What's your type?

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Ok Ok, I know we're all sensitive people with so much to give, but understand me sugar...

if you had to, pain of death, HAD to say what your type (in a sexual sense) was, what would you say?

all details are important....

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 10:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Do you mean narrowly 'sexual' in the sense of looks that make you go rowr!? and imagine having sex with them, or do you mean the sort of look that makes you think "I think they could be the one for me"?

Because they're usually pretty different, for me.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:06 (twenty-two years ago)

hmmmm. good point. i think i mean "i think they could be the one for me"...

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Helvetica Bold Condensed. With nice breasts.

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:10 (twenty-two years ago)

b'doom tsch!

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I've always found this "your type" talk weird. I get attracted to different sorts of people for different reasons, I could never narrow it down to a "type".

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I was going to make that joke too, Steve, but I thought it'd be too obvious. No offense.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:12 (twenty-two years ago)

TS: Tottenham Hotspur winning the Premiership vs Charlton Athletic winning the Champions' League.

― the bellefox, Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:12 (twenty-two years ago)

The picture in my mind of what I want in a partner has never been realised until recently. That said you do grow to love the person you're with even if they don't exactly match what you dream about.

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Well in that case the answer is here.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:13 (twenty-two years ago)

undoubtedly, but do you not fight certain recurring physical characteristics or (more complicatedly) personality traits among those whome you have found attractive?

crosspost

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:13 (twenty-two years ago)

1. Female
2. Still breathing

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:14 (twenty-two years ago)

and some discussions/results of above test here...

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't believe in "types," really. I could look back and say that I like dark haired guys with beards, but I've also had supercrushes on blonde guys sans beards. It's impossible to pin down. There are patterns there, but I don't think it's because I'm more likely to like a certain type of guy; I think they're just there because they're there.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't really understand your question Robbie. When I look at the people I've dated they've all been incredibly different with little similarities between any of them. They've been of all different backgrounds (social and financial).

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:17 (twenty-two years ago)

It was a horrendously obvious joke. But the addition of nice breasts gave it that extra edge, I thought...

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I have an ideal "type" in my head (little pocket pixie people, put simply), but I can honestly say I've never been out with one of them, ever. And I think if I did, I might well explode.

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Hrmm, how can I take the "type test" without actually signing up to be matched?

― Super-Kate (kate), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I suppose i might be too Platonic for my own good here...

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:23 (twenty-two years ago)

i think this thread is for describing your ex's/past relationships with typefaces.

mine have mostly been comic sans MS.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Taller than me, skinnier than me, younger than me.

Alternatively (according to match.com):
http://home.tiscalinet.ch/mpuppis/merchandising/books_fsbook_big.jpg

― Madchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:24 (twenty-two years ago)

i like brunettes with specs. i've just deleted the possible reasons why cos it makes me seem weird.

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:24 (twenty-two years ago)

platonic relationships have never worked for me. I end up fucking everyone I befriend. Lucky I don't make friends too easy. :)

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Brunette

That's all that's required

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I meant Platonic in the sense of having archetypes, platonic conceptions...

anyway...

my type i think is about 5 foot 4 (shorter than me at least, i'm not that specific!), dark hair, some grave emotional problems that would make the relationship very difficult (damn! i should lose that one!), and BIG EYES.

i think i will eventually emphasise the eyes part 2 much and start seeing (ha!) the residents:

http://besalelosdientes.com/~topo/galera.jpg

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:32 (twenty-two years ago)

basically robbie wants to shag a character from an anime film.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Who doesn't?

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:35 (twenty-two years ago)

No. you'd think really...but no...

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:36 (twenty-two years ago)

You don't have to sign up to anything, Kate. Just go here. All they have is an email address of mine.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:37 (twenty-two years ago)

According to the test this is my type:

http://images.match.com/attraction/physical/images/seekreport/2667-ff_03.jpg

Admittedly she is kinda attractive, but even if I had a type, she wouldn't probably be it.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:41 (twenty-two years ago)

that website still gives me nightmares

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Why does it take soooooo long to load?

And why do they keep offering me blokes with beards?

― Super-Kate (kate), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I did the test and apparently:

1. Your photo choices suggest a woman over 40 is probably getting a little old for your tastes

2. You seemed interested in dating a woman at least 25 or older

3. Very beautiful women

4. Wide, round chins

5. Long, oval-shaped faces

6. So-called "Endo-Mesomorphs," with full, oval faces

7. Thick lips

8. Dark brown hair

9. Wavy hair

10. Straight hair

11. Long hair

My problem is I just never meet enough women with long straight wavy hair

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 12:00 (twenty-two years ago)

It loads masses of stuff in advance, Kate, so you can just leave it running. Once it actually starts, it's quick even on a dialup.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 12:00 (twenty-two years ago)

It sometimes seems self-contradictory, but I think that's sometimes when a third thing you hadn't thought of is ruled out (tight, curly hair?).

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 12:02 (twenty-two years ago)

shit! this is why i'm single: i don't like women over thirty or women under 30.

well, i was living a lie, i guess...

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 12:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm advised that:

You might head to Europe for your next vacation to see more of the "Mediterranean Beauties" you seemed to like in the photo test. These women, from a variety of ethnic groups, share dark hair and an olive complexion. Because of their flawless complexion and very full lips, they have to wear little makeup, which adds to a sense of natural beauty. About 1 in 3 men (30%) share your excellent taste!

I'm booking my flight right now

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 12:04 (twenty-two years ago)

30 yr old wimmin are well cute though

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 12:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Finally got through it... loads and loads of waiting between the tests, though. I *knew* they were going to stick me with someone with a beard... (thanks, HSA, for twisting my beard perceptions...) but, well, apart from the beard, erm, yes pretty close!

http://images.match.com/attraction/physical/images/seekreport/4219-mf_07.jpg

― Super-Kate (kate), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 12:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't know how to post the photo they sent me - but she'll do for me

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 12:07 (twenty-two years ago)

...and there's more:

Unique Features You Like:

1. Very attractive Hispanic or Latino women

2. Thin, angular faces with a classic or refined look

3. Glasses and the sophisticated and smart look that goes with them

4. You appreciate how sexy someone very lean or slender can be

Except:

Features You Usually Don't Like:

blah blah blah

Hispanic or Latino women

I only like the attractive ones.... duh!

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 12:14 (twenty-two years ago)

I got that Hispanic pairing too - and I like narrow-chinned women and broad-chinned women. If there are any Latino women out there who aren't Latino, and have broad narrow chins, please contact me immediately.

People I've had sex with in recent years range from about 5' to 6'5, from about 6 stone to about 17 stone, white, black and Asian, male and female, black, blonde, brunette and redhead. I don't think I have a type.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 12:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I never really thought I had a type either - it sometimes takes other people to point these things out to you. I mean yeah, I've fancied all sorts of different people in my time, but I suppose the 'default setting' has become clearer to me.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 12:35 (twenty-two years ago)

default setting is a good way of putting it.

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 12:39 (twenty-two years ago)

N, I can spot your type a mile off.

― Madchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 12:40 (twenty-two years ago)

i have preferences rather than 'types' I guess, as is the case with most people here I would've thought.

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 12:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Basically, dark straight brown hair, cute face, roundish chin, small nose, good skin, slim but cuddly. But it all gets a bit boring after a while.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 12:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Was that it, Madchen? Or are you on the red hair and freckles offshoot tip?

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 12:41 (twenty-two years ago)

i like pretty girls with nice asses.

― tommy, Tuesday, 13 April 2004 12:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually, I saw the photo and thought "she looks how Nick describes everyone he fancies."

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 12:51 (twenty-two years ago)

i like pretty girls with nice asses.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/cambridgeshire/out_about/2003/06/east_england_gallery/girl_donkey_360.jpg

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 12:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha ha, I love you Tuomas, you crazy Finn

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 12:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Do you love my nice ass as well?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 12:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't dig blondes

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 12:57 (twenty-two years ago)

blonde with tans = the biggest turn off.

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 12:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, how about my horse?

http://www.mv.helsinki.fi/aqkorhon/kaarela2.jpg

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 12:58 (twenty-two years ago)

A laminated horse, cool.

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 12:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Robbie OTM, if he's talking about deep tans and very blonde hair. Yeach! Especially if she has prominent tan lines too.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:00 (twenty-two years ago)

indeed that's what i was talking about N.

it's horrible, and sadly v. popular at the moment (at least in my particular corner of the world)

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:01 (twenty-two years ago)

They were rife at the Winchester Club.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:02 (twenty-two years ago)

What, Glasgow?

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Glasgow (or actually one of the satellite towns, I forget which) has more tanning shops per capita than anywhere else in the world.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:03 (twenty-two years ago)

N, I would add interesting, possibly ethnicky jewellery and an oirish accent might help too.

― Madchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:04 (twenty-two years ago)

too tiresome and depressing to list. next.

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:04 (twenty-two years ago)

aye, but Glasgow's tanning shops are there as money laundering outfits as well...

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Glasgow (or actually one of the satellite towns, I forget which) has more tanning shops per capita than anywhere else in the world.

They need them more than anywhere else in the world

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:05 (twenty-two years ago)

For your type, not for girls at the Winchester Club. Drunken, older women were rife on Saturday night.

(many x-posts)

― Madchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I had eyes, made at me.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think I know my type yet.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I like girls.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:07 (twenty-two years ago)

can you all stop saying 'rife' so much?

fake tan is a cancer on our society, somewhat ironically

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:08 (twenty-two years ago)

An older drunken lady spilled vodka and coke all down my back, and then made the best ever apology:

"I am so fuckin sorry! i'm just so fuckin sorry" while rubbing my back. nice.

the best bit of the WINCHester club was the singalong to "build me up, buttercup".

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:08 (twenty-two years ago)

ethnicky jewellery

???

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I didn't mean it that way Richard but thanks.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:10 (twenty-two years ago)

: )

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Basically Madchen, i think you are talking about the Orange advert girl:

http://img37.photobucket.com/albums/v115/nickdastoor/w_1.gif

And you are right.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:16 (twenty-two years ago)

N., what a great fact. I noticed when I got here there is practically one in every street, but then when I went back to Rugby there's two opened up there now, so maybe they're just taking over the country.

I don't think I have a 'type', physically. I started to take that test, but got bored. It just taught me that I don't like men who look like morons.

― Cathy (Cathy), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:16 (twenty-two years ago)

: )

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I feel dirty for having posted that picture.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:18 (twenty-two years ago)

: )

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:18 (twenty-two years ago)

is that the girl who wants to ban beards?

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Imagine how she feels N

I actually think in some respects I do have a type, I go for smaller girls, height wise, or they go for me, I don't know. It's a practical thing which has become a sort of habit I guess. I had a sort of joke crush on a girl who was much taller than me before, it was never going to work though...

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, I am two degrees of separation from that Orange advert girl, I think. She is the sister of someone I went to school with. Or so I was told.

― Cathy (Cathy), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:20 (twenty-two years ago)

With the de rigeur faux-Scottish accent?

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:20 (twenty-two years ago)

TORMENT ME NOT, CATHY.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:21 (twenty-two years ago)

don't tell him that, cathy.

crosspost

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:21 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm still ga-ga for Scottish accents actually

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I think it was revoiced. She is Nicole Laliberté (La Liberté?) and I think she's American or French.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:22 (twenty-two years ago)

You should hear mine stevie

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm three degrees of seperation away from Stalin and Hitler. nice.

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:23 (twenty-two years ago)

ha ha, it would be funny meeting her and expecting her to sound like the narrator in the advert. and then be amazed when you find she actually doesn't mind beards so much.

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:23 (twenty-two years ago)

That's my dream life, that is.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Red hair = Scottish accent

Advertisers are such dullards. She, however, is hot.

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Alright, maybe just interesting jewellery.

Is that the girl who would ban beards? She wouldn't let you kiss her - you'd scratch her face off.

― Madchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:25 (twenty-two years ago)

So - Spurs?

― the bellefox, Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:26 (twenty-two years ago)

but, for now, you have google.

crosspost x3

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:26 (twenty-two years ago)

There aren't really that many redheads in Scotland really - nothing compared to Ireland, anyway.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Anyway, most redheads are minging, in the 'they're not the Orange advert girl' kind of way.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually N, that is untrue, Scotland has more redheads per head of population than anywhere in the world - true

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:27 (twenty-two years ago)

If she's American or French, then I was lied to.

I'm two degrees of separation from the Indian twins in that O2 advert that was always on before Big Brother last year too. And that's definitely true, because their Mum lived near me, and it was in the paper.

Scottish accents, yes.

― Cathy (Cathy), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:28 (twenty-two years ago)

my brother moved, to england.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Well in Glasgow they must have all dyed their hair blonde, Dadaismus.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:28 (twenty-two years ago)

oh, and thingy bostrum?

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:29 (twenty-two years ago)

"The highest percentage of natural redheads in the world is in Scotland (13%), followed closely by Ireland with 10%. In the US, about 2% of the population are natural redheads."

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Tangentially:

is the voice of orange fones (the one who says "welcome to your orange answerphone") Corey Caulfield the radio 4 news reader?

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I've noticed a lot of redheads in Scotland. I makes me feel less special.

Yes, and Arthur Bostrum too.

― Cathy (Cathy), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Redheads apparently feel more pain than other people (it was in the Times last Saturday). So now I am hurt beyond belief at your callous and shallow dismissal of my people.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Whose?

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:35 (twenty-two years ago)

orange girl is gorgeous.
looking back over the past few years, it would appear that my type is tall(er), skinny, dark-haired. i don't think that's my absolute ideal type, though... there are some notable outliers on the graph. i think the main thing i look for is someone who will let me talk nonsense at them while drunk.

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:36 (twenty-two years ago)

About half the time women on ILE describe their ideal man, it seems to be me. Do other people find this too?

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:37 (twenty-two years ago)

No. I find you to be intensely arrogant, but then again, maybe some ILXor women find arrogance attractive, too...

― Super-Kate (kate), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:38 (twenty-two years ago)

haha, wow, what's the point?

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:38 (twenty-two years ago)

ha, 'maybe'

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Arrogance, give him up.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:39 (twenty-two years ago)

N is not my ideal man, i blame that 'Neil Morrissey' pic

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:40 (twenty-two years ago)

i think the main thing i look for is someone who will let me talk nonsense at them while drunk.

This is a must for anyone spending much time with me.

N - I just wanted to shoehorn in the feel more pain thing.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:40 (twenty-two years ago)

feel more ruin more like

SMELL THE ARROGANCE!

http://www.boardhell.de/gimmicks/martel2.jpg

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:41 (twenty-two years ago)

N does it comfort you much?

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:41 (twenty-two years ago)

x-post - did you not know there was a link here from NDastoor fan page?

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I knew there was a link from the N. ex-girlfriends' club, but then again, maybe I'm mixing that up with Sinister...

::ducks::

― Super-Kate (kate), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:42 (twenty-two years ago)

sinister ducks?

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I do not actually think I *am* these people's ideal man - just that the description always seems to fit what I am. But maybe, outside of fairly objective things like skinniness and height, it's like horoscopes - they are phrased in such a way that everyone thinks it fits them. That's what I was getting at. I'm totally over the whole arrogance phase.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:43 (twenty-two years ago)

i think the main thing i look for is someone who will let me talk nonsense at them while drunk.

and he can't just be humoring me. there has to be genuine interest in the nonsense! this is the difficult part.

xpost

meow!

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:43 (twenty-two years ago)

i am totally down with the drunk nonsense, but i fear i will put you all to shame here

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I do genuinely love girls talking nonsense when drunk. And I am interested. But now it sounds like I'm hitting on lauren, which would be pathetic.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:45 (twenty-two years ago)

fuck off all of u!!! u all know that Nick is well fit really and its only because your jealus cos your boyfs are all mingers or maybe just cos your all lezzers!

WE LUV U NICK!

― jenni (Matt DC), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:45 (twenty-two years ago)

HURRAH!

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes! It can lead to great conversations.

Although sometimes I think that just not taking the piss out of me too much the morning after is the mark of a gentleman.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I've not thought "that sounds like me!" about any of ideal man posts, though maybe I haven't read many. I'm fairly happy with the way I look too, it's not quite like reading a horoscope however, I think. Are you sure it's not just you N?

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe you have a wide catchment area in vague looks descriptions.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't know - ask jenni.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Speaking of horoscopes, all my boyfriends have been Sagittarians.

― Madchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:50 (twenty-two years ago)

x-posts...

Ha ha, sorry, I had to leave the room coz I was still giggling.

I think it's probably just the horrorscope thing, cause most girls have just said things like "tall, dark and handsome..." which is very vague.

The arrogance comment comes from assuming that one *is* "tall, dark and handsome" and therefore all these posts must be describing oneself!

(I didn't mean to insult N, ILXor girls and Sinister all in one swoop... well, maybe just N and Sinister, really...)

― Super-Kate (kate), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Speaking of astrology all of my girlfriends have been Satan

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:51 (twenty-two years ago)

that's not what I heard.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Kate, I am (quite) tall, dark-haired and skinny. The word 'handsome' didn't appear.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:52 (twenty-two years ago)

well, necessity is evil's mother...

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:53 (twenty-two years ago)

(I guess I am gulity of thinking that the occasional 'pretty boy' applies to me, though)

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:53 (twenty-two years ago)

applies for what? suave lessons?

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:53 (twenty-two years ago)

invention=evil?

you sound a lot older, than you are.

crosspost x2

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:54 (twenty-two years ago)

i think Ronan meant 'sat on'

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:54 (twenty-two years ago)

i am totally down with the drunk nonsense, but i fear i will put you all to shame here

please refer to my last night's speech on the number of records and cds on my floor, the guy recently trapped in his apartment by an avalanche of hoarded periodicals, the guy found keeping a lion his apartment, and my spiritual kinship with both of them. also refer to the night last week when i pretended to be bulgarian and also a lesbian.

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 13:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I didn't mean sat on, maybe satei.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Hi there Jenni all other fellow Nick-fans. I'd love to spend the night with Nick, a couple of bottles of wine and his guitar. I would be allowed to give him as much pleasure as he has given me. I would lights a million vanilla scented candles and pour him some expensive wine. We would get high and drink until our mouths started to feel that special way when you've just got to start kissing - then we do. We kiss slow and tender at first but then things start heating up. I can feel how hard he is and I know that he is wanting me as badly as I'm wanting him. He's very shy so I always take the lead. He watches like a hungry wolf as I undo my blouse and play with my nipples. I pick up his hands and place them on my breasts. He is so gentle and he feels so right. Before long I take him and lead him into the bedroom. He sits down on the bed and I treat him to a private lap dance. He can't withstand much more of this teasing so I take down his pants and climb on top of him. Our bodies are a natural match and we move together in perfect harmony. It ends in a smashing orgasm for each of us. He sings ‘Is It Wicked Not To Care?’ for me. Then we sleep in each others arms until morning.

― Margaret Frumpp (Matt DC), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I trust it's not N. himself who's posting these...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I will never have relations with this woman.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I feel sick.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Think how I feel.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:11 (twenty-two years ago)

now that's some nonsense!

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:11 (twenty-two years ago)

She's already explained that one for me N

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Matt DC is an unsung genius.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:13 (twenty-two years ago)

"A smashing orgasm" is a nice way of putting it, no?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:13 (twenty-two years ago)

She is a fantasist. I have only ever had any kind of thing with one Belle & Sebastian fan ever, anyway.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Shit, two.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:14 (twenty-two years ago)

"Our bodies are a natural match"

VOMIT

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:14 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, DC, you're starting to worry me. How many other ILXors have you written fan fiction about?

― Super-Kate (kate), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:15 (twenty-two years ago)

'worry'

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:16 (twenty-two years ago)

perhaps i'm still drunk but i can't stop laughing. the intern just asked me what's going on. what am i supposed to say?

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:22 (twenty-two years ago)

"dastoor"

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:26 (twenty-two years ago)

think "what would clinton do"

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Is it time for the "Dastoor way (UH HUH! UH HUH!) I like it" joke yet?

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Ouch Jerry.

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Dastoory of love.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I've read all of DC's erotic novellas

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:34 (twenty-two years ago)

(thanks for bringing the tone down for that one Jerry!)

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:34 (twenty-two years ago)

my favourite is The Scoundrel Who Took The High Road

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:34 (twenty-two years ago)

(Actually, regular London drinkers may or may not know that I have in fact read some incredibly lurid fan-fiction sent by a real actual pervy mentalist to a female Ilxer which is considerably more graphic than anything on this thread.)

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:34 (twenty-two years ago)

heh, she still hasn't twigged

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:36 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, *NOW* you have to tell me more.

― Super-Kate (kate), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:38 (twenty-two years ago)

crosspost x 10000000

RJG - how do i sound older? admittedly the youth has been sucked out of my soul, but i thought that I only noticed that...

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:38 (twenty-two years ago)

sorry, I was just kidding.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:41 (twenty-two years ago)

that's ok...

just paranoid about the fading of youth...

"and now twenty-four is breathing in my face like a mad whore"

as cheery Mark Kozelek sang...

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Or maybe Charlton?

― the bellefox, Tuesday, 13 April 2004 14:56 (twenty-two years ago)

just paranoid about the fading of youth...

this is why you need to invest in a good undereye cream. i recommend cle de peau.

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 15:01 (twenty-two years ago)

my youth isn't fading.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 15:02 (twenty-two years ago)

The hottest guys are black guys with hard bodies and round little butts, small hard nipples on a nice protruding chest and soft full lips with white straight teeth and a good peice of wood!

― lowlow, Tuesday, 13 April 2004 15:18 (twenty-two years ago)

pretty girls who like comics and/or me.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 15:20 (twenty-two years ago)

physical type: i've dated and/or crushed on a lot of different sorts (with varying height/weight/build/hair color/gender) and what it all adds up to is that now i know what i'm not attracted to (i don't typically like young-looking guys or super-skinny, waifish guys) but as with everything that's subject to change. the "type" of the person i'm in love with is the type i'm most attracted to at that moment.

personality type: smart, curious about things, "thinks big," quick on the draw, genuine and low-bullshit with a healthy amount of eccentricity and pretense, somewhat arrogant but not condescending, shy but not meek

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 16:00 (twenty-two years ago)

i think i'll use jbr's approach.

what's not my type:

anyone super-skinny, men who wear make-up, blondes, anyone who's lived a sheltered life (and not tried to escape it), drug addicts (alkies are cool though), people who have no creative/artistic side, people who like to argue just for the sake of it, conservatives, people without tattoos, the sexually submissive, the sexually inhibited, people who are unable to do things like basic car repair, people who can't take care of themselves like proper adults, hmm. . .that's all I can think of.

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 16:28 (twenty-two years ago)

JBR's approach is much sharper, indeed. She should extend it to the personality type.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I honestly don't think I have a type.

I may be a fun hater, but this is a terrible thread.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 16:33 (twenty-two years ago)

what i'm not attracted to personalitywise: it's so much easier to say what i like in this case because most people are total assclowns. umm... no assclowns.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 16:34 (twenty-two years ago)

what i'm not attracted to personalitywise: it's so much easier to say what i like in this case because most people are total assclowns. umm... no assclowns.

That's about all I can say about my type as well.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 16:35 (twenty-two years ago)

But again, I bet most people would say 'that's me!' to your personality type.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 16:35 (twenty-two years ago)

They would be wrong, though.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 16:35 (twenty-two years ago)

otm

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 16:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I guess, but if someone says 'shy' I think 'yes, I am shy'. If someone says 'confident' I think 'yes, I am confident'.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 16:37 (twenty-two years ago)

thread of the day, hands down

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 16:37 (twenty-two years ago)

If someone says 'nazi sympathiser' I think 'yes, I am a nazi sympathiser'.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 16:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Fire-eater? Yes, I am that.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 16:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I guess, but if someone says 'shy' I think 'yes, I am shy'. If someone says 'confident' I think 'yes, I am confident'.

true, but so what? i'm not writing a personal ad, just saying what i like based on my own observations.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 16:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I know, but it's interesting that it's like a private language.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 16:41 (twenty-two years ago)

people who pay attention to you are always interesting, at least until you start to wonder what their problem is.

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 16:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I find it kind of alarming when people pay too much attention to me, unless I'm performing in some way. I keep thinking they'll rumble that I'm just talking crap.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 16:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I hate most people that pay attention to me.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 16:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Tell me more about that, Nicole.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 16:46 (twenty-two years ago)

we've already established that talking crap, at least of the drunken variety, is a good thing.

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 16:47 (twenty-two years ago)

quirky, funny art-school dropout girls with short or medium length brown or black hair, preferably in a bob, 5ft to 5ft 8in, curvy, who are really into film and dancing and eating meat, you know, like steak and hamburgers, get your mind out of the gutter. Contrary to VERY popular beief, while it would be nice to date girls who have similar interests in music to me, it is by no means a prerequisite, what's more important is a snarky gossipy sense of humor. Specific enough? I can go on.

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 16:48 (twenty-two years ago)

That's me!

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 16:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I like girls.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

quirky, funny art-school dropout girls with short or medium length brown or black hair, preferably in a bob, 5ft to 5ft 8in, curvy, who are really into film and dancing

if i had been an art-school dropout do you think it would have worked out? or am i just not funny?

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I tend to narrow it down to those with a penis, but you never know, maybe the girl of my dreams just hasn't come along yet. It would be really great though if she was a girl who looked a lot like a boy and totally had a penis. Also, her vagina is pretty dispensable since I don't need a spare or anything.

― Kim (Kim), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 16:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Someone should say something about never putting your chickens in one basket just about now, but maybe that's too Dan Perry-esque.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Lauren, you should remember our relationship soured when you went vegan, duh.

I will say however that Lauren, like the girl I'm currently, umm, hanging out with, fit a really nice middle ground between fashionable hipster and classy JAP which I really like. Like you know how girls are always looking for guys who are all badass and cool but they can also take home to mom? That's how I feel, I want the art-school girl who makes her own funky clothes and shit, but also looks nice in Burberry.

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:03 (twenty-two years ago)

A girl who makes her own shit is a must.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I suppose you do that too.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I think that's factory standard.

― Kim (Kim), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:13 (twenty-two years ago)

when I was taking my first art classes at college this one girl shot a video of another girl who was working on some sort of weird joseph cornell meets joel peter-witkin sculpture thing. The latter girl had found a dead bird and picked it up and was doing all this weird stuff to it and I fell in love with her instantly.

That's a weird story I suppose. No, I'm not turned on by people who mess around with dead animals and acknowledge that art w/ roadkill is a rite of passage for many silly death-obsessed post-goth self-titled artists, but this woman was really talented and was morbid about it.

Another girl in the class did a video project where she just shot a video of herself digging a big hole in the ground with her bare hands for 20 minutes. It was really beautiful. I loved her too. But she was crazy.

That first girl, however, would be one of my biggest crushes and later better friends at college, last I heard she was doing print-making in buffalo.

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:25 (twenty-two years ago)

3 cheers for liberal arts colleges, people!

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Daniel Clowes "Art School Confidential" the thread.

Daniel Clowes "Ugly Girls" to thread.

Daniel Clowes "Ghost World" to thread.

Daniel Clowes to thread.

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Huzzah?

I like the 'no assclowns' admonition and will leave it at that.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

assclowns need love to.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Samantha Fox's comeback single is assured.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

"assured" Ned? naughty.

― Kim (Kim), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:42 (twenty-two years ago)

So at this local mexican restaurant, there is a big lagoon in the place with cliffs above and like a bunch of highschool kids act out this "brawl" on the cliffs and one of them is "shot" and falls into the lagoon, and like, "dies" I guess... anyway, I decided I want to be hired to do that. Except I really want to be shot. And I want a bunch of red to swell up in the lagoon when I fall into it.

THE END

― mandee, Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:46 (twenty-two years ago)

er, okay, carry on!

on the subject of types:

when I took the match.com test, it displayed a photograph of a dude who looked nearly identical to seth cohen from The O.C. - the caption said, "this man is your ideal type." I didn't necessarily agree. It also displayed a photograph of a cat-looking cross-eyed dude. The caption said, "You are attracted to unusual features."

― mandee, Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Did it mention the ponce thing?

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:54 (twenty-two years ago)

: (

How did it go, with Tex, btw?

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I love all the poncing. I don't think the pinefox understood this.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:57 (twenty-two years ago)

That's ironic.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 17:58 (twenty-two years ago)

JtN:

Uhh, not good.

Let's just say he gave me advice on how to make a proper treasure map.

― Mandee, Tuesday, 13 April 2004 18:01 (twenty-two years ago)

He also told me that if I were to coat a dollar-bill in molasses, bake it, then rinse off the molasses, it'd look JUST like a PAPER TOWEL!!

― mandee, Tuesday, 13 April 2004 18:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Wait - I thought you said it went not so good?

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 18:09 (twenty-two years ago)

It didn't!

Well, the date itself went fine.

But I never heard from him again :(

― mandee, Tuesday, 13 April 2004 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Did you take him to Casa Bonita?

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

quirky, funny art-school dropout girls with short or medium length brown or black hair, preferably in a bob, 5ft to 5ft 8in, curvy, who are really into film and dancing and eating meat...a snarky gossipy sense of humor.
Just to lend some credence to N.'s "private language" theory, this desciption seems almost 100% otm in its resemblance to me (minus the eating meat part).

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 21:29 (twenty-two years ago)

this thread's brilliant!

― cozen (Cozen), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 21:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Kinda. Some of it's left me feeling sicky.

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 21:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Me too.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 21:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I just like people who surprise me. And people I can share clothes with.

― kirsten (kirsten), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 21:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Hiya!

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 21:51 (twenty-two years ago)

LARA! I was just posting a message that said "WHY haven't you e-mailed me?" I miss you!

― kirsten (kirsten), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 21:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I just want someone who's seen "The Stoned Age" -- puhleez, god, PLEASE.

― Mandee, Tuesday, 13 April 2004 21:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Will email tomorrow and if I do not you have permission to put a hex on my future happiness. I will send you photos of my new boy's car!

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 21:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I tried the test twice and both times it refused to tell me my type:( I even created a fake name to join match with and everything.

― Mary (Mary), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 21:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Bedtime, I kind of forgot it's a school night and I'm gonna be witchy tomorrer cos of the not-sleeping.

― Lara (Lara), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 21:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm glad so many women feel they fit my type, I hope they take joy in the fact that I'm one in a million who like that type. Now if only I fit those girls' type....sob sob.

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 22:35 (twenty-two years ago)

so many? roxy and, uh... n.?

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 23:27 (twenty-two years ago)

someone else said it.

you're just getting snippy with me because of the "before your time" comment on the Sun City Girls thread...

and after I invited you to see Neil Hamburger...

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Tuesday, 13 April 2004 23:33 (twenty-two years ago)

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