Your Best Sinister Post

By one of life's funny little ironies, the first post I clicked on was the Pinefox's report on the Sinister vs ILE football match.

IMO

...Arab Strap was released in Sept '98. The EPs to which you refer were released in 1997. Sinister started around the time of the second of those three EPs.

sorry. coincidence between start of Sinister and Belle and Sebastians Losing It retracted.

but TBWTAS....what are the good songs? It could have been a brilliant career? Ease your feet into the sea? The rollercoaster ride???

Is this the place for this?

my B&S days are probably over for ever. even IYFS is still listened to through a filter of 15/16 nostalgia when it was thee most perfect music.

XPOST

hey! i've not got anything against them, this is just the bitter wail of a disappointed fan...

and liz: x it's not a problem with the titles it's a problem with the tunes and (especially) the arrangements.

To people who have not been on sinister, I will repeat once more something that I said above: This thread is mainly for people who have been on sinister. (Happily, other threads abound for people who have not been.)

no, I will not bother seeking more mots injustes.

Baffling.

Probably my best post.

i say 'had', though i still like them. the b&s of today are a different band. nice, in their own way. probably more 'grown-up'. less 'pathetic'. less interesting, for that.

x-post: liz - i think the rollercoaster ride is about a bit more than that. illness, both mental and physical, for example.

yes, ILX can be very selective, often appearing as though there are only 5 or 6 people on the entire internet whose ideas are worthy of digestion. It is wise not to waste time with it. In fact those who do deserve congratulations.

http://www.nodata.org/honey/sinister/mhonarc/200203/msg00205.html

and BWTAS's the greatest record ever, except for "step into my office baby". (No...)

my apologies for my ignorance...

I don't think we should use the word 'Cunts' on sinister. Save it for I Love Comics.

Cheers to Amanda for pointing us towards something interesting by her.

The level of inanity - or is it just venom? - on this thread continues to surprise me.

lovers not fighters

I don't know if it's my best, in fact it's not very 'good'. but i think it's representative of me, then. I wonder if I appreciate the ability to look at my self of 5 years ago, or if it's actually a bit crap and scary?

Perhaps it is also hard for people to offer up what worked superlatively within the Sinister framework & run the risk of having what they are proud of be torn to shreds by someone/anyone who neither knows nor cares anything for that forum. (Which would be of course their perfect right to do, seeing as this board has nothing to do with Sinister & owes it no rspect or allegiance.)

Maybe you would have more success by foregoing the 'celebrating themselves' idea & limit the thread to the idea of celebrating others.

I just wanted to celebrate sinister.

I will start posting links to others.

(Like I say, people with no interest on sinister can read the Condoleeza Rice vs Busted threads.)

(PS / I have replied to your e-mail at last.)

http://www.nodata.org/honey/sinister/mhonarc/200208/msg00045.html

I like the idea of celebrating Sinister. I owe it a lot, even though I inevitably hate my posts from the second I click Send.

But it wasn't -- it was the one which surprised me still more.

http://www.nodata.org/honey/sinister/mhonarc/199907/msg00048.html

And they were MENKO, I mean, even more menko than I would have expected - I couldn't even parse three sentences in the jizz-scarf post.

I think we should heed the word of Wings, the Pinefox, and live and let (old posts) die.

The MEXICO section of this is as good an argument as I can think of for the particular qualities of sinister:

http://www.nodata.org/honey/sinister/mhonarc/200003/msg00310.html

- I mean, you have to say that's magnificent.

I am unsure whether to think that DCW, for instance, met this tentative wish. Perhaps not.

http://www.nodata.org/honey/sinister/mhonarc/200305/msg00083.html

http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/2000-month-05/msg00415.html

It also offers a good (to say 'interesting' would be conceit) snapshot into some of the stuff which was going on in my life at the time.

It *looks* so different!

amazing that the one that PF links to was less than a year ago and etc. I like it okay, in parts, surprisingly. thanks, btw.

http://www.nodata.org/honey/sinister/mhonarc/199809/msg00681.html

Special mention: since he's not here to post it, I also heart this full-on, unaffectionate libel of a smallish but beloved sinisterine by his lecherous, oily old housemate, Sleazy J. McWheezy:

http://www.nodata.org/honey/sinister/mhonarc/199801/msg00682.html

- is one reason I have always remembered that RJG post: the mustard in the abstract sandwich, perhaps.

http://www.nodata.org/honey/sinister/mhonarc/200010/msg00041.html

Others by ILXers - this is dead classic Ally C, and I've always found the praise of my winger skilxors the least magical part of this one. I do miss it.

Anyway, no 'best post', but for those who care, here is a representative selection of my time as a bedwetter.

Early lack of promise

Into the swing of things

Antsiness prompts a reply from Stuart M

Cheeky

The start of the Tom Ewing exchange programme

Restlessness

Phil Collins

I'm better than this

Time to go.

http://www.nodata.org/honey/sinister/mhonarc/200103/msg00026.html

Tag, you forgot the kisses.

xxx

Are you going to be like this until Cabbage gets back, Matt?

I always thought that ink polaroids were just an excuse for the kids to tell the whole list what they were wearing.

Hello. I am Rachel.

Hello Rachel, I was idiotic and did not write to you in time to go smoking in the big smoke with you and your husband but I assume you were too busy making sweet love at each tube stop to miss me, right? I do hope so.

Peace list,
Northy ~

There is one phrase & one pun that still tickle me but I doubt that they would mean anything either to anyone else or out of context.

Could anyone help me find The P F's extract from his Eastern European novel? Then I should choose some clasic Lynyrd.

I am touched that Gregory and Papa M have revived 'Eighth Wonder' and 'Streets of Fire'. I am proud of both for their differing virtues.

http://www.nodata.org/honey/sinister/mhonarc/200005/msg00404.html

1. look back at my old posts, and chuckle at my own wit (someone has to)
2. look back at my old posts, and be amazed at my own crassness
3. decide that i'm never, never submitting anything i've written there for approval/opprobrium here
4. Consider actually using capital letters every once in a while. In their correct places. Like a Grown-Up.

It has been fun to navel-gaze.

What a wittering start to my first posting. I could have made a splash, I could have been a ink polaroid competitor, I could have been a whistle, could have been a clock. Instead I'm just a late entrant to the whole party, who missed out by having lost his ear for a phenomenon when he heard B&S so long ago on the Mark Radcliffe show but didn't look up from his newspaper, merely registering Judy and the
Dream of Horses and thinking it a little twee. Sigh.

The fun just doesn't stop.

'Late entrant'!

My Top 3 Cgrys posts from teh archives:

Lynyrd One

Lynyrd Two

Lynyrd Three

http://www.nodata.org/honey/sinister/mhonarc/200004/msg00337.html

That really is nice work; I initially wanted it for the title alone, but the text too is utterly distinctive.

http://www.nodata.org/honey/sinister/mhonarc/200005/msg00033.html

http://www.nodata.org/honey/sinister/mhonarc/200005/msg00404.html

http://www.nodata.org/honey/sinister/mhonarc/200005/msg00069.html

http://www.nodata.org/honey/sinister/mhonarc/200005/msg00235.html

http://www.nodata.org/honey/sinister/mhonarc/200005/msg00406.html

Mortifying. My posts are mortifying. That's the drawback to becoming a whole person in a public forum.

http://www.nodata.org/honey/sinister/mhonarc/200108/msg00257.html

It contains things I remember (an illuminating conversation with Ewing) and things I don't (Rener! whom I never met till June 2002).

1
2
3

4

also context now totally invalid re: gig scheduling

I do so love Julian. We once discussed him giving me my brown wings, much to the delight of my husband. I still see him around town and get a real thrill.

Julian was last seen at a B&S gig in Liverpool in December dancing in a balcony, drinking champagne.

He is scared of me.
BUT who isn't?

http://www.nodata.org/honey/sinister/mhonarc/200303/msg00001.html

I was quite touched by this, but my touchedness is tempered by my frustration at missing the Roxy Music conversation.

I wanted to go to this pub on Saturday.

I think Julian was mentioned when I met the Jolly Warranders Four.

"I walk into a boozer aptly tucked away west of Regent
Street, and find Hopkins and the Duke of H holding
hands. Among the first times I can remember hearing
about the Duke was when my editor, in that boozer next
to the venue at Shepherd's Bush, said, - There's
someone here I want to meet. It was the Duke. Did he
want to meet my editor too? I don't know. He should
have done."

-- Jerry the Nipper (jerrythenippe...)

We're going to leave them to it folks.

< sings > Reaching out! Holding hands, Reliving Memories...Life is Full, Full of Surprises...And the nicest surprise in my life, is you! Good Night, Chucks!

Here's one we left out of the scrapbook, but it's seared in the memory of everyone in our chalet at Bowlie. On a flickering TV that wouldn't be leased out at the worst rental shop, "Milk and Honey" plays in the background. On the left there is JJ, about to tuck into a sandwich. He doesn't seem to notice the disgusted look on the face of his lovely fiancee, but her eyes aren't on him. She seems to be trying not to retch at the sight of the other occupant of the room, a very seriously unwashed brown-haired tramp clad in a t-shirt and boxer shorts, who is spreading far, far too much mustard on thick slices of bread. (Those stink lines are drawn in for effect.) But look more closely. The woman's horror at this revolting slob isn't at his ridiculous use of condiments. The bum wearing his boxer shorts has his legs splayed from his seating position... the "fly" of those boxers is in fact gaping open, and clearly visible right there is-- but don't look at it!-- the wrinkly, greyish, and laughably small [the rest of this ink polaroid is illegible]

and he calls himself a half jew.

Do you all want to tell us what is going on in your lives seeing as we haven't seen any of you people in years.

--

**Hewitt
Sorry I didn't make the anniversary / birthday bash. I was very ill
following an attempt on my life by either Gabi Roslin, Carol
Vorderman, Barry McGuigan or the beardy bloke out of the Learn Direct
advertisements.

**Safe at last
I have got engaged to my girlfriend Suzie, so the female folk of
Sinister are safe once again. That's unless Stevie Trousers
re-subscribes.

**Speaking of Trousers
I joined http://www.musicmobs.com (as 'retrocool') which takes
information from iTunes and enables you to find people with similar
taste. When I clicked 'similar users', Stevie Trousers was there, but
which skinny, foppish, pretentious indie kid came top?
None other than Nick Dastoor, whom I've never quite forgiven for
being as skinny, indie, foppish and pretentious as me. And now he's
got a matching record collection.

I seem to remember him getting to JtN more than me - I think I tried to stop him dropping ash in his mouth.

Not mine, but an all time classic.

Who is Geoff Sheridan? This is all very entertaining.

http://www.nodata.org/honey/sinister/picnics/May2001-ThePrimrosePath1.jpg

Do Sinister people still have picnics? I can't be arsed actually reading it to find out.

(note to self: stop reading stupid book about how the pictures of the moon landings were faked)

I don't think it's Big Stu, I think it's someone's little brother.

Here are a couple of rock biographies to avoid:

Morrissey: Landscapes of the Mind
Neil Young: A Dreamer of Pictures

Note the similar titles. It's probably best to avoid anything with a title
like that. I don't know who the authors are, but the Moz one is more at home
with Edith Piaf from the looks of things. As for a B&S book, I'd like to see
one of those "In Their Own Words" books devoted to them. I'm not usually
backward at coming forward when it comes to rabbitting on about Rock books
I've read, so this time I'll point out a few that I haven't read, but would
like to:

"Moon the Loon: The Amazing Rock'n'Roll Life of Keith Moon"
This was writen by Keith's personal assistant. It begins with an account of
a search for "spare gash". I once saw a copy of it in a second hand bookshop
in Loughborough, but I didn't buy it. What a buffoon I am! The cover alone
is priceless. (Tag, if you're still with us, ask Sean to show you).

"Death Discs" by Alan Clayson
A book about records about death, such as "Leader Of The Pack" and "Don't
Jump Off the Roof, Dad" by Tommy Cooper.

"Soulsville USA: The Story of Stax Records" by Rob Bowman
I'm sure this will contain plenty of Isaac Hayes information, and as such is
a must for guys like me.

"The Crack in the Cosmic Egg" by the fabulous furry Freeman brothers of
Ultima Thule. It's an encyclopaedia of Krautrock, dead big and probably full
of bollocks.

"I've Got a Brand New Trombone Harvester - The Don Drummond Story"
Only available on import from Jamaica, this is the story rise and fall of
the founding father of ska, who killed his wife in a bizarre tromboning
accident and was packed off to a mental institution, where he sat down and
dictated this compelling autobiography.

A good place to find out about music books is the Helter Skelter website,
address unknown. They've got the Deacon Blue book really cheap. Poor old
Ricky Ross, Mister Bargain Bucket.

Beth wrote:

Beth prefers "who ate all the pies? who ate all the pies? The huns! (those
fat bastards) THEY ate all the pies."

I would also like to read a biography of Beth, to find out where all this
stuff comes from. I mean , there she is, being informative and enthusiastic
as usual, and then all of a sudden she comes out with this. B!I!Z!A!R!R!E!
But it was the Huns, they did eat all the pies.

love,
Sister Disco

PS: T!mothy Hopk!ns, you can't pull the wool over my eyes. At least not for
more than a couple of scary seconds. What a memory you have!

Here are some more rock book recommendations:

'Unwelcome Home: the strange tale of Peters and Lee' by Mrs Evander Mitchell
This details the descent of the once-great 1970s light entertainment duo from
pop stardom into a
seedy life of accountancy and ventriloquism. As a tale of everyday madness,
this one is hard to
beat.

'Post-Hegelian Homesick Blues: The List Song in Postmodernity' by Steffan Hosen
Here's what it says on the back:
'Fascinating study (adapted from an acclamed doctoral thesis) which puts the
list song at the
epicentre of postmodernity, as the apotheosis of one-dimensional fractal
culture, referencing,
re-referencing and self-referencing out of control, nowhere and everywhere,
forever. It
demonstrates that, even more than 'machine music' like hip hop, the list song
has ruthlessly
exposed the modernist myth of the creative subconscious, and locates postmodern
creativity in
the act of turning on the television, the only purposeful act which remains
available to us.'
Quite how the author managed to do this much research into list songs without
once mentioning
Ian Dury's 'Reasons To Be Cheerful Pt 3' is beyond me, but a scintillating read
nevertheless.

Sarah Records 40: A Celebration

This large format, glossy book tells the amazing tale of how Sarah Records was
founded 40 years
ago on the tiny Caribbean island of Bristol, and through amazing luck, great
judgement and a
sense of adventure, has grown and prospered through 40 years and across the
whole spectrum of
popular music. Guest star forewords are contributed by Eric Clapton, Michael
Jackson and Andrew
Dean.

The Strange Tale of Litres of Pee: Indiepop Babylon, by Roberto Carro

Amazing expose of the darker side of the indiepop world. You wouldn't believe
some of the things
those indiepopsters get up to. Read about how Bjork destabilised the molecular
structure of the
other Sugarcubes' brains, using worrying glares she'd bought from Tricky.
Read how the size of Brett Anderson's head is directly proportional to the
popularity of his
band, and how he now wears hats stolen from Lego figures.
Read how Belle And Sebastian's Stevie Jackson was spotted by Dave Lee Roth
while filling in on
guitar for the BMX Bandits in LA. He accepted a job in Roth's band, but was
thrown out after
just twenty minutes for throwing a meat pie at Seymour Stein, esteemed head of
Sire Records. It
missed. Stevie wrote a song about the whole incident. It's a great song.
And it's a fantastic book, you should try to get hold of it.

Take the book back off the shelf,

Tim

P.S. Peter Miller wrote:

> PS: T!mothy Hopk!ns, you can't pull the wool over my eyes. At least not for
> more than a couple of scary seconds. What a memory you have!
>
I'm not sure what this means, but it's worrying me. Wool? Eyes? Leave me alone.

But I could be wrong. I am not being 'nostalgic'. I was not there, remember.

http://www.nodata.org/honey/sinister/mhonarc/latest/msg00019.html contains excerpts of a great post by Tim H.

Caribbean island of Bristol???

I can't believe I made fun of Don Drummond. That's like making fun of Muhammad Ali.

For the record, Tag had read the Keith Moon book.

Helter Skelter had to close their shop on Denmark Street because the rent was too high, or something. I got a book for half price during their closing down sale. It was about the Beach Boys. I hope to sell it for a vast profit one day.

I had a look through 'A Crack in the Cosmic Egg' (in Spain, of all places). My gut instincts were right. It is full of stuff about where people's heads were at when they made such and such a record.

I feel strangely violated by the fact that there is a B&S book coming out and that it appears to be 'authorised'. I suppose it might be interesting to read. It may be full of shocking revelations, such as 'Stuart David wasn't in the least bit impressed because his pen could write upside down'.

Perhaps I should send this in to Sinister instead of just posting it here. I had wanted to Report Back on my visit to Pinefox Central, but I suppose it can wait.

I'm just ppulling your pigtails really though

& did it fit well?

I think this thread should be revived as often as possible, because it makes us look like complete spanners.

i would have liked to say that since all of my posts were made in the past 3 years the best one must have been with those 3.. but i just realised it's actually now 4 and a bit years woops. will report back.

if I had to choose one person who has influenced my life more than any other at
all. I would choose myself. if I had to choose another that has changed the
course of my life. I'd have to choose someone else. if I had to keep choosing
more and more people. I might, eventually, choose macauley culkin. yes. it
is amazing, yet it is also sort of true: macauley culkin has affected my life
to an extraordinary degree.

it all began when I saw the cover of this month's FACE. or maybe it was
earlier. maybe it was when I saw 'home alone.' or maybe 'uncle buck.' or
maybe when I heard he'd got married. or when I saw 'home alone 2: lost in new
york.' or when I saw 'my girl 2' and wondered why he wasn't in it. or when I
thought about it and remembered he'd died at the end of 'my girl' or some shit.
actually. I haven't seen 'my girl 2.' have I? but when ever the fuck it
happened...it made an impact.

yes. a hero of our time. of our time. I suppose it's the only something
something something. and for all the masses he something something and what
for something he had something of something something. he is/was/something: a
hero of our time.

or a hero of his time? whatever, something.

but seriously.

M.C. [as I would call him if I were his friend and he let me call him M.C.] has
been present or a part of some of the most momentous moments in modern history.
indeed: perhaps not HIStory. yes, maybe not, but DANGEROUS-for sure. mac [as
I might call him too and yeah] appeared in michael jackson's 'black or white'
video for that song. he was a kid on some stoop someplace and rapping and
wearing a cap and I think michael was smiling at him, maybe. and I seem to
remember his mum and dad were played by, like, some famous people too? or
maybe they weren't. actually thinking about it I recall that his dad's VOICE
may have been provided by dan castelaneta and checking for how I should spell
his name I find that it's actually spelled dan castellaneta. and that I'd
almost got it right. but that I don't know how to spell the other…it is, in
fact, macaulAy. Not macaulEy. haha. but: yes. dan castellaneta didn't
provide the voice of culkin's father at all. he provided home!
r simpson's voice AS ALWAYS. but why there? no. the father was potrayed by
george wendt of NORM! cheers fame. [whatever.]. now, his mother was played by
norma jennings from 'twin peaks.' isn't that interesting?
http://us.imdb.com/Credits?0317313 you'll see that adolf hitler and wesley
snipes and magic johnston and iman also appeared. what a coup! I've
pronounced that differently there so that is sounds like a sort of an insult or
something.

yes, at the age of seventeen [maybe] macaulay married rachel miner [I think]
and then they split up a couple of years ago.

a couple of years ago too, but unconnected, perhaps, , macaulay played a guy
called michael alig in a film called 'party monster.' I saw a documentary
about the stuff that michael alig did. I saw it about five times, I think. he
died and something else. like, he killed a guy. and had some drugs. I
haven't seen that film, though. haha, checking my facts on this one too; I
find that that wasn't a couple of years ago but, actually, next year. oh well.

believe it or not: macaulay culkin is only seven months older than I am. it is
up to you.

I do know that macaulay likes sonic youth or pretends to. I do too. maybe
macaulay is a fan of belle & sebastian and their music. maybe he's lurking
here right now. reading this. etc. maybe not. but if he is…if you are,
macaulay: thank you.

love,
richard.

[this post was not about that funny film with a funny alien in it called 'mac
and me' but, rather, about the movie star and actor MACaulay culkin and about
me too. read it again, please.].

if you'd like to write to macaulay, you can reach him here:
mister macaulay culkin
124 west sixtieth street
new york city
new york state
10023

Hmm. I am sure that I have seen posts on Sinister from MarkH, ken c, PJ Miller, the bellefox (& even me) in the last few days!

---------------------------------------------------------------------
I thought about doing an experiment a while back. I think when I'm asleep I almost certainly shout out my best art. This is based on little more than a hunch, I'll grant you, but I like hunches. I'm a hunchie kinda guy. Oh, and a little twinny.

So I went to the local cheap store for whatever and bought, you know, mic and tape recorder. It ended up like this.

DREAM SLEEP ART EXPERIMENT

Day 1

Wake up with a tingle of anticipation playing on my tongue. TO SILENCE. CURSE MUH MUTE SELF. I AM AN ANACHRONISM! Ah no, have forgotten to switch tape player on.

Day 2

A strange humming invades the room when I 'playback'. Sounds exactly opposite to a keyboard whirr on the first day of sexual awakening. Of course! It is the wheat germ cycle. Nothing more. Noting more, I note.

Day 3

Only a 6 day week, for summer solstice. Traditionally, day 3 is omitted.

Day 4

Day four is JOCUND day! I am so happy I think I will puke! I can clearly make out a poem on the tape, I'm sure it must be great. I will now go away and listen more carefully.

Ok. I can't quite make it all out, but here's the gist. I shall title it 'Almost....'

Lentil, oh, startling Anna
(inaudible) abblers! Kind, and always
Just die, pulled from the
Well (inaudible) dove me
fraught in your anteater frenzy
Lazing out to sea.

It is everthing I had hoped for and more! My dilapidated mind is kindled once more. I believe that tomorrow I will naturally fill in the blanks.

Day 5

Have filled in the blanks. With more blanks. DAMN THE MOON.

Day 6

Interesting tension between silence and lack of noise. Then! Something akin to rambling ingenues playing with wambling engines. It says 'PoStAl InCreASe'. I think it is the title of a future painting. All capital letters are spoken as such. Later, my snoring has an overwhelming feel of melancholy.

Day 7

Tape player ignites mid-night. My screams as the fire approaches the guitar on the other side of the room are lost in the hubbub of water and sand. Where the sand came from, I cannot be certain. So many wasted words. I could have driven a truck through their preconceptions and prejudices, made a statement to last the ages. I eat egg to cheer my spirits.

Until,
Alasdair xx

I could have driven a truck through their preconceptions and prejudices, made a statement to last the ages.

J. Ally Prufrock

Sinister: Ode Dear
L*** A****
Wed, 18 Jun 2003 03:34:59 -0700

Stuart Murdoch

We can withstand the arms of sex
And shirt stretched tight on rounded pecs.
What sends us ladies in a trance
Is catching sight of silver pants.

*************************

Sarah Martin

Of all the places to lay one’s head -
Chaise longue, four poster, futon, bed -
The one where I’d like most to rest
Is Sarah’s well-upholstered breast.

*************************

Stevie Jackson

A country lad is Stevie J,
He tramps through fields of corn all day,
He splashes in streams and climbs hayricks
And his songs sound like the Mavericks.

*************************

Chris Geddes

Demon fingers, all a-blur,
Make the hammond organ whir.
What metier is more carefree
Than all day tickling ivory?

*************************

Richard Colburn

Mr Colburn’s drumming face
Makes him look like a mental case.
I’d rather walk across Death Valley
Than meet him down a darkened alley.

*************************

Mick Cooke

When the final trump is sounding
And our world comes to an end,
God’s musician must be astounding
To outshine our brassy friend.

*************************

Bob Kildea

“What this band needs,” said Stu one day,
“Is a gen-u-ine hearthrob.”
“I know this chap who’s new in town,”
Said Mick, “and his name’s Bob.”

Juicy Lucy

(which is saying something from me, because normally I can't get past the first paragraph of a Pinefox Sinister post)

(* - Not true, I've read everything since early last month).