An empty cigar tube filled with wasps makes a good vibrator.

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Is this true?

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:29 (twenty-one years ago) link

It would have to be sealed very well, and the wasps would suffocate, so it would not last long. How long does it take for a wasp to suffocate?

― alix (alix), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:32 (twenty-one years ago) link

Suddenly I no longer want the details of Tom's homemade vibrator.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:33 (twenty-one years ago) link

I don't see why you couldn't have small airholes at one end.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:34 (twenty-one years ago) link

Just a little less time than it takes to orgasm with a wasp-powered vibrator.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:34 (twenty-one years ago) link

I SECOND DAN!

― Sarah (starry), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:35 (twenty-one years ago) link

I'm the expert round here and this method sucks.

― Tom (Groke), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:35 (twenty-one years ago) link

Yeh, and while you're at it with your airholes, why not install a miniature Starbucks for the wasps? Which end were you thinking of, N?

― alix (alix), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:36 (twenty-one years ago) link

I don't see why you couldn't have small airholes at one end.

at one end?? you say that like: at least one end. which end would you choose? [like lixi types while I did]

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:37 (twenty-one years ago) link

URGH. This thread drips with wrongness (and soggy wasps).

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:38 (twenty-one years ago) link

surely the wasp vibrator is not vegan friendly

― Ed (dali), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:38 (twenty-one years ago) link

Which end were you thinking of, N?

The other end from Tom was?

― Graham (graham), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:39 (twenty-one years ago) link

Maybe there is something that is like a wasp, but not harmful. Like, a um, a, um. um. I dunno.

― alix (alix), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:41 (twenty-one years ago) link

Are there wasp masochism sites?

What about jumping beans alix?

― Tom (Groke), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:42 (twenty-one years ago) link

a fly?

― michael wells (michael w.), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:42 (twenty-one years ago) link

Humming birds? They are quite tiny I believe.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:42 (twenty-one years ago) link

i mean flies. just one would be pretty underwhelming, i imagine.

― michael wells (michael w.), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:43 (twenty-one years ago) link

There was an old lady who inserted a fly...

― Tom (Groke), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:43 (twenty-one years ago) link

Archel, well done for bringing a little prettiness to this ugly ugly thread.

― Tim (Tim), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:44 (twenty-one years ago) link

what about some sort of a small electric motor?

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

Still not vegan friendly though (jumping beans are moth larvae).

― Graham (graham), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

Moths. I was thinking of the non-inserted end, just in case the sting pokes through. But you might want that danger. It's horses for courses.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

Horses?

― Tim (Tim), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:46 (twenty-one years ago) link

I wonder if there are sites where womens' clothes get all eaten off by moths?

― Tom (Groke), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

N. doesn't have the time for those boring middle verses.

― Graham (graham), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

Jumping beans are plastic! And would be rubbish, unless you were in some kind of gyroscope. I think Gillander's small electric motor might be the answer, although possibly someone has already thought of this. Apparently the woman who founded Ann Summers moved into a house down the road from my parents. Imagine the village gossip. Or don't.

― alix (alix), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:48 (twenty-one years ago) link

angry wasps in a condom add a certain pleasure both to the fellow and his lady friend

― WilliamR (WilliamR), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:49 (twenty-one years ago) link

Imagine Tom's poem taken to it's logical conclusion...

"There was an old lady who inserted a horse,
She came of course..."

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:49 (twenty-one years ago) link

barbed for her pleasure?

― Alan (Alan), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:50 (twenty-one years ago) link

This is the best/horriblest/most wrong thread EVAH!

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:51 (twenty-one years ago) link

ITS A WASP. YOU DON'T WANT IT NEAR YOUR BITS. Although there are people that enjoy stinging nettles in this way.

― alix (alix), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:51 (twenty-one years ago) link

Have you tested this yourself, Nick?

I can imagine a porn film set in an adult toys' factory's quality control department -- Inspected by Number 69.

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

Not me, obv.

― alix (alix), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:53 (twenty-one years ago) link

all home science experiments EVER (as found in Usborne's "So Your Kid is A Precocious Shit and wants a chemistry set for christmas" series)started "you'll need two expty cigar tubes". i never ever had any. or friends. i could do the electric experiments -- they needed brass split pins, wire, a battery, aluminium foil and a matchbox (to make home-made lamp holders)

― Alan (Alan), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:54 (twenty-one years ago) link

Are you trying to clean up this thread, Alan?

― alix (alix), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:55 (twenty-one years ago) link

That's what I meant by wasp porn - it's the next step from the nettle thing innit?

― Tom (Groke), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:55 (twenty-one years ago) link

My stepdad used to work as a packer at an Ann Summers factory. They were allowed to take home any damaged chocolate phalluses. I don't think wasps were involved though.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:55 (twenty-one years ago) link

the next step being?

blue ringed octupi, spitting Cobras, box jelly fish?

― Ed (dali), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:56 (twenty-one years ago) link

But it's in a cigar case!

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:56 (twenty-one years ago) link

Hamlet's only come in thin cellophane.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 13 January 2003 16:59 (twenty-one years ago) link

I'm sure there's a joke to be made there.

― alix (alix), Monday, 13 January 2003 17:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

anyway, the Usborne "So your Kid has worked out how to wire up a bulb and battery, woo hoo" series had a home made vibrator on page 46*. It started "For this you will need an empty cigar tube." I also wanted to be a spy when i was a kid, and liked making code wheels. Mirrors were also fascinating for some reason. And Pinhole cameras, obv.

(*Does that make things better, Alix? Though that bit is a lie)

― Alan (Alan), Monday, 13 January 2003 17:01 (twenty-one years ago) link

"Ophelia kink depression suicide shockah" etc

― g.cannon (gcannon), Monday, 13 January 2003 17:04 (twenty-one years ago) link

Thank you for filthying things up. I actually was a spy when I was younger. This too is a lie. I was fascinated by periscopes though.

― alix (alix), Monday, 13 January 2003 17:08 (twenty-one years ago) link

I have one inserted at the moment, and I certainly would extoll its pleasing virtues. I'm sorry - I've just come.

― WilliamR (WilliamR), Monday, 13 January 2003 17:09 (twenty-one years ago) link

I'm shocked that no one actually commented on the SIZE of hummingbirds as a strike against their usefulness in a vibrator context (TAKE INTO ACOCUNT THE WINGSPAN, PEOPLE!).

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 13 January 2003 17:09 (twenty-one years ago) link

ACOCUNT?!

― alix (alix), Monday, 13 January 2003 17:10 (twenty-one years ago) link

WilliamR has a periscope inserted at the moment? "I was just looking up an old friend" ho ho

― Alan (Alan), Monday, 13 January 2003 17:11 (twenty-one years ago) link

a rattlesnake would make a much better vibrator.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Monday, 13 January 2003 17:11 (twenty-one years ago) link

A periscope has many pleasing virtues.

― alix (alix), Monday, 13 January 2003 17:13 (twenty-one years ago) link

"acocunt" = female genitalia shared by multiple people

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 13 January 2003 17:22 (twenty-one years ago) link

Other than looking over conveniently heighted walls?

― Graham (graham), Monday, 13 January 2003 17:23 (twenty-one years ago) link

(I hope that was in response to Alix...)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 13 January 2003 17:34 (twenty-one years ago) link

So Dan, the amount of money you're paying me to not directly alert Joei to the existence of this thread and your presence on it is...?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 13 January 2003 17:42 (twenty-one years ago) link

Imagine the fun you could have with a Periniumscope!

― Simeon (Simeon), Monday, 13 January 2003 17:43 (twenty-one years ago) link

"Joei, did you know that Dan's posting on a thread about wasp vibrators? Oh, and BTW 'Joei wasp vibrator' will eventually come up with a Google hit. No he didn't mention your name, I did. HEY PUT THAT KNIFE DOWN!"

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 13 January 2003 17:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

Dan may have been right about the hummingbirds:

The average weight of an adult female is about 3.3 grams. The average weight of an adult male is about 3 grams.

Ruby-throats are about 3 to 3 3/4 inches long.

The average length of a male's wing is 38.5 mm. The average length of a female's wing is 44.5 mm.

The average length of a male's bill is 16 mm. The average length of a female's bill is 18 mm.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 13 January 2003 17:48 (twenty-one years ago) link

You think this will save you, Mr. Perry.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 13 January 2003 17:49 (twenty-one years ago) link

How about baby hummingbirds?

― Tim (Tim), Monday, 13 January 2003 17:51 (twenty-one years ago) link

Every sex toy should be cruel towards baby animals.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 13 January 2003 17:55 (twenty-one years ago) link

hello random googlers!

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 13 January 2003 18:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

How about happy baby hummingbirds?

― Tim (Tim), Monday, 13 January 2003 18:01 (twenty-one years ago) link

Yeah we've got the "dildo filled with baby hummingbirds" market cornered.

― Tom (Groke), Monday, 13 January 2003 18:02 (twenty-one years ago) link

I still don't get why it is WASPs as opposed to Jews, Catholics, Buddhists or Atheists?

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Monday, 13 January 2003 18:05 (twenty-one years ago) link

I'm still puzzling over how exactly you'd manage to fill a cigar tube with lots of wasps. Presumably they'd be angry. How would you do that?

― C J (C J), Monday, 13 January 2003 18:25 (twenty-one years ago) link

You fill it with sugar, natch.

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 13 January 2003 18:27 (twenty-one years ago) link

tell them there is something they want at one of the ends of it--probably the end that isn't the open end.

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 13 January 2003 18:29 (twenty-one years ago) link

I still don't get why it is WASPs as opposed to Jews, Catholics, Buddhists or Atheists?

Well, I wouldn't want to be called antisemitic for filling a cigar tube with Jews.

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 13 January 2003 18:41 (twenty-one years ago) link

Wasps hibernate or something in the winter - or get very dozy when the weather is cold, anyway - so I guess you could keep them in the freezer, then the body heat would wake them up, which might be like a speed control or something.

― C J (C J), Monday, 13 January 2003 18:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

Tell them the cigar tube has a free cocktail hour, that will get the WASPs in.

― rosemary (rosemary), Monday, 13 January 2003 19:06 (twenty-one years ago) link

You fill it with sugar, natch.

Hey, remember when I set this one up and then nobody knocked it out of the park? Honestly, I'm ashamed.

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 13 January 2003 19:07 (twenty-one years ago) link

ha rosemary i didn;t think of that one. i was gonna post about Brooks Brothers.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Monday, 13 January 2003 19:08 (twenty-one years ago) link

All this talk of inventive vibrators is fine for the girls - but what about the boys? Haven't any of you ever been really curious about the central vacuuming system?

― C J (C J), Monday, 13 January 2003 19:33 (twenty-one years ago) link

It's not my fault Mark, I was in a meeting!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 13 January 2003 20:07 (twenty-one years ago) link

nine months pass...

I'd just like to revive this wrongness.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 17:29 (twenty years ago) link

surely this device is kissing cousin to the sodomizing bee-stick?

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 17:36 (twenty years ago) link

This is clearly one of the greatest threads ever.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 17:38 (twenty years ago) link

Damn, Perry beat me to another thread! (But then, any talk of vibrators is a good thing.)

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 17:40 (twenty years ago) link

this is awesome. how did i miss it?

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 17:42 (twenty years ago) link

THE HIVEMIND IS A SEX TOY

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 17:45 (twenty years ago) link

The thread revives have super high quality this week :)

(That sounds like such a backhand...)

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 17:49 (twenty years ago) link

Well now I'm gonna spoil it.
I know of a guy (a friend's ex) who (probably still but I'm not certain) likes to fuck himself in the ass with a cigar tube while he beats off, and the freak just leaves the tube sitting around all covered in dried up shit afterwards (yeah, that's the part that makes him a freak!). One time a girl he was living with found a cigar tube under the couch all covered in poo and lint and, disgusted, felt compelled to confront him about it. When he got home, she, all shocked and grossed out, held it out and shook it at him, and demanded, "What the hell is this?" he said, "It's a cigar tube." "I know!" she screamed. "What the hell are you doing with it?" "Oh," he replied, all blasé, "I stick it in my ass when I masturbate." Fucking philosophy majors!

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 18:34 (twenty years ago) link

this is clearly an utterly fearless and completely trustworthy man.

― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 18:45 (twenty years ago) link

Haha two of my best friends from high school were philosphy majors and the other one was religion! (Note to self: never smoke cigars with them again.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 19:25 (twenty years ago) link

cigar tube up ass < broomhandle up ass

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 19:28 (twenty years ago) link

cigar tube up ass < broomhandle up ass < Brünhilde up ass

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 19:30 (twenty years ago) link

Your search - joie wasp vibrators - did not match any documents.

― Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 19:32 (twenty years ago) link

Ned you are in the clear!

― Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 19:32 (twenty years ago) link

No results under the correct spelling, either. Damn.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 19:34 (twenty years ago) link

oh no, my two phil major friends are cigar afficionados (and dont smoke otherwise). oh no.

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 19:41 (twenty years ago) link

I was a religion major.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 19:42 (twenty years ago) link

OH NO!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 19:42 (twenty years ago) link

Nick, that explains a few things;>

Perry, some religion wouldn't kill you.....(she says, laughing maniacally, standing behind protective glass)

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 19:52 (twenty years ago) link

Hurrah! Dan will eventually hang himself on his own words. ;-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 19:56 (twenty years ago) link

I was a philosophy minor - ergo I use a Café Créme...

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 20:33 (twenty years ago) link

Aren't cigar tubes made of glass? That be playing with fire there...

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 20:38 (twenty years ago) link

Only very posh cigar tubes.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 20:39 (twenty years ago) link

I'm a sophisticated kinda guy...

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 20:40 (twenty years ago) link

Sophisticated guys don't shove cigar tubes up their arses...

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 20:43 (twenty years ago) link

Pfft. Shows how many swanky cocktail parties you've been to.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 20:44 (twenty years ago) link

They have robots do it for them.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 20:44 (twenty years ago) link

Oh to be sophisticated. And a robot.

― Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 21:22 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.scanartcentral.net/wthumbs/rich_bot_bender.jpg

"Hey, it ain't easy being me, pal. Now go get me another cigar!"

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 23 October 2003 12:38 (twenty years ago) link

*swoons*

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 23 October 2003 12:41 (twenty years ago) link

"Yup, dames love the monocle. Works every time."

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 23 October 2003 13:42 (twenty years ago) link

two months pass...

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 16:18 (twenty years ago) link

We should create a "Hall Of Fame" category and put this thread in it.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 16:22 (twenty years ago) link

Exceptional. Fucking top class.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 16:28 (twenty years ago) link

How many wasps are you meant to get in there anywhere - until they're literally all jammed in there, or just three or four?

I am assuming this is a big cigar.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 16:30 (twenty years ago) link

Three or four. You could use an empty Pringles tube full of bluebottles if you're a particularly large girl.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 16:31 (twenty years ago) link

INTO THE PENALTY BOX WITH YOU, YOU POXY WELSHMAN

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 16:33 (twenty years ago) link

Cream cheese and chives?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 16:33 (twenty years ago) link

I only revived this thread because The Missionary Position had been locked.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 16:33 (twenty years ago) link

God! I had to give up reading that, my laughter was far too conspicuous. Fucking genius.

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 16:33 (twenty years ago) link

imagine if c-man started this thread.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 16:42 (twenty years ago) link

i was just thinking the same thing

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 16:43 (twenty years ago) link

i have concluded that it would not have been as good

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 16:43 (twenty years ago) link

It was the most perfectly-formed ILE thread ever and Boyler ruined it. Is it too late to have the end posts deleted?

Doggy style is not the default for everyone, Kate. First time I tried it with my partner, she mentioned that it didn't work with her--note that's not "for" but "with"--she is angled/padded such that it's a strain on her to tilt the right way, and she doesn't enjoy it nearly as much as, for instance, missionary, of which she is a big fan.
-- green orange (sorto...), February 25th, 2003 12:44 PM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

GET THIS FILTH OFF MY SWEETS THREAD!!!
-- Lara (lara_byrn...), February 25th, 2003 12:46 PM.

Is the best bit.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 16:45 (twenty years ago) link

Indeed.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 16:54 (twenty years ago) link

I miss Lara.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 21 January 2004 16:54 (twenty years ago) link

four months pass...

Wasps, not bees!

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Friday, 4 June 2004 07:42 (nineteen years ago) link

As Teeny points out upthread, the bees are busy with a stick of their own.

― Tim (Tim), Friday, 4 June 2004 07:49 (nineteen years ago) link

The thrill has been lost since I discovered the Hornet Hobbler.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 4 June 2004 07:58 (nineteen years ago) link

!!!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 4 June 2004 08:04 (nineteen years ago) link

Isn't it just?

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Friday, 4 June 2004 08:06 (nineteen years ago) link

Tom's idea about moth porn is genius!!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 4 June 2004 11:50 (nineteen years ago) link

two months pass...

Just for fun.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 20:23 (nineteen years ago) link

one year passes...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v134/tracerhand/beesodomy.jpg

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 26 August 2005 04:08 (eighteen years ago) link

This cannot be allowed to sink down the New Answers page without comment.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Friday, 26 August 2005 16:53 (eighteen years ago) link

wow.

― carly (carly), Friday, 26 August 2005 19:32 (eighteen years ago) link

Tracer Hand, I KISS YOU.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 29 August 2005 16:06 (eighteen years ago) link

Tracer Hand, I masturbate you with a beehive.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 29 August 2005 17:56 (eighteen years ago) link

See, this is why Tracer likes me more than he likes you.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 29 August 2005 20:06 (eighteen years ago) link

Mmmmm, vibrating honey.

― Sweet ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Monday, 29 August 2005 20:26 (eighteen years ago) link

The greatest thing about that pic is that somebody actually has it framed, on a wall.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 29 August 2005 20:29 (eighteen years ago) link

IT IS ART

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 29 August 2005 21:32 (eighteen years ago) link

three months pass...

How have I only just seen that picture?!

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 22 December 2005 11:04 (eighteen years ago) link

ten months pass...

Working late = revive awesome old threads

― The Android Cat (Dan Perry), Friday, 10 November 2006 01:25 (seventeen years ago) link

Somehow I think if I started this thread, you would not think it so awesome. That's racist!

― Scorpion Tea (Dick Butkus), Friday, 10 November 2006 02:34 (seventeen years ago) link

t/s: sand vs. wasps

― You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (Haberdager), Friday, 10 November 2006 02:38 (seventeen years ago) link

uh, sand, obviously unless it's in your kidney (and even then)

― Scorpion Tea (Dick Butkus), Friday, 10 November 2006 02:39 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh, and BTW 'Joei wasp vibrator' will eventually come up with a Google hit

#1 hit Dan!

― ONIMO ph34rz teh NOIZE (GerryNemo), Friday, 10 November 2006 12:49 (seventeen years ago) link

An empty cigar tube filled with WASPs makes an even worse vibrator than you'd imagine.

― Feargal Hixxy (DJ Mencap), Friday, 10 November 2006 13:19 (seventeen years ago) link

#1 hit Dan!

ROFFLE

RUN NOW, RAGGETT

― The Android Cat (Dan Perry), Friday, 10 November 2006 20:35 (seventeen years ago) link

two months pass...

Two CO2 cartridges filled with a wooden dowel makes a good dildo:

http://godlovesmeat.com/spatulatzar/dildo/

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Sunday, 14 January 2007 17:53 (seventeen years ago) link

Insight into ILXors web-browsing habits = EEK

― The Android Cat (Dan Perry), Sunday, 14 January 2007 18:15 (seventeen years ago) link

nine months pass...

OK, I admit it I'm intrigued...
http://www.theconevibrator.net/images/product.jpg
Anyone had personal experience of this? It's good for men and women or so it says on the box.

― Ned Trifle II, Wednesday, 7 November 2007 13:52 (sixteen years ago) link

How does that even work? Do you sit on it?

― Tuomas, Wednesday, 7 November 2007 14:02 (sixteen years ago) link

ding ding ding

― ^@^, Wednesday, 7 November 2007 14:04 (sixteen years ago) link

I'd love to test it, but I doubt there exists a shop which'd let you test vibrators before buying one.

― Tuomas, Wednesday, 7 November 2007 14:12 (sixteen years ago) link

Actually no, I think some sex stores have tester vibrators their customers can check out. But I don't think you can test it in, er, real use.

― Tuomas, Wednesday, 7 November 2007 14:13 (sixteen years ago) link

two months pass...

"think"

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Sunday, 27 January 2008 22:32 (sixteen years ago) link

I lol'd.

― Bodrick III, Sunday, 27 January 2008 23:15 (sixteen years ago) link

This fucking thread.

― Dom Passantino, Sunday, 27 January 2008 23:51 (sixteen years ago) link

three months pass...

OK, I admit it I'm intrigued...

― omar little, Monday, 19 May 2008 23:46 (fifteen years ago) link

http://www.theconevibrator.net/images/product.jpg

― omar little, Monday, 19 May 2008 23:46 (fifteen years ago) link

I can't see how that would be fun for anyone.

― HI DERE, Monday, 19 May 2008 23:58 (fifteen years ago) link

http://amandaziegler.com/tn_oglethorpe1.gif would hit it

― iiiijjjj, Tuesday, 20 May 2008 00:03 (fifteen years ago) link

one year passes...

http://xhamster.com/movies/191509/my_homemade_1_50_dollar_store_sex_toy.html

― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 6 September 2009 23:35 (fourteen years ago) link

that's really, really NSFW by the way.

― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 6 September 2009 23:37 (fourteen years ago) link

xhamster???? no thanks.

― ian, Sunday, 6 September 2009 23:38 (fourteen years ago) link

dying @ How Long Can You Last? ad on the side.

― clotpoll, Monday, 7 September 2009 00:38 (fourteen years ago) link

two years pass...

Wait, what?

http://gizmodo.com/5909857/the-bizarre-history-of-the-vibrator-from-cleopatras-angry-bees-to-steam+powered-dildos

I thought Tom invented this?!

― Alba, Monday, 14 May 2012 08:10 (eleven years ago) link

There really aren't any new ideas, huh

― I'M THAT POSTA, AAAAAAAAAH (DJP), Monday, 14 May 2012 08:31 (eleven years ago) link

"cleopatra's angry bees" would be a neat band name. Possibly.

― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Monday, 14 May 2012 08:53 (eleven years ago) link

eight months pass...

Ten year anniversary of this magnificent thread just passed.

― i would never inflict the process of making a sandwich on myself (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 25 January 2013 16:30 (eleven years ago) link

four years pass...

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/ground-wasp-nest-vagina-tighten-warn-gynaecologist-painful-sex-bacteria-hiv-a7766376.html

― how's life, Thursday, 1 June 2017 13:35 (six years ago) link

I neither know nor care what that story is because nothing could possibly top that url.

― Trockasturm Hoar The Ramming Battle Ceraton (Old Lunch), Thursday, 1 June 2017 13:38 (six years ago) link

i'd hate for you to miss out on this rare use of 'pro-tip' in a clinical context

“Here's a pro-tip, if something burns when you apply it to the vagina it is generally bad for the vagina,” Dr Gunter added.

― heck i've even been an 'oyster pirate' (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 1 June 2017 14:02 (six years ago) link

"Another pro-tip: if your arm becomes detached from your body it is generally good to have it reattached to your body," Dr. Gunter sagely advised.

― Trockasturm Hoar The Ramming Battle Ceraton (Old Lunch), Thursday, 1 June 2017 14:10 (six years ago) link

Dr. Gunter dispensing that arcane esoterica to which only the pro-est of tippers have access.

― Trockasturm Hoar The Ramming Battle Ceraton (Old Lunch), Thursday, 1 June 2017 14:11 (six years ago) link

I should have known someone else would beat me to reviving this thread with that article

― PJD PDJ DPJ (DJP), Thursday, 1 June 2017 21:16 (six years ago) link

i came here to post this story :)

― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Friday, 2 June 2017 11:15 (six years ago) link

this is the beauty of ilx, really - how many other boards would have an extant thread suitable to put this story, and have three separate posters all think to put it there

― heck i've even been an 'oyster pirate' (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 2 June 2017 11:19 (six years ago) link

Do you check through the archive esoterica or just remember the threads years later?

― Stevolende, Friday, 2 June 2017 11:50 (six years ago) link

dude obviously no one who read it has ever forgotten this thread

― mark s, Friday, 2 June 2017 11:52 (six years ago) link

i can't speak for the others but the phrase 'an empty cigar tube filled with wasps makes a good vibrator' has been indelibly inked on my brain since i first read it years ago

― heck i've even been an 'oyster pirate' (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 2 June 2017 11:52 (six years ago) link

it's indelible bcz it's true

― mark s, Friday, 2 June 2017 11:54 (six years ago) link

the premise of this thread seems like it'd be good test of the limits of rule 34 but no fucking way am i going to be the one to conduct it

― heck i've even been an 'oyster pirate' (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 2 June 2017 12:00 (six years ago) link

one year passes...

i’m sorry we’re all out of cigar tubes filled with wasps, but i can interest you in this receptacle containing the world’s largest bee

https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/067f0fa3cb527f2a7c22badf68ff3a90a558d4ad/50_242_5381_3228/master/5381.jpg?width=1920&quality=85&auto=format&fit=max&s=90f70f0a19c0cfeb69f7a75f60b0aa23

― “Emotional Interest Underwear” (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 21 February 2019 16:11 (five years ago) link

― “Emotional Interest Underwear” (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 21 February 2019 16:12 (five years ago) link

one month passes...

Four Bees Living in Her Eye, Feeding on Her Tears

― mick signals, Wednesday, 10 April 2019 21:33 (five years ago) link

ten months pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8CvqmD0CZao

― nothing in the dialog (unregistered), Monday, 17 February 2020 02:21 (four years ago) link

An empty cigar tube filled with wasps makes a good vibrator

sufjan stevens

― sorry for butt rockin (Neanderthal), Monday, 17 February 2020 03:47 (four years ago) link

Great beehive

― Le Bateau Ivre, Monday, 17 February 2020 08:20 (four years ago) link

Was this thing a Viz Top Tip originally or did somebody plagiarise it and submit it as a top tip afterwards?

― Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Monday, 17 February 2020 12:23 (four years ago) link

i dunno if anyone can really 'plagiarise' just plain common sense like this tho tbf

― Homegrown Georgia speedster Ladd McConkey (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 17 February 2020 12:54 (four years ago) link

four months pass...

What if you were *inside* a giant cigar tube filled with... bees?

https://horizontalhive.com/honey-bee-images/bee-bed-sleep-apitherapy.jpg

https://horizontalhive.com/how-to-build/bee-bed-sleep-hive-plans.shtml

― Piedie Gimbel, Friday, 3 July 2020 16:09 (three years ago) link

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