug use for my cancer, thx Obamacare

How's it all going Morbs, health-wise? What's the prognosis, if it's not too difficult or upsetting to talk about.

Yeah, Morbz, how's it going?

I have my final radiation treatment tomorrow! Surgery later this summer.

I'm on a new regimen post-radiation, too new to evaluate yet. I feel OK except I'm still way damn tired. So my primary concern is my finances.

<3 Morbs

(ie I need a staff job, not a gig, that'll pay for more of this)

I may hook up with a guy who wrote, "I love kissing in tents."

that sounds kind of hot

Florida in June? Yes.

lol

I should've known my date with a hot Montrealian would go awry when, after texting for a few minutes last night, this world traveler according to OkCupid and high school English teacher wondered if we couldn't eat at PF Chang's because he'd read they serve "good Asian cuisine."

At 6 p.m. tonight he tells me that he doesn't drive. The P.F. Chang's is 30 miles northeast of me.

oof. yeah, missed a bullet there. a hot bullet, sure, but a bullet none the less.

job interview on Monday that might rescue me from ruin

no pressure, though

good luck, morbz!

same!

Get the job Morbs rooting for you

yes

thanks all

gl morbs