The wit and wisdom of our Johnny : I'm a celebrity watch

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OK, starting this now as: He's always good value and isn't on TV that much (this prog in total will probably be more than double his TV appearances up to now).

Last time out he was praising Kate Bush to the skies (she happened to be there) at the Q awards.

Latest news: "Australia is everything that is second-hand in Britain", endearing himself to the locals.. Also, his luxury item is a tub of vaseline.

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 26 January 2004 11:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Gore Vidal on visiting Australia: 'I've seen the past, and it works.'

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 26 January 2004 11:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Also, his luxury item is a tub of vaseline.
Well Jordan is going to be there so....

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 26 January 2004 11:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I hope he goes mad and holds them all hostage.

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Monday, 26 January 2004 12:58 (twenty-two years ago)

*crosses fingers*

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 26 January 2004 13:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Why on earth has Jordan chosen a hote water bottle as her luxury item?

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 26 January 2004 15:33 (twenty-two years ago)

They wouldn't let her take a vibrator.

― omg, Monday, 26 January 2004 15:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Surely her luxury item should be a bra, to hold those puppies up, when she gets tired!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 26 January 2004 15:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Rotten: what I'm frightened of is ticks on the testicles

― run it off (run it off), Monday, 26 January 2004 21:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, I just watched it. And he's rubbed the Vas on the legs of beds to stop insects climbing up them, which I think is very smart. In fact Rotten's never been mad; always smart. Didn't become a heroin addict, for example, unlike Sid.

Some people say he's lettig himself down by going on this show, but the programme is only an entertainment product, as are songs. I'm looking forward to watching him, and the whole programme.

Except or one thing, and I'm going to make a prat of myself now. Is it just me, or is the cruelty to animals offensive? For example, tonight they poured an eel into a load of insects, which was not nice for the eel, being out of water, and must have crushed the limbs of some of the stick-insects under it, not to mention the more laid back insects like the giant cockroaches nd the stag beetles. I prefer the tasks to be things like balancing along ropes in the trees and that sort of lark.

― R the bunged up with jollop of V (Jake Proudlock), Monday, 26 January 2004 23:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Peter Andre "I'm not a ninja".

Thanks for that Pete.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 26 January 2004 23:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Is this like the 20th thread on this already?

― dean! (deangulberry), Monday, 26 January 2004 23:07 (twenty-two years ago)

jeez what's with all the celebs ragging on australia? he's just pissed that we did punk better than the UK

― the surface noise (electricsound), Monday, 26 January 2004 23:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Rotten (paraphrasing); I'm going to abandon you all, just like my favourite film 'The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner'!

Laughs fade away. *Quizzical Silence*

Jordan Kerry and Peter think uhh?

― pete s, Monday, 26 January 2004 23:10 (twenty-two years ago)

So do I. What dd he mean?

― R the bunged up with jollop of V (Jake Proudlock), Monday, 26 January 2004 23:14 (twenty-two years ago)

the film's about a working-class kid at a reform school who deliberately loses a cross-country race to spite the upper-class governer.
nb i was amused he should make the reference, not that the younguns shouldnt get it. then again even jenni bond and mike read probably had to think about it for a moment. i just think it shows how....weirdly old-fashioned he is (the film is 1962, british b/w stars tom cortenay, michael redgrave)

― pete s, Monday, 26 January 2004 23:37 (twenty-two years ago)

is it old fashioned or historically astute? I mean, this film and those that were made around the same time, broke the mould of British culture, putting an end to that stuffy middle class BBCism, and ushering in tougher, more realistic narratives. I think Johnny is quite aware of his own heritage.

― run it off (run it off), Monday, 26 January 2004 23:43 (twenty-two years ago)

yeh its not a criticism run, i just do think he's a 'traditionalist'.
hes very patriotic, pro-monarchy for example. the fact he knows about this film might pleasantly surprise a lot of telegraph readers who've got him pegged as a moronic yob. i know what hes in to.
he likes english art of which that is an example.

― pete s, Monday, 26 January 2004 23:48 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, I know, he's a bag of contradictions. But he's entertaining the hell out of me. And even though I'm aware that he doesn't share my views on everything, I just project them onto him anyway. Its more fun that way.

― run it off (run it off), Monday, 26 January 2004 23:53 (twenty-two years ago)

he was very good, most entertaining. I also have a sneaky feeling that Jordan may come out of this with her reputation enhanced somewhat.

― chris (chris), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 09:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe so, but I think she'll get the mass female anti-vote first week up...

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 10:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Hoho I'm getting lots of mileage out of this as my manager is a big pistols fan / v rockist interms of "authenticity" and what have you = he is aghast. Many chuckles for me.

― Matt (Matt), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 10:01 (twenty-two years ago)

another Rotten gem.

Everyone shitting themselves because Razor's seen a snake. Johnny turns up and says, "I'll have a look..." Everyone looks at him in amazement. He adds, "with a big stick, of course"

― run it off (run it off), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 10:10 (twenty-two years ago)

'Loneliness' was re-released in the UK in October 2002!! So ver kids bloody ought to know. I dunno how truly rebellious it is, but I like it anyway.

Jordan is doing well. She's game at least. Her haters have got the wrong end of the stick: it's Kerry McFadden and Jenny Fucking Bond who piss me off.

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 10:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Kerry is very little and is a frightened. Her best friend so far is John.

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 10:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Peter 'I has a secret affair with Mel B that I never told the media about... ooops' Andre is the biggest twat in the show.

― run it off (run it off), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 10:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Re-released = shown at the Barbican for two weeks. It might have been a new print but it ain't going to drag ver kids in.

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 10:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I fail to see the appeal of such a show.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 10:22 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, but all the girlies will vote for his six pack of beer umm where am i?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 10:23 (twenty-two years ago)

what's the betting Andre sings a duet with DJ Mike Smashy?

― run it off (run it off), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 10:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Re-released = shown at the Barbican for two weeks. It might have been a new print but it ain't going to drag ver kids in.

It got reviewed in all the best places though!

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 10:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Wonder if Mike Read (virulently anti-punk) and Lydon will clash at some point.

― pete s, Tuesday, 27 January 2004 11:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I had to give jordan all respect last night, as i wouldnt have been able to do what she did. Eurgh it was disgusting & even the footballer was having trouble. I think whoever said it upthread was right in that jordan will do well out of this.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 11:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Feminist icon!

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 11:43 (twenty-two years ago)

mike read is not virulently anti-punk. he used to do the evening session show on radio 1 and even when he moved on to the breakfast show made a point of playing noo wave/post-punk records. this was all before the "relax" business, admittedly, but that was all a set-up between read and morley anyway.

― Phoebe Dinsmore, Tuesday, 27 January 2004 11:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I wouldn't go that far! ;-)

x-post

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 11:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Mike Read was the first DJ to do a punk top 20 on the air.

You're thinking of Tony Blackburn... xpost with everybody

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 11:45 (twenty-two years ago)

No, i meant Read, but i seem to have got him wrong according to what ppl are sying. I've definitely heard/seen him criticizing punk on the telly, maybe its in retrospect.

― pete s, Tuesday, 27 January 2004 11:53 (twenty-two years ago)

"Rotten: what I'm frightened of is ticks on the testicles"

I sent him a copy of my book last year! Coincidence? Punk was all my idea, too.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0953456617/ref=sr_aps_books_1_1/026-8037920-2359626

― Rogan Whitenails, Tuesday, 27 January 2004 18:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Rogan, have you ever posted without advertising something that your selling?

― run it off (run it off), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 19:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I also have a sneaky feeling that Jordan may come out of this with her reputation enhanced somewhat.

...Maybe so, but I think she'll get the mass female anti-vote first week up...

Why do all (other) women hate Jordan so much? I kind of quite like her. I hope she does OK out of this - she seems to have a chronically low self-esteem and could do with a break from the relentless, fairly unjustified, harrassment she gets off the press. I think Kerry McFadden is totally out of her depth and will crack and ask to get home to her kids within about two days if she isn't voted off.

Mike Read was responsible for getting "Relax" banned wasn't he? He's not the people's champion he likes to think he is.

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 19:14 (twenty-two years ago)

"Rogan, have you ever posted without advertising something that your selling?"

Yeah, you're right. I need an agent.

― Rogan Whitenails, Tuesday, 27 January 2004 19:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Sounds like John's doing your work for you then .. .

― dean! (deangulberry), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 21:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I also think Jordan is ok and I am fairly confident she will emerge well from this.

Anyone see the documentary about her last year sometime? She seemed very genuine and it was very real and gave a fairly clear picture of her life and work.

Honestly she seems ok!

Kerry McFadden on the other hand is just annoying, and I hate Brian McFadden so much I hope she does badly anyway. Never liked him since he rang MTV Select and went on a self righteous rant on air cos they made a mild joke about Kerry.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 21:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Is Johnny Rotten pro-Monarchy? Are you SURE? When they did that Pistols reunion in 1996 he went on about how much he didn't care for them and, well, if anyone was the Queen's enemy it was him.

I've always pegged Lydon as a very smart and sensitive fella, I think that the show's starting to demonstrate that, plus (maybe Jordan aside) he's the only real, bonafied celeb on there. I think he'll come out of this well, and it's a brave decision for him to be on it. Good on him.

The rest - I'd be trying to cop off with George Best's wife. She looks really good, very naturally elegant. I think Jordan has a pretty face (would love to pop that pimple on the side of her nose tho) but her humungous unattractive implants ruin her. Still, she's come across well and I couldn't have done her challenge either. I hope she doesn't waste this opportunity at new found respect by coming out and doing loads of tits and ass shots for mags.

The animal stuff bothers me. The eel was bang out of order. But Lydon's presence makes this well worth watching. Hope he wins.

I'd boot Kerry out. She sweats too much.

― C-Man (C-Man), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 22:18 (twenty-two years ago)

What about pervy Razor Ruddock eh? Busy hands or what?

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 22:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I hope they get Ian Brown on the next one. And Joanne Guest.

― C-Man (C-Man), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 22:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Jordan is doing ok.

Peter Andre is all over her and she's spinning him in circles. "Let's just shag", the ponsified freak said. To which she said "but you told me you had an acorn. There's no point in going there".

― run it off (run it off), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 22:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Is it not on tonight or something? or only this minute, 22.30?

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 22:25 (twenty-two years ago)

the ITV part has just finished. Now its over on ITV2

― run it off (run it off), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 22:28 (twenty-two years ago)

weird for some reason I only got ITV news!

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 22:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here Now!
ITV 2: Tuesday, January 27 2004 (22:00 - 23:00)
Mark Durden Smith and Tara Palmer-Tomkinson present extra footage and interviews from the Australian bush as the celebrities struggle with the rigours of life in the wilderness - and with each other.

― run it off (run it off), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 22:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I am in Ireland, and hence have UTV so I guess that explains it. It's not generally different though.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 22:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Johnny's reaction to them all going in the huff over "only" getting port and cigars was quite good. Has Alex Best spoken yet, or is she the Nell McAndrew of this series - quite pretty to look at, yet staggeringly dull?

My predictions: The whole thing will be all about Jordan, Kerry's impending breakdown /hissy fit (precipitated by the great British public voting her to do the next task), John Lydon's transformation into a proper national treasure, Jennie Bond's attempt to be the next Linda Barker, a few crap jokes from Razor in an attempt to get a permanent gig on Question of Sport, and the rest of them just being there. No-one will vote for any of the others to do anything, because they just won't care.

As for Jordan, I really want her to come out of this well, but I think it will get to her and she'll crack up spectacularly. I think people are too set in their mind about her for this to make any difference to her whatsoever. Anyone who saw her on the documentary Ronan refers to upthread, the Frank Skinner show and the Faking It type thing where they attempted to pass her off as a stable girl must have seen a desperately unhappy and vulnerable girl. I feel really very sorry for her.

Everyone on the show seems to have really taken to her though, except that twat Andre who seems to just want to get in her pants.

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 22:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Is that true about Read and Morley conniving together to get relax banned? If so why? I can see what was in it for Morley, instant notoriety, a huge publicity coup at just the right time as relax looked to be (ahem) peaking. But what was in it for Read, unless he was given a big wodge of wonga.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 22:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah I felt really quite sorry for her after the programme Ailsa, people are so fucking nasty to her, so she's dated alot of people, so what! She seems an ok person. I mean, Kerry Katona is happily married and seemed intensely annoying to me after 5 minutes of watching.

I didn't see it tonight, sadly.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 22:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Kerry's got obvious self-esteem problems, but she's not a nasty person or anything. Andre-the-acorn is nasty and boring. Alex is so boring you wished she be a bit nastier just to spice up her act. But Johnny is OTM almost every time he opens his mouth. Coating Ant & Dec in treacle was classic!

― run it off (run it off), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 23:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Can you imagine shagging Jordan? How unpleasant would that be? Seriously, she has the ugliest chest ever. If she took those footballs out she'd be adorable though.

― C-Man (C-Man), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 23:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Kerry irks me slightly cos she's kind of conservative. Yeah doesn't make her satan or anything I agree.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 23:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't understand why it seems, by and large, to be women who have the Jordan hatred.

Christ, who hasn't made mistakes in their life? She's making hers in public, yes, but she has the confidence to put herself in the public eye, yet doesn't have the self-esteem to realise that she doesn't need to anymore. She's one messed-up kid, and really could do with someone to put her on the right track and help her see that she's not the fuck-up she thinks she is.

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 23:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Jordan is like a candle in the wind...

― run it off (run it off), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 23:16 (twenty-two years ago)

A month or so ago, Read wrote a piece in the Daily Mirror abt the banning of 'Relax', wherein he claimed that Paul Morley was a sharp operator who cannily milked the controversy to sell more recs (duh). Of course, no mention was made of any 'collusion'.

He seems like a bit of a prick on the prog - self-important, humourlessly 'jolly', and v. v. uncool

― Andrew L (Andrew L), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 23:27 (twenty-two years ago)

If Mike Read caught his testicles in a bear trap it sure would be funny.

― C-Man (C-Man), Tuesday, 27 January 2004 23:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, Andrew - he was a Radio 1 DJ.

Most of them are still like that as well.

XXX_POST

― Venga, Tuesday, 27 January 2004 23:31 (twenty-two years ago)

well he was one of the chief blueprints for dj dave nice after all

― pete s, Tuesday, 27 January 2004 23:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Johnny, Kerry, Jordan, Razor. There are only four people in the jungle - the rest are paste.

― Venga, Wednesday, 28 January 2004 00:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Razor is the man, no two ways about it.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 01:17 (twenty-two years ago)

razor is a legend he roXXor u r all gay xxx britney frm essex

― omg, Wednesday, 28 January 2004 01:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I like George Best's wife too cos she's schweeeeeet.

― C-Man (C-Man), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 01:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Do you reckon Julian Dicks is jealous?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 01:24 (twenty-two years ago)

peter is soooo fit omigod be my hubby luv u xxxxxxxx katy

― omg, Wednesday, 28 January 2004 01:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Oddly enough, Johnny's general demeanour is making him 'topdog'...

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 08:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I certainly don't hate Jordan. Sometimes she pisses me off, as do alot of ppl, but generally I just feel pretty sorry for her. I saw one of the documentaries about her (the one where she got her house broken into) & I just felt really sorry for her. She does kind of lend herself to the media scrutiny she gets though. I really hope she does well.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 09:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Feminist icon!

-- Enrique

Enrique OTM. Peter Andre is k-twattish. I'm a bit disappointed by Rotten -- all he does is make sarky comments about how great everything is. It's not very anarchic really. Jordan is much more punk (real punxxorz taste my pun).

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 10:02 (twenty-two years ago)

TS: I think Jordan has a pretty face (would love to pop that pimple on the side of her nose tho) but her humungous unattractive implants ruin her.

Calum

Woman With Amazing Rack Told She Has Beautiful Eyes

The Onion

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 10:09 (twenty-two years ago)

"Aint no sunshine when she's gone... DONGG!!!!!"

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 28 January 2004 15:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Lydon seems like a very nice man indeed.

― Venga, Wednesday, 28 January 2004 20:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Re. the Read/Morley "Relax" business: what was in it for Mike Read was indeed a "big wodge of wonga." (I am of course legally obliged at this stage to append the obligatory adverb "allegedly"). He then went on to do the voiceover for the TV ads for Welcome To The Pleasuredome.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 29 January 2004 09:52 (twenty-two years ago)

So Jordan is now hinting at revelations and Johnny is now at daggers drawn point.

What say ye?

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 2 February 2004 09:54 (twenty-two years ago)

What kind of 'revelations' is Jordan gonna bring? About Hutton?

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 2 February 2004 09:56 (twenty-two years ago)

"Gregg Dyke double crossed me and so I am gonner get my revenge..."

― Jordan (the celebrity one not the bloke who is oft on here) (mark grout), Monday, 2 February 2004 10:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Had to laff: When Jord and Kez did their challenge and pecked briefly as congrats, I thought "That'll be the daily sport front cover"

And so it is. "Secret Lezza Snog"... umm how secret?

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 2 February 2004 10:05 (twenty-two years ago)

It could only have been more perfect if one of them flashed their knickers at the same time.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Monday, 2 February 2004 11:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Wasn't Jordan doing that anyway?

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 2 February 2004 11:57 (twenty-two years ago)

But surely the main thing is that we got to see Peter Andre's stiffy!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 2 February 2004 12:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Really?!

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 2 February 2004 12:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh yeah! Through his trousers obv, I mean dude I'm not a sadist!
It's isania mate!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 2 February 2004 12:39 (twenty-two years ago)

crazy scenes, man. i haven't seen ti since thursday... attempting self-administered life laundry-style shock treatment involving

no cigs
no shit tv
no ilx

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 2 February 2004 12:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Dude, like wtf?!!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 2 February 2004 12:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I will hold my tongue cos I'll just sound like Marcello, basically.

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 2 February 2004 12:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh right. :-(

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 2 February 2004 12:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah, not in that way.

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 2 February 2004 12:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Phew!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 2 February 2004 12:52 (twenty-two years ago)

'He then went on to do the voiceover for the TV ads for Welcome To The Pleasuredome.'

Wow, reallly. Why isnt this more widely known? It certainly 'vindicates' Read in one way (and implicates him in other funny business as you say).

― pete s, Monday, 2 February 2004 13:02 (twenty-two years ago)

"... fun for everyone ... (even me!) ... " If I remember closely enough...

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 2 February 2004 13:41 (twenty-two years ago)

and now he's out.

Next up... Jennie Bond?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 13:45 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.drudgereport.com/flash3.htm

CLASSIC

― dean! (deangulberry), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 01:27 (twenty-two years ago)

For those who don't like clicking away from ILE ...

THE 'C'-WORD: ONE OF TELEVISION'S LAST TABOOS
Tue Feb 03 2004 20:16:49 ET

John Lydon broke one of the last taboos of television by using the "c"-word live on air during I'm A Celebrity .. Get Me Out Here

His outburst on the ITV show last night is bound to infuriate media watchdogs and attract the attention of the television regulator Ofcom, the guardian of broadcasting standards.

Research by the Broadcasting Standards Commission has shown that a huge majority of people still regard the c-word as the most severe and offensive swear word.

Controversy and outrage have followed quickly every time it has been broadcast since it was first aired on British television by Channel 4 eight years ago, during the Irvine Welsh drama The Granton Star Times.

The channel dared to air the profanity again in 1999 when two characters in Sex in the City uttered the word, while in 2002 the model and actress Caprice let the c-word slip during an interview on the ITV show This Morning.

And last year, the BBC caused controversy by airing the obscenity in the prime-time drama Witchcraze.

Lydon himself is no stranger to causing a furore by swearing on television.

In 1976, the former Sex Pistols singer - then known as Johnny Rotten - let rip with a tirade of expletives during a now notorious interview with television presenter Bill Grundy.

Grundy, who had been struggling to contain the punks, said: "Go on. You've got another five seconds. Say something outrageous." The Sex Pistols duly obliged.

The first television swear word was broadcast on the BBC in 1965. Kenneth Tynan's exact words were: "I doubt if there are any rational people to whom the word 'f***' would be particularly diabolical, revolting or totally forbidden."

The BBC tightened up its rules about swearing after the comedian Ali G used a series of four-letter words on the Sara Cox Radio One breakfast show two years ago.

― dean! (deangulberry), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 01:29 (twenty-two years ago)

'Witchcraze'? Huh?

It was the funniest bit of television ive seen probably.
10 million viewers and Jonny calls them 'Fuckin cunts' for sparing him from eviction. Ant and Dec shat themselves.

― pete s, Wednesday, 4 February 2004 01:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm sure I've heard the word 'cunt' used a lot more on telly than that. Does all that late night bollocks on Channel 4 count, or just prime time?

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 05:13 (twenty-two years ago)

all the daily mail readers asleep then...

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 09:35 (twenty-two years ago)

So Razor has been voted out after being exceptionally boring and grumpy and not the affable chap he always seems on A Question of Sport. He thinks Lord Brocket will win.

― ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 22:30 (twenty-two years ago)

And now Johnny has legged it out of there.

While being the actual favourite.

"The loneliness of the long distance runner" reference...

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 5 February 2004 08:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I miss Johnny already, and am tempted to start a campaign asking him to return.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 5 February 2004 09:04 (twenty-two years ago)

what is this musical which mike read claimed to have written for the participants but which he complained was edited out of the broadcast?

mike read's musical about the jungle. with john lydon.

what on earth (if anything) have we missed?

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 5 February 2004 09:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Johnny was 'going to be Fagin', as far as I know he didn't actually take part but was the audience.

My guess is that the prog makers would have got slaughtered for coyright fees if they'd broadcast it.

In other news, Kerry was talking about how she was determined to see it through after walking away from other things. "but anyway, the kittens have split now, so thats alright" (or there abouts).

Hmm. Did that not happen after she went in?

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 5 February 2004 09:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Quick update:

John is definitely out (giving hugs and 'keep it up' strength chat to Kerry before going),

No eviction tonight,

and more importantly,

Timmy Mallett is not going in instead.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 5 February 2004 11:37 (twenty-two years ago)

timmy...mallett.

next year's line-up should be: dizzee rascal, derek bailey, julie burchill, ian huntley, andrew gilligan, janice kelly, duncan norvelle, dido, george monbiot, conrad black.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 5 February 2004 11:43 (twenty-two years ago)

You forgot the ravenous tiger, Marcello.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 5 February 2004 11:48 (twenty-two years ago)

what you mean robert kilroy silk?

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 5 February 2004 11:50 (twenty-two years ago)

No, I mean an actual ravenous tiger.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 5 February 2004 11:56 (twenty-two years ago)

if lydon's out for good they should get in mark e smith. he'd probably end up winning it.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 5 February 2004 11:58 (twenty-two years ago)

He's gorn LENTIL MENTAL!!

― Sarah (starry), Thursday, 5 February 2004 11:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh POO has he really been thrown out? Argh, I demanded that my neighbour watch it cause he's a big Pistols/PIL fan. Now it seems he's TOO LATE and will only be able to ogly Jordan's bazooms.

― nathalie (nathalie), Thursday, 5 February 2004 12:13 (twenty-two years ago)

in all the broadsheet profiles of lydon this week, PiL are mentioned only in passing (in the "he went on to do weird stuff" sense) or not at all. even in his autobiography there are only two pages on PiL. does that mean that the showbiz aspects of what lydon engendered are more important to him than the music he's left behind?

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 5 February 2004 12:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Is that true? (Marcello nods :-) ) My GAWD. I did notice in an article they connected him to the Slits as he's married to the mother of Ari Up. Still, NO PIL? Bummah.

― nathalie (nathalie), Thursday, 5 February 2004 12:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I was kind of wondering when he was going to go stir-crazy from the sensory deprivation and set a bathtub-full of spiders loose in Kerry's knickers. I mean, it must be like being stuck in the jungle with the people off The Office, only REAL.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 5 February 2004 12:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I think it's a shame that he has gone, as he was very entertaining to watch. I was quite shocked that Razor went.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 5 February 2004 12:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm stuck in an office with people from The Office - for real.

― chris (chris), Thursday, 5 February 2004 12:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm now imagining "I'm an indie celebrity" with Johnny, Mark E Smith, David Gedge, Bez, both Gallagher brothers, both Reid brothers, Bobby Gillespie, the holy trinity of Britpop... You wouldn't even need a jungle, you could have a corner shop just down the street, but random pairs have been handcuffed together.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 5 February 2004 12:39 (twenty-two years ago)

One of the trials could involve Liam & Noel being locked in a small cage together. Nothing else, just that. Now that I'd watch!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 5 February 2004 12:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm an Indie Celebrity... would be great, although with limited ITV appeal, innit. I like Marcello's list from above. Haha Julie Burchill in the jungle: the undead Jennie Bond.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 5 February 2004 12:41 (twenty-two years ago)

from todays evening standard:'As he left..he said cryptically: 'I have changed the world twice and im goung to do it for a third time. I'm a survivor''

the man has swallowed his own hype. marcello otm, he seems further away from the exciting creative force he was in PiL than ever
(even tho he came across very well in his stay, a genuine person but hung up on self-mythologising like most ppl in showbiz)

― pete s, Thursday, 5 February 2004 18:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm very much warming to Lord Brocket as the comedy force of the camp. Razor and Alex were the two most dull people there - I keep forgetting she's even in it. She is exceptionally dull. I can't believe anyone is remembering to vote for her.

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 5 February 2004 18:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Possible angle on why people voting for Alex http://www.ananova.com/images/web/83256.jpg

― Mooro (Mooro), Thursday, 5 February 2004 20:43 (twenty-two years ago)

After watching last night's interview with Lydon, I think they should get his dad in for the next one. He seemed like a lovely chap.

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 6 February 2004 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

So here is the last day, and it's Kerry (winner designate surely), along with Peter Andre (i.e. not him from Outkast) and Jenny Bond.

TV Program actually worth the licence fee shocker.. (ok its not the bbc I know...)

Did anyone here actually phone a vote in?

(me neither)

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 9 February 2004 16:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Nope, but I'd like Kerry to win.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 9 February 2004 16:25 (twenty-two years ago)

TV Program actually worth the licence fee shocker..

have you gone mad???

(I saw some of this whilst at the chinese takeaway. It ws like watching wood warp)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 9 February 2004 16:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, we've all gone mad. wooo wooo. nimble nimble. lum lum.

ahem.

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 9 February 2004 16:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Kerry is an irritating and dull little girl who talks a lot yet manages to say absolutely nothing. I imagine this means she will win (see also Kate Lawler). I am still most gutted that Lord Brocket didn't, though the sight of him careering down a river of mud whilst dressed in a tutu will live long in the memory.

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 9 February 2004 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Mark's gone lentil mental too!!!!

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Monday, 9 February 2004 18:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh well. I fear a Linda Barker-esque TV takeover to be not a million miles away. But even less deserved - at least Barker had some form of talent prior to the show. I mean how shite do you have to be to not be in Atomic Kitten any more?

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 9 February 2004 22:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Also, for someone so concerned about her kids all the time she was in there, her husband has turned up to surprise her, and she hasn't asked after them or even enquired as to where they are. Bah.

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 9 February 2004 22:24 (twenty-two years ago)

And so it ends. I had a £20 bet on Andre to win. Even though he was there at the end, I knew there'd be no cigars handed round.

Johnny walking.. presumably the run-in with Bryan meant that johnny wasn't there at the end. He'd have congratulated kerry, but been less fussed if peter or jenny had won i guess.

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 10:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Eurgh Pig-face won, didn't she? I couldn't deal with it after Johnny left, not even for Jordan's occasional surprising sweetness. That'll be the last time I venture onto ITV for a while. Apart from films. And they always cut those in half with the news, bah.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 10:13 (twenty-two years ago)

i thought that about kerry not mentioning her kids!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 10:14 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm still gutted that Brockett didn't get it. Quite frankly after I heard he was gone my attention returned to playing PANG - level 6 however will now be associated with gurning old McFadden clapping her hands and eating wurms.

That sounds so much better than it actually was, sadly.

― Sarah (starry), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 10:16 (twenty-two years ago)

They should have bought her her babby so she could dangle it over the drawbridge in a CONTROVERSIAL M.Jackson tribute! Think of the press coverage!! Perhaps she'd get a new single out!! Or open another chip shop!! The world is her saveloy.

― Sarah (starry), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 10:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh you're all so cynical.

(Oh you're all called Sarah...)

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 10:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I was hoping when the fireworks went off it would send Byran and Kerry careening over the bridge saving me from hearing another shite pop song from those two. s

― blah blah blah, Tuesday, 10 February 2004 10:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Kerry won? Are you fucking me? She was appalling. I todally ca-zalled all this 'Jordan: Feminist Icon? bollox though, did I not?

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 10:27 (twenty-two years ago)

you were the *only one* enrique to come up with that hack-eyed theory. yes, the *only one*.

― blah blah blah, Tuesday, 10 February 2004 10:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Just as I thought Jordan was human again, she turned up with so much mascara on she couldn't open her eyes to flutter them at the sweaty man mountain that is Peter Andre. Mysterious Girl, YEAH IN A WAY DEAR.

― Sarah (starry), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 10:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Like I said, I am the masta of calling shit.

xpost

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 10:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Spinal Tap moment:

Kerry / Peter 'harmonising' on Mysterious girl...

"OK, you sing that and I'll do the harmonies...

MYSTERIOUS GIR.. umm no nevermind.."

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 10:45 (twenty-two years ago)

It's being re-released. The goggles will do nothing.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 10:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Umm, to coin a phrase, What?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 10:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Mysterious Girl is being re-released. According to the BBC:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/tv_and_radio/3472451.stm

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 10:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, I meant the goggles bit...

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 10:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Also, I read that brocket read and razor are doing a single together. Calling themselves the jungle boys.

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 10:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Goggles

Yeah, I heard it was going to be a cover of Jungle Rock.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 10:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Suddenly "Insania" seems a great idea...

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 10:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I have never managed to watch I'm A Celebrity. I don't know why and now I feel like I've missed out and it's not the kind of thing you can watch on repeats. Hmmm. I think I am a reality show purist. If it's not Big Brother then I can't get into it. I don't think I like watching people abroad.

Vanessa Feltz put up a terrific defence of reality TV against all the 'our nation's brain is rotting' dunderheads on 5 Live this morning.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 11:23 (twenty-two years ago)

What were the main points of it?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 11:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Obviously, right, John shoulda won. But I reckon that Alex Best was sexy as shag so I'd vote for her if I hadn't torn my phone line out to strangle the gas man last week. Right, who else? Razor, right, he thinks he's hard but I'd give him ten seconds with me and my pit bull Savage Seymour and he'd be turned into a pile of lebanese rocket yolks. Know what I mean?

That Lord is a ponce who needs hit on the head with a lamp post.

― Nutty Nigel (Nutty Nigel), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 11:51 (twenty-two years ago)

hello nutty nigel. Got any new pseudonyms?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 11:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I wuv Kerry, UR ALL GAY

She made me laugh. Me. Laugh at the telly. Anyone who knows me understands how unusual this is.

― Madchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 12:01 (twenty-two years ago)

.. and the sex pistols album is at number sixty nine this week.

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 13:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I hate Brian McFadden so much I didn't want her to win. I will falsely congratulate him should I see him around. I never knew he lived so near until he rang the bank a few weeks ago.

I had a dream last night that I was on "I'm A Celebrity", it was weird. The only celeb I remember was Kylie, but I talked to Ant and Dec also. Kylie was very friendly and nice, she said she wasn't happy with the cover design of her new album, I said it was pretty good. Then I woke up, cold and alone, and not on TV.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 13:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I love you, Ronan.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 13:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Thank you N, you aren't Kylie but it's comforting nonetheless.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 13:33 (twenty-two years ago)

ex-colleague found herself swimming in a jungle pool in Australia the other week, it os confirmed that she is very nice (even the cellulite on her bum) however, the man in her life = spoiled baby

― chris (chris), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 13:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Kerry's breasts are quite something.

― c-stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 13:57 (twenty-two years ago)

For a second I thought you meant John Kerry, and feared.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 16:14 (twenty-two years ago)

this thread is in desperate need of pictures if youre american. who the hell are these people anyway?

― bill stevens (bscrubbins), Tuesday, 10 February 2004 23:45 (twenty-two years ago)

John Lydon was the lead singer in popular beat combo The Sex Pistols.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 00:07 (twenty-two years ago)

the guy with the mod haircut?

perhaps google will tell me all i need to know.

― bill stevens (bscrubbins), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 00:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Complete with shiny tuxedos, pomade, lounge singers....and the desire to toss pig's blood at the audience.

(xpost)

(OK, so I was kidding about that first bit.)

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 00:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Rotten was a joy. His post-walkout interview was one of the most magnetic pieces of television I've seen for a long time. After that the programme rancidified.

I began to admire Bond for the way she was unputdownable. Attempts by others to disinclude her or make her feel stupid just bounced off. Like when they obviously didn't believe she liked Eminem; sorry, she does. The measure of the woman was shown when she ate the insects without all the fuss shown by everyone else. I'm not saying I like her; but she demonstrated the true value of the older woman in this society. Older women are the bloody backbone of this country: they get on with it.

― All Bunged Up. (Jake Proudlock), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 00:20 (twenty-two years ago)

It's as if you really are all bunged up.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 00:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Having never watched it, I can also give me unique analysis of the other contestants' identities:

Kerry someone : used to be (until they broke up?) in Liverpool chart pop act Atomic Kitten

Jennie Bond - retired as the BBC's long standing royal correspondent last year 'to pursue other avenues' - famous for being a bit of a harlot when younger and forgetting to wea knickers when she met the Queen.

Peter Andre - Australian one (?) hit pop reggae wonder who Tanya off of Big Brother III claimed to have dallied with.

Jordan - Nude model famous for repeatedly enlarging her tits, being a bit weird, pretty under the make up, having health scares and a blind baby. Recently claimed by feminists as a role model.

Lord someone - no idea.

Someone else - Wife or girlfirend of George Best (famously gifted Man Utd and Northern Irish football player, 'Fifth Beatle', ruined by drink)

Is that it?

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 00:25 (twenty-two years ago)

if only our c level celebrities were so fascinating.

perhaps i should watch more of 'carmen & dave'

― bill stevens (bscrubbins), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 00:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Kerry someone : used to be (until they broke up?) in Liverpool chart pop act Atomic Kitten

Was she in Atomic Kitten? I thought she was famous only cos she's married to Brian McFadden, whoever he is (Irish and a popstar, I think, so presumably Boyzone or Westloif).

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 00:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I may well have got confused. I thought there was someone from AK. As I said, my unique insight was based on not having watched the programme at all.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 00:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I kept envisioning Brian McFayden from TRL. the guy who was carson daley's replacement who he himself got replaced his own creepy clone with a different name.

― bill stevens (bscrubbins), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 00:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Having checked, I see that she left Atomic Kitten in 2001 to have babies with Brian.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 00:34 (twenty-two years ago)

She was in Atomic Kitten all right, but left a couple of years ago. So was the blonde one in the Sugababes. Apparently the Kittens have now broken up for a sabbatical. I don't know why: they could easily have signed replacements and kept the franchise going.

Has anyone else noticed that the Kittens' makeup has got yellower and yellower this last year, having once been a perfectly acceptable shade of orange?

― All Bunged Up. (Jake Proudlock), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 00:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Lord Brocket - convicted fraudster type posh bloke

You forgot:

Neil "Razor Ruddock" : ex-Liverpool defender (that'll be soccer chaps), renowned as a hardman on the pitch and a cheerful chap off it. Displayed neither during the program being a girly wimp and hugely grumpy whenever he didn't get any food.

Mike Read: Ex Radio One DJ famous for getting "Relax" banned and that's about it.

― ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 00:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I didn't watch the last two seies of this thing, i have an allergy to itv (or 'Carlton' as i prefer to call it, as it's still that in spirit). Like many others, i only watched it to see what Lydon was like in 'real life' (!). Like, is he as much of a car-crash as he is in a tv-studio/interview setting. But the whole thing was dull, horrifiying in the trials (that's not entertainment and it'll never be unless the UK morphs into Japan), and as usual, humiliating to watch. Profoundly depressing in a way Jimmy the Saint with his theories on fear of death/life would get. Sue me if i feel unhappy that sequences that could have happened in a Malay POW camp get broadcast on Tv (Jenni buried underground with the rats.)

I agree Johnny's leaving was great; as throughout his whole career he gave great interview. This guy can talk about himself and how real he is till the next punk revalooshun rolls around. I challenge anyone who watched that not to think he's a hoary old faker by the end of it. Anyway i dont care about that, get him on tv more, doing 'the Generation Game' or whatever.

― pete s, Wednesday, 11 February 2004 00:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Umm, I can't see him as a faker as he defines himself as he goes along. Faking what, exactly?

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 10:11 (twenty-two years ago)

im glad that kerry won, she was like a lovable christmas pudding, she was like a big kid! lord brocket was a peodaphile! peter andres song was the best! "This is insania!"

― gaol clichy (clichy), Wednesday, 11 February 2004 10:21 (twenty-two years ago)

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