"Heavens! I kill you know ;-)"

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It's been hypothesized (by Ally and me) that any sentence can be turned into a Nedism by appending "Heavens!" to the front and ";-)" to the end. To test this hypothesis, I request that you, the denziens of ILE, take your favorite quotes and submit them to this test to see if the end up sounding like something Ned would say.

I fully expect that Ned will be directing the words in the thread title in about T-5 seconds...

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 30 June 2003 03:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, mainly because you typed "KNOW" rather than "NOW."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 30 June 2003 03:45 (twenty-two years ago)

"Heavens! eat my fuc ;-)"

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 30 June 2003 03:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I kill you know what?

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 30 June 2003 03:45 (twenty-two years ago)

*taps nose* exactly

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 30 June 2003 03:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I was wondering if that was a typo or not. I thought it was like "I kill, you know". Like a warning.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 30 June 2003 03:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! Go fuck yourself and die in a corner ;-)

― oops (Oops), Monday, 30 June 2003 03:49 (twenty-two years ago)

"Heavens! im trippin my nut sack into a frenzy of dik play ;-)"

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 30 June 2003 03:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! bring on it fuckfaces ;-)

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 30 June 2003 03:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! Make 'em say 'UGH', sha-na-na-na ;-)

― oops (Oops), Monday, 30 June 2003 03:56 (twenty-two years ago)

http://members.aol.com/johnnyradpants/nedo.gif

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 30 June 2003 03:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! And then they all lezzed up ;-)

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 30 June 2003 03:57 (twenty-two years ago)

"Heavens! i hate all you fuckers who diss them but shot all the people who like them!! ;-)"

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 30 June 2003 04:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! You like lie a kite ;-)

― oops (Oops), Monday, 30 June 2003 04:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! Yay for sodomy! ;-)

― jewelly (jewelly), Monday, 30 June 2003 05:06 (twenty-two years ago)

ned + hanle y (the nedle y?):

heavens! craky redneck or wise counsel? WHat's with his eyebrow movements? heavens! WOuld you trust him to probe you ?

― Tad (llamasfur), Monday, 30 June 2003 05:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! Grandma was gamier than I expected! ;-)

― Chris P (Chris P), Monday, 30 June 2003 05:10 (twenty-two years ago)

heavens!

http://www.co-junk.net/martin/domo-kun.gif

― Tad (llamasfur), Monday, 30 June 2003 05:21 (twenty-two years ago)

how to kill an otherwise promising catch-phrase in less than 48 hours.

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Monday, 30 June 2003 06:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! This thread sucks! ;-)

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 30 June 2003 06:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! I suck ass ;-)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 30 June 2003 10:36 (twenty-two years ago)

haha

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 30 June 2003 10:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Ciel! Nom de dieu de putain de bordel de merde de saloperie de connard d’enculé de ta mère ;-)

― Sommermute (Wintermute), Monday, 30 June 2003 10:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! It's Ned the Frenchman ;-)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 30 June 2003 11:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! "Bingo" ;-)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 30 June 2003 11:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! If I were an East End Bangladeshi woman! ;-)
Heavens! You don't go out much, do you Ronan? ;-)

(two of my all-time favourite phrases here)

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 30 June 2003 12:15 (twenty-two years ago)

"My girlfriend is quoting Ned Raggett to me!" has to be the aim chat quote of the week, if not the year.

― Nicole (Nicole), Monday, 30 June 2003 12:39 (twenty-two years ago)

No no, Nicole, it's like this:

Heavens! My girlfriend is quoting Ned Raggett to me! ;)

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 30 June 2003 12:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Also:

Heavens! I kill you with guns ok? ;)

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 30 June 2003 12:53 (twenty-two years ago)

heavens! U R ALL GAY ;-)

― angela (angela), Monday, 30 June 2003 12:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! This thread isn't as good as I hoped it would be, yet I'm still laughing ;-)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 30 June 2003 13:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! My boss has 3rd degree burns from coffee! ;)

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 30 June 2003 13:11 (twenty-two years ago)

*twirls hair*

― Sean (Sean), Monday, 30 June 2003 14:06 (twenty-two years ago)

heavens! my bloody valentine perform unspeakable acts on innocent animals ;-)

― di smith (lucylurex), Monday, 30 June 2003 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Astounding! Bush/CIA fabricated proof of WMD ;-) *flounces off*

― gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 30 June 2003 14:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! Gygax comes through with the variation ;-)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 30 June 2003 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

"My girlfriend is quoting Ned Raggett to me!" has to be the aim chat quote of the week, if not the year.

What in the name of god is the context of that, I have to ask.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 30 June 2003 14:46 (twenty-two years ago)

"Heavens! Tart ;)"

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 30 June 2003 14:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! I'll have you naked by the end of this song! ;)

― Neudonym, Monday, 30 June 2003 14:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! Shouldn't that be "Heavens! I'll have you nekkid by the end of this song! ;)"? ;)

― NA. (Nick A.), Monday, 30 June 2003 15:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! I Shrunk The Kids

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 30 June 2003 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! Know's I'm miserable now! ;)

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 30 June 2003 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

"Kevin Shields is still farting around in the studio. Aw, bless."

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 30 June 2003 15:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Killing you now = a merriment.

― naked as sin (naked as sin), Monday, 30 June 2003 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually, I kill you now. Obviously :-)

― Gringo Hero, Monday, 30 June 2003 18:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! Heavens! I kill you now ;) in meta wormhole ;)

― donut bitch (donut), Monday, 30 June 2003 18:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! Shoot low they might be crawling! ;) *pout*

― Chris Barrus (Chris Barrus), Monday, 30 June 2003 19:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! And how can this be? For he is the Kwisatz Haderach! ;-)

― Chris P (Chris P), Monday, 30 June 2003 20:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! I'm surprised Ned doesn't hate us all with a passion. ;)

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 30 June 2003 21:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! How do you know he doesn't? ;)

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 30 June 2003 21:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Because I just don't, you silly billy.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 30 June 2003 21:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! Because I just don't, you silly billy. Oh yes ;-)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 30 June 2003 21:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! He just acts that way to get chicks, dumbass ;)

― donut bitch (donut), Monday, 30 June 2003 21:35 (twenty-two years ago)

this thread is wonderful

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 30 June 2003 21:36 (twenty-two years ago)

it's like that episode of the cosby show where sonia's husband was imitating cliff and then of course cliff came in and saw it

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 30 June 2003 21:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! Malkovich malkovich ;-)

― Sommermute (Wintermute), Monday, 30 June 2003 21:38 (twenty-two years ago)

(I almost offended myself with what I just kept myself from posting. Suffice to say it involved reinterpreting this meme through a "Mammy" filter.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 30 June 2003 21:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Hurrah! Merry! Ned smells like an anteater ;-) Rah! Yay!

― gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 30 June 2003 21:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! And just what do anteaters smell like? :-) *strikes pose*

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 00:40 (twenty-two years ago)

There's nothing to it, really. Vogue.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 02:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! Ginger Rogers! Dance on air! ;-)

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 02:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! Ned and gabbneb made a joint Madonna reference. Rah! ;-)

*laughs and stays put, for she is a long distance away*

― Innocent Dreamer (Dee the Lurker), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 02:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! ME SEEN NUFF OF U FASSYGEEK WITH TA MUCH TIME PLAYIN ON KEYBOARD WIT DEM PIECE OF SHIT LIKE DEM DILDO TING U GET FOR DEM INTANET POONTANG FLEX. U KNOW WHAT IM TALKIN BOUT I SEEN DEM VIDEO WIT 2 CHICHI WIT REMOTE CONTROL DILDA FLEXIN EACH OTHER OVER NET. ;-)

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Tuesday, 1 July 2003 02:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! You're a superstar at the gay bar ;-)

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 02:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! I'm the dandy highwayman so sick of easy fashion--the clumsy boots, peekaboo roots that people think so dashing ;)

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 02:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! Both yr parents have been killed! ;)

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 02:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! Criminals are a superstitious, cowardly lot. My disguise must strike terror into their hearts ;)

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 02:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! I'd hit it ;)

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 02:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! Surely the amount of Ned's prize money is skyrocking as we continue the hazing. HUZZAH ;-)

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 04:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! In a word, stunning. Perhaps an odd word to use given that Violator continued in the general vein of the previous two studio efforts by Depeche Mode: Gore's upfront lyrical emotional extremism and knack for a catchy hook filtered through Wilder's ear for perfect arrangements, ably assisted by top English producer Flood. Yet the idea that this record would both dominate worldwide charts, while song for song being simply the best, most consistent effort yet from the band could only have been the wildest fantasy before its release. The opening two singles from the album, however, signaled something was up. First was "Personal Jesus," at once perversely simplistic, with a stiff, arcane funk/hip-hop beat and basic blues guitar chords, and tremendous, thanks to sharp production touches and Gahan's echoed, snaky vocals. Then "Enjoy the Silence," a nothing-else-remains-but-us ballad pumped up into a huge, dramatic romance/dance number, commanding in its mock orchestral/choir scope. Follow-up single "Policy of Truth" did just fine as well, a low-key Motown funk number for the modern day with a sharp love/hate lyric to boot. To top it all off, the album itself scored on song after song, from the shuffling beat of "Sweetest Perfection" (well sung by Gore) and the ethereal "Waiting for the Night" to the guilt-ridden and loving it "Halo," building into a string-swept pounder. "Clean" wraps up Violator on an eerie note, all ominous bass notes and odd atmospherics carrying the song. Goth without ever being stupidly hammy, synth without sounding like the clinical stereotype of synth music, rock without ever sounding like a "rock" band, Depeche here reached astounding heights indeed. ;-)

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 04:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! I'm crying tears of laughter ;-)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 10:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! ;)

― Cozen (Cozen), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 11:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! Eat my dust, you insensitive mother fucker! ;)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 18:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! Contemplate this on the tree of woe! ;)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 18:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! I want to crush my enemies, see them driven before me, and hear the lamentations of their women! ;)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Astounding! If people find farting unpleasant, they should either go elsewhere or ask for the favor of stopping. This is very simple and not at all rude.
Everyone understands that some people find farting pleasant, some people find it deeply unpleasant, and some people don't care much either way. This strikes me as the sort of situation that can easily be managed via normal social standards of appropriate behavior and politeness and decision-making. If a farter really wants to spend time with someone with a farting allergy, he's going to have to do it in a fartless setting. If a person who abhors farting wants to spend time with farters, he might have to get used to their either farting nearby or constantly nipping outside. In either case, people can decide it's just not worth it. And that's fine...

In addition to this, I'm curious about in what situations people feel they're being unfairly subjected to farts. One thing you may not realize about a lot of farters is how often one refrains from farting -- even when allowed -- simply because the setting isn't appropriate. Out at a bar with non-farting colleagues from work: you go across the room to let off. From what I can tell, most everyone farts in the following situations: (a) alone and outside, (b) alone and in a space that's clearly labelled as being fartable, and (c) in the company of others, when the others are either mostly farting themselves or tolerant enough of it that it doesn't feel impolite. In none of those situations can I locate anyone who's being subjected to anything unfairly. The most I can find is people who have lost the battle to control the social environment -- just like people whose friends always want to go to the most horrible bars -- and are now in the position of deciding whether it's worth compromising on the issue or bailing out. And even those people, if they ask politely, can often get the farters to accommodate them -- by cutting down, by going across the room, by going outside, or by stopping altogether.

In sum: farters know plenty of people don't like farts. The average young farter, it seems to me, makes good-faith efforts about not bothering anyone with it. This is because people want to be liked, and as such can curb their more irritating behaviors if they feel they're unduly bothering someone. But there comes a point where sometimes you're going to indulge in your irritating behavior, and if people aren't up for it, then they should stay away, because for the time being you're busy doing that thing you do that they turn out to hate.

;)

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 18:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Now I object.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 18:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! Is it REALLY a sin to fart? ;-)

― Sommermute (Wintermute), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! Where diid you find that, Ally? ;-)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 18:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! The smoking thread is a hot bed of fantastic Momus quotes, Dan ;)

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 18:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens!
90% of all sickness and disease begins in an
UNCLEAN COLON!
Since "Death begins in the colon," you should find out HOW to
clean your colon.
Toxins and waste build up in your colon just like they do in the pipes of your home. Both
demand immediate attention or the results can be disastrous!
;)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 20:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! NED VS PITCHFORK FITE!! ;-)

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 21:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! What a large font you have ;-)

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 21:35 (twenty-two years ago)

(Heavens! fixed tag hopefully ;))

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 21:47 (twenty-two years ago)

(Heavens! Are we no longer XTREE BOLD? ;-))

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 21:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! This better not be in bold ;-)

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 21:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! I thik I fukced that up pretty badly, eh? ;-)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 21:55 (twenty-two years ago)

(btw, it displayed as i intended in "Opera", I had to check in netscrape exBLOATer to see what everyone ws on abt)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 21:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens! To Lou Even ;-)

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 21:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Heavens, was that Granny in her laddered tights, with a shotgun;)?

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 1 July 2003 22:01 (twenty-two years ago)

one month passes...

Heavens! I can't make my face into a heart ;-)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 7 August 2003 16:45 (twenty-two years ago)

one year passes...

Heavens! This thread should be revived. Oh yes.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 February 2005 16:37 (twenty-one years ago)

heavens! chocoteats!!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 18 February 2005 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Heavens! Chocoteats (.)(.)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 February 2005 16:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Heavens! mayahee mayahoo mayaha mayahaha ;)

― Allyzay Dallas Multi-Pass (allyzay), Friday, 18 February 2005 16:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Heavens, here we go again. (Not that I mind at all of course.) ;-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 February 2005 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Heavens! Mighty Mouse girlfriend found dead in Kryptonite Cheese Shocka!;)

― Ken L (Ken L), Friday, 18 February 2005 16:49 (twenty-one years ago)

And stuff like that!

― Remy (Heavens! another Nedism ;-) (x Jeremy), Friday, 18 February 2005 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Heavens, Vorga, I kill you filthy;)

― Ken L (Ken L), Friday, 18 February 2005 16:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Heavens! the USA has fuxxored the world by re-electing George Bush ;- )

― Masked Gazza, Friday, 18 February 2005 16:57 (twenty-one years ago)

HAEVNES! HI DERE WAHT IS IT MADE? --;(

― Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:22 (twenty-one years ago)

heavens! TARTMONSTER

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Heavens! an ice moth!!!!

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:23 (twenty-one years ago)

heavens! it's the final countdown!!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey hey hey, where's the ;-) on these claims?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Heavens! I kill you for missing out emoticons! ;-)

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:28 (twenty-one years ago)

heavens! i forgot my emoticon!! ;-);-);-)

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:29 (twenty-one years ago)

HAEVENS! BUT WHICH TO DROP ANCOHR IN?!?;)

― Ken L (Ken L), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Heavens! I fuxored a sheep!

― Deerninja B4rim4, Plus-Tech Whizz Kid (Barima), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Haevens! What are the odds of that?!?;)

― Ken L (Ken L), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Heavens!
Pine Sol makes you
Taste like trees
This will have him
On his knees
LYSOL DOUCHE ;-)

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Friday, 18 February 2005 18:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Heavens! All your base are belong to us. ;-)

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Friday, 18 February 2005 18:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Richie Havens! I absolve thee.

― Deerninja B4rim4, Plus-Tech Whizz Kid (Barima), Friday, 18 February 2005 19:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Heavens! SATISFY YOUR WOMAN PINDICK ;-)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 February 2005 19:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Hahaha.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 February 2005 19:53 (twenty-one years ago)

HAEVENS! DAEREST RED PANDA: UR CUET. ;-)

― j.lu (j.lu), Friday, 18 February 2005 20:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Heavens! Hahaha. ;-)

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 18 February 2005 20:27 (twenty-one years ago)

HEAVENS!
ihttp://foobar.net/fuX0Red.jpg
EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T LIKE DMB, YOU'RE STILL MORONS!!!!!;)

― LYSOL D ARISTOCRAT (Ken L), Friday, 18 February 2005 20:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Heavens! "On at least two incidents in mid-to-late June 2004, Patterson intensely pressured Keller to expose herself to Koko while they were working outside where other employees could potentially view Keller's naked body. ... On one such occasion, Patterson said, 'Koko, you see my nipples all the time. You are probably bored with my nipples. You need to see new nipples. I will turn my back so Kendra can show you her nipples.' " ;-)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 February 2005 20:51 (twenty-one years ago)

two years pass...

Heavens! Even a cursory reading of Foucault would have shown us this ;-)

― HI DERE, Friday, 25 May 2007 20:20 (nineteen years ago)

Heavens! all the girls i've ever dated have loved to be cummed on ;-)

― jessie monster, Friday, 25 May 2007 20:30 (nineteen years ago)

Heavens! oh you can die then you fucking chocolate bastard ;-)

― onimo, Friday, 25 May 2007 20:35 (nineteen years ago)

Heavens! Ron! I am gonna vomit your ass. ;-)

― HI DERE, Friday, 25 May 2007 20:44 (nineteen years ago)

Heavens! I appear to have killed again. Oh well, this child will decompose quickly ;-)

― Ronan, Friday, 25 May 2007 21:01 (nineteen years ago)

Heavens! i am want toasked me for 96 sance postion and sexulitity and srach me friend in my city andi want to like sex and i read to 69 postion ;-)

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Friday, 25 May 2007 22:02 (nineteen years ago)

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