Let's talk about sex.

What we get in the West is:
1. Sex education = pregnancy and VD education

and xpost

Mei-yeah--that is an incredibly powerful cultural stereotype--the whole vigin/whore thing. If a woman wants sex, she's a whore. Good women only have sex to make kids. Totally.

xpost Stuart, promiscuous guys are called "studs" not whores. Totally different connotation, no?

Also, I've seen several pornos, but I'd never consider them to be a huge turn on. Most pornos I've seen are ultimately more entertaining than arousing.

x-posts

I don't buy this for a second. I think girls just dislike it for the same reason they don't like frogs or worms. "It's gross"

but does that stereotype have its origins in the whore/stud double standard? it must. or vice versa. women shouldn't sleep around because sex means more to them, and any woman that doesn't have that emotional attachement is a whore/men fuck whoever because they don't care, and that's okay because boys will be boys

yeah, but I know guys that find frogs/worms/spiders/whatever gross too. Or does your analysis apply to men too?

What? Fight Club explained the whole thing...

"radical gynaecology"! I would have no idea what to expect from that.

pardon?

Goodness, I wouldn't have it any other way and i'm about as far from a porn star as you can get.

ESOJ is my main squeeze these days

Then I assume you just think about (and touch obviously!) things when you masturbate? Would those things you think about turn you off if they were drawn on paper, or made into a film?

We haven't lived together since 1992. we were together for 10 years before that. we just never got around to the paperwork. but we are still very good friends.

ewww-sorry about the breakup--yuck!

esoj is a better replacement than all my wildest dreams put together

mine is radiofreealbmuth

going to sleep now tho, it's late. love to chat also!

Do people who object to porn also object to masturbation?
If notm what do they think about when they do it?
Anyone?

Sometimes I just think I made the rules so I could break em.

Here we go again with the stereotype that so many people (on this board) fall into that all men mastrubate (and love porn). It's simply a stereotype, just like all men love to drink beer and watch football as often as they can, and anyone that tells you all men do it are just feeding the stereotype.
Your bf may have had serious issues, but why would you relate not mastrubating to that?

Porn for men and women: I can think of lots of reasons for a difference between the sexes. The following are all generalisations (and apply mostly to heterosexuals), but I think they are statistically true, as is the statement that men like porn more than women:
Men are exposed to it more often and earlier.
Women are far more sexualised by the media than men. (haha, caught the typo - missed off the last letter of the sentence. It would still have been true of course)
Men are more encouraged (partly by the above but by many other means too) to view women more on physical grounds than vice versa.
Most porn is made by men for men, and what women who are interested might want from it is much harder to find. Until recently in the UK, it was hard to find any images of erect dicks, but women caressing their cunts was fine.
The emotional point - for reasons of socialisation, but also arguably because women are more prone to joined-up emotional thinking, women are more likely to view sex as an important emotional thing rather than simple physical fun.
It's socially still kind of daring for women to express a taste for porn, whereas it's more daring for men to express a distaste for it.
Political objections: there is a lot of porn that is sexist or misogynist in nature. I don't at all believe that porn is inherently sexist or aggressive towards women, but there's lots that I wouldn't defend on these grounds at all.

I am sure there are lots more reasons too.

Personally, I like porn. A lot of it is dull and repetitive, and as I said above some of it offends me or puts me off on aesthetic or some other ground, but I haven't found it too difficult to find stuff that I really enjoy and that turns me on. I'm prepared to go into details of what I like watching best, but I won't inflict that on you unasked.

Sex generally: I find most people surprisingly conservative, inexperienced and unaware of the breadth of what goes on. I was watching a rerun of Coupling the other day, one of the frankest and most adult sitcoms about sex I have seen, and this episode was mostly about threesomes. Patrick, the great stud who has had hundreds of women, and the others agreed that no one ever actually has threesomes, it's just fantasy stuff. I am far from a great stud and am far from three figures in sexual partners, but I've had loads of threesomes. I suspect most people are unaware how much this goes on, and how many people are bisexual - another thing where, in very many circles it is still enormously more acceptable for the women to be bi than for men. I was at one 'party' where about 90% of the women were bi, and I was the only man who admitted to it. I know for a fact that at least one of the others was lying! In those circles, a woman being heterosexual was treated as something of an oddity.

Even within most young, open-minded, clever groups, people are treated as a bit wrong for bringing up sexual matters, beyond the usual bantering. I even get this reaction from fellow ILXers in person, but I imagine that's because they don't want to be made to think about some ugly old bloke having sex...

Some do, but I honestly think that many don't. The girls I've been in relationships with have seemed to operate on a longer cycle than me as far as how often they want to have sex (which is kinda hard to understand you're all about it, but better to just accept I've found :> ).

*raises hand to be counted* I don't masturbate or watch/read/look at porn. I don't object to either per ce, I just don't find it at all appealing. For me, sex with oneself seems kind of pointless. I suppose that's because I look at sex as an interaction. Not neccesarily an emotional one--I've nothing against casual sex, like it better sometimes in fact. But sex seems to be a fundamentally social activity. For me at aleast.

I can't read this whole thread. I'm completely fucking hopped up on coke and my lil' social group assumes the former before social statement can happen.

whatever. yeah sex is cool.

I masturbate.

I like porn.

My nigga.

Commoditisation of sex: Our whole approach to sex is confused by the continual media packaging of partners as a fashion accessory. For example, the stereotyped aspiration for a trophy girlfriend who is nothing more than an accessory for the riverside penthouse flat, bmw etc - which is supposed to be the ultimate symbol of having made it for men.

ie

Women- slim, long hair, flawless complexion etc.

men - muscular, six-pack, rugged good blah bal blah

???

Go into any bar after work, and you'll see sex (in the widest sense: flirting etc) being used as the bait in social games of prestige.

For a second there I was offended, Martin. I knew this 'Jordan' business would lead to problems.

Um, do you mean rises in STDs, pregnancy rate? I wouldn't say the West is the worst off in the world due to lack of sex ed - if anything I'd say the level of discourse about sex (as in physical risks and prevention of pregnancy) is extremely high.

If you're talking about the discourse of sex WRT sexual experimentation and "openness", it really does depend what circles you're talking about. One circle of mine seems to talk about nothing but sex sex sex and quite frankly it's moving towards a desire to remain celibate rather than join in with the yawnfest of *smirks* and nudge nudge wink wink we're all so open-minded back-patters group. I'd take less but more INTERESTING conversations about sex over more boring crap discourse about the old nudge nudge wink wink.

S/D - contraception adverts: "Weapons of Mass Protection"?? vs the good old "Ribbed for Her Pleasure"?

Does this actually work?

*mind boggles*

Now I know we never got this sorted

I never participated.

Luna nailed it, or did she?

When all u are is a scammer all you see are nails

I had sex recently and it was actually quite good. AMA.

bad post

i mean saying let's talk about sex is like saying let's talk about rock (i.e., a very general topic)...uh what exactly do you want to talk about?

interesting to see orbit trying to subtly guide the conversation but failing miserably as most of these newbs try to grasp what she is getting at

i *generally* (emphasis on this) agree with martin with a few very strong objections

but to answer orbit's question: i'm sure there was a generation of canadians in the 80s and 90s that learnt about sex mostly from sue johanson's q107's radio show or her tv show

i personally have fond and fun memories of it. she taught women and men to be "sex positive" without promoting some of the more "extreme" stuff, but also a lot of common sense stuff that needed verbalizing

my personal views on sex and gender tend to be a lot more nuanced than previously discussed in this thread and is of course based on the varied experiences i have been blessed with