I've just hit 30...

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my personal life is fucked, i don't like my job much but i need it in order to pay off loans credit cards etc, i wish i was writing more and doing what i love instead of making other people look better than they are for more money than me and i don't own anywhere to live. i just typed my age into something and i just realised for the first time, properly, that i'm 30 and life should be a damned sight more sorted! is this kind of worry normal!?

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 09:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Hello Dave. Most people on ILE have just turned 30 and are in the same position. It's normal.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:02 (twenty-two years ago)

oh and the biggest point of concern is that i still can't take any of this seriously!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:03 (twenty-two years ago)

apparently...rather than worry about being 30 tho there should probably be more effort put into shifting the view in this culture that 30 is old when its not. i suppose its just because you're 12 years past 18 which is usually the point where you're able to do anything you want and have your own independence, go to whatever pubs and clubs etc. and people ten years younger than you can do all the same things you can - tho not necessarily any better, plus they have less general experience usually. being 30 doesnt have to mean anything at all with regards to feeling you should have settled down, have the job of your dreams etc. - its looking less likely than ever in fact due to the way society and attitudes have changed in the last 50 years.

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:05 (twenty-two years ago)

i guarantee that when i'm 30 i will feel exactly the same as Dave, except probably a bit worse in a 'arrrgh, i still haven't done that, i might never get to do THAT now' way

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:07 (twenty-two years ago)

My bro recently hit 30 & had a terrible time of it. His music didnt seem to be taking off & he had split with his girl of 6 years. However, it's a little while later & he has met another girl who he is sure is 'the one' & the rest of his life seems to be falling into place. I cannot guarantee that this will happen for you Dave, but all I can say is hang in there & try to concentrate on things that make you happy. Try to surround yourself with uncomplicated friends who provide a shoulder & a good time.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:11 (twenty-two years ago)

it's all a matter of how you look at things and what attitude you have towards them, of course. but i think that nowadays it shouldn't be about being 30 or not, but rather about being married and having a mortgage to pay or not.
you've just started your best decade, dave :-)

― joan vich (joan vich), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:12 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm actually crying laughing with a similarly aged colleague abt the state of our lives, so i don't feel bad - just bemused

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:13 (twenty-two years ago)

come on then Dave, give us some advice on what i should do within the next 5 years...

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:16 (twenty-two years ago)

are you 25 steve?

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:18 (twenty-two years ago)

ding!

― joan vich (joan vich), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:18 (twenty-two years ago)

It's not time to make a change,
Just relax, take it easy.
You're still young, that's your fault,
There's so much you have to know.
Find a girl, settle down,
If you want you can marry.
Look at me, I am old, but I'm happy.

I was once like you are now, and I know that it's not easy,
To be calm when you've found something going on.
But take your time, think a lot,
Why, think of everything you've got.
For you will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not.

― chris (chris), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:19 (twenty-two years ago)

i also have abt 35 years till i lose control of my bladder

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Chris, you were joking weren't you?!

― Vicky (Vicky), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:26 (twenty-two years ago)

steve i'd strongly advise eating well, avoiding pies, drinking plenty of water, washing your hands after chopping scotch bonnet chillis (see sinkah's peppers thread for details), enjoying alcohol in moderation, not smoking, not spending too much on records, taking out a pension, settling down with someone nice and saving a little money every week... basically everything i have NOT done!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:34 (twenty-two years ago)

buy a lot of records, drink a lot, meet women (or men), have sex with most of them (both), get up late, eat ice-cream and chocolate.
do.not.grow.up. not until you're 50.

― joan vich (joan vich), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:37 (twenty-two years ago)

i eat bad but better than i used to - i rarely eat meat pies but i'm a sucker for Mr Kipling. i do not drink enough water tho. i dont eat scotch bonnet chillis. i do enjoy (if you can call it that) alcohol in moderation, i dont smoke (including weed or cess, cos its gonna give a brother brain damage), i've only bought about 5 'records' this year...dont have a pension tho. and as for settling down with someone nice...'whoops' is all i can say for now. no money saved but then i'd rather spend some first.

good stuff tho, cheers

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm still having my "turning 30" crisis at 33. In fact, I realise that in a lot of ways (career, music, etc) my life is more SHITE at 33 than it was at 25 or 30. Ugh.

I said early on in my 20s that if I hadn't "succeeded" at music by the time I was 30, I'd give it up and go get a Proper Job. A month before my 30th birthday, we had Hype - I mean, a review - in the NME saying we were the best new band in Britain. So I persevered. Now that my professional career is wrecked and the band broke up anyway so that others could follow *their* professional careers, I feel some slight bitterness. I am a freaking idiot, I guess. :-(

― kate (kate), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Dave - I turned 30 about 4 days ago, and from what you said my life sounds like a carbon copy of yours. So obv. I have no advice to give here.

― Nathan W (Nathan Webb), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:42 (twenty-two years ago)

that is no help nathan!!!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:52 (twenty-two years ago)

its rapidly approaching for me.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Monday, 21 July 2003 10:53 (twenty-two years ago)

my life is more SHITE at 33 than it was at 25 or 30. Ugh.

kate this is less help - lets go get drunk together!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry Dave! I'll email you off board tonight, from yer other thread I am (or was a couple of months ago) going through exactly the same stuff, so some mutual wallowing/commiserating seems in order.

― Nathan W (Nathan Webb), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:02 (twenty-two years ago)

no worries, this is a half-joke thread - i want to hear abt other people's misery!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I must say, however, in my 30s defense, that although I'm not particularly in a better situation, I'm more content (maybe complacent) about the situations I am in. 10 years ago, I wouldn't have lasted a month at this job, demeaning and annoying as it is, and I've been here 6 months.

That's not a good thing, mind you. But it is symptomatic of the fact that things just don't bother you as much the older you get.

― kate (kate), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:12 (twenty-two years ago)

of course I was joking upthread, my life has taken a lot of turns for the better since thirty (well just before anyway) it's great.

― chris (chris), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:12 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm hoping it's going to be ok to be honest - the fact that i'm really paying any attention to any of this stuff and actually thinking abt changing it is a major bit of growing up on my part in itself!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:14 (twenty-two years ago)

oh and feel free nathan, this email works fine

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:14 (twenty-two years ago)

My brother turned 30 just under three years ago and promptly split up with his (just-graduated-as-a-vet) girlfriend of two years, sold his house on the outskirts of Bath/Bristol, quit his £15k + bonus + car + free records job with Vital and moved back to Exeter. Verily turning 30 do sucketh. He's now selling wheelchairs to cripples.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:17 (twenty-two years ago)

My personal life is going very well, but creatively and professionally I haven't achieved any of the things I have wanted to do by the time I have thirty (I still have a month before that happens but I doubt anything will happen in the meantime). It has made me feel so worthless and inadequate. I'm increasingly convinced I should be put on an ice flow and drift off to sea.

― Larcole (Nicole), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I heard many years ago that surveys have shown that most men are happier in their 30s than their 20s. I always clung to that. Whereas women are on average happier in their 20s.

I don't know if this is all about marriage suiting men and not women, or about all the thirtysomething single women panicking more than the single men do. Anyway Dave - look on the bright side. You could be trapped in a loveless marriage, having lost touch with your single friends (all still living the high life), having dinner parties with people you hate where the only topics of conversation are property prices, DIY and what car you're driving.

But do get a pension.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:20 (twenty-two years ago)

even I've got a pension these days.

I found it almost painful to get it though, I had more trouble with that than actually turning 30.

― chris (chris), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:22 (twenty-two years ago)

When I actually turned 30 in May I had been thinking about it for so many years that it didn't really affect me much. It's only when telling people my age, in conversation or on a form, that it has been bothering me a bit.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Verily turning 30 do sucketh. He's now selling wheelchairs to cripples.

go away nick... i am now officially terrified!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm just a fucking nightmare. Job-wise at least. 8 months to go...

― Mark C (Mark C), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:24 (twenty-two years ago)

In a very real sense, we're all selling wheelchairs to cripples.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:25 (twenty-two years ago)

why should one get a pension at 30?

― joan vich (joan vich), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:25 (twenty-two years ago)

One shouldn't - one should get one at 18 but hey.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Pension plan, that is - in case that's the confusion.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:27 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah but most people don't earn any money until they're 30!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I have had a pension since i was 19, the only reason was my then company started a non-contributory one!! I am currently 27, so i still have a few years to go, but if i don't achieve all of the things i am planning for the next few years, i shall revisit to moan about it!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Most people?

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:28 (twenty-two years ago)

God - now you're telling me I should suddenly be reversing the salary slide I've been on the last few years, Dave?

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:29 (twenty-two years ago)

i understood about the pension plan. it just appears to me as a very conservative thing to do when you're 18, or even when you're 30...

― joan vich (joan vich), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Pension plan? Christ, my dad is 60 and doesn't have one.

― kate (kate), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Better to be conservative at 18 than broke and having to work past 70...

― Vicky (Vicky), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Joan - the amount people are projected to have to pay in these days to get a comfortable salary when they retire is quite high. Much higher than most people are on course to have done, and not starting young is a good way to fuck it up.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Esp. since the social supports that are there for the elderly right now are not likely to be there by the time we retire.

― Larcole (Nicole), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I started young, but mine will still be worth nowt!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 21 July 2003 11:46 (twenty-two years ago)

vicky, being conservative at 18 is definitely no good.
having to work at 70? my dad wishes he could be working at 70, he's so bored with his retirement life, and he thinks he's useless now and all those things old people start thinking when they retire and get old.
i can't understand the idea of working hard when you're young so you can have your time when you're old... but then again, i do work hard now, so...

― joan vich (joan vich), Monday, 21 July 2003 12:20 (twenty-two years ago)

pensions, schmensions...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 12:41 (twenty-two years ago)

i think this generation will be working later in life given how the majority of people now use computers and so its more feasible to do the job many of us do now when we're 60, 70. of course that will depend on what state we're in at that age so Dave's advice to ease up on intoxicants is sound. the biggest problem for me right now is i get very little exercise and i fear the implications of this in my later life.

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 21 July 2003 12:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Joan I have no problem with the idea of working till 70 or even beyond, but sooner or later I'm likely to be unable to find or carry out a job anymore and I'd rather not be destitute.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 12:51 (twenty-two years ago)

When I get on a bit in years I want to be able to do what my grandparents do, always going off on holiday, and enjoying themselves.

I don't understand why it's seen as uncool to put a set amount of money aside every month (lets face it, if it goes out before the money goes in the bank, after a couple of months you don't feel any more broke than before)so you can enjoy life in the years to come.

Better to be 'conservative' and have a pension, no debt etc, than messed up finances. I find it quite disturbing when some people talk quite proudly of the vast debt they've built up, which means they can't enjoy their life to the full for years to come.

Anyway, 30 is no longer the milestone it once was. More people are going to uni which means starting their careers later, then changing careers, or taking longer to decide what they want to do. More people are leaving the parental nest much later, and not settling down and having families until later.

I think everyone gets to milestone ages and wonders if there's something wrong with them, because they're not at the stage they thought you would be when they imagined what it would be like to be that age. I was like that at 18, then 21, and I'm sure I'll be facing a similar crisis at 30.

― Vicky (Vicky), Monday, 21 July 2003 12:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Um, but Vicky, your life's great. You're right about the pension thing, though.

Conservative != sensible, discuss.

― Mark C (Mark C), Monday, 21 July 2003 13:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Mark, you're right, my life's got much more on course in the past year or so, so i'm more on track for what I expected at 30. Don't think I'll have the 2.4 kids though!

We've already had the sensible = uncool etc. dicussion, but I forget the outcome...

― Vicky (Vicky), Monday, 21 July 2003 13:04 (twenty-two years ago)

i am not sensible but i am also aware, more now than ever before, that i will never be cool, either

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 21 July 2003 13:17 (twenty-two years ago)

just live your life. age doesn't matter. really.
(i know that is probably hard to absorb right now, but my 39th birthday is today and after a while you just stop caring and/or defining yourself by age)

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 21 July 2003 13:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Dave, I'll be 30 in December. I'm happy actually. I'm glad to be finally getting out of my 20s

But I do get pissed off. Mainly b/c all of my furniture is breaking and I never have a reliable car. I mean, I've given up on being the first female president and being rich and famous. But goddamit can't I have a decent bed and a car that I'm not always worrying about dying? :(

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 07:09 (twenty-two years ago)

but yr the coolest girl in dallas and have great taste in cocktails so you can be happy w/ that!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 08:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry I didn't email you last night Dave, but I couldn't remember yer email address - and obv. couldn't grab it from ilx. I'll try again tonight...

― Nathan W (Nathan Webb), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 08:35 (twenty-two years ago)

no worries - was out most of the evening anyway, but yeah do get in touch if you like

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 08:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought this thread was going to be about that mad old man whose car went careening through that marketplace in Santa Monica. NO I DIDN'T.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 09:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Just about everyone I know says they're enjoying their 30s more than their 20s. I'm having a great time in my late 20s, and can't imagine it getting better but I think it might!

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 09:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think I'd have a pension if I hadn't been signed up wholesale for my work one. This is ok because I don't have to think about it, but if it was a case of starting one, I wouldn't. Well, couldn't. I literally live from hand to mouth at the moment. There is NO money after rent and bills and food.

Hopefully this will not last long.

I have stopped really thinking about age, and what I 'should' be doing at each 5 year landmark etc. I have friends who are 40 with no responsibilities/families/careers who are really happy, friends who are 18 with more responsibility than I can imagine dealing with, who are really happy, and friends of all ages who are miserable. I'm just going to see what happens.

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 09:41 (twenty-two years ago)

friends of all ages who are miserable

i don't know why but this made me laugh... i'm a bad person...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 09:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Lots of people I know started pension-type things when they were 18, only to cash them in five years later to buy flash guitars and stuff.

My mum once sold me a pension (forcing me to lie about being a smoker on the form). I had to pay £30 a month. I managed to do that twice, so I've got sixty quid waiting for me when I'm old, which I will splash out on a future-whore.

I turn 30 in about three weeks technically. So I lie about my age and I'll be publically celebrating my 26th. Problem solved.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 10:02 (twenty-two years ago)

in the latin countries the pension plans consist in having kids and buying a house so you don't have to rent it when you're old. it works.

― joan vich (joan vich), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 11:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Who guarantees that you're going to be able to find a partner and have kids?

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 11:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Hahahahaha buying a house. That's a good one.

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 11:31 (twenty-two years ago)

in the latin countries the pension plans consist in having kids and buying a house so you don't have to rent it when you're old. it works.

I think that's how it works in the US most of the time too.

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 11:33 (twenty-two years ago)

you're right about the buying a house bit, archel.
and nick is prob. otm as well on the finding a couple one.
maybe our new model of society will change that as well. we're going backwards!

― joan vich (joan vich), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 11:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Are you allowed to sue your kids if they don't give you enough money for the bills?

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 11:38 (twenty-two years ago)

i hope in the next few years you'll be allowed to implant a microchip in your kids' brains so that they are forced to love you and pay your rent when you're old. there's research being done right now on this subject.

― joan vich (joan vich), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 11:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Eyeball Kicks, you're only able to cash in 25% of your pension for a lump sum, with the rest being used to buy an annuity. So your future whore may not be the high-quality, top of the range robot fuckslut you were hoping for...

― Mark C (Mark C), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 13:11 (twenty-two years ago)

what is all this crap about pensions i want misery and angst to make myself feel better!!! ;-)

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 13:12 (twenty-two years ago)

NYT article on turning 30

if women are supposed to be happiest in their 20's, then i'm fucked.

i just turned 29 and i keep hoping that my 30s will be better.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 13:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey Dave-be happy...I had my life until age 30 all figured out and they it all came crashing down about 3 months ago. Now I get to think about how little I want to be doing what I'm doing now and how much I wanted to do what I was doing three months ago but now I can't. To top it off, I have to explain to people CONSTANTLY why I'm not doing what I was supposed to be doing.

This sounds all very vague and bizarre, but do realize that I'd much rather be in your position. Hell, you write for a magazine with a great article this month on reggae 45 labels by oh-so-kind-and-lovely Steve Barrow. That's a big plus in my book...There's no need for angst.

― cybele (cybele), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 13:54 (twenty-two years ago)

JuliaA - sex becomes more enjoybale, if that's any consolation.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 13:56 (twenty-two years ago)

and the ward 21 record is fab cybele, so life could be a bit worse!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 13:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, and just for good measure, my personal life is fucked too.

― cybele (cybele), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 13:58 (twenty-two years ago)

As far as I can recall - and it's hard to remember back to the '80s with the brain cells decaying every day, of course - turning 30 didn't bother me in the slightest. And before I turned 40 (4 years ago) I had other things to worry about than meaningless milestones, so that didn't bother me either.

If you can afford it, a pension isn't a bad idea at all, but I only started mine after turning 40, and I don't plan to let this worry me.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 20:22 (twenty-two years ago)

steve i'd strongly advise eating well, avoiding pies, drinking plenty of water, ...enjoying alcohol in moderation, not smoking, not spending too much on records, taking out a pension, settling down with someone nice and saving a little money every week... basically everything i have NOT done!

Dave I'm 25 and I know people who are 21,22 that I see on a regular basis who are taking your advice and they are the most boring motherfuckers ever. When I hit 30 I plan to at least have a decade of crazy stories, fuck the health plan and the pie avoiding. I mean even the guys I know who are trying their hardest to plan for the future and do everything right are still getting fucked up left and right by the whimsy of fate, so why not have some fun?

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 20:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean even the guys I know who are trying their hardest to plan for the future and do everything right are still getting fucked up left and right by the whimsy of fate, so why not have some fun?

This should be my motto for life.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 20:52 (twenty-two years ago)

you can have fun without pies

apparently

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 21:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Jason Biggs to thread

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 22 July 2003 21:03 (twenty-two years ago)

millar is OTM

― joan vich (joan vich), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 08:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Fancy A Pie?

― joan vich (joan vich), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 08:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I always fancy pie

― Weebl's friend Bob (RickyT), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 08:49 (twenty-two years ago)

you can have fun without pies

apparently

but it's much harder to achieve than fun with pies. i am going to eat pies for lunch today... pies have actlly had very little impact on my life to be perfectly honest, they're apparently just not very good for you.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 08:53 (twenty-two years ago)

pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 10:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Look, we really have to stop letting the media/modern culture's aging myths influence so greatly as to berate ourselves for thinking or feeling that we "should" have accomplished such and such by a certain age, "should have" experienced this or that at a cetain time. All of these are unreasonably expectations, as they are based on fictitious presumptions of fulfillment and happiness: if you are at this age, you should be drinking and sexing such-and-such amount, since this is the "prime of your life," the best years you'll ever have, and this behavior is "fun."

Nonsense. Live life as it comes; we must stop blaming ourselves for not living up to mass culture's expectations of age-accomplishment, and misguided judgments about youth alone equaling fantasy or pleasure, or age alone equalling sagacity or wisdom. Archel is so OTM up above - imo, I believe that any year could be a "best year of your life" if you happen to steer clear of fatalistic catastrophe...

...actually I don't believe that at all probably, since the karmic patterns you are born with pretty much make your acquiesence a moot issue: you can either live up to your Fate in this lifetime, or whine about it. The most sensible, practical thing to do is study your horoscope to realize when your most advantageous and benefic periods will occur, and plan accordingly, so you don't have to complain any longer about being struck blindly by bad karma! Palmistry also helps in this regard, right?

As opposed to some of the sorostitutes I see walking about gaily, my own youth in this lifetime is utterly destroyed as I am enduring the greater period of the North Node of the Moon from age 11 to 29 (my ENTIRE youth!), and this shadowy planet is debilitated in my chart, capsizing all of my vastest and most tender aspirations. But I am not disappointed about all of this anymore, and NO LONGER DO I BLAME myself (in contrast to so many others who do - I just try my best and that's good enough for me!) for most of the externally-originated mishaps that I live through in this time, knowing that even though I was ultimately responsible for this negative karma by putting into into motion many ages ago, it's the unavoidable negative planetary energy I have to deal with right now that is putting obstacles in my path. And only 6 more years to go, until I enter my greater Jupiter period, who is a benefic in my chart, and under whose domain I will thrive until age 45, when my life enters stern Saturn's rule, and things get a bit darker again.

― Vic (Vic), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 11:12 (twenty-two years ago)

sorostitutes is my new favourite word

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 11:19 (twenty-two years ago)

[From age 6-11 malefic Mars was ruling over my life, and He is a triple-significator of disease in my chart, but I only wish I knew this back then. Since I had numerous self-esteem issues due to my lingering health problems which were incorrectly attributed to "weak appetite", and went through multiple physicians, and unsuccessful attempts at finding a cure for my seemingly chronic ailments (involving rhinitis). All of this culminated in a successful operation before the age of 12 which removed my adenoids, and it was right about that time that the North Node's influence took center stage and supplanted that of Mars, whose began to wane; sometimes, a transitional year is required in between the changing of major planetary periods.]

― Vic (Vic), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 11:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Their is no equivalent word for frat-boys, 'tis a shame. But I liked how this one guy I met described himself as being "fratatstic" as a loose synonym for "straight-acting."

Being an astrologer, it can get really depressing at times studying the charts of friends or clients who only happen to have one bad period following another arising in their lives, and transits and progressions must also be duly examined here as well. Diplomacy helps in this regard, but exactly how are you supposed to say: "your best days really are behind you; from here on it's all illness and sadness and separation from loved ones and loss of property and wealth" ? Some people have multiple planets that are afflicted, and it's just difficult to describe what to say in these situations. Sometimes, it's best to not depict the details, but I still don't believe that ignorance = bliss, since essential planning is often required.

― Vic (Vic), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 11:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Fratastic = assonance with craptastic, explains much.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 23 July 2003 12:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I am, by most of these standards, a sad middle-aged bastard ( though about 27 in my head).

I am deeply saddened by the pension obsession. Like most other SM-ABs, I have lost a few friends on the way, by accidents/cancer etc. Their pensions did them sod all good.

Would you guys please think about not deferring your lives until you are 60. If you don't make it, I guarantee your last thoughts will not be pleasure at your financial forethought.

― Weebleman (StillSimon), Thursday, 31 July 2003 20:25 (twenty-two years ago)

It just comes out of my pay cheque. I am not deferring my life!

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 31 July 2003 21:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Would you guys please think about not deferring your lives until you are 60. If you don't make it, I guarantee your last thoughts will not be pleasure at your financial forethought.

Only if you able to have a last thought, to start with.

I'm on the corner of 30, and too, have little to show for it. I'd be depressed, if I didn't see this period as temporary. The Grim Reaper won't hear you begging for more time, so live well now. (And yes, you can try if you don't blow what's left [after rent, mortgage, etc] on vices.)

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 31 July 2003 21:47 (twenty-two years ago)

But vices are the best thing I have in life right now? If I didn't indulge them where would I find the little bit of pleasure I do have in life?!?

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Thursday, 31 July 2003 21:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm all in favour of blowing my pension-deducted salary on vice.

― N. (nickdastoor), Thursday, 31 July 2003 22:12 (twenty-two years ago)

vice is what makes me feel alive!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 31 July 2003 22:55 (twenty-two years ago)

one year passes...

OK OK I'm usually all "nuthin but a number" but 30 (tomorrow - actually in about a half hour) is seeming kinda big-- unexpectedly. For those that have been there, was 30 a big deal? For those that haven't, do you fear the big 3-0? Etc.

― mcd (mcd), Friday, 15 October 2004 02:23 (twenty-one years ago)

three of my friends have had emotional crises about turning 30 this year, i have to say i didn't really "get" it. maybe that's because i only just turned 28. i don't really fear 30, in a way i look forward to it - my 30th is going to happen at a cool time for me, i will be just about to finish my second uni degree (in law, a long time ambition), hopefully about to start a cool job and i think i will probably go travelling in between uni and the job. life couldn't be cooler. also i will have done so many cool things by the time i'm 30, i'm not sure why i would feel sad - i don't believe i will feel as if i've missed out on anything at all.

― gem (trisk), Friday, 15 October 2004 02:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't feel any regrets of 'losing my 20s', I felt clueless for most of them, and am in a much better headspace now. It's more... well this month I also bought a house and my wife is due to have a baby in a month, job is in flux, so I guess it's a pile of things at once that could be contributing to my (slight, very slight) anxiety.

― mcd (mcd), Friday, 15 October 2004 02:36 (twenty-one years ago)

well maybe for you it's nice to be able to focus a bit of understandable anxiety about quite a few life-changing events on an insignificant number? everyone's a winner!

― gem (trisk), Friday, 15 October 2004 02:38 (twenty-one years ago)

30 didnt hit me til I was 30. 28, 29, still fine with it all... then a few months after my 30th I was walking thru a lovely posh bit of Hawthorn admiring the manicured lawns and tennis courts and I talked about the house I'd awlways wanted with my home office front room to my b/f... and suddenly thoght "OMG, I am 30 and I have not done a THING to reach that goal. No saving, no working 3 jobs, nothing. I HAVE WASTED MY LIFE!"

I whined about it to older friends, they told me to shoosh as things get better not worse, and they were right. Its all cool, the crisis passes.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 15 October 2004 03:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I just hit 25 and unless I stay on this very delicate grind I got going right now 25 is a very realistic middle age, trust this, you wouldn't even know. A shitload of my friends are sensing my very tenuous exit from BOOGIE WONDERLAND/TEAM SHEENAN and re-entry into REAL LIFE and a lot of them are showing mad love/support, but straight up, it's all up to me to stay cool or die. I know I got enough balls and word to be the fucken man but I'm dealing with some shit you wouldn't even believe and I brought it all upon myself and being player about the situation has my brain tenderer than alberta steak on 48hr marinade, shit.

― LeCoq (LeCoq), Friday, 15 October 2004 03:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Know who you are at every age, dude.

Or something.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 15 October 2004 03:18 (twenty-one years ago)

as i approach 30 (4 months to go, eep) i realise more and more that failing to accumulate money and possessions doesn't mean that one has wasted their life at all..

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Friday, 15 October 2004 03:18 (twenty-one years ago)

At age 30 I was working in a bank and playing in a band at night.
I met my future bride at 32.
Got married, chucked the the job and the band, moved to Vermont at 34 - and never looked back. Big changes, but all worth it.
Life's for livin'.

Happy birthday, mcd.

― jim wentworth (wench), Friday, 15 October 2004 03:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Well you're even about to do the opposite, innit. Which I think is a cool move actually!

Buying a property is the only "normal big life goal" I ever had anyway tho.

On the plane to sydney the other day I read an article about "adultescents" (wtf is with these shitty terms) - 30 year olds who still hadnt achieved what the article called "the" major life milestones of home, marriage and kids.

Why the hell do they think owning a home is a life goal anymore? Hello, who in Aus can AFFORD A HOME NOW.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 15 October 2004 03:21 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah my brother looks down on me because i drive an old bomb of a car and rent my home instead of buying it. but i have an excellent and continuing education, a great job and loads of completely tops friends. i'm pretty contented at the moment, i can't honestly see it changing in the next 2 years. i guess it's all about what's important to the individual though.

― gem (trisk), Friday, 15 October 2004 03:21 (twenty-one years ago)

you are right trayce - i have given up the goal of owning a home for the foreseeable future. i would rather rent in a location i like and invest the difference in $$.

― gem (trisk), Friday, 15 October 2004 03:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Hello, who in Aus can AFFORD A HOME NOW.

exactly. certainly no single person can realistically do so unless they're pulling six figures in.

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Friday, 15 October 2004 03:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Agree with you too gem - I feel like Ive been happy with the life Ive led, and I own a lot of good quality furniture and have done a bit of OS travel and learned lots of varying skills/jobs, which is way more than either of my married with kids brothers have done. FFS one brother is so flat out with his job and family he's never even been able to come to Melb to see my place :(

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 15 October 2004 03:29 (twenty-one years ago)

And Ive been down here 12 years!

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 15 October 2004 03:30 (twenty-one years ago)

same same with my brother trayce!! i said to him, don't you wish you'd had a chance to go backpacking and do some crappy hospitality jobs and meet lots of people (which is how i spent my early 20s)? he said "no, having children is more important than all that messing about". so it's different strokes for different folks i guess.

― gem (trisk), Friday, 15 October 2004 03:32 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm 29 (30 on Nov 23) and I'm not even going to make a big deal of it. I feel like I'm 22 anyway. Must be all the noise dudes. I'm fortunate in that where I live, people don't live within the boundaries of age, if that makes any sense at all.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 15 October 2004 03:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Happy b-day mcd! It's all downhill from here. Seriously, 28 was worse than 30 and, to quote Maugham, every new year is still better than the alternative.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 15 October 2004 03:55 (twenty-one years ago)

To quote Maugham, every new year is still better than the alternative.. Mr. White, I kiss you!

― Remy (x Jeremy), Friday, 15 October 2004 03:55 (twenty-one years ago)

crikey how rude of us all (except michael white)!! happy birthday mcd!

― gem (trisk), Friday, 15 October 2004 03:56 (twenty-one years ago)

*Timidly and without much ardor* I kiss you back Senor X.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 15 October 2004 04:01 (twenty-one years ago)

EW, YOU GUYS ARE SO OLD!

― phil-two (phil-two), Friday, 15 October 2004 04:26 (twenty-one years ago)

With any chance you will too phil-two, Mr. drools Hennesy down his front.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 15 October 2004 04:27 (twenty-one years ago)

http://pantransit.reptiles.org/images/1998-11-01/skull.jpg

like you I was once was, like me etc etc

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 15 October 2004 04:30 (twenty-one years ago)

i hope i make it to thirty, actually....

― phil-two (phil-two), Friday, 15 October 2004 04:35 (twenty-one years ago)

congratulations mcd, for making 30.

― phil-two (phil-two), Friday, 15 October 2004 04:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, happybarfday mcd! 30 is a goodun.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 15 October 2004 04:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I turned 30 last month and it was nothing. I think I was more conscious of the extra number during the 27-29 years, but 30 rolled right off of me. Like Gear, I still feel like I'm 22, but that's probably because I'm still in school.
Happy Birthday.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Friday, 15 October 2004 05:25 (twenty-one years ago)

30's okay. 33 is the next milestone. I'm a happier person and I know myself much better. I think my thirties are going to be okay.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 15 October 2004 10:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Well I am still 28, but it's something I worry about definitely. I think more from the pov of having children. I have just bought my first house & am planning to get married & have kids in the near future, but until it all start happening it's scary. It's like I arrived here in a flash & I'm like where did my 20's go!

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Friday, 15 October 2004 10:45 (twenty-one years ago)

turned 30 a few months ago & it didn't mean squat.
when i hit 25-26, i found i had to sleep more than 25 hours a week, and couldnt live off of coffee and pop tarts anymore. plus i never thought id make it 25 when i was 17
plus i look and feel about 22 , you know a 'late bloomer' or something

― kephm (kephm), Friday, 15 October 2004 12:29 (twenty-one years ago)

sometimes i get a little depressed when i think how jimi hendrix was jimi hendrix at 23 or something, and when i hear about 25million dollar quarterbacks who are in their early twenties, which is odd cause i don't care for sports too much but those guys are supposed to be older than me

― kephm (kephm), Friday, 15 October 2004 12:33 (twenty-one years ago)

i think when i hit 30 the only problem i'll have is having to tell people.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 15 October 2004 12:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, having everyone pointing and laughing at you can be a strain

― Daddyismus (Dada), Friday, 15 October 2004 12:40 (twenty-one years ago)

or even just being put into the "middle aged man" bracket

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 15 October 2004 12:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Err ken - you're not middle aged in your 30s. Unless you really want to be.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 15 October 2004 12:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Controversial Calum: You're only as young as the woman you feel, knowhorrimean, hyuk, hyuk, slobber, drool etc

― Daddyismus (Dada), Friday, 15 October 2004 12:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Controversial Calum: You're as young as the woman you feel, knowhorrimean, hyuk, hyuk, slobber, drool etc

― Daddyismus (Dada), Friday, 15 October 2004 12:43 (twenty-one years ago)

ive heard '30 is the new 21' and i don't quite follow

― kephm (kephm), Friday, 15 October 2004 12:44 (twenty-one years ago)

what age does middle age start?

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 15 October 2004 12:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Too soon.

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Friday, 15 October 2004 12:49 (twenty-one years ago)

40 at the earliest. Depends on how you act, a bit.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 15 October 2004 12:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Middle age?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 15 October 2004 12:55 (twenty-one years ago)

It's different to Middle Earth, Ned.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 15 October 2004 12:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey thanks for all the attention. Actually, I feel fucking great today! 30 is alright! Soon I'm going to buy some records.

― mcd (mcd), Friday, 15 October 2004 13:01 (twenty-one years ago)

It's different to Middle Earth, Ned.

Ah, then you are welcome to it.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 15 October 2004 13:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I've said it before and will say it again - my 30s have been MUCH better than my 20s ever hoped to be. Sure, I may not be a billionaire living in a mansion on the moon, but what little I have is enough. Age is unimportant; how you feel about who you are and where you are in your life is what matters.

Happy birthday!!!

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 15 October 2004 14:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I am 31 and have recently bought a mansion on the moon. However, I am not a billionaire yet and thus count my life as a failure.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 15 October 2004 23:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Whereas I AM a billionaire, but haven't yet bought a mansion on the moon. Perhaps a merger is in order?

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 15 October 2004 23:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Let's interface!

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 15 October 2004 23:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't wanna be just another one of your acquisitions, baby.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 15 October 2004 23:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Then it may have to be a hostile takeover.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 15 October 2004 23:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Set phasers on sexy!

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 15 October 2004 23:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm too old for this.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 15 October 2004 23:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, you ARE 31.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 15 October 2004 23:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Set phasers for cocoa.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 15 October 2004 23:26 (twenty-one years ago)

And knitting.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 15 October 2004 23:26 (twenty-one years ago)

eight months pass...

Four weeks since my 30th birthday and it's been amazingly stress free.

― leigh (leigh), Tuesday, 12 July 2005 11:12 (twenty years ago)

the pipe and slippers are intercepting the stress-waves.

― g-kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 12 July 2005 11:19 (twenty years ago)

I'm nearing 32. No more *just 30* still with one feet in yer twenties.

― nathalie's body's designed for two (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 12 July 2005 11:32 (twenty years ago)

Nath I thought you were 25, max! Don't worry, I have the same 'problem' too ;)

― LeCoq (LeCoq), Tuesday, 12 July 2005 11:36 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, that's where I'm stuck mentally. hahaha I'm actually serious.

― nathalie's body's designed for two (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 12 July 2005 11:44 (twenty years ago)

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