can food get any worse than this

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while visiting my father in the provinces a couple of weeks ago, i met an old mate for a beer on a saturday evening. the walk home reminded me why i am glad to live in london for many reasons, not least walking past a kebab/pizza/curry/general-fast-food-designed-to-be-vomited-up-on-the-pavement-very-shortly-after-eating outlet and seeing through the window a price list highlighting the house speciality: kebizza - pizza base covered in chilli sauce and onions, layered with doner kebab meat and topped with cheese.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 30 April 2004 10:42 (twenty-two years ago)

no that sounds lovely.

what's the name of that nice bread with minced lamb thing. Might be a lebanese thing?

― Jaunty Alan (Alan), Friday, 30 April 2004 10:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Kebizza sounds great. I'd hit it.

― C J (C J), Friday, 30 April 2004 10:49 (twenty-two years ago)

that sounds absolutely gorgeous though - you know when you're (really really) drunk and you just have to go to one of these places and you just can't decide on what taste you want to wake up to the next morning whilst clinging to the toilet seat? Well they've married the best of the two! Classic!

A local Kreuzvelt-Jakov emporium sells chicken, beef, lamb and "meat" kebabs (shudder).

My friend dipped his schroeder in some chili sauce for a dare at the chicken shop the other day. he said it burned.

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 30 April 2004 10:49 (twenty-two years ago)

it was a pizza made with shitey doner kebab meat, for heaven's sake - heart disease and projectile puking all in one serving!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 30 April 2004 10:50 (twenty-two years ago)

yeh. so?

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 30 April 2004 10:52 (twenty-two years ago)

it struck me as the food of men who have had 17 pints and finally given up all hope of returning home accompanied by a member of the opposite sex (or even the same sex, for that matter, though no gay person i know would countenance eating such a thing.)

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 30 April 2004 10:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I once bought one when I was fairly drunk (although the g/f did egg me on a bit). It wasn't as nice as I thought it would be, but was still pretty good. Haven't plucked up the courage to try one sober yet though.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Friday, 30 April 2004 10:57 (twenty-two years ago)

my dad bought a pizza once in Cowes, Isle of Wight and they cooked it in the deep fat fryer.

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 30 April 2004 10:58 (twenty-two years ago)

you are all obscene - someone back me up, please!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 30 April 2004 10:58 (twenty-two years ago)

surely though, a kebizza is just a kebab that's been opened up and laid flat withslightly thicker bread? plus cheese = ace.

I whole-heartedly endorse this quality food product.

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Sounds good to me.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:02 (twenty-two years ago)

There was this wonderful stuff at the Church Of Square Grace in LIC, which served "Greek Pizza" which was pitta bread smothered in sauce, spinach, feta cheese, covered in mozarella and baked in an oven.

It was the yummiest dish ever, drunk or sober!

― Super-Kate (kate), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:03 (twenty-two years ago)

there is an unwritten law that it is a crime against morality to eat SPINACH when drunk. spinach is the least drunk food in the world, ever.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:07 (twenty-two years ago)

What about Saag Paneer? You nutjob! Spinach is great drunk food!

― Super-Kate (kate), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah I agree with Kate!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:09 (twenty-two years ago)

yEAH, MAYBE FOR gURLS.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:09 (twenty-two years ago)

(I think it just must be the drunken vegetarian equivalent of kebab or something. Though when I'm drunk, I crave chips in pitta with raw onions. Yummage!)

― Super-Kate (kate), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Ooh yeah, chips & pitta rule!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Mmmmm, I'm glad it's lunchtime, I'm off to buy junk food yay!

― smee (smee), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Stelfox, if you go to a proper Turkish restaurant they're called 'pide' and they are fantastic. Yours was apparently prepared with some improvisational thought. They also do them with merguez sausages and there are vegetarian and vegan-friendly ones. There is what looks like an MOR 'middle eastern' right next to the Book/Comic MVE and they do pide there which are amazing. Go, and contradict me later if that is possible.

Also see lahmacun.

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Donner pizzas are a beautiful example of the Christian and Muslim world working together.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I am now SOOO not happy with my hummous and veggies. :-(

― Super-Kate (kate), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:17 (twenty-two years ago)

i know what a pide and a lahmacun is suzy. i live opposite the single best lahmacun place in london. these are an entirely different matter.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:18 (twenty-two years ago)

lahmacuns are better without cheese.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:19 (twenty-two years ago)

i did not eat the kebizza - i nearly puked at the thought. it was a manufactured deep pan pizza base slathered with chilli kebab sauce raw onions BLOODY DONER MEAT and CRAP PIZZA CHEESE - this IS NOT A COSMOPOLITAN LONDON MEDIA CULINARY EXPERIENCE. also the people outside eating them were wearing pastel ralph shits tucked into jeans and loafers. not your sort of people at all.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:22 (twenty-two years ago)

"ralph shirts", that is

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I am often scared to get a burger on the way home, the chipper is a lairy place.

However I do love GARLICANDCHEESECHIPS when drunk, or occasionally when sober. They don't do wonders for the digestive system though.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:25 (twenty-two years ago)

dont make me dig up the "putting sesame chicken on leftover pizza" story

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Chips, cheese and coleslaw....mmmmmmmmmm....

― smee (smee), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:26 (twenty-two years ago)

go on jess, tell all. anyway, it will probably be a speciality chinese dish and not disgusting at all, according to suzy.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:27 (twenty-two years ago)

oh just that vomiting ensued and i vowed never to put chinese food on pizza ever again (for six months.)

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Can someone explain to me the joy of chips and cheese? It's all any cunt seems to order in a takeaway nowadays. Why?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:30 (twenty-two years ago)

it masks the taste of shite chips

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:31 (twenty-two years ago)

but you need garlic mayo aswell

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Everything needs garlic mayo.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Chips and cheese? I know nothing of this, but chips and cheese are two of my fave foods. Is it like poutine or something?

― Super-Kate (kate), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Doner Kebabs saved my ass in Germany last summer. God bless that shit.

― merican, Friday, 30 April 2004 11:32 (twenty-two years ago)

everything needs WASABI garlic mayo

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:32 (twenty-two years ago)

cheese fries are a bad idea drunk people

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:33 (twenty-two years ago)

You need to eat at 'The Yummy Bar' in Exeter. Food poisoning a speciality.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Chips and cheese? I know nothing of this, but chips and cheese are two of my fave foods. Is it like poutine or something?
-- Super-Kate (masonicboo...)

How can you not have had chips n cheese? It is THE food to eat on the way home from da pub, innit? There are many variations...chips n cheese, chips, cheese n coleslaw, chips,cheese and garlic stuff, chips, cheese n meat(ie kebab meat), chips, cheese n sauce (ie kebab sauce) I could go on....

― smee (smee), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I need to move to Scotland. Stat.

There's chips and curry sauce, but often I have to fight just to get chips and raw onions! Chips and chese and coleslaw sounds like my wildest dream of perfect drunken postpub food!

― Super-Kate (kate), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I see your chips and cheese, and raise you one order of gravy fries.

Double down?

― merican, Friday, 30 April 2004 11:38 (twenty-two years ago)

chips and cheese and curry is surprisingly good.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:38 (twenty-two years ago)

now, poutine is the most superlative drunk food ever. god bless canada.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:39 (twenty-two years ago)

poitin

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:40 (twenty-two years ago)

that's superlative for getting drunk.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:41 (twenty-two years ago)

christ, between indian food and gravy fries, you people are killing me today.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Gravy fries with cheese, known north of the border as Poutine = THE BEST FOOD EVER INVENTED BY MANKIND!!!

And I am still eating yucky raw veggies with hummous and wishing I was eating poutine instead. :-(

― Super-Kate (kate), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I found curry flavored Pringle's chips in Iceland. They werent bad at all. I like how europeans call our Dorito's "Cool Ranch" ==> "Cool American".

― merican, Friday, 30 April 2004 11:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I am so hungry now.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:44 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah i dont think any indian places are open at 8:30 here

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I know - I want chips and cheese and coleslaw but I fear it may not give quite the same satisfaction when sober...

― smee (smee), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:45 (twenty-two years ago)

There's a pub down the road from my house which serves Poutine. I could GET DRUNK AND EAT POUTINE AT THE SAME TIME!!! It's on the walk home, as well. Mmmmmmm.

― Super-Kate (kate), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:46 (twenty-two years ago)

where's that kate? in london? do they use proper cheese curds? if so meet me for a beer, please!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Can you explain how to correctly pronounce this 'poutine'?

pow-teen?
poo-ten?

― merican, Friday, 30 April 2004 11:47 (twenty-two years ago)

fries, cheese curds, gravy.
heaven.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:48 (twenty-two years ago)

waaaaaah i want curry fries from the pommes frites place on second avenue!

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:48 (twenty-two years ago)

i pronounce it "poo-TEEN"

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:49 (twenty-two years ago)

It's made by Canadians. The cheese seems pretty non-curdy, but it's n'onion gravy. The Lyceum, just where Waterloo Bridge meets the Strand. (I think that's the name of it...)

I'll so meet you for a pint if you want to get some poutine! I'm looking for an excuse!

― Super-Kate (kate), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Soooo hungry.... *drools*

― smee (smee), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:50 (twenty-two years ago)

i did once make a surprisingly successful fusion pizza.
pureed apples poached in red wine with cinnamon, topped with a mix of mozzarella and marscapone

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:52 (twenty-two years ago)

kate, seriously mail me at [email protected] (my log-in mail address is no loger working), i'd LOVE to go for poutine, i didn't think you could get in anywhere in the uk.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Pudding pizza!

― C J (C J), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I shall have chicken jalfrezi with garlic&coriander naan for tea, followed by chocolate cheesecake.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:56 (twenty-two years ago)

oh you bastards!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:57 (twenty-two years ago)

a place near my parents makes apple pizza with lots of cinnamon and havaarti. i wouldn't have thought of that, but it's delicious.
i'm with you on the kebizza, dave. it sounds absolutely disgusting.

― lauren (laurenp), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I have just realised that Friday night before a bank holiday is probably not the best time to go to a West End theatrepub. But I've emailed you the details, Dave, let me know if and when!

― Super-Kate (kate), Friday, 30 April 2004 12:01 (twenty-two years ago)

thank you lauren, a voice of sanity at last. yeah the dessert pizza is amazing. i improvised it for people when i was doing dinner for 10 people, making poached apples for dessert, overcooked them and had nothing else, so went on an experimetal air. best made as little minipizzas and the marscapone really works with it.

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 30 April 2004 12:03 (twenty-two years ago)

okay kate i'll check my schedule 4 the weekend and if i can do it now-ish, i'll let you know. if not, then we'll have to make a date for the very near future!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 30 April 2004 12:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Cool! (Though I've already just taken my lunch so if it's later today, it will have to be after 6pm.)

― Super-Kate (kate), Friday, 30 April 2004 12:06 (twenty-two years ago)

my dad bought a pizza once in Cowes, Isle of Wight and they cooked it in the deep fat fryer.

they makes pizza's this way in glasgow chip shops too, i thought it was the only place.

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 30 April 2004 12:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Dude, that's how they make them at Pizza Hut. How else do you think the lardy goodness gets in?

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Friday, 30 April 2004 12:15 (twenty-two years ago)

It is your WEEEN-DOW to weightgain!

― Super-Kate (kate), Friday, 30 April 2004 12:15 (twenty-two years ago)

i think we need to revive dr strongo's nouvelle cuisine thread, if only i could find it

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 30 April 2004 12:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I've mentioned this before, but it's worth bringing up again: The hilarious saga of the Swanson All-Day Breakfast, featuring 231% of your RDA of cholesterol.

― m.e.a. (m.e.a.), Friday, 30 April 2004 12:54 (twenty-two years ago)

dr. strongo's neuvo cuisine

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 30 April 2004 13:00 (twenty-two years ago)

The thread of doom!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 30 April 2004 13:02 (twenty-two years ago)

six years pass...

http://foodbeast.com/content/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/foodbeast_carls_footlong.jpg
the wait for the foot long double down will be painful

― colnagl (cozen), Wednesday, 14 July 2010 21:26 (fifteen years ago)

WHAT

― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Wednesday, 14 July 2010 21:32 (fifteen years ago)

the wait for the foot long double down will be painful

Is this a GI tract assessment?

― Grand amiral de la marine des licornes (Michael White), Wednesday, 14 July 2010 21:33 (fifteen years ago)

what happened to stelfox?

― homosexual II, Wednesday, 14 July 2010 21:33 (fifteen years ago)

I approve of this idea

― iatee, Wednesday, 14 July 2010 21:35 (fifteen years ago)

so much mechanically separated meat product in one place

― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Wednesday, 14 July 2010 21:35 (fifteen years ago)

kebizza - pizza base covered in chilli sauce and onions, layered with doner kebab meat and topped with cheese.

I HAD THIS RECENTLY

it was a mistake

― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Wednesday, 14 July 2010 21:36 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jbcurio/4322202381/in/pool-97769629@N00

― I'm never gonna do it without the Lex on (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 14 July 2010 21:37 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jbcurio/4322202381/in/pool-97769629@N00

― I'm never gonna do it without the Lex on (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 14 July 2010 21:37 (fifteen years ago)

Orange Mallow Yam Yums:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jbcurio/3618748212/in/pool-97769629@N00

― I'm never gonna do it without the Lex on (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 14 July 2010 21:41 (fifteen years ago)

I think I am gonna go barf now.

― Nathalie (stevienixed), Wednesday, 14 July 2010 22:31 (fifteen years ago)

That footlong cheeseburger: NO CHEEZEWHIZ, NO CREDIBILITY.

Also: barf.

― VegemiteGrrrl, Wednesday, 14 July 2010 23:18 (fifteen years ago)

burger king has a similar monstrosity only available in singapore, iirc

― hobbes, Wednesday, 14 July 2010 23:20 (fifteen years ago)

http://i33.tinypic.com/69hkkm.jpg

meh only 7"

― hobbes, Wednesday, 14 July 2010 23:23 (fifteen years ago)

all of this talk of chips and gravy makes me want to eat chip shop scallops again. It must be, what, 15 years?

― kraudive, Wednesday, 14 July 2010 23:59 (fifteen years ago)

http://markonefoods.com/images/hm_main.jpg

― rent, Thursday, 15 July 2010 00:05 (fifteen years ago)

Candwich is esp. funny (to me) bcz an ass from Utah made it.

― could be a bad day for (Abbott), Thursday, 15 July 2010 00:08 (fifteen years ago)

what the actual hell

― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Thursday, 15 July 2010 00:09 (fifteen years ago)

Candwich

― could be a bad day for (Abbott), Thursday, 15 July 2010 00:10 (fifteen years ago)

I am more viscerally appalled by the foot-long cheeseburger, however.

― could be a bad day for (Abbott), Thursday, 15 July 2010 00:10 (fifteen years ago)

french...toast...in...a can. for drinking. i am really straining to process this.

― makes da cool chewbaccas in pain sounds STAR WARS (arby's), Thursday, 15 July 2010 00:14 (fifteen years ago)

look when the zombiepocalypse comes I know whose shelter I'll be in and here's a hint it won't be the shelter of the dude who was skeptical of the candwich

― like a ◴ ◷ ◶ (dyao), Thursday, 15 July 2010 00:19 (fifteen years ago)

:(((((((((

― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Thursday, 15 July 2010 00:33 (fifteen years ago)

"...the living will envy the dead..."

― RIP la petite mort (acoleuthic), Thursday, 15 July 2010 00:38 (fifteen years ago)

the dead will drink the living, from cans

― could be a bad day for (Abbott), Thursday, 15 July 2010 00:39 (fifteen years ago)

having a bomb shelter all to yourself will be very luxurious dyao

― makes da cool chewbaccas in pain sounds STAR WARS (arby's), Thursday, 15 July 2010 00:55 (fifteen years ago)

dyao and Travis L. Wright together, drinking Candwich & eating crow

― could be a bad day for (Abbott), Thursday, 15 July 2010 01:00 (fifteen years ago)

when the zombie hoards are beating down my blast doors I will be proud to be the last person on this earth to enjoy the taste of French Toast

― like a ◴ ◷ ◶ (dyao), Thursday, 15 July 2010 01:09 (fifteen years ago)

I'll be hiding in the icecream factory bc zombies hate cold...have fun in your zombiebait shelter with your Candwich, Dyao.

― VegemiteGrrrl, Thursday, 15 July 2010 01:21 (fifteen years ago)

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