I hear he's in a ditch now
― Οὖτις, Friday, 1 November 2019 19:52 (four years ago) link
drowned iirc
― sarahell, Friday, 1 November 2019 19:52 (four years ago) link
*cough*
― Οὖτις, Monday, 6 April 2020 19:40 (three years ago) link
*gasps*
― Ludo, Monday, 6 April 2020 19:40 (three years ago) link
cough the fuck away from me
― TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 6 April 2020 19:40 (three years ago) link
Keeping the thread warm, good maintenance
― la légende d'beer (Matt #2), Monday, 6 April 2020 19:40 (three years ago) link
One thing the US libs and the UK hard left can agree on
― xyzzzz__, Monday, 6 April 2020 19:41 (three years ago) link
shakey u hero
― ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Monday, 6 April 2020 19:43 (three years ago) link
RIP, may heaven grant you hair that doesn't look like a shit
― Unparalleled Elegance (Old Lunch), Monday, 6 April 2020 19:45 (three years ago) link
Boris Johnson, great-grandson of Ali Kemal Bey, is now "the sick man of Europe."— Gary Alexander (@grylxndr) April 6, 2020
― mookieproof, Monday, 6 April 2020 19:45 (three years ago) link
boom
― TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 6 April 2020 19:46 (three years ago) link
That's worth a LOL tbh.
― Did somebody just say eat? (Tom D.), Monday, 6 April 2020 19:47 (three years ago) link
salute to Comrade COVID
― COVID and the Gang (jim in vancouver), Monday, 6 April 2020 19:47 (three years ago) link
Goodbye England's rose ... y gammon ass.
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 6 April 2020 20:02 (three years ago) link
Is there a protocol for what to do with this thread if he does drop off the perch?
― la légende d'beer (Matt #2), Monday, 6 April 2020 20:03 (three years ago) link
You dowse it with your favorite sparkling wine.
― TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 6 April 2020 20:03 (three years ago) link
COVIDEO Killed the Brexito Star (but not really unless it's a covincidence)
― dow, Monday, 6 April 2020 20:04 (three years ago) link
oops https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-52192604
― dow, Monday, 6 April 2020 20:07 (three years ago) link
just in time to be resurrected on Easter
― frogbs, Monday, 6 April 2020 20:13 (three years ago) link
Nooooooo, when shakes does these threads they don't come true ffs
― Kier today, Dom tomorrow (Noodle Vague), Monday, 6 April 2020 20:17 (three years ago) link
they always come true, eventually
― Οὖτις, Monday, 6 April 2020 20:18 (three years ago) link
well, not the part where I wish them a peaceful rest, that's just a joke
― Οὖτις, Monday, 6 April 2020 20:19 (three years ago) link
It's very weird to wish ill health on someone, however, it's hard to think of him as an actual person and not a blight on society.
― Maresn3st, Monday, 6 April 2020 20:21 (three years ago) link
nothing weird about wishing bad on ppl at all imo
― ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Monday, 6 April 2020 20:22 (three years ago) link
i'm always very impressed at how hard and uncompromising shakey is. he crosses lines others wouldn't dare to cross, so amazing.
― treeship., Monday, 6 April 2020 20:24 (three years ago) link
vital content, truly
― treeship., Monday, 6 April 2020 20:25 (three years ago) link
If the "worst" should come to pass maybe they'll keep him like this till the vaccine comes through
https://i0.wp.com/www.pinkink.media/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/hitlers-brain-4.jpg
― la légende d'beer (Matt #2), Monday, 6 April 2020 20:25 (three years ago) link
treesh
trís a mhic
not only is this a beloved shakey thing
but this is boris johnson
this is not the hill
― ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Monday, 6 April 2020 20:26 (three years ago) link
Where's that Keegan jpeg?
― Kier today, Dom tomorrow (Noodle Vague), Monday, 6 April 2020 20:27 (three years ago) link
I think we're reaching peak corona threads now this one's edged into the mix
― la légende d'beer (Matt #2), Monday, 6 April 2020 20:28 (three years ago) link
#pray4boris
https://youtu.be/z0jw5qBgUuo
― Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Monday, 6 April 2020 20:29 (three years ago) link
Albini otm
― Kier today, Dom tomorrow (Noodle Vague), Monday, 6 April 2020 20:31 (three years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOti1xX8fdI
― Kier today, Dom tomorrow (Noodle Vague), Monday, 6 April 2020 20:32 (three years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_3oFRcTNHo
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 6 April 2020 20:42 (three years ago) link
Like every other person in the world who gets infected, whether BoJo lives or dies will depend entirely on his own body's ability to overcome the virus, since the only thing the ICU can do for him is force oxygen into his lungs via a ventilator. The rest is up to his immune system and major organs.
― A is for (Aimless), Monday, 6 April 2020 21:24 (three years ago) link
of state
― ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Monday, 6 April 2020 21:25 (three years ago) link
Hoping his major organs make the right choice
― brechtian social distancing (Simon H.), Monday, 6 April 2020 21:26 (three years ago) link
Did they toss someone else out of bed to replace them with him y/n
― nashwan, Monday, 6 April 2020 21:27 (three years ago) link
thats the question
was this ward at capacity
is he of a similar profile of illness to take up a scarce bed as anyone else
etc
― ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Monday, 6 April 2020 21:40 (three years ago) link
St Thomas & Guy’s has a private ward.
― extremely Dutch coughing sound (gyac), Monday, 6 April 2020 21:43 (three years ago) link
private ward, major organs
― ymo sumac (NickB), Monday, 6 April 2020 21:46 (three years ago) link
general hilarity
― Kier today, Dom tomorrow (Noodle Vague), Monday, 6 April 2020 21:58 (three years ago) link
I feel very conflicted on this. I had money on Bolsonaro to be the first to go.
― Frederik B, Monday, 6 April 2020 22:05 (three years ago) link
I think Bolsonaro is in considerably better physical shape than Boris... at the best of times.
― Did somebody just say eat? (Tom D.), Monday, 6 April 2020 22:06 (three years ago) link
+1 for herd immunity
― crüt, Monday, 6 April 2020 22:06 (three years ago) link
Awesome:
well im going to keep this brief. i overexerted myself while responding to emails and got put up in the hospital. i basically need lungs now— wint (@dril) September 9, 2013
― xyzzzz__, Monday, 6 April 2020 22:25 (three years ago) link
this is not a dril?
― ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Monday, 6 April 2020 22:29 (three years ago) link
the biggest tragedy here is the death parties will need to be held remotely or postponed
― aaaaeeeeeeoooooooowwww (Left), Monday, 6 April 2020 22:49 (three years ago) link
for obvious reasons, if the unthinkable happens, I have dibs on "BoJohnsonDeadverdrive"
― no feeble christ (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 04:00 (three years ago) link
this is a horrible thread
― Dan S, Tuesday, 7 April 2020 04:09 (three years ago) link
I agree, we need more optimism.
― brechtian social distancing (Simon H.), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 04:28 (three years ago) link
xpost good to have you cocking it up
― no feeble christ (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 04:37 (three years ago) link
the man is a racist, misogynistic, homophobic bigot. The party he leads has continually made decisions designed to make people like me suffer. His denial of the severity of the current pandemic situation has sent a message that this isnt serious and his shamelessness around shaking hands and seeing his family on Mothers Day is a key reason why people arent social distancing - that is going to lead to people making bad decisions and it's only a matter of time before someone I love contracts it and suffers badly or worse. He signed off on a plan that amounted to the Harold Shipman "they were going to die anyway" approach to pensioners and didnt care that these will be people's loved ones because they're not useful to the economy.
The world will not be a worse place with one less hateful, ignorant monster in it.
― boxedjoy, Tuesday, 7 April 2020 06:32 (three years ago) link
if he does die it will be easy to show how it is a result of his own actions. It might scare some folk into taking stronger precautions and help protect vulnerable people that I actually care about whose lives are endangered by the recklessness of other people.
― boxedjoy, Tuesday, 7 April 2020 06:42 (three years ago) link
if you think about it, dying of coronavirus is really the most selfless act of public service he could perform
― bam! Free bees! (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 06:46 (three years ago) link
So of course he will fuck that up too no doubt
― boxedjoy, Tuesday, 7 April 2020 06:51 (three years ago) link
if i understand it correctly, if he dies coronavirus gets to be PM?
― ℺ ☽ ⋠ ⏎ (✖), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 06:53 (three years ago) link
It would be terribly sad if our tory cunt of a prime minister who pushed the idea that we should just all go out and get covid so as not to disrupt the economy too much via enacting social distancing measures dies from same.
― COVID and the Gang (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 06:55 (three years ago) link
Pfft at these naysayers - the very best doctors are on the case. Trump opened his press briefing today by announcing he'd dispatched 'two of the leading companies, these are brilliant companies' to go to the UK and help treat Boris Johnson (without naming the companies), and reassured the press that he’s offered a 'complex set of treatments' to Boris Johnson, and that 3 people from drug companies are at his London hospital with 'everything with them should it be needed.'
― donald failson (sic), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 06:55 (three years ago) link
Let's hope it's not til Friday as I can't afford a nice bottle of pét-nat til I get paid
― COVID and the Gang (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 06:56 (three years ago) link
If he were to pass away from this that is definitely something that would jolt a lot more people into taking Covid more seriously.
On the flip side, there is a very real risk that should this happen he will be replaced with another Conservative, who may also be unsuited to the role and possibly worse
― anvil, Tuesday, 7 April 2020 07:01 (three years ago) link
Hell yeah, gonna kill Boris by shooting him up with some mercury leftover from a 19th century syphilis treatment
― Greta Van Show Feets BB (milo z), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 07:02 (three years ago) link
Heartbreakingly I think he's gonna pull through
― Kier today, Dom tomorrow (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 07:33 (three years ago) link
if he did die his death certificate should ascribe it to hubris
― estela, Tuesday, 7 April 2020 07:38 (three years ago) link
A funeral service probably the only way to learn how much offspring he has. At least give your kids that ffs.
― Hey, let me drunkenly animate yr boats in about 25 to 60 days! (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 07:41 (three years ago) link
― bam! Free bees! (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 07:41 (three years ago) link
A funeral service probably the only way to learn how much offspring he has. At least give your kids that ffs.― Hey, let me drunkenly animate yr boats in about 25 to 60 days! (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, April 7, 2020 5:41 PM (twenty-five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink
― Hey, let me drunkenly animate yr boats in about 25 to 60 days! (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, April 7, 2020 5:41 PM (twenty-five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink
I’m sure the limit on funeral attendees will thwart any attempt to count children.
― American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 08:07 (three years ago) link
I’ve heard 12 including the current oven bun.
― santa clause four (suzy), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 08:09 (three years ago) link
say what you like about the man but you can't doubt his commitment to avoiding sensible prophylaxis in all parts of his life
― bam! Free bees! (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 08:16 (three years ago) link
Just living his life.
― xyzzzz__, Tuesday, 7 April 2020 08:30 (three years ago) link
Now that's more than I would have thought.
― la légende d'beer (Matt #2), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 09:00 (three years ago) link
I don't especially want to experience what will happen to this country if he dies. Britain does orgies of performative public grief, outrage and stupidity like no other country.
Obviously every human life etc etc and this is a horrifying thing for anyone to have to go through but thousands of people are dying right now as a consequence of stupid complacent decisions made by him and his advisers. And nearly all of those didn't make a public point of going round a coronavirus hospital and shaking hands with all the patients to win an argument.
I would be very interested in who made the decision for him to that.
― Matt DC, Tuesday, 7 April 2020 09:08 (three years ago) link
I don't especially want to experience what will happen to this country if he dies.
― kinder, Tuesday, 7 April 2020 09:16 (three years ago) link
domcum has been an agent of the kremlin the whole time and saw his chance to snuff out bojo using the 'rona
fair play to the lad tbh
― bam! Free bees! (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 09:18 (three years ago) link
I got a letter from the government dead borisThe other daythis morningI opened and read itI wanged it straight into the bin
― calzino, Tuesday, 7 April 2020 09:26 (three years ago) link
the cumming is culling
― ymo sumac (NickB), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 09:28 (three years ago) link
Yeah I said this elsewhere but the prime minister sonning himself over a herd immunity beef is just an OD of Events and the national mood is psychotic enough as is
― Microbes oft teem (wins), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 09:32 (three years ago) link
This morning at virtual smoko our CEO asked me and the other Brit on the team if we thought Boris being in hospital would ‘bring the UK together’. Oh how we laughed.
― American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 09:34 (three years ago) link
irl lol @ cazino
― help yourself to another slice of apple ... crumble (Willl), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 09:48 (three years ago) link
"I don't especially want to experience what will happen to this country if he dies. Britain does orgies of performative public grief, outrage and stupidity like no other country."
I don't care either way but I'm not seeing performative grief or celebration. People are stuck inside, the funeral will have to be a quiet affair.
― xyzzzz__, Tuesday, 7 April 2020 09:52 (three years ago) link
Gofundme for emergency flight for the lads in Accra?
― anvil, Tuesday, 7 April 2020 09:54 (three years ago) link
https://imagez.tmz.com/image/bb/o/2018/03/03/bba02ef835095b4191c4ec711b58b80c_md.jpg
― Kier today, Dom tomorrow (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 10:08 (three years ago) link
lol
― majority whip, majority nae nae (m bison), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 13:17 (three years ago) link
bump
― i am a horse girl (map), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 20:01 (three years ago) link
Did he die?
― Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 20:02 (three years ago) link
yes
― bam! Free bees! (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 20:07 (three years ago) link
maybe, someday
― i am a horse girl (map), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 20:07 (three years ago) link
rip
― Microbes oft teem (wins), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 20:08 (three years ago) link
he's still resting fitfully.
― A is for (Aimless), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 20:16 (three years ago) link
this thread will see a great revivewhen boris johnson is not alive
― i am a horse girl (map), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 20:18 (three years ago) link
To be clear, I don't really want him or Trump or any of their pals to die from COVID-19.
― Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 20:20 (three years ago) link
Guillotine in the public square would be much better.
I was looking at some fairly accurate hospital data earlier today and his demographics give Boris right about a 50-50 chance. So there is plenty of room for hope for everyone in UK.
― A is for (Aimless), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 20:23 (three years ago) link
i can't figure out how to make my joke about a 4% swing in the most accurate predictions
― Hackers (1995) (Will M.), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 20:29 (three years ago) link
Aimless if that’s the data based on COVID-19 vs viral pneumonia in the ICU, 2/3 of the COVID patients in the data are still in ICU. So yes there is a 50-50 split on the remaining third, but the deaths are only 15% of the total number admitted.
― an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 21:11 (three years ago) link
iirc odds get significantly worse once you are actually put on a ventilator. No illness>no symptoms>mild symptoms>worse symptoms>hospital>ICU>ventilator. With age, gender, general health and so on somewhere in the mix.
― Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 7 April 2020 21:15 (three years ago) link
disgusting vile behaviour from these people pic.twitter.com/N0GLxAyE4N— lewis (@lewisxzxz) April 7, 2020
― extremely Dutch coughing sound (gyac), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 21:41 (three years ago) link
omg absolute genius
― Kier today, Dom tomorrow (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 21:47 (three years ago) link
iirc odds get significantly worse once you are actually put on a ventilator.
why do they keep doing it so
― ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 22:10 (three years ago) link
he dead yet
― Bo Johnson Coviddied (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 22:29 (three years ago) link
how bout now?
update?
― Bo Johnson Coviddied (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 22:30 (three years ago) link
Schroedinger's Pillock
― American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 23:33 (three years ago) link
https://i.redd.it/cy9gnkntkhr41.jpg
― bam! Free bees! (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 08:14 (three years ago) link
Ash...no
"He’s a son, a father, he’s a human being. Politics is immaterial at this point.”Ash Sarkar and Martin Daubney put their differences aside as they discuss the Prime Minister's illness.@AyoCaesar | @MartinDaubney | @TheJeremyVine | #JeremyVine pic.twitter.com/OuwW29NZYD— Jeremy Vine On 5 (@JeremyVineOn5) April 7, 2020
― xyzzzz__, Wednesday, 8 April 2020 10:15 (three years ago) link
you know who else was a son, a father and a human being?
― Kier today, Dom tomorrow (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 10:17 (three years ago) link
This is the correct take:
why the fuck should that dissembling racist prick - the embodiment of posh English arrogance - use one of the ventilators or ICU beds that he's taken away from so many others? Stop with the sympathy, let the bastard splutter.— michael (@Sisyphusa) April 6, 2020
― xyzzzz__, Wednesday, 8 April 2020 10:19 (three years ago) link
the old Trotsky quote about "papist Quaker babble" applies here I think!
― calzino, Wednesday, 8 April 2020 10:19 (three years ago) link
this one goes out to my boy boris, get well soon kinghttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DSVDcw6iW8
― bam! Free bees! (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 10:27 (three years ago) link
That’s Daubeney’s quote. Ash stuck to empathising with Carrie Symonds.
― santa clause four (suzy), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 11:16 (three years ago) link
Daubney does care more about men than women - boys especially tbf.
― Did somebody just say eat? (Tom D.), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 11:25 (three years ago) link
Vardymir Putin?
― anvil, Wednesday, 8 April 2020 11:45 (three years ago) link
Tbh I have sympathy with Ash Sarkar considering the volumes of racist abuse and death threats she gets for saying anything critical. Not her hill to die on.
― extremely Dutch coughing sound (gyac), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 11:47 (three years ago) link
All Lives Matter
― anvil, Wednesday, 8 April 2020 11:48 (three years ago) link
brb love bombing a racist
― xyzzzz__, Wednesday, 8 April 2020 11:59 (three years ago) link
mods can we pls have an i love bombing a racist board
― bam! Free bees! (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 12:06 (three years ago) link
No 10 has provided an update on the prime minister’s condition, sent by St Thomas’ hospital. It said: “The PM remains clinically stable and is responding to treatment. He continues to be cared for in the intensive care unit of St Thomas’ hospital and is in good spirits.”
Day 2 of bozza hijacking an IC bed and care he doesn't need. Fuck that immensely fit fuck forever.
― Hey, let me drunkenly animate yr boats in about 25 to 60 days! (Le Bateau Ivre), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 12:13 (three years ago) link
He is going to be in that bed for weeks.
― Frederik B, Wednesday, 8 April 2020 12:23 (three years ago) link
is anyone offering any odds on the outcome at the moment?
― Boris the Spreader (NickB), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 12:24 (three years ago) link
Basically when Paddy Power pays out on him having died you know he's going to pull through.
― Matt DC, Wednesday, 8 April 2020 12:26 (three years ago) link
It's fifty-fifty, I guess
― Frederik B, Wednesday, 8 April 2020 12:30 (three years ago) link
Assuming 100% he'll pull through, life just isn't this good.
― xyzzzz__, Wednesday, 8 April 2020 12:53 (three years ago) link
The rona comes on in waves every few days, he will get the next one soon enough - then we will find out whether he's going to make it or not.
― Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 12:57 (three years ago) link
Your going home in an envolope!
― calzino, Wednesday, 8 April 2020 13:01 (three years ago) link
if i were prime minister boris johnson infected with the novel virus covid-19 i would simply not get better
― mark s, Wednesday, 8 April 2020 13:04 (three years ago) link
If there was a choice I'd take my chances with the fictional version of civid 19 as well.
― calzino, Wednesday, 8 April 2020 13:13 (three years ago) link
Lol prefer civ xi actually!
― calzino, Wednesday, 8 April 2020 13:15 (three years ago) link
ok so of all my pals across the UK internet listening gloomily for any borisclapping last night, only one reported hearing anything at all, a pal in nhs admin in south london. Her description reminded me of this:
this is a sick country pic.twitter.com/jX8YbP5obC— boomsday prepper (@AliceAvizandum) April 8, 2020
When she saw it just now she said: "YES that's him! It's exactly what it sounded like."
― mark s, Wednesday, 8 April 2020 13:24 (three years ago) link
Happy to report there was complete silence at 8 where I live, barring some karaoke action coming from a flat.
― calzino, Wednesday, 8 April 2020 13:32 (three years ago) link
shirtless pan man boris fan still less deranged than this guy
Earlier this evening, I took part in the #ClapForBoris. I was joined up and down our United Kingdom by those who wanted to show their appreciation to our Prime Minister.His response to the #COVID19 pandemic has been nothing short of heroic! pic.twitter.com/VCL0lY7uOt— Jordan Jacobs (@jordanjacobs180) April 7, 2020
― bam! Free bees! (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 13:36 (three years ago) link
is his hair growing out of his brain
― TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 13:37 (three years ago) link
What brain?
― Did somebody just say eat? (Tom D.), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 13:41 (three years ago) link
Are they saying "boo" or "Boo-ris"?
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 13:45 (three years ago) link
Dressed like a cross between an amateur magician and a wine bar waiter who has had to provide his own tuxedo.
― Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 13:45 (three years ago) link
#clapforbots
This Govt is so inept it can’t even gaslight us without getting busted: pic.twitter.com/JuyUHKWEpU— Winston Smith (@2019_winston) April 8, 2020
― Non, je ned raggette rien (onimo), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 13:46 (three years ago) link
Sometimes I start to think that my perception is distorted by unexamined prejudice
― a slobbering sombrero moment (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 13:46 (three years ago) link
harder than ever to penetrate the fog of garbage but if this is true (ffs don't bother with the thread, merrick is famously terrible):
The World at One have just played @BorisJohnson’s favourite song, Here Comes The Sun by The Beatles, “in the hope that it might reach him”. A simple yet very moving moment of radio. #wato— Stop socialising = save lives (@janemerrick23) April 7, 2020
playing a favourite sonf is what you do with ppl in comas that you want to call away from The Light™ and back towards wakefulness.
plus "stable" and "comfortable" are also both perfectly compatible with coma, induced or otherwise. "in good spirits" less so if my mum's non-induced coma of 2004 is any guide -- lol i have never seen someone in such a snorting fighting temper while also unconscious, they never show THIS on the hospital soaps -- but it's not like they're all sat ministering at his side. a torrent of frightened jostling serpents tbrr
― mark s, Wednesday, 8 April 2020 13:55 (three years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_eIZ7tWhak
― Unparalleled Elegance (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 13:58 (three years ago) link
I don't care how unimpeachably-terrific he is, I'm not contracting the clap for any PM, sorry that's just how I feel
― Unparalleled Elegance (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 13:59 (three years ago) link
the tweets BG has put in other threads, i will never stop posting them here
― mark s, Wednesday, 8 April 2020 14:03 (three years ago) link
why restrict yourself to just this thread
― bam! Free bees! (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 14:10 (three years ago) link
had to read 'stop socialism = save lives' a few times there
― ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 14:11 (three years ago) link
is he actually dying?
― treeship., Wednesday, 8 April 2020 14:21 (three years ago) link
why what have you heard
― ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 14:23 (three years ago) link
https://pics.onsizzle.com/Facebook-%C2%B7-3ef579.png
― bam! Free bees! (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 14:24 (three years ago) link
not as good at reading between the lines of news reports of some people here. would like some primo ilx analysis. xp
― treeship., Wednesday, 8 April 2020 14:25 (three years ago) link
ilx exclusive: he’s been dead since november
― bam! Free bees! (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 14:26 (three years ago) link
force ghost bj
― ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 14:27 (three years ago) link
thanks 4 new screen-name
― force ghost bg (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 14:30 (three years ago) link
His essence was squirted out into his innumerable offspring years ago, the devil child currently being incubated by the fragrant Carrie is the Final Programme of a centuries-long war between competing gangs of angels.
― la légende d'beer (Matt #2), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 14:30 (three years ago) link
We need to be more careful about electing disheveled caricatures as world leaders when they can be so successfully replaced with crude, life-sized puppets without anyone noticing.
― Unparalleled Elegance (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 14:30 (three years ago) link
what the hell is a blowgob
― ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 14:31 (three years ago) link
Life imitates Spitting Image.
― Unparalleled Elegance (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 14:31 (three years ago) link
xpost
or was it
― Unparalleled Elegance (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 14:32 (three years ago) link
it's sad. he is a scene from ghostbusters now.
― Nudeln und Klopapier Gore (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 15:20 (three years ago) link
he’s been slimer for a long time tbf
― force ghost bg (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 15:20 (three years ago) link
If the British Prime Minister dies of coronavirus, war with China is inevitable. Let’s pray he recovers. https://t.co/RB8oBZo7hJ— Zachary Miller (@_ZacharyMiller) April 6, 2020
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 8 April 2020 21:04 (three years ago) link
whos this some maga
― aaaaeeeeeeoooooooowwww (Left), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 21:06 (three years ago) link
Oh cool, this guy is from Waco.
― Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 21:08 (three years ago) link
that tweet has one like, is there a reason i have to see it
― mellon collie and the infinite bradness (BradNelson), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 21:11 (three years ago) link
If we all work together, we can take it viral
― Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 21:14 (three years ago) link
There should be a thread for Zachary Miller tweets
― Microbes oft teem (wins), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 21:20 (three years ago) link
I judge people who claim we’re living in 1984 rather than Brave New World harshly— Zachary Miller (@_ZacharyMiller) April 6, 2020
― calzino, Wednesday, 8 April 2020 21:32 (three years ago) link
send Zachary Miller thread to dead Boris!
― calzino, Wednesday, 8 April 2020 21:35 (three years ago) link
I’m going to delete the original tweet, because the first part of it was wrong and I shouldn’t have said it.— Zachary Miller (@_ZacharyMiller) April 8, 2020
― Pinche Cumbion Bien Loco (stevie), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 21:36 (three years ago) link
"...doctors have described his condition as 'satisfactory'.the funeral will be held tomorrow at blah blah blah blah"
― doo rag, Wednesday, 8 April 2020 21:38 (three years ago) link
Trump says Boris Johnson is doing "much better...at least better...he seems to be doing better, and that's good, and we send our regards to Boris and his family and his friends...He's become a very popular -- before this happened...very popular..."— Daniel Dale (@ddale8) April 8, 2020
― donald failson (sic), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 21:53 (three years ago) link
What a stupid person. Though I do love the hedge on "much better." Did I say "much better?" I mean, "better." That is, he *seems* to be doing better. Wait, did I say better? I meant to say "dead."
― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 8 April 2020 22:00 (three years ago) link
much deader
― Nudeln und Klopapier Gore (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 22:17 (three years ago) link
Daniel Dale must be exhausted. He seems to spend half his life reporting everything Trump says and the other half explaining how each thing is a lie/exaggeration/wrong.
― Non, je ned raggette rien (onimo), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 22:19 (three years ago) link
Is there a 'last famous person you were not surprised to discover was actually still alive' thread we can stick Boris on?
― Did somebody just say eat? (Tom D.), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 22:24 (three years ago) link
whatever daniel dale thinks he's doing (fact checking?) is part of the problem IMO
― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 22:31 (three years ago) link
Quoting?
― brechtian social distancing (Simon H.), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 22:37 (three years ago) link
He’s a New York Times article that leads with the lie, but a twitter account.
― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 23:01 (three years ago) link
wow, my eyes just rolled so hard it broke my brain
― reggae mike love (polyphonic), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 23:05 (three years ago) link
Anyway the say it’s bad news if you do more than 3-4 days in ICU. This is day 4. If they don’t announce a discharge you can safely assume they’re lying about his condition— Your Mum (@judeinlondon2) April 9, 2020
― xyzzzz__, Thursday, 9 April 2020 11:42 (three years ago) link
boris has historically tried to keep his discharges quiet tbf
― force ghost bg (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 9 April 2020 11:45 (three years ago) link
No cadaver no cred. He needs dragging off that bed if he isn't dead by the end of the day.
― calzino, Thursday, 9 April 2020 11:52 (three years ago) link
Debatable re ICU - thereve been people walking out of there after two weeks. Though he will likely not be ready to work if/when he emerges.
― extremely Dutch coughing sound (gyac), Thursday, 9 April 2020 11:58 (three years ago) link
I don't debate what Jude says here because I'm a Boris is faking it truther to the death now!
― calzino, Thursday, 9 April 2020 12:02 (three years ago) link
PM 'accessible' and 'mentally able to make decisions' from hospital https://t.co/vDLFghBZbV— Sky News Politics (@SkyNewsPolitics) April 9, 2020
― extremely Dutch coughing sound (gyac), Thursday, 9 April 2020 12:03 (three years ago) link
I mean that’s a change too - you have to be really sick to reach the stage where it has to be stated you’re “mentally capable” of making decisions.
― extremely Dutch coughing sound (gyac), Thursday, 9 April 2020 12:04 (three years ago) link
What if he's discharged but then just has a heart attack on the toilet next day.
― nashwan, Thursday, 9 April 2020 12:09 (three years ago) link
Look we're all trying to stay optimistic
― a slobbering sombrero moment (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 9 April 2020 12:40 (three years ago) link
Though he will likely not be ready to work if/when he emerges.
He'll just do what he's done his entire life, get someone else to do the work for him.
― The Corbynite Maneuver (Tom D.), Thursday, 9 April 2020 12:51 (three years ago) link
Big fan of Dominic Raab completely destroying the government's PR cause he's too dumb to lie properly https://t.co/03DyCLFs3F— Loki (@Lokinash06) April 9, 2020
― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Thursday, 9 April 2020 16:51 (three years ago) link
ya that stuck out like a sore thumb to me in the guardian liveblog too - that does not... seem good
― megan thee macallan 18 year (||||||||), Thursday, 9 April 2020 16:55 (three years ago) link
define "not good"
― a slobbering sombrero moment (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 9 April 2020 16:56 (three years ago) link
I'm torn between yay he's toast! and grr! drag that malingering posh cunt out of that bed by his fucking ear.
― calzino, Thursday, 9 April 2020 16:58 (three years ago) link
Boris at his return to work interview pic.twitter.com/iYhgCkJUCG— Guybrush Tweetgood (@Gordopolitz) April 9, 2020
― force ghost bg (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 9 April 2020 17:08 (three years ago) link
Dig deep, friends.
Even worse than the proposed ‘whip round’ for Dominic Grieve pic.twitter.com/ZCpYVQDu7s— Sophia (@final__girl) April 9, 2020
― roxymuzak otm (gyac), Thursday, 9 April 2020 17:14 (three years ago) link
yes now more than ever what we must do is spend four figures on some fucking cufflinks
― force ghost bg (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 9 April 2020 17:15 (three years ago) link
Starting a rival one to see if we can raise six grand for Dignitas.
― ShariVari, Thursday, 9 April 2020 17:16 (three years ago) link
irl lol
― a slobbering sombrero moment (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 9 April 2020 17:17 (three years ago) link
same
― force ghost bg (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 9 April 2020 17:17 (three years ago) link
He dead yet?
― Bo Johnson Coviddied (Neanderthal), Thursday, 9 April 2020 17:30 (three years ago) link
Apparently he was engaging positively with his scrotum yesterday whilst gargling blood and shitting his kecks
― calzino, Thursday, 9 April 2020 17:33 (three years ago) link
Either he's much worse than is being claimed OR he thinks that Dominic Raab is too stupid and unreliable to be running the country properly in his absence and therefore the less he knows the better.
― Matt DC, Thursday, 9 April 2020 17:34 (three years ago) link
He is now out of ICU and will almost certainly live to tell the tale.
― Publius Covidius Naso (pomenitul), Thursday, 9 April 2020 18:28 (three years ago) link
"get up yer bastard, there's nowt wrong with thee!"
― calzino, Thursday, 9 April 2020 18:32 (three years ago) link
RIP
UPDATE: British PM Johnson has been moved out of ICU."The Prime Minister has been moved this evening from intensive care back to the ward, where he will receive close monitoring during the early phase of his recovery,” Downing Street says.— NBC News (@NBCNews) April 9, 2020
― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Thursday, 9 April 2020 18:32 (three years ago) link
You win some, you lose some.
― A is for (Aimless), Thursday, 9 April 2020 18:34 (three years ago) link
can’t believe they misspelled ‘morgue’ as ‘ward’ ffs
― force ghost bg (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 9 April 2020 18:37 (three years ago) link
There's still tomorrow, you never know.
― Publius Covidius Naso (pomenitul), Thursday, 9 April 2020 18:38 (three years ago) link
great revive
― ban laggy jazzer (imago), Thursday, 9 April 2020 19:17 (three years ago) link
ffs
― ShariVari, Thursday, 9 April 2020 19:18 (three years ago) link
I suspect the enforced mourning will be prolonged indefinitely regardless
― aaaaeeeeeeoooooooowwww (Left), Thursday, 9 April 2020 19:35 (three years ago) link
These threads never work I blame shakey
― xyzzzz__, Thursday, 9 April 2020 19:46 (three years ago) link
nothing good comes from putting the death cart before the horse. When will you ppl learn!
― calzino, Thursday, 9 April 2020 19:48 (three years ago) link
shakey is a psy op
― force ghost bg (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 9 April 2020 19:50 (three years ago) link
Was he actually ill or was it aristocratic japes and tomfoolery?
― anvil, Thursday, 9 April 2020 19:53 (three years ago) link
i don’t believe shakey was ill, no
― force ghost bg (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 9 April 2020 19:55 (three years ago) link
Ey I cannae believe that they put him in some brandy barrels. He must really be worse Dan I say . https://t.co/fOwMQOdVL2— RobertoPesto (@PestoRoberto) April 9, 2020
― calzino, Thursday, 9 April 2020 21:03 (three years ago) link
Johnson never had the ronamerely 5g morgellons
― nashwan, Thursday, 9 April 2020 21:07 (three years ago) link
hoping for a reverse Jesus this weekend
― boxedjoy, Friday, 10 April 2020 06:09 (three years ago) link
I don't believe it's the case at all, but it would really be something if he ducked out of the spotlight for a week or so to avoid scrutiny, ended up being taken to hospital and having to play along, then had to spend several days surrounded by poor bastards dying on ventilators while inevitably picking up the virus for real himself.
― The Rampaging Goats of Llandudno (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Friday, 10 April 2020 22:53 (three years ago) link
I mean he looked pretty fucking ill before they hauled him in, not that he doesn't usually mind. Still time for a relapse by the way folks #fatchance
― sonatas and interludes for prepaid nando's (Matt #2), Friday, 10 April 2020 23:26 (three years ago) link
‘It Was, For, Uh, Medical Reasons,’ Says Doctor To Boris Johnson, Explaining Why They Had To Give Him Haircut https://t.co/WzKHHwqENf pic.twitter.com/DIj9lAkN6q— The Onion (@TheOnion) April 9, 2020
― but also fuck you (unperson), Friday, 10 April 2020 23:37 (three years ago) link
The fat fuck is not only not dead he is out and posting video messages.
― The Corbynite Maneuver (Tom D.), Sunday, 12 April 2020 17:43 (three years ago) link
At least his forthcoming child will get to know his father, unusually
― quartet for the endocrine (Matt #2), Sunday, 12 April 2020 17:48 (three years ago) link
I've got to say for a guy who was supposedly at death's door a few days ago he's bearing up well.
― The Corbynite Maneuver (Tom D.), Sunday, 12 April 2020 17:55 (three years ago) link
who thinks he wasn't ill enough to be hospitalized and this was some sort of scheme from cummings?
― Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Sunday, 12 April 2020 17:56 (three years ago) link
i really wanna think that but shurely there's no way?
― où sont les threads d'antan? (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 12 April 2020 17:59 (three years ago) link
I absolutely subscribe to that theory. I mean it isn't exactly Icke territory, he's a born liar and has a history of hiding when the going gets tough.
― calzino, Sunday, 12 April 2020 18:00 (three years ago) link
doesn't take a lot of subterfuge, just need him to say he's feeling worse, the hospital isn't going to refuse to admit the prime minister.
― Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Sunday, 12 April 2020 18:01 (three years ago) link
i think they could tell if he was breathing properly or not
― où sont les threads d'antan? (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 12 April 2020 18:02 (three years ago) link
I could imagine him bullshitting that it would be good theatre to show the seriousness of the situation blah blah and give him the opp to evade scrutiny.
― calzino, Sunday, 12 April 2020 18:06 (three years ago) link
Death would've been the ultimate evasion of scrutiny.
― xyzzzz__, Sunday, 12 April 2020 18:07 (three years ago) link
I think there are plenty of people who have some minor breathing difficulties and aren't admitted to hospital right now. the grim tone of the way they announced it was the main sleight of hand here.
― Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Sunday, 12 April 2020 18:08 (three years ago) link
Surely there's a lower bar for hospitalization when it's the PM, deserved or not.
― Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Sunday, 12 April 2020 18:12 (three years ago) link
this is all shakey’s fault
― force ghost bg (bizarro gazzara), Sunday, 12 April 2020 18:24 (three years ago) link
otm, turns out all he needed was to rest peacefully for a stretch
― dip to dup (rob), Sunday, 12 April 2020 18:25 (three years ago) link
he's probably dead, video was recorded years ago along with thousands of others in the event that he somehow became PM and came down with something called covid-19
― ℺ ☽ ⋠ ⏎ (✖), Sunday, 12 April 2020 18:33 (three years ago) link
there's other videos where he survives being murdered by the ghost of blackbeard, falling into a pit of spikes and losing all his coins, etc
he's actually been replaced by Paul McCartney in a mask
― genital giant (Neanderthal), Sunday, 12 April 2020 18:34 (three years ago) link
I blame myself for not pushing him into traffic when he cycled past me c.2009
― reality disliker (Left), Sunday, 12 April 2020 19:13 (three years ago) link
I am a Boris truther AMA
― anvil, Sunday, 12 April 2020 19:17 (three years ago) link
He was nearly admitted several times before he was actually admitted, but the ICU admittance was down to extra caution because of his position. I know this for absolute fact, but can’t say how.
― mike t-diva, Sunday, 12 April 2020 19:43 (three years ago) link
RIP Boris Johnson
― let me be your friend on the other end! (Karl Malone), Sunday, 12 April 2020 19:44 (three years ago) link
mike t-gove morelike xp
― force ghost bg (bizarro gazzara), Sunday, 12 April 2020 19:45 (three years ago) link
i knew it!
― calzino, Sunday, 12 April 2020 19:46 (three years ago) link