Does anyone think of themselves as ugly?

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I don't. I hate lots of different parts of my body in the same way all girls are supposed to, but I find myself thinking things like 'he only likes me because of how I look' so apparently I don't think of myself as ugly. Do other people worry about things like 'he only likes me because of how I look, what's going to happen when I get old, what's going to happen when he realises what I'm actually like'? And for people who think of themselves as unattractive, what's that like?

― Amity (Amity), Thursday, 18 December 2003 04:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think I'm ugly, I'm more beautiful than any of you could ever imagine...j/k.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 18 December 2003 04:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I know many, many people who do but shouldn't - and quite a few who don't but would be more bearable as people if they did, at least occasionally.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Thursday, 18 December 2003 04:56 (twenty-two years ago)

latebloomer, the sad thing is I actually think that way!!

― Andrew (enneff), Thursday, 18 December 2003 04:59 (twenty-two years ago)

(not really)

― Andrew (enneff), Thursday, 18 December 2003 04:59 (twenty-two years ago)

(well, maybe a bit)

― Andrew (enneff), Thursday, 18 December 2003 04:59 (twenty-two years ago)

"He might like me if I had looks on par with most everyone else, but as is there's no chance."

― Maria (Maria), Thursday, 18 December 2003 05:01 (twenty-two years ago)

i had a partner who told me she had never felt unattractive. never even thought about it. i should have realised it was never going to work out.

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 18 December 2003 05:02 (twenty-two years ago)

yes. next.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 18 December 2003 05:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm ugly and I think it makes me even more desirable. How screwed up is that?!

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 18 December 2003 05:13 (twenty-two years ago)

other people worry about things like 'he only likes me because of how I look, what's going to happen when I get old, what's going to happen when he realises what I'm actually like'?

Yes.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 18 December 2003 05:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, but I have photos taken of me anyways

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Thursday, 18 December 2003 05:25 (twenty-two years ago)

not ugly per se
just nondescript anymore,
fading into grey

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 18 December 2003 05:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not ugly, I'm short.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 December 2003 05:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not ugly, I'm conventionally unattractive.

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 18 December 2003 05:45 (twenty-two years ago)

hahaha

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 18 December 2003 05:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not ugly, I just crush a lot.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Thursday, 18 December 2003 05:47 (twenty-two years ago)

[[insert background female vocals]]

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 18 December 2003 05:48 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm not ugly but i hate my body. i have a pretty face i guess but my body looks all wonky and out of proportion. i don't know how anyone could be physically attracted to me, and when people are i convince myself that they are desperate.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 18 December 2003 05:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I'm fairly unattractive. But this viewpoint is bigger than me and so it would take a heck of a lot for me to start thinking otherwise.

Sorry for breaking the chain, sweets.

― Tenacious Dee (Dee the Lurker), Thursday, 18 December 2003 05:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I'm really healthy and I get all my clothes for free from friends/family or really cheap at second hand stores, so my look is more for functional purposes.

― A Nairn (moretap), Thursday, 18 December 2003 06:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not ugly, just poor.

― hstencil, Thursday, 18 December 2003 06:10 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm not poor, i just have bad taste

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 18 December 2003 06:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't have bad taste, I'm just lazy about it.

― A Nairn (moretap), Thursday, 18 December 2003 06:13 (twenty-two years ago)

(and I'm poor)

― A Nairn (moretap), Thursday, 18 December 2003 06:14 (twenty-two years ago)

I dont think I'm ugly, but I dont think I'm particularly stunning or interesting looking either. I have crappy skin and pisspoor fashion sense. On the other hand I dont really give a monkeys arse about this, I'm happy being me.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 18 December 2003 06:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not lazy, poor, or in bad taste. I'm just provocative.

― Andrew (enneff), Thursday, 18 December 2003 06:17 (twenty-two years ago)

i am ok looking and i have great fashion sense.
looks seem more important so society says

― todd swiss (eliti), Thursday, 18 December 2003 06:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not lazy, poor, in bad taste, or even (very often, deliberately,) provocative. I just lack social skills.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Thursday, 18 December 2003 06:32 (twenty-two years ago)

On the other hand I dont really give a monkeys arse about this, I'm happy being me

trayce, i love you!

and in case anyone gets the wrong idea from my post, that i'm desperately self-loathing, but i wouldn't change my body for the world. i mean, I turn ME on and thats pretty much all that matters.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 18 December 2003 06:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I look like I'm 42. For Christ's sake.

― Arthur (Arthur), Thursday, 18 December 2003 07:15 (twenty-two years ago)

i have a pretty face i guess but my body looks all wonky and out of proportion.

Ms Lurex lies, she is one hottt piece of ass.

― petra jane (petra jane), Thursday, 18 December 2003 08:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I sporadically feel like the Yeti Freak Woman - being 6ft tall and therefore being actually Big-Boned (i'm the same dress size as countless short round chinless girls) and unable to find shoes or bras in my size. But then all my short friends keep complaining that they wish they were tall or their bums too big so hey, statistically speaking i can't be that ugly cause pervy 30-40something men still openly letch on me more weekends than not!

― petra jane (petra jane), Thursday, 18 December 2003 08:39 (twenty-two years ago)

hey i'm 5'3" and have trouble finding bras in my size too. the ones i do find are FUCKING EXPENSIVE.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 18 December 2003 09:52 (twenty-two years ago)

ps tall chicks rule.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 18 December 2003 09:52 (twenty-two years ago)

This is me in front of a plate of cuscus.

http://www.nulleinn.is/files/m/ozzy_osbourne.jpg

I am usually banished to the basement.

― weather!ngda1eson, Thursday, 18 December 2003 10:05 (twenty-two years ago)

p.s. tall chicks rule.

I feel that I can look nice from time to time, but my default state is kind of meh so the *expectations* of people who like me are never strained too much.

Also, I've lost most of the hair I'm going to lose, so I'm hoping I can spend my 30s watching all my friends suffer the agonies of male pattern baldness while I chill with a 40*

I also think/hope that my face, if I can keep the marauding fat at bay, might become more characterful as its lines and idiopsyncracies get deeper.

*I still have no idea what this means.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 18 December 2003 10:11 (twenty-two years ago)

i think it has something to do with beer

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 18 December 2003 10:18 (twenty-two years ago)

It means drinking a large amount of beer, Barry. Something I've NEVER seen you do! ;-)

― HRH Queen Kate (kate), Thursday, 18 December 2003 10:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I used to be quite happy with the way I looked, but as I've got older and tubbier I've started to really dislike my body. I wouldn't describe myself as ugly, just not particularly attractive.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 18 December 2003 10:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I look like I'm 42. For Christ's sake.
-- Arthur (tabren123...), December 18th, 2003.

I am. But I don't look it...

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 18 December 2003 10:21 (twenty-two years ago)

In my head, I never think I'm ugly. I have an idea of what I look like and it bears little resemblance to what I look like in real life. Hence aversion to mirrors, cameras, etc, as they just point out what I am denying, i.e. that I am not terribly attractive.

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 18 December 2003 10:22 (twenty-two years ago)

yes.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Thursday, 18 December 2003 10:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Also, I look really, really bad in all photos ever.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 18 December 2003 10:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I am totally ugly, yes, but I don't think that I am ugly. In fact I am rather happy and comfortable with, and not self-hating about, my decidely portly and starting-to-bald self.

This gives me confidence, so I get to go out with really gorgeous girls, just not the kind of girls who are into pretty boys...

None of this made any sense to me until a few years ago, and it still doesn't make much sense. But basically, sexiness/ mack/ attractive-ness is not so much in the eye of the beholder as in the eye of the beheld. [Woooooh, that sounded like a fucking Hallmark card there, sorry.] It's all about delusion, I guess.

― yetimike (McGonigal), Thursday, 18 December 2003 10:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I think RickyT suffers from exaggerated photophear, but then again, don't we all?

I've grown to be quite content with things I was previously very dissatisfied with previously - mainly my face and to a lesser extent my hair. I feel like I am less satisfied with my body now that I've settled down (live-in boyfriend and an office job have killed my figure) but then again, I wasn't happy with my body when I was skinny, either, so I doubt that'll change. I suppose if it bothered me that much, I'd do something about it (again).

I guess I'm not so much less hard on my appearance as I am accepting of myself. I'm pleased with the fact that I've stayed relatively young-looking, i.e. I'm heading towards my mid-30s but people still guess I'm in my mid to late-20s.

― HRH Queen Kate (kate), Thursday, 18 December 2003 10:28 (twenty-two years ago)

That's the thing. I was more worried about it when I was 25. When I got to thirty, people thought I was fibbing. Admittedly no-one says oh you look xx, and also most people who think I look younger are older..

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 18 December 2003 10:32 (twenty-two years ago)

RickyT is kidding on, the little pixie.

Harhar yes I do, I'd say it's 70% horror but 30% oh I guess it's OK. I also suffer from misplaced catholic guilt and think I should wear a hairshirt to punish myself for not getting thinner ANYTIME. I have never really liked the way I look oh when wil

Shhhh, else this will become my angst-diary from age 14 onwards, marvellous. Oh Richey when will you return...

― Sarah (starry), Thursday, 18 December 2003 10:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Richey James?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 December 2003 11:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Richey Manic!

― Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 18 December 2003 11:08 (twenty-two years ago)

i've gone from thinking i was ugly to thinking i am just merely non-descript. this may explain why my hair has thrived.

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 18 December 2003 11:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Richard "D" James.

― Sarah (starry), Thursday, 18 December 2003 11:55 (twenty-two years ago)

previously Richie Cunningham

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 18 December 2003 11:57 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, not ugly, but 'non-descript' seems a pretty accurate word for me too

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 18 December 2003 14:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Just thinking about answering this question is getting me down, so take that as a yes.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 18 December 2003 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

mark p i think you are a noticeably attractive man, i would say the same of Ricardo and Barry too. i am focussing on the face though i suppose (haha, feel free to appropriate that quote whatever mischievous ways you see fit) but i have conventional tastes with regards to facial beauty.

er, we're still on for that pint and strip club right? grrrrr (and other deeply masculine gestures)

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 18 December 2003 15:27 (twenty-two years ago)

i have unattractive eyes, I am fairly below average in the looks department. It bothers me slightly, it would bother me a lot less if I knew I had a great bowl of wit to make up for it with. but alas..

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 18 December 2003 16:46 (twenty-two years ago)

yes. particuarly re: my drastically thinning hair. i'm gonna look like charlie brown when i am actually bald.

― mike a (mike a), Thursday, 18 December 2003 16:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I have small eyes and a big nose and big ears. I have a fat belly and ass. My hair is thinning more than I'm willing to admit most days. In spite of all this I've been told I'm handsome and even pretty! I just don't understand.

― Bryan (Bryan), Thursday, 18 December 2003 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Being nasty-arse gives me a sense of superiority over the beautiful ones. I know something they don't know....

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not ugly at all and that's the problem as i have trouble finding girls as good looking as me to go out with.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Plus, Ken's a great singer too.

― caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:20 (twenty-two years ago)

actually, i think i look fine. i have a gut & thinning hair, but other than that, ok.

― El Santo Claus (Kingfish), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I tend to think I'm fairly weird and horrible. Logically I'm a bit vain too.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I am too, Ned. I feel like Baron Harkonnen a lot of the time, except not gay. Now if I could just get some of those suspensors to move myself around...

― Bryan (Bryan), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I like the way I am. I am sort of conscious I'm no superstud or something but I am seldom really bothered about it. I try and dress well and look well most of the time, I hope. I try not to dwell on negativity. There is no constructive achievement in thinking you're ugly.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought I was ugly when I was a kid, and geeky, with bad clothes. I was actually quite cute, but geeky, with bad clothes.

Late teens, I thought I was nearly good looking, but I was very obsessed with being perfect and had daydreams about plastic surgery. I did stupid stupid things to my hair, and was very uptight about being seen from the wrong angle etc.

Now I'm confidently good looking. The shape of my face gets better every year, enough to make up for the beginnings of wrinkles etc. The only problem could be that my natural scruffiness is getting harder to pull off as I get older. Also, I definitely look young, and I do worry that this won't work so well when I am totally not young. I fear being some babyfaced 50 year old dork.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I want to revise
my earlier assessment.
I look good today.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, I don't think I'm particularly attractive, but then I wouldn't say ugly either. I guess I could say that I use my looks as an excuse to be socially inept, ie in like going to places and meeting girls. Really just I'm inept and deliberately obtuse.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I look at myself all the time and I still have no idea how I look; it's like seeing letters on a page and not being able to make a word out of them. Doesn't much bug me though. This kinda applies only to my face; my bod is rockin'.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

No, but still no one throws themself at me.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think of myself as ugly, just unattractive. It's pretty much stopped bothering me, now: I've accepted it as what I am. The 's/he only likes me cuz of how I look' thing does make sense to me, tho. Can't help but think that if someone's only going to like me after I've made a huge effort to look like something I'm not (ie pretty), they're not the kind of person I'd particularly want to like me.

― cis (cis), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I never feel like I know what I look like either, but over all I'm ok with what I do see. I have horribly crooked legs and teeth, but what can you do... All I need to do to feel attractive is dim the lights (or drink some alcohol).

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 18 December 2003 17:59 (twenty-two years ago)

agree with what everyone says upthread about confidence being the crucial factor. when I'm feeling good about me, somehow the physical features of my face/body rearrange themselves and I become actually more desirable.

this happens once every six months or so. 2004 resolution is to increase this occurrence.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 18 December 2003 18:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I would much rather be ugly than non-descript. Or better than both those interesting looking. An intersting face is much easier to remember than a non-descript face.

― A Nairn (moretap), Thursday, 18 December 2003 18:01 (twenty-two years ago)

(Anyone else have a mental image of Haikunym's nose travelling across his has until it slots into place between his eyes, at which point he thumbs-ups the mirror and purrs, "SOLID!"?)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 December 2003 18:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I look at myself all the time and I still have no idea how I look; it's like seeing letters on a page and not being able to make a word out of them.

Yeah it's sorta impossible to view yourself how someone who's seeing you for the first time (or even the hundreth) would. This happens to me with other people's faces too, if I stare at them long enough.
I always thought I looked unlike most everyone else (not worse or better, just different), but I apparently I am a dead-ringer for some quasi-celebrity who hangs out on the internet.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 18 December 2003 18:05 (twenty-two years ago)

(I was getting more of a blobbing image of like the cheeks and chin blobbing around and tightening into a face)

― A Nairn (moretap), Thursday, 18 December 2003 18:07 (twenty-two years ago)

i do.

― anthony easton (anthony), Thursday, 18 December 2003 18:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually I'm not sure if I'm ugly as opposed to "not trendy-boy attractive". Apparently chest hair is a no-no. (and small-of-the-back hair, but enh.)

Fuck you, adonis.

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Thursday, 18 December 2003 18:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Good Charlotte's new disc,
Fuck you, adonis, debuts
at #11!

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 18 December 2003 18:21 (twenty-two years ago)

That hurt. :(

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Thursday, 18 December 2003 18:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I'm pretty average looking. It sometimes depresses me that I'll never be a beautiful lady.

― Mandee, Thursday, 18 December 2003 18:33 (twenty-two years ago)

is being ugly/non-attractive painful because you actually don't care for the way you look (like an aesthetic dissaproval of oneself) or is because you can't get hot dates?

― ryan (ryan), Thursday, 18 December 2003 18:39 (twenty-two years ago)

must be the former,
as my wife is very hott.
(got no last line, here)

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 18 December 2003 18:41 (twenty-two years ago)

(Anyone else have a mental image of Haikunym's nose travelling across his has until it slots into place between his eyes, at which point he thumbs-ups the mirror and purrs, "SOLID!"?)

I DO.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 18 December 2003 19:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think of myself as ugly, I just wish I could lose some poundage. A lot of the things I didn't like about my face/body I grew to appreciate in time (like my big lips or the thin line through an eyebrow that might be from a childhood scar).

My girlfriend is appropriately vain, but calls me a liar whenever I say she is hot (and she is of course).

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 18 December 2003 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I think it's both, Ryan. And in addition to those, the thought "there's nothing I can do to change it, either."

― Maria (Maria), Thursday, 18 December 2003 19:53 (twenty-two years ago)

at the risk of sounding like a hippie (i think i have been hanging out with nickalicious too much lately) i have to say that i know very few people who i would classify as "ugly". i also have a strange hatred for men who are conventionally handsome. i think i am cute, and sometimes sexy. only ugly when extremely loaded/hungover although oddly many exes think i look best when waking up with a horrible hangover.

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:06 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.jegheddersvend.com/pallefritz/images/ringo.jpg

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I look pretty bad. This upsets me aesthetically, because I like clothes and there are lots of styles that need a different shaped body to set them off right.

But I quite like my body on a functional level. It's healthy. It gets me all the places I want to go (though often slower than I would like). It can swim, it can climb hills, it can ride a horse, etc.

― isadora (isadora), Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I wouldn't go as far as ugly, but my view of myself leans heavily that way. It does bother me, but the people who've been attracted to me don't at all fit with my self-image and expectations, which is good, and helps me tolerate myself rather better.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:41 (twenty-two years ago)

pshaw

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:55 (twenty-two years ago)

''is being ugly/non-attractive painful because you actually don't care for the way you look (like an aesthetic dissaproval of oneself) or is because you can't get hot dates?''

not even cold ones.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Thursday, 18 December 2003 20:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Necrophiliac.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 21:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't feel particularly attractive looking now, and I don't think I ever have. sometimes I do think I look ugly, but most often I think I'm kind of nondescript looking. I shaved my beard off yesterday, and that was actually a big improvement, but still, nondescript.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 18 December 2003 21:08 (twenty-two years ago)

robots and dead bodies might be the final solution.

x-post: why did you shave your beard? there's one less of 'us' now.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Thursday, 18 December 2003 21:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I'm fairly attractive but this is mostly just based on the company I keep and how attractive I think they are. I'm not fond of mirrors, so I'm partial. Either way, older ladies love me because I look like young Elvis. I am worried that eventually I will be old Elvis and no one will love me or make me fatty sandwiches or score me drugs.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Thursday, 18 December 2003 21:11 (twenty-two years ago)

mandee you iz a beautiful lady, so don't be depressed. issadora is also very pretty.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 18 December 2003 21:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Ugly is the new hot

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 18 December 2003 21:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I just got sick of it julio. I wanted to see my chin again.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 18 December 2003 21:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't associate how I look with the amount of hot dates. I've been in plenty one night stands etc and short relationships over the last few years, though very few in the 6 or 7 months, but I don't think I look badly. If anything I'm more confident nowadays about how I look, than when I was 17 or 18. At least I don't see any drastic changes on the horizon.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 18 December 2003 21:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha my chin hasn't seen daylight since 1994!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 December 2003 22:21 (twenty-two years ago)

In fact, my super-sexy wife forbids me to shave off my facial hair! A WINNER IS ME!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 December 2003 22:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder... but I sure wouldn't bag me a fat chick if I was the horniest guy alive. Any other guys agree?

― C-Man (C-Man), Thursday, 18 December 2003 22:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Ronan, I wasn't necessarily referring to how I look, instead, how attractive I am. I don't think one can judge their own level of attractiveness since it is relative, so I think a good indication would be how one feels about themself in relation to their friends or lovers .. etc.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Thursday, 18 December 2003 22:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I think all men are obsessed with beautiful women and are, fundamentally, totally superficial. I admitted this to myself a long time ago and I think it's 100% wrong but I can't help it. I think that girls are the same though - except for one girl I once knew - I don't know of any girl who goes out of her way to attract ugly men.

Anyway, you kind of know where you fit in don't you? You kind of know, when you walk in somewhere, who is and is not in your league?

― C-Man (C-Man), Thursday, 18 December 2003 22:32 (twenty-two years ago)

It was my wife who got me to grow the beard in the first place, Dan! I always hated it, but it saves the bother of shaving. I'm going to try and keep myself beard=free for a while.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 18 December 2003 22:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I hate beards but find the five o' clock shadow thing quite rowrr; I blame the Indiana Jones trilogy for this.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 18 December 2003 22:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I think my body is hideous. I think my face is classically beautiful but overruled by the horror that is my body.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder... but I sure wouldn't bag me a fat chick if I was the horniest guy alive.

Whereupon I and other overweight women rejoice at being ignored by this bozo.

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 18 December 2003 22:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, I was only joking - I think being superficial is horrible. I was just trying to get a cheap laugh. Relax.

― C-Man (C-Man), Thursday, 18 December 2003 22:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually I think with the right style and confidence anyone can be "fine". For some reason I put on my Yankees cap and the girls love it. So I wear it a lot. My terrible secret is I'm a Cubs fan, my excuse to self is post 9-11 solidarity/Steve Bartman shame. But really I'm just hoping to bag some Bronx girls. =/

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 18 December 2003 22:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Paper or plastic?

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Thursday, 18 December 2003 22:59 (twenty-two years ago)

i don't think i'm ugly but i don't think i've ever been hott either. and a couple of people i've been attracted to/gone out with have had problems accepting that someone finds them really attractive. which is why body fascism gives me the absolute and utter shits.

― the surface noise (electricsound), Thursday, 18 December 2003 23:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm all about body communism, you know? Share, that's all I'm saying.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Thursday, 18 December 2003 23:07 (twenty-two years ago)

For the longest time I had (and on rare occasion still do) do have self-image problems. What helped a lot when I was little, was noticing that this lumpy-looking guy seem to do OK

http://ligwww.epfl.ch/~thalmann/daniel/bogart.jpg

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Thursday, 18 December 2003 23:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Lauren Bacall is single these days from what I hear.

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 18 December 2003 23:27 (twenty-two years ago)

NOT ANY MORE

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 18 December 2003 23:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Dibs on Janet Leigh.

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 18 December 2003 23:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Herein lies the loophole. Want a beautiful girlfriend? Wait until they're octogenarians.

― Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 18 December 2003 23:36 (twenty-two years ago)

It's weird, living in NYC (where so many people are models, work or aspire to work in showbiz, or are impeccably groomed Sex and the City types) can really skew one's perception of what's "normal"-looking. Sure, a lot of people here (esp. in the outer boroughs) ARE regular-looking schlubs. But when you're constantly force-fed the rhetoric that "those girls you see on magazine covers don't look anything like normal women and they're so airbrushed that they don't even look like their photos IRL" and you walk around Manhattan on an average day and the norm is the supermodel type and they look just as gazelle-like as any picture of any supermodel in any fashion magazine that's taken seriously...

...it can make you distrust the rhetoric a little bit.

Anyway, yeah, I sometimes do get down on myself, but there's a k-cute guy who says he finds me attractive, and his opinion's the only one that matters to me right now.

― joday (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 19 December 2003 00:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I used to think it was really funny to tell girls: i think you're pretty....... ugly!

― bnw (bnw), Friday, 19 December 2003 00:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Also this weird looking guy

http://www.artouest.org/web/gainsnet/imagesite/photos/500.gif

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Friday, 19 December 2003 00:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Is that Richard Branson? 'Cos the thing I always think of when he's brought up is John Lydon in The Filth and the Fury talking about how he looked like Catweasle when he was arrested during the Thames boat-concert stunt. I had no idea who Catweasle was at the time, but I found it funny anyways.

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Friday, 19 December 2003 00:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Is that Richard Branson?

It's Serge Gainsbourg!

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Friday, 19 December 2003 00:27 (twenty-two years ago)

*cries*

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Friday, 19 December 2003 00:27 (twenty-two years ago)

aww

― joday (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 19 December 2003 00:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Oops. Well, if Branson shaved off his beard and let the stubble grow for a week, he'd probably look a lot like that.

I'm not helping, am I?

Serge's old in that pic; I'm not sure what his excuse is here:

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/pic200_web/drp200/p299/p29947mnuuc.jpg

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Friday, 19 December 2003 00:30 (twenty-two years ago)

hotchie motchie

― joday (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 19 December 2003 00:31 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.artouest.org/web/gainsnet/imagesite/photos/gainsbar.jpg

JESUS!

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Friday, 19 December 2003 00:37 (twenty-two years ago)

it does bother me, but the people who've been attracted to me don't at all fit with my self-image and expectations

Hah, me to...do you get hit on by 40-something alcoholics who reek of pouch tobacco too, Martin?

― petra jane (petra jane), Friday, 19 December 2003 01:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I have a few facial anomalies (my left eye is significantly scarred from childhood), so I've always been exceptionally self-conscious about it, and there have been times that I considered myself downright ugly as a result (especially when I was a kid, as kids are pretty frighteningly honest in their unsolicited opinions). But, y'know, life goes on. I got married, so at least one very special someone doesn't think I'm ugly, so the rest of the world can take a flying leap as far as I'm concerned.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 19 December 2003 01:59 (twenty-two years ago)

oh, i think im kinda cute... not that decent self-esteem has gotten me any dates lately.... or ever, come to think of it.. um, except for with taxi drivers. but actually the last one never called, so um, i dunno.

though im indifferent about my body. i look sorta like i just got out of the gulags. but its not like i dont eat. i eat nothing but fried food and pizza and hot dogs and greasy chinese food. except when i eat nothing but top-ramen when im broke. which has been often lately. hmm, also winter leaves my skin really dry... oh, and i have a giant scar down my chest from when i had that heart surgery.

― phil-two (phil-two), Friday, 19 December 2003 12:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Not often, Petra - that's closer to me. I meant stuff like, well, like Jody says, at the moment there is only one person whose opinion of my attractiveness matters, and she think I'm attractive and she is much younger than me and fantastically gorgeous, so this surprises me hugely. But I'm obviously not complaining.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 21 December 2003 01:03 (twenty-two years ago)

this lumpy-looking guy seem to do OK [bogart]

well, he had class.
there's more to "looks" than looks--or at least there should be.
but i'm frequently told i'm not shallow enough to live on this planet. i fear they are right.

― Orbit (Orbit), Sunday, 21 December 2003 07:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I was talking about this with a friend recently and we agreed that our problem is not that we both think we're good-looking, we're just not good-looking enough. Which sounds so stupid when spoken aloud but is an oddly comfortable brain refrain nonetheless.

― jewelly (jewelly), Sunday, 21 December 2003 07:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Jewelly!! where have you been! we miss you

― Broheems (diamond), Sunday, 21 December 2003 09:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think it, I know it.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Sunday, 21 December 2003 10:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Fuckin A

― Andrew Thames (Andrew Thames), Sunday, 21 December 2003 10:26 (twenty-two years ago)

How long until people start disagreeing with Melissa?

I disagree with Melissa.

― Schwingung (Damian), Sunday, 21 December 2003 13:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I've met Melissa, and I disagree completely. You're very attractive, Melissa!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 21 December 2003 14:59 (twenty-two years ago)

OK Alex, I used to know an Alex in NYC with a scarred eye. You're not him are you? Do you surf? Are you an art curator? It's a long shot, but just answer the question.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Sunday, 21 December 2003 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

If Mandee is merely average a heck of a lot of us have just been demoted to the remedial class. I hope I can learn how to wire a plug before they boot me out at 15.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Sunday, 21 December 2003 15:54 (twenty-two years ago)

No, I don't surf,....nor do I curate art. Sorry.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Sunday, 21 December 2003 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah well. Thanks for clearing that up.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 23 December 2003 08:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I've gotten the word "cute" most of my life (and I'm convinced it's been based on two things -- my shortness and my goofy humor) and I swear to God, it bothers the shit out of me. I've got a complex -- it's like I'm forever 5 or something. Who wants to bang the "cute" girl?? NO ONE. You want to bang the sexy bitch, not the "cute" thing. I have issues with this, I know.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 00:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Um, I always go for sweet/cute girls over sexy bitches, though I'm sure that's no consolation.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 01:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Hear hear! There's finding someone cute, and there's finding someone cute, and in my experience "you're cute" = "you are young and pretty in inoffensive, innocent way and i am a pervy old despo who reeks of beer, Drum and sometimes my own vomit &/or urine, whose emotional development stopped at age 14 thus i am subconsciously attracted to anyone who reminds me of a 14 year old girl".

― petra jane (petra jane), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 01:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Jesus, just take it as the compliment it is and say 'thank you', you mentalists!

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 01:38 (twenty-two years ago)

haha

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 02:09 (twenty-two years ago)

ethan once asked me what part of my body people had said they liked the most over the years and the best i could was - weakly - "my eyes".

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 02:09 (twenty-two years ago)

this says a lot, though i'm not sure what.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 02:10 (twenty-two years ago)

probably that i should be dating a blind girl with no hands.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 02:11 (twenty-two years ago)

or a brain in a jar.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 02:11 (twenty-two years ago)

you shld obv show yr BELLY BUTTON more often then, Jess!

― petra jane (petra jane), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 03:03 (twenty-two years ago)

that old stomach photo just makes me want to cry now.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 03:14 (twenty-two years ago)

it's like my portrait of dorian gray.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 03:16 (twenty-two years ago)

soon it will look like a starving ethiopian child and i will look like roger ebert.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 03:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I want to bang the cute girl. I think I have a regressive indie gene or something.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 03:41 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah the appeal of having sex with a "sexy" girl seems so foreign to me

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 03:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I can see where jeanne and petrajane are coming from. "cute" seems to have some sort of undertone of ordinariness to me, whereas "sexy" is more movie-starish. That's pretty much how I feel; not gorgeous, not ugly, just boring and not particularly noticeable. I think I'd rather be ugly.

― mouse, Wednesday, 24 December 2003 04:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Do people actually call each other "sexy"? I don't think I've ever heard it used in a non-joking way save a few R&B songs.

― bnw (bnw), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 04:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I've called people a 'sexy bitch'. It's in a jokey way (as denoted by the 'bitch' part', but I did/do think they are sexy)
Also, someone can be cute AND sexy, though usually not simultaneously.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 04:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Do people actually call each other "sexy"?

HAHAHHAAHAHAHAAHAHAA

HAHAHAHA

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 24 December 2003 04:52 (twenty-two years ago)

no cute isn't just ordinary-ness it's there's-something-vaguely-pre-pubescent-about-you-ness. it means i'm-interested-just-not-like-THAT or worse i'm-interested-like-THAT-because-i-am-emotionally-defective. i'm not joking abt the being propositioned by pee-stained 40something alcoholic defectives, we're up to 5 and counting.

is the odd "hey nice tits" too much for a girl to ask?

― petra jane (petra jane), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 22:56 (twenty-two years ago)

hey, nice tits.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 22:57 (twenty-two years ago)

(it's the christmas miracle.)

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 22:57 (twenty-two years ago)

i call people i am attracted to "cute", i don't mean it creepily, i use it pretty much as a euphemism for "hott", cos i mean imagine calling someone "hott" or "sexy" you'd feel like a right nork really. not many people would call me cute. men who find me attractive usually call me "intimidating". i find that hilarious. women who find me attractive usually call me "attractive".

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 23:11 (twenty-two years ago)

''attractive'' is a good word. as in safe to use: better than 'hey you've got nice tits' because you might get slapped.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 23:20 (twenty-two years ago)

key word: "might"

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 23:21 (twenty-two years ago)

not that i've walked up to anyone in this lifetime and told them they were attractive.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 23:21 (twenty-two years ago)

or had nice tits.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 23:21 (twenty-two years ago)

sure: its all abt taking chances.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 23:23 (twenty-two years ago)

haha yeah, you know us.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 23:24 (twenty-two years ago)

"hey, you've got attractive tits"

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 23:26 (twenty-two years ago)

perfection has been achieved.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 23:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Perfect tits?

Oh shit, anything with a question mark seems annoying to me lately...

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Wednesday, 24 December 2003 23:30 (twenty-two years ago)

hella uglee.

― etc, Wednesday, 24 December 2003 23:46 (twenty-two years ago)

"Attractive" sounds creepy still (i.e. as if you might be slightly horny, or have some other interest in genitals). Please say, "I don't find you altogether aesthetically displeasing". It never fails!

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Thursday, 25 December 2003 00:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Di OTM.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 25 December 2003 00:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm quite vain and I like my face a lot, however I am very flabby so most of the time I feel like this:

http://www.news-press.com/multimedia/galleries/photogs/stephen/images/manatees.jpg

― Adrian (Adrian Langston), Thursday, 25 December 2003 01:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Jess, i kiss you.

― petra jane (petra jane), Thursday, 25 December 2003 02:22 (twenty-two years ago)

no tongues.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 25 December 2003 05:19 (twenty-two years ago)

okay. maybe a little.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 25 December 2003 05:19 (twenty-two years ago)

see, it does work.

― petra jane (petra jane), Thursday, 25 December 2003 06:18 (twenty-two years ago)

meanwhile i am turning into a stick man because ever since i moved like five months ago i've just been increasingly forgetting to eat unless someone reminds me and i think my muscles are deteriorating because i'm having weird spasms, or it might just be a posture thing. but either way all my clothes are even loser than usual, and its starting to get pretty dramatic, not that i had that much weight to begin with.

so i think i need to gain some back or i will begin to look very horrifying indeed.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Thursday, 25 December 2003 06:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Make sure that you have foods around that you really really like. It makes it easier to remember to eat them or muster up the appetite. Easy food. Learn to nag yourself about eating. Keep a lot of munchy things around too. (Just my own experience with trying to keep my weight up to a normal level) It's kind of worked for me, I've managed to stay at 125ish after being at 115 last Christmas (which is less than I'd ever weighed since hitting puberty).

People always complain about being overweight, but when you're losing a lot of weight in an unhealthy way, it's disturbing too. You don't feel like you're living in your own body anymore. At times when my appetite has been really terrible, I've had people comment that I looked emaciated. I have no idea how to respond to that sort of comment.

In general, it seems like weight issues just suck.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Thursday, 25 December 2003 07:07 (twenty-two years ago)

i realized recently that as soon as my life isn't centered around "work" or regular responsibilities of some kind (ie. as soon as i get the chance to introspect), everything falls to pieces. on a lazy day, i can go from thinking i'm not particulary attractive to really despising how i look - being unable to imagine *anyone* wanting to be with the physical me.

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Thursday, 25 December 2003 07:31 (twenty-two years ago)

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