"I am a graduate of the university of life"

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does this phrase wind anyone else up as much as i does me? not that university attendance matters a fig really, just that i find the saying stupid and that it is generally used by people who have some axe to gring with "overprivileged youths scrounging of the state when they should be at work" etc...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:03 (twenty-two years ago)

just asking coz someone said this while ranting at me along similar lines over the weekend. i replied: "oh, so you're not only ignorant, you're actually quite pompous, too, congratulations..."

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought this was one of those cliches born entirely out of the minds of hack TV writers which no one in real life ever said. Guess I was wrong.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:07 (twenty-two years ago)

presumably you attend the University of Life after going to the School of Hard Knocks.

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:09 (twenty-two years ago)

After being used on TV enough people assume it's workable in real life

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:16 (twenty-two years ago)

People are pretty stupid

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:17 (twenty-two years ago)

People who only go to the "university of life" are especially stupid.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Dave Stelfox, you are a king among men.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:21 (twenty-two years ago)

doesn't everyone go to the university of life?

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:28 (twenty-two years ago)

well except for goths, who go to the university of clove cigarettes.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:28 (twenty-two years ago)

hott goth chix are an entirely different coven...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Do people really say this?

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:32 (twenty-two years ago)

"I am a graduate of the university of vodka"

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:32 (twenty-two years ago)

i went to the school of hard cocks

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:34 (twenty-two years ago)

they do indeed say it - up until saturday i had only heard it from cab drivers, tho...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:34 (twenty-two years ago)

"You see, I attended a little something called the school of hard drugs, you hear me?"

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Do you have to walk up hill both ways to the university of life?

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I think all of the people who say this should do some graduate study at the the school of Dan's right shoe all the way up your ass.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm assuming the school's football team is the FDNY flag football ramshackle team? They seem like they also went to the university of life.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:39 (twenty-two years ago)

i would be far more impressed by a qualification from the university of trife

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Do they have a sorority? How do you apply? Does it cost less than Columbia? Really? Oh.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:39 (twenty-two years ago)

It looks like you all dropped out of the high school of bad jokes.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Let's be honest here. No one ever has actually said this.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:41 (twenty-two years ago)

"Thank you for rushing Ima Kra Kho, the premier sorority at The University Of Life!"

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Nick, Dan's joke was actually kind of funny.

(xpost! See?)

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:42 (twenty-two years ago)

(Dude, I graduated from the high school of bad jokes with HONORS.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I think if someone really said this to me, I'd piss myself laughing at them.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd be all, "Shouldn't you be dead, then?"

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Were you Summa Cum Lauda?

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Magna Cum, baby.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:44 (twenty-two years ago)

"Graduate School of the Afterlife" sounds like something out of a bad episode of Touched by an Angel, though.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Summa is higher than Magnum!!!

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:45 (twenty-two years ago)

sororities/fraternities are the weirdest thing for british people to understand

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Hmm, bear in mind that it does have some truth: life can teach you a lot. Secondly it also hides an inferiority complex: Feeling less than a university graduate.

― nathalie (nathalie), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Magna Cum, baby.

(Because when I cum, metal objects fly towards my genitals. Oh, I don't like where this joke has gone.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:48 (twenty-two years ago)

(I blame hstencil for all the xposting.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:49 (twenty-two years ago)

People say it, man. But like you can LIVE and yet still attend University! Alert the reality police!

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:50 (twenty-two years ago)

i agree with nathalie, but i have absolutely no time for people with inferiority complexes

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:53 (twenty-two years ago)

come on... it’s just a way to protect oneself. Once again it’s all about class.
(x-post : what nathalie said)

― Bruno- (Bruno-), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:53 (twenty-two years ago)

it doesn't protect you at all, tho. it makes you sound like a wanker

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:54 (twenty-two years ago)

"Protect oneself" from what? I dropped out of high school and only just this year started going to university and you didn't see me wandering around announcing myself the valdictorian of hard knocks, did you? This thread isn't so much about making fun of people who are not university types but rather about people who feel the need to say something so retarded.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:55 (twenty-two years ago)

haha Jay-Z to thread.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Wow, that university must be pretty prestigious. After all, they let, uh, EVERYONE WHO'S ALIVE attend it.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh no, suddenly I'm Denis Leary.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:56 (twenty-two years ago)

thank you ally.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Dunno, what did you say to bring on this rant? (Remember the 'Pop Idol' guy who said "I CAN sing! I went to music school!")

― dave q, Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Like being Denis Leary is a bad thing.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:57 (twenty-two years ago)

i called they guy a stupid bastard while pontificating loudly upon the works of deleuze and guattari

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 12:59 (twenty-two years ago)

You were also waving a flag bearing the symbol of your Alma Matter, weren't you? Pretentious collegiate bastard.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Did you toss your sherry on him and swan off to a fox hunt afterwards?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:00 (twenty-two years ago)

nah, i was saying how the loan and fee system for higer education enforced by our current labour government was a betrayal of working class people coz it excludes them from universities. i mean, now, i doubt i'd be able to go and as for my kids, if i have any...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:01 (twenty-two years ago)

If he didn't, he should've! This is so my new thing, btw. I've taken to pretentiously wandering around wearing Columbia gear and I'm buying such for like everyone I know so we can all walk around and be pretentious and wankery, I think when I go back full time, I might join a sorority as well. Except I don't think they'd like me :(

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:02 (twenty-two years ago)

any sorority that wouldn't have you wouldn't be woth joining ally!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Next time I come to NYC, I'm bringing all of my ratty Harvard stuff so we can have an Insufferable Ivy League FAP.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I just want you guys to know that I went to the second oldest college in the US. OK bye!

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:04 (twenty-two years ago)

i went to university in liverpool - i am not ivy league!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Nick! Next time you're in NYC you bring all your college gear too! We'll have a big wanker party!!! And we'll taunt taxi cab drivers and their "university of life" ha ha. While we smoke cigars.

How much Harvard stuff you got, Dan? The real reason why I have like three or four Columbia shirts now is because I can buy them with my student loans, and I needed some new t-shirts and a hoodie, so I bought those. I can't go to a real store and give them my Columbia ID and say, "Hey! Use this to pay for my $200 worth of shirts," they'd look at me like I grew another head. Not at the school bookstore though.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:06 (twenty-two years ago)

graduating from the university of life = dying

― s1utsky (slutsky), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I've got a couple of sweatshirts (including two choir sweatshirts GOD I'M COOL) and a whole bunch of t-shirts (including two Harvard-Yale game shirts, one of which I got from my roommate who was in the band, YEAH REAFFIRM THAT COOL). I could be SWANK (if by "SWANK" I actually mean "PAINFULLY NERDY").

(xpost EXACTLY S1UTSKY!!!!!)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:12 (twenty-two years ago)

can i watch when i'm in ny!?

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Anybody who actually says this is failing out of the university of not being an asshat.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Of course!!

Actual conversation I just had:
Me: Hey, what do you think of the term "I went to the University of Life"?
Coworker: I went to St. John's. I WISH I went to the University of Life.

For some reason, this is like the funniest response in the world to me but writing it I realize it makes so little sense.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:19 (twenty-two years ago)

actually an evening of cigar-smoking asshattery one night the week after next could be fun

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Unfortunately I don't think I have any college gear. I was too "cool" in college for college gear. I had one shirt my senior year of high school to lord over my deadbeat fellow students that I was going to college, and a good one at that, and a t-shirt I got for free during freshman orientation, but I don't have either anymore. But since I live about an hour away from my alma mater, I could just swing by and pick up a monogrammed dressing gown with the college logo on the back before my next trip to NYC.
I think I had a dream last night about smoking a cigar. Your Freudian jokes here:

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I always get into arguments with W&M people about whether it or Harvard is older. I have no idea why. (Actually, I have an inkling that it's because I'm a pendantic ass about trivial shit but it is crucial to my self-esteem that I ignore this possibility for as long as I can.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Harvard is definitely older. I don't think there's any kind of "official" W&M dating that disputes that. I don't remember what they base the W&M age on, I guess from when it was chartered.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:25 (twenty-two years ago)

God, you're all such nerds!

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:28 (twenty-two years ago)

SHOCKAH

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:29 (twenty-two years ago)

What? Nerds on the internet?

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Smarties?

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:33 (twenty-two years ago)

what timing dave!

yesterday, while on the train home from duane FAP, I saw a guy with a 'university of life' t-shirt.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:40 (twenty-two years ago)

life is more like high school anyway

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:45 (twenty-two years ago)

lectures by steven m...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:46 (twenty-two years ago)

specialist subject heather mills

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I missed this and I am sad.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 25 September 2003 14:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Ned is a sad panda.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 14:38 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.gocollect.com/images/PotBellys/200/PBBPA.jpg

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 25 September 2003 14:53 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.gocollect.com/images/PotBellys/200/PBBPA.jpg

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 25 September 2003 14:53 (twenty-two years ago)

So very sad I had to say it twice.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 25 September 2003 14:54 (twenty-two years ago)

http://images.southparkstudios.com/img/content/characters/55a.gif

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 14:56 (twenty-two years ago)

THERE it is. Could find it with an initial search.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 25 September 2003 14:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I have a University of Sheffield mug. That's too banal to be wanky or nerdy.

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I have absolutely nothing from my university. I even lost my diploma.

― Carey (Carey), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:04 (twenty-two years ago)

i never even picked up my diploma

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:05 (twenty-two years ago)

The school of art knocks.

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:05 (twenty-two years ago)

was haertily pissed off that i got a 2:1 and refused to go to my graduation in a fit of pique that lasts to this day!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Knock knock.

Who's there?

The school of art.

The school of art who?

The school of art knocks! Knock knock!

Who's there?

Etc.

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:06 (twenty-two years ago)

that joke doesn't work... the punchline comes before it is set up therefore making the joke very unfunny. knock-knock jokes = an immutable structure

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I didn't go to my graduation either. I chose to drive the charter buses that carted thousands of parents to their children's graduation because I wanted money. So this is really a case of me being a graduate of the university of life and a real university.

― Carey (Carey), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Go on, then, Dave, I'll tell you a good 'Knock knock' joke. You start...

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I CAN'T START, YOU MANIAC - THIS IS TURNING THE WORLD OF COMEDY INSIDE OUT!!!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:16 (twenty-two years ago)

But you said it was an immutable form, Dave! Surely that means it must always start with 'Knock knock'! Not so hard, is it?

Okay, I'll start.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

(Your turn.)

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Must you always fuck with the mundanities of life, Momus?

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

No, just the graduates.

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Graduate!

Graduate who?

Graduate all wasabi in tube, gaijin?

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:23 (twenty-two years ago)

RIGHT, HERE'S HOW IT IS:
YOU SAY "KNOCK KNOCK"
I ASK: "WHO'S THERE"
YOU SAY "X"
I SAY "X WHO?"
YOU DELIVER THE PUNCHLINE "X-Y"

cue gales of laughter and everyone liking you!!!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Okay. 'Knock knock.'

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:25 (twenty-two years ago)

You must be popular, Dave.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:25 (twenty-two years ago)

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"X."
"X who?"
"X the band, fuckface! NOW GIMME SOME CANDY!"

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:25 (twenty-two years ago)

who's there?

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

X who?

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:27 (twenty-two years ago)

*seeing "punchline a mile off"*

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Xtremely sory, I am a gradute of life and cant think of a good ending for clevr joke's.

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Wahoo, I started my 3rd degree today! "I am a graduate of work and life avoidance!"

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Anime is t eh suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111 OMG WTF.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:33 (twenty-two years ago)

You must be popular, Dave.

i am at least as popular as momus

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:33 (twenty-two years ago)

But what was wrong with Momus's original joke?

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:34 (twenty-two years ago)

it wasn't funny

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:35 (twenty-two years ago)

you knew the punchline before it came - i was making an observation, trying to help momus be a funnier person

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Knock knock

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:37 (twenty-two years ago)

this is all my fault - i am a bad, bad man

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Who's there?

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Since we're all graduates here, I can reveal that the original joke was designed to recapitulate the basic structure of Joyce's 'Finnegan's Wake'.

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Banana.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Banana who?

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Knock knock.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Who's there?

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Banana.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Banana who?

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Knock knock.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh piss off.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Orange you glad I didn't say "banana"?

HAHAHAHAHA- Oh wait.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:39 (twenty-two years ago)

*immediately kicks Dan square in the nuts*

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Dan's joke, on the other hand, just recapitulates.

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I am now a gradutate of the school of intense crotch pain.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Orange you glad I didn't kick you more than once?

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Prof. Kearney's description of her class as pass/fail left out one key point...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Say what?

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:42 (twenty-two years ago)

momus

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Knock knock.

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Who's there?

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Knock.

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Knock who?

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Knock knock.

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:45 (twenty-two years ago)

GENIUS

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:45 (twenty-two years ago)

You're not going to get me into that vicious circle Dan pulled again, you know. I might've been stupid enough to go for it once, but never twice.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:45 (twenty-two years ago)

That one takes a lot of inspiration from the Bauhaus. I'm quite pleased with it.

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:45 (twenty-two years ago)

"Bela Lugosi's Dead" or "Third Uncle"?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually, Adolf Loos' monograph 'Ornamentation and Crime'.

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:49 (twenty-two years ago)

And believe me, did Peter Murphy ever sing that one well.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:53 (twenty-two years ago)

this therad is more annoying than the "university of life" comment... i have created a monster

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I got a W&M shirt my senior year of high school too because I had to out-snob everyone who was excited about going to LSU (Louisiana State).

I can't stop laughing at that damn panda!

KNOCK KNOCK.
WHo's THERE?
A SAD PANDA!

http://www.gocollect.com/images/PotBellys/200/PBBPA.jpg

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Won't you love me? Don't slam that door in my face again!

http://www.gocollect.com/images/PotBellys/200/PBBPA.jpg

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Thursday, 25 September 2003 16:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm hungry! My tummy hurts!
http://www.gocollect.com/images/PotBellys/200/PBBPA.jpg

― Sarah MCLUsky (coco), Thursday, 25 September 2003 16:01 (twenty-two years ago)

All this is making me really glad I'm about to get my degree from
here.

I bet they sell shirts in the mail, too! Hot damn!

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 25 September 2003 16:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not even gonna GET a degree, who am I kidding? I'm gonna be that sad fucker who is 50 years old yelling "I am a graduate from the university of LIFE!" to my kids who are all expecting me to suddenly PAY for them to go to some fancy ass motherfuck of a school, "No, you can go to ST. JOHN'S!!!!!!!!!!!!"

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 16:07 (twenty-two years ago)

to be 50 and have kids wailing at you for college money you're running out of time ally - you'll probably be nearer 60

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 16:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm 23 for fuck's sake!

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 16:11 (twenty-two years ago)

'My arms are actually fake and I am in fact masturbating copiously under this plush suit.'

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 25 September 2003 16:19 (twenty-two years ago)

oh dear momus have you noi sense of propriety - ally is only 23

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 16:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry, my Inner Dang is showing.

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 25 September 2003 16:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm just merely wondering how old Dave thinks I am that I am "running out of time" to have a child who will be 18 when I am around 50!! I am like secretly the ILX old crone or something. I have at least another 7 years before missing the "50" mark is even a concern!!! I don't want children anyway, they rip open your lower half or something to that effect, and then also the doctors don't take them out if they die?? I think that's what happened on the childlessness thread.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 16:24 (twenty-two years ago)

don't worry ally i was only messing around - i figured it wouldn't be much of a problem - i actually thought you were 25, but in no way an old crone!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 25 September 2003 16:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Herman Melville said something like this in Moby Dick: "A whaleship was my Harvard..." etc.

― ryan (ryan), Thursday, 25 September 2003 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I would be so much more accepting of someone who said that to me though. I would be pretty impressed actually.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 25 September 2003 17:17 (twenty-two years ago)

God I hate Ivy Leaguers

― cinniblount (James Blount), Thursday, 25 September 2003 17:22 (twenty-two years ago)

but I like men in uniform :( :( :(

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 17:24 (twenty-two years ago)

stop sending us to war then! < /profound political statement>

― cinniblount (James Blount), Thursday, 25 September 2003 17:32 (twenty-two years ago)

columbia is safe
yale is tired

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 25 September 2003 17:33 (twenty-two years ago)

"Damn, I really wanted to go to the university of life but I couldn't get in. My qualifications weren't quite good enough. I've always regretted it."

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 25 September 2003 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

W&M ain't ivy league.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 25 September 2003 17:46 (twenty-two years ago)

knock knock

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 25 September 2003 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

.....

(ha ha, i was playing Knock Down Ginger - sucker...)

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 25 September 2003 17:56 (twenty-two years ago)

University of Life is Ivy League.

― David. (Cozen), Thursday, 25 September 2003 18:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I haven't sent anyone to war, you bastard. You have me confused with the President, I know it's an easy mix up.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 25 September 2003 18:07 (twenty-two years ago)

There was a great Letterman interview with Drew Barrymore a couple of years ago where she was going on and on about how much she loved learning--traveling around the world learning all sorts of wonderful things. Letterman asked her why she wouldn't go to college if she was so into enriching her mind. Barrymore replied that she felt she'd learn more in "the college of life," to which Letterman quipped: "I betcha this whole college of life crap wouldn't get you too far if you weren't a rich move star."

― cybele (cybele), Thursday, 25 September 2003 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

then she flashed him

― cinniblount (James Blount), Thursday, 25 September 2003 18:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm still laughing at 'asshat', has that been in use for a while?

― nick.K (nick.K), Thursday, 25 September 2003 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

who wants to see my U of Life class ring?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 25 September 2003 19:50 (twenty-two years ago)

http://209.70.53.68/wblmgraphics/finger.jpg

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 25 September 2003 19:54 (twenty-two years ago)

i can bring princeton stuff! (i was too dumb to attend there, and my parents were dumb enough to move there)

― Little Big Macher (llamasfur), Friday, 26 September 2003 20:34 (twenty-two years ago)

i've been to every university and have majored in everything. in short, i am better than you. i just graduated in securing a position in life that is better than yours. i sit in an office and control your fathers, uncles and aunts thoughts. you deserve your lot in life. i will direct your every move in no time. i am fortunate by the grace of my work ethic. you are lazy and of mild intelligence. the world is best in my control.

― joe cockers, Friday, 26 September 2003 20:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I only got into the University of Life because I couldn't hack it in the real world

― Neil Willett (Neil Willett), Friday, 26 September 2003 21:43 (twenty-two years ago)

i graduated from bovine university.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Saturday, 27 September 2003 02:57 (twenty-two years ago)

this thread is comic brilliance.

(players university, class of 86/i don't pay and i don't trick)

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Saturday, 27 September 2003 05:19 (twenty-two years ago)

two months pass...

Revive!

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Friday, 12 December 2003 19:30 (twenty-two years ago)

No no, it will upset NA!!!

― Allyzay, Friday, 12 December 2003 19:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Why was I so much funnier three months ago than I am now? I'm killer on this thread.

― NA (Nick A.), Friday, 12 December 2003 19:34 (twenty-two years ago)

For real Nick, take your funny pills or something.

I am currently a professor at the Institute for Being a Total Fucking Idiot.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 12 December 2003 19:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I recently graduated from the university of hyperbole.

― NA (Nick A.), Friday, 12 December 2003 19:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Holy shit, I fogrot all about that "knock knock" exchange.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 12 December 2003 19:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I have an advanced degree in Snooze.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Friday, 12 December 2003 19:37 (twenty-two years ago)

The whole "Orange you glad I didn't kick you more than once" statement is the basis for my University of Life thesis actually.

― Allyzay, Friday, 12 December 2003 20:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I need to use the phrase "I am a graduate of the school of _________" more often.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 13 December 2003 05:32 (twenty-two years ago)

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