Worst TV adverts of the moment

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There was another thread about crap TV ads before this I think, but that was about a year ago, and there are many many new crap ads on the telly now. So let us complain about them.

Bizarre thing for one of those play kitchens for kids - entire advert has two young girls demonstrating what can be done with it, only that the soundtrack has two women dubbed on it saying stuff like "Oh yes, this microwave will really make her jealous!" and "Ha ha, this superb grill will really annoy her, she doesn't have anything like that at her home!". So parents should buy this toy for their kid because it'll one-up all of their kid's poorer friends?
Despicable thing for Gillette. Two standard off the peg blokes watch cheesy Gillette advert in a living room (post-modern!). They complain about how rubbish said advert is, and at the end of it, one of them go, "It's good though, isn't it?" GNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Why don't they just get one of the ad men to come on and go "We think you're all fucking idiots, HAHAHAHAHA!"?
Weird and annoying ad for baby doll with magnets in its limbs or something. I choose this for the incredibly irritating brat on the soundtrack going "bleep bleep" for NO REASON AT ALL.

― Chris Lyons, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

New answers right after this break...

― Chris Lyons, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Anything using 9/11 and after to sell products via 'aren't we *wonderful* to help those who need it' approaches.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I've thought of starting this thread myself since there are so many lame ads on but of course all examples have slipped my mind now. damn food.

― Samantha, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Choices Direct, of course.

― Robin Carmody, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I hate the ad where the kid is sitting on the toilet, and realises he's making a bit of a stink and goes "ah mum got that new press thing"...that releases a good smell.

I also dislkie the tooth paste ad that uses MOP's 'cold as ice' and then has the slogan "cool as ice'...I always think, why use that song then? I'm very fussy.

After a night's TV viewing, I shall garnish you with more examples.

― james, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Where there's blame, there's a claim.

― RickyT, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

WICKEEEEED!! SOOOORRRRTEEEED!! BANGIIIIINNN!! BACK TO THE OLD SKOOOOOOOOL!! (cue Yazz.)

Alternately, that car ad where the teacher yaks on about how she will be there for the kids, doctors deliver babies ect... because Something Inside Is So Strong. So buy a fucking car.

― Al, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

All the Red Bull ads. Every single one.

― Samantha, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

the FedEx one where they poach the ambulance man to work for them is pretty tasteless. i presume it was made for the US originally, where they don't have the NHS which needs all the help it can get

― michael, Wednesday, 21 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I don't like the Orange one with Jason Euell - eventhough he is scoring and celebrating against Arsenal. I hope everybody who watched the Arsenal v Charlton match said the same thing when he scored, namely "I wonder if he's going to run out of the ground and go and find his mate?"

― Jonnie, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I really hate that one for Ocean Finance with the smug quiz-show host asking the contestants, "For ten points, tell me a reason why somebody might be.....refused....a loan?" I find it really irritating the way that the word "Advertisement" appears on the screen in the top left hand corner throughout...as if there would ever be a quiz show with questions about loans! Aaargh!

― MarkH, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

The Head and Shoulders advert where the ad agency honestly think the shampoo buying public are going to be duped into believing they're talking about infidelity and shagging when really they're speaking about shampoo. I mean, since when has anyone been "seduced by the novelty" of an alternative hair product? Come on!

The whole Shampoo = sex thing is utterly cringeworthy. The only "urge" I get during the Herbal range ad is to dive for the off button on the TV remote.

[And I wish Jason Euell HAD ran out of the stadium on Wednesday - I would have settled for 4:3]

― Trevor, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

The Halifax one where the woman does a doctored version of 'Livin' la vida loca' *shudders*

― Will, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

The two blokes watching a Nivea ad in the Nivea ad! Who on earth came up with this? And who on earth paid them to come up with this? Also, there's first love and there's Muller love. The guy eats his yoghurt with a polaroid fer crissakes. Can you imagine the chemical- induced madness that must surely ensue?

Somebody on the best ads thread mentioned the Lupo ads, but the big flashing face that pops up every time you click on *anything* at nme.com is really, really, really, really, really, really, really annoying. Grrr!

― Madchen, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

The one that gets my goateee is the man who has hung up about ten blue shirts on the clothesline, then reaches into the basket for another blue shirt an sais it's his favorite.Lol He's nuttier than me!!!! lol Gale

― Gale Deslongchamps, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Vodafone. The Dandy Warhols. That smug faced curmudgeon bloke who wandered about the desert before they took the next step into hellishness. The crusties. Their adverts when sponsoring POP IDOL with ha ha look it is HAMPSTERS making things BEEP (actually sounds okay) but this is NOT okay when it is advertising their cnutish BRAND NAME WEBSITE of vizzaavviitytytutwankwankwankwankOHPLEASE. They are DOT COMMUNISTS.

Also, Argos.

The Virgin Mobile advert with Nicole Appleton photocopying her knickers is also rather shit but then again they have ADAM AND JOE (!!!!) on another advert so perhaps I'll have to sign up with them. I hate Vodafone. Bastards bastards bastards. Adverts are SO GREAT though, I love adverts. They are often better than the telly.

― Sarah, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Hi Sarah! Adverts are better than the programmes that frame them because more time and money went on them!

― Wil, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Sponsorship idents: all shit. I only ever watch commercial TV on a saturday morning so that is all I can talk of BUT two stand out for me as Pete can testify:

1. Argos christmas ad using Slade and the cheapest, shittest, most fucking awful bogus product montage ever. Totally moronic, makes all the goods look like the heap of crap they are - when that fucking cut- out Santa comes by on his skis it might as well be Jive Bunny. There's a real trend lately for mass-market store ads to be this low- rent and vile, probably because the ad people all want to work on high-budget drinks brands and actually lavishing any skills on an ad aimed at the proles would be *so* uncool. Or of course it might be that the focus groups saw the ad and wuvved it, grr.

2. Harry Potter computer game - "FOOTAGE NOT IN GAME" i.e. the game itself has graphics that would shame an Oric. Not in itself a terrible ad but seen five times an hour it gets wearying.

Also! "I'd rather have a bowl of caramelflavouredcocopops" and the Olly the Octopus choosing his cereal are vile, the latter because it is untrue - every child knows which are the nice cereals in a variety pack and it's simply a matter of getting to them first, it's not a dilemma at all you eight-limbed sea bastard.

― Tom, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

'You're every one to one you've ever had' DIE GOLDFRAPP DIE.

― alext, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I get so depressed when I watch ads on the smaller channels like ITV2 - they are invariably all for loans for sad, stupid people with no jobs and no money, somehow implying that rather than ending up with even less money and self-esteem, taking out a loan is the key to happiness! Celebs who do voice overs for these kind of ads (and I know the bloke who does that fucking blue telephone - how could he stoop so low?) are, IMHO, worse than those who advertise MacDonalds, Starbucks, any of the mega-corporate Incs that people seem to get so worked up about.

As for the Nivea "you know, I might buy some" ad, you can gain some kind of succour by imaging what he's going to be getting for Christmas from all his hilarious mates...

― Mark C, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

oh the parade is offering me many bad ads. the lottery one with a parade of people singing the barenaked ladies' 'if i had a million dollars' is a v bad one.

BUT WAIT NOW THERE IS ONE FOR AMERICA WITH THAT ENRIQUE IGLESIAS HERO SONG. oh no wait it's for jeep! jeep LIBERTY, at that!

― maura, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

They have a gospel choir in the Lottery ad. Morons should read the bible .

― anthony, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I have sky, there's no need to watch adverts.

― chris, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Like Samantha, I'm not very good at remembering the ads I hate. I will put a pen and pad by the TV and make a note.

Can I just say that I think the Argos ads are totally wicked.

― Nick, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

That fuckin coke ad. I mentioned it before. The one where the guy is on the train and all his "mates" are asleep and he's drinking a can of coke, and he says "it was the best night of my life". "I was gonna miss these guys". And the way he says "these guys" like as if theres a coloured history, and they're some bunch of mad tossers who do crazy stuff but despite it all he was going to miss them. Oh the things they do! Falling asleep on trains, AND drinking coke.

Then at the end of the ad there's the final insult, that annoying high pitched "life tastes good coca cola" jingle. It reminds me of those films where one corporation runs the radio stations and keeps pumping out muzak to keep people happy. it's ok everyone, LIFE TASTES GOOD!!! and you're all allowed to try it!

― Ronan, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

The Argos ads are pitched perfectly at target market = 'good' ads, even though I personally dislike them.

― Will, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Those Virgin ads for executive class flying or whatever it was were truly shit.

― Jonnie, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Oh yeah - I'm surprised no one has mentioned the horror of the Dorritos 'friends' adverts yet. Has that reached Ferrero Rocher/Alanis Morisette levels of flogged to deathness or something?

― Nick, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I make conscious efforts not to buy things if I think the ads are stupid. though I fail.

― Ronan, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

The smug-faced wankism that is Archers. Stop fucking winking at me you bastard I hate you and will punch you, and oh hahaha isn't it so funny that the girl stays out later than him because she drinks Archers hahaha I bet her and the Lambrini girls love each other the stupid fucking wenches.

― emil.y, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Did you say urge? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

― Alan Trewartha, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

george foreman's imac grillpan thing, WHAT THE FUCK IS ThAT!!!! "it's like a grill pan", okay, "it's ridged so you don't get as much fat in your food" riiiight "it's got a pretty coloured lid and it cooks both sides at once" okaaaaaaaaaay "george foreman say's it's really GRATE" WTF, GEORGE FOREMAN, cognitive dissonance, brain MEEEELLLLLTTTIIIINNNGG....

― carsmilesteve, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

the RETURN OF THE GRILL-SHILL!!

― mark s, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

1 Bacardi Breezer. It is undignified for a cat to be seen behaving like a cheap male nightclub smoothie.

2 The fabric conditioner one where the people are made out of - duh - fabric. It is disturbing to look at 'people' made out of fabric, and in fact they look horribly disfigured, like burns victims or people with hypothermia.

― Ellie, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

i mean GRILL SHILLAZ !!!

― mark s, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I can't stand those crappy Dani Behr McDonalds Premiere advert. They make me want to hurt Dani Behr more than usual.

(I really like those Argos adverts - they cool)

― jamesmichaelward, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

There is this one ad wherein a teenager pretends to be Fred Durst from Limp Bizkit. Urgh....

― helen fordsdale, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

There is this one ad wherein a teenager pretends to be Fred Durst from Limp Bizkit. Urgh....

Blimey, isn't it usually the other way round?

― jamesmichaelward, Thursday, 22 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

LAMBRINI GIRLS ARGH.

― Tom, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

(though they oppress me from posters not the telly)

― Tom, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Another hated poster ad - what do these people have in common they all drink portugese wine (or something, I do not know what horrible drink they all drink all I know is that it's yet another poster with Tony Parsons gazing at me, best selling author yes)

― Tom, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

That German wine ad is shit as well. The one with that ex-goth lass who now is a city worker of some description and has noticed the wine changing with her. I am also dismayed by by the cheesiness of that Hardys ad with the bottle making an impression on the car, hur-hur- hur. Are all wine adverts rubbish by law or something? I can't think of a single good one off the top of my head.

― RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Ah now whot about the S. African wines one dominating the Northern/Victoria lines? With the funny reptile lying back in a tshirt with the S.African flag on it? Ha ha that is funny ha ha ha fetch me a bottle! As long as I can smash it OVER MY OWN HEAD argh. Tube adverts surely don't count. I still want to know why they are all so crap for car insurance (if yer on the tube = good chance you don't drive and not target demographic SURELY) and LET YER BODY KNOW WHEN TO CONCIEVE helff fads. Sheesh.

― Sarah, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I have never seen a wine ad except 'le francais adore Le Piat D'or' which I doubt even counts as wine. Is wine advertising targeted at the metropolis, or have I missed my demographic?

― Ellie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

"In France it's part of the language" => very very very angry RickyT shouting at television.

― RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Spitfire Ale is even worse though.

Wine ads infest the London Underground system. That and ads for ten- week 'philosophy' courses.

― Tom, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

'I AM DRUG FREE' screams trophy winning golfer.

― Will, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Are any of the common ads on the tube any good? Travel insurance = shit, cheap phone calls = shit, wellwoman pills = very smug detoxified woman therefore shit, cartoon strip style loan ads = even shitter, car insurance ads = dreadful with particular brickbats going to Diamond (car insurance for girls NOT men) and Admiral (Tim and whatserface 'soap opera' type affair only the fuckers can't even be bothered to use the same models from episode to episode) and as pointed out above why do I want car insurance when I'm on the sodding TRAIN anyway?

Must. Calm. Down.

― RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

'Scientology helped me become a successful photographer', yes yes but it also made you look like Greg Evigan.

― RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

'Sorry John, try as hard as you like, Diamond is only for women'

John is a c**t.

― Will, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I am a Planet Talker. It is you who are mad.

― Tom, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

"You know what I'm like with shoes! Anyway, today's paaaaaaaaaaaaayday." Lock the bitch up.

― Jonnie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I've just remembered I have to turn away when that drink ad with the piano playing dog appears. It really freaks me out. I hate that dog.

Lambrini girls are classic. As David Bell, chief executive of Cheetham Bell JWT, which devised the campaign said:

"It is a drink for salt-of-the-earth girls to drink before they go out, maybe while chatting or putting their make-up on. While they do that, they probably crack jokes about their boyfriends. I've never heard of any men being offended by these ads. They're quite clearly just a bit of fun.'

Who'd have thought that one day computers would allow us to watch adverts at work

― Nick, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

"At the link it's eeeezzeeee...." Interminably dull. Young lady trades in her "embarassing mobile phone" cuz it doesn't play the latest blingin' tunes, to the accompaniment of the blandest sub-Shed Seven dirge imaginable.

Millions of years of evolution and THIS is what they expect us to aspire to.

― Trevor, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

'You don't have to be wild and wacky to enjoy Lambrini, but it helps!"
You don't have to be wild and wacky at all! JUST GO AWAY.

― will, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

The anthropomorphized dog works on teh same principle as the Breezer cat. I mind less about the dog because dogs have less dignity to be besmirched. It's also the same principle as those creepy animated babies who discuss personal finance.

― Ellie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

And the dog doesn't cheer Arsenal on in a penalty shoot out. Oooh, I hate that cat.

― Jonnie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I was going to mention that unbelievably smug couple on the car insurance adverts I loathe them and don't care about their stupid fictional relationship dramas. If they really had such a petrfect relationship surely they would talk about something else other than bloody car insurance? Click here and fly to Canada - oh fine, just need a spare £600 quid too at their prices. And on the escalators: Lancome free gift. Lancome free gift. Lancome free gift. Lancome free gift. It's Clinique bonous time! It's Clinique bonous time! It's Clinique bonous time! It's Clinique bonous time! And all TV Asda adverts.

― Anna, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I flew to Canada (Toronto) to for £224 return with that company so I think they're ace.

― Jonnie, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Anna - that AA couple aren't smug! They're miserable and fractious and a chilling emblem of our times.

I LOVE the Link advert, but I'm prepared to accept it's for similar "ah - a good old fashioned cheery crappy ad" reasons as my fondness for the never updated Argos campaign.

creepy animated babies who discuss personal finance.

Ooh yes - that's the original 'I have to change channels cause this makes me nauseous' ad. Apparently Madchen's gran loves it cause it reminds her of Madchen's dad at a similar age.

― Nick, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

so am i weird for collecting the admiral insurance ads from the tube. bless them, they saved £££s.

― Alan Trewartha, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

"I LOVE the Link advert"

Pervert.

Actually, this reminds me of a girl I used to know who said she loved dentist drills.

― Trevor, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Boddingtons ones with the transgender cow on the pull. AAAAAGH.

Any ad where the magic of Animatronics allows toddlers or animals to SPEAK. GRRRRRR!

Any ad on Channel 5 which shows exactly what media buyers think of the viewers, eg debt ones, dial LAWYERS ones, old folks' maladies and life insurance ones. All the most awfyul American imports of the ages in one break from Family Affairs omnibus when I am hung over and de-motivated. SCREEEEEE!

― suzy, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Stupid Currys advert where they deliver a new telly to the woman who used to be Viv's mate on Emmerdale on a SUNDAY, shock horror, while her useless hubby is asleep in an armchair, and the delivery men say 'shall we take the old thing away' and she says 'no let him sleep it is Sunday after all'.

God I hate that it is SO CONTRIVED who would say 'shall I take the old thing away' you'd say 'shall I take the old one / old telly away'. Only then of course the hilarious punchline wouldn't work.

― Emma, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Boddingtons transgender cow = GRATE esp. first ep when girl-girl fellatio-facial is somehow implied k-blimey oreillyXoR who approved THAT!!

― mark s, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I'm sort of chums with the bloke in the new Wrigleys adverts - the one who smashes sandwiches and cream cakes with a massive packet of Orbit or whatever. These ads = classic or dud? particularly compared to the meta-cheesy "she's love your onion breath" ads of youre?

― Mark C, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

They remind me of the last series of Takeover TV = they are rather poor.

― RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

God I hate that it is SO CONTRIVED who would say 'shall I take the old thing away' you'd say 'shall I take the old one / old telly away'. Only then of course the hilarious punchline wouldn't work.

There are many ambiguous things they could ask that would be better than 'shall I take the old thing away?'. How about 'shall I take this old pile of shit away?' or 'this isn't much use to you know - shall I take it away?' or 'do you want me to get rid of your husband?' ('husband' is slang for TV set in Berkshire)

― Nick, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

They're absolute dud Mark. They're obviously based on Trigger Happy TV: problem here being that most people who watched that I would think are not the type of people who would go "Oh this reminds me a bit of something I like therefore I will buy it" so Orbit = WRONG! I also hate that ICE advert where the chap goes through an airport security thing and gets a lady guard to strip him down URGH. Please. Smug self-satisfied wankXoR. Oh god I can go home in ten minutes. Pleeeeeeease hurry up. I shall keep an eye out for Mark @ Embankment tube also but considering he has just posted I thinks I will probably not be seeing him there.

― Sarah, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Aargh, thinko. I meant Trigger Happy not Takeover above.

― RickyT, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

most people who watched that I would think are not the type of people who would go "Oh this reminds me a bit of something I like therefore I will buy it"
I think you are deliberately misunderstanding the process by which advertising works.

― Nick, Friday, 23 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

McDonalds ad...grumpy sister comes in, "what's wrong?" asks little brother..."nothing"...little brother raids money box, takes out his LAST £2!...Goes to McDonalds and buys her a happy meal.

What kinda of messed up message is this? Blowing your last two quid on a happy meal for someone else? I mean the kid could have at least had got his dad to pay for it! (you get the thanks without incurring financial hardship = crafty!)

― james, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

"Mervyn's-it begins with me!" Die, Mervyn's Lady, die!

― Arthur, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

The new one for Chrysler using "the Universal" (one of the only truly lovely Blur songs! Curse Kojack Albarn and his Freddy Krueger dreams of world domination). It shows these Chrysler execs (designers, I suppose) getting all misty eyed about the thought of their beloved children, the cars, having to go out into the cruel world without them (hence the "Just Let Them Go" refrain from the song).

Chrysler is one of company's clients, and believe me the only thing any of them would ever get misty eyed about is the idea of spending an extra dime. If they could make a crappy car out of nerf and sell it for a profit they would.

Also, Maura's Chrysler ad is really bad as well. Someone shoot their ad agency.

I don't have anything against Chrysler really, but their commercials are bad. BMW are 100 times worse to deal with as a client but their commercials are clever.

― Nicole, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Yes! I hate that Chrysler one too. I think that they *should* build that NERF car tho.

― Kim, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Nerf is kewl, but what I meant is something that is cheap to manufacture and will probably come apart pretty easily. Kind of like that old "Adobe Car" skit on Saturday Night Live.

― Nicole, Sunday, 25 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Oh god, that "Universal" ad. I did randomly stumble across that one and I LARFED. Damon being the good communist that he is, I'm sure he turned over the money for the cause. Or did he stop being a communist?

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 26 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

That hair plug fund money has to be generated somehow.

― Nicole, Monday, 26 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Nicole :
What do you do ?

― anthonyeaston, Monday, 26 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

The Jeep ad which has it driving up and down the statue of liberty while some patriotic song plays in the background. could they be anymore obvious with their (bad) exploitation of current events?

― Samantha, Wednesday, 28 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

The ad whick compares car swapping to wife swapping. Amazingly dirty & disturbing for network tv.

― Sterling Clover, Wednesday, 28 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

one year passes...

That 'Hard nosed businessman' Stephen Fry narrated Orange campaign. Utterly crass, stretched from an idea with no mileage in it whatsoever. What were they thinking?

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 16:03 (twenty-one years ago) link

Aw Nick you are too hard! I think that one's quite funny - I like the guy bossing his son around on the beach.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 16:10 (twenty-one years ago) link

his son should have a little metal nose.

― RJG (RJG), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 16:11 (twenty-one years ago) link

But how does the steel-nosed businessman supposed to appeal to us or fit in with anything they are trying to convey about Orange?

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 16:13 (twenty-one years ago) link

So...are you gellin'?

Are you gellin' like a felon?

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 16:21 (twenty-one years ago) link

does = is

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 16:32 (twenty-one years ago) link

S'all about being available all the time, N. And being ordered. And cutting costs. It will appeal to your average city wanker type. I know - I work with enough of them.

― SittingPretty (sittingpretty), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 16:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

The cunts in the Direct line ad win this every time. There relationship must be the most sexless, depressing, denial-laden relationship ever.

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 17:06 (twenty-one years ago) link

But yr city wanker type doesn't want to be cuddly-caricatured by sodding Stephen Fry, surely? And the rest of us just think 'Errgh - mobile phones are for wankers after all. We were right in 1987.'.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 9 April 2003 17:14 (twenty-one years ago) link

eleven months pass...

the new 'whens-a your-a Dolmio day?' featuring those actually quite well made puppets...backward step in Anglo-Italin relations or a cuddly tribute to the nuances of our pasta-munching cousins?

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 23 March 2004 15:28 (twenty years ago) link

six months pass...

So yeah, apart from the Clairol Fruit Essences one with the crappy monkeys, the one I have to turn over for at the moment is the '"I wish I were a blue whale" Strongbow one. Does anyone else find it excruciating. That man is so objectionable and the whole concept of the ad is so shit. Strongbow ads are always rubbish. I hate the world of cider drinkers they depict.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 09:32 (nineteen years ago) link

At the moment the Toucan "last phone call" ads are driving me bonkers. Cause they show them CONSTANTLY during CSI.

― Danger Whore (kate), Friday, 1 October 2004 09:34 (nineteen years ago) link

The Clairol one is crap because it starts off as a generic "let's (almost) show a nice looking woman's tits" advert and ends with this jarring Godardian jumpcut to a pair of unfunny monkeys

― Jedermann sein eigener Fussball (Dada), Friday, 1 October 2004 09:35 (nineteen years ago) link

Those fucking adverts with Craig Thingy from the Royle Family - where he does the "I ran into an old friend" joke - a joke which was actually discovered in Tutankhamun's tomb except there it was about chariots. And that gormless Terry Fuckwit routine he does is almost as ancient.

― Jedermann sein eigener Fussball (Dada), Friday, 1 October 2004 09:38 (nineteen years ago) link

Hard to think of a really atrociously bad current advert which doesn't involve Johnny Vaughan or Dougie Donnelly.

― Marcello Carlin, Friday, 1 October 2004 09:44 (nineteen years ago) link

"Maybe it's because I'm a drug dealer
That I've got a career in the media"

― Jedermann sein eigener Fussball (Dada), Friday, 1 October 2004 09:45 (nineteen years ago) link

the latest abhorrent ad trend: slogans that are meant to sound like realpeoplespeak ("i'm lovin' it"*; "you should see what's on hgtv"**; "very funny"***; "you should go"****). ugh, stop trying to relate! i hate you.

*mcdonald's
**hgtv (home & garden television)
***tbs (the turner superstation)
****t.j. maxx

― pfeffernuesse (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 1 October 2004 09:51 (nineteen years ago) link

also, dunno if it's just a local thing, but the "man on the street"-style 1-800-MATTRESS commercial with the trio of accenty longislandistas singing the jingle off-key... it's gotta go.

― pfeffernuesse (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 1 October 2004 09:57 (nineteen years ago) link

the...lenny...kravitz...gap...ad...

― Marcello Carlin, Friday, 1 October 2004 09:58 (nineteen years ago) link

"they're just a kid... eatin' a drumstick... like YOU used to be."

― pfeffernuesse (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 1 October 2004 10:02 (nineteen years ago) link

"your website would be the bomb if the gecko did the robot."

― pfeffernuesse (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 1 October 2004 10:05 (nineteen years ago) link

Marcello so on the money he should be the queen. And Sarah Jessica Fucking Horsefaced Harpy Parker as well! Infamy!

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 1 October 2004 10:39 (nineteen years ago) link

Also, Smirnoff ice or whatever and their lyriquid perfection shit. Only gaked-up ad wankers could actually watch the Niccan Micra spafe abomination and think "yeah, let's rip that off".

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 1 October 2004 10:42 (nineteen years ago) link

"di saronno on the rocks." (woman gives come-hither look to metrosexual bartender.)

"di saronno on the rocks." (metrosexual bartender gives come-fuck-me look to woman.)

― pfeffernuesse (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 1 October 2004 10:52 (nineteen years ago) link

Quote. Me. Happy.

― Jedermann sein eigener Fussball (Dada), Friday, 1 October 2004 10:53 (nineteen years ago) link

is that ridiculous Head & Shoulders advert where the man won't let his gf use his manky cheap dandruff shampoo still showing?

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 10:58 (nineteen years ago) link

The man in that advert is *so* in-the-closet.

"She even steals my rubber duckie ... but there's one thing I won't let her touch. Some things are just made for a man."

(plus, he looks like Will Young)

― caitlin (caitlin), Friday, 1 October 2004 10:59 (nineteen years ago) link

He's in another advert too, not as crap but still crap

― Jedermann sein eigener Fussball (Dada), Friday, 1 October 2004 11:00 (nineteen years ago) link

"your website would be the bomb if the gecko did the robot."

But thats a good commercial.

― Mari Schwarz, Friday, 1 October 2004 11:01 (nineteen years ago) link

when are they going to do a new 'friendly bacteria' advert - is the geek going to get in her pants?

― Brigadier Rainham Steele, Mrs (blueski), Friday, 1 October 2004 12:12 (nineteen years ago) link

Will she use the friendly bacteria as a homemade thrush cure first? ;-)

― Danger Whore (kate), Friday, 1 October 2004 12:14 (nineteen years ago) link

why the wink?

― Brigadier Rainham Steele, Mrs (blueski), Friday, 1 October 2004 12:37 (nineteen years ago) link

Because I am making a funny.

― Danger Whore (kate), Friday, 1 October 2004 12:38 (nineteen years ago) link

is the gecko ad referenced a geico ad? those are the only ads on tv I like!

still, that sprint or whatever ad, "this is the story about my life made by me" video phone crooked mouthed girl partying with her friends and getting it on with keanu-lite. makes me violent.

― kyle (akmonday), Friday, 1 October 2004 12:44 (nineteen years ago) link

(a friend of mine has just auditioned for the next run of "friendly bacteria" ads - if she gets the gig she'll be bacteria-girl's best friend. So have no fear, Bacteria-man will be back!)

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 1 October 2004 13:11 (nineteen years ago) link

Rock-ET! Rock-ET!

― Wooden (Wooden), Friday, 1 October 2004 13:13 (nineteen years ago) link

RADDICCIO RADDICCIO RADDICCIO!!!

You're mad, that advert is aceness incarnate.

― Danger Whore (kate), Friday, 1 October 2004 13:13 (nineteen years ago) link

Those 'frizee frizee' guys are so gay.

― Wooden (Wooden), Friday, 1 October 2004 13:19 (nineteen years ago) link

I do kind of like how the rocket lot are the hardest, though. I love rocket.

― Wooden (Wooden), Friday, 1 October 2004 13:25 (nineteen years ago) link

i have no idea what most of you are on about as i don't watch much TV at all anymore which is surely a good thing

― Brigadier Rainham Steele, Mrs (blueski), Friday, 1 October 2004 13:41 (nineteen years ago) link

I can't watch the Cadbury's ones with the talking sheep.

― Cathy (Cathy), Friday, 1 October 2004 13:50 (nineteen years ago) link

Me neither, Cathy. They do my head in. They are totally unfunny and meaningless.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Friday, 1 October 2004 13:58 (nineteen years ago) link

My flamate laughs a lot at the Co-op sheep too.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 14:28 (nineteen years ago) link

isn't it Woolworths?

― Brigadier Rainham Steele, Mrs (blueski), Friday, 1 October 2004 14:42 (nineteen years ago) link

I don't know, perhaps there are a lot of talking and singing sheep at the moment. Perhaps they're the latest monkeys. But the one I'm talking about it definitely Co-op. They're throwing all the GM products and additives out of the shop, with pigs. Actually, the pigs are all right.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 14:44 (nineteen years ago) link

That bacterial woman used to drink in the Phoenix a lot around the time when I was drinking in the Phoenix a lot and, for that matter, drinking a lot in the Phoenix

― Didoismus (Dada), Friday, 1 October 2004 14:46 (nineteen years ago) link

rock and roll pigs!

― Brigadier Rainham Steele, Mrs (blueski), Friday, 1 October 2004 14:47 (nineteen years ago) link

The Post Office one where the child-ants play at having road rage makes me lose the will to live.

― Adam Faithless (Adam Faithless), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:20 (nineteen years ago) link

The Red Bull ads have been the worst on TV for at least five years.

― Wooden (Wooden), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:22 (nineteen years ago) link

Vernon Kay .............................. need I elaborate?

― Didoismus (Dada), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:22 (nineteen years ago) link

That ad is awesome!

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:22 (nineteen years ago) link

Except it makes me sad that Girls & Boys was cancelled.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:23 (nineteen years ago) link

You're very strange.

― Wooden (Wooden), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:26 (nineteen years ago) link

You mean the one where he says, "I love a Brazilian, me" - have you taken leave of your senses sir!!!!!!!!

― Didoismus (Dada), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:27 (nineteen years ago) link

It's only a bit of fun!

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:28 (nineteen years ago) link

It's PURE EVIL

― Didoismus (Dada), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:29 (nineteen years ago) link

That's what Hitler said.

xpost

― Wooden (Wooden), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:29 (nineteen years ago) link

that mcdonald's (i think) ad where the dudes are playing poker with french fries really makes me cringe. something about that winning player's gestures and expressions really hurts me physically to watch.

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:33 (nineteen years ago) link

"HAVE BREAKFAST WITH THE KING"

― Loose Translation: Sexy Dancer (sexyDancer), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:46 (nineteen years ago) link

Oh! That Timotei advert where the naked girl has stolen the guys towel (just recently washed), and his shirt, but she can't get her hands on his timotei. I hate these couples that are so comfortable with each other that they can walk around naked all the time.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:56 (nineteen years ago) link

That's quite normal, jel.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:58 (nineteen years ago) link

OK, not 'all the time'.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:58 (nineteen years ago) link

I know, but I'm really pleased clothes were invented.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 1 October 2004 15:59 (nineteen years ago) link

Anyway, that's the Head & Shoulders one I already mentioned, isn't it? Not Timotei.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:01 (nineteen years ago) link

Oh yeah! See, I couldn't remember the product!

Sorry N.

Sorry Timotei.

I don't like that new Calvin Klien cinema ad, which goes on about not showwing logos and slogans. I am assuming it's Calvin Klien, it could be Kellogs for all I know.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:04 (nineteen years ago) link

Yes, that one is awful. I'd forgotten it.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:05 (nineteen years ago) link

I thought it was French Connection, to be honest. Do we know who it is?

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:06 (nineteen years ago) link

O NO WE ARE TALKING ABOUT TEH GUERILLA ADVERTISING!!!!!!1!

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:07 (nineteen years ago) link

Fool!

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:07 (nineteen years ago) link

who fives a FCUK!

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:08 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm not allowed to correct typos anymore.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:09 (nineteen years ago) link

(I love to picture the advertising execs cackling from on high "HA HA! See how we have swallowed you up and spewed you out as a killer campaign, Naomi!")

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:09 (nineteen years ago) link

However, we can counter their fiendish tactics by only buying products from Jigsaw, or Donna Karan, or Nabisco! We cannot be outfoxxed!

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:13 (nineteen years ago) link

There's one for deoderant where the couple (in immaculate white underwear) chase each other around the house pretending to spray each other.

Why don't my boyfriend and I do that? It looks like so much FUN. Mind you, who sprays on deoderant in their bra?

― Rumpy Pumpkin (rumpypumpkin), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:13 (nineteen years ago) link

If you set alight to the can it's even more fun.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:14 (nineteen years ago) link

And the 118 runners should be confined to history now. I can not abide their wackiness any longer.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:16 (nineteen years ago) link

What about that shit one for retractable awnings? WTF? It's always on in the afternoon along with the conservatory blinds ones.

Remember the Oreck vacuum cleaner? "I can hold a bowling ball above my head with the powerful suction" - Quick! Switch off the power!

― Rumpy Pumpkin (rumpypumpkin), Friday, 1 October 2004 16:27 (nineteen years ago) link

In that Head and Shoulders ad I keep on imagining the guy saying

"But there's one thing I wont let her touch, MY COCK!!!!!!!!!!"

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Friday, 1 October 2004 17:10 (nineteen years ago) link

You know when the guys have a fenderbender, and then the guy is suspiciously happy, and the one guy says to the other guy: "You gellin'?" And the guy nods and says "Like Magellen." They mean Magellen the explorer? Was he famous for gellin'? WHAT THE FUCK.

It's entirely possible that this is discussed upthread, but I became infuriated after just a handful of posts here, because they were making me think of brutal ads, and had to skip straight to the bottom.

― Taxi Dancing in the Soft Prison (Ben Boyer), Friday, 1 October 2004 17:20 (nineteen years ago) link

I too loathe the "gellin'" ad.

But the one that's especially givin' me a headache these days -- played often on CNN and MSNBC (which we have our sets glued to here at the office) is one of IHOP's spicy popcorn shrip. The scenario is a popcorn-shrimp obsessed gym instructor who's strenuously leading his class through some shrimp-centric excercises while bemused muscleheads look on. What makes it so irritating is the instructor's SHRILL fuckin' castigations: "TAKE IT, AND DIP IT, AND DUNK IT, OOOOH YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, TAKE IT AND DIP IT...!" It's exceptionally migraine-inducing.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 2 October 2004 04:27 (nineteen years ago) link

(Okay, stepping slowly away from Alex here....)

I totally hate the Sears ad campaign starring Ty Pennington. I mean, not only is Ty Pennington one of the butt-ugliest guys ever to walk this planet, but the whole of the ad campaign is uselessly stereotypical and pro-breeder. Which is a shame because I actually really like Sears (i.e. my "high end" clothing store), but hey, I'd like for once for Sears to advertise a woman checking out miter saws and a man ogling the selection of dress slacks, end of ad. No kids. And no Ty Pennington.

― Ever-Ready Daisy Chain (Dee the Lurker), Saturday, 2 October 2004 05:15 (nineteen years ago) link

Also on my "I can't believe they expect me to choke this down" list:

The Nutri-Grain fruit bar commercial with the moving signs. You know a commercial has failed miserably when it compels you to turn the channel at the moment you see it start to come on.

The McDonald's chicken selects commercials. i.e., "Making Paranoid Schizophrenia Marketable 101"!

Any Total cereal commerical. "Provides you with 100% of the recommended daily amount of [x number of] vitamins and minerals in one bowl!" Um, have these people heard of the concept of THREE MEALS A DAY? Unless all you're going to be eating throughout the day is that one lousy bowl of cereal (in which case, wise nutritional choices are not going to be the strongest of your suits), you don't NEED to worry about getting ALL of the RDA of ANY of the vitamins and minerals recommended for keeping up a healthy diet!

― Ever-Ready Daisy Chain (Dee the Lurker), Saturday, 2 October 2004 05:25 (nineteen years ago) link

Any commercial where someone goes through a fast-food drive-thru and makes fun of the teenaged kid making $5 an hour on the other side of the mic. Hey, asshole, did you really think that you were going to get a deli sub at fucking Jack in the Box? I hope Jared chokes to death on one of those cardboard Subway sandwiches.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Saturday, 2 October 2004 15:05 (nineteen years ago) link

i can't believe no-one's mentioned that c*$t michael winner's ad for whatever it is with that stupid bimbo saying "i'm not your sister dummy" when HE'S NOT EVEN SAYING SHE IS! and even more excruciatingly horrific is the follow up where an actual family are copying aforementioned ad and saying to each other "hello mum!" and guffawing like it's some kind of cult ad that has the whole country running around like twats impersonating michael winner and stupid bimbo. god, maybe i just don't get it.

― trix, Saturday, 2 October 2004 21:28 (nineteen years ago) link

Calm down dear, it's a commercial.

― Michael Winner, Saturday, 2 October 2004 22:52 (nineteen years ago) link

Oh my DAYS! I can't work out whether that new Honda ad is genius or just insanity or just awful. All I know that after eating some Thai shrooms on Saturday night and having a bunch of rabbits firing multicoloured stars out of cannons to spell the word "HATE" appear on my screen nearly made my head explode.

There's some other car advert with a bunch of tortoises crawling along - what's that about? Is it saying there car is durable but slow as fuck?

― dog latin (dog latin), Sunday, 3 October 2004 23:52 (nineteen years ago) link

I used to love the cleverness of TV ads, but now it seems the only message is "Our product is so awesome it will make you act like the biggest asshole on the planet. You won't even be able to control yourself — how awesome is that! Buy it!" The shoe commercial where the guy loves running so much he runs all over people in the park, including stomping on the spread at the picnic table, was the last straw. It really pissed me off that it was set to a great Kinks song, too.

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Monday, 4 October 2004 02:12 (nineteen years ago) link

Honda ad = k-great, Dogg. They're the best advertisers by a country mile at the moment.

I haven't seen this follow-up Michael Winner ad. FWIW, First Alternative refused to insure me because I work in television. Cunts.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 4 October 2004 11:53 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/pwo0008l.jpg

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 4 October 2004 12:01 (nineteen years ago) link

Has no-one mentioned the soulful KFC ad? It'll turn you black!

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 4 October 2004 12:05 (nineteen years ago) link

good choices of music, which i don't really have a problem with (if you're fickle enough to be sold a product because of the song then you deserve to waste your money on said product haha)

― Brigadier Rainham Steele, Mrs (blueski), Monday, 4 October 2004 12:07 (nineteen years ago) link

James Nesbitt

― Didoismus (Dada), Monday, 4 October 2004 12:08 (nineteen years ago) link

Those Virgin ads for executive class flying or whatever it was were truly shit.
-- Jonnie (jonnienumber...) (webmail), November 22nd, 2001. (link)

The current one. Where some perfectly normal folk are settling into their sleeping bunk seat thingys, nods/smiles around. And they get to their destination the next morning, and all have turned into plastic supermodel types. The blokes also. And 'Alice Cooper' at the end, supposedly, too. Except it wasn't him in the first place but a younger version. (Maybe he took an earlie flight and had two regenerations like Dr. Who)

ANYWAY!!! PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE! AND SO THEY SHOULD BE!

(agreed re the KFC ads. They are fine. You can like the music and ignore the product.)

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 4 October 2004 12:08 (nineteen years ago) link

what's happened to Jon Hannah?

― Brigadier Rainham Steele, Mrs (blueski), Monday, 4 October 2004 12:09 (nineteen years ago) link

James Nesbitt killed him

― Didoismus (Dada), Monday, 4 October 2004 12:12 (nineteen years ago) link

The Sterling furniture ad with Dougie Donnelly in full period costume is the best thing in the world ever. He should wear it on grandstand!

What I hate is that Kodak one with the smug voiceover guy saying how much "we miss real pictures, and we want them back!" Who the fuck are 'we'? Do they think we're going to believe this smoothe-voiced meeja cunt is speaking on OUR behalf? Fuck him! And fuck YOU Kodak!

And another thing about the Head and Shoulders advert: it doesn't make any fucking sense! If, as it points out, she has no problem wearing his aftershave, why is she suddenly unable to touch his shampoo just because it has the word 'men' on it? Aftershave is for men and that didn't stop her! I think they should go the whole hog and call it "Womanthrax." That'll stop the klepto-bitch from touching it.

― strophic (strophic), Monday, 4 October 2004 15:53 (nineteen years ago) link

I'd like for once for Sears to advertise a woman checking out miter saws

hell yeah! but she'd have to have the manly man power-tool salesdude making untoward comments and trying to scam her into buying something more expensive.

― pfeffernuesse (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 05:00 (nineteen years ago) link

He's stopping her, she wants the manly Head and Shoulders but its "just for a man" because scientists recently worked out some way of making soapless detergent gender specific, didn't you see it in the news?

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 11:52 (nineteen years ago) link

Did they put Yorkie in it?

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 11:55 (nineteen years ago) link

It uses the same secret method od gender specialisation as Nestle use for Yorkie.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 12:04 (nineteen years ago) link

Somehow I don't think Dougie Donnelly in full Napoleonic regalia would be quite conducive to the cheery atmosphere of the Northern Counties Bowls Championship Semi-Finals live from the Lakeside Inn, Kendal...

― Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, 5 October 2004 12:07 (nineteen years ago) link

That road safety "Don't Die Before You've Lived" ad also annoys me - the one with the teenage model showing us around her palatial home, OK-style, before the jumpcut to same girl in school uniform getting flattened by a car.

It's not so much the ad itself which annoys me but the fact that they're doing another one with...wait for it...Johnny Vaughan. Unfortunately I suspect he won't the one who gets hit by the car, followed by the slogan "Should Have Happened Ten Years Ago."

― Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, 5 October 2004 12:10 (nineteen years ago) link

Johnny Vaughan getting hit by a car ten years ago = no occupation of Iraq. think about it...

― Brigadier Rainham Steele, Mrs (blueski), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 12:17 (nineteen years ago) link

I think I would be encouraged to enter that Nescafe competition if, in addition to having £100 shoved through my letterbox every day for a year, I was awarded the chance to torture Johnny Vaughan in different ways every day for a year.

― Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, 5 October 2004 12:21 (nineteen years ago) link

Every time I see a new Old Navy ad I want to smash my TV to pieces. (Also the creators of said ad.) I really want to who the hell thought an ad about a girl who suddenly screams out her love for history was a good idea??

― Vinnie (vprabhu), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 12:51 (nineteen years ago) link

That commercial where the cranky old men sit in front of old war photographs of John Kerry and bitch, bitch, bitch about something or anouther.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:28 (nineteen years ago) link

those new six flags are pretty disturbing. i never thought the best way to pack the theme parks was with some crazy person made up to look like an old man cabbage patching to the 'venga bus.'

― still bevens (bscrubbins), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:33 (nineteen years ago) link

I just saw an ad for washing-up liquid that featured the line "limes are nature's cleansers"!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:36 (nineteen years ago) link

They are good at cleansing scurvy.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:48 (nineteen years ago) link

And you feel refreshingly sticky after washing all over with them.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:56 (nineteen years ago) link

five months pass...

three words: Pot Noodle Horn

― koogs (koogs), Friday, 1 April 2005 09:14 (nineteen years ago) link

Disagree. When he smacks the woman in the face with his enormous pant protuberance it's pure, unfettered visual comedy.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 1 April 2005 09:25 (nineteen years ago) link

"Did you see that puff?"

Oral B Brush Ups - Rip, Slip, Brush....ARGH!

― koogs (koogs), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 15:49 (nineteen years ago) link

Yakult with the nerds in y-fronts, friendly bacteria and supposedly foxy women. I just don't get it.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 17:11 (nineteen years ago) link

the best bit in the pot noodle horn ad is when he knocks over the decks, i don't know why. i find it hilarious.

― pete b. (pete b.), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 17:12 (nineteen years ago) link

The Burger King ads featuring this guy:
http://www.npr.org/business/images/graphics/burgerking_200.jpg
CREEPY

― Dan M. (OutDatWay), Wednesday, 6 April 2005 17:21 (nineteen years ago) link

Oh god, there's one that makes me practically gnash my teeth with rage every time it comes on (in fact it was on last night) but now I can't remember what it is. Gah. I'm sure it will come back to me.

― We Are All Full Of Kate (kate), Thursday, 7 April 2005 07:41 (nineteen years ago) link

Bluescope Steel has a jingle that's (a) annoying as all fuck; (b) has nothing to do with steel.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 7 April 2005 07:45 (nineteen years ago) link

The Mercedes A Class advert, nice music, but what a horrible ad - guy stressing at work all day then getting into his car.

I don't understand it, he's obviously on the verge of some kind of breakdown, and no wonder being in a job like that just so he can afford the car? I bet he's driving home to attach a hose pipe to his exhaust and end it all.

― Rumpie, Thursday, 7 April 2005 07:55 (nineteen years ago) link

The AWFUL Being Michael Winner ads:
*falsetto* a mouse! in a net!
calm down dear etc

KILL ME NOW

― sgs (sgs), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:01 (nineteen years ago) link

The AWFUL Being Michael Winner ads:
*falsetto* a mouse! in a net!
calm down dear etc

No, this is genius!

― The Horse of Babylon's Butler (the pirate king), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:02 (nineteen years ago) link

Cocking Toucan. OK, so the ads announce the return of lovely lovely CSI after the break, but ARRRRRRGH. "I'm looking forward to meeting you, detective." Why don't they just use the "I can smell your ****" line from Silence of the Lambs and be done with it?

Haha those Michael Winner ads have gone beyond the annoyance horizon and now I just chuckle weakly and sip more gin.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:06 (nineteen years ago) link

since we see loads of films with our unlimited cards, toby and i end up sitting through the commercials way too much to enjoy. he REALLY hates two or three of them, but several are older so we figured they were gone for good.

last night, i was laughing out loud because it was like they'd set up the commercials just to make toby swear at the screen (1st the levis gang/shakespeare ad, 2nd the san miguel 'you know ines de cortes?!' ad, 3rd the toyota 'he stole my car!!' ad, and followed up by the orange board with daryl hannah 'you're a idiot')

i said that was such a bad sign that we should just leave before the movie started (especially when they previewed 9 songs again. ugh). i was right, turns out.

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:06 (nineteen years ago) link

Aw, I like the Orange cinema ads, even though it makes me squirm slightly that they are so precision-engineered.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:07 (nineteen years ago) link

Yeah, Toucan are starting to wear really, *really* thin. Because they NEVER CHANGE THEM!!! Not only that, but they never change the order. So you can TELL by whether it's "I prefer the phone..." (just starting) or "Believed to reside in apartment 214 (eighth floor)" or "I'm jet lagged..." (underlines LONG DISTANCE) where exactly in the programme you are.

― We Are All Full Of Kate (kate), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:10 (nineteen years ago) link

Obviously I need to start drinking gin.
Or stop watching TV....no, drinking gin.

― sgs (sgs), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:10 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm not sure whether the

HI! BARRY SCOTT HERE!

Sillit Bang adverts are accidentally terrible or purposefully awful.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:11 (nineteen years ago) link

I bet he's driving home to attach a hose pipe to his exhaust and end it all.

Bet it has a catalytic converter, thereby rumbling his game.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:14 (nineteen years ago) link

I still find Michael Winner hilarious.

However, I find the Joanna Lumley "You don't have to be posh to be privileged" the most hillarious at all. The amusement never wears off, no matter how many times I see them. (Though I'm glad that there's another in the series now.)

― We Are All Full Of Kate (kate), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:15 (nineteen years ago) link

Those Cillit Bang adverts are terrifying. Who the fuck is Barry Scott? And why is he shouting at us?

Everyone, quite, rightly has been mentioning their hatred for Johnny Vaughan's hateful smugness, but, unless I've missed it, nobody's missed the ad's where he takes that to it's logical extreme. Yes, the Nuts adverts! Some busty blonde babe haplessly tries to change a tyre, while her ordinary bloke boyf is engrossed in a copy of Nuts. To make things worse, Vaughan pipes up in the most condescending voice possible and scoffs, "Women, don't expect any help on a Thursday!". The emphasis he puts on "women" wiii-men-ah is all the more horrid. Not only are these adverts shockingly sexist, they're patronising to both sexes. As if men would be stupid enough to be lost in the pages of Nuts. Oh yeah...

― Stew (stew s), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:22 (nineteen years ago) link

That Carlsberg ad with the ordinary geezers (interesting that lager companies and lad mag publishers go for exactly the same type. Affluent, but still ordinary blokes) getting a Chinese meal. What ill conceived orientalist claptrap!

― Stew (stew s), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:25 (nineteen years ago) link

Nuts seems to be selling reasonably well tho...

xpost

― Sven Basted (blueski), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:26 (nineteen years ago) link

Nuts is indeed selling weel, hence the "oh yeah..." I see loads of people reading it on the train or bus. I suppose that's its trick - the short articles, lots of pics and eye grabbing content, nothing too demanding.

Sorry, on a bit of a rant here, but just remembered the ad from a couple of years back that was based on middle class school run one upmanship. What was even worse was the one upmanship wasn't depicted through the adults but the kids. Absolutely disgusting. Capitalism will destroy your soul!

― Stew (stew s), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:30 (nineteen years ago) link

The toucan adverts rile, yes.

similar are the Vodafone gossiping over the fence ads they have on T4. they just seem very female-aimed but go out during very male-targetted programming (is it Enterprise?).

― koogs (koogs), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:48 (nineteen years ago) link

I love Barry Scott. He's like a character from Dare To Believe.

A possible clue to the Scott conundrum is the second ad, which implies he actually MAKES Cillit Bang. This might explain why we've never seen him before, and his peculiar on-camera personality.

― Philip Alderman (Phil A), Thursday, 7 April 2005 08:57 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.cillitbang.co.uk/images/home_promo_left.jpg

― lock robster (robster), Thursday, 7 April 2005 09:21 (nineteen years ago) link

I just love the colours of the cillit bang ads. They've clearly done their market research about what colours (purple and fuschia) appeal most to womens. (Or was it little girls that prefered purple?)

― We Are All Full Of Kate (kate), Thursday, 7 April 2005 09:23 (nineteen years ago) link

Vanish are totally trying to out-manic Cillit BANG! at the moment, with their shocking pink and high-NRG ads.

Haha, oh something else about ads during CSI: they frequently advertise Canesten anti-thrush treatments halfway through. Target audience: yeasty ladies, ta very much.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 7 April 2005 09:51 (nineteen years ago) link

at least it's not a case of product placement in the show itself

― $V£N! (blueski), Thursday, 7 April 2005 09:54 (nineteen years ago) link

The orange ads are fantastic, particularly the one where they give Spike Lee a baseball cap to wear.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 7 April 2005 09:59 (nineteen years ago) link

No, no, Vanish feature those horrible pushy ladies in pink shellsuits assaulting people with dirt and I don't like it.

Cillit bang adverts show DEFACEMENT OF THE COIN OF THE REALM!!! and therefore is subversivly cool.

― We Are All Full Of Kate (kate), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:01 (nineteen years ago) link

something else about ads during CSI: they frequently advertise Canesten anti-thrush treatments halfway through. Target audience: yeasty ladies, ta very much.

The worst time to watch TV, advert-wise, is Channel 4 in the afternoons, around Countdown. Nothing but adverts for loan consolidation companies, ambulance-chasing solicitors, or devices to help you get out of the bath easier.

― caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:23 (nineteen years ago) link

some of the orange ads are funny (and i still laugh at the 'bob's your uncle' bit the american guy doesn't get), but the one with daryl hannah is just SO BAD and NOT FUNNY AT ALL.

perhaps because she's a crap actress, dunno.

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:28 (nineteen years ago) link

The Phones 4U adverts with the American guy are without doubt the worst television adverts I have ever seen, what exactly are they trying to do with these adverts? Everyone involved, from the people who commissioned them, to the people who made them, to the people who appear them should be fired - from a howitzer.

― Dadrock, Meshach and Abednego (Dada), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:35 (nineteen years ago) link

Kill, kill, go out and kill, do it for Charlie

― Dadrock, Meshach and Abednego (Dada), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:37 (nineteen years ago) link

the one with the squeaky voiced chick ringtone thing. even worse than Crazy Frog.

― $V£N! (blueski), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:39 (nineteen years ago) link

DON'T DISRESPECT THE FROG!

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:41 (nineteen years ago) link

No. Kill him instead.

― Dadrock, Meshach and Abednego (Dada), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:42 (nineteen years ago) link

At least they blackbarred out his wee willie.

― We Are All Full Of Kate (kate), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:43 (nineteen years ago) link

I may be small,
I may be sweet,
But baby - I know how to move my feet.

Every time I hear the beat,
I just have to move my feet,
And it makes me wanna tweet,
TWEET-TWEET TWEET TWEET-TWEET-TWEET!

(or something)

― The Horse of Babylon's Butler (the pirate king), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:51 (nineteen years ago) link

Is it wrong to say that I think Canesten would do a lot better if their slogan was "Itchy twat? - Try that!"

― Alix with an I ? (alix), Thursday, 7 April 2005 10:54 (nineteen years ago) link

They need a new name that, like Anusol, describes the area of application. "Vageze", maybe. "Cervicon" (too like a Dr Who enemy?).

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:00 (nineteen years ago) link

"No need to scratch your snatch with...."

― Dadrock, Meshach and Abednego (Dada), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:03 (nineteen years ago) link

it's all about your daily digestive transit, and filling up your handbag with food, and then emptying it (which = VOMIT) at the end of the day.

or have we done that one?

― Jaunty Alan (Alan), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:05 (nineteen years ago) link

I especially like when they show that handbag one during "You Are What You Eat"!

― We Are All Full Of Kate (kate), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:07 (nineteen years ago) link

I love these too, especially the one with the megaphones.

― The Horse of Babylon's Butler (the pirate king), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:08 (nineteen years ago) link

You are (an) alien

― Dadrock, Meshach and Abednego (Dada), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:10 (nineteen years ago) link

The perfect advert would bring Michael Winner (and his mouse) into the Phones 4 U megaphone conversation which is interrupted by his Tweety the Chick ringtone.

― The Horse of Babylon's Butler (the pirate king), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:11 (nineteen years ago) link

Work that horrible More Than dog, Lucky, in there, and you got a winner.

― We Are All Full Of Kate (kate), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:16 (nineteen years ago) link

the wire shd put crazxy frog on the cover

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:21 (nineteen years ago) link

With blacked-out winky or in full glory?

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:26 (nineteen years ago) link

Wire wold do something clever and graphical to the winky not merely black it out - there'd be stroppy letters to the editor otherwise

― Dadrock, Meshach and Abednego (Dada), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:29 (nineteen years ago) link

Ah, but you're missing the best of all. 6Music now publicise themselves with an advert of Lammo. Lammo walks into 6Music with his record box. Lammo goes into the studio, puts a CD in the player (TKO by Le Tigre, I think), then sits grimly nodding along to it ENTIRELY ON HIS OWN. The advert closes with a shot of Lammo nodding along, entirely out of time, on his own, not smiling, and makes me realise that my teenage years really were a bit of a waste of time.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:35 (nineteen years ago) link

Oh god, that ad genuinely terrified me the other night - Lamacq shuffles through shot not showing his face, shuffles about a bit more. Shot of record box. Shot of TERRIFYING DESSICATED STEVE REARING UP LIKE A HORSE'S SKELETON AND OH GOD WHAT IS HE SMILING? Eurgh, *shudder*. Give that man a pie.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:37 (nineteen years ago) link

His voice makes me ill

― Dadrock, Meshach and Abednego (Dada), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:41 (nineteen years ago) link

That Levi Shakespeare ad is not only annoying, but I think it totally misreads S as well. Isn't it from Midsummer Night's Dream where the dialog's taken from? With the girl being Titania and the bloke with the jeans being Bottom? In which case, are they saying that you'd only wear these jeans if you've had an evil spell cast on you, and ladies, only witchcraft will stop you finding people wearing these jeans repulsive?

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:42 (nineteen years ago) link

It's telling you your Bottom will look good in these jeans

― Dadrock, Meshach and Abednego (Dada), Thursday, 7 April 2005 11:45 (nineteen years ago) link

I hate that McDonalds one on at the moment with somebody talking about some special offer on in an 'amusing' 'foreign' accent, before eventually and inevitably finishing up "ba-da-ba-bah, I'm lovin' it". What the fuck kind of accent is it supposed to be? It seems to travel through Eastern Europe, up to Scandinavia, before alarmingly settling on Martin McGuiness.

― The Horse of Babylon's Butler (the pirate king), Thursday, 7 April 2005 19:38 (nineteen years ago) link

I like to think I'm partially responsible for the blacked out schlong in the Crazy Frog advert. Being the Old (before my time) man that I am, I complained to the Advertising Standards Agency. I was trying to get the ad banned cos, to be honest, it's the ring tone that pisses me off, not the winkie (though it was the last thing I wanted to see on a sunday morning with a hangover. The ASA told me 60 people complained, but it had not been upheld. Then, the ad appeared with the blacked out winkie! So I'm taking it as a victory. Go on, complain, the system works!

― Craig Gilchrist (Craig Gilchrist), Thursday, 7 April 2005 20:05 (nineteen years ago) link

I hate the ringtone, but to be honest the blacked-out-crazed-frog penis just adds insult to injury. Not that I have a strong desire to see animated frog genitalia, but it seems to be saying TEH MAN has deigned to spare us from offence by blacking out the previously unnoticed amphibian cock when all along it was the fucking noise that was driving everyone mad.

― The Horse of Babylon's Butler (the pirate king), Thursday, 7 April 2005 20:14 (nineteen years ago) link

I know. It was pretty disappointing. When I saw that blacked out cock I thought "That's probably just going to make it even more cool and popular." Urgh. But the cock wasn't unnoticed, it bothered the hell out of me. But I still have to change the channel when the advert comes on, so it didn't really help anything. :(

― Craig Gilchrist (Craig Gilchrist), Thursday, 7 April 2005 20:19 (nineteen years ago) link

> The worst time to watch TV, advert-wise, is Channel 4 in the afternoons

five's afternoon films are, if anything, worse. they are all sponsored by Sterident and feature those annoying bookend ads with a cheetah who sounds like terry thomas making various teeth related jokes.

― koogs (koogs), Friday, 8 April 2005 07:12 (nineteen years ago) link

AAARRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!

I have just remembered which advert provokes the SCREAMING RAGE THROWING THINGS AT THE TELEVISION RAGE:

"Hello Auntie!
"Kim Catrall!" (if it's really her niece is she really going to greet her by full name?)
"Why can't I find a decent MANG!?!?!?" (is this supposed to be lampooning Kim or her character?)
"Here, practise on this tea" (GARG GARG KILL KILL!!!) "Don't do that, Kim" (Didn't she just tell her to practise on the tea?!?!?

Words cannot describe how much I hate this advert.

― Adherents of the Repeated Kate (kate), Monday, 11 April 2005 08:18 (nineteen years ago) link

Oh, come on, Kim Catrall tossing off a packet of tea is the best thing ever.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 11 April 2005 08:23 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm amazed they didn't think of that in Police Academy.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Monday, 11 April 2005 09:39 (nineteen years ago) link

interesting that lager companies and lad mag publishers go for exactly the same type. Affluent, but still ordinary blokes
Don't they go for £50 man? The Observer had an article last year or something about £50 man. He is the guy who always buys £50 worth of CDs when he goes into town. I think it's the same guy.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Monday, 11 April 2005 15:41 (nineteen years ago) link

There are some CableVision (local cable Tv supplier) ads running here in Jersey City that set my teeth on edge. Each spot is a mock music video - complete with song title and credits - featuring some embarrasing performances by what I hope are Cablevision employees. There's the emo-singer songwriter sensitive dude, the jazz chanteuse, the chanteuse surrounded by some retarded "vocalese" guys, the works. These ads are wretched.

Then there's the car ad where the chubby test driver gets so excited driving he starts screaming with joy. Except his screams of joy are more like the screeches of a lust-crazed gibbon.

― Jay Vee (Manon_70), Monday, 11 April 2005 16:11 (nineteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Two at the moment:
"Love the platforms, Bertie"
and
"Should have to Specsavers"

― The Horse of Babylon's Butler (the pirate king), Tuesday, 3 May 2005 21:13 (eighteen years ago) link

I hate all Sonic ads.

― Miss Misery (thatgirl), Wednesday, 4 May 2005 15:03 (eighteen years ago) link

the new honda adverts - 'it's crazy wise. it's doolally obvious.' stop that. and focusing on the minute percentage of your cars / plants that don't pollute / are recycled is fooling nobody.

the other one, the one with the babies 'why can't technology be as simple as the box it comes in?', 'why can't phones last a month, i want to talk to all the girls'. ick.

the wax virgin adverts. odd that they have to add a hint of machismo into something so feminine.

― koogs (koogs), Monday, 16 May 2005 10:18 (eighteen years ago) link

The blacked out frog ones... Now it looks like he has an YNORMUS one!

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 16 May 2005 10:36 (eighteen years ago) link

Stephen Fry has been whoring himself a bit too much lately. Orange and now Twinings tea where he seems to think we will believe the self styled cleverest man in Britain that he does not know how or when to drink Earl Grey Tea!

― Pete (Pete), Monday, 16 May 2005 10:36 (eighteen years ago) link

Whatever the bloody car one that's for people who are "still a bit rebellious". Look, you're buying a fucking 'nice little run around' you are not, nor ever have been, rebellious. Get. The. Fuck. Over. It.

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 16 May 2005 11:14 (eighteen years ago) link

nobby's nuts

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Monday, 16 May 2005 11:22 (eighteen years ago) link

The Volvic one with the stone age man who invents the wheel, the axle and, hence, the pole-dancing platform. Or maybe it's a subtle commentary on men with Stone Age attitudes to gender roles. Oh, hang on...it's not.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Monday, 16 May 2005 11:25 (eighteen years ago) link

It is! You sexist.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 16 May 2005 11:39 (eighteen years ago) link

I love the Nobby's Nuts ad - anything that has Noddy Holder shouting at people is okay with me.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 16 May 2005 11:59 (eighteen years ago) link

Michael Winner in drag.

And that damn ringtone ad that incessantly plays on ITV.

― David Merryweather (DavidM), Monday, 16 May 2005 12:04 (eighteen years ago) link

Alice on seeing the first "Sweetie the Chick" ad:

"I WANT ONE!! er, what is it?"

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 16 May 2005 12:08 (eighteen years ago) link

Oh, Sweetie the Chick is so last week, it's all about Nessie the Dragon these days...oh God, I fucking DETEST all of these ring tones, and last week I was holding forth about this hate in the office and my boss had no idea what I was on about so one of my colleagues sat and played preview clips of the whole range of shit on the Jamster website all afternoon and I died a little inside.

The farting monkey one is the worst though.

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 16 May 2005 21:39 (eighteen years ago) link

two months pass...

The Southern Comfort one with the American backpackers doing their "To Prague!" - "Tickets to Barcelona, Tickets to Barcelona" - shrug - "To Barcelona!" thing is back on our screens and driving me demented. I don't understand why I loathe them quite so much.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 19:50 (eighteen years ago) link

Because you're imagining how irritating it would be to be stuck on a train or in a hostel with these drunken, stupid, eejits?

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 20:15 (eighteen years ago) link

But they're not really drunken and I have no real way of knowing if they're stupid. I think it's their wealth and smugness.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 20:19 (eighteen years ago) link

Actually, I think it's their self-reliance and self-absorption.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 20:20 (eighteen years ago) link

I really hate them all and I hope they are all dead now.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 20:21 (eighteen years ago) link

someday they will be, if they're not now.

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 20:21 (eighteen years ago) link

It's a comforting thought.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 20:23 (eighteen years ago) link

why in Barcelona they probably rented a Hummer and, coked out, drove it off a road and into the water.

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 20:26 (eighteen years ago) link

Oh dear God! Top of the google results for that advert are people on a C4 forum saying things like "Barcelona (I've wanted to ever since I first saw the Southern Comfort advert, I LOVE that advert!)" and "I love that Southern Comfort ad too! It's so cool!"

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 20:27 (eighteen years ago) link

Livingston fans love it too!

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 20:30 (eighteen years ago) link

Gear - do they show it in the States too?

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 20:31 (eighteen years ago) link

sure enough!

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 3 August 2005 20:32 (eighteen years ago) link

three months pass...

the Bulldog internet advert. why would anyone ever describe the internet as 'a gate half open'?

― koogs (koogs), Thursday, 24 November 2005 10:33 (eighteen years ago) link

Yes, but it's got Delays for the soundtrack, which always makes me happy.

Not a TV ad, but still really really REALLY irritates me. That car advert (Audi?) with all the planets of the solar system - BUT THEY'VE GOT THE ORDER WRONG AND REVERSED VENUS AND MARS!!!

I don't know why that winds me up so much, but it does.

― The Damp Is Rising (kate), Thursday, 24 November 2005 10:36 (eighteen years ago) link

"HI I'M BARRY SCOTT AND I SHOUT"
http://www.recrea.org/pix/barryscott.jpg

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Thursday, 24 November 2005 10:38 (eighteen years ago) link

The PC World ads, and all the DFS, Vogue, furniture ones - Guaranteed delivery for Christmas? Do people really go out and buy leather suites at this time of year?

― Rumpie, Thursday, 24 November 2005 10:39 (eighteen years ago) link

Foyle's War is sponsored by AXA, and their "humorous" idents involve people at important/climactic moments (checking the results of a prgnancy test, bursting into a church at the "forever hold your peace" moment of the wedding) shouting I'VE JUST GOT AXA INSURANCE like anyone could possibly give a fuck what insurance you got. They're shit.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 24 November 2005 11:42 (eighteen years ago) link

Sheila's wheels. Die. Die. And leave that poor dog alone, doesn't he have enough problems driving you harpies around for 24 hours a day. Plus - another fucking 'it's for women, let's use loads of pink.'

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 24 November 2005 11:47 (eighteen years ago) link

Carlsberg's best takeaway in the world – in fact all the carlsberg ads

― beanz (beanz), Thursday, 24 November 2005 11:52 (eighteen years ago) link

Sheila's wheels
also, on the last shot the road is going the wrong way so it looks like they're reversing at great speed which is not really a good advert for women drivers (not that i have a problem with them before you start).

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Thursday, 24 November 2005 11:58 (eighteen years ago) link

But the Sheila's aren't even driving! That poor put-upon dog is driving! I don't even like dogs and I feel for that one.

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 24 November 2005 12:20 (eighteen years ago) link

not-goodwin mistakes dogs for women = he is even worse than those who complain about women drivers

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 24 November 2005 12:21 (eighteen years ago) link

I didn't even know there was a dog in that advert...

― Rumpie, Thursday, 24 November 2005 12:24 (eighteen years ago) link

not-goodwin mistakes dogs for women
after 4 pints, who doesn't?

rumpie, me neither.

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Thursday, 24 November 2005 12:28 (eighteen years ago) link

"That's more than Lucky..."

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Thursday, 24 November 2005 12:29 (eighteen years ago) link

I think the only Sheila's Wheels advert I have seen involved an australian transvestite and no dogs.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 24 November 2005 12:34 (eighteen years ago) link

I *love* the Sheila's Wheels advert.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 24 November 2005 12:38 (eighteen years ago) link

Actually, it's Sheilas' Wheels isn't it? I remember checking it and approving at the cinema.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 24 November 2005 12:40 (eighteen years ago) link

Not Australian, actually just part of esure, yawn

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 24 November 2005 12:41 (eighteen years ago) link

On a slightly less amusing note, there's an ad currently running on the digital channels for an animal charity. This ad features one of those dancing bears which has gone mad. It's just horrible. I watched it all the way through once, thinking it was going to have a happy ending (like the Dogs' Trust ads do), but it didn't. I have to leave the room when it's on, I find it so upsetting.

Back on the normal side of things, I still am the only person who likes the man in the Phones 4 U ads. He's crazy, yes, but he seems to have enormously strong roots in the community.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 24 November 2005 12:43 (eighteen years ago) link

"Car insurance at mice's prices"

Eh? Are mice well-known for securing excellent deals on their third-party policies?

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 24 November 2005 12:46 (eighteen years ago) link

Yeah, if you look there's a small dog driving at the wheel. In the idents before, um, Charmed they point at it and give it a variety of different hats.

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 24 November 2005 12:51 (eighteen years ago) link

a dog wearing hats? how can this not be good?

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Thursday, 24 November 2005 12:54 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.petplanet.co.uk/petplanet/images/travel/dog_with_shades.jpg

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:09 (eighteen years ago) link

Koogs otm with that gate half open drivel - that 'why don't we open it all the way?' bit always makes me angry. Because it's not any kind of gate, obviously.

Also Accentmonkey otm re that horrific bear charity advert. It keeps summoning up for me a bear in a cage in the park in Istanbul below the Topkapi palace. The cage seemed maybe 3-4 times the volume of the bear.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:17 (eighteen years ago) link

Oh come on, it's like the kind of things that Calvin's dad used to tell him to f*ck with his head.

― -Stroke-Model (kate), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:18 (eighteen years ago) link

Anyone seen that advert with Rainbow - Since You've Been Gone as the soundtrack for a Noodles advert?

"Are you a noodlehead?"

― Last Of The Famous International Pfunkboys (Kerr), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:21 (eighteen years ago) link

i hate the ads with churchill the bulldog (i adore bulldogs but not talking toy bobble-headed ones), and the ones for various loan companies showing grinning idiots about to borrow £25k against their homes with no consequences.

I have to leave the room when it's on, I find it so upsetting.

oh god. totally otm. as someone who watches digital cable a fair bit, especially late at night, i'm often completely horrified by the various child and animal and cancer charity ads, which basically boil down to showing you an abused dog/baby or bald leukemia patient whilst playing portentous music and implying that if you don't send off your two quid a month then the person/animal in question is a goner.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:33 (eighteen years ago) link

pepperami ads are awful as well, and so are the heinz mexican baked bean ads with the little bean that talks like cheech marin.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:34 (eighteen years ago) link

"where are my socks?"

"in the drawer...next to your loincloth"

die Herbal Essences advert, die.

>Back on the normal side of things, I still am the only person who likes the man in the Phones 4 U ads. He's crazy, yes, but he seems to have enormously strong roots in the community

The Phones 4 U ads are grebt - the one where he runs down to the car window to repeat the slogan ("how's that for you Billy Boy?" "YEAH! YEAHH!") is class, as is the one where it ends with the scary long-haired woman and a bell tolling in the background.

― Bill A (Bill A), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:40 (eighteen years ago) link

it's weird that they've brought those same Pepperami adverts back years after they were first shown.

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:42 (eighteen years ago) link

yeah who the fuck puts pepperami with pasta? gross!

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:43 (eighteen years ago) link

oh! and the kerry katona iceland ads!

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:45 (eighteen years ago) link

I feel nostalgic for the STUPID, JUST STUPID man.

― RickyT (RickyT), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:45 (eighteen years ago) link

yes, that whole meat + spaghetti idea has never caught on really...(xpost)

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:51 (eighteen years ago) link

Despite stiff competition from the prick with the football trying to borrow £25K, confused dot com and the 'borrow money to buy your council house' one, Kerry Katona's "are these breasts large?" advert SICKENS AND APPALLS ME.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 24 November 2005 14:00 (eighteen years ago) link

The always reliable Pringles people who start making monkey noises and doing monkey dances and are then confronted by King Kong. Aaaaaaargh.

(p.s. I love Churchill. Oh, yes.)

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 24 November 2005 14:09 (eighteen years ago) link

yes, that whole meat + spaghetti idea has never caught on really...(xpost)
-- CharlieNo4 (starsandheroe...), November 24th, 2005.

er yeah but PEPPERAMI?

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 24 November 2005 14:18 (eighteen years ago) link

It's fantastic on pizza, peperami.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 24 November 2005 14:20 (eighteen years ago) link

tf.

lauren also otm re. katona, i think they must be the actual worst.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 24 November 2005 14:21 (eighteen years ago) link

if my mum was a millionaire, i'd be really really upset to get frozen pizzas and mystery meat ready meals for dinner.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 24 November 2005 14:24 (eighteen years ago) link

ew 'mystery meat'

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 24 November 2005 14:26 (eighteen years ago) link

That's why mums go to Iceland.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 24 November 2005 14:31 (eighteen years ago) link

the soft bake Nutrigrain ads freak me out - they're in the same vein as the Phones for You 'slightly touched in the head people' adverts.

― Rumpie, Thursday, 24 November 2005 14:31 (eighteen years ago) link

Sorry, Phones 4 U.

― Rumpie, Thursday, 24 November 2005 14:32 (eighteen years ago) link

what about the starburst ad with the rapping/stripping grandma? i'm getting traumatized all over again just thinking about it.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 24 November 2005 14:48 (eighteen years ago) link

oho, jeremy clarkson's smug-as-shit bt ads.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 24 November 2005 14:50 (eighteen years ago) link

THEY ARE NOT SMUG

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:05 (eighteen years ago) link

yeah they are. it's completely stupid, but it tries to induce smugness in long-standing bt customers. his voice just *is* smugness.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:06 (eighteen years ago) link

I like Phones 4 U.

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:07 (eighteen years ago) link

Do you like their adverts?

― Rumpie, Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:10 (eighteen years ago) link

i think Clarkson and BT got the balance right.

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:11 (eighteen years ago) link

also when he says 'LAG-GING' i smirk

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:12 (eighteen years ago) link

there's a rather appalling advert where a girl (wearing spectacles) brings her boyfriend home to meet her mum but ::gasp:: her mum has started to wear contact lenses. So now this girl is all distraught and thinks her boyfriend will now fancy her mum.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:19 (eighteen years ago) link

specsavers strike again.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:20 (eighteen years ago) link

I meant the adverts. The whole world of mobile phone shopping scares me.

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:22 (eighteen years ago) link

There's some sort of claims advert where a big bearded guy starts saying "Have you been injured,.. ?" but then I don't know what happens next because I cannot begin to tell you how fast the channel gets changed.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:27 (eighteen years ago) link

There's something wrong with the Specsaver girl's hair. It's like a really bad, badgery wig.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:28 (eighteen years ago) link

it's hollyoaks hair.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:32 (eighteen years ago) link

Bwah hah ahh hah hah hah!

Stripey Hollyoaks badger.

But no one on Hollyoaks wears glasses....

― -Stroke-Model (kate), Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:34 (eighteen years ago) link

what about the starburst ad with the rapping/stripping grandma

what's wrong with that, it's a classic.

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:37 (eighteen years ago) link

the girl in the Specsavers ad actually reminded me of her in As If.

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:38 (eighteen years ago) link

I don't get that Specsavers ad. I mean, don't you guys also sell, you know, SPECS????

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 24 November 2005 16:30 (eighteen years ago) link

what's wrong with that, it's a classic.

you're obviously deranged. that's what's wrong.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 24 November 2005 16:34 (eighteen years ago) link

Has ANYBODY ever got a phone call asking about lagging?

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Thursday, 24 November 2005 16:38 (eighteen years ago) link

Yup. I am now subscribed to the telephone preference service.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 24 November 2005 16:39 (eighteen years ago) link

"OMG LAG! BS! REG! BS BS BS!!"

― g-spot (g-kit), Thursday, 24 November 2005 16:40 (eighteen years ago) link

G-KIT OTM

― melton mowbray (adr), Thursday, 24 November 2005 16:41 (eighteen years ago) link

is Lagging some new sex thing?

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Thursday, 24 November 2005 16:43 (eighteen years ago) link

I just saw a Telegraph advert where they claim to be packed with "world class sporting opinion" and I keep imagining people saying "That's a word class opinion you've got there, mate!" and the like.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 24 November 2005 19:15 (eighteen years ago) link

'We call it Kodak'

― beanz (beanz), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:47 (eighteen years ago) link

ah the kodak one is indeed teh suck

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:54 (eighteen years ago) link

Partly because US ads don't look right in the UK and partly because it is a pile of crap in its own right

― beanz (beanz), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:57 (eighteen years ago) link

I've never seen the ad, but "World Class Sports Opinion" is really terrible copy. Using "World Class" to modify anything that doesn't actually compete on local vs. national vs. world levels (athletes, etc.) is really idiotic.

― Abbadabba Berman (Hurting), Monday, 28 November 2005 13:59 (eighteen years ago) link

Having only seen it twice over the weekend I am already sick of the Vodafone "I'm gonna be with you, you'll be with me" song that they will be plugging endlessly until Christmas. And they are also releasing the song as a single. The fact that I work for Vodafone and it has now been included as Vodafone's hold music (replacing "Lovers" by Pete Doherty and Wolfman, if you're wondering) means that it will be unavoidable for me for the next six weeks.
"Can I put you on hold while I connect you to that department?"
"Not if you're going to play me that shite song again, no".

― Rob M (Rob M), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:00 (eighteen years ago) link

i saw the sheilas wheels ad over the weekend. one of those moments i was glad not to own a gun as i probably would have unloaded into the tv.

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:01 (eighteen years ago) link

Reminds me of something else I hate – 'quality' as an adjective without qualification. It's a quality paper? It could be a shit-quality paper – you haven't told me.
xxpost

― beanz (beanz), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:02 (eighteen years ago) link

the kodak thing, yes. far too pompous.

those adverts for MRI imaging systems puzzle me. who's going to buy expensive, specialised medical equipment after seeing it in the middle of coronation street?

― koogs (koogs), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:43 (eighteen years ago) link

hahaha i know right?

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:43 (eighteen years ago) link

I think those MRI adverts are a way of showing that Philips don't just made cd players and electronic goods, it's like "Hey, we're a multinational company producing products which help save people's lives, be nice to us and buy our cd players".

― Rob M (Rob M), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:47 (eighteen years ago) link

i don;t get the 'beyond petroleum' ads.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:47 (eighteen years ago) link

I guess the idea is that although you ignore the advert consciously, you're subliminally impressed with the amazingness of the company's industrial-scale products – so when you go to dixons for a packet of triple-A batteries you pick up their brand, feeling you're a part of something much much bigger.
hah xpost

― beanz (beanz), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:49 (eighteen years ago) link

"Yeah, if you look there's a small dog driving at the wheel."

Caught the full-length Sheila's Wheels advert this morning and, thanks to the live pause function on Sky+, I'm pretty sure that it's actually a kangeroo behind the wheel.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:49 (eighteen years ago) link

those adverts for MRI imaging systems puzzle me. who's going to buy expensive, specialised medical equipment after seeing it in the middle of coronation street?

Tom Cruise?

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:50 (eighteen years ago) link

(does Tom Cruise watch Coronation Street? - subs please check)

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 28 November 2005 14:51 (eighteen years ago) link

I find myself falling into a trance whenever the HP advert comes on because the music is so damn catchy (you know the one - out of the picture do be do dum dum out of the fra-ame do be do dum dum) and the repeated face-framing business is strangely hypnotic.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Monday, 28 November 2005 15:09 (eighteen years ago) link

1. The Kleenex advert, there is no reason to ever show huge closeups of spiders on television ever, unless it's in a programme where celebrities have to eat them in the jungle and we arachnophobes know to stay well away.

2. Ginger kid on LSD breaks into people's sheds and bedrooms and asks "what do you keep in this vase?" "how long are you going to feel like THAT for?" "What's wrong with your face?", then the voiceover bloke, in a "for fuck's sake" tone of voice, says to talk to FRANK about drugs

3. The advert for some educational electronic toy that goes along the lines of "Tom is learning about numbers, while James is crashing cars into walls. Tom is discovering new worlds of verbs and learning, while James is running around smashing things up". Bear in mind that this is Tom's toy that's being advertised and is supposed to sound much more fun to children than James'.

― Cressida Breem (neruokruokruokne?), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 00:15 (eighteen years ago) link

Why is that fucking woman in the Christmas Vodafone advert wearing pedal pushers? It's SNOWING and MINUS TEN DEGREES OUT. Let the fucker freeze I say. That'll shut her up.

As for Kerry Katona at Iceland, I like the way that she's put the Christmas turkey on the table at the same time as the savoury snacklets, value mince pies and the arctic roll, leaving no room for things like veg or table settings. Also I don't get the joke at the end but it seems to revolve around wellies.

― j0e (j0e), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 10:34 (eighteen years ago) link

Once more my non-tech self is confused. There is no such ad for brown sauce, I thought. Then remembered.
Mr. Monkey does not like the face framing thing. It freaks him out.
And speaking of freakouts, it is not big or clever to advertise Lucozade using zombies. They are just frightening, okay? And why the fuck would I want to buy something that may or may not turn me into a zombie?

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 11:02 (eighteen years ago) link

Re: The Sheila's Wheels one.

Am I right in assuming they can't actually refuse to insure a driver based on their gender? Is this a case of making the product so 'horribly girlie' that us 'yorkie eating men' would never stoop to applying for the insurance?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 11:14 (eighteen years ago) link

I love that HP advert, partly because the cute bloke in it looks like a friend of mine.

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 11:17 (eighteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

first off, the jamie oliver flavour shaker ads, WTF. oliver, fuck off you money grabbing lisping shit!

secondly, the dixons advert, with the ladys in tight clothing, hmmm, i love dixons!!
cant believe there are places like this where u can bitch about ads

― smallhippo, Wednesday, 14 December 2005 02:12 (eighteen years ago) link

I think that any prescription drug being advertised is the worst. They are vague and often don't mention what condition the drug is for, yet they mention the brand name 10 times in the advert and tell you to request it from your doctor. WTF? Then they proceed to tell you all the side effects of the drug, but they say it so fast (because there are so many side effects) that you can't begin to comprehend what the disclaimers are except...my personal fave at the end "including death". I don't think Rx drugs should be advertised at all!

― Wiggy (Wiggy), Wednesday, 14 December 2005 04:16 (eighteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

there's a thread somewhere where, i think, JtN complain about those micra(?) adverts with the made up words like Modtro and Spafe. the new honda(?) advert tries to introduce the word 'bigsmall' to the world. an e for effort there i think.

saw an advert on space tv whilst home over christmas (couldn't miss it, it was on every 15 minutes) where the bloke in a cheap suit in a white studio used the phrase 'zero no claims bonus' about 6 times in 15 seconds.

― koogs (koogs), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 17:52 (eighteen years ago) link

"mmmmm Danone!" Biffidus Digestivum????? Thay made that word up so these rediculous women on low calorie diets would think they were actually buying something with scientific research to it! Biffidus sounds like a fucking pokemon and Digestivum is just digest with a VUM on the end for christs sake! Stupid people... *tuts repeatedly*

Bleugh and that breathe easy strips advert or whatever they are - "this is the exact size of your nasal passages when you have a cold - theyre not full of snot, its the veins in them exploding" or something like that. I feel physically sick especially when I'm eating tea in front of the telly. Sickening.

― Amy Turner, Sunday, 15 January 2006 14:02 (eighteen years ago) link

There is a godawful commercial for some insurance or financial company that features a montage of stock "60s" imagery with maybe some Credence on the soundtrack. Anyway, the announcer follows this all up by saying something like:

"If we'd told you back then that we offer the most complete and extensive financial services... you wouldn't have cared less."

Now, people saying "I could care less" instead of "couldn't" is way, way up there on my English pet peeves as it is. Now Madison Avenue is introducing a new and even LESS logical variant, apparently just to make my life harder. What in the FUCK does "you wouldn't have cared less" mean? Seriously!

― Doctor Casino (Doctor Casino), Sunday, 15 January 2006 17:04 (eighteen years ago) link

is that butthole surfers, on the teaching ad? revolution part two.

i heard it from the other room, andd when i came in it was too late

but, it did soujnd like it!

― calderdale in the 70s (gareth), Sunday, 15 January 2006 17:13 (eighteen years ago) link

Obviously all 'no really, you can get a loan from us' ads are horrible, but this new Norton Finance one particularly strikes me. Its hopeless losers who are retired or have CCJs or whatever at the beginning are standing out in the pouring rain, looking grey and soggy and miserable - except in the background we see an ordinary shopping street, with everyone walking around happily enough, no umbrellas. This means you can't help realising that it is the advertiser who is raining on them...

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 15 January 2006 19:50 (eighteen years ago) link

sprint commercial with office dweebs dancing to 'push it'.

no.

― tres letraj (tehresa), Sunday, 15 January 2006 20:14 (eighteen years ago) link

the one with the campbell's "possibilities" acousti-hop jingle.

― yvette yreka (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 15 January 2006 20:45 (eighteen years ago) link

those are not nearly as bad as the john lithgow showtunes ones....

― tehresa (tehresa), Sunday, 15 January 2006 20:46 (eighteen years ago) link

There is a godawful commercial for some insurance or financial company that features a montage of stock "60s" imagery with maybe some Credence on the soundtrack.

Is that the same generation addressing Boomers that goes, "YOU were the generation that learned to forge relationships..."

HA! Does that include the divorcing and spouse-swapping during the ME decade?

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 16 January 2006 17:36 (eighteen years ago) link

I stopped my Rocky and Bullwinkle tape last night to be confronted with a man telling another man in great detail about the bowel movements of his daughter. He then proceeded to inform the viewing audience that we all have 5 to 22 pounds of undigested fecal matter in our bodies, and John Wayne apparently had over 40 pounds when he died. They were selling a product called Cleanse Across America. I think one of them was Hitler.

― clotpoll, Tuesday, 17 January 2006 09:08 (eighteen years ago) link

i think it's the oxy one where the lad purchases a kebab and then rubs it in his face?

stupid!

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 09:12 (eighteen years ago) link

> Biffidus Digestivum?

the worst of these made up names is that one in the cosmetics ads - Boswellox

― koogs (koogs), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 09:54 (eighteen years ago) link

1. "Bigsmall"

2. "CONFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSED! Dot com." (if I saw this guy in the street, I'd be sorely tempted to go over boot him in the nads)

3. AOL advert (using the Holocaust to sell internet services - modern life IS rubbish isn't it?)

― Vicious Cop Kills Gentle Fool (Dada), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 10:25 (eighteen years ago) link

I did actually use confused.com - they were very good.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 10:36 (eighteen years ago) link

you used it because of the advert?

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 10:37 (eighteen years ago) link

Ugh, the AOL ad: Use us, or your children will grow up to be Islamic fundamentalist terrorists and will trigger WW3.

I guess they couldn't illustrate the ad with porn though.

― beanz (beanz), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 10:50 (eighteen years ago) link

They should really be using Islamic fundamentalism to promote their product - after all, where would the Jihad be without the internet?

― Vicious Cop Kills Gentle Fool (Dada), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 10:51 (eighteen years ago) link

there's a blurry allusion to pornography, in the AOL adverts

"orwell was right..." is the bad thing about it

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 10:58 (eighteen years ago) link

the other aol advert i saw was them saying that the internet couldn't be stopped and couldn't be censored by governments. over the top of images of chinese students stood in front of tanks. isn't china the one example of where a government has pretty much managed to censor the internet?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/click_online/4587622.stm

― koogs (koogs), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 10:58 (eighteen years ago) link

So obviously AOL does not do business with the Communist Party of China, right?

― Vicious Cop Kills Gentle Fool (Dada), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 11:02 (eighteen years ago) link

... and has no plans to do so in the future?

― Vicious Cop Kills Gentle Fool (Dada), Tuesday, 17 January 2006 11:02 (eighteen years ago) link

And what does "crumbelievable" mean, anyway? It's not really a pun. It doesn't really make sense as a slogan. I would pay $50 to be a fly on the wall during the creation and selling of this ad campaign.

― Nemo (JND), Friday, 20 January 2006 14:42 (eighteen years ago) link

I'm I the only one who's seen this? Maybe I dreamed it.

― Nemo (JND), Friday, 20 January 2006 16:13 (eighteen years ago) link

It sounds awesome, anyway!

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Friday, 20 January 2006 16:21 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.nndb.com/people/279/000022213/crumb-sui.jpg

― Daniel_Rf (Daniel_Rf), Friday, 20 January 2006 16:23 (eighteen years ago) link

I didn't dream it. It's real. All too real. Crumbelievable. (OHH! cue piano, etc.)

― Nemo (JND), Friday, 20 January 2006 16:47 (eighteen years ago) link

any advery with that calm down dear guy in it he is so f***ing irritating

― David Arnold, Saturday, 28 January 2006 13:40 (eighteen years ago) link

Michael Winner? I just remembered I had a dream about him last night! He got really exasperated with me for some reason. It's cause I'd seen another godawful ad with him - the "everyone's a winner, just like me!" one for the Daily Mail. Cunt.

― Cracks (Crackity), Saturday, 28 January 2006 13:53 (eighteen years ago) link

Advert for shit new Richard Ashcroft album wherein he is described as, believe it or not, the legendary Richard Ashcroft

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 3 February 2006 17:48 (eighteen years ago) link

tha cillit bang ads
im barry scott and im a dickhead who likes to shout

the garnier nutrisse ads with davina mccall
"no mum,this is good for my hair because the name is nourish and thats a good thing"
fukin idiot, it dusnt say a single technical thing in the whole advert just its calld nourish so it must b good

tha child trust fund one
theres a baby doin an aerobics class
wot stupid diks the adults are
dey r following a baby
bollocks they r soooooooooooooo retarded

― Gangstarrrr, Tuesday, 7 February 2006 20:01 (eighteen years ago) link

No, the Cillit Bang ones with Barry Scott PLUS some random woman with the mankiest bath in the world. They are crap, even beyond the knowingly crap that they think they are.

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 20:11 (eighteen years ago) link

Um, is anyone else slightly afraid of the baby/tiny man who is making our toilet paper?

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Tuesday, 7 February 2006 20:43 (eighteen years ago) link

Can I also put in a vote for whoever came up with "great value-amundo" to be BADLY HURT?

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 15:58 (eighteen years ago) link

omg we saw a Cillit Bang advert in Spain in Spanish - best thing ever

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:00 (eighteen years ago) link

plinky plinky gizmo!

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:12 (eighteen years ago) link

Seelet Beng!

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:18 (eighteen years ago) link

The low-fi ones like Cillit Bang and the consolidate-your-debts ones with people striding purposefully through call centres talking about CCJs – they're annoying but really well-made. Designed to give you the impression that these people are just like you and understand your needs (e.g. banks make me nervous, that place looks more friendly) and that they don't waste their customers' money on high tech marketing, they're down to earth you see. Scarily effective, apparently.

― beanz (beanz), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:22 (eighteen years ago) link

Except there's one fronted by a repulsive old guy with a paintbrush mustache who looks like he belongs to the British Union of Fascists circa 1935.

― chap who would dare to be completely sober on the internet (chap), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:29 (eighteen years ago) link

"he's young and confused"

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:30 (eighteen years ago) link

Yeah, if you look there's a small dog driving at the wheel. In the idents before, um, Charmed they point at it and give it a variety of different hats.
-- Anna

Yes, as Hello Sunshine pointed out, this is indeed a kangaroo and the reason I clicked on this thread. But you know ... it *is* wearing a hat most of the time.

― Anna (Anna), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:38 (eighteen years ago) link

have we talked about that phone ad that uses a horrible version of "Hangin' on the Telephone"?

― kingfish has gene rayburn's mic (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:41 (eighteen years ago) link

It's a kangaroo, and it wears a chauffeur's cap. Why do the sheilas need motor insurance if they aren't even driving?

(I don't hate the Sheila's Wheels advert at all)

― ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 23:17 (eighteen years ago) link

I miss the Elite Carpet Drycleaners Ghostbusters rip-off ads!

― marianna lcl (marianna lcl), Thursday, 9 February 2006 08:11 (eighteen years ago) link

(I don't hate the Sheila's Wheels advert at all)

These are the *best* adverts on at the moment:

"For bonza car insurance deals, girls get down to Sheila's wheels..."
"For ladies who enjoy their cars, Sheila's wheels are superstars..."

So damn catchy!

― Tehrannosaurus HoBB (the pirate king), Thursday, 9 February 2006 08:34 (eighteen years ago) link

I have a vision of Charlie Sheen sitting at a piano, writing the jingles for those ads.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 9 February 2006 10:26 (eighteen years ago) link

You forgot the worst bit. It goes something like:

[posh man with posh voice]: this is the exact size of your nasal passages when you have a cold - theyre not full of snot...

(Jump cut to posh mans mouth)

[same posh man putting on even posher voice]: YUCK!

[posh man back to normal posh voice]: its the veins in them exploding....

Truly infuriating.

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Thursday, 9 February 2006 10:33 (eighteen years ago) link

I did notice though that one of these ads featured about half a dozen redular members of the public, and EVERY ONE OF THEM was grotesquely obese. What can it mean??

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 9 February 2006 10:43 (eighteen years ago) link

People need loans to fund their doughnut habits?

― beanz (beanz), Thursday, 9 February 2006 10:48 (eighteen years ago) link

Personally I rob people to fund mine. Seems easier.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 9 February 2006 10:51 (eighteen years ago) link

renault clio - that fucking girl thinks she's sooooooooo hot 'ooh nicole, papa, french cars, jean-paul satre, pffft!, the most romantic city in the world!' that and the stupid music dribbling past like some gallic weak orgasm. this advert could be responsible for shifting francophilia to francophobia in me. *yeeuch* shudder.

― john clarkson, Thursday, 9 February 2006 11:35 (eighteen years ago) link

You are called Jeremy and don't fool me!

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 9 February 2006 11:40 (eighteen years ago) link

bang to rights guv - i'm that smug and that bald

― john clarkson, Thursday, 9 February 2006 11:50 (eighteen years ago) link

oh god i hate the 'gorgeous is...' car ad.

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Thursday, 9 February 2006 11:52 (eighteen years ago) link

Me too. It just goes ON and ON and on AND on and on.

It's like a bad Calvin Klein ad from the early nineties.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 9 February 2006 11:56 (eighteen years ago) link

two months pass...

Dunkin Donuts - "Doing things is what I like to do...YES!" song

Make it stop!!

― Joe (Joe), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 11:34 (eighteen years ago) link

I loathe the crass sponsorship ads from Cadbury before Coronation Street and in particular the one with the grungy student type falling into a cardboard box while drinking tea out of a vase. What the fxxx is that about?

― Barry Scott, Monday, 24 April 2006 20:39 (eighteen years ago) link

I don't know if it's one of the worst or one of the best (for it's sheer improbability) but there's an ad for Kraft Cheese Crumbles which for music has a fake-EMF singing "They're Crumbelievable!" instead of "unbelievable." The guy singing sounds like he took the gig really seriously, too.
And what does "crumbelievable" mean, anyway? It's not really a pun. It doesn't really make sense as a slogan. I would pay $50 to be a fly on the wall during the creation and selling of this ad campaign.

-- Nemo (jdevereux...), January 20th, 2006 8:42 AM. (JND) (link)

I would've accused you of having hid in my living room last night were it not for the fact that you posted the above statement three months ago.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 24 April 2006 20:50 (eighteen years ago) link

freaky

― sunny successor (katharine), Monday, 24 April 2006 22:09 (eighteen years ago) link

that pepsi commercial that looks like a car commercial, with the high pitched jingle that can annoy from several rooms away

― a.b. (alanbanana), Monday, 24 April 2006 22:31 (eighteen years ago) link

I want to kick the shitty pseudo-Austrailian guy in the Outback steakhouse commercials in the fucking teeth.

― joygoat (joygoat), Monday, 24 April 2006 23:27 (eighteen years ago) link

The new Daily Express advert with it's creepy fascist undertones. Actually made me go "OH FUCK OFF!" at my TV as the strapline came on at the end.

― Treblekicker (treblekicker), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 10:57 (eighteen years ago) link

There's one on just now for some kind of training company, ICS, it's got a really annoying woman saying "Want to learn at home for a new career but don't think you can do it? ICS you can!"

They think the line is so clever they make her say "ICS you can" about ten times in the one advert.

It makes me want to weep.

― Rumpie (lil drummer girl parumpumpumpu), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 11:42 (eighteen years ago) link

Treblekicker, what one's that?

The "did you feel something?" ad for Wilkinson Sword or whoever - razors seem to be the new chewing gum in unwatchable advert stakes.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 11:46 (eighteen years ago) link

Ha ha, yes that's terrible - esp. the inept dubbing!

― Kids Will Eat Them Till the Cows Come Home (Dada), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 11:47 (eighteen years ago) link

I surprised myself when I went off on an expletive-riddled tirade last night against the J Nesbitt one where he's on the phone rhapsodizing about his penis car when wifey says, "oh btw I'm pregnant," and cue the "let me call you back" and trying-to-cram-a-carseat in a 2-seater montage, then grimly phoning up about a papal carrier. As though by "pregnant" she meant "and with quints".

Combo of cliched corvette-owning jerk plus overstyled yuppie apt plus woman in role of smug manipulative killjoy really put me off! I think this is a commercial for insurance, but I'm not even sure of that.

― sgs (sgs), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 12:06 (eighteen years ago) link

also, "nutrisse means NOURISH!!!" ARGH

― sgs (sgs), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 12:11 (eighteen years ago) link

Manipulative wifey look slightly like Helen Baxendale (ie, "Rachel"). Coincedence?

― JTS (JTS), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 15:01 (eighteen years ago) link

express adverts viewable here: http://www.express.co.uk/videos.html

― koogs (koogs), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 15:15 (eighteen years ago) link

Did someone say Canesten? http://www.yeast.me.uk

― Gav, Monday, 1 May 2006 11:28 (seventeen years ago) link

FLOWMAX - drug for making old men not have to piss all the time. May result in reduced semen production, ya know. Anyway, great name for a drug that makes you NOT have to piss, Flowmax.

― dave's good arm (facsimile) (dave225.3), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 01:22 (seventeen years ago) link

am already fed up of football themed adverts and the WC doesn't start for over a month.

http://us.a1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/a/ad/adidas/ukcountdown_220x85_122005.swf

― koogs (koogs), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 07:44 (seventeen years ago) link

"I think this is a commercial for insurance, but I'm not even sure of that."

I thought it was for the Yellow Pages...

Anyway, what about the latest Mini Baby Bell thing, with a central casting model woman (dressed like one of the Angels from Captain Scarlet) throwing some cheese out of a plane so some geeky, gropy skydivers leap out after them, but the geekiest one of all fails to catch his and it lands on a remote-control flatbed truck that an evil-looking Scandinavian boy drives away while cackling, forcing the parachutist to chase after it on foot through a giant concrete pipe only for his chute to get caught up in the pipe making him fall flat on his arse while the evil-looking Scandinavian boy eats the cheese and laughs even more madly than before?

What the fuck is that all about?

Meanwhile, Sheila's Wheels continues...

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 07:50 (seventeen years ago) link

"Put de lime in de Coke, you nut...."

AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

― hejira, Tuesday, 2 May 2006 13:40 (seventeen years ago) link

Immigration officer: How long have you been in Jamaica?

Dreadlocked white man: We bin hunnymoonin' 'bout fifteen years mon.

Me: So how come your passport hasn't expired?

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 11 May 2006 06:03 (seventeen years ago) link

saw a meta-advert the other day, some branding company doing a 30-second infomercial for the (mind boggling in its own way) 3-fragrance ambi-pur thing (despite the fact that an advert for said air freshener already exists)

― koogs (koogs), Thursday, 11 May 2006 07:32 (seventeen years ago) link

The worst tv advert of the moment is clearly the Rennies one with the grumbling volcano. It feels like it was made circa 1978.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 11 May 2006 07:36 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh, oh, also the one - for some kind of flapjack? - with the two women fishing, and one of them calls an oven "the magic box". Abysmal.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 11 May 2006 07:39 (seventeen years ago) link

My least favourite ads are any of the ones they show on Paramount Comedy. Because I'm addicted to reruns of American sitcoms, I end up on this station a lot. It's annoying because
1) they always run the same ads for their programmes in every single ad break
2) they don't change these ads for a whole month
3) their ads are SO LOUD compared to the programmes
4) their ad breaks are so long. I think we timed one the other night at four minutes

I hate them.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 11 May 2006 08:23 (seventeen years ago) link

I really can't stand the sanitary towel advert with all the women marching in the streets. Grrrrrr.

― indolent girl (indolent girl), Thursday, 11 May 2006 08:26 (seventeen years ago) link

"My least favourite ads are any of the ones they show on Paramount Comedy"

Too right. How many times have they shown that promo for "Two and a Half Men" ??? The extent of Charlie Sheen's surgery makes me want to retch!!

― JTS (JTS), Thursday, 11 May 2006 21:37 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh, oh, also the one - for some kind of flapjack? - with the two women fishing, and one of them calls an oven "the magic box". Abysmal.

Totally otm. I've also been reduced to shouting at the telly recently by the jaffa cake advert with the woman stuck down a well and the new one for bogroll with some kind of balm on it ("I'm a bit of a clean freak" etc). Jebus, these are bad.

― Bill A (Bill A), Friday, 12 May 2006 09:52 (seventeen years ago) link

Applebee's has the worst commercials on earth. They make me want to kill.

― josh in sf (stfu kthx), Friday, 12 May 2006 16:42 (seventeen years ago) link

The Daily Mail "Free 'teach yourself Spanish' CD" one that's just been on. What Spanish phrase do they show someone saying to show how fluent in Spanish you'll be after buying their paper?

"Ti amo"

― Cressida Breem (neruokruokruokne?), Friday, 12 May 2006 17:46 (seventeen years ago) link

the Pepsi / XBox open top bus / victory parade thing.

― koogs (koogs), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 11:17 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh God, yes. It makes me feel sorry for Barry Davies, that he is reduced to such hackery.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 11:21 (seventeen years ago) link

"Be a high rate saver!"

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 11:31 (seventeen years ago) link

What about the one for some kind of snack that has people being thrown into a dungeon by some strange king-type chappie?

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 11:37 (seventeen years ago) link

Not that I can see it down here, but I am reliably informed that the current ad campaign for the Scottish Daily Record is spectacularly abysmal. Confirmation?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 11:52 (seventeen years ago) link

Be A High-Rate Saver sung to the tune of Rhinestone Cowboy.

― koogs (koogs), Friday, 19 May 2006 08:18 (seventeen years ago) link

four weeks pass...

i quite like this Ford Focus ST advert I think. the one with weird things happening in a futuristing setting and is about kind of what you wanted to be in the future. i mean. it's alright.

anyway the point is that THEN there is another one by Zurich insurance "what happens" that talks also about the future, and how you can't predict weird things that happen. Uses an instrumental version of the same tune, and a few shots are inside a car! made me almost think it's the same advert until like right at the end it was like insurance wot!

co-incidence?

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:16 (seventeen years ago) link

Haven't gone through all of this thread, so apologies if it's already been mentioned, but...At Home With Beefy And Lamby...dear oh dear oh dear...

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:22 (seventeen years ago) link

the frosties advert

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:27 (seventeen years ago) link

fuckin otm.

― Seriously, Try Punching This Guy in the Face and See What Happens (Enrique), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:29 (seventeen years ago) link

Rarely so OTM!

― Il mio nome e' Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:31 (seventeen years ago) link

what's the current frosties ad?

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:33 (seventeen years ago) link

They're going to be GRRR... oh, I've been shot.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:34 (seventeen years ago) link

oh yeah that kid needs slapping

― theantmustdance (theantmustdance), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:34 (seventeen years ago) link

The Tom Tom ads

― robster (robster), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:36 (seventeen years ago) link

That car advert featuring lots of 'wacky' people singing a 'zany' version of 'What A Wonderful World'. Kill them all.

― Teh HoBBercraft (the pirate king), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:37 (seventeen years ago) link

I hate seeing the same actors in different ads - 4 years at RADA to sell remedies for thrush, well done

― Il mio nome e' Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:40 (seventeen years ago) link

Quote me fucking happy.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:42 (seventeen years ago) link

Indeed, inexplicably it still thrives

― Il mio nome e' Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:47 (seventeen years ago) link

4 years at RADA to sell remedies for thrush, well done

I doubt that was their motivation

― Teh HoBBercraft (the pirate king), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:48 (seventeen years ago) link

> The Tom Tom ads

that's exactly what i was thinking needed posting to this thread. especially the one with the fish-faced woman and her accent.

― koogy wonderland (koogs), Friday, 16 June 2006 11:50 (seventeen years ago) link

Quote Me Bastard Happy.

Should Craig Cash now follow the Jay Leno/Doritos procedure as outlined by Bill Hicks?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 16 June 2006 12:05 (seventeen years ago) link

They're going to be GRRR... oh, I've been shot.
-- accentmonkey (tris...) (webmail), Today 12:34 PM. (later) (link)

They are frosties. They're all right. they aren't worth going down the street about. And in any case, you wake up, go downstaris, and have breakfast. Where's he been? Where's he going? Is he anticipating the next morning's cereal? Why would he do that? And is Ian Dury's estate getting royalties for the blatant ripoff of "I want to be straight"? Or is it his just reward for ripping "ello tosh got a toshiba" and paying Alexei Sayle nowt?

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 16 June 2006 12:10 (seventeen years ago) link

They're gonna taste great,
They're gonna taste great,
I can hear the sound of Frosties hitting me plate,
They're gonna taste great,
With Tony your mate,
Well everybody knows Frosties taste great!
Even ladies who wait,
Or a pirate,
And your teenage brother who's out on a date!
If you live in Oz, mate,
Or the Empire State,
Even ladies with personalised number plates,
Or a bloke in a crate,
Well he knows they taste great!
They're gonna taste great,
They're gonna taste gre
They're gonna taste great,
They're gonna taste great!

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 16 June 2006 12:16 (seventeen years ago) link

You'll be next.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Friday, 16 June 2006 12:19 (seventeen years ago) link

shot?

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 16 June 2006 12:21 (seventeen years ago) link

Frosties ad slightly redeemed by presence of random pirate (even if they do make pi-rate rhyme with great). That kid's jubilant little dance as he sails off into the air at the end is just his way of asking for a doing.

My pet hate, though I strongly suspect it is just me, is the current one for the Scottish Tourist Board/visitscotland. It shows a young and good-looking couple having a grown-up and good-looking coupley type city break - in a hotel room, in a restaurant, walking around, etc. It is clearly, to my having-lived-there-since-I-was-a-teensy-ailsa eyes, shot in Inverness. I imagine this is not clear to anyone who hasn't been to Inverness, as the back of the castle and the Greig Street Bridge aren't quite indicative of Scottish City Breaks as, say, Edinburgh Castle. Yet nowhere in the ad does it go "this lovely fun and vibrant place is Inverness, please come and visit it", it just says "have a city break in Scotland". So you think "I'm yer target audience, young, handsome, fond of fine wines and good food, I must go and have a break somewhere like, ooh, Scotland", guess where it is, wrongly, and you end up having a shite time in Dundee.

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 16 June 2006 12:27 (seventeen years ago) link

No-one goes to Dundee by accident, surely.

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 16 June 2006 12:29 (seventeen years ago) link

shot?

You know it, toots.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Friday, 16 June 2006 12:36 (seventeen years ago) link

that frosties ad seems really australian to me. another awful ad is the loans one where everyone's inexplicably talking to camera in the street in the piss-down rain and one of them's an old guy who gets really ratty and goes "i'm a pensioner, where do I go for a loan?" and it cuts to a hell-hole call-centre.

― michael wells (michael w.), Friday, 16 June 2006 12:41 (seventeen years ago) link

That Andy Gray one, "If you think playing football is hard, try watching it". Apart from the statement itself being bollocks, I hate that Anglo Scottish accent he has, if I ever end up sounding like that then I hope someone will do me a favour and shoot me

― Il mio nome e' Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 16 June 2006 12:55 (seventeen years ago) link

Is it actually Andy Gray? There seems to be a few adverts around at the moment featuring what sounds like and Englishman doing a poor impression of Andy Gray.

― Teh HoBBercraft (the pirate king), Friday, 16 June 2006 12:57 (seventeen years ago) link

All loan ads are terrible, but I reserve a special piece of spleen specifically to vent at that one with Phil Tufnell pretending to look really interested in the debt-hawking fuckwit call centre staff.

― ailsa (ailsa), Saturday, 17 June 2006 12:21 (seventeen years ago) link

ok i don't know if it's particularly bad but wtf is that becks ad with the 4 dancing guys in various states of animation about? i don't get the concept at all.

― michael wells (michael w.), Saturday, 17 June 2006 20:20 (seventeen years ago) link

the concept explained

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Saturday, 17 June 2006 23:00 (seventeen years ago) link

meanwhile: at one o'clock on the morning of father's day, the airwaves are full of adverts for, er, father's day CDs. well, i suppose you can pick one up at the petrol station cheaply before paying that cursory annual visit, you miserable GBP fucks.

this one is particularly nauseating and deserves a thread to itself.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Saturday, 17 June 2006 23:28 (seventeen years ago) link

the transport for london one really annoys me; partly because of the mendacity; partly for the velvet underground thing; partly for the gordon ramsey product placement.

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:21 (seventeen years ago) link

*looks up mendacity*

yes, agree with you on all three counts

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:29 (seventeen years ago) link

i was on bus for 90 mins from highgate-camden this morning. fucked if i have time for all the other stuff.

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:30 (seventeen years ago) link

Last night chez-moi:

Son (aged 13) : hey dad, you've got to see that transport for London ad, there's a guy trying out a Fender Jaguar.
Me : cool! Give me a shout if it comes on again.
(Later)
Son - it's on! (split-second later) oh you missed the Jag!
(Later)
Son - it's on again! Quick!
Me - where? where's the Jag?
Son (tetchily) - you missed it again.

Is the bloody guitar in the ad, or is he having me on?

― Dr.C (Dr.C), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:36 (seventeen years ago) link

yes he buys or tries a guitar in a shop in denmark street.

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:38 (seventeen years ago) link

he is the indiest man ever!

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:41 (seventeen years ago) link

It's the sort of advert which makes me want to emigrate to Greenland.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:52 (seventeen years ago) link

The TalkSport one with that "de-der-de-der-der" tune at German immigration control is awful, with them pullinng things out of their jackets is awful but strangely compelling, a bit like TalkSport itself.

What is that "de-der-de-der-der" tune anyway?

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:56 (seventeen years ago) link

...then seize control of the island, split from Denmark, develop a nuclear weapons programme and destroy London.

xpost (obv)

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:56 (seventeen years ago) link

awful.

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:57 (seventeen years ago) link

All those ads which start 'Dave Halfwit was trying to fix an aerial to his roof during a thunderstorm. "I was trying to fix an aerial to my roof during a thunderstorm when I slipped and quite badly grazed myself - I was off work for a year but [some dodgy law firm] helped me get back on my feet with a cheque for £7"' I especially hate the one with the woman slipping over and I don't know why, 'cos I feel I should feel sorry for her.

― Ned T.Rifle (nedtrifle), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 11:15 (seventeen years ago) link

No...just emigrate to Greenland. To get away from the Cool Police.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 11:18 (seventeen years ago) link

That kid's jubilant little dance as he sails off into the air at the end is just his way of asking for a doing.

OTM

The quote me happy ads really need to be stopped don't they.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 11:28 (seventeen years ago) link

What is that "de-der-de-der-der" tune anyway?

Its the changing expression on the customs official as the items get more and more silly

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 12:49 (seventeen years ago) link

is anything on itv4 NOT sponsored by 888.com? they've also done the compression trick to make their advert louder than the program it interrupts. it's also, because it butts right up against the programs, immune to tivo ffwd. curse them.

― koogy wonderland (koogs), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 07:53 (seventeen years ago) link

HAVE YOU GOT A WKD SIDE?

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 08:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm going to have to once again bring up that awful loan advert where the guy is wandering around the house on the phone bouncing a football around, and his wife is filming him with a camera.

"who are you talking to?"
"Mike!"

good grief

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 08:06 (seventeen years ago) link

I shall just say...

"Ooh, Homebuyer man!"

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 08:19 (seventeen years ago) link

wkd is the worst of all possible ad campaigns

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 08:24 (seventeen years ago) link

OTM Enrique and RJG (did I just say that?). Is WKD supposed to be marketed at closet homosexuals who want their mates to cockblock them every time they're in a situation where they could pull? That's the only message I'm getting from the ads.

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 09:19 (seventeen years ago) link

Ste OTM

The "They better not cancel football" bloke is extremely punchable.

― Colonel Poo (Colonel Poo), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 09:21 (seventeen years ago) link

However I do like the Vomit advert where the kid has PE and his Mum packed his Dad's pants instead of his swimming trunks so he wears them anyway and jumps off a diving board and uses them as a kind of parachute. Top stuff!

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 09:32 (seventeen years ago) link

Yes the WKD ads seem to be going from random prank into rather more horrible things. The next one will be one of the lads disabling the brakes on the other ones car or something.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 09:50 (seventeen years ago) link

I find myself strangely drawn to the estate agent twerp in the BT ad.

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 09:57 (seventeen years ago) link

he reminds me of me, a bit. hope he turns up in Doctor Who next year.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 10:00 (seventeen years ago) link

No...just emigrate to Greenland. To get away from the Cool Police.

I honestly read this "the Cod Police" and thought Greenland is exactly where you *would* find them.

― Earwig oh! (Mark C), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 10:24 (seventeen years ago) link

I can't decide which is more annoying:
"Shh....akespeare!" or "So you've got tickets to the football finals"

― theantmustdance (theantmustdance), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:01 (seventeen years ago) link

there's another one tha bugs me everytime i see it but i have blanked it from my mind, or something. however this one:

> "So you've got tickets to the football finals"

is close.

― koogy wonderland (koogs), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:17 (seventeen years ago) link

Ha ha, the football finals!

And yes, when your mates find out you've swapped them for a telly, they're not gonna be impressed at your suave sophistication, they're gonna give you a shoeing

― Johnny B Was Quizzical (Johnney B), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:25 (seventeen years ago) link

(but the point was he only had one spare ticket.)

― koogy wonderland (koogs), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:26 (seventeen years ago) link

But they obviously don't care that much about the match. They can't even be bothered to get to their friend's place before the start of the game!

― theantmustdance (theantmustdance), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:33 (seventeen years ago) link

But he gave away ALL his tickets, hence being able to host his chums.

― Earwig oh! (Mark C), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:35 (seventeen years ago) link

Also he is a twunt because he invites them all round to watch The Football Finals, and doesn't give them so much as a beer to drink in his soulless white yuppieboy flat.

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:36 (seventeen years ago) link

Everybody OTM. "Shh....akespeare!" - what a cunt. HAVE YOU GOT A WKD SIDE? Do you know anyone like this at all? I suppose alcopops are for teenagers, but they can't really show that in the adverts. "So you've got tickets to the football finals" Mystifyingly bad - who is this aimed at? They've deliberatley chosen not to say 'World Cup final', but presumably there is nobody in this country who is unaware that the World Cup is on (even if they loathe football), so why not just say it? Maybe they're planning on using the advert for ten years.

I can't remember the product but a similarly naff football-themed one recently went something like this:

Jeremy: No, I'm the biggest footer fan.
Tarquin: No, I am. I buy a new replica kit every week.
Jeremy: That's nothing I've been watching Teh Soccer Finals since 2002!
Tarquin: Well, I've got Michael Owen in that cupboard over there.
Michael Owen: He's right.

― Teh littlest HoBBo (the pirate king), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:37 (seventeen years ago) link

There's a horrible local (?) ad for a dating hotline where the female narrator talks about the dating preferences of people at a party, in a sort've jazzy sprechgesang, like "michael is a writer who hopes to write a novel soon". It wouldn't even be a noticable ad except that it goes on for fucking ever! It must be a full two minutes long, and they tell you all about 15 or 16 fictional people, it drives me crazy.

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 17:34 (seventeen years ago) link

this seems a reasonable place to ask: what's the music in the orange/broadband/bicycle ad? the internet (okay, commercial breaks and beats) doesn't seem to know.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 21:57 (seventeen years ago) link

it sounds like something from sodastream's first album.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 21:58 (seventeen years ago) link

Time To Let You Go by The Funky Lowlives

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 22:01 (seventeen years ago) link

They've deliberatley chosen not to say 'World Cup final', but presumably there is nobody in this country who is unaware that the World Cup is on (even if they loathe football), so why not just say it?

Probably has to do with licensing...to use the phrase "World Cup" in your add would mean you'd have to be associated with FIFA somehow, or would have to follow their guidelines, etc. FIFA would consider it cheaping their sponsorship if other companies could namecheck the World Cup. Same with the Superbowl...it's always called the "Big Game" or "Sunday's game".

― musically (musically), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 23:42 (seventeen years ago) link

bad ad i couldn't remember is the 'beauty editor' and her 'penta-peptides' which you'd expect to pay celebrity prices for, but no, they are only £20. for some face cream. so that's ok then. said ad got rubbished in the front of the guardian guide on saturday.

― koogy wonderland (koogs), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 07:42 (seventeen years ago) link

Michael Owen running through Asda to collect a curry. Why?

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 07:49 (seventeen years ago) link

hunger?

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 07:50 (seventeen years ago) link

I belive her full job title is 'celebrity beauty editor'. You wouldn't expect some bog-standard beauty editor to be privy to the wonder of penta-peptides now would you.

― robster (robster), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 07:52 (seventeen years ago) link

whos?

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 08:04 (seventeen years ago) link

so are plenitude action lipisomes an old technology now then? and whatever happened to carla williams? did she graduate from her hair and beauty course and do her friends still often ask her what to do with their hair? we must be told.

― koogy wonderland (koogs), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 08:13 (seventeen years ago) link

Michael Owen running through Asda to collect a curry. Why?

It's the only excitement he's had to look forward to this summer. I never want to see an advert with a footballer in it ever again - esp. not if they have to talk/act.

― ¡Vamos a matar, Dadaismus! (Dada), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 08:14 (seventeen years ago) link

'Are you a wax virgin?'

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 08:17 (seventeen years ago) link

oh the 'can hate be good?' song makes me wish i never had ears.

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 08:22 (seventeen years ago) link

OTMs

― ¡Vamos a matar, Dadaismus! (Dada), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 08:23 (seventeen years ago) link

Time To Let You Go by The Funky Lowlives

thank you. i doff my cap, as always.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:26 (seventeen years ago) link

Michael Owen running through Asda to collect a curry. Why?

the real question is whether he'll have to get on the tube with it.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:33 (seventeen years ago) link

oh the 'can hate be good?' song makes me wish i never had ears.

hi dere dead inside

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:33 (seventeen years ago) link

you like that song!?

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:34 (seventeen years ago) link

Michael Owen running through Asda to collect a curry.

Does he get as far as the fresh veg, then collapse holding his leg and crawl into the potatoes till the physio turns up?

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:36 (seventeen years ago) link

Cleverest advert of the moment: the Food Standards Agency one about barbecues with sausages sizzling and "When Will I See You Again?" on the soundtrack. "Sooner than you think if you don't cook them properly," flashes the caption. Quite good, that one.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:38 (seventeen years ago) link

Michael Owen running through Asda to collect a curry.

He appears in the advert even tho he hasn't collected a curry all year. Then he passes an Argentinian customer and falls over.

― ¡Vamos a matar, Dadaismus! (Dada), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:43 (seventeen years ago) link

A grillion grillion worlds of OTM re: "wax virginity", with the bird who used to be on Hollyoaks but SORRY LOVE you're a brunette so it's off to screeching hen-night esque hellholes for you where you get attacked by Ming-Ra with her waxing strips and a bunch of chanting friends who then wax your ALREADY BARE LEGS FFS and "oooh it didn't hurt at all" - yes that's probably cos you've already had 2138472374 suggestively named cocktails and are anaestheticised to all feelings both physical and emotional.

The REAL worst thing is that I still have to buy them because the own brand ones are even WORSE! Urgh!!

― Bhumibol Adulyadej (Lucretia My Reflection), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:53 (seventeen years ago) link

I am irritated by, but also quite fond of them, in a pitying way, of the really obvious pre-op "ladies" on the Activia ads who keep saying they're "bloated". Ghost symptons mate. I mean COME ON one of them even wears the most obvious CHOKER in the world!

Is anyone ever actually "bloated"? We were discussing this in the park the other day. Doesn't it just mean "full"? Really? Or over-sensitivity to fat at emotional times of the month?

― Bhumibol Adulyadej (Lucretia My Reflection), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:59 (seventeen years ago) link

Haha the US Activia ads are silly too! Although they appear to have women who were born that way. With "front bottoms" and everything.

― Bhumibol Adulyadej (Lucretia My Reflection), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 10:02 (seventeen years ago) link

"Some people think the internet is a bad thing..."

... whereas I think your advertising campaign is shit thing

― ¡Vamos a matar, Dadaismus! (Dada), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 10:05 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh yeah and with AOL wireless broadband is the same price as regular broadband. WTF? Their whole shtick is to make confused people even more confused, then present thim with the solution to a non-existent problem. Wankers.

― beanz (beanz), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 10:13 (seventeen years ago) link

Halifax.
Big Brovaz.
That is all.

― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 10:21 (seventeen years ago) link

"They're Gonna Taste Great! They're Gonna Taste Great!"

and still, those AA adverts. 1.) I think it would be pretty creepy to be stranded in the middle of nowhere while an army of flourscent-jacketed mechanics descend upon me and 2.) How inept are they if it takes that many to actually fix the damn car?

― The Ultimate Conclusion (lokar), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 10:32 (seventeen years ago) link

How fucking homoerotic is that Coke Zero advert?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 14 July 2006 19:03 (seventeen years ago) link

Coke Zero tastes like someone has put toothpaste in an ordinary can of Coke.... avoid!!

There's one horrific ad where a cat is walking around a bath-tub with an irritating Yorkshire bumpkin voiceover blaring stuff like "Oscar lahks to play around me bath! And ya just gotta laugh, when he sniffs round that plug'ole!". Ugh.

And also "It's better to get Curanail than be a Criminail!". Words fail me.

― JTS (JTS), Sunday, 16 July 2006 01:11 (seventeen years ago) link

the Ford commercials with the old man who won american idols

the anti-smoking ads they run here in NY with the tracheotomy guy.

― Jimmy Mod: NOIZE BOARD GRIL COMPARISON ANALYST (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Sunday, 16 July 2006 02:06 (seventeen years ago) link

Fuck the Esure mouse with a great big rusty pole.

― chap who would dare to start Raaatpackin (chap), Sunday, 16 July 2006 11:53 (seventeen years ago) link

“When the doctor first told me…” - At the risk of sounding like an insensitive asshole, I cant fucking stand those ‘Exclusive Kylie Interview’ ads they have been running constantly on the sky channels. Ok, it sucks that you got cancer and everything but do I really want to hear you vent about it before, during and after every Simpsons episode? What makes them worse is that fucking woman interviewer trying to put on a face of careful consideration and understanding, complete with thoughtful head tilt, when really she just comes across as gormless moron who isn’t really listening. Actually, I don’t blame her.

Oh yeah and ‘you think you look the business, she thinks you look like a cocksucker. REACT.’ Fuck off.

― Mark Lane (bob2), Monday, 17 July 2006 01:11 (seventeen years ago) link

tracheotomy guy pisses me off so much

xpost

― nervous (cochere), Monday, 17 July 2006 01:35 (seventeen years ago) link

the anti-smoking ads they run here in NY with the tracheotomy guy.

OH GOD. We have one like that down here. It is a woman with--I guess it is a tracheotomy, it is really just a plug for the hole in her neck--and she talks about smoking and then TAKES OUT THE PLUG and talks through her scary neck hole and I have to change the channel every time it comes on because it freaks me out so much. :ccc I WILL NEVER SMOKE AGAIN.

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Monday, 17 July 2006 01:44 (seventeen years ago) link

one month passes...

Impossibly bright voice: "Everything in the world has a pulse...and now... so does a toothbrush!!!"

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... *looks round*... uhhhhhhhhhhh ... exsqueeze me?

― dud Hab 'C' dEva (Dada), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:13 (seventeen years ago) link

not because it's that bad but because it's been going for years: the one with the garage rock s/t where the cars play hide-and-seek.

also, obviously: 'the toast you never butter, the thread you never pwn...'

― Bashment Jakes (Enrique), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:17 (seventeen years ago) link

that Jennifer Saunders Barclaycard one. FUCK. OFF.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:25 (seventeen years ago) link

fuckin a.

― Bashment Jakes (Enrique), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:28 (seventeen years ago) link

why isn't she in a hopsital with that schizophrenic behaviour?

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:30 (seventeen years ago) link

the pc world advert where the students and the sales person are discussing dual core processors.

"being students i bet you're not used to doing two things at once are you"

also the sales person advises that dual core can help them 'upload' music and 'download' email faster (at the same time) - i thought this would be more based on how quick their internet connection was?

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:31 (seventeen years ago) link

I hate that one for some fucking toothpaste or other? Or for dentures? Something to do with your teeth anyway? The one with the blonde woman? Who is supposed to be a company director or something? But, of course, she's an actress? And she talks like this? Where everything she says is a question? Even when it isn't? I think she's Irish? Or South African? Or something?

― dud Hab 'C' dEva (Dada), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:32 (seventeen years ago) link

'downloading emails' lol

― Bashment Jakes (Enrique), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:34 (seventeen years ago) link

sorry i meant the other way around

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:42 (seventeen years ago) link

but it doesn't make any difference

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:43 (seventeen years ago) link

no i mean i think it is 'd/l emails' on the ad, and lol @ that.

― Bashment Jakes (Enrique), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:47 (seventeen years ago) link

I haven't seen any of these ads!

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:48 (seventeen years ago) link

humax, all too humax.

― Bashment Jakes (Enrique), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:50 (seventeen years ago) link

That's probably it! I am draining the advertising revenue lifeblood of commercial television. Oh dear. I feel guilty now.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:52 (seventeen years ago) link

Can't remember what it's for (anti-pong, possibly) but there's some businesswoman going about her day with SUPERHUMAN POWERS, such as making said product crash through walls, blowing up her treadmill by running too fast etc.

Bugs me most of all because they've popped in a shot of Canary Wharf outside her office window, but when she blows up the treadmill it clearly has a two-pin plug and the Underground train she crashes through the ground into looks more like the sort of thing you find in the States on or on the continent. Certainly not a Tube.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 09:17 (seventeen years ago) link

The renaissance of Vauxhall's Zafira ad with the two "little old men" kids is starting to really hurt my brane. It's bad enough that it's on at all times of the day and night, but the follow-up where they're in the showroom and the shorter kids turns to his pal/brother and says "ahh, look at 'er eyes light up!" gives me the willies. Immensely irritating in itself but he then gives him a sideways glance that makes his pudgy face more terrifying than The Omen.

Konal OTM regarding Saunders too: "Get your own pop-ups!".

― Bill A (Bill A), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 10:32 (seventeen years ago) link

i like that zafira ad!

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 11:59 (seventeen years ago) link

That Saunders ad is one of the reasons I gave up watching television. The plotline on EastEnders where Dawn poses as Ian's wife is the other one.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 20:08 (seventeen years ago) link

The one where the old man has his wife's tiny little false teeth in. Very disturbing.

― Bidfurd (Bidfurd), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 20:37 (seventeen years ago) link

The new Gilette Fusion advert falls into the 'so outrageously bad it's pretty good, but cynically and knowingly so, so in fact it's just plain awful' category. OTT is all well and good, but something as flagrantly knowing as this has no place on our screens.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 20:42 (seventeen years ago) link

The Tango one with people's heads cut out of paper and stuck onto smaller bodies and all wacky shit goes on. It freaks me out and doesn't make me want to drink Tango.

― wogan lenin (dog latin), Thursday, 24 August 2006 10:31 (seventeen years ago) link

Lynx are up to their usual shenanigans.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Thursday, 24 August 2006 10:33 (seventeen years ago) link

not because it's that bad but because it's been going for years: the one with the garage rock s/t where the cars play hide-and-seek.
-- Bashment Jakes (miltonpinsk...) (webmail), Yesterday 9:17 AM. (later) (link)

"HEY HEY HEY HEY!!!! yeah, I know.. yeah, I know.. yeah, I know.. "

(ah)

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 24 August 2006 10:34 (seventeen years ago) link

also the sales person advises that dual core can help them 'upload' music

what, and BREAK THE LAW?

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 24 August 2006 20:13 (seventeen years ago) link

I can't hate the hide and seek cars cos it always warms my heart to see Mark E. making beer money.

― Pier Paolo Semolina (noodle vague), Thursday, 24 August 2006 21:59 (seventeen years ago) link

the one where that bitch with the kid is having a slow day and she decides to buy a Hummer because it makes her feel tough, or at least that's what i get from it.

― gear (gear), Thursday, 24 August 2006 22:45 (seventeen years ago) link

I can't hate the hide and seek cars cos it always warms my heart to see Mark E. making beer money.
-- Pier Paolo Semolina (noodle_vagu...), August 24th, 2006.

what the fuck?

that's the fall?

i assumed it was an 03-nu-garage band!

― Bashment Jakes (Enrique), Friday, 25 August 2006 07:37 (seventeen years ago) link

Not strictly an advert, but MTV keep running a trail where they describe Kasabian as "legendary".

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Friday, 25 August 2006 09:41 (seventeen years ago) link

What about that one for a wart treatment (ha ha, a wart treatment, can you believe it?) called, and I may be wrong here but I'm sure this is correct, WARTNERS! The one where this drippy little twerp, who deserves to have his arse kicked every day of his life, is bemoaning the miserable life he had to lead before HIS MUM discovered this Wartners muck and applied it to liberally to his sorry ass (and other areas) - what 14 year old goes about beaming with joy about his mummy treating his friggin' warts?!??!

― dud Hab 'C' dEva (Dada), Friday, 25 August 2006 09:50 (seventeen years ago) link

that's the fall?
i assumed it was an 03-nu-garage band!

-- Bashment Jakes (miltonpinsk...) (webmail), Today 8:37 AM. (later) (link)

Track is Touch Sensitive. The one about going behind a tree for a pee, etc.

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 25 August 2006 09:55 (seventeen years ago) link

what channels do you watch!!!???

xpost

― animal bitrate (Enrique), Friday, 25 August 2006 09:55 (seventeen years ago) link

... maybe it was only on during the school holidays, the warty kids being indoors when the normal kids were all outside playin' and shit

― dud Hab 'C' dEva (Dada), Friday, 25 August 2006 09:58 (seventeen years ago) link

I remember during the Myra Hindley film, the adverts were very badly made as most high-profile companies knew better than to have their products endorsed during the most (supposedly) controversial film shown on TV.... there was one for "HISCOX INSURANCE" (hehe) which was basically a cue card reading "HISCOX INSURANCE" with a monotone voiceover..... truly, truly bizarre but muchly needed comic relief at the time!!!!

― JTS (JTS), Friday, 25 August 2006 21:10 (seventeen years ago) link

"This is us, take away pizza and life on the go."

THEN WHY DO YOU NEED A FUCKING HUGE EXPENSIVE KITCHEN?

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Saturday, 26 August 2006 00:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I WANT "LEASE FOR NAUGHT" DEAD

― PappaWheelie, Olives, Red Wine, Coffee, Scotch, and Me (PappaWheelie 2), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 02:17 (seventeen years ago) link

any advert that says "you do the... we'll do the...". also that stupid "Bigsmall, a new word used to describe something that is big but also small" I mean GNUH GNUGH NGUH! As if the Spafe ad wasn't atroicious, you cuntos have to come along and rip it off and make it EVEN MORE FEEBLE!!

― wogan lenin (dog latin), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 09:50 (seventeen years ago) link

Magazine advert with Jeffrey Archer in it. GET OFF MY TELLY!

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 14:51 (seventeen years ago) link

"We work hard, so you don't have to"

"We work, so you have to pay us."

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 14:56 (seventeen years ago) link

xxpost: OMG YES, DOG LATIN OTM, the Toyota Yaris advert is quite possibly the worst, most insulting, and most risible piece of CROLLOCKS (yeah, work that one out guys) I've ever seen. OMG I feel sick thinking about it now. ARGH!

― Obvious Ninja (Haberdager), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 14:56 (seventeen years ago) link

'bigsmall' seconded. don't like clement freud anyway.

― a rapper singing about hos and bitches and money (Enrique), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 14:57 (seventeen years ago) link

also that Mr. Opportunity cartoon dude's "outtakes" is moranic

― PappaWheelie, Olives, Red Wine, Coffee, Scotch, and Me (PappaWheelie 2), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 16:05 (seventeen years ago) link

worst moment in history of television adverts:

"I'm a mother...but is there anyone else out there who sometimes feels a little...overwhelmed?"

*half of stadium (which contains everyone in the WORLD, lol) stands up*

― Obvious Ninja (Haberdager), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 16:24 (seventeen years ago) link

Mr. Oppurtunity is SOOO budget. Classic case of big ad firm letting some senior exec who hasn't done anything creative since the late 60s come up with the creative.

No, worst ads ever are the VW ads where people are just driving along and suddenly get in a car accident. That kind of shit would make a movie R rated.

― Dan Selzer (Dan Selzer), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 19:35 (seventeen years ago) link

I hate it when Mr. Opportunity bangs on the glass of my television set. The fucking nerve he has to do that.

― mr. brojangles (sanskrit), Tuesday, 29 August 2006 20:04 (seventeen years ago) link

there's a triumvirate of industrial strength glue adverts that always seem to be aired together and all say exactly the same thing: 'superglue is now stronger. nomorenails is now stronger. (some tile adhesive) is now stronger (and anti-fungal)'. seems pointless.

(last nights was followed by a CILLIT BANG ADVERT, just to add insult to boredom)

(re the yaris advert, what took you? 8)

― Koogy Yonderboy (koogs), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 07:45 (seventeen years ago) link

"If Jesus came to earth today they'd crucify him straight away upon a cross of MDF and they'd use No Need For Nails."

— HMHB, Upon Westminster Bridge

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 09:17 (seventeen years ago) link

That cunt from the Confused.com advert has been replaced by a less annoying woman. Don't think we've forgotten what you've done though, Confused.com. I am still going to track you down and gut every last motherfucking one of you with a rusty fruit knife.

― I Supersize Disaster (noodle vague), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 09:43 (seventeen years ago) link

oh god, the Skechers reality tv ad breaks my brain. OH NO, YOUR SKECHERS.

If you haven't seen it, it's here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Io1rkAmupwY

― Slumpman (Slump Man), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 09:51 (seventeen years ago) link

i can't tell if that ad is taking the piss or what

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 09:52 (seventeen years ago) link

I got my home insurance through confused.com :(

― Earwig oh! (Mark C), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:11 (seventeen years ago) link

Anything involving:

1. Evangelical churches
2. Perfume

― dud Hab 'C' dEva (Dada), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:15 (seventeen years ago) link

The ones clearly made to be shown across Europe, and then dubbed with language for each region. But we can tell it's made in Germany, cos everyone looks German!

Worse yet when they try and have them dubOverThe actress.

Kinder are the worst of all for this. Milk bars indeed.

― stet (stet), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:44 (seventeen years ago) link

There used to be an advert with a v. famous actress - prolly Andie Macdowell - with her voice dubbed. WE KNOW WHAT SHE SOUNDS LIKE, NOBS.

― I Supersize Disaster (noodle vague), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:47 (seventeen years ago) link

And that horrible soya fruit drink advert. I got given a test carton of it, and it's nasty, but the advert nonsense of the highest order. I mean, what's even the point of that product? Is it for people who are lactose-intolerant AND allergic to Vitamin C? It's certainly not gonna get vaguely Mediterranean policemen doing an Irish jig.

I remember that Andy McNab advert. All shampoo adverts must die.

― Johnny B Was Quizzical (Johnney B), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:50 (seventeen years ago) link

Have we talked about

"Mr Judge I urge you to..."
"Urge?"
"I've got the uuuurrrge"
"She's got the urge to 'erbal"

It just speeds ahead in terms of being irrelevant to anyone, let alone the UK.

― wogan lenin (dog latin), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:50 (seventeen years ago) link

I like the way the soya drink people are trying to pretend that we won't pronounce the name of their drink AIDS. Off the market in 3 months.

― I Supersize Disaster (noodle vague), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:52 (seventeen years ago) link

It is foul tasting muck too

― dud Hab 'C' dEva (Dada), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:53 (seventeen years ago) link

i think I started a thread about AdeZ. Apparently it had a phenomenal marketing budget.

― wogan lenin (dog latin), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:54 (seventeen years ago) link

Gotta do something with all that unwanted GM soya.

― I Supersize Disaster (noodle vague), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:56 (seventeen years ago) link

It might have been a good idea to taste the stuff before trying to flog it

― dud Hab 'C' dEva (Dada), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:56 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh! And Southern Comfort trying to convince us to order a "SoCo" while Jack Daniels would like us to think they make Ye Traditional Whisky, and not Drink That Means Fighting With The Police Later

― stet (stet), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 10:59 (seventeen years ago) link

I like fighting with the police.

― I Supersize Disaster (noodle vague), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 11:01 (seventeen years ago) link

The ones clearly made to be shown across Europe, and then dubbed with language for each region. But we can tell it's made in Germany, cos everyone looks German!
Worse yet when they try and have them dubOverThe actress.
Kinder are the worst of all for this. Milk bars indeed.
-- stet (vmdnb900...) (webmail), Today 11:44 AM. (later) (link)

Plus, those ads contain German Humour. Which does not translate! It just makes UK viewers go ".... ?"

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 11:03 (seventeen years ago) link

There's one doing the rounds on daytime and digital where some ad exec has clearly decided that people with LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS need to be told over and over again that it is an advert aimed at people with LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS, so the besuited man standing in front of a blank background says "LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS" over and over again, over-stressing the words LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS every time he does so.

"Do you have LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS? If you've got LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS it can be very hard to get insurance, so people with LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS should try the insurance company that only takes on people with LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS, like you. So, if you've got LOW NO CLAIMS BONUS, call Feckless Drivers Inc on....

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 11:21 (seventeen years ago) link

This thread need more youtube.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 11:35 (seventeen years ago) link

The moment youtube is introduced is the moment bad ads become ironically appealing ads and that would be a horrible thing :(

― === temporary username === (Mark C), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 12:12 (seventeen years ago) link

It's basically TV spam innit

― stet (stet), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 12:15 (seventeen years ago) link

It would be if it was "xxLOE KNOCLAIMS BONUSS"

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 12:18 (seventeen years ago) link

A Nigerian 419 scammer advert would be the best thing ever.

― I Supersize Disaster (noodle vague), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 12:21 (seventeen years ago) link

beep.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 30 August 2006 15:31 (seventeen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

those hmv adverts were they take a classic b&w film and add something in hmv corporate purple, i don't like those.

(on the other hand, i do keep seeing adverts for Echo & The Bunnymen. didn't think i'd live to see the day but apparently i have)

― Koogy Yonderboy (koogs), Monday, 18 September 2006 15:34 (seventeen years ago) link

There's a new British Gas advert which is fairly nondescript as adverts go, but the bloke doing the "we're dead nice, please get your gas from us" spiel is Jonny Regan from BB3. I thought he was a fireman?

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 19 September 2006 15:10 (seventeen years ago) link

four weeks pass...

C'mon!

FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

― Diddumsismus (Dada), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 15:38 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh my God, there's a Frosties radio advertising campaign on just now where they ask kids to phone in and sing the Frosties advert. I heard it about five times last night in the space of an hour, with squawking out-of-tune brats going "they're gonna taste great", each ad done by kids from a different part of the country, so Glaswegian kids, Scouse kids, Geordie kids, etc. It actually makes you appreciate the wee git in the proper advert on the telly, which is some feat.

― ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 15:45 (seventeen years ago) link

the bloke with the woodpecker on his head. why? and why does the waiter say 'what's in your wallet?' at the end? it makes no sense.

― Koogy Yonderboy (koogs), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 21:38 (seventeen years ago) link

while Jack Daniels would like us to think they make Ye Traditional Whisky

I'm generally quite relaxed about all these adverts that seem to wind everyone else up (and am an active fan of the Frosties boy) but hearing that twat fake on in that cloying way about fucking "Mr Jack" and the good old boys of Moore County makes prohibition seem appealing. Even the Tube posters make me move down the platform.

― Alba (Alba), Thursday, 19 October 2006 07:07 (seventeen years ago) link

Not just because they have affected my career, but because their ad makes no sense: Two or three horse-faced office twit women stand around talking about how one of them is going out with "Jenkins" simply on the basis that he recommended broadband for £14.99. None of it makes sense and Jenkins is this ugly little oik who is dwarfed by his staggeringly lanky date.

― changed me name (dog latin), Thursday, 19 October 2006 15:06 (seventeen years ago) link

In the BT ads yer man from My Family bought a house simply on the basis that they had a BT broadband router lying around!

― ledge (ledge), Thursday, 19 October 2006 15:12 (seventeen years ago) link

xpost

You missed out the fact that they imply that JENKINS FLASHED HIS SCHLONG AT HER AT THE BUS-STOP.

― James Herbert Dip (noodle vague), Thursday, 19 October 2006 16:34 (seventeen years ago) link

xpost

Am I alone in hoping smug BT boyfriend dumps his older woman and she goes crazy apeshit mental and kills him, then the kids, then herself?

― James Herbert Dip (noodle vague), Thursday, 19 October 2006 16:35 (seventeen years ago) link

The big Broadway Musical number - Chips, Glorious Chips - to advertise McCains Home Fries makes me want to throw things at the TV set. Do people really get paid to think up these adverts?

― C J (C J), Thursday, 19 October 2006 16:42 (seventeen years ago) link

I was talking about that the other night. That advert must have cost a small fortune to make, and yet it makes me puke with annoyance.

― James Herbert Dip (noodle vague), Thursday, 19 October 2006 16:47 (seventeen years ago) link

> JENKINS FLASHED HIS SCHLONG AT HER AT THE BUS-STOP.

yes, but isn't there also the implacation that she's going with him DESPITE that rather than BECAUSE of it?

― Koogy Yonderboy (koogs), Thursday, 19 October 2006 16:53 (seventeen years ago) link

Yeah, at which point you think "surely signing up with Tiscali and grassing him up to the rozzers are not mutually incompatible?"

― James Herbert Dip (noodle vague), Thursday, 19 October 2006 16:54 (seventeen years ago) link

The big Broadway Musical number - Chips, Glorious Chips - to advertise McCains Home Fries makes me want to throw things at the TV set. Do people really get paid to think up these adverts?

haven't seen "chips, glorious chips" but the "big broadway musical number" idea is nothing new.

― martha gives letterman the 'lick' (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 19 October 2006 16:55 (seventeen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

i hope someone carjacks marc horowitz and strips his stupid nissan for parts.

― gear (gear), Monday, 6 November 2006 03:56 (seventeen years ago) link

We've said it already but C'MON! is so so so so shit! Why have such a seemingly elaborate advertising campaign for such a vapidly boring car?

― wogan lenin (dog latin), Monday, 6 November 2006 12:44 (seventeen years ago) link

Those puppets in the Corsa ad are quite disturbing in a way that I can't quite put my finger on.

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 6 November 2006 12:46 (seventeen years ago) link

no so much the ad but the product:

THREE-STAGE AIR "FRESHENER"

wtf?

not even freshener but fucking "christmasy" smells like wood and fire and shit.

WEIRD

― benrique (Enrique), Monday, 6 November 2006 12:52 (seventeen years ago) link

Fuck air freshener anyway. Who the fuck uses it? Cunts.

― ledge (ledge), Monday, 6 November 2006 13:41 (seventeen years ago) link

you're a pot pourri guy huh?

― 2 american 4 u (blueski), Monday, 6 November 2006 13:42 (seventeen years ago) link

I bought some of that Christmas air freshener because the landlady was coming round for an inspection. It made our flat smell like a branch of John Lewis.

― wogan lenin (dog latin), Monday, 6 November 2006 13:55 (seventeen years ago) link

We've said it already but C'MON! is so so so so shit!

And yet... I didn't like it at first but, almost unheard of for an ad, it's growing on me.

As for the BT ads, get used to them - they're currently employing well-known writers to brainstorm new directions for our lovable telephone-obsessed family.

― === temporary username === (Mark C), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:02 (seventeen years ago) link

they're currently employing well-known writers

Marcello?

― dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (Dom, Monday, 6 November 2006 14:04 (seventeen years ago) link

philip roth

― benrique (Enrique), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:06 (seventeen years ago) link

they're currently employing well-known writers

it never really occurred to me that someone actually sits down and writes that crap. probably takes about 6 months to write a 30 second ad.

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:15 (seventeen years ago) link

probably get paid more for those 30 seconds than kafka earned in his life.

― benrique (Enrique), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:15 (seventeen years ago) link

i don't mind the BT family, probably cos I AM HIM

― 2 american 4 u (blueski), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:17 (seventeen years ago) link

you have a bumfluff mustache?

― benrique (Enrique), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:18 (seventeen years ago) link

is this the advert where everyone sits around looking like they've crapped their pants and muttering things about "download limits" and "chatting to each other online"?

― wogan lenin (dog latin), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:22 (seventeen years ago) link

As for the BT ads, get used to them - they're currently employing well-known writers to brainstorm new directions for our lovable telephone-obsessed family.

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:22 (seventeen years ago) link

hahaha

― benrique (Enrique), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:23 (seventeen years ago) link

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:24 (seventeen years ago) link

― Ste (Fuzzy), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:27 (seventeen years ago) link

whuh?

― wogan lenin (dog latin), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:32 (seventeen years ago) link

maybe RJG meant to quote it 12 times in that annoying way people do? (altho i don't know why he would)

― 2 american 4 u (blueski), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:35 (seventeen years ago) link

> it never really occurred to me that someone actually sits down and writes that crap.

salman rushdie famously started as a copywriter. 'naughty but nice' etc.

― Koogy Yonderboy (koogs), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:38 (seventeen years ago) link

I really don't understand the C'MON advert at all. What have little knitted people got to do with a car?

― C J (C J), Monday, 6 November 2006 14:54 (seventeen years ago) link

six months pass...

Details of a complaint made to the Advertising Standards Authority over 'Miracle Spring Water':
http://www.asa.org.uk/asa/adjudications/Public/TF_ADJ_42553.htm

I particularly like: "They believed that no-one had ordered the products as a result of the broadcasts".

― Not the real Village People, Sunday, 20 May 2007 22:37 (sixteen years ago) link

one month passes...

Ugh. Anyone seen the advert (I think it's for Heineken or Kronenbourg - some foreign beer anyway) with the woman in the bath with the lobster? The concept is not funny, not even remotely, it's just fucking crap but the scene with the lobster is actually repellent, there's something creepy and obscene about it, it fair made my flesh crawl, I'm tellin' ya.

― Tom D., Tuesday, 26 June 2007 11:07 (sixteen years ago) link

Also that advert with the woodpecker peckin' on the side of the guy's head with the smug waiter WHO IS IN ABOUT 1000 OTHER ADVERTS at the moment - get a proper job, dickhead!

― Tom D., Tuesday, 26 June 2007 11:11 (sixteen years ago) link

It is creepy (the Heineken ad). But more than that it's just crap.

See it here...
http://www.duncans.tv/2007/heineken-lobster
(NSFTomD)

...and read hilarious Marketing Director as he explains it..
With our new campaign we’re targeting successful, well travelled, male urbanites who, like a growing number of consumers, are seeking out more authentic and individual brands and experiences.”

― Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 11:17 (sixteen years ago) link

taht car ad that rips off <insert any indie pop song>

― nathalie, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 11:20 (sixteen years ago) link

I hate that lobster one as well. It's for Heineken. I hate the creepy lobster, but I also hate the idea of "hey, Brits, stop whining that we put a head on your beer and so you got less beer for your money. It's European!"

I also hate those FUCKING memory hotel ads, and they are on ALL THE TIME. Clearly someone spent a huge amount of money on them, and they're just rubbish. I had to see the first one three times before I understood the concept.

Also, as I said on another thread, the Ariel ads suggesting that people turn to 30 degrees on their washing machine. Fine, except that the woman in the ad blatantly turns her washing machine to something other than 30 degrees. Stupid.

― accentmonkey, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 11:21 (sixteen years ago) link

The advert with the two guys chained on the gates outside a factory - I realise this must have been a rush job for the advertising agency after the Mastication For the Nation campaign got pulled but, nonetheless, LAME-O. I've got a horrible feeling the waiter from the woodpecker advert might be in this one too...

― Tom D., Tuesday, 26 June 2007 11:26 (sixteen years ago) link

don't diss folks in ads Tom D it's silly money for little work. allegedly.

― acrobat, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 11:30 (sixteen years ago) link

bILL hICKS TO THREAD.

― Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 11:33 (sixteen years ago) link

oOPS CAPS off...

― Ned Trifle II, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 11:33 (sixteen years ago) link

don't diss folks in ads Tom D it's silly money for little work. allegedly.

I know that but it annoys me seeing the same faces in different adverts.

― Tom D., Tuesday, 26 June 2007 11:36 (sixteen years ago) link

I know that but it annoys me seeing the same faces in different adverts.

it annoys me when TV presenters are on more than one channel e.g. Lauren Laverne on BBC's The Culture Show trying to get a rise out of Dizzee Rascal, and then next week Lauren Laverne on C4's Transmission trying to get a rise out of Dizzee Rascal.

the lobster ad doesn't seem THAT bad. not as bad as the beer ad a few years back with the woman getting her husband to clean the house with his tongue, or countless other tacky beer ads.

can't think of any good recent beer ads. bring back the talking John Smiths horses etc.

― blueski, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 13:18 (sixteen years ago) link

Worst beer ad slogan "mannen weten waarom" (men know why) for Jupiler. GRRRRRR.

― nathalie, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 13:28 (sixteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

During my recent brief visit to the states I saw an advert for a bank or aftershave or something I dunno, which used, without any apparent irony, the song with the following lyrics:

Stop wasting my time
You know what I want
You know what I need
Or maybe you don't
Do I have to come right
Flat out and tell
you everything?
Gimme some money
Gimme some money

If you recognise the song hopefully you will share my WHAT THE SHIT sentiments.

― ledge, Friday, 13 July 2007 14:49 (sixteen years ago) link

Oh ok it was by The Thamesman aka Spinal Tap (originally, they used a cover in the ad).

― ledge, Friday, 13 July 2007 15:02 (sixteen years ago) link

"Lick the lid of life"!!

One of the ads is exrEMELY Creepy!!

― Mark G, Friday, 13 July 2007 15:04 (sixteen years ago) link

WATER SPORTS, GOAT CHEESE PIZZA, HEROIN AND CHEVROLET

― David R., Friday, 13 July 2007 15:06 (sixteen years ago) link

Also the plethora of ads dredging up obscure novelty songs from the earlier decades of the last century, like that blubba blubba whatever tongue wobbling one for car insurance, or the yankee choir singing about april showers for some mobile telco - CUT IT OUT. Christ it's not even as if I would particularly hate the songs normally but being forced to listen to the same 30 second snippets over and over again...

― ledge, Friday, 13 July 2007 15:08 (sixteen years ago) link

I have recently seen Kevin Trudeau's informercial _Natural Cures They Don't Want You To Know About_ . I thought that shit, that is more than stupid lies - it was criminally irresponsible, was b& from tv everywhere.......
if i see it again I'll remember the channel and join the multitude of official complaints.

― Sébastien, Friday, 13 July 2007 15:22 (sixteen years ago) link

three months pass...

i seriously have no idea for the appeal of the cadbury ad. it's NOTHING

i'm really sorry for bringing it up here, but my work colleague has pushed me into it by blabbering on about how she's a member of some stupid facebook or myspace group dedicated to the 'brilliant and hilarious' ape.

omg shoot world now

― Ste, Thursday, 1 November 2007 11:25 (sixteen years ago) link

agree. what's the big deal?

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, 1 November 2007 11:28 (sixteen years ago) link

Yes. Plus I've only just realised it's an ad for chocolate.

― Tom D., Thursday, 1 November 2007 11:31 (sixteen years ago) link

It's a gorilla playing some drums. It does make me wonder what it is you look for from your ads? Information on the excellent product being hawked? Do you like Cillit Bang?

I agree though that I don't see why Cadburys, of all people, went for this ad. There are many "quirkier" brands, or brands who might seek to be leftfield in some way, who could have done something similar. But Cadburys? What benefit do they get from this kind of "edgy" "credibility"?

― Mark C, Thursday, 1 November 2007 11:32 (sixteen years ago) link

It does make me wonder what it is you look for from your ads?

Advertising agency awards I imagine. Don't know what the companies actually paying for the ads think they're getting.

― Tom D., Thursday, 1 November 2007 11:33 (sixteen years ago) link

i don't want anything from ads really -- but why the fuss over this entirely average ad?

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, 1 November 2007 11:38 (sixteen years ago) link

Also I am sooooooooooooooooo fed up hearing adverts with drippy nu-folk troubadours on the soundtrack... fuck off you useless hippy cunts, the 60s was 40 years ago!

― Tom D., Thursday, 1 November 2007 11:40 (sixteen years ago) link

Yeah, Banhart can go fuck himself.

As for the drumming ape- I imagine people who enjoy it sit at home clapping their hands in idiotic delight, while shouting "Gorilla! Gorilla!"

― Neil S, Thursday, 1 November 2007 11:44 (sixteen years ago) link

But Cadburys? What benefit do they get from this kind of "edgy" "credibility"?

People willing to overlook their betrayal of their Quaker origins, by outsourcing jobs abroad so they can sell off land at huge profit for housing?

― aldo, Thursday, 1 November 2007 11:48 (sixteen years ago) link

I like the Cadburys ad. Well, I've only seen it once, but I laughed.

― Ronan, Thursday, 1 November 2007 11:51 (sixteen years ago) link

Is it even supposed to be funny?

― Tom D., Thursday, 1 November 2007 11:52 (sixteen years ago) link

I guess in a way that ad execs believe to be ironic and edgy, i.e. not at all. The attempted rehabilitation of baked bean head Collins is another of its crimes.

― Neil S, Thursday, 1 November 2007 11:56 (sixteen years ago) link

It is pretty funny. Why would it be ironic/edgy? Or how does it betray an attempt to be such things? That's just pure projection.

It is a gorilla beating a drumkit. It has nothing to do with the product. What's edgy or ironic about it? It's just abstract and slapstick and stupid.

― Ronan, Thursday, 1 November 2007 11:58 (sixteen years ago) link

Edgy? Has this word changed its meaning without anyone telling me or something?

― Tom D., Thursday, 1 November 2007 11:58 (sixteen years ago) link

I'm not saying I think it's edgy! I suppose I'm projecting, but I can imagine an ad exec pitching it to Cadburys as edgy, insofar as it doesn't reference the product at all, apart from the colour scheme and typography.

― Neil S, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:01 (sixteen years ago) link

The kids haven't seen the full version, all they see is the one where you see the gorilla briefly, with drumsticks, and the Dairy Milk logo.

YEAH OK YOU MADE AN ADVERT, DAIRLY MILK PEOPLE. WHAT, TOO CHEAP TO LET US SEE IT ANYMORE?

The long version, on seeing it the first time, had a certain "what is this? cache, before it unfolds. but then .... it's a joke you know the punchline to.

― Mark G, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:02 (sixteen years ago) link

Dairy Milk
Dairly Milk
Daily Mailk
Daily Mail.

Carry on!

― Mark G, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:02 (sixteen years ago) link

it's not edgy so much as... LOL it's okay we've caught up with the americans and it's acceptible to use phil collins or some revisionist bullshit.

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:04 (sixteen years ago) link

They prob'ly think it's "viral" or sumthin'

― Tom D., Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:06 (sixteen years ago) link

LOL it's okay we've caught up with the americans and it's acceptible to use phil collins or some revisionist bullshit.

i am afraid to know what this means

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:08 (sixteen years ago) link

I like that commercial with that fruity French bee trying to have bee sex with a flower. I hate that stupid bee.

― burt_stanton, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:09 (sixteen years ago) link

people aren't necessarily sposed to actually like adverts are they? just as long as they remember them and don't dislike them to the point where they are put off by the product.

it's provoked conversation and consternation so presumably both cadburys and teh ad-makers are sitting rather smugly at the moment.

― Upt0eleven, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:10 (sixteen years ago) link

I think it's only in cinemas but I detest that "history of Ben & Jerry in 30 seconds" advert, especially with its asinine "save planet" bit at the end.

― Alba, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:12 (sixteen years ago) link

word

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:13 (sixteen years ago) link

"Save the planet, buy ice cream"?

― Tom D., Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:15 (sixteen years ago) link

actually ben & jerry's is hailed as an industry leader in "green" packaging, down to the ink on its cartons (i can explain more but it's all out there somewhere).

― get bent, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:20 (sixteen years ago) link

it's provoked conversation and consternation so presumably both cadburys and teh ad-makers are sitting rather smugly at the moment.

Yeah, by hating on it we're playing right into their hands!

― Neil S, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:20 (sixteen years ago) link

The B&J one's one of those traditional self serving puff piece movies that make the client feel good about thimselves. To the point of org, tbh!

― Mark G, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:21 (sixteen years ago) link

(xp) I don't know what they're so smug about, I'm not eating any more of their chocolate than I did before. But then, altho I've seen the ad lots of time, I didn't even know it was for Cadburys!

― Tom D., Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:23 (sixteen years ago) link

"Save the planet, buy ice cream"?
Nah, they say it in the context of a snippet about their Climate Change College, which seems to involve sending competition winners on a (one hopes carbon-neutral) trip to the Artic Circle. But even if this programme is of use, and their packaging is green, the flip yadda yadda way in which they say "save planet" before moving on really winds me up.

― Alba, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:25 (sixteen years ago) link

Kettle Chips trying to make people forget about the whole union-busting episode with possibly the cheapest-looking advert on tv at the moment.

― Bocken Social Scene, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:27 (sixteen years ago) link

Any firms who actually ARE taking meaningful green initiatives have every right to be smug about it imo.

― Mark C, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:28 (sixteen years ago) link

http://www.benjerry.com/our_company/about_us/environment/

― get bent, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:29 (sixteen years ago) link

why?

xpost

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:32 (sixteen years ago) link

huh?

― Mark C, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:33 (sixteen years ago) link

Any advert that mentions or emphasises Green issues is instantly turned off in my household - you're trying to sell me stuff and that's it. Period.

― Tom D., Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:34 (sixteen years ago) link

You actually turn your telly off? Do you just sit there counting out 30 seconds & then turn it back on again?

― Eyeball Kicks, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:40 (sixteen years ago) link

You're supposed to go and make a cup of tea aren't you? Traditionally...

― Tom D., Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:42 (sixteen years ago) link

UK adland is in the grip of a sustained push of all manner of revolting air freshener devices currently. Definite lowlights are the poorly dubbed euro-ad which opens with "it's bad enough when your house smells of fish" - come again? Also, the hideous CGI squirrel household with their woefully animated visitors and ceaseless trumpeting of the "soothing light" built into the device makes me want to eviscerate the marketing gonk that decided this was the added-value their customers demand.

As for the drumming gorilla, well on first viewing I thought it passable but since then (as mentioned upthread) every other wall post I get on facebook seems intent on including it because it's *so* hilarious...

(on the opposite side of the coin, I thought the recent ads for Halo 3 with the huge model diorama and Chopin soundtrack were, frankly, wonderful - best of the year by some margin)

― Bill A, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:50 (sixteen years ago) link

air freshener is weird, period.

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:51 (sixteen years ago) link

the worst thing about the dairy milk ad is the showing ratio of full thing to reminder. I don't really dislike the ad itself but the frequent reminder does help make me

― RJG, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:52 (sixteen years ago) link

(x-post)

OTM - Is it really enough of a moneyspinner for EVERY household products company in the country to advertise it during EVERY damned break!?

― Bill A, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:53 (sixteen years ago) link

Mark, I don't think smugness is ever something justified on an issue as big as this.

You could argue that any good work they may be doing with their green initiatives is undone by the impression they are giving in this advert that climate-change-related planet-saving* is something so trivial that it can be singlehandedly achieved by one ice-cream manufacturer.

*really human-saving

― Alba, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:54 (sixteen years ago) link

Definite lowlights are the poorly dubbed euro-ad which opens with "it's bad enough when your house smells of fish" - come again?

Ha ha, yes. I always say, in my head, "But it doesn't" when that come on. Also the advert that uses the word "fragrancing".

― Tom D., Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:54 (sixteen years ago) link

not a word^

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:56 (sixteen years ago) link

I don't know what they're so smug about, I'm not eating any more of their chocolate than I did before. But then, altho I've seen the ad lots of time, I didn't even know it was for Cadburys!

To the extent to which I understand it - which is not much - there are ads that are designed to make you want to rush out immediately and buy the product, and those which are designed to embed the brand in your subconscious, such that when you next go out to buy a chocolate bar for example, you get a dairy milk.

I know it's a lot more complicated than that but the gorilla one is definitely in the latter category.

― Upt0eleven, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:58 (sixteen years ago) link

cadbury perhaps taking a leaf out of orange's book...? I know kate moross did some of their print ads

the monkey one is OK; it does almost have the feel of a viral, despite being shot for TV

― czn, Thursday, 1 November 2007 12:59 (sixteen years ago) link

Oh man, I've just remembered, there's an advert for a digital camera (I assume) with a couple in Italy or France or somewhere, at one point they're on a boat with a buncha nuns and then having a meal later on, and the guy has the most fucking irritating smug gurning fucking kickable slappable face

― Tom D., Thursday, 1 November 2007 13:01 (sixteen years ago) link

two months pass...

oh no, Greggs bakery advert with the bloke from max and paddy. heavens.

― Ste, Friday, 11 January 2008 15:49 (sixteen years ago) link

speak american

― sunny successor, Friday, 11 January 2008 15:51 (sixteen years ago) link

pls

― sunny successor, Friday, 11 January 2008 15:51 (sixteen years ago) link

yeh dat one's a bladdy noightmare gav

― That mong guy that's shit, Friday, 11 January 2008 15:52 (sixteen years ago) link

"Throw-On"

― Ste, Friday, 11 January 2008 15:53 (sixteen years ago) link

Corr bloimey that Miller Loite advert with the old boike is a roight royal pain in the Marble Arch it's a roight two an eight Queen Mum Gawd bless 'er only ever killed her own &c.

― Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 11 January 2008 15:59 (sixteen years ago) link

I'm not sure if it's on TV, but the cinema ads for Australia ending with that warmer shouting "So where the bloody hell are you?" have started appearing in print too, I note with horror.

― Alba, Friday, 11 January 2008 16:13 (sixteen years ago) link

Definitely some homoerotic shiznit going on in the Subway advert at the moment.

― the next grozart, Friday, 11 January 2008 16:21 (sixteen years ago) link

injurylawers4u ad with eastenders' johnny allen

― DG, Friday, 11 January 2008 16:25 (sixteen years ago) link

oh yes! that one is excellent. "you could sit around and shrug your shoulders like a poofter, but if you're a real man you'll let us rinse the fuck out of those bastards for every penny they have"... or something to that effect.

― the next grozart, Friday, 11 January 2008 16:32 (sixteen years ago) link

> speak american

there's an american equivalent of this thread somewhere

oh - most annoying commercial now running

― koogs, Friday, 11 January 2008 17:26 (sixteen years ago) link

(actually there's a newer one than that, must be. can't find it though)

― koogs, Friday, 11 January 2008 17:41 (sixteen years ago) link

there's a tube advert for some aussie 'long' hair product that actually makes me want homicide legalised

― Just got offed, Friday, 11 January 2008 17:44 (sixteen years ago) link

wow

― sunny successor, Friday, 11 January 2008 18:24 (sixteen years ago) link

Any of the "howard" halifax adverts. That new one with the beach boys song is the worst yet.

― Herman G. Neuname, Friday, 11 January 2008 22:55 (sixteen years ago) link

those carling ads

― DG, Friday, 11 January 2008 22:56 (sixteen years ago) link

oh my fucking god, i just saw the halifax beach boys ad. That's pretty bad even by halifax howard ads standards.

― Ste, Saturday, 12 January 2008 02:24 (sixteen years ago) link

Moonpig... Moonpig... MOONPIG... MOONPIG DOT COM

― Tom D., Saturday, 12 January 2008 13:17 (sixteen years ago) link

New slim fast advert, extended song.

pure fucking evil

― Jarlrmai, Saturday, 12 January 2008 13:30 (sixteen years ago) link

The one with Suggs where it's blatantly inferred that he's tapping the underage daughter.

― Lynskey, Saturday, 12 January 2008 13:33 (sixteen years ago) link

That new Halifax advert truly is the worst yet. I really really hate Howard even more and he's barely in it. Boycott the Halifax!!

― Herman G. Neuname, Saturday, 12 January 2008 15:37 (sixteen years ago) link

New slim fast advert, extended song.

pure fucking evil

Agreed - it makes me want to kill people whenever I see it. I thought "I'm snacking on PRETZELS!!11!!" was bad enough but this.... arghrghgrhgrhrghrhhhhh I blame the Americans. Every single one of those terms used is from the US of Uncle Stateside.

― Not the real Village People, Saturday, 12 January 2008 16:07 (sixteen years ago) link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfDsl0qaNSk

Internets

― Jarlrmai, Saturday, 12 January 2008 22:37 (sixteen years ago) link

confused.com ads are the worst. "hey you know what would look cool on TV? CLIP ART"

― blueski, Saturday, 12 January 2008 22:38 (sixteen years ago) link

the wistful american idol ads

― Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Saturday, 12 January 2008 22:50 (sixteen years ago) link

Carol Vorderman on Farmfoods. Does she really need the money?

― JTS, Sunday, 13 January 2008 10:51 (sixteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

it's not a detergent, it's a SAFE-TERGENT!!!!!!!!!

― DG, Saturday, 2 February 2008 15:29 (sixteen years ago) link

injurylawers4u ad with eastenders' johnny allen

I've just seen one of these. "You might think that suing others is selfish, but there's this little thing called karma. The universe needs a karmic balance and if you don't make them pay then the universe will implode and it will be your fault. Who's selfish now, eh?"

― limón, Saturday, 2 February 2008 16:25 (sixteen years ago) link

I don't understand why you'd want your company represented by a former bent copper/gangster.

― Noodle Vague, Saturday, 2 February 2008 16:27 (sixteen years ago) link

john hannah's smug caledonian face on those virgin atlantic ads

― DG, Saturday, 2 February 2008 20:44 (sixteen years ago) link

honourable mention to pc world

― DG, Sunday, 3 February 2008 12:17 (sixteen years ago) link

Perennial classic. Always love the bullshit random specs the "employees" are casually discussing.

― Noodle Vague, Sunday, 3 February 2008 12:26 (sixteen years ago) link

I dunno if it's 'worst', strictly, but bloody hell that Western Australia ad is a wee bit up itself. "Come and see the REAL Australia - It's four hours nearer than Sydney!"

― William Bloody Swygart, Sunday, 3 February 2008 12:27 (sixteen years ago) link

80 GIGABYTE HARD DISK???????????????????

― DG, Sunday, 3 February 2008 12:31 (sixteen years ago) link

WTF is 2 Gig of "Memory"?

― Noodle Vague, Sunday, 3 February 2008 12:32 (sixteen years ago) link

"We need Dual-Core and a 17" monitor!"

― William Bloody Swygart, Sunday, 3 February 2008 12:53 (sixteen years ago) link

i liked the one with the smiling silent Tech Guy who pops round to install your pc and presumably also to copy your keys and come back while you sleep and slit your throat

― DG, Sunday, 3 February 2008 12:55 (sixteen years ago) link

Has Karl Howman finally lost the Flash contract? RIP Big Fella

― Noodle Vague, Sunday, 3 February 2008 13:15 (sixteen years ago) link

Not annoying or anything, more just an abject (and presumably expensive) failure: the Virgin Broadband campaign with Uma Thurman. The original ones a year or so ago lit her in the most unflattering way, made her look really haggard, and gave her a terrible script that was cringemakingly charmless in its attempt to be what ... sultry? Intimate?

Now they've gone one step further with their "high-speed" push by putting her in a sodding wind tunnel so that her skin is pulled off her face faster than gravity can manage. It's horrible. Hiring a Hollywood pin-up to lend glamour to your product then systematically defiling her looks - not smart.

― Alba, Sunday, 3 February 2008 17:20 (sixteen years ago) link

Looking at them again on YouTube, I think I overstressed her looks in what makes them so bad. And I don't think it's intimacy or sultriness they're trying for. It's more just beating you over the head with what a big star they've landed, hoping that if they get her to say "I'm Uma Thurman, the sexy film star" as blatantly as possible, over and over again, we'll be impressed. Lady, if you have to tell us.

― Alba, Sunday, 3 February 2008 17:31 (sixteen years ago) link

one month passes...

oh hey the norton finance hurdle advert is back, a new era dawns

― DG, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 12:45 (sixteen years ago) link

The homoerotic Walker's Crisps one with Gary Lineker and the Arctic Monkeys.

― Dingbod Kesterson, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 13:00 (sixteen years ago) link

Looking at them again on YouTube, I think I overstressed her looks in what makes them so bad. And I don't think it's intimacy or sultriness they're trying for. It's more just beating you over the head with what a big star they've landed, hoping that if they get her to say "I'm Uma Thurman, the sexy film star" as blatantly as possible, over and over again, we'll be impressed. Lady, if you have to tell us.
-- Alba, Sunday, 3 February 2008 17:31 (1 month ago) Bookmark Link

Funnily enough, some interviewer asked her if she had Virgin Broadband, she said no as she hasn't got a home in the UK, and they don't serve the US. So, yeah.

― Mark G, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 13:27 (sixteen years ago) link

Didn't they replace her with Ruby Wax for a while? Or was that a nightmareish vision I had??

― JTS, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 14:24 (sixteen years ago) link

no it was real :(

― DG, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 14:31 (sixteen years ago) link

The new ones from the Spanish tourist board are... sinister. They have this family, but shoot them at really odd angles in a bleached-out-nouvelle-vague fashion with nothing but the sound of the sea fading in and out. It looks as though something really terrible is about to happen and then they're all 'Visit Spain!'

Yes, certainly, visit Spain and by the look of the adverts one of the following will happen:

- Mother falls into sea, drowns, leaving family to tear themselves apart in nightmare of guilt, grief and recrimination.
- Father sleeps with cocktail waitress, leaving family to tear themselves apart in nightmare of guilt, grief and recrimination.
- Child snatched a la Madeleine McCann, leaving family to tear themselves apart in nightmare of guilt, grief and recrimination.

― Anna, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 14:52 (sixteen years ago) link

The homoerotic Walker's Crisps one with Gary Lineker and the Arctic Monkeys.

Arctic Monkeys? Youtube comes up with nowt.

― Billy Dods, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 14:56 (sixteen years ago) link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5d0agRpuSo

this just confuses me

― Crackle Box, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 15:04 (sixteen years ago) link

The new ones from the Spanish tourist board are... sinister.

ha! you didn't see the ad for portugal

― DG, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 15:06 (sixteen years ago) link

This monstrosity

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLXMxU-FC1E

― Slumpman, Saturday, 15 March 2008 23:53 (sixteen years ago) link

really, how dare they!

― Slumpman, Saturday, 15 March 2008 23:54 (sixteen years ago) link

the currys ads are back too! three cheers

― DG, Saturday, 15 March 2008 23:55 (sixteen years ago) link

xp are they... crimping?

― ledge, Saturday, 15 March 2008 23:58 (sixteen years ago) link

That Sugar Puffs ad is a disgrace! No doubt the coke-raddled "creative" who pitched it would argue it's a homage to The Mighty Boosh, but fucking hell that is some seriously shitty crimp that they have come up with.

Horrible on its own terms and it even cheapens the crimps that have gone before. That almost defines imaginative bankruptcy!

― Bill A, Sunday, 16 March 2008 00:35 (sixteen years ago) link

It not only cheapens the crimp, it cheapens the honey monster. he was brought of retirement for this

― Slumpman, Sunday, 16 March 2008 00:37 (sixteen years ago) link

Damn right. Also, they bring the poor bastard back and he doesn't even get to drop a "Tell 'em about the honey, mummy". They've basically turned him into a Poochie...

― Bill A, Sunday, 16 March 2008 00:43 (sixteen years ago) link

fuck that sugar puffs ad on general principle, mighty boosh or no.

― Mikey Bidness, Sunday, 16 March 2008 02:05 (sixteen years ago) link

S'like when McDonalds ripped off Viz's Top Tips, innit.

― Bodrick III, Sunday, 16 March 2008 12:49 (sixteen years ago) link

Bruce Hutton, Bray Leino managing director, says: “Honey Monster is without doubt one of the classic TV ad characters. Having not been on screen for some years, we wanted to give Honey Monster the chance to express himself in a new contemporary way that only he could.

“But it was essential in doing this that we remained true to the tradition of him being seen as a fun character that kids everywhere would love to have at their breakfast tables. We feel his latest antics bring him up to date and have the power to get people talking.”

― Slumpman, Sunday, 16 March 2008 15:34 (sixteen years ago) link

really hate the advert that uses 'she's like a rainbow', whatever it's for.

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Tuesday, 18 March 2008 15:37 (sixteen years ago) link

With the rabbits! Sony Bravia. It's highly acclaimed, you're not allowed not to like it.

― Alba, Tuesday, 18 March 2008 16:52 (sixteen years ago) link

hate that song

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Tuesday, 18 March 2008 16:53 (sixteen years ago) link

I like that song, but seeing it every time I walk past the Sony concession in Debenhams is getting me tired of it.

― Mark G, Tuesday, 18 March 2008 16:56 (sixteen years ago) link

The one where the grandmother checks out Jamie Oliver's bum and he turns around and goes "cheeky!"

Makes me want to reach through the screen and strangle humanity.

― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 18 March 2008 17:42 (sixteen years ago) link

God yes. I hate how every twat standing around in that advert is pissing themselves laughing.

― chap, Tuesday, 18 March 2008 17:43 (sixteen years ago) link

hate that song

-- That one guy that hit it and quit it, Tuesday, 18 March 2008 16:53 (49 minutes ago)

would post to the 'posts very much in character' thread but, y'know

― blueski, Tuesday, 18 March 2008 17:43 (sixteen years ago) link

The latest Foster's advert is inoffensive enough apart from the way they've fucked around with the lyrics to Violent Femme's Blister in the Sun: instead of being 'strung out' he's 'hung out' (what does that even mean?), and instead of being 'high as a kite' he now claims to 'fly like a kite'.

― Nasty, Brutish & Short, Sunday, 23 March 2008 13:20 (sixteen years ago) link

The Toyota Yaris 'treat them with respect' adverts where they screw people up just because they happen to have shut the door with their feet or got a little dirt on their car. What a couple of self obsessed, judgemental, materialistic fucks.

― Billy Dods, Sunday, 23 March 2008 14:18 (sixteen years ago) link

ITV boat race ad, lol gladiator

― DG, Thursday, 27 March 2008 16:37 (sixteen years ago) link

DHS, chainsaw, wtf

― Dingbod Kesterson, Thursday, 27 March 2008 16:39 (sixteen years ago) link

DFS should be barred from this thread, they wipe the floor with everyone

― DG, Thursday, 27 March 2008 16:42 (sixteen years ago) link

Lenny Henry, Premier Inn - at last, Britain's own Jay Leno/Doritos/Point Of No Return.

― Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 28 March 2008 11:28 (sixteen years ago) link

What I find amazing is how certain adverts turn up on certain channels. OK, I admit it, I spend too much time watching NME TV (certainly far too much as I haven't read a copy in 8 years and am touching 40 years old but it's worth it to see my two year old son dancing to "Balloons"), but the adverts on there between the videos are so incongruous for the target audience - it's all Cilla Black selling life assurance and InjuryLawyers4U. WTF?

― Rob M v2, Friday, 28 March 2008 11:35 (sixteen years ago) link

Only pensioners read the NME?

SERIOUS SYSTEMS THINKING REQUIRED on part of CRACKPOT CONOR!!

― Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 28 March 2008 11:36 (sixteen years ago) link

Well, pensioners and doleites I guess.

― Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 28 March 2008 11:37 (sixteen years ago) link

And occasional househusbands like me.

― Rob M v2, Friday, 28 March 2008 11:40 (sixteen years ago) link

Lots of confused.com and Purple Loans input, I guess.

― Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 28 March 2008 11:45 (sixteen years ago) link

Gocompare, Moneysupermarket, but thankfully no Picture The Loan. Oh, but plenty of that dreadful One Account advert with that cheery chap in the call centre talking about shrinking people's mortgages.

(Speaking as a person currently sitting in a call centre taking calls, we are not like that at all)

― Rob M v2, Friday, 28 March 2008 11:48 (sixteen years ago) link

How many actual music-related adverts does NME TV get?

― Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 28 March 2008 12:07 (sixteen years ago) link

I'm thinking "David Garrett £7.27 at Tesco" level but as ever I stand to be corrected.

― Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 28 March 2008 12:07 (sixteen years ago) link

Apart from the NME advertising itself on a regular basis, precisely none.

― Rob M v2, Friday, 28 March 2008 12:10 (sixteen years ago) link

Lenny Henry, Premier Inn - at last, Britain's own Jay Leno/Doritos/Point Of No Return

Imagine his agent phoning up "that guy who was Hazell" and saying, "Hi, That Guy Who Was Hazell? It's your agent, here. Look, I've got a great job for you... yeah... how do you fancy pretending to be Lenny Henry's road manager/gay lover in a series of adverts for a middle-ranking hotel chain?"

― Tom D., Friday, 28 March 2008 12:12 (sixteen years ago) link

Those Taco Bell ad where everyone has long glops of melted cheese hanging out of their mouths is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen on tv.

― Rock Hardy, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 00:14 (sixteen years ago) link

All Government adverts re. benefit fraud, car crushing etc. with unsubtle subtext of WE RULE AND WE'LL GET YOU AND FUCK YOU UP ANY TIME WE LIKE

Anywhere else there would have been a revolution by now etc.

― Dingbod Kesterson, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 09:45 (sixteen years ago) link

And then there's the one where they blame climate change on us for leaving the TV on standby

― Tom D., Tuesday, 1 April 2008 09:49 (sixteen years ago) link

There's always Nicky Campbell to save us tho. (xpost)

― Mark G, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 09:51 (sixteen years ago) link

Can't I have Julia Bradbury instead?

― Dingbod Kesterson, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 09:54 (sixteen years ago) link

No mention of the Marks & Spencer 'Lighthouse keeper' ad? Ordinarily the idea of models cavorting on a beach wearing only underwear would fill me with glee but that ad makes me want to kick the tv box in.

― Billy Dods, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 09:56 (sixteen years ago) link

"how abought yghoooooo?"

The Kids' favourite, at the mo.

― Mark G, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 09:57 (sixteen years ago) link

As for the BT ads, get used to them - they're currently employing well-known writers to brainstorm new directions for our lovable telephone-obsessed family.

Fair enough, but do they have to be on all the time? So she's lost the folder with all the kids' photos? So as the kids were born before the advent of the digital camera, this means she must have digitised the originals and then BURNT THEM. Evil bitch.

― Tom D., Tuesday, 1 April 2008 10:00 (sixteen years ago) link

one word

Flake

― Ste, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 10:06 (sixteen years ago) link

Not as bad as I was expecting, the Joss Flake one.

M&S ads in general - awful, especially Erin "Thunderbirds Puppet" O'Connor and Myleene "Opening Of An Envelope" Klass.

Kris Marshall should be KRUCIFIED!

― Dingbod Kesterson, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 10:10 (sixteen years ago) link

-- Billy Dods, Tuesday, April 1, 2008 9:56 AM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Seriously, having watched these, I would ruin Erin O'Connor hardcore. Plasterer's radio, man.

― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 10:11 (sixteen years ago) link

I don't like the sound of that.

― Mark G, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 13:00 (sixteen years ago) link

That M&S Lighthouse Keeper advert goes in one eye and out the other, if you follow the analogy. Didn't even realise it was for M&S until you lot mentioned it, and I've seen it loads of times. Show how effective that was.

― Rob M v2, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 13:35 (sixteen years ago) link

That song just makes me think of A Clockwork Orange.

― Raw Patrick, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 13:40 (sixteen years ago) link

Show how effective that was.

most people would recognise the models from the previous M&S ads tho surely

― blueski, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 13:46 (sixteen years ago) link

Noemie Lenoir is somewhat hot in that ad too.

― Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 13:48 (sixteen years ago) link

Obviously wasn't watching too closely either. Frankly I wouldn't recognise these people if they thumped me in the face, except for Myleene Klass who I would thump back.

― Rob M v2, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 14:28 (sixteen years ago) link

Not of stalking standard Rob, huh?

― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 14:29 (sixteen years ago) link

sad to see the previously high-production-value woolite adverts head down the same shoddily-dubbed road as cillit bang :(

― DG, Tuesday, 1 April 2008 14:58 (sixteen years ago) link

The new Skechers advert. Sweet christ.

― William Bloody Swygart, Monday, 7 April 2008 22:36 (sixteen years ago) link

the Bianca Jackson Five thing is kind of an ad. and genuinely the worst thing i have ever seen.

― blueski, Monday, 7 April 2008 22:41 (sixteen years ago) link

That Tesco ad with Martin Clunes in a wetsuit and Fay Ripley demonstrating exactly why she doesn't have a TV career any more.

― ailsa, Monday, 7 April 2008 22:44 (sixteen years ago) link

The Clarks ad on uk tv that is trying far too hard to be wistfully twee with a catchy indie song a-la the sonybravia or tmobile ads. It Fails.

― Slumpman, Monday, 7 April 2008 23:01 (sixteen years ago) link

>The new Skechers advert. Sweet christ

OTM. Both of these ads (ie. mens and womens ranges) are of a quality that could be knocked up by three drunks with a camcorder in an afternoon. Given the size of the Skechers brand it boggles me that their marketing have actually okayed them. Also, those skechers are *hideous*.

― Bill A, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 10:26 (sixteen years ago) link

That Tesco ad is a satire on ridiculous product placements in dramas.

So, I vote it OK.

― Mark G, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 10:32 (sixteen years ago) link

aren't the Skechers ads meant to be deliberately/ironically naff? i haven't seen the latest ones tho

― blueski, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 10:39 (sixteen years ago) link

no wai she had a cannon ion 640x480 greyscale and all.

― Jarlrmai, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 10:47 (sixteen years ago) link

The new one where he drops his trousers and she ignores him and carries on talking to her friend on the phone is the oddest yet.

― Zoe Espera, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 11:05 (sixteen years ago) link

The Bianca Jackson Five will be the year's biggest selling single.

― Dingbod Kesterson, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 11:58 (sixteen years ago) link

Sketechers need to go back to being advertised by Christina Aguilera in PVC.

― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 8 April 2008 11:59 (sixteen years ago) link

the energy drink commercial that promises "zero sugar." zero is a number; it is not grammatically the same as "no." it's like saying "two sugar."

signed,
one pedant

― get bent, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 09:46 (sixteen years ago) link

Somerfield!

― DG, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 09:49 (sixteen years ago) link

one is also a number. You can say "one sugar" right?

― Mark G, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 09:53 (sixteen years ago) link

if you're in a greasy spoon!

― get bent, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 09:55 (sixteen years ago) link

Irrationality annoyed by the advert for the film "21", bit where they says "Taken from the true story." ... uhhhhhhhhhh, are you going to end that sentence? ... so... like, the true story.... what true story?... the true story?... the only one ever?... or the only one that has mattered in the lives of millions in the past few years, that I am some kind of inadequate for not being familiar with?... that true story?... The True Story?

― Tom D., Wednesday, 9 April 2008 10:00 (sixteen years ago) link

oh you know, *that* true story - a man goes to vegas and wins money on black jack. oh *that* one.

― Ste, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 10:22 (sixteen years ago) link

and Cadbury's have annoyed me yet again with their new 'oh look we're being clever and not referring to our product, OH BUT LOOK THE SKY IS PURPLE' airport racing advert.

but the trouble is, the advert itself is very very boring.

― Ste, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 10:24 (sixteen years ago) link

(Queen song is the only redeeming feature)

― Ste, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 10:24 (sixteen years ago) link

After seeing Highlander again recently I would like to see more adverts & movies featuring "Princes of the Universe". Best film beginning EVER

― Ste, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 10:25 (sixteen years ago) link

What a boring choice of song.

I was hoping for "The Lone Ranger" by Quantum Jump.

― Dingbod Kesterson, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 10:28 (sixteen years ago) link

Any advert with Samuel L. Jackson in it is annoying

― Tom D., Wednesday, 9 April 2008 10:29 (sixteen years ago) link

Also fed up hearing Judi Dench selling stuff

― Tom D., Wednesday, 9 April 2008 10:29 (sixteen years ago) link

An old gripe, but Tesco "Every little helps" catchphrase: every little WHAT helps WHOM???

― Neil S, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 10:48 (sixteen years ago) link

"Money" and "Tesco" of course.

― Dingbod Kesterson, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 11:04 (sixteen years ago) link

Dairy Milk ad is a hit with me purely for the AIRPORT VEHICLES ARE AWESOME angle

i went out and bought several this morning

― blueski, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 11:23 (sixteen years ago) link

one is also a number. You can say "one sugar" right?

If you treat 'sugar' as a countable noun (where it's short for 'one spoonful of sugar' or 'one lump of sugar') then they should really be saying "Zero sugars".

― Nasty, Brutish & Short, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 11:40 (sixteen years ago) link

u bought several airport vehicles this morning?

― Ste, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 13:06 (sixteen years ago) link

Also hate "... why go compare somewhere else?" I wouldn't "go compare" anywhere, thank you very much.

― Tom D., Wednesday, 9 April 2008 13:11 (sixteen years ago) link

All Direct Line Insurance slo-mo Zabriskie Point ripoff ads.

― Dingbod Kesterson, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 13:48 (sixteen years ago) link

the energy drink commercial that promises "zero sugar." zero is a number; it is not grammatically the same as "no." it's like saying "two sugar."

signed,
one pedant

We need a zero tolerance policy against this kind of thing.

― Jarlrmai, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 14:05 (sixteen years ago) link

isnt that an FDA thing, where they can say "zero," but not "no"?

― 69, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 14:12 (sixteen years ago) link

like its a small enough amount to technically qualify as "zero," like with trans fats

― 69, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 14:12 (sixteen years ago) link

All Direct Line Insurance slo-mo Zabriskie Point ripoff ads.

Yes, horribly pretentious and grating.

― Neil S, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 14:21 (sixteen years ago) link

I love the EastEnders Bianca Jackson Five ad/promo, but everytime I watch it I'm heart-broken when Phil fails to add a 'tell me that you love me' (or somesuch) when he walks past. It's just as the music pauses for a split second and would have ruled so much.

― marianna lcl, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 15:06 (sixteen years ago) link

Personally I'm heartbroken that Phil fails to open fire with his Kalashnikov on the lot of them when he walks past but that's just me.

― Dingbod Kesterson, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 15:11 (sixteen years ago) link

I would take even Sheila's Wheels over Biancacophonix. Mercy.

― blueski, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 15:23 (sixteen years ago) link

Ever so slightly off-topic (esp as I haven't seen it advertised), but Cadburys Flake Dipped would appear to be the exact same product as Cadburys Twirl. After emailing Cadburys to ask if this was the case, this is the totally enlightening response:
----
Cadbury Flake Dipped has been launched in response to requests from
Flake consumers for a form of their favourite bar that they could
enjoy whenever and wherever they are. The Flake Dipped product was
designed to meet their needs, with a light and delicate centre that
crumbles with every bite. Flake consumers are commonly female, 18-50,
who are looking for an indulgent treat.

Cadbury Twirl was launched in 1987. Its densely compacted centre and
twin-fingered format suit its role as a chocolate energy hit. It has
its own set of loyal consumers, who are often young males, under 30,
who are typically looking for a product that gives them the energy to
keep going through the day.

Extensive consumer research was undertaken to investigate the role of
these chocolate products, and this demonstrated that the two products
appeal to two different types of consumers and each of these is
looking for a different chocolate experience. Many consumers are
aware that both these products exist, but few regularly buy both.

Cadbury is committed to offering consumers a choice of products, and
both Twirl and Flake Dipped products will continue to be available
from a wide range of retailers.

We do value feedback and comments from our consumers and I have
passed your comments onto the Flake Brand Manager for his information.
------

Eh?

― Not the real Village People, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 17:22 (sixteen years ago) link

haha

― Ste, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 19:56 (sixteen years ago) link

I'll never understand the gender-based marketing of chocolate.

― blueski, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 20:06 (sixteen years ago) link

It's like Sheila's Wheels.

They want to attract women car drivers, as they have been seen to be both the most careful drivers, and more likely not to claim on insurance for smaller accidents.

But they aren't allowed to only accept female applications, that'd be sexist.

So, they make a product that is unattractive to boy racers.

― Mark G, Thursday, 10 April 2008 09:28 (sixteen years ago) link

Respect to Cadbury's for being so candid.

You should read David Foster Wallace's short story about confectionery market research.

― Alba, Thursday, 10 April 2008 09:37 (sixteen years ago) link

I wonder if the person who responded with the email talks like that in real life?

― Ste, Thursday, 10 April 2008 10:19 (sixteen years ago) link

Clearly they see language as a tool.

― Dingbod Kesterson, Thursday, 10 April 2008 10:25 (sixteen years ago) link

But they aren't allowed to only accept female applications, that'd be sexist

They aren't? What about Diamond and other insurers where that was an explicit condition of their cover?

― Mark C, Thursday, 10 April 2008 11:10 (sixteen years ago) link

Well, OK I was assuming...

But the ads don't exactly say "only girls", in fact they suggest that an okker in a pink dress could pass muster...

― Mark G, Thursday, 10 April 2008 11:14 (sixteen years ago) link

Mark how does this model translate to chocolate tho?

― blueski, Thursday, 10 April 2008 11:23 (sixteen years ago) link

Well, to attract women, make something that appeals 'exclusively' to women, and vice versa. Men get attracted to 'masculine' chocolate, and vice versa. Whereas both men and women don't get as attracted together to 'neuter' chocolate.

Well, you asked.

― Mark G, Thursday, 10 April 2008 11:29 (sixteen years ago) link

We now need to apply genders to Britains fave chocolate products.

Malteasers - Female
Snickers - Male

etc

― Jarlrmai, Thursday, 10 April 2008 12:31 (sixteen years ago) link

The VW ad that has the guy using his keyless remote to scare a couple away from the car he's already bought is my latest hate-on ad.

WTF with all these ads where the main message is "people who buy/use this product are repulsive jackasses?"

― Oilyrags, Thursday, 10 April 2008 13:04 (sixteen years ago) link

Crunchie, female
Toffee Crisp, male (and a scruffy one at that)

― Ste, Thursday, 10 April 2008 13:13 (sixteen years ago) link

WTF with all these ads where the main message is "people who buy/use this product are repulsive jackasses?"

Think there's a simple demographic answer to this one.

― Noodle Vague, Thursday, 10 April 2008 13:17 (sixteen years ago) link

hooray

― DG, Thursday, 17 April 2008 19:05 (sixteen years ago) link

Because Maltesers remind women of chocolate bollocks amirite???

― JTS, Thursday, 17 April 2008 21:45 (sixteen years ago) link

i hope that isn't a racial slur on howard brown

― DG, Thursday, 17 April 2008 21:50 (sixteen years ago) link

I was at the gym watching TV from afar when I first saw that bewildering Woolworths ad. I was like LOL that guy looks like a Woolworths version of Jackie Chan.. then I watched it for reals and :(

I just don't get who these ads are meant to appeal to?

Also, that fucking Kenco ad with the two sacks makes no sense. We don't even see any beans going into both of the two sacks let alone be given enough information to deduce that they are the same beans. Also if they are the same then why have two sacks marked "Instant" and "ground and roast"? I think they are LYING!

― Not the real Village People, Thursday, 17 April 2008 22:06 (sixteen years ago) link

So many car adverts that look like a computer graphics grad project right now. I hate the one where the car's being tossed around a horrible industrial estate by the buildings. And the other car ad that could only appeal to terrifying teutonic yuppies with genocide fantasies, but of course it's not because there's a lame joke at the end of the ad.

― the next grozart, Friday, 18 April 2008 00:16 (sixteen years ago) link

from that Halifax ad news story:

..and a waxwork model of Brown was exhibited in Madame Tussauds.

are they fucking kidding us?

― Ste, Friday, 18 April 2008 09:14 (sixteen years ago) link

Thierry Henry, Tiger Woods and the tennis bloke (whose name esacpes me right now) who are all good pals who like nothing more than a good shave and never even think about yesterday. Grrrrr.

― Nasty, Brutish & Short, Friday, 18 April 2008 10:29 (sixteen years ago) link

The Pot Noodle "Put the pan down" advert can fuck off as well.

― Dom Passantino, Friday, 18 April 2008 10:31 (sixteen years ago) link

The advert with the chef guy making the beat with the repetition of 'Sha' 'cla' or whatever he says. It's annoying but kinda funny too.

― Ste, Friday, 18 April 2008 10:38 (sixteen years ago) link

Always irritated by that accident insurance ad where the woman informs us that "... the floor was wet with no warning signs". Huh? Whussat?

― Tom D., Friday, 18 April 2008 10:41 (sixteen years ago) link

So many car adverts that look like a computer graphics grad project right now.

That one where they use some desperately uninteresting box of a car as a skateboard. So shit. And that one where the car is doing acrobatics off skyscrapers etc - total vertigo nightmare, that one. Ugh.

― Mark C, Friday, 18 April 2008 10:43 (sixteen years ago) link

i've noticed a lot more adverts liks to show cars getting smashed up these days

― blueski, Friday, 18 April 2008 10:49 (sixteen years ago) link

"It seems to me..." that james dyson could be fixing important problems rather than the steering on vacuumn cleaners (which nobody but him is complaining about anyway)

― koogs, Friday, 18 April 2008 21:01 (sixteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

The Samsung ad with the Chelsea players and ...Donna Air. Most conceptually vapid ad ever and looks like it took 3 minutes to make.

― Zoe Espera, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 07:35 (fifteen years ago) link

And it's not an ad, but the Gordon Ramsay Braveheart trailer. The sound quality is really bad and I can't tell what he says before and after the chefs run down the hill.

― Zoe Espera, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 07:58 (fifteen years ago) link

the pepsi max(?) ad, which seems to be random people in street picking a footballer and a plot point. the thing ends up as a mess.

the singing worm on that compost ad.

― koogs, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 08:33 (fifteen years ago) link

Ha, was about to say about the Pepsi Max ad - clearly none of the footy players featured have had to be in the same room at any moment during filming. Even at the 'party' at the end.

― Zoe Espera, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 08:39 (fifteen years ago) link

the pepsi max(?) ad, which seems to be random people in street picking a footballer and a plot point. the thing ends up as a mess

Yeah, that one sucks.

― the next grozart, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 08:40 (fifteen years ago) link

The moment of genius in that pepsi ad is that Fat Frank is only seen very briefly, but is EATING.

― aldo, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 08:41 (fifteen years ago) link

"I'm going to beeee a
choc'late di-ge-stive
choc choccy choc-cy
hn hn hn nhnnnn nuh"

Has me reaching for projectiles to launch at the telly. It's so grating. aghh

― Slumpman, Thursday, 8 May 2008 18:43 (fifteen years ago) link

For reference:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RY5cE2KNqC8&feature=related

― Slumpman, Thursday, 8 May 2008 18:44 (fifteen years ago) link

you'd think they'd regard the mcvities factory as something akin to auschwitz

― DG, Thursday, 8 May 2008 18:48 (fifteen years ago) link

http://www.visit4info.com/advert/02-Move-to-O2-Broadband-for-a-Happy-Home-O2/59181

Is your broadband making your home unhappy?

― koogs, Friday, 9 May 2008 09:08 (fifteen years ago) link

I can't cope with the awful adverts for heat - with the woman singing ni the car. They actually make me feel ill, like I'm in the first stages of a heavy cold, in a William-Gibson-Pattern-Recognition way.

― Anna, Friday, 9 May 2008 10:29 (fifteen years ago) link

The Visa wedding streaker at a time of DIRE ECONOMIC CRISIS

― Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 9 May 2008 10:44 (fifteen years ago) link

Pompous car advert - take your pick really - with female bodybuilder ("Is this beauty... or obsession"), CCTV ("Is this for our safety... or theirs"? (or something like that)) etc etc etc, shut up, it's a fucking car

― Tom D., Friday, 9 May 2008 10:46 (fifteen years ago) link

There's that advert for Berocca which is plainly ripped off the video for OK Go's single - you know, the one with them on treadmills.

― Rob M v2, Friday, 9 May 2008 10:55 (fifteen years ago) link

Sexy Mike Batt posing at the piano to promote his new album Where Is Summertime City Band?

― Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 9 May 2008 10:58 (fifteen years ago) link

The Carling advert where they're possibly in the Wild West or something I dunno.

― Dom Passantino, Saturday, 10 May 2008 23:15 (fifteen years ago) link

We've been whinging about this ad on the mongrel thread. Does it make you want to visit Melbourne?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnaWc8pxQgs

― moley, Sunday, 11 May 2008 04:52 (fifteen years ago) link

In fairness, it does give you some advance symbolic warning of Melbourne's traffic problems.

― moley, Sunday, 11 May 2008 04:53 (fifteen years ago) link

one month passes...

DIE, EVIL FHM-READING BULMERS ADVERT, DIE

― Just got offed, Thursday, 26 June 2008 20:43 (fifteen years ago) link

SQUEEZING THE LAST DREGS OF DIGNITY OUT OF THE BRITISH TELEVISION CORPORATIONS

― Just got offed, Thursday, 26 June 2008 20:44 (fifteen years ago) link

DOES ANYBODY ELSE FEEL THE SAME FURY

― Just got offed, Thursday, 26 June 2008 21:04 (fifteen years ago) link

Latest UK McDonalds advert (where adults and children are making a garden representing McD's foodstuffs) is a horrible piece of faux-sincere bullshit including:

1. Use of every tired cliché from every advert made in the last five years ie. indie-twee whistling song, outdoors setting, people working "togevver" to make pointless object which is revealed at the end.

2. Implication that teamwork and community are a part of McDonalds "core brand values".

3. Dreadful chummy reference to potatoes as "Spuds".

4. Hateful reprise of indie-twee whistling shitbaggery for "I'm Lovin' It" motif at end.

― Bill A, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 09:33 (fifteen years ago) link

otm, this got tiresome rapidly

― Ste, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 09:50 (fifteen years ago) link

Advertising needs to get nastier I think.

― the next grozart, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 10:07 (fifteen years ago) link

"Buy 1 Big Mac get 17 free, you cunts"

― blueski, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 10:21 (fifteen years ago) link

New McCoy's ad yet another celebration of pig-ignorant laddishness, apparently knowing about anything that isn't football is grounds for immediate banishment, possibly death.

― ledge, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 10:25 (fifteen years ago) link

What's up with that ad for a generic brand of Asian cars, featuring what appears to be a miniature version of The Feeling playing a shit song from inside the glove box?

― Neil S, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 10:28 (fifteen years ago) link

this one
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hq9stciOBTM

lol gender sterotypes/daily mail

― salsa shark, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 12:04 (fifteen years ago) link

o god yes

― ledge, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 12:16 (fifteen years ago) link

halifax strike again :(

― DG, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 12:26 (fifteen years ago) link

BT couple's relationship is on the skids :(

― DG, Tuesday, 22 July 2008 21:14 (fifteen years ago) link

that lynx bloke with the eyes. i can't see his appeal - even without the wonky eyes he looks like shaggy.

― koogs, Wednesday, 23 July 2008 12:07 (fifteen years ago) link

Fuck Off Nigel buys fuck off DVDs fuck off

― blueski, Friday, 25 July 2008 14:38 (fifteen years ago) link

nice to see the emergency campaign changes on DSG stores' adverts

― DG, Friday, 25 July 2008 14:41 (fifteen years ago) link

THAT.
FUCKING.
BULMERS.
ADVERT.

― Just got offed, Friday, 25 July 2008 14:41 (fifteen years ago) link

Paul Tomkinson needs dat money

― blueski, Friday, 25 July 2008 14:52 (fifteen years ago) link

*keeping track of the Esther Hall availability status*

― Mark C, Friday, 25 July 2008 15:27 (fifteen years ago) link

Fuck Off Nigel buys fuck off DVDs fuck off

^^^^^^This. Trying to make a meme out of their stupid anti-piracy campaign is super annoying.

― Neil S, Friday, 25 July 2008 15:37 (fifteen years ago) link

DFS nickelback

― conrad, Friday, 25 July 2008 18:29 (fifteen years ago) link

Please stop rapping about Sugar Puffs.

― Neil S, Saturday, 26 July 2008 12:47 (fifteen years ago) link

http://youtube.com/watch?v=sDQfeXHiSNc

― conrad, Saturday, 26 July 2008 12:51 (fifteen years ago) link

Uurgh so bad.

― Neil S, Saturday, 26 July 2008 12:53 (fifteen years ago) link

just recently left uk for canada, so i feel your pain esp re: halifax. but the adverts here are seriously 10x worse. this one is on all the fucking time and the tune has burrowed its way deep into my head, but this insanity makes up for it somewhat.

― spaghetti, Saturday, 26 July 2008 13:00 (fifteen years ago) link

"I'm the cashman" probably best advert ever.

― the next grozart, Saturday, 26 July 2008 13:06 (fifteen years ago) link

Cashman sounds like an extremely low rent Batman villain.

― snoball, Saturday, 26 July 2008 13:14 (fifteen years ago) link

KILL EVERYONE INVOLVED IN THIS ABOMINATION:
http://www.i-am-everyone.co.uk/home.php

― Neil S, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 13:43 (fifteen years ago) link

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

can't believe i didn't raise the issue here myself

― Just got offed, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 13:45 (fifteen years ago) link

There is a specific level of hell reserved for the people who conceive mobile phone adverts

― The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 13:45 (fifteen years ago) link

I am all the ILX posters I've zinged, and all the ones I'm yet to zing.

― Just got offed, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 13:47 (fifteen years ago) link

^^^ self-zing

― Just got offed, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 13:47 (fifteen years ago) link

2. Implication that teamwork and community are a part of McDonalds "core brand values".

-- Bill A, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 10:33 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

Would say that they are.

― The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 13:48 (fifteen years ago) link

Jont is a Twont, his sole purpose seems to be to make James Blunt, Chris Martin, and the guy from Travis slightly less punchable.
FFS that Orange ad though - "I am the bloke I will meet travelling who will teach me to play the guitar" - er, no, by the look of him he'll teach you how to squeal like a pig, boy!
I hardly watch TV anymore anyway, so it's "nice" to see what Orange are actually doing (making wanky TV ads) when they should be making with the fixing on their f***ing e-mail servers.

― snoball, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 13:54 (fifteen years ago) link

I would pay Orange not to have those people come round to my house, if I had to.

― Neil S, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 13:58 (fifteen years ago) link

x-post

My poorly made point here was, I suppose, that surly 18 year old "Johnny No Stars" McDs staff (teamwork) and McDs general efforts to cram its grease-n-salt specials into as many mouths as possible (community) are perhaps not most honestly represented by men, women and children happily working together to make a garden.

― Bill A, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 13:59 (fifteen years ago) link

x-post

Maybe that's their new business model? Pay up, or we send the unutterably awful folk singers round to caterwaul in your living room?

― Neil S, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 14:01 (fifteen years ago) link

Perhaps Orange's priorities should be:

1) fix the bottleneck problems at the e-mail server farm at smtp.0r4ng3h0m3.c0.uk so that people can, you know, actually send e-mail
2) fix d/l speeds so that someone who lives less than a mile from the exchange can maybe get somewhere near the advertised 8 meg
3) make some wanky TV commercials
4) send a public school trustafarian hipster with an acoustic guitar and a hat three sizes too small to people's houses

...instead of their current priorities which seem to be that list completely reversed...

― snoball, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 14:06 (fifteen years ago) link

During all of my 32 years on this earth I hadn't once considered forcing my thumbs into my eye sockets to forcibly blind myself...until now. Not since Oedipus realised he was unlikely to win "Son Of The Year" has there been such a good reason to deny yourself the gift of sight. The rock star advert manages to offend on a number of levels. The song itself is predictably middle of the road and is at best only midly contemporary having been released in the UK in November 2007. However, this lazy approach at stradling popular culture pales into insignificance compared to the visual car crash that is the god awful bunch of performing monkeys who mime and play air guitar during the advert. Each one gives me a different reason to hate them - whether it's the funk-free black guy, the sexless desperate blonde, anoxeric coked-up brunette, fat gran or gay dad, watching each of them makes me convulse with embarrassment. I detest them all.

But more than anything, I hate myself for watching it. Well done DFS, you've hit a new low.

― conrad, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 15:43 (fifteen years ago) link

from the dfs wikipedia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dfs_%28retailer%29

― conrad, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 15:43 (fifteen years ago) link

lol amazing

― Just got offed, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 15:46 (fifteen years ago) link

Richard Hammond talking about meat while staring unblinkingly at the camera in a disturbingly creepy way

― snoball, Saturday, 2 August 2008 10:09 (fifteen years ago) link

I wonder if Jont minds if your phone goes off in the middle of his song.

― James Mitchell, Saturday, 2 August 2008 11:16 (fifteen years ago) link

If your ringtone was by a rival acoustic folkster tossbag, that'd really put him off...

― snoball, Saturday, 2 August 2008 11:51 (fifteen years ago) link

Did anyone catch this last night?

― Dingbod Kesterson, Monday, 11 August 2008 14:33 (fifteen years ago) link

That Linx advert where the guy's eyes go all funny creeps me out - also uncomfortably reminds me of a Jerry Sadowitz routine about blind people, "I hope it's not one of those ple with the boggly eyes that go all over the place"

― Tom D., Monday, 11 August 2008 14:40 (fifteen years ago) link

(xpost) here it is...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvT7GiUUAvA

― snoball, Monday, 11 August 2008 15:03 (fifteen years ago) link

missed the heart attack one but saw the orangina furries :(

― DG, Monday, 11 August 2008 15:04 (fifteen years ago) link

I shouldn't make light of it, as two of my grandparents died from heart disease, but it kind of makes having a heart attack look like the video to "Smack My Bitch Up". Except instead of a stripper, it's... Johnny Ball? Ade Edmondson? No, I got it, Steven Berkoff!

― snoball, Monday, 11 August 2008 15:06 (fifteen years ago) link

(xpost) Imagine if the adverts were mixed up? "having a heart attack is like furry pr0n" vs "drinking Orangina is like getting beaten up by Steven Berkoff"

― snoball, Monday, 11 August 2008 15:07 (fifteen years ago) link

imagine him as a furry

― DG, Monday, 11 August 2008 15:09 (fifteen years ago) link

crappy TV commercials are not a new thing...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aV5MnagQenc
I think the guy doing the voiceover on the Corona ad is trying to impersonate Phil Silvers...
This is fucking dreadful as well...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8dKSl3YLm0&feature=related
...become a miner, learn to impress the neighbours with the psychotic Fanny Craddock, or emigrate to Australia

― snoball, Monday, 11 August 2008 15:20 (fifteen years ago) link

cactus kid crap

― conrad, Wednesday, 13 August 2008 08:36 (fifteen years ago) link

otm, "for people who don't like water", like that's a real viable demographic and not just some kind of bullshit pose (apologies to anyone here who "doesn't like water").

― ledge, Wednesday, 13 August 2008 08:41 (fifteen years ago) link

the one where the girls make their dad dye his hair, because "he's ready and would be "a good catch". wtf is going on?

― stevie, Wednesday, 13 August 2008 08:48 (fifteen years ago) link

the one where the girls make their dad dye his hair, because "he's ready and would be "a good catch". wtf is going on?

-- stevie, Wednesday, 13 August 2008 08:48 (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

That one was an eye opener. I came away with the conclusion that it was actually a very good ad.

― the next grozart, Wednesday, 13 August 2008 09:21 (fifteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Seat (car, not chair) advert with "crazy" employees doing zany stuff, soundtracked by an Avalanches rip-off.

― Neil S, Thursday, 28 August 2008 17:45 (fifteen years ago) link

three months pass...

Campaign Magazine's ten worst TV adverts of 2008.

― Brother Belcher (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 11 December 2008 13:45 (fifteen years ago) link

Can't really argue with those, tho I still insist the John Lydon one isn't that bad

― Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:14 (fifteen years ago) link

Apart from anything else, the Gillette one annoys me because Thierry Henry is not even remotely in the same league as Tiger Woods and Roger Federer

― Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:16 (fifteen years ago) link

in what sense?

― what U cry 4 (jim), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:17 (fifteen years ago) link

As a sportsman

― Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:18 (fifteen years ago) link

As an actor, he's better, I'll give him that

― Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:19 (fifteen years ago) link

well football is a team game so you can't really stand-out as much as in golf or tennis but he's not exactly been unsuccessful.

― what U cry 4 (jim), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:20 (fifteen years ago) link

But he's never been considered the greatest in his sport at any given time, let alone a possible G.O.A.T. like the other two

― Seanadams Molloy (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:21 (fifteen years ago) link

He's not even the best footballer of his generation, let alone one of the best footballers of al time

― Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:21 (fifteen years ago) link

Although I dunno if an advert with Henry, Ian Poulter and Mardy Fish would have worldwide appeal.

― Seanadams Molloy (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:22 (fifteen years ago) link

In South America I seem to remember it being Kaká instead of Henry.

― what U cry 4 (jim), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:31 (fifteen years ago) link

I think he deserves it more than Henry

― Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:34 (fifteen years ago) link

in fact I'm talking crap it was Kaká with Rafa Marquez and some brazilian now that I think of it. Not the same campaign.

― what U cry 4 (jim), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:35 (fifteen years ago) link

Henry probably as famous as the other two because he plays an almost universally popular sport and thus makes sense from a marketing point of view?

― what U cry 4 (jim), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:36 (fifteen years ago) link

Lydon/Country Life advert is fine

This new apparently global Mr Muscle advert is the worst of the year just for sheer lameness - not a patch on those old ones with the 'hilariously' weedy bespectacled guy

― Yentl vs Predator (blueski), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:36 (fifteen years ago) link

plus a lot of women I know fancy him while none fancy Federer or Tiger.

― what U cry 4 (jim), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:36 (fifteen years ago) link

should've had real athlete Phil Taylor instead of Henry

― Yentl vs Predator (blueski), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:37 (fifteen years ago) link

plus a lot of women I know fancy him while none fancy Federer or Tiger.

I see, this advert is aimed at the niche bearded lady market?

― Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:40 (fifteen years ago) link

who is a more preferable role model to your nuts reading 18-30 male, goofy looking guy who is good at golf/tennis or footballer who women would like to fuck?

― what U cry 4 (jim), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:41 (fifteen years ago) link

a woman might wanna get a man a razor

that seat advert is all-time FOAD

― country matters, Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:42 (fifteen years ago) link

There's a few adverts now that have some kind of awful drippy neo-avant-folk warbling rubbish on their soundtracks that force me to dive to hit the mute button whenever they come on.

― Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:46 (fifteen years ago) link

that's not the worst of the gilette adverts (although it is terrible, 'i never think about yesterday'), the worst one is where they are bullying that poor bloke by firing tennis balls at him whilst he's trying to shave.

o_O at that orangina advert though.

― koogs, Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:49 (fifteen years ago) link

all "you have to be INSANE to produce a car like this" then a fucking shitty mundane family hatchback appears at the end, like a bad joke told by idiots

― country matters, Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:50 (fifteen years ago) link

There's that new Renault advert that goes "remember when you said you'd never buy a Renault?", because it a) implies that Renaults were once shite, b) further implies that now they're not shite. Hint: they are more shite than ever, evidenced by the new model Megane which looks like every nondescript family car currently being made.

― snoball, Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:53 (fifteen years ago) link

There's that new Renault advert that goes "remember when you said you'd never buy a Renault?"

I, mentally, say "no" every time I hear that

― Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:55 (fifteen years ago) link

It's like that other advert about "your house smelling of fish"... but it doesn't

― Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:55 (fifteen years ago) link

Adverts are crap if they do not 'advertise', right?

Still like the Lydon one.

The Lenny Premierinn one is alright, it's where I end up living when I'm away. Hey, it could have been worse.

The Orangina one is pretty dumb/doesnotwork. The Renault/dubbing one is poor/cheap.

xpost the kids are both "ha, dad, did you ever say that? did yer? ay?" and I go "Anyone fancy walking to school tomorrow, hmm?"

Apart from that, the rest I do not care for or against.

― Mark G, Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:56 (fifteen years ago) link

Out of these ten the one which still reeks most of Pass The Hat/Pull The Trigger is the Lenny Henry Premier Inns one. Why oh why oh why &c.

― Brother Belcher (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 11 December 2008 14:58 (fifteen years ago) link

His career was going so well too

― Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Thursday, 11 December 2008 15:00 (fifteen years ago) link

It was poor old Hazell I felt sorry for.

― Brother Belcher (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 11 December 2008 15:02 (fifteen years ago) link

Henry: "I've found something that's small time"
snoball: "Your career prospects?"
Henry: "There's nothing small time about my career. This Christmas I'll be presenting another hilarious show featuring two year old clips from YouTube."

― snoball, Thursday, 11 December 2008 15:02 (fifteen years ago) link

Oh hold on, is this Thierry or Lenny we're talking about here?

― Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Thursday, 11 December 2008 15:04 (fifteen years ago) link

It was poor old Hazell I felt sorry for.

I imagine him turning to his agent and saying, "Why don't you just put the gun to my head right now..."

― Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Thursday, 11 December 2008 15:05 (fifteen years ago) link

They must have been mentioned before, but the WKD 'Do you have a wicked side?' commercials cause a dull, wrenching pain in my sternum.

Trying to sustain the pretense that their target buyers are not young teenagers but absolute twats so juvenile their taste buds will only accept alcohol in the form of fizzy pop.

― GamalielRatsey, Thursday, 11 December 2008 15:07 (fifteen years ago) link

Thierry reps for Gilette, Lenny for Holiday Inn. The "small time" quote is something Len says in the advert.

― snoball, Thursday, 11 December 2008 15:09 (fifteen years ago) link

"Past your late teens but still behave like a stupid cock? Then drink WNKR."

― snoball, Thursday, 11 December 2008 15:11 (fifteen years ago) link

to be fair Lenny Henry did recently get a part in Othello

― Yentl vs Predator (blueski), Thursday, 11 December 2008 15:18 (fifteen years ago) link

LH: "To mourn a mischief that is past and gone is the next way to draw new mischief on... and with that, on to our next hilarious GoogleTubeYouVideo clip!"

― snoball, Thursday, 11 December 2008 15:29 (fifteen years ago) link

i think he's playing Bianca

― Yentl vs Predator (blueski), Thursday, 11 December 2008 15:33 (fifteen years ago) link

Who's playing Ricky?

― Ich Ber ein Binliner (Tom D.), Thursday, 11 December 2008 15:33 (fifteen years ago) link

David van Day.

― Brother Belcher (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 11 December 2008 16:14 (fifteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

aargh "Posh Pringles" "look, the bag matches yours" FUCK YOU!!!

― Neil S, Tuesday, 30 December 2008 14:11 (fifteen years ago) link

Seat still winning "worst of year" imo.

― claudestock carpentinieri (country matters), Tuesday, 30 December 2008 14:38 (fifteen years ago) link

"(the) confused.com (website) remembers you and your details!" oh wow thx it's like living in the 21st century!!! you smug bastard diediedie

― snoball, Tuesday, 30 December 2008 15:23 (fifteen years ago) link

"step out of the carYOU HAD TWO PINTS THAT'S A 2 YEAR BANIt's company policy I gotta let you goI KNOWW ITS ONLY GOT 2,000 MILES ON THE CLOCK BUT THAT'S MY FINAL OFFERahh that's just GREAT MATT!! No JOb, No Car, NOW WHAT!!?????" - "So, what's it gonna be?"

He has to be the worst barman ever.

― Mark G, Tuesday, 6 January 2009 13:53 (fifteen years ago) link

^^^ irritating advert, but at least it's a shift in focus from "you might run someone over" to "you'll experience misfortune". So it's probably more effective, because drink drivers don't give a shit about other people, but they do care about themselves.

― snoball, Tuesday, 6 January 2009 13:56 (fifteen years ago) link

alt punchline: "I'll have one of what you had"

― Mark G, Tuesday, 6 January 2009 13:58 (fifteen years ago) link

barman: "ok then, roll up your sleeve and hold out your arm..."

― snoball, Tuesday, 6 January 2009 13:59 (fifteen years ago) link

alt punchline: "I'll have one of what you had"

"... and it said Happy Hour between 5 and 7"

― Vicious Cop Kills Gentle Fool (Tom D.), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 14:00 (fifteen years ago) link

"I BET YOU DIDN'T THINK EVEREST WOULD DO THAT TODAY, DID YOU!!!"

FUCK OFF!!!

― snoball, Tuesday, 6 January 2009 14:27 (fifteen years ago) link

Compare The Market with their SPECIAL FIVE-STAR RATING SYSTEM OMG IT'S SO SPECIAL

― Timezilla vs Mechadistance (blueski), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 14:38 (fifteen years ago) link

the barman advert isn't bad at all. it won an ad award for best casting somewhere because he has to do a range of 'characters' so quickly ha.

― Timezilla vs Mechadistance (blueski), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 14:39 (fifteen years ago) link

I know, I just wanted to say "worst barman ever" so..

― Mark G, Tuesday, 6 January 2009 14:41 (fifteen years ago) link

I don't know about that, I reckon I've been served by worse

― Vicious Cop Kills Gentle Fool (Tom D.), Tuesday, 6 January 2009 14:42 (fifteen years ago) link

http://blogs.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/ianwylie/almurray300-thumb.jpg

― snoball, Tuesday, 6 January 2009 15:04 (fifteen years ago) link

that iggy pop car insurance advert is starting to boil my piss

― vain_bowers, Sunday, 11 January 2009 18:30 (fifteen years ago) link

I don't know whether this Microsoft Songsmith ad is on TV anywhere, but it is one of the most nightmarish things you will ever see. It's as if Stuff White People Like became a musical.

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=3oGFogwcx-E

And if you want to drive the pylon all the way through your skull:

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=jewxFiDQ22w&feature=related

― moley, Tuesday, 13 January 2009 09:46 (fifteen years ago) link

one month passes...

mu-uum, i want. to. do. ae. poo.
but. i want. to. do. ae. poo. in pauuls bathroom.

― jed_, Friday, 20 February 2009 23:46 (fifteen years ago) link

Is that an advert?

― Chewshabadoo, Friday, 20 February 2009 23:55 (fifteen years ago) link

unfortunately, yes. a uk advert for a bathroom air freshener but it's been dubbed from a continental ad.

― jed_, Saturday, 21 February 2009 00:12 (fifteen years ago) link

― jed_, Saturday, 21 February 2009 00:13 (fifteen years ago) link

red bull one with man in car ith his mum...
why?

― not_goodwin, Saturday, 21 February 2009 01:22 (fifteen years ago) link

five hour long bob dylan cooperative bank stfu

― ledge, Sunday, 22 February 2009 20:48 (fifteen years ago) link

Oh crikey yes - went to the cinema yesterday and they had the full length version of that co-op ad on ie. the whole of "blowin' in the wind". Made me want to rampage in the aisle and burn the fucking place down.

― Bill A, Sunday, 22 February 2009 20:53 (fifteen years ago) link

Paul's ~~Bathroom~~ Boutique
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/07/BeastieBoysPaul%27sBoutique.jpg

― snoball, Sunday, 22 February 2009 21:09 (fifteen years ago) link

one month passes...

the volvic challenge?

seriously?

― EMPIRE STATE HYMEN (MPx4A), Monday, 20 April 2009 18:15 (fifteen years ago) link

one month passes...

revive, because I've just seen an advert for a compilation CD called "101 Housework Songs" - 101 tracks with some vague connection to housework, and I mean vague, like Queen's "I Want To Break Free"

― snoball, Wednesday, 17 June 2009 21:51 (fourteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

I know it's deliberate and he's probably an actor but I would dearly like to dance wearing hobnail stilettos on the knackers of that Tiny Tim-looking twat on the Confused.com ads.

― My Slow Descent into Assholism (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 11:06 (fourteen years ago) link

I Want To Break Free's connection with housework is not tenuous!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVYgRPfC9nQ

― Alba, Wednesday, 8 July 2009 12:09 (fourteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-yEWZTBQ64

My fury at this advert peaks at around 18 seconds and then has nowhere else to go.

― Slumpman, Monday, 27 July 2009 21:59 (fourteen years ago) link

http://www.thefloatingfrog.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/tango_hi_res-9-500x749.jpg

WHAT

― jed_, Monday, 27 July 2009 22:18 (fourteen years ago) link

Can I take a second here to rant about the dessert-flavored yogurts that apparently help you lose weight and also act like a complete asshole?

- In the first commercial a woman walks into a cleaner's and tells the older woman behind the counter that she needs her clothes taken in, because she's been eating loads of Key Lime and Boston Cream pie. The older woman pretty sensibly suggests that she must mean she needs her clothes let out. Then the yogurt lady gets all argumentative and smug about it, as if it's the cleaner's fault for thinking "Boston Cream pie" refers to a pie and not yogurt.

- In the next one a woman is bragging on the phone about how she's lost weight, and how it's all due to the Key Lime pie and the Boston Cream pie and whatnot, which she always keeps some of in the house. Her husband, hearing this, starts looking around in the fridge for the pie she allegedly always keeps there. His wife then turns around and says "what are you doing, babe?" It seems to me that the answer is: he is looking in his own home refrigerator for the fucking pie you are claiming is in there, so get off his back, smug yogurt jerk.

- In the next one the husband from the previous one is bragging on the phone to his friend about how he's dropped a few pounds, all via eating Key Lime pie and Boston Cream pie, etc., and his wife reprises her "what are you doing, babe" zing and makes fun of him for acting like said pies were actually pies and not in fact yogurt flavors. I don't really get the comedic logic of this, as it seems to me that he was trying the exact same dumb-ass thing she was doing, and now she's not just a smug jerk but a hypocrite to boot.

^^ what gets me about the third commercial is that by reprising previous characters in the series they seem to be acting as if this campaign were somehow well-liked and successful, which if that's the case I might need to leave the country

― nabisco, Monday, 27 July 2009 22:19 (fourteen years ago) link

(I am assuming y'all are find with this thread being transAtlanticized)

― nabisco, Monday, 27 July 2009 22:20 (fourteen years ago) link

Ditto for Taco Bell. First there was a commercial where one asshole talks his asshole buddy into not tipping a barista (played by Andrew from Buffy!) because that change could be better spent on some slop wrapped up in a tortilla. Now there's that one where another asshole goes around stealing change from "give a penny, take a penny" trays because he apparently has no source of income.

I also hate those Bing ads that act as if Googling something is SO HARD. Oh my god, I typed in "back pain" and got something about back to school sales! The internet is so difficult!

― lindseykai, Monday, 27 July 2009 22:35 (fourteen years ago) link

Addition to the hassled husband genre: the guy who sees his wife has switched to a healthier Cheerio breakfast and asks if she's trying to lose weight. You look like a nice lady, wife, but seriously, it's an innocent and supportive question and you protest too much.

― nabisco, Monday, 27 July 2009 22:43 (fourteen years ago) link

The weird thing about that commercial is they used it years ago for a different variety of Cheerios and just superimposed the new box over the original. It looks terrible. I think they re-dubbed the voices too. Pretty cheap, General Mills.

― lindseykai, Monday, 27 July 2009 23:03 (fourteen years ago) link

always feel bad for that guy because the fridge is stocked solely with his fat wife's yogurt. never realized there was a sequel.

― bnw, Monday, 27 July 2009 23:09 (fourteen years ago) link

worst at the moment is the palm one with the translucent albino chick talking about how she can't handle the thought of reincarnation because she lives multiple lives now and boy howdy that is only maintainable because she has a palm pilot and is an alien/hippy.

― bnw, Monday, 27 July 2009 23:11 (fourteen years ago) link

omg yes, what is with that? is she supposed to seem "futuristic" or something?

― nabisco, Monday, 27 July 2009 23:25 (fourteen years ago) link

I think they re-dubbed the voices too

Oh, I noticed this, too! It doesn't sound right.

― tokyo rosemary, Tuesday, 28 July 2009 00:13 (fourteen years ago) link

Bostone Creme pie yogurt tastes so gross btw.

― tokyo rosemary, Tuesday, 28 July 2009 00:14 (fourteen years ago) link

I don't know whether to talk about the Dos Equis "Most Interesting Man in the World" commercials here or on the "Best TV Adverts" thread.

― Beanbag the Gardener (WmC), Tuesday, 28 July 2009 01:44 (fourteen years ago) link

For one thing, he looks like a homeless bum that some PA found and stuck in some nice clothes.

― Beanbag the Gardener (WmC), Tuesday, 28 July 2009 01:45 (fourteen years ago) link

So long as I'm on the gender-roles beat here, there's this:

Can you believe there's a new commercial where a guy walks up to a random hotel employee, rips her shirt off, pins her arms above her head, applies some body spray to her abdomen, and then walks confidently off into the night?

Wait, no. That can't be right, can it? Who would run an ad like that? That would be horrifying, a commercial where some guy strips and restrains and dominates some poor chambermaid just to demonstrate his own power. That would be promoting sexual assault. I must be misremembering something.

Oh, right, I remember now: it's actually a confident, sophisticated woman who tears up a bellhop's shirt, covering his face and pinning his arms above his head, and then tests her deodorant on his abs, while he stands in passive awe at how bold and empowered she is.

I guess that's better.

― nabisco, Tuesday, 28 July 2009 17:31 (fourteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

WE HAVE NO R

― conrad, Tuesday, 18 August 2009 20:18 (fourteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

It's on the radio, not telly, but the WE BUY ANY CAR, WE BUY ANY CAR, WE BUY ANY CAR, ANY ANY ANY ANY, WE BUY ANY CAR one.

― James Mitchell, Sunday, 13 September 2009 21:25 (fourteen years ago) link

Apparently it is a TV ad too:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-yEWZTBQ64

I'm sorry.

― James Mitchell, Sunday, 13 September 2009 21:28 (fourteen years ago) link

this, especially the WONGA guy who has inspired some remix videos already

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sJW0LKXeOE

― zappi, Sunday, 13 September 2009 21:50 (fourteen years ago) link

After watching the Envirophone ad too many times, I have realised you can make any advert better by inserting "...and it's good for the environment!" randomly in it.

― If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate (aldo), Sunday, 13 September 2009 21:55 (fourteen years ago) link

one month passes...

"And always, it has to be Heinz" = GO FUCK YERSELVES. TV equivalent of saying "lock thread" or "end of".

Also reminds of Robert Lindsay being the smuggest smug cunt in the world on those Morrison's adverts a couple of months back, surprised I didn't lay into that shit at the time.

― Erol "Bomber" Alkan (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:14 (fourteen years ago) link

Really? Don't remember it.

"Power to the People" ?

― Mark G, Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:24 (fourteen years ago) link

I'm sure (and I'm sure you all know too) that they make crap ads on purpose, just so's standup comedians can use them in their routines and mention the product while doing so.

Child that wants to evacuate his bowels at McCartney's abode, for instance...

― Mark G, Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:26 (fourteen years ago) link

Lindsay ad was like "I just want fresh fish that costs tuppence and gets served to me by some dude in a Victorian fishmongers outfit tugging his fucking forelock" middle class entitlement horse cobblers

― Erol "Bomber" Alkan (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:28 (fourteen years ago) link

The ad is very similar to Hammond's "I just want meat", in that they're both pushing supermarket trolleys through the countryside.

― a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:36 (fourteen years ago) link

I take it as read that Hammond's gonna reek of smug entitlement tho

― Erol "Bomber" Alkan (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:37 (fourteen years ago) link

ah right. Good old brane, filtering out the crap just for me..

― Mark G, Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:37 (fourteen years ago) link

It's the way Lindsay delivers "Is that too much to ask?" in the same voice as the Fast Show "...which was nice" character.

― Erol "Bomber" Alkan (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:38 (fourteen years ago) link

Worse thing about Hammond ad is his "look" - 40 something geezer still trying to look like he's 20

― The Prince's choice: making a brush. (Tom D.), Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:38 (fourteen years ago) link

DUDE THAT'S MY WHOLE STEEZ

― Erol "Bomber" Alkan (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:39 (fourteen years ago) link

We call this "doing a Lovejoy"
http://www.bbc.co.uk/essex/content/images/2009/01/29/lovejoy_cast_470_470x352.jpg

― a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:42 (fourteen years ago) link

Nah, Hammond's look is a million times worse

― The Prince's choice: making a brush. (Tom D.), Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:45 (fourteen years ago) link

Mine too, xpost.

However, Lovejoy "looks like 20" in what way exactly?

― Mark G, Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:45 (fourteen years ago) link

Mark, you telling me you've got hair like Hammond - that's the worst part

― The Prince's choice: making a brush. (Tom D.), Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:46 (fourteen years ago) link

trying to look like he's 20...

― a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:46 (fourteen years ago) link

...not necessarily succeeding. At all.

― a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:46 (fourteen years ago) link

hmm, I'll give you "30" but who looks twenty in that? Citation, or it's untrue...

― Mark G, Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:50 (fourteen years ago) link

Lovejoy is classic, Hammond dud

― The Prince's choice: making a brush. (Tom D.), Thursday, 29 October 2009 11:51 (fourteen years ago) link

http://www.keysalive.com/hammond.jpg

― Mark G, Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:01 (fourteen years ago) link

^ nice legs

― The Prince's choice: making a brush. (Tom D.), Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:02 (fourteen years ago) link

Mark G posts "shame about the face" in 5...4...3...

― Erol "Bomber" Alkan (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:03 (fourteen years ago) link

"...shame about the bass... uh, pedals"

― The Prince's choice: making a brush. (Tom D.), Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:04 (fourteen years ago) link

Not while "The Monks" are the band formed by US stationed army personnel that took raw protopunk formats to the Germans, and not two ex-Stawbs, I don't!

― Mark G, Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:11 (fourteen years ago) link

shame about the fascia...

― a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:12 (fourteen years ago) link

'lovejoy was ace' is the new 40 trying to look 20 btw

― you can have this tapdance here for free (darraghmac), Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:14 (fourteen years ago) link

We buy any car is the BEST advert of the moment you menkos.

― Chewshabadoo, Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:25 (fourteen years ago) link

the donk isn't big enough

― modescalator (blueski), Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:26 (fourteen years ago) link

https://www.media.mit.edu/resenv/classes/MAS963/history/korg_images/korg01doncamatic.gif

― a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:30 (fourteen years ago) link

the donk isn't big enough

I will concede, but like Touch'n'Fresh they had to make some smooth out some of the rough edges for the mainstream.

― Chewshabadoo, Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:36 (fourteen years ago) link

Would you believe I can't find the Touch'n'fresh jungle advert on youtube - anyone care to oblige?

― Chewshabadoo, Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:39 (fourteen years ago) link

No mention of 'money for gold' on this thread = fail.

― fyi vagina (a hoy hoy), Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:51 (fourteen years ago) link

Thank YOU! fyi vagina.

― Chewshabadoo, Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:52 (fourteen years ago) link

Not sure whats better - vox pop numpties or this one with hard-up US celebs:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRVzF9dBl7c

― Chewshabadoo, Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:54 (fourteen years ago) link

'Cause people out there turn their jewlry into gold

― Mark G, Thursday, 29 October 2009 12:58 (fourteen years ago) link

I wish someone would use Nico's "We've Got the Gold" in one of these give us yer jewellery adverts

― The Prince's choice: making a brush. (Tom D.), Thursday, 29 October 2009 13:05 (fourteen years ago) link

It's lucky that Spandau Ballet have reformed, otherwise we'd have the treat of Tony Hadley saying "Send us your gold! (GOLD!!!)"

― a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Thursday, 29 October 2009 13:21 (fourteen years ago) link

I did resist that one, E"B"A...

― Mark G, Thursday, 29 October 2009 13:23 (fourteen years ago) link

What's the advert where the woman says, "It's so quick and easy..." but every time it sounds EXACTLY like, "It's so frickin' easy..."?

― The Prince's choice: making a brush. (Tom D.), Thursday, 29 October 2009 13:24 (fourteen years ago) link

New Cadbury Caramel posters are on some next level Furry shit btw.

http://vitalsignsblogging.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/cadburys-caramel-pic.jpg

http://getsiobhanny.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/0_image_903.jpg

That is a rabbit. They are asking their customers to be sexually aroused by a rabbit. What the fuck is wrong with people?

― Geir Hypothesis (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 29 October 2009 20:02 (fourteen years ago) link

If it's anything like the old ads, it's a rabbit with the voice of Miriam Margolyes.

― a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Thursday, 29 October 2009 20:05 (fourteen years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjQ5Yw72xtA

― a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Thursday, 29 October 2009 20:13 (fourteen years ago) link

Yeah I know. Running a Furry-bait ad 10 years before the WWW took off is pretty ground-breaking.

― Geir Hypothesis (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 29 October 2009 20:14 (fourteen years ago) link

It's like that bit in Wayne's World where Garth admits to being turned on by the Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs dresses as a woman.

― a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Thursday, 29 October 2009 20:25 (fourteen years ago) link

two months pass...

i thought halifax adverts had reached their nadir with howard. how wrong i was...

― koogs, Sunday, 3 January 2010 19:44 (fourteen years ago) link

that new one with the "radio station"? I thought I was having some kind of turn, it's utterly grotesque.

― Bill A, Sunday, 3 January 2010 20:47 (fourteen years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhBnEV3ElvY

― James Mitchell, Tuesday, 5 January 2010 11:06 (fourteen years ago) link

the worst thing about going home for xmas was watching TV adverts again for first time in ages

― mdskltr (blueski), Tuesday, 5 January 2010 11:32 (fourteen years ago) link

during the ad break after man u-leeds finished the first advert was a just for men advert that actually drew incredulous laughs from my friend and i

then that swiftcover advert turned up. along with an actually-funny walkers commercial. well, funny the first time. sort of.

― Electric Universe (wherever that is) (acoleuthic), Tuesday, 5 January 2010 11:36 (fourteen years ago) link

free texts/supergroup mong definitely needs to lose a few limbs

― MPx4A, Tuesday, 5 January 2010 11:40 (fourteen years ago) link

oh josh. you tried to make something of your life. but all you ended up doing was irrationally enraging a few commuters. then they put you on tv. next you'll be leading a flashmob in one of london's major transport nodes at rush-hour. at which point they will send in the combine harvesters.

― Electric Universe (wherever that is) (acoleuthic), Tuesday, 5 January 2010 11:43 (fourteen years ago) link

only death by wurzel will be sufficient for josh and his superband

― Electric Universe (wherever that is) (acoleuthic), Tuesday, 5 January 2010 11:44 (fourteen years ago) link

iggy pop has nothing on Mr Go Compare

― koogs, Tuesday, 5 January 2010 14:34 (fourteen years ago) link

I thought this was going to be about the rollerskating evian babies. disappointed.

― salsa sharkshavin (salsa shark), Tuesday, 5 January 2010 14:37 (fourteen years ago) link

those are too uncanny-valley creepy to be anything but a strongly repressed memory

― Electric Universe (wherever that is) (acoleuthic), Tuesday, 5 January 2010 14:39 (fourteen years ago) link

Oh god, the rollerskating babies are actually worse than the Halifax ad. Surely there was a point during the making of it, which would have involved dozens of people, where someone pointed out that it is terrifying rather than cuet?

― Bill A, Tuesday, 5 January 2010 15:25 (fourteen years ago) link

I don't know, at least 150 000 weirdos seem to like them (minus the few who have probably joined for the purpose of spamming)

― salsa sharkshavin (salsa shark), Tuesday, 5 January 2010 15:37 (fourteen years ago) link

Was saying to a friend last night that what's creepiest about the Evian Babies advert is it feels like an advert that will be loved by people who love babies so much that they feel compelled to go out and steal one.

Then stick it on roller skates.

― Shart Habit to Break (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 5 January 2010 15:40 (fourteen years ago) link

Camera. Fucking. Chow. Picture. Fucking. Wow.

GET OFF MY TV SCREEN YOU MOTHER.

― emil.y, Tuesday, 5 January 2010 15:45 (fourteen years ago) link

Oh my word, I've saw that Halifax ad for the first time. Seriously fuck all these people, if they must piss our money away can't they have the dignity to do it away from the public gaze.

― Bing Crosby, are you listening? (Billy Dods), Tuesday, 5 January 2010 18:47 (fourteen years ago) link

I would pay for a version of Lord Of The Rings with that Iggy puppet instead of Golum...

Pop: "Frodo you suck! Give me that goddamn Ring!"

― an executive by day and a wild man by night (snoball), Thursday, 7 January 2010 13:33 (fourteen years ago) link

one month passes...

"Stop! And just take a break/Before you blow a fuse"

― dog latin, Wednesday, 17 February 2010 15:26 (fourteen years ago) link

one month passes...

dear Crunchy Nature Valley bars ad guys. I will find you, and I will gut you.

― Thierry Ennui (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 20 March 2010 15:43 (fourteen years ago) link

halifax have hit a new low with the "ISA ISA Baby" ad

― koogs, Saturday, 20 March 2010 15:58 (fourteen years ago) link

BT Broadband ad that that doesn't even use the right Stereo MCs song as it's backing track - it uses "Step It Up" instead of "Connected".

― black jeans stained by (snoball), Saturday, 20 March 2010 15:58 (fourteen years ago) link

Halifax are getting off on being obnoxious cunts at this point really

― Thierry Ennui (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 20 March 2010 15:58 (fourteen years ago) link

halifax have hit a new low with the "ISA ISA Baby" ad

see, I don't think this is quite as bad as the previous two. It's a dreadful shitty pun, but at least there's no reliance on "The Reward Horn" or unsettling fake arms for high-fivin' this time. Mercifully, it seems slightly shorter as well.

― Bill A, Saturday, 20 March 2010 16:05 (fourteen years ago) link

"Give me back that Filet o' Fish. Give me that fish"

― Mr. Snrub, Saturday, 20 March 2010 17:04 (fourteen years ago) link

'I think I'm going to need... more ties!'

― if, Saturday, 20 March 2010 17:27 (fourteen years ago) link

Halifax are getting off on being obnoxious cunts at this point really

― Thierry Ennui (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 20 March 2010 15:58 (2 hours ago) Bookmark
Sfm!
That 'CASH MY GOLD' advert is really grating now, as are those ryvita minis ads where women are fighting over the food equivalent of cardboard.

― taking naps between dances (RubyNoir), Saturday, 20 March 2010 18:20 (fourteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Didn't think anything would upset my fangirl self more than seeing Iggy Pop in an insurance ad but I've just seen Benicio Del Toro in an awful advert for a brand new kind of magnum ice cream. It was bleak.

― RubyNoir, Monday, 5 April 2010 23:52 (fourteen years ago) link

'I think I'm going to need... more ties!'

AARRGGHHHHH!!!!

― ailsa, Monday, 5 April 2010 23:54 (fourteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

WE BUY ANY CAR DOTCOM WE BUY ANY CAR WE BUY ANY CAR

― Ward Fowler, Friday, 30 April 2010 07:27 (thirteen years ago) link

I enjoy the infectious energy of that one.

― Daily Sport Stunna Yasmin Alibhai Brown (Noodle Vague), Friday, 30 April 2010 07:33 (thirteen years ago) link

the Five-Hour Energy "Fight the 2:30 Feeling" office douchebag: I WANT TO STAB HIS SMUG FACE

― in movie 2001 resurrect thread on planet jupiter (Pillbox), Friday, 30 April 2010 07:36 (thirteen years ago) link

I have that reaction against the toothpaste ad.

It's been re-edited but still..

Follows lad from sliding down the bannister, to kiss from girl in class and so on. The way he turns to the camera and smugly smiles.etc..

― Mark G, Friday, 30 April 2010 07:38 (thirteen years ago) link

any carl's jr. ad that features the smarmy smackable spokesdude

― bette ghent (get bent), Friday, 30 April 2010 07:41 (thirteen years ago) link

"choose any car! you CANNOT be serious."

― bette ghent (get bent), Friday, 30 April 2010 07:46 (thirteen years ago) link

...ANY ANY ANY ANY...

current nadir is the 'you keep fit, obviously. whey protein, how much do you pay?' as if that's even approaching a normal conversation.

― koogs, Friday, 30 April 2010 08:40 (thirteen years ago) link

"cheeky volvic"

― Black Arkestra, Friday, 30 April 2010 14:46 (thirteen years ago) link

is that the volvic challenge thing? I want to murder that man.

― village idiot (dog latin), Friday, 30 April 2010 14:53 (thirteen years ago) link

You one a challenge for drinking water - what do you want a fucking medal you horse-faced surfer-dude wannabe?? Sometimes I like to go outside for a "cheeky breath of fresh air", that doesn't make it a challenge.

― village idiot (dog latin), Friday, 30 April 2010 14:55 (thirteen years ago) link

the really annoying thing about the volvic advert is its based on the myth that you need to consume a metric ton of pure water a day.

― Jarlrmai, Friday, 30 April 2010 15:58 (thirteen years ago) link

DESTROY 2,000 YEARS OF CULTURE:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKuS1qc5n7w

― James Mitchell, Friday, 30 April 2010 16:25 (thirteen years ago) link

one = won upthread, obv.

― village idiot (dog latin), Friday, 30 April 2010 16:26 (thirteen years ago) link

one month passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydWMY8cYPUU

― James Mitchell, Sunday, 20 June 2010 10:11 (thirteen years ago) link

I think the commercial is actually pretty cute. The product itself is dumb as dirt though. Are people embarrassed that their child, like every child in history before them, has to wear a diaper? It's probably targeted more toward parents who think that dressing up their kids in grown-up clothes is cute. Does Anne Geddes do that?

― kkvgz, Sunday, 20 June 2010 10:30 (thirteen years ago) link

Oh god, just watched that again. The "pooping your pants" bit - ugh.

― kkvgz, Sunday, 20 June 2010 10:33 (thirteen years ago) link

This makes my blood boil:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qK9F644H0-A

― rhythm fixated member (chap), Sunday, 20 June 2010 16:20 (thirteen years ago) link

I mean, doesn't she have any fucking friends?

― rhythm fixated member (chap), Sunday, 20 June 2010 16:24 (thirteen years ago) link

I am not surprised that he left her, tbh.

The one that gets me at the moment is "I don't just volumise my lashes, I millionise them". IT DOESN'T FUCKING MEAN ANYTHING. RAAAAAARGH.

― emil.y, Sunday, 20 June 2010 16:44 (thirteen years ago) link

vodafone ad is crepey as hell. was talking about it with a friend the other day.

― jed_, Sunday, 20 June 2010 16:47 (thirteen years ago) link

Vodafone ad: "I just wanted us to be happy...is that too much?" = NNNNGHGHGHGHHGHGHNNGNGHGHHGHGHHGHG.

― Bill A, Sunday, 20 June 2010 19:02 (thirteen years ago) link

HEY WRIGLEYS EXTRA YOU CAN GET YR TWEE FUCKING VEGETABLES RIGHT UP YOUR ARSE

― A game of two Alves (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 3 July 2010 16:49 (thirteen years ago) link

This track was written Nylon composer Damian De Boos Smith. It’s not available to download.

Thank fuck for that

― A game of two Alves (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 3 July 2010 16:52 (thirteen years ago) link

l'Oreal ad

'inspired by the science of genes'

― owenf, Monday, 5 July 2010 01:19 (thirteen years ago) link

oof, that vodafone ad is so freaking emotionally manipulative! *shudder*.

― Love and Arugula (Trayce), Monday, 5 July 2010 01:43 (thirteen years ago) link

TMobile ad featuring a woman dressed as Marilyn Monroe dancing with a male blow-up doll.

― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Friday, 9 July 2010 22:11 (thirteen years ago) link

I mean, doesn't she have any fucking friends?

and

I am not surprised that he left her, tbh.

Both OTM. I hate that advert so so much.

― ailsa, Friday, 9 July 2010 22:14 (thirteen years ago) link

http://theinspirationroom.com/daily/commercials/2010/1/omid-djalili-money-supermarket.jpg

Never had an opinion on this guy either way 'til he started doing these adverts, now I hate him. Good work all round!

― R. Stornoway (Tom D.), Tuesday, 13 July 2010 11:51 (thirteen years ago) link

5 brothers ad. ruining pulp fiction music and making me want to smash.

― Guru Meditation (Ste), Wednesday, 14 July 2010 19:47 (thirteen years ago) link

Peter Mandelson

― ailsa, Wednesday, 14 July 2010 22:01 (thirteen years ago) link

the new whiskers ad!

― hoes on my dick cos my groceries bagged (tpp), Wednesday, 14 July 2010 22:10 (thirteen years ago) link

What is iPad?

iPad is thin!

― koogs, Wednesday, 14 July 2010 22:21 (thirteen years ago) link

dunno if it's on tv, but in the cinema i saw this appalling advert for calvin klein underwear, in which a succession of male models say stuff like "you wanna see my [bleep]?", over and over again. the bleep is the concept. and at the end one of them says: "what the [bleep] are you wearing?" n e way, oddly confrontational. guess it targets dudes w. low self-esteem (and, in this case, who like nicole holofcener movies).

― I’ll put you in a f *ckin Weingarten you c*nt! (history mayne), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 13:30 (thirteen years ago) link

[bleep]

― Guru Meditation (Ste), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 13:34 (thirteen years ago) link

sorry, was just checking how you get square brackets on non code stuff

― Guru Meditation (Ste), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 13:35 (thirteen years ago) link

the new whiskers ad!

Is that the one where the woman claims the cat is "having a friend over", ie. next door's moggy gets quid-a-pouch food too?

Because that advert really, really blows.

― Bill A, Wednesday, 21 July 2010 14:32 (thirteen years ago) link

Halifax are the eternal champions of the mindblowingly awful ad campaigns. The current Radio Halifax ones for current eg.

― Born too beguiled (DavidM), Wednesday, 21 July 2010 14:39 (thirteen years ago) link

one month passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7mmXeRvgLo
...although it does have Lionel Richie being thrown through plate glass window

― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Monday, 30 August 2010 21:16 (thirteen years ago) link

i dunno, i found it quite amusing, and kind of surreal that LR would be appearing in an ad for a food brand he's most likely never heard of next to a sportsman he's most likely never to have heard of either.

― village idiot (dog latin), Monday, 30 August 2010 21:37 (thirteen years ago) link

http://files.adme.ru/files/news/part_2/22304/9lays.jpg

walkers are the UK equiv of american lay's both owned by pepsico and everycunt's heard of gary lineker rubbish advert

― conrad, Monday, 30 August 2010 21:59 (thirteen years ago) link

churhill - "told me he was in a tug of war competition" that womans voice and the blokes reaction. also, it's on ALL THE FOOKING TIME

we buy any car dot com. with the gang of people singing down the phone, hate the way that woman says her line really fast and looks smug about it.

― F-Unit (Ste), Tuesday, 31 August 2010 10:51 (thirteen years ago) link

I've been noticing a trend where the ad is basically the standard customer talking with a salesman. Except the gimmick is the customer is SHOUTING and EXCLAIMING!!! everything in a pseudo-ironic and completely obnoxious way. Almost like the company is saying "We know our customers secretly think that we think they are whining assholes! So we're going to be straight up about it and it'll appear ironic and funny!"

This gets on my nerves soooooo much. Some rent-a-car company does this on TBS or Comedy Central, the salesman is like "You just take any car you like." and the customer goes "CHOOSE ANY CAR???? YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!!!" It's also in some Best Buy and Progressive ads.

"I CANT BELIEVE WHAT A DEAL I'M GETTING EVEN THOUGH I AM AN OBNOXIOUS, LOUD CUSTOMER!!!"

― Telephoneface (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, 31 August 2010 11:18 (thirteen years ago) link

consumer's gettin' negged

― acoleuthic, Tuesday, 31 August 2010 11:21 (thirteen years ago) link

guilty lols from the richie walkers ad.

― ledge, Tuesday, 31 August 2010 11:23 (thirteen years ago) link

Computer superstores like PC World do this sort of thing a lot. It's almost like they're saying "we know you are a total niddiock at computers, so why not come in and be condescended to by one of our slick-haired salesmonkeys?"

― village idiot (dog latin), Tuesday, 31 August 2010 11:23 (thirteen years ago) link

not on tv but still qualifies IMO:

http://consumerist.com/2010/08/summers-eve-to-ladies-if-you-want-a-raise-youd-better-douche-first.html

― Squirrel! (HI DERE), Tuesday, 31 August 2010 15:42 (thirteen years ago) link

one month passes...

Dear confused.com, the internet is not the most important invention of the 21st century. It was in fact not invented in the 21st century at all, as millions (if not billions) of people around the globe could tell you. If you did not mean to insinuate this erroneous date of creation, but rather intended to convey that it is the most important invention that has ever been invented and remains in operation during this, the 21st century, I must still take issue with you. The wheel is still pretty important iirc. Microchips, heating, furniture. Most of us would not be able to access the internet without the invention of computers, or even, DUH, electricity. So please, please, please, stfu.

― emil.y, Tuesday, 5 October 2010 09:48 (thirteen years ago) link

>Microchips, heating, furniture

Quite right, luckily McCain used to recognise the importance of the first, although they're remiss these days. Doubtless another feature of Britain under the ConDems broken, in the gutter, in pieces etc:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9R_QrbLDiw

― Bill A, Tuesday, 5 October 2010 10:07 (thirteen years ago) link

Micro Chips were a real failure - soggy, and the packet was so small that you needed two.

― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Tuesday, 5 October 2010 10:15 (thirteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

enstein advertising bread? sample dialogue: "energy = mass times the velocity of an egg mayonnaise sandwich... stop thinking about the bread, albert..." dreadful.

― koogs, Saturday, 30 October 2010 15:01 (thirteen years ago) link

one month passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Z2nLwEfAoo

Would be better if it ended on a long shot of a dog freezing to death.

― James Mitchell, Tuesday, 30 November 2010 11:19 (thirteen years ago) link

Iceland party foods: stuff you could easily make yourself for a tenth of the cost!

― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Tuesday, 30 November 2010 12:13 (thirteen years ago) link

you really couldn't, it's mega cheapness is the one thing it has going for it.

the advert for the pedigree chum jumbone where the manky dog jumps on the white sheets of the bed is stomach turning. they are obv trying to go for the cute youtube angle and seriously misfiring.

― jed_, Tuesday, 30 November 2010 12:25 (thirteen years ago) link

its

― jed_, Tuesday, 30 November 2010 12:25 (thirteen years ago) link

this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F57RqqsTRc

repulsive.

― jed_, Tuesday, 30 November 2010 12:27 (thirteen years ago) link

Online dating from Uniform Dating, as seen on TV, is for women and men in uniform and anyone who wants to date a man in uniform – date a policeman, date a fireman ...

wtmff

― e.g. delegates at a set age (ledge), Tuesday, 30 November 2010 15:59 (thirteen years ago) link

the kelloggs christmas advert.

― koogs, Sunday, 5 December 2010 21:14 (thirteen years ago) link

Was it a dream or did I see an ad for Weetabix a couple of weeks ago featuring a talking family dog saying "get it down ya boy"? If so, I think this will be enough to put me off Weetabix forever, thanks.

― What are you doing here? (dog latin), Monday, 6 December 2010 11:09 (thirteen years ago) link

Can confirm.

― Mark G, Monday, 6 December 2010 11:30 (thirteen years ago) link

you didn't. dog is voiced by simon farnaby, the bloke with the conker for a head / head of pieface records in mighty boosh. (i have seen him twice walking about hammersmith, both times on a pelican crossing going in the opposite direction)

― koogs, Monday, 6 December 2010 11:31 (thirteen years ago) link

oh he's quite funny, or at least quite a likeable bloke in general. i just don't think a slobbering pet dog should be used to advertise quite-sloppy made-for-humans breakfast cereals. And then "get it down ya boy" is just... I don't know, it makes me feel really sick.

― What are you doing here? (dog latin), Monday, 6 December 2010 11:35 (thirteen years ago) link

DESTROY DESTROY DESTROY Cat fucking Deeley going "Swish!" argh please god no

― a fucking stove just fell on my foot. (Colonel Poo), Monday, 6 December 2010 11:56 (thirteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

"Don't get into bed and dirty your sheets when it only takes it a minute to use Easy Feet !"

As if...

― soviet, Wednesday, 29 December 2010 00:41 (thirteen years ago) link

dunno how widespread it is but over here renault are running an absolute embarrassment of an ad comprising 90 seconds of meaningless random free love and let's all get along pseudo environmentalist platitudes over the obligatory clips of happy kids and norwegian executive golfers.

― all i gotta do is akh nachivly (darraghmac), Wednesday, 29 December 2010 00:47 (thirteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaM3Ku_KKRw

This kinda makes me want to do horrible things to everyone involved in this advert. Including me for having such a violent reaction to something as painfully unimportant as an smug annoying advert.

― 전승 Complete Victory (in Battle) (NotEnough), Wednesday, 19 January 2011 21:02 (thirteen years ago) link

All the Miller Lite ads where hot girls insult their customers (the ones who dress in 80's clothes and do things that no actual human being has ever done)

― frogbs, Wednesday, 19 January 2011 21:07 (thirteen years ago) link

eh, you know the paul whitehouse aviva insurance ads which are puportedly humorous and consist of him being unfunny and doing daft voices? well they've not been great, wouldn't say the worst though. however today i saw the life insurance one, and fuck me, they only have whitehouse as a father watching over his family as they leave for a holiday, enumerating all the different ways they will be provided for, because dun dun dun, he's pan bread and he's talking about his life insurance policy. just horrible, especially because it's jarring in contrast to what had came before.

― À la recherche du temps Pardew (jim in glasgow), Sunday, 23 January 2011 17:49 (thirteen years ago) link

does he wear an hilarious false nose in the afterlife? it seems reasonable that the conclusion of his painful 10-year journey into deep, rounded characters and no jokes is a bunch of shitty adverts.

― hoybo with a shoytgun (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 23 January 2011 18:57 (thirteen years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVkVUJ3HaLA

How the mighty have etc etc.

― James Mitchell, Sunday, 30 January 2011 12:00 (thirteen years ago) link

Idgi?

― Bernard V. O'Hare (dog latin), Sunday, 30 January 2011 13:06 (thirteen years ago) link

Guy in the hat is Gaz Coombes from Supergrass.

― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Sunday, 30 January 2011 13:49 (thirteen years ago) link

Yes but I still don't understand

― Bernard V. O'Hare (dog latin), Sunday, 30 January 2011 14:41 (thirteen years ago) link

Boyfriend gets toast and jam all over the fascia of girlfriend's Toyota Yaris. Girlfriend gets revenge by deliberately taking a bad photo of boyfriend with Gaz Coombes.

Yea I don't understand either. The girlfriend should be happy that her boyfriend made the interior of her car slightly less boring by the application of breakfast condiments and toasted bread products. And Gaz Coombes? Guess that Liam was unavailable.

― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Sunday, 30 January 2011 14:50 (thirteen years ago) link

It's basically yet another car ad that tells us nothing at all about the product.

― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Sunday, 30 January 2011 14:51 (thirteen years ago) link

Can't wait to see Simon Fowler in the next Volvo campaign.

― James Mitchell, Sunday, 30 January 2011 15:00 (thirteen years ago) link

"The Day We Caught The Train (Because My Volvo's Engine Packed Up)"

― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Sunday, 30 January 2011 15:02 (thirteen years ago) link

"I never saw it as a coupe, it's more like a spacious estate"

― James Mitchell, Sunday, 30 January 2011 15:12 (thirteen years ago) link

Mark from Ride is lined up for the next Renault ad...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02i5GfKiVrQ
(@ 3 minutes)

― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Sunday, 30 January 2011 15:18 (thirteen years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8YDZKTvWMw

― James Mitchell, Wednesday, 9 February 2011 09:32 (thirteen years ago) link

It's no Fly Fishing by J.R. Hartley.

― Algerian Goalkeeper, Wednesday, 9 February 2011 09:34 (thirteen years ago) link

whitehouse as a father watching over his family as they leave for a holiday, enumerating all the different ways they will be provided for, because dun dun dun, he's pan bread

Funnily enough, I 'got' that he was brown immediately. And I didn't even know why until I saw the ad again. There is a subtle clue in the first shot.

So, for that kind of attention to detail, it gets a half-point from me.

― Mark G, Wednesday, 9 February 2011 10:04 (thirteen years ago) link

The three passports?

― Bill A, Wednesday, 9 February 2011 11:08 (thirteen years ago) link

yep.

Probably being a family of four, I clicked straightaway.

― Mark G, Wednesday, 9 February 2011 11:11 (thirteen years ago) link

It took me until the second viewing to catch that detail. First time round I was all like "oh no...he's not...surely they cannot deem this suitable for an ad??".

And Gaz Coombes? Guess that Liam was unavailable.

God, if only if could have been a cameo from Noel, ideally as he emerges from a Londis or betting shop.

― Bill A, Wednesday, 9 February 2011 11:36 (thirteen years ago) link

"MOUNTAIN TOP!!!"

― Mark G, Thursday, 10 February 2011 15:41 (thirteen years ago) link

http://www.discogs.com/Day-V-Lately-Pulse-Thunder/release/2693756

http://s.dsimg.com/image/R-2693756-1296848580.jpeg

― Algerian Goalkeeper, Thursday, 10 February 2011 21:37 (thirteen years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hK3Xz8QrEqQ

― James Mitchell, Sunday, 13 February 2011 14:54 (thirteen years ago) link

our house

― conrad, Sunday, 13 February 2011 15:00 (thirteen years ago) link

can't see youtube was coming to post grandmaster flash and the suburban nappies

― conrad, Monday, 14 February 2011 19:04 (thirteen years ago) link

Anyone who likes 'the message' by grandmaster flash: don't watch the KIA ad I implore you!

― dentarthurdent (dog latin), Tuesday, 15 February 2011 00:18 (thirteen years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hK3Xz8QrEqQ

― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Tuesday, 15 February 2011 00:20 (thirteen years ago) link

Kids in the front room, OAPs in the back
Lib/Cons in the alley trying to increase VAT
I tried to get away, but I couldn't get far
'cause Kia make stupid piece-of-shit cars

― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Tuesday, 15 February 2011 00:24 (thirteen years ago) link

huhhuh huhhuh

― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Tuesday, 15 February 2011 00:24 (thirteen years ago) link

Just saw the Yell advert. Don't understand the haterz tbh, I thought it was kinda sweet.

― 전승 Complete Victory (in Battle) (NotEnough), Tuesday, 15 February 2011 20:41 (thirteen years ago) link

Fuck that Virgin Mobile ad that has some voiceover guy speaking the lyrics to 'House Of Fun' by Madness.

― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Tuesday, 15 February 2011 20:49 (thirteen years ago) link

read this thread and you'll find out about the bad adverts

― conrad, Tuesday, 15 February 2011 21:38 (thirteen years ago) link

more than freeman

― conrad, Saturday, 26 February 2011 18:10 (thirteen years ago) link

two months pass...

i'm never eating Jammy Dodgers again

― koogs, Friday, 6 May 2011 06:55 (twelve years ago) link

Plusnet - "Good Honest Broadband From Yorkshire"

― got a whole lotta gloves (snoball), Friday, 6 May 2011 07:49 (twelve years ago) link

four months pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2p93O4xfVag

― William Bloody Swygart, Monday, 19 September 2011 19:00 (twelve years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoX6l6klziU

I want the family in this to perish in a fire.

― ha ha ha ha jack my swag (boxedjoy), Tuesday, 20 September 2011 10:45 (twelve years ago) link

four months pass...

Not a TV ad but...
"There you are, streaming stuff like there's no tomorrow" but then some fucker tries to sell you Sky broadband.

― insert 2012 appropriate display name here (snoball), Saturday, 21 January 2012 18:03 (twelve years ago) link

one month passes...

Jennifer Saunders' '~~Choccy Philly~~ I'll Do Anything For Money Don't Be Silly' ad. When I want to smear excrement coloured chocolate gunk on bread, I buy a jar of Nutella, thank you very much. Also I have one of those purple plastic megaphones. Only £9.99 from Maplin, what a bargain.

― a dramatic lemon curd experience (snoball), Monday, 19 March 2012 19:36 (twelve years ago) link

I can't tell if this is amazing or terrible:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2_TCZSQzrM

― boxedjoy, Tuesday, 20 March 2012 22:29 (twelve years ago) link

going for amazing... but hearing people repeating that, even once, would change my mind

― I'm going to allow this! (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 20 March 2012 22:33 (twelve years ago) link

I saw that ad for the first time the other day. I'm going for terrible.

― ailsa, Tuesday, 20 March 2012 22:52 (twelve years ago) link

Going for terrible. Physically cringing here.

― a dramatic lemon curd experience (snoball), Tuesday, 20 March 2012 22:52 (twelve years ago) link

The bit where he threw the tea out of the window was funny, they should have made the advert more like "oh, this tea is shite <throws tea out of window> what you want is... Aldi Cheap-o Tea!"

― a dramatic lemon curd experience (snoball), Tuesday, 20 March 2012 22:54 (twelve years ago) link

It's not shown outside Scotland, right? I assume giving it laldy isn't a concept familiar enough to hang a slogan on anywhere else?

― ailsa, Tuesday, 20 March 2012 23:14 (twelve years ago) link

That volkswagen one at the moment showing haircuts, accessories etc supposedly from certain years in the past - it's not a terrible advert, but it seems to have been put together by people with no memory of life before the year 2000. The 'boombox' shot from 1995 is at least ten years out, same as the 70s style tennis video game.

― Let's Talk About Socks (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Wednesday, 28 March 2012 20:55 (twelve years ago) link

These twinings adverts are extraordinary. I think I'm in love. With the adverts, the girl, walking on the beach, the sky, clouds, life itself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChxzFDi2nWg

― ledge, Thursday, 29 March 2012 08:59 (twelve years ago) link

this 404 link otoh breaks my heart

http://www.twinings.co.uk/about-twinings/latest-news/behind-the-scenes-with-charlene

― ledge, Thursday, 29 March 2012 09:00 (twelve years ago) link

proper link here:
http://www.twinings.co.uk/about-twinings/latest-news/all-about-charlene/behind-the-scenes-with-charlene

― koogs, Thursday, 29 March 2012 09:20 (twelve years ago) link

Charlene does indeed manage to make it look completely effortless to produce such a beautiful voice and song.

And I'm so glad it has come to Twinings attention that women today juggle numerous roles on a day to day basis.

― ledge, Thursday, 29 March 2012 09:31 (twelve years ago) link

why is that bull dressed up like something from dickens and talking like tim nice-but-dim to try and sell us curry sauce. does not compute.

― koogs, Thursday, 29 March 2012 18:48 (twelve years ago) link

three weeks pass...

British Telecom have a broadband service called 'Infinity'. They've just started a new, faster service called... 'Infinity 2' Twice as much infinity as before!

― Cheggers Plays Populous (snoball), Wednesday, 25 April 2012 18:59 (twelve years ago) link

three weeks pass...

I don't think I get the Dulux one where they paint the room yellow & the son moves out. Is it meant to be too blinding for his daily hangovers?

― kinder, Wednesday, 16 May 2012 19:46 (eleven years ago) link

what's with that shaving ad where the guy goes around the world in 5 weeks but only needs one razor. first of all, people who do "around the world in 5 weeks" are neckbeards, no doubt about it. secondly, who are you selling this shit to!?

― frogbs, Wednesday, 16 May 2012 19:49 (eleven years ago) link

how about those "Men at Work" commercials, where they're all standing against a blank set, "we could pretend this is a set" like they're some fuckin horrible improv troupe. "I'm chatting up only one lady...but she's the most beautiful lady in the room". "THAT'S MY MOM!!" "IM AT A BAR WITH MOM!" buuuurn, baby!! LOL

― frogbs, Thursday, 17 May 2012 14:29 (eleven years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06ewNgmYLxI

yuck

― owenf, Thursday, 17 May 2012 14:40 (eleven years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZOPVbz21Gc

yuck

― owenf, Thursday, 17 May 2012 14:41 (eleven years ago) link

ugh, using Philadelphia in those recipes a) costs more than and b) doesn't taste as good as using double cream and freshly grated parmesan.

― banal like anal (snoball), Thursday, 17 May 2012 14:50 (eleven years ago) link

has anyone ever described their teeth as "squeaking clean".

― koogs, Wednesday, 30 May 2012 09:02 (eleven years ago) link

Not until that fucking advert, no. Could it be based on a "kiss this guy" style mishearing of "squeaky clean" by the creative responsible?

― that mustardless plate (Bill A), Wednesday, 30 May 2012 12:01 (eleven years ago) link

http://ontario.kijiji.ca/c-services-cleaners-cleaning-Thats-Squeaking-Clean-W0QQAdIdZ383638380

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.143763605643856.18074.142238095796407

http://www.etsy.com/shop/Invisigirl

^ and 19000 other idiots on google

― koogs, Wednesday, 30 May 2012 12:21 (eleven years ago) link

and thusly language "evolves"

― korea opportunities (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 30 May 2012 12:28 (eleven years ago) link

blooding ridiculous

― koogs, Wednesday, 30 May 2012 12:46 (eleven years ago) link

fucky nell

― Pacific Trash Vortex (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Wednesday, 30 May 2012 20:51 (eleven years ago) link

forking caunts

― Radical Jedward (snoball), Wednesday, 30 May 2012 20:53 (eleven years ago) link

Been back in the UK for four weeks now and 'creamy but low in fat' is the most punchable ad ever made, even more than the Choo Choo Choo Trainline one.

― kinder, Wednesday, 30 May 2012 20:55 (eleven years ago) link

one month passes...

"I just sold my car click click"

I just skipped your ad FUCK OFF

― Jeff Goldblum is watching you, pope! (snoball), Thursday, 5 July 2012 08:50 (eleven years ago) link

Since that "She's always a woman" ad where a girl goes through all her life until she's a grandma.

Not nomming that one, that's pretty good. But: This ad would not work 'as is' for a guy, he needs some sort of 'achievement' or a different twist on the tale. (I did see a similar one to the first from a guy pov, shown once, can't remember the details, anyway..)

Eventually, a guy one, where the POV is of the daughter growing up, and even though the mum is around it's all the guy's pov (carrying upstairs a sleeping girl, inflating her swilling armbands, etc) until she leaves home for College in the VW her dad bought for her.

Not that one either..

It was the one I saw yesterday. National lottery.

An old woman looks back at how she used to be a brilliant runner but the war intervened and she had to go to work instead, a brief bit of her getting married and having kids, eventually the daughter (or granddaughter it must be it all went a bit quickly) is seen just about to start the race in the Olympics. It's supposed to be uplifting and how the lottery grant committee helps to fulfil ambitions. So why did it seem so depressing in the end?

Did anyone see this one? What kind of tree am I barking up here?

― Mark G, Thursday, 5 July 2012 09:11 (eleven years ago) link

swimming armbands, obv.

― Mark G, Thursday, 5 July 2012 09:12 (eleven years ago) link

God yeah, I hate that one - there's nothing uplifting about having your dreams shattered but being all benign about it because someone else gets to do it for you 60 years later. There's one for a lawyer firm that's like that too, where some woman is burying her husband but it's all OK because a pregnant stranger smiles at her.

― ailsa, Thursday, 5 July 2012 09:15 (eleven years ago) link

uh? So, what, the pregstrang is the dead guy's affair or something?

― Mark G, Thursday, 5 July 2012 09:21 (eleven years ago) link

I think it's some "my husband is dead but hey! there's a random new baby on the way somewhere so I have accepted the circle of life" wise old woman shit.

― ailsa, Thursday, 5 July 2012 09:33 (eleven years ago) link

Those billboard Go Compare ads that look like they've been grafftied on. So many people have fallen for it and put it on Facebook.

― Scary Move 4 (dog latin), Thursday, 5 July 2012 09:48 (eleven years ago) link

xpost oh ffs. "Hey widow! Get some perspective!"

― Mark G, Thursday, 5 July 2012 09:55 (eleven years ago) link

current Phones 4 U tv ad is the greatest of all time btw

― coopflaggypost (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 5 July 2012 10:16 (eleven years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Snack enlightenment. Surprised the league against asian defamation haven't created uproar.

― Stevolende, Saturday, 21 July 2012 10:35 (eleven years ago) link

two months pass...

"It has come to Jacomo's attention that the actor who played Egg in the BBC 90's series 'This Life' is about to walk in from of the camera."

― a great poke for Jet Set Willy (snoball), Saturday, 22 September 2012 10:38 (eleven years ago) link

I thought this revive would be about the John Lewis advert. Who thought that was a good idea? (Actually, much fun can be had from being with people seeing it for the first time and trying to guess what it's advertising.)

Current biggest hate is the Philidelphia one where Mum is going to be back late so Dad makes chicken wrapped in bacon - it genuinely looks like it was made by the losing team on an Apprentice task.

During the Olympics I hated the Victoria Pendleton one for Pantene or whatever it was. "Helps me win as an athlete and shine like a woman." Putting to one side the casual sexism, I can't have been the only one that continued with "NO PARTICULAR WOMAN", can I?

― passive-aggressive display name (aldo), Saturday, 22 September 2012 12:00 (eleven years ago) link

Whoever that sofa company is who are currently running ads for a sofa with a built in iPod dock and speakers.

― a great poke for Jet Set Willy (snoball), Saturday, 29 September 2012 20:26 (eleven years ago) link

That Costa ad that features what looks like people buried up to the neck in shit while singing 'I Was Made For Loving You' by KISS.

― a great poke for Jet Set Willy (snoball), Tuesday, 9 October 2012 20:29 (eleven years ago) link

really hate the truck commercial where the dude shakes the dealer's hand but first wipes mud all over it, wtf come on what is this REAL MEN GET DIRTY ARGGGH bullshit

on the other hand the truck commercial with Peyton Manning where he says "call Papa Bear" and pumps his fist is really one of the greatest commercials ever

― frogbs, Tuesday, 9 October 2012 20:36 (eleven years ago) link

> Costa ad

this

― koogs, Tuesday, 9 October 2012 20:38 (eleven years ago) link

Brad Pitt. Chanel. Why?!

― kinder, Thursday, 18 October 2012 21:49 (eleven years ago) link

^^^ I don't understand either. I keep substituting the "you are not your job, or how much money you have in the bank" line from Fight Club.

― ILX until I die (snoball), Saturday, 27 October 2012 17:28 (eleven years ago) link

Yes Converse Make Boots

― ILX until I die (snoball), Saturday, 27 October 2012 17:29 (eleven years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Vodafone advert with Yoda on a train helping a woman do a crossword puzzle on her tablet.

― Huey Lewisies & The Newsie-Wewsies (snoball), Saturday, 10 November 2012 21:24 (eleven years ago) link

What's not to like? It's *yoda* and he's helping People

― all the people on the right, boogaloo (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Sunday, 11 November 2012 00:12 (eleven years ago) link

Kevin Bacon, go fuck yourself

― movember spawned a nobster (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 11 November 2012 00:28 (eleven years ago) link

BT Broadband students, go kill yourselves

― movember spawned a nobster (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 11 November 2012 00:29 (eleven years ago) link

are they still doing those super sexist bt ones where that one guy is constantly leching on his flatmate?

― fun facts about human waste (Merdeyeux), Sunday, 11 November 2012 01:29 (eleven years ago) link

BT students are the worst. I pine for the return of Kris Marshall and her off of Spooks. Oh no, we can't have a party because we're all incapable of using a cd player, oh fuck off. We can all rent or buy professional dressing-up clothes to sit around our house in, but fibre-optic broadband is beyond us because 'we're students, luv' aargh fuck OFF.

I like Kevin Bacon though.

― ailsa, Sunday, 11 November 2012 11:49 (eleven years ago) link

The definitive Sherlock, solving crime with the help of Beechams.

― Chewshabadoo, Sunday, 11 November 2012 12:47 (eleven years ago) link

The real Sherlock Holmes would have taken certain powders for a cold, but not Beechams.
btw the first result on a Google search for 'sherlock beechams' links to a sneezing fetish forum.

― Huey Lewisies & The Newsie-Wewsies (snoball), Sunday, 11 November 2012 13:44 (eleven years ago) link

xposts what ailsa said, yes.

― Mark G, Sunday, 11 November 2012 16:57 (eleven years ago) link

notice how the smug nerdy bt student has already been reduced to an animated gif in the latest BT advert ?

maybe some market research backed up ailsa's definitive view point ...

― mark e, Sunday, 11 November 2012 18:46 (eleven years ago) link

I know someone who looks strikingly like BT advert student bloke and gets the ise taken out of him all the time, which is a shame cos he's a nice guy.

― make like a steak and beef (dog latin), Monday, 12 November 2012 11:38 (eleven years ago) link

"I don't wanna grow up, I wanna be a Toys-r-us kid KID KID KID KID"

It's no 'there's a magical place, we're on our way there...', that's for sure

― kinder, Friday, 23 November 2012 17:38 (eleven years ago) link

(presumably) 10 and 11 year old kids beatboxing the super mario bros — you were born in 2002, shut up

― ゑ (clouds), Friday, 23 November 2012 17:42 (eleven years ago) link

really guys? Kevin Bacon dropping (un)knowing Frank Carson references?

― only Brod can judge me (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 24 November 2012 03:13 (eleven years ago) link

two months pass...

I really don't like the way the man in the Wickes advert goes "Wickes" at the end of the advert.

― more like bog satin (dog latin), Monday, 28 January 2013 10:38 (eleven years ago) link

That kid in the 5-a-day campaign makes me want to go to McDonalds in the hopes they've started putting children in their burgers. I hope his goth sister stabs him in the eye with a fork.

― more like bog satin (dog latin), Monday, 28 January 2013 10:40 (eleven years ago) link

We take the piss out of Wee-eekes every time it comes on, and it's kind of spread to Air Wicks now too

― kinder, Monday, 28 January 2013 13:27 (eleven years ago) link

A fair few patronising ads

1) Father/TeenageDaughter
2) Studentlad/DenseMother
3) Women/Makeup ads getting worse

etc.

― Mark G, Monday, 28 January 2013 13:42 (eleven years ago) link

xpost

Yeah, Timothy Spall's delivery of the "Wiiiickes" pay off line has taken him down in my estimation a tiny bit. Currently irritated by the way that Webuyanycar.com have completed the abandonment of the thumping euro-techno of their original ads for James Corden giving it a faux-emotive "enter your reg number now" voiceover.

― that mustardless plate (Bill A), Monday, 28 January 2013 14:08 (eleven years ago) link

Studentlad/DenseMother

God, yeah, new BT student ad is the worst. It doesn't even make sense!

― ailsa, Monday, 28 January 2013 14:09 (eleven years ago) link

Which aspect of it?

― A Yawning Chasm (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Monday, 28 January 2013 14:10 (eleven years ago) link

Does she not say she's just back from having been somewhere and he's a bit "not again" about it suggesting that she's been there before, then she seems surprised at his living arrangements because the concept of flatsharing with friends is so completely weird and alien to everyone, especially one who watches the soaps.

Also, wtf, really, Samantha Bond? Is she not better than that?

― ailsa, Monday, 28 January 2013 14:18 (eleven years ago) link

BT adverts have always failed to make sense.

― more like bog satin (dog latin), Monday, 28 January 2013 14:20 (eleven years ago) link

I think time in BT world is compressed, so what seems like eight or nine months of this fascinating soap opera to us has taken up just a few weeks of their time. So his mother's visits are relatively frequent (perhaps once every couple of months or so?), but the last one took place before his flatmates moved in.

― A Yawning Chasm (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Monday, 28 January 2013 14:22 (eleven years ago) link

There's now a second "failed Apprentice task" advert for Philidelphia on.

Shooting fish in a barrel, but the latest Foxy Bingo ads annoy me intensely. "One fat lady who's a flirty thirty and doesn't have droopy drawers" is the worst, especially when she waves the lacy thong over her groin, but the astonishingly racist 'asian' who likes photography and amazes the woman next to her by using her knitting needles as chopsticks is jaw-droppingly bad.

In other shitty daytime ITV adverts, the sofa woman who can't help using her hands is dreadful and there's a different version of her in the Park Hampers woman, only she's only able to use her forearms.

― Troughton-masked Replicant (aldo), Monday, 28 January 2013 17:57 (eleven years ago) link

how have we not mentioned WaxVac yet?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Htbo1yW6qeU

is there a better moment on TV than the guy apparently lobotomizing himself with a Q-Tip? OW! indeed!!

― frogbs, Friday, 1 February 2013 20:15 (eleven years ago) link

the 5 hour energy dbag

― ramblin' evil mushroom (clouds), Friday, 1 February 2013 20:18 (eleven years ago) link

the way he holds a book with his foot ugh die

― ramblin' evil mushroom (clouds), Friday, 1 February 2013 20:18 (eleven years ago) link

5 hour energy has consistantly had the worst commercials on TV - actually speaks kinda well of their product

― frogbs, Friday, 1 February 2013 20:20 (eleven years ago) link

four months pass...

Polycell talking arse (literally).

― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Tuesday, 4 June 2013 13:49 (ten years ago) link

two weeks pass...

our local go cart/ride park, FunSpot, has appropriated Gangnam Style for their latest commercials. I can't get this dude's goofy face out of my head.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4GeK8ztV0M

― Neanderthal, Monday, 24 June 2013 02:03 (ten years ago) link

Their biggest selling point is free admission (and all rides you have to pay for individually I suppose)? That's almost as bad as that old Paulton's Park advert from the 80's where one of the 'attractions' shown was a middle aged guy dressed as a pirate waving a plastic sword around.

― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Monday, 24 June 2013 07:57 (ten years ago) link

I can't get this dude's goofy face out of my head.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/3d/GordonBarenakedLadies.jpg
(guy in the middle)

― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Monday, 24 June 2013 07:58 (ten years ago) link

Jessica Ennis & Rory McIlroy managing the astonishing feat of making Jenson Button seem like the guy with the most personality in an advert. Well done guys :(

― ailsa, Monday, 24 June 2013 09:08 (ten years ago) link

me and Joel have a running joke about Rory's terrifying zombie-like appearance in those ads and the probability that a generation of under 10s are gonna see him in their nightmares on the reg

― The drone that was played caused panic and confusion (Noodle Vague), Monday, 24 June 2013 09:12 (ten years ago) link

they're horribly misjudged aren't they. This blog post nails it IMO:
http://potlatch.typepad.com/weblog/2013/03/santander-2013.html

It is one of the most unsettling pieces of film that I've ever seen, reducing advertising to a set of blank and bland facts, to be recited out of the mouths of an apparently arbitrary collection of sports stars. What are the celebrities doing in other people's houses? Have they broken in illegally? Or are we to suppose that they are ghostly apparitions?

― Neil S, Monday, 24 June 2013 09:13 (ten years ago) link

"Did you know you can get 2.4% interest with Santander's new gold current account? Also I am going to eat your soul."

― The drone that was played caused panic and confusion (Noodle Vague), Monday, 24 June 2013 09:15 (ten years ago) link

that cider ad with the "now you're downloaded, well done" etc as if it's a tech product.

― Shamrock Shoe (LocalGarda), Monday, 24 June 2013 09:27 (ten years ago) link

The one where woman has orgasm at the thought of luxury yoghurt (don't actually see her eat any)

― Mark G, Monday, 24 June 2013 09:30 (ten years ago) link

oh god yes the cider ad is winding me to a fine pitch of hatred and i'm a drunk ffs

― The drone that was played caused panic and confusion (Noodle Vague), Monday, 24 June 2013 09:31 (ten years ago) link

partly i think for the tone of "hey wow technology that people have been using for years exists!" and partly because it attempts to place the cider as some rural counterexample to iPads even tho the stuff is no doubt made in industrial vats by a petrochemical conglomerate

― The drone that was played caused panic and confusion (Noodle Vague), Monday, 24 June 2013 09:32 (ten years ago) link

probably discussed already but any of the payday loan ads, and in particular the Wonga ones with the creepy rubber dolls and the "reassuring" tones of usury shill Nicholas Parsons.

― Neil S, Monday, 24 June 2013 09:39 (ten years ago) link

any loan ads, payday or otherwise tbh. the soothing, playful invitation to rack up your levels of debt is on another level of moral repugnance really.

― The drone that was played caused panic and confusion (Noodle Vague), Monday, 24 June 2013 09:46 (ten years ago) link

This fuckin' guy...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iw0acK3Jb6c&list=PL4D125C9646648E78

― MaresNest, Monday, 24 June 2013 09:52 (ten years ago) link

i kind of enjoy his work, don't feel he's taking the whole shilling double glazing thing too seriously

― The drone that was played caused panic and confusion (Noodle Vague), Monday, 24 June 2013 09:53 (ten years ago) link

the soothing, playful invitation to rack up your levels of debt is on another level of moral repugnance really

Ooh ooh ooh, the Cash Lady ones with Kerry Katona. Like *anyone* thinks Kerry Katona is the soothing and reassuring voice of money management.

― ailsa, Monday, 24 June 2013 10:25 (ten years ago) link

Those got spiked by Ofcom I think - for exactly that reason.

― Shamrock Shoe (LocalGarda), Monday, 24 June 2013 10:47 (ten years ago) link

The wonga ones make me feel ill

― kinder, Monday, 24 June 2013 12:56 (ten years ago) link

I don't know if this thread is for UK commercials only, but the new Wendy's ads in the US are making me blind with rage.

"Roller food? Really?"
"I WILL KILL YOU AND HIDE YOU UNDERNEATH JIMMY HOFFA'S CORPSE"
"Roller food... tsk..."

― WilliamC, Monday, 24 June 2013 13:01 (ten years ago) link

(there was a US version of this thread but it was never obvious from the titles (maybe 'ads' vs 'adverts'))

― koogs, Monday, 24 June 2013 13:04 (ten years ago) link

That Lloyds TSB advert or series of with fluffy, cartoony CGI people puffling around in their safe little world.

Some advert for a phone, possibly Samsung, where phone's owner uses it on train as an ebook reader and then wafts into their ridiculous, open plan office full of beautiful people doing some kind of creative job.

Endless soundtracks of gentle xylophones and acoustic strumming and penny-whistles, verging either towards whistful hoedown or be good to yourself, go on, be good to yourself, you deserve it.

― cardamon, Tuesday, 25 June 2013 00:42 (ten years ago) link

It's making me want to talk in Nadsat, if you know what I mean

― cardamon, Tuesday, 25 June 2013 00:43 (ten years ago) link

yarbles

― The drone that was played caused panic and confusion (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 25 June 2013 01:38 (ten years ago) link

xp I would, but I wouldn't want to end up with eggy-weg on my face.

― Wide Area Network King (snoball), Tuesday, 25 June 2013 07:42 (ten years ago) link

that Santander ad rules

― frogbs, Tuesday, 25 June 2013 12:12 (ten years ago) link

i didn't know about this thread but this is my new home nice to meet you all

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYgIhocp5iY

― ty based gay dead computer god (zachlyon), Tuesday, 25 June 2013 22:36 (ten years ago) link

Robinson's fruit juice advert where it's 'good to be a dad, better to be a mate' or something

― cardamon, Wednesday, 26 June 2013 15:29 (ten years ago) link

The increasingly meta saga of the Go Compare opera singer. It's not much use as an ad if no-one can remember wtf is being advertised, right?

― Wide Area Network King (snoball), Wednesday, 26 June 2013 15:35 (ten years ago) link

Yeah, he's getting like those fucking meerkats.

I already mentioned this on the old IA thread, but Corden using the word "part-exing" in the Webuyanycar advert really gets on my tits.

― ailsa, Wednesday, 26 June 2013 15:36 (ten years ago) link

Everyone involved in this should be shot

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pf_aOlhjSJw

(I can't see youtubes on this browser so i hope it's the right one)

― Tommy McTommy (Tom D.), Wednesday, 26 June 2013 15:43 (ten years ago) link

That's sort of ...

― cardamon, Wednesday, 26 June 2013 15:46 (ten years ago) link

You know when an advert tries to take 'a common situation' as its starting point? But that situation in that advert isn't 'common' in the way the advert thinks it is

― cardamon, Wednesday, 26 June 2013 15:48 (ten years ago) link

Indeed I do

― Tommy McTommy (Tom D.), Wednesday, 26 June 2013 15:50 (ten years ago) link

Rather like if the 'naughtiness' in question were a young man wondering what it would be like to push an old lady in front of a bus -

plinky strummy plinky plonk

(Bites into chocolate)

I wanna watch your skull get cracked open
and see all the brains come dribbling out
what's your life worth anyway
you piss yourself everyday

'Allow yourself a bit of naughtiness'

― cardamon, Wednesday, 26 June 2013 15:50 (ten years ago) link

DAD is preparing barbecue

KIDS are running around shouting

(Bites into chocolate)

doo-be-doodle plinky plonk plinky ba-dum

Why don't I take this can of petrol and douse
every inch of this fucking house
then drop a match on it
kids I never wanted and a life gone static
everything's so still and automatic
then drop a match on it

'Allow yourself a bit of naughtiness'

(Am enjoying this a bit too much actually)

― cardamon, Wednesday, 26 June 2013 15:54 (ten years ago) link

You know when an advert tries to take 'a common situation' as its starting point? But that situation in that advert isn't 'common' in the way the advert thinks it is

Advert equivalent of The Wright Way, then?

― ailsa, Wednesday, 26 June 2013 15:58 (ten years ago) link

otm xpost

― Shamrock Shoe (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 26 June 2013 15:59 (ten years ago) link

that ad is fucking weird

― Shamrock Shoe (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 26 June 2013 15:59 (ten years ago) link

it's a bit post-Savile tbh

― That booby's are HOTTT (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 26 June 2013 16:48 (ten years ago) link

the setup is botched too. Maybe it's just my american doltishness, but the first time I watched it I didn't even understand what had happened in the first few seconds

― i don't even have an internet (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 26 June 2013 17:14 (ten years ago) link

Advert for some car with estuary english soulful cover of 'reasons to be cheerful' by Ian Dury but it isn't really a cover.

First direct tv advert with a fucking platypus

― cardamon, Monday, 8 July 2013 20:58 (ten years ago) link

subway commercial with each different sandwich matching some racial stereotype. lovely.

― clouds, Tuesday, 9 July 2013 00:47 (ten years ago) link

one month passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0fcISeVF4k

Hate all of these kids so much, I feel kind of guilty about this though.

― Eight Model Play, Saturday, 31 August 2013 20:11 (ten years ago) link

never feel guilty for hating children

― Nhex, Saturday, 31 August 2013 22:09 (ten years ago) link

two months pass...

Just saw a shorter version of this video on the TV and felt physically ill. Totally ruined my enjoyment of the episode of Murder, She Wrote I was watching.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHisgGPiL4o

― bizarro gazzara, Thursday, 14 November 2013 11:43 (ten years ago) link

two months pass...

Loads of people on Facebook are going nuts for this, but I think it's horrific.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKKVQLDYYcw

― I wish to incorporate disco into my small business (chap), Thursday, 6 February 2014 12:50 (ten years ago) link

I tear up whenever I watch this, does that make me a bad person

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIEIvi2MuEk

― my father will guide me up the stairs to bed (anagram), Thursday, 6 February 2014 12:58 (ten years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6XjRdbU9hQ

― Inside Lewellyn Sinclair (cryptosicko), Thursday, 6 February 2014 15:23 (ten years ago) link

Anything for yow, cupcake.....grrrrrrrr

― If it was up to the unions we still have stream trains (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Thursday, 6 February 2014 21:14 (ten years ago) link

that budweiser commercial would be great if the guy was stoned to death at the end

― worthless lucubrations w/ ill-concealed apathy bro (zachlyon), Saturday, 8 February 2014 02:41 (ten years ago) link

Hive really is the worst of the worst. (See also the Innocent Smoothies thread.)

― emil.y, Saturday, 8 February 2014 03:46 (ten years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdxAyAmBaeQ

― I wish to incorporate disco into my small business (chap), Monday, 10 February 2014 13:57 (ten years ago) link

I get the most hulk smash furious at those ones as I've ever been - I don't really understand why

― kinder, Monday, 10 February 2014 18:15 (ten years ago) link

think because of all the private companies that pretend to be the consumer's bezzie mate, banks are right up there in the taking-the-fucking-piss stakes

― the undersea world of jacques kernow (Noodle Vague), Monday, 10 February 2014 18:19 (ten years ago) link

yeah, though i think feeling revulsion towards matey oppressors is always reasonable. xp

― Merdeyeux, Monday, 10 February 2014 18:20 (ten years ago) link

That's the one that drives me insane. It is totally nonsensical, as in I just can't imagine anyone acting or thinking like this.

One accepts a meal from a new friend (the first time they'd gone out), just because your their friend?
It felt 'briwyyent', surely you would be grateful, or perhaps a bit weirded out?
This moment compared exactly to the feeling you got when found out about the cashback offer with your bank.
That you feel confident that your new friend would like this offer.. (do people discuss this crap with new friends?)

.. this and that every time I watch anything on 4OD it plays at least four times..

― mmmm, Monday, 10 February 2014 18:51 (ten years ago) link

'you're their friend'

I have been reading too much into this haven't I?

― mmmm, Monday, 10 February 2014 18:52 (ten years ago) link

as somebody observed on ILX - and no doubt elsewhere - months ago, the more reprehensibly the banks behave, the cuddly wuddlier the adverts get

― the undersea world of jacques kernow (Noodle Vague), Monday, 10 February 2014 19:04 (ten years ago) link

The woman is so clearly a simpleton, because that's what banks think of the general public.

― I wish to incorporate disco into my small business (chap), Monday, 10 February 2014 22:26 (ten years ago) link

I feel embarrassed for the actually talented people who are involved in that Bud Light commercial

― Burt Stuntin (Hurting 2), Monday, 10 February 2014 22:39 (ten years ago) link

Does anyone in the UK actually talk like that besides actors trained to fake that accent?

― Bnad, Monday, 10 February 2014 22:52 (ten years ago) link

Yeah it's a real accent. Lancashire maybe.

― I wish to incorporate disco into my small business (chap), Monday, 10 February 2014 22:55 (ten years ago) link

that accent is v normal! it's anjli mohindra & she is from nottingham

― ogmor, Tuesday, 11 February 2014 00:23 (ten years ago) link

i've never felt like ridiculously elated when a friend covers a meal or pays for me in any way, it's always like 10% relief and 90% guilt

― worthless lucubrations w/ ill-concealed apathy bro (zachlyon), Tuesday, 11 February 2014 03:06 (ten years ago) link

they should've made it about how you can guiltlessly take their money because they're a fucking bank and they suck

― worthless lucubrations w/ ill-concealed apathy bro (zachlyon), Tuesday, 11 February 2014 03:07 (ten years ago) link

this new coke zero ad makes me despair for maths teachers everywhere:

A new Coca-Cola Zero campaign, launched this month during the Australian Open Men's tennis final via Host, turns the idea that 0 means nothing on its head.

Says Lucie Austin, marketing director, Coca-Cola South Pacific: "For some people 0 means nothing, our campaign will show that adding 0 gives you more; 1 idea to 10 ideas, 10 mates to 100 mates, 100 possibilities to 1000 possibilities.

Television is epic in scale and we're taking this reappraisal of what 0 means to the masses. Coke Zero is a modern cola icon, which warrants an edgier and sexier campaign, above and beyond its established 'zero sugar' positioning.

i guess 'add zero and get exactly what you started with' doesn't have the same ring?

― tpp, Tuesday, 11 February 2014 08:39 (ten years ago) link

"Divide by Coke Zero and generate a compiler error (unless you're using Java because meh)"

― And when you f--- up, you go backwards (snoball), Tuesday, 11 February 2014 09:28 (ten years ago) link

Agh during my degree I undertook some teaching discourse analysis and this exact description of 'adding zero' was determined to be particularly confusing to young maths students.
Why didn't they go with the actually interesting 'discovery' of zero?

― kinder, Tuesday, 11 February 2014 09:48 (ten years ago) link

two weeks pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8W-_rpHoT4U

Mainly included for the "Worst thing to happen to music since garaaage" line. Sorry, not listening to anything you have to say on the subject if that's your opinion. Are we supposed to like this prick?

― I wish to incorporate disco into my small business (chap), Friday, 28 February 2014 19:47 (ten years ago) link

The girl is hot though.

― I wish to incorporate disco into my small business (chap), Friday, 28 February 2014 19:48 (ten years ago) link

That's the thing I don't get about that series of adverts - he is actually meant to be a prick, very clearly, and yet he's the one selling the product to the other characters, it seems? So... buy the product, be a prick like this guy?

― emil.y, Friday, 28 February 2014 19:50 (ten years ago) link

I think he might be intended as an endearing dork rather than insufferable wanker.

― I wish to incorporate disco into my small business (chap), Friday, 28 February 2014 19:52 (ten years ago) link

i'm gonna go with beer commercial logic here - be an asshole, get the girl, winner

― Nhex, Saturday, 1 March 2014 00:56 (ten years ago) link

it's pitched at students, they either love being fucking pricks or don't recognize when they are

― I never did nothing to no curry (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 1 March 2014 01:27 (ten years ago) link

He's not the girl-getting kind of arsehole though (despite having one in the ad).

― I wish to incorporate disco into my small business (chap), Saturday, 1 March 2014 01:45 (ten years ago) link

two months pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATPDV1piw8w

― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Monday, 12 May 2014 01:53 (nine years ago) link

somehow I had a feeling that was what this thread was bumped for. ugh.

― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Monday, 12 May 2014 03:59 (nine years ago) link

some discussion here the scariest commercial of all time!

― soxahatchee (Treeship), Monday, 12 May 2014 04:03 (nine years ago) link

but yeah, i am totally opposed to this commercial.

― soxahatchee (Treeship), Monday, 12 May 2014 04:05 (nine years ago) link

I'm sure the awesome bros who wrote that ad didn't consciously mean it this way but it's pretty misogynist in addition to otherwise being terrible.

― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Monday, 12 May 2014 04:07 (nine years ago) link

it's incredibly misogynistic. i think they made this one in order to offset that fun aspect of it, somehow, but it doesn't work.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_VjL5Y67nc

― soxahatchee (Treeship), Monday, 12 May 2014 04:13 (nine years ago) link

i find the puppet wife terrifying

― Nhex, Monday, 12 May 2014 04:13 (nine years ago) link

these commercials are also ableist. what are the wires if not a disability that severely impairs motor function?

― soxahatchee (Treeship), Monday, 12 May 2014 04:14 (nine years ago) link

xps yeah the one with the kid is unpleasant too.

― fit and working again, Monday, 12 May 2014 04:17 (nine years ago) link

That Werther's Original ad where the narrator recalls the time she visited her 'favourite caramel shop' makes me feel irrationally embarrassed. For one, I don't think I've ever heard of a caramel shop, let alone visited enough to have a favourite one. I don't think I've even met anyone who likes caramel enough to get even remotely excited about visiting a 'caramel shop'. What's more, if I were to ever visit such a theoretical Wonka factory, bedecked in sparkling gold and where kindly old gentlemen inspect each batch with a jeweller's eye, I'd be pretty fucking annoyed if one of them were to hand me a Werther's bloody Original.

― 1 pONO 3v3Ry+h1n G!!!1 (dog latin), Monday, 12 May 2014 09:33 (nine years ago) link

Just tried googling 'caramel shop' and all the links were either to Werther's Originals or to people making the same complaints as you on other forums.

― Turtleneck Work Solutions (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Monday, 12 May 2014 12:40 (nine years ago) link

Though I suppose those people could actually just be you using a variety of internet aliases and taking your complaint to as many places as possible.

― Turtleneck Work Solutions (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Monday, 12 May 2014 12:45 (nine years ago) link

Hah, I guess what annoys me most about the whole Werthers aesthetic are manifold:

- They've always been slightly creepy
- They try and generate a false sense of nostalgia which doesn't exist - the company has existed in some shape or form in Germany since 1903 but the brand 'Werther's Original' only went global in the 1990s, so it's bullshit basically.
- They're not even real caramels, they're boiled sweets with caramel flavourings, so it's bullshit basically.
- Just, just the horribleness of those ads - what's the opposite of a strawman? where someone creates a benefit on the basis of a false assumption (i.e. I'm obsessed with nasty hard caramel flavoured sweets).

― 1 pONO 3v3Ry+h1n G!!!1 (dog latin), Monday, 12 May 2014 13:50 (nine years ago) link

http://www.hotpickle.co.uk/case-study/werthers-original-caramel-shops

― conrad, Monday, 12 May 2014 13:56 (nine years ago) link

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ygpip1XrIYc/U2EjHYn_8GI/AAAAAAAAAj8/b0GzkcJtogY/s1600/harper+2.png

― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Monday, 12 May 2014 16:05 (nine years ago) link

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/dc-sports-bog/files/2014/04/HarperGatorade.gif

― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Monday, 12 May 2014 16:06 (nine years ago) link

For context
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wywLKat-q_s

― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 14 May 2014 23:53 (nine years ago) link

Nothing like a flying severed face with bloody tissue hanging off it to make me want to enjoy a sports drink.

― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 14 May 2014 23:54 (nine years ago) link

two weeks pass...

The Money Supermarket Snoop Dogg Car insurance one...

THE BLOKE HASN'T GOT A CAR!

― Mark G, Tuesday, 3 June 2014 06:54 (nine years ago) link

also the fact that it contains noted pornographer Snoop Dogg

― Angkor Waht (Neil S), Tuesday, 3 June 2014 08:29 (nine years ago) link

"Take your kids to Disneyland before they grow up and leave you to die all alone" is pretty harsh imo

― Naamloze vennootschap (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 14 June 2014 18:47 (nine years ago) link

Probably true of the sort of person whose thought processes run that way.

― Try Leuchars More! (dowd), Saturday, 14 June 2014 20:00 (nine years ago) link

I'm pretty sure the Direct TV Marionette commercials are about a serial killer and the conversations he has with his victims' corpses.

― Three Word Username, Sunday, 15 June 2014 06:45 (nine years ago) link

Fantastic us!
Da da dada da daaa daaa!

FUCK. OFF. Just FUCK OFF.

― kinder, Monday, 23 June 2014 20:14 (nine years ago) link

I have some Catalan friends and that advert sets their teeth on edge.

― now I'm the grandfather (dog latin), Tuesday, 24 June 2014 08:53 (nine years ago) link

two months pass...

(istr there being two of these threads, one for merkins and one for britishers. can't tell which this is)

anyway, the mentos bumper ads that wrap all the e4 programmes at the moment, the 'cool' members of the public break-dancing or free-running, are some low-quality, sub-apprentice-task bollocks.

― koogs, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 19:28 (nine years ago) link

I think this is the American one:

worst commercials on television

"Adverts" is a British thing, I think?

― oblique blasphemies (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Thursday, 28 August 2014 02:26 (nine years ago) link

Walkers' Market Deli: you pitiful bastards

― Daphnis Celesta, Sunday, 31 August 2014 07:39 (nine years ago) link

In August 2014, Blackwood made his dramatic return to the small screen as the face of Burger King. He fronted a range of crtically acclaimed advertisments, promoting the new Big King and New King Chicken 'King Deals', priced at £3.79 in stores nationwide.

― I only listen to Vantablack Metal (snoball), Sunday, 31 August 2014 19:13 (nine years ago) link

Haha I saw this yesterday and the first thing that ran through my head was "even just smelling this a little bit has already made me more suggestible".

― and she's crying in a stairwell in Devon (aldo), Monday, 1 September 2014 07:16 (nine years ago) link

Trivago guy. That is all.

― Iago Galdston, Monday, 1 September 2014 15:15 (nine years ago) link

Those Harvey Keitel "Wolf" ads..

I like them

But I can imagine some people might disagree...

― Mark G, Tuesday, 2 September 2014 09:28 (nine years ago) link

the samsung(?) amoled tablet advert that shows me how good it's new screen is compared to old led screens. it does this ON MY LED TV. how does that work?

― koogs, Tuesday, 2 September 2014 09:49 (nine years ago) link

Yep, we all had a good laff at that ol' classic yesterday.

― Mark G, Tuesday, 2 September 2014 10:11 (nine years ago) link

Trivago guy. That is all.
― Iago Galdston, Monday, September 1, 2014 10:15 AM (Yesterday)

http://youtu.be/ThunXjagQEk

― ╲╱\/╲/\╱╲╱\/\ (gr8080), Tuesday, 2 September 2014 15:46 (nine years ago) link

trivago guy is some experiment/genius idea to make the human equivalent of a jingle that is so obnoxious it stays in your head forever

― ╲╱\/╲/\╱╲╱\/\ (gr8080), Tuesday, 2 September 2014 15:48 (nine years ago) link

Belvita :-(

― jamiesummerz, Wednesday, 3 September 2014 14:07 (nine years ago) link

trainline.com app adverts.

― koogs, Wednesday, 3 September 2014 21:02 (nine years ago) link

four weeks pass...

The worst music related TV ad I've ever heard.

So bad, that even Universal have realised and swopped out the voice over for another, the fucking clots.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWXv0-whZlo

― MaresNest, Thursday, 2 October 2014 11:20 (nine years ago) link

four weeks pass...

Kasabian-looking dad on the new O2 advert i'm calling social services just in case

― The Falun Gong Show (Noodle Vague), Friday, 31 October 2014 21:47 (nine years ago) link

The woman on the new Park Hampers advert is going for 'sympathise that things are tough' but her eyes are screaming 'oh god how did my life come to this, why can't I get a proper job on a daytime soap or something'.

― the bowels are not what they seem (aldo), Tuesday, 4 November 2014 10:29 (nine years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWF2JBb1bvM

if you can make it more than 1:23 into this you're a far, far braver boy than I

― imago, Thursday, 13 November 2014 15:37 (nine years ago) link

Someone's been hired for 'blue sky thinking'.

(let's have a cloudy white sky!)

― Mark G, Thursday, 13 November 2014 16:03 (nine years ago) link

Actually, with maybe one exception, the supermarkets have uniformly gone with the "look how posh our customers are folks!" (Lidl, Asda in particular)

― Mark G, Thursday, 13 November 2014 16:04 (nine years ago) link

advert would be better if all the soldiers were played by Paul McCartney

― soref, Thursday, 13 November 2014 21:21 (nine years ago) link

looool

― imago, Thursday, 13 November 2014 21:22 (nine years ago) link

When my van's off the road I'm not working
So what am I gonna do?

― Turtleneck Work Solutions (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Thursday, 13 November 2014 21:55 (nine years ago) link

The Guiness ad with the stalwart lady bartender putting out the elijah's cup guiness every night until one day her soldier boy husband returns home and the other skeevey dudes who hit on her raise a glass to him -- that one made me soooo IA

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 13 November 2014 21:56 (nine years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rx0MRawkrj4

― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Thursday, 13 November 2014 22:57 (nine years ago) link

right now it's a toss up between the real creepy Viagra commerical with the long, uncomfortable close up on the Australian lady or the literal "come play, my lord" commercial with Kate Upton

― Abstinence Hawk (frogbs), Monday, 24 November 2014 16:43 (nine years ago) link

Cravendale advert no longer has Martyn Jacques on it, so now falls here.

Aldi have Jools Holland doing boogie twatting woogie.

― the bowels are not what they seem (aldo), Monday, 24 November 2014 18:30 (nine years ago) link

Yeah. Boo to crummy Cravendale swap-over

― Mark G, Monday, 24 November 2014 18:38 (nine years ago) link

Those Harvey Keitel "Wolf" ads..

I like them

But I can imagine some people might disagree...

I don't know what you mean by "Wolf" but if you mean those insurance ads, I like them too.

― Letsby Avenue (Tom D.), Monday, 24 November 2014 20:53 (nine years ago) link

Wolf was the character he played in pulp fiction who did a similar cleanup job.

― koogs, Monday, 24 November 2014 21:08 (nine years ago) link

I totally hadn't realised that was Harvey Keitel in the ads, I thought it was just some guy

― soref, Monday, 24 November 2014 21:10 (nine years ago) link

Oh, that's sort of ruined it now. (xp)

― Letsby Avenue (Tom D.), Monday, 24 November 2014 21:10 (nine years ago) link

That's the whole point though!

― koogs, Monday, 24 November 2014 21:15 (nine years ago) link

I've seen 'Pulp Ficton' but don't remember anything about it so I thought Keitel was just playing some arbitrary menacing Mafia like figure.

― Letsby Avenue (Tom D.), Monday, 24 November 2014 21:18 (nine years ago) link

That's pretty much what he does in Pulp Fiction.

― just like Nietzsche but with jokes (snoball), Monday, 24 November 2014 22:14 (nine years ago) link

The adverts are better though.

― Letsby Avenue (Tom D.), Tuesday, 25 November 2014 00:13 (nine years ago) link

Don't open this thread often but knew there was going to be talk about those Harvey Keitel ads. They are pretty good.

Should have hundreds of posts due to xmas.

― xyzzzz__, Tuesday, 25 November 2014 10:58 (nine years ago) link

seven months pass...

Not a fan of the current 3 Mobile advert with the purple muppet and East 17 singalong for some reason. If 'it's really alright' is the best tagline you can muster...

― cod latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 1 July 2015 14:31 (eight years ago) link

The first time I saw that Pussycat Dolls' "Don'tcha wish yr girlfriend" Sharon Osborne ad, I knew this would be played well over the sell-by date, and yet I hated it on first go.

OK, moneysupermarkt, you can drop it now. Yeah?

― Mark G, Wednesday, 1 July 2015 14:47 (eight years ago) link

yeah that's a really annoying one. it's like a perfect storm of things that total idiots would find amusing.

― cod latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 1 July 2015 14:50 (eight years ago) link

OK, moneysupermarkt, you can drop it now. Yeah?

They're still making 118 118 adverts after 143 years, despite the fact that noone has ever found those funny or entertaining or interesting.

― holger sharkey (Tom D.), Wednesday, 1 July 2015 15:00 (eight years ago) link

yeah what are those even? i always assumed other people understood them and i was just ignorant of their subtle charms.

― cod latin (dog latin), Wednesday, 1 July 2015 15:02 (eight years ago) link

Inexplicable, it's like whoever owns 118 118 is locked into some PFI-like contract and have to carry on forever with something that doesn't work and never has worked.

― holger sharkey (Tom D.), Wednesday, 1 July 2015 15:15 (eight years ago) link

You remember the number, though, that's all they want.

(Though why anyone would phone the number instead of just using the internet, I have no idea)

― Let's go, FIFA! (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Wednesday, 1 July 2015 21:09 (eight years ago) link

good god those Nicole Scherzinger Muller ads make me want to join the men's rights movement

― kinder, Wednesday, 8 July 2015 19:53 (eight years ago) link

Passing ref: "You know how they say, life begins at fifty?"

No they don't. They say forty.

Anyway, the one I wanted to mention was the one where it's a website for holidays/hotels, and the pug keeps barking "BOOK!"

Mainly because it's way louder than the rest of the ad, the button it is sampled on is pressed way too much, and it's very headache inducing.

― Mark G, Thursday, 16 July 2015 14:10 (eight years ago) link

little sweet.

― how's life, Monday, 20 July 2015 15:12 (eight years ago) link

How come no-one's given this old queen a kick in the bollocks yet?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGs3S17V0xI

― Possibly Fingers (Tom D.), Monday, 27 July 2015 15:59 (eight years ago) link

I think that's Joanne Heywood appearing halfway through, who was once in one of the BEST TV adverts of ALL TIME

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sG_e9fh7388

― pop addicts should "do their thing", whatever that may be (soref), Monday, 27 July 2015 18:20 (eight years ago) link

Why do so many voiceovers pronounce 'cherries' as 'charas' and 'babies' as 'behbehs'? Listen out next time there's an ad for Special K or Pampers. No one speaks like that IRL?

― (no offence to people) (dog latin), Tuesday, 28 July 2015 15:57 (eight years ago) link

Not sure if this one's on anymore but it invariably caused me to *say out loud, "What the fuck's it got to do with you anyway?"

(*I talk to the television... sometimes)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPIv350V2Tg

― Possibly Fingers (Tom D.), Tuesday, 28 July 2015 16:39 (eight years ago) link

three weeks pass...

just cannot fathom the thinking behind this one:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xegsh1CmPU

― ledge, Sunday, 23 August 2015 22:03 (eight years ago) link

More annoyed that they didn't follow up "is man... kind?" with is "is flame... able?" or some other such stupidity

― Nhex, Sunday, 23 August 2015 22:25 (eight years ago) link

There is this Panera Bread commercial that plays on the Comedy Central website that has this hippy dippy lady doing a whole passive aggressive "We think food should be good for you" schtick.

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Sunday, 23 August 2015 23:39 (eight years ago) link

Whoever thought the world needs more of that welsh opera singer on the go compare adverts needs a good kicking. They killed him off, went postmodern with him, introduced replacement characters but now he's back like some kind of messiah.

― koogs, Monday, 24 August 2015 04:46 (eight years ago) link

the replacement characters were even worse though, I think it's good that Go Compare realised there mistake and brought back the opera singer. Halfifax should take the hint and bring back Howard

― authentic plastic rat (soref), Monday, 24 August 2015 08:44 (eight years ago) link

'their' mistake, even.

also this guy was in the replacement adverts, I don't think any advert can really be a candidate for worst without him appearing at some point:

http://www.iwcp.co.uk/files/images/m33_newsimg_a30ba016-2947-43e9-bde0-d07f09345e0f.jpg?width=219&height=411

― authentic plastic rat (soref), Monday, 24 August 2015 08:45 (eight years ago) link

He's in about 1 in 3 adverts being shown on British TV at any given time. He's a 118 guy, I think?

― Fields of Fat Henry (Tom D.), Monday, 24 August 2015 09:04 (eight years ago) link

2015, Commercial, Problemo, CSA PAPER TOWELS, Blink, Tim James Brown
2014, Commercial, Belvita Bloke, BELVITA
2014, Commercial, Dad, B&Q
2014, Commercial, Mick Mechanic, GO COMPARE
2012, Video, Type 1, COLLAPSING IN PARTS (LIVE ART FILM), Cally Spooner, Cally Spooner
2012, Site Specific, Mad Hatter, WONDERLAND, Teatro Vivio, Sophie Austin
2011, Commercial, The Man, XFINITY ON DEMAND COMCAST, Patizan, Jared Eberhardt
2011, Animation, Norris, NORRIS AND STEPHANE, Azam, Rachael Le Feuvre and Ali Taylor
2011, Commercial, Explorer, MIKADO, Quad
2011, Commercial, Col, CARLING, BMB, Guy
2011, Commercial, Man, HORNBACH, Radical Media, Sebasstian Slesser
2010, Commercial, Man, DELL BLUE STREAK, Gorgous, Peter Thwaites
2010, Workshop, Bob, BANDAGES, Nwebury Corn Exchange, Kirsty Housley
2010, Commercial, 118, 118118, Brooklyn Brothers, Johnathon Hopkins
2010, Commercial, Dancing Man, SEAT LEON, The Gang, Sebastian Grousset
2010, Commercial, Col, CARLING HOME DRAUGHT UNIT, BMB
2009, Cabaret, Eye Dad, LIVE ART SPEED DATE, Stoke Newington International Airport, Brian
2009, Commercial, Karl, DAS HANDWERK, Gorgeous (Germany Only), Peter Thwaites
2009, Commercial, Col, CARLING, BMB, Fredrik Bond
2009, Commercial, Crying Man, VW, Radical (Germany Only), Sebastian Strasser
2009, Commercial, Explorer, RUBY SPLASH, Buiscuit, Jim Hoskin
2009, Commercial, 118, 118118, Brooklin Brothers, Kinka Usher
2008, Workshop, Hector Mann, THE BOOK OF ILLUSIONS, National Theatre Studio, Kirsty Housely
2008, Voice Over, Voice Over, AUTOGRAPH HUNTERS, Art.War, Libby Liburd
2008, Commercial, Colin, CARLING 'BELONG' COWBOYS, BMB, Fredrik Bond
2008, Documentary, Presenter, CARISBROOKE CASTLE, 1,000 YEARS OF HISTORY, Visual Light, Felicity Fair Thompson
2008, Commercial, 118 118, ASK US ANYTHING, WCRS, Simon Cole
2007, Commercial, CARLING 'BELONG' OUT, BMB, Fredrik Bond
2007, Viral, 118, FLASHDANCE, WCRS, Anson Haris
2007, Commercial, Trainers, CARLING 'BELONG' SPACE, BMB, Fredrik Bond
2007, Voice Over, Narrator, TWINKLE
2007, Commercial, 118, 118118, Owen Harris
2006, Dance, FACE DANCE, The Place, Jonathon Stone
2006, Commercial, 118, 118118, Jim Hoskin
2005, Viral, 118, 118118 SHOW, Meme, Anson Harris
2004, Commercial, 118, 118118, JJ Keith
2004, Commercial, Soaked Bloke, BBC3, Maggie Zackenhiem
2003, Commercial, Runner, 118 118, Jim Hoskins
2002, Commercial, Bolognese Boy, E A SPORTS
2002, Commercial, FRIDJI IDENTS, Elimidate
2002, Commercial, Student, GROLSH (HOLLAND ONLY)
2002, Commercial, Young Lover, KNORR SOUP
2002, Event, N.E.S.T.A. CONFERENCE, Greame Miller
2001, Commercial, Cool Dude, MAGNUM CARAMEL & NUTS

― authentic plastic rat (soref), Monday, 24 August 2015 09:14 (eight years ago) link

Is it possible he actually did some acting in 2013?

― Fields of Fat Henry (Tom D.), Monday, 24 August 2015 09:27 (eight years ago) link

can't believe that Halifax replaced Howard with this garbage:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3veZJjvhzM

I seem to remember it being revealed that these ppl were in fact actors, not real Halfix employees plucked from obscurity like Howard?

― authentic plastic rat (soref), Monday, 24 August 2015 09:38 (eight years ago) link

though apparently Howard was not very popular north of the border, don't know if you can confirm this, Tom

http://www.thefreelibrary.com/HOWARD'S+AWAY%3B+Customers+hated+the+singing+banker.-a0123984964

― authentic plastic rat (soref), Monday, 24 August 2015 09:39 (eight years ago) link

that Air N'nB ad missed a trick by omitting a Don't Look Now reveal at the end, with the baby in Juggalo make-up or similar

― Neil S, Monday, 24 August 2015 09:43 (eight years ago) link

13 Howard Brown You're The The First The Last My Everything Mar 2005

From April 2008, Brown no longer starred in the Halifax adverts, instead taking a role in its public relations department.[5][6] In 2011, he left the company.[7]

― Mark G, Monday, 24 August 2015 09:45 (eight years ago) link

CAPTION(S):
KEPT ON: Angela; SWITCH OFF: The; fat lady has sung for Howard, above

― Mark G, Monday, 24 August 2015 09:46 (eight years ago) link

halifax made a big deal out of auditioning internally - YOU COULD BE THE NEW HOWARD - but iirc you didn't get much ££

― ogmor, Monday, 24 August 2015 09:47 (eight years ago) link

I wonder what happened to Thomas Yau

http://www.yorkshireeveningpost.co.uk/news/latest-news/top-stories/i-m-into-something-good-a-halifax-ad-1-2166505

― authentic plastic rat (soref), Monday, 24 August 2015 09:53 (eight years ago) link

not a lot of recent activity of his bebo fanpage

http://o.bebo.com/Profile.jsp?MemberId=5687710758

― authentic plastic rat (soref), Monday, 24 August 2015 09:54 (eight years ago) link

oh wait, here he is

http://cs322328.vk.me/v322328020/6299/AI7vJG22ILM.jpg

― authentic plastic rat (soref), Monday, 24 August 2015 10:00 (eight years ago) link

two weeks pass...

https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfl1/v/t1.0-9/11988753_421007178092874_6926802536226818241_n.png?oh=e7ac350a4ce241b4d5d319459019e311&oe=56A4BF4E

― bizarro gazzara, Saturday, 12 September 2015 21:41 (eight years ago) link

argh, wrong thread

― bizarro gazzara, Saturday, 12 September 2015 21:41 (eight years ago) link

Was wondering what on earth that was an advert for

― Let's go, FIFA! (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Monday, 14 September 2015 18:58 (eight years ago) link

God.

― Mark G, Monday, 14 September 2015 19:26 (eight years ago) link

three weeks pass...

"Be my hope beating in my chest
you're the only thing I need to make make me the best, singing .. WO WO OH OH.."

Asda ad. Presumably this fakey Coldplay type song was a real song once, but he sounds too puffed up w/ his own importance to need a g/f/ or anything out of Asda anyway.

― Mark G, Thursday, 8 October 2015 16:14 (eight years ago) link

one month passes...

http://offlinehbpl.hbpl.co.uk/news/OKM/richedit/Screen-Shot-2015-10-15-at-15.35.24.png

I genuinely feel angry every time I see one of these ads, according to the article below they are going to using these characters in their ads for the foreseeable future

The spot will show the family in a supermarket with Ben Miller's character Roger playing an 'embarrassing dad' figure, quizzing the checkout colleague on the mechanics of the Brand Guarantee.
It will be followed by a spot showing Ruth Jones' character Jo, who "gets on her high horse about certain things", tutting the word "typical" when she sees a queue at the till before being pleasantly surprised when a Tesco colleague opens a check out to serve her... The characters in the campaign represent a modern family, with "sexual chemistry" between the parents and banter between the father and son, Freddie, who represents a 'boomerang' child back living with parents in his 20s.

http://www.marketingmagazine.co.uk/article/1368572/tesco-unveils-major-brand-campaign-family-played-ruth-jones-ben-miller

― soref, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 19:43 (eight years ago) link

has there ever been an ad campaign of this type, centered on a fictional family, where the family have not been completely hateful and enraging?

― soref, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 19:44 (eight years ago) link

Christ that's terrible. 'Make the average customer out to be a completely embarrassing moron' is never a good strategy. I quite like Armstrong and Miller as a comedy duo, so it's extra annoying

I never liked those Paul Whitehouse insurance (is it insurance I don't even know?) ads where he plays different people in each one, but doesn't say or do anything remotely funny in any of them, just talks about insurance (or whatever it is he's selling).

― canoon fooder (dog latin), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 19:57 (eight years ago) link

in different accents though tbf

― kinder, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 20:00 (eight years ago) link

sometimes with a fake nose

― John Dope Assos (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 20:02 (eight years ago) link

Based on many commercials that I see these days, I'm led to believe that ad execs find most people stupid and loathesome and also believe that most people find one another (and, presumably, themselves) stupid and loathesome.

― Gary (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 20:05 (eight years ago) link

has there ever been an ad campaign of this type, centered on a fictional family, where the family have not been completely hateful and enraging?

OXO family? Or maybe I'm being a) nostalgic, b) comparing them favourably to my own deeply flawed relatives.

― Does anyone know the Klingon for T'ai Chi? (snoball), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 20:11 (eight years ago) link

OXO family beats the new Tesco ads in the 'with "sexual chemistry" between the parents' stakes, at the very least

― soref, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 20:18 (eight years ago) link

I find no sales technique quite as persuasive as the suggestion that the fictional characters making a pitch are engaged in a whole lot of offscreen fucking.

― Gary (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 20:37 (eight years ago) link

RIBENA BERRY ORGY!!!

― Does anyone know the Klingon for T'ai Chi? (snoball), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 20:45 (eight years ago) link

TETLEY TEA FOLK GANG-BANG!!!

― Does anyone know the Klingon for T'ai Chi? (snoball), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 20:46 (eight years ago) link

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/2nx7qPVa-OU/hqdefault.jpg

the sexual chemistry between Nicholas Lyndhurst and Nicholas-Lyndhurst-in-a-wig is the gold standard here imo

― soref, Tuesday, 10 November 2015 20:47 (eight years ago) link

I used to work with someone whose wife looked like him in a wig. It was rather disconcerting.

― Does anyone know the Klingon for T'ai Chi? (snoball), Tuesday, 10 November 2015 21:00 (eight years ago) link

Saw two new Tesco ones yesterday - in the first the son tries to pick up a woman closer to his mother's age than his, and the second is about 'gluten free' and how stupid the son is.

― suffeeciant attreebution (aldo), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 09:52 (eight years ago) link

That "pick-up" one is the most cringe-inducing and yukky ad ever.

― Mark G, Wednesday, 11 November 2015 10:04 (eight years ago) link

ever.

― Mark G, Wednesday, 11 November 2015 10:05 (eight years ago) link

Look forward to seeing it!

― Caput Johannis in Disco (Tom D.), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 10:24 (eight years ago) link

The ads, which will be followed by a "Christmas themed" execution later in the year

this sounds promising at least

― conrad, Wednesday, 11 November 2015 10:35 (eight years ago) link

Based on many commercials that I see these days, I'm led to believe that ad execs find most people stupid and loathesome and also believe that most people find one another (and, presumably, themselves) stupid and loathesome.
― Gary (Old Lunch), Tuesday, November 10, 2015 8:05 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ad execs otm

― un-ironic, earnest racist manning remains to be rehabilitated (Bananaman Begins), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 12:36 (eight years ago) link

im confused by the new virgin broadband 'inspiration' ad which turns into a 'devil child' horror movie trailer for the last 3 seconds

― The story of a Romanian (Blandford Forum), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 12:53 (eight years ago) link

http://adturds.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Screen-Shot-2015-10-10-at-23.45.11.png

― The story of a Romanian (Blandford Forum), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 12:55 (eight years ago) link

ad execs playing off superiority complex of most people thinking most other people are stupid and loathesome. also likely playing off our superiority towards the ads themselves. not only are we smarter than the idiots portrayed in these ads, we are smarter than the people making the ads. of course we still feel a tiny bit of gratitude for the ads for indulging our sad egos.

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 15:56 (eight years ago) link

Speak for yourself.

― Caput Johannis in Disco (Tom D.), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 16:29 (eight years ago) link

really hate the Geico ads that are rip off the Police Squad fake-freeze endings

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 11 November 2015 16:33 (eight years ago) link

one month passes...

Has this been posted before?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIf27fSBs78

― Anyway, it's not a three, it's a yogh. (Tom D.), Saturday, 26 December 2015 13:10 (eight years ago) link

And while we're on Kia cars, I think we have a new contender for 'Advert Man', this actor is showing up in a lot of adverts these days...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJIkuxMhtX0

― Anyway, it's not a three, it's a yogh. (Tom D.), Saturday, 26 December 2015 13:12 (eight years ago) link

three weeks pass...

I know the Dolmio ads have been pulled up before, but this is a new level...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlH3WX2elEw

― canoon fooder (dog latin), Friday, 22 January 2016 10:41 (eight years ago) link

I saw that on TV with the sound off a few days ago and just reflexively went "NO!". Don't want to know what it's like with the sound on.

― bored at work (snoball), Friday, 22 January 2016 18:35 (eight years ago) link

trivago guy dancing

― Cornelius Pardew (jim in glasgow), Friday, 22 January 2016 18:37 (eight years ago) link

the fucking chimp

― Jute Gazte (Noodle Vague), Friday, 22 January 2016 18:39 (eight years ago) link

four months pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UI_6mYiINI

watching hockey online and i guess they only have so many advertisers because this fucking ad plays at every single break and i hate everyone involved

fuck you and your 'welcome, welcome'

real people not actors my ass

― mookieproof, Friday, 10 June 2016 02:05 (seven years ago) link

there's an ad for a new phone app for your refrigerator that shows you what is inside. there are a few commercials for it but one involved an insufferable couple; he is at a grocery store, she is literally standing in front of the refrigerator, and he asks her if they are out of eggs. she can't turn around because she is scooping out a watermelon (to which he says "I know, you're an artist!"). both these people would lose their heads if they weren't attached at the neck.

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 10 June 2016 14:15 (seven years ago) link

those Chevy commercials are godawful, all of them

― frogbs, Friday, 10 June 2016 14:20 (seven years ago) link

i hate that i still can recall that ad where the dude's wife was a marionette spilling lemonade and stuff :(

― brimstead, Friday, 10 June 2016 20:36 (seven years ago) link

Anything from fifa or uefa

― Daithi Bowsie (darraghmac), Friday, 10 June 2016 20:51 (seven years ago) link

Cunt David Mitchell voicing Barclaycard? Sounds about right

― The Brexit Club (Noodle Vague), Friday, 10 June 2016 20:56 (seven years ago) link

(xp) Anything with a sportsperson of any description in it.

― Larry 'Leg' Smith (Tom D.), Friday, 10 June 2016 20:58 (seven years ago) link

puppy monkey baby

― The Nickelbackean Ethics (jim in glasgow), Friday, 10 June 2016 20:59 (seven years ago) link

those Chevy commercials are godawful, all of them

Their bearded flack and the incredibly awful gimmicks in the ads are so fucking irritating... "WHICH OF THESE TRUCKS DO U THINK WON AN AWARD HA HA FUCK YOU THEY ALL DID CHEVY BIIITCH"

― On this timescale, all matter is liquid. (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Sunday, 12 June 2016 00:29 (seven years ago) link

three weeks pass...

If I ever run into the bloke who does the Helmann's BLT voiceover irl he's gon' die

― and the Gove maths out Raab (Noodle Vague), Monday, 4 July 2016 22:17 (seven years ago) link

real people not actors my ass

oh, they are real people all right, carefully screened and auditioned, then handed their lines and allowed as many takes as were required to get the shots the director wanted. but they don't belong to the Screen Actors Guild and weren't paid at scale. hence, not actors.

― a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Monday, 4 July 2016 22:25 (seven years ago) link

really weirded out by the diet chef advert

― soref, Tuesday, 5 July 2016 15:50 (seven years ago) link

two months pass...

There were two of these threads, a US one and a UK one. Seems to be mixed together now. Apologies if this doesn't make sense.

Someone needs to tell Jeremy Clarkson that France and Germany have their own Amazons and there's no need to drone deliver anything.

― koogs, Saturday, 1 October 2016 08:52 (seven years ago) link

Twat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbxcosxwCZk

― (SNIFFING AND INDISTINCT SOBBING) (Tom D.), Wednesday, 5 October 2016 21:26 (seven years ago) link

Can you describe the new CHEVY CRUZE in 3 emojis!???

― frogbs, Wednesday, 5 October 2016 21:40 (seven years ago) link

xp it's almost 8 years since that guy's first appearance on ilx!

ITT: Post Youtube clips of contenders for the worst song of the decade so far

― soref, Wednesday, 5 October 2016 22:25 (seven years ago) link

schpock

― koogs, Thursday, 6 October 2016 04:46 (seven years ago) link

US: i really don't like the subway commercials where people use the names of subway sandwiches as metonymy for the specific weekdays they are the "subs of", and the beaming new father says his daughter was "born on chicken teriyaki day". have more than once seen this scheduled back-to-back w the "food you want to fork" commercial about wanting to fuck food and the world thus sketched is an unhealthy one.

― florence foster wallace (difficult listening hour), Thursday, 6 October 2016 07:02 (seven years ago) link

Is that the one where the guy is, ugh, spanking his lunch?

― "raw buttin' these toilet seats" (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Thursday, 6 October 2016 20:04 (seven years ago) link

yes.

― florence foster wallace (difficult listening hour), Thursday, 6 October 2016 20:06 (seven years ago) link

Yeah both those and the Subway ads are terrible.

― "raw buttin' these toilet seats" (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Thursday, 6 October 2016 20:18 (seven years ago) link

When I was in America recently I saw the same ad about a hundred times where a guy is at a hipster fondue party but he doesn't want any of their fancy-pants food because he's bought a fucking Taco Bell burrito with him. You know, like you would if you were going to a party where you knew there was going to be food. And he's so smug about it, it makes me annoyed on behalf of the snobby hipster characters the ad is trying to show up.

― Pheeel, Thursday, 6 October 2016 20:18 (seven years ago) link

I'm still trying to figure out of the mustache guy in that is Thomas Middleditch.

― "raw buttin' these toilet seats" (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Thursday, 6 October 2016 22:00 (seven years ago) link

schpock
otm

― sktsh, Friday, 7 October 2016 08:33 (seven years ago) link

that Nationwide ad is a mix between The Stone Roses and Primal Scream with the swagger of Oasis

― Lennon, Elvis, Hendrix etc (dog latin), Friday, 7 October 2016 09:58 (seven years ago) link

I almost posted it on that thread.

― (SNIFFING AND INDISTINCT SOBBING) (Tom D.), Friday, 7 October 2016 12:38 (seven years ago) link

two weeks pass...

the genre of advert where someone does something banal and it's presented in an ironically heroic way is pretty much always terrible, but there's something particularly insulting about the laziness/lack of inspiration on display here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GHLTDIOmog

the money supermarket ads have obviously popularised it, but I feel like there was an earlier specific ad that started this bad trend, I can't remember what it was, though.

― soref, Sunday, 23 October 2016 13:50 (seven years ago) link

I suppose you don't have the Bud Light Real Men of Genius/Real American Heroes ads over there--an entire campaign in the "banal things treated as heroic" genre

― Dan I., Sunday, 23 October 2016 20:31 (seven years ago) link

Which, holy shit now that I've googled them, started in 1998 and has had over 200 installments

― Dan I., Sunday, 23 October 2016 20:33 (seven years ago) link

This is loathsome enough from the start, but then "our technology has to hang tough with us" pushes it right over the edge.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-hHvdvUIpQ

Yeah, so you both know where you can shove your laptop and your long battery life and your 44 different countries across all seven continents and your we wanted to help more people overcome their fears and see the world, don't you?

― Bloody Snail, Monday, 24 October 2016 00:02 (seven years ago) link

The other one in that series where the guy that isn't Will-I-Am says "When I was young, I promised myself that I would never throw up" I was all "What has that got to do with the laptop or the films you do?"

(There is another, a set designer with an unlikely name, that one is not too bad)

― Mark G, Monday, 24 October 2016 00:21 (seven years ago) link

Beowulf Borritt! who is the son of this guy: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gabor_Boritt

disappointingly, his other sons have fairly boring names:

Together they have raised three sons: Beowulf Boritt is a set designer in New York City, Jake Boritt is a filmmaker who lives in Harlem, and Daniel Boritt is a biologist specializing in birds who lives in Indianapolis, Indiana.

― - SOLO - Pink Dolphin, Bubbling Cassina (frog), Indris, Monkeys, Tiger (soref), Monday, 24 October 2016 00:47 (seven years ago) link

I don't think I've seen the one where a guy that isn't Will-I-Am talks about throwing up, are you sure that exists?

― - SOLO - Pink Dolphin, Bubbling Cassina (frog), Indris, Monkeys, Tiger (soref), Monday, 24 October 2016 00:49 (seven years ago) link

The Nationwide advert with the young poet guy annoys me intensely and because of one specific thing to do with the poem itself; he does a bit early on where he lambasts "dads dad dance to dad music centuries since it made it in the charts" but then boasts later about him and his mates coming home drunk "singing to Britpop" because that's of their time and is their thing.

The guy's about 20. His dad will be from the Britpop era, that music from 20 years ago.

― Horizontal Superman is invulnerable (aldo), Monday, 24 October 2016 08:08 (seven years ago) link

these contradictions resolve themselves if you remember that the guy is a cunt doing a cunt poem for cunts

― nom de grrrrr (Noodle Vague), Monday, 24 October 2016 08:15 (seven years ago) link

the worst bit about that ad is it goes on long enough to make me vomit up my entire skeleton before it ends

― Lennon, Elvis, Hendrix etc (dog latin), Monday, 24 October 2016 11:23 (seven years ago) link

crikey

― Ireland's Industry (that is what we are) (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Monday, 24 October 2016 11:25 (seven years ago) link

didn't realise quite how strongly it affected me tbh

John Harris white-nostalgia-supremacy repacking a cheap cartoon of working class community to sell it back to the shattered diaspora is pretty aggravating tbf

― nom de grrrrr (Noodle Vague), Monday, 24 October 2016 11:28 (seven years ago) link

in an age where something as magical and life-affirming as the Duck commercial exists there's just no need

― nom de grrrrr (Noodle Vague), Monday, 24 October 2016 11:41 (seven years ago) link

Ice T at a lemonade stand

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Monday, 24 October 2016 14:50 (seven years ago) link

if you want to know more about the guy from the Nationwide ad, the has an impressively comprehensive wiki page: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skint_%26_Demoralised

Skint & Demoralised began when Wakefield teenager Matt Abbott started doing stand-up performance poetry in late 2006. With comical themes such as tales from Seaside towns[1] and tragic nights-out,[2] he was often a hit with a pleasantly surprised audience.[3]

― - SOLO - Pink Dolphin, Bubbling Cassina (frog), Indris, Monkeys, Tiger (soref), Monday, 24 October 2016 16:37 (seven years ago) link

He's not 20 years old then.

― Millions of species Faye Dunaway (Tom D.), Monday, 24 October 2016 17:43 (seven years ago) link

Ice T at a lemonade stand

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Monday, October 24, 2016 10:50 AM (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

It's good that he is shooing away all those pedophiles though.

― Evan, Monday, 24 October 2016 19:53 (seven years ago) link

Tragically he seems to have forgotten his own name.

― Lawsonomy Domine (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Monday, 24 October 2016 21:56 (seven years ago) link

wait, do you mean the ad with these two? I'm pretty sure he says he promised himself that he would never grow up, not throw up

http://www.winbeta.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Capture-d%E2%80%99e%CC%81cran-2016-08-01-a%CC%80-17.18.37-1040x580.png

― - SOLO - Pink Dolphin, Bubbling Cassina (frog), Indris, Monkeys, Tiger (soref), Tuesday, 25 October 2016 21:29 (seven years ago) link

He's definitely not Will-I-Am though, seems to be some kind of hipster Pac Man

― Lawsonomy Domine (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Wednesday, 26 October 2016 00:54 (seven years ago) link

> The other one in that series where the guy that isn't Will-I-Am says "When I was young, I promised myself that I would never throw up"

Will-i-isn't is actually the bloke who did Book Of Life

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jorge_Gutierrez_(animator)

and it is 'grow up' but in a thick mexican accent.

― koogs, Thursday, 27 October 2016 20:17 (seven years ago) link

nice of Nationwide to let Kate Tempest have a crack on their other advert

― nom de grrrrr (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 27 October 2016 20:46 (seven years ago) link

I'm not usually fussed about Phillip Glenister either way but that one where he's badgering you into comparing energy prices makes me want to KILL

― ultros ultros-ghali, Friday, 28 October 2016 14:08 (seven years ago) link

Hi,

It took me a couple of viewings to work out what he actually said. Was being ironic. Ad is OK otherwise.

― Mark G, Sunday, 30 October 2016 00:40 (seven years ago) link

xp i usually find his onscreen persona noxious, that's just an especially ripe example

― nom de grrrrr (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 30 October 2016 08:12 (seven years ago) link

does Glenister actually do any acting these days aside from adverts where he trades off his lovable bent cop persona?

― soref, Sunday, 30 October 2016 13:17 (seven years ago) link

i think the worst part of the current one is the suggestion that people are moaning about paying high energy bills and need to snap out of it and get on that internet, whereas in real life people moan about the relentless tirade of shitty comparison sites offering you the chance to save £1.40 a year by committing to a 10 year contract with Ulan Batteries Inc

― nom de grrrrr (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 30 October 2016 14:12 (seven years ago) link

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CZCk4eUUMAAzp7t.jpg

― ヽ（´ー｀）┌ (CompuPost), Sunday, 30 October 2016 15:39 (seven years ago) link

there's a commercial for a new car that brakes by itself. it starts off with a woman singing to herself and then imagining she is a star at a concert while the car stops for her just barely avoiding crashing into another car. then it cuts to a really dumb look on her face. it's terrifying.

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Monday, 31 October 2016 00:24 (seven years ago) link

dear old lady in the Bisto advert, just because you are in the twilight of your years and feeling a little socially isolated, there's no need to talk like such a fucking feeb, kthanx enjoy your dinner

― more fun than an Acclaimed Music poll (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 9 November 2016 21:30 (seven years ago) link

getting bullied on a scary estate? put a dog in your jacket

― sktsh, Thursday, 10 November 2016 11:06 (seven years ago) link

three weeks pass...

lifetimepaybackguarantee

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gbxz4XuB4oQ

― The Doug Walters of Crime (Tom D.), Wednesday, 7 December 2016 11:02 (seven years ago) link

Wow that's like an alternate universe version of our Alex Trebek-sponosored Colonial Life insurance commercials

― Nhex, Friday, 9 December 2016 22:49 (seven years ago) link

kia soul advert anyone. anthropomorphic rodents playing guitar in central park etc.

― harold melvin and the bluetones (jim in vancouver), Friday, 9 December 2016 23:02 (seven years ago) link

that British Seniors ad reeks of client interference

― Lennon, Elvis, Hendrix etc (dog latin), Saturday, 10 December 2016 00:29 (seven years ago) link

the money supermarket ads have obviously popularised it, but I feel like there was an earlier specific ad that started this bad trend, I can't remember what it was, though.

― soref, Sunday, October 23, 2016 2:50 PM (one month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Makes me think of this one:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TI2n_qlxuzk

People who check their credit scores on a website hardly qualify as a "subculture". The ad makes it sound like they've joined a credit-based version of Fight Club or something.

― Pheeel, Sunday, 11 December 2016 14:41 (seven years ago) link

I only see these in the cinema where they are uniformly unwelcome; the trend these last few years in uk ads seems to be this horrible kind of... slam poetry? dribble that sounds like it's been written by a nine-year-old but is either intoned by standard vo people in tones of great import or yeah a kate tempest type, the nadir (so far) is the oxfam xmas ad I saw today, it's like "shop to stop the hate we hope we shop we breathe the light to shop the mop the blop sip sop" and it fucking goes on like that for like 5 minutes

― banfred bann (wins), Sunday, 11 December 2016 14:54 (seven years ago) link

one month passes...

"Wyeargh.. Alright, I could have made some extra spendin' money by sellin my car to Webuyanyoldmotorforafiver.com but my time means more to me, so I set light to it! I don't have to do anyfing I can't be bothered to do, do I small child?"
"No, daddy!"

― Mark G, Wednesday, 18 January 2017 16:44 (seven years ago) link

wins otm (xp)

― Eats like Elvis, shits like De Niro (Tom D.), Wednesday, 18 January 2017 16:53 (seven years ago) link

fair enough..

― Mark G, Wednesday, 18 January 2017 16:54 (seven years ago) link

not seen the webuyanycar ad, but it actually sounds pretty funny (?)

wins otm about the slam poetry ads. usually it's down to the copywriter being totally uninspired and just scribbling down random catchwords with the help of the rhyming dictionary.

― Lennon, Elvis, Hendrix etc (dog latin), Wednesday, 18 January 2017 17:08 (seven years ago) link

Frylight advert with nodding head middle class families. Smugness dripping out of the screen.

― Mud... Jam... Failure... (aldo), Thursday, 19 January 2017 09:26 (seven years ago) link

why are they nodding? what is the reason? is there an added ingredient?

― Lennon, Elvis, Hendrix etc (dog latin), Thursday, 19 January 2017 09:33 (seven years ago) link

I think it's just "Aren't we great? Yes we are."

― Mud... Jam... Failure... (aldo), Thursday, 19 January 2017 09:36 (seven years ago) link

Oh and fuck off Tesco with yer man Dave who always puts yoghurt in his curry because HIS ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP IS BASED ON A LIE.

It's not heartwarming, what else is he lying about? That he had to take out a second mortgage to fund his scratchcard addiction? His second family on an estate outside Telford? That he used to be a conjoined twin?

― Mud... Jam... Failure... (aldo), Thursday, 19 January 2017 09:39 (seven years ago) link

a couple of particularly egregious, pompous "inspirational" high street bank ads out there at the moment: Natwest "hmm makes you think" and Lloyds "For the journey" GTFO

― Neil S, Thursday, 19 January 2017 10:03 (seven years ago) link

banks are just so fucking clueless about everything.

― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Thursday, 19 January 2017 10:52 (seven years ago) link

tactic now seems to try and be our fwend to undo some of the reputational damage from the financial crisis. Good luck, multinational financial institutions!

― Neil S, Thursday, 19 January 2017 11:35 (seven years ago) link

10 most complained about ads via BBC

1. MoneySuperMarket.com (dancing bodyguard) 1,063
2. MoneySuperMarket.com (gang dance-off) 898
3. Match.com (kissing women) 896
4. MoneySuperMarket.com (solo dance-off) 530
5. Paddy Power (blind football) 450
6. Smart Energy GB (Gaz and Leccy) 253
7. Paddy Power (Scotland fans) 220
8. Home Office (domestic violence) 216
9. Gourmet Burger Kitchen (vegetarianism) 195
10. Mars/Maltesers (disability) 151
Source: Advertising Standards Authority

― nashwan, Thursday, 19 January 2017 12:02 (seven years ago) link

Interesting how match got made a link there...

― nashwan, Thursday, 19 January 2017 12:03 (seven years ago) link

1. MoneySuperMarket.com (dancing bodyguard) 1,063

Eh? That's easily the least annoying MoneySuperMarket advert.

― Eats like Elvis, shits like De Niro (Tom D.), Thursday, 19 January 2017 12:16 (seven years ago) link

apparently he grabbed his dick.

people who complain about ads seem to be of a certain political stripe, see number 3.

― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Thursday, 19 January 2017 12:27 (seven years ago) link

has anyone seen the maltesers ad? apparently it features a woman in a wheelchair joking that her boyfriend mistakes spasms for orgasms.

without seeing it it's hard to know if it's massively offensive or quite inclusive.

― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Thursday, 19 January 2017 12:28 (seven years ago) link

There's at least two of those. All I can say is, if you find them massively offensive then you are a massive twunt.

― Eats like Elvis, shits like De Niro (Tom D.), Thursday, 19 January 2017 12:35 (seven years ago) link

Hold on though, I don't think I've seen the one you described, but I don't pay too much attention to Maltesers ads tbf.

― Eats like Elvis, shits like De Niro (Tom D.), Thursday, 19 January 2017 12:36 (seven years ago) link

they're trying to be inclusive but they're hamfisted and they're adverts

― conrad, Thursday, 19 January 2017 12:37 (seven years ago) link

^^^^

― Eats like Elvis, shits like De Niro (Tom D.), Thursday, 19 January 2017 12:37 (seven years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgUqmKQ9Lrg

― Le Bateau Ivre, Thursday, 19 January 2017 13:01 (seven years ago) link

Oh yes, seen that one dozens of times

― Eats like Elvis, shits like De Niro (Tom D.), Thursday, 19 January 2017 13:23 (seven years ago) link

they're rubbishy adverts because they're adverts but I'd imagine a lot of disabled people are happy to see any representation that doesn't involve people being plucky, inspiring victims

― Rock Wokeman (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 19 January 2017 13:28 (seven years ago) link

this is mint if you've never seen it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fx9fAEJeI0E

― Rock Wokeman (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 19 January 2017 13:29 (seven years ago) link

what's the problem with Gaz and Leccy?

― soref, Thursday, 19 January 2017 13:42 (seven years ago) link

they're rubbishy adverts because they're adverts but I'd imagine a lot of disabled people are happy to see any representation that doesn't involve people being plucky, inspiring victims

― Rock Wokeman (Noodle Vague), donderdag 19 januari 2017 13:28 (twelve minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^^^^^ this. and it takes a special kind of ninny to be offended by it.

― Le Bateau Ivre, Thursday, 19 January 2017 13:43 (seven years ago) link

the problem with Gaz and Leccy is they make me want to kill whoever came up with them

― Rock Wokeman (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 19 January 2017 13:46 (seven years ago) link

reckon its just because they hit each other?

I'll never forget hearing my step father ringing up and complaining to the BBC over an episode of Jim'll Fix it. He used to work as an ICI safety officer, and in the episode they had kids playing around with liquid nitrogen or something.

― Ste, Thursday, 19 January 2017 13:59 (seven years ago) link

Just youtubed and have never seen Gaz and Leccy before.

― Eats like Elvis, shits like De Niro (Tom D.), Thursday, 19 January 2017 14:01 (seven years ago) link

Or Gourmet Burger Kitchen.

― Eats like Elvis, shits like De Niro (Tom D.), Thursday, 19 January 2017 14:02 (seven years ago) link

These must run on channels I don't watch or have. Sky maybe?

― Eats like Elvis, shits like De Niro (Tom D.), Thursday, 19 January 2017 14:03 (seven years ago) link

those T-Mobile ads where "fees" are represented by giant lice crawling all over are really disgusting

― frogbs, Thursday, 19 January 2017 14:24 (seven years ago) link

Up against the wall, come the revolution...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPaknE25GL0

― Eats like Elvis, shits like De Niro (Tom D.), Wednesday, 1 February 2017 09:26 (seven years ago) link

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/hwoijXA_M84/hqdefault.jpg

why is this guy in every advert all of a sudden? taking the food out of the mouths of belvita bloke's kids

http://www.iwcp.co.uk/files/images/m33_newsimg_a30ba016-2947-43e9-bde0-d07f09345e0f.jpg?width=219&height=411

― soref, Wednesday, 8 February 2017 18:39 (seven years ago) link

Maybe the Belvita guy went back to experimental theatre.

― Eats like Elvis, shits like De Niro (Tom D.), Wednesday, 8 February 2017 18:43 (seven years ago) link

Pukka Pie mom seems way too posh to be sat tucking into a Pukka Pie

― Dick Hole Son (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 8 February 2017 19:38 (seven years ago) link

Nathan Sykes tickets!

― kinder, Saturday, 18 February 2017 22:10 (seven years ago) link

Pukka Pie mom seems way too posh to be sat tucking into a Pukka Pie

She's not, she needed a payday loan to fix her boiler the last time I saw her on telly.

― Mud... Jam... Failure... (aldo), Sunday, 19 February 2017 10:29 (seven years ago) link

posh people get payday loans, but only in the adverts

― Mark G, Sunday, 19 February 2017 10:36 (seven years ago) link

dear Aviva, it's not a "social experiment", it's a shitty fucking advert. cheers.

― Treesh-Hurt (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 22 February 2017 16:50 (seven years ago) link

I'm in the cinema rn and there's an advert for a bank that has top cat in it and is unbelievably long and bad, they've hired some mook who cannot do the voice of top cat to do the voice of top cat

― wins, Tuesday, 7 March 2017 18:43 (seven years ago) link

You haven't seen the Flintstones and Scooby Doo ones yet?

― Return of the Flustered Bootle Native (Tom D.), Tuesday, 7 March 2017 18:51 (seven years ago) link

yabba-dabba-don't

― barry snappleton (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 7 March 2017 18:54 (seven years ago) link

a stoner and a magical dog want to sell me financial products

― Neil S, Tuesday, 7 March 2017 19:15 (seven years ago) link

Top Cat is a vagrant and con artist, I don't know if that's better or worse.

― Return of the Flustered Bootle Native (Tom D.), Tuesday, 7 March 2017 19:28 (seven years ago) link

Fred Flintstone is a noted abuser of dinosaurs. Which shoddily drawn cartoon character CAN I trust to sell me a mortgage???

― Neil S, Tuesday, 7 March 2017 19:34 (seven years ago) link

Deputy Bank Manager Dawg

― barry snappleton (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 7 March 2017 19:59 (seven years ago) link

done for impersonating a police officer IIRC

― Neil S, Tuesday, 7 March 2017 20:03 (seven years ago) link

You haven't seen the Flintstones and Scooby Doo ones yet?

yuck, no - are they also unbelievably long with terrible voice work?

― wins, Tuesday, 7 March 2017 21:13 (seven years ago) link

The Flash ad where the dog sings about all the mud being gone makes me hate dogs and television and everything. Jesus, the person who wrote that ad must hate themselves.

― trishyb, Tuesday, 7 March 2017 21:17 (seven years ago) link

(xp) Terrible voice work is a given, I assume you saw a long version for cinema.

― Return of the Flustered Bootle Native (Tom D.), Tuesday, 7 March 2017 21:24 (seven years ago) link

i find the Flash advert weirdly endearing, i like the 2-person perspective

― barry snappleton (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 7 March 2017 21:31 (seven years ago) link

i mean it's no Duck but

― barry snappleton (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 7 March 2017 21:31 (seven years ago) link

The hairdo adverts with the adults lip syncing the kids talking are absolutely repulsive. I hate this shit. And the revers - babies talking digitally - is also disgusting.

― Heavy Doors (jed_), Tuesday, 7 March 2017 21:43 (seven years ago) link

hairdo

I had to think about this for a bit, but I guess you meant Haribo and some auto-correct kicked in? If so, co-sign. Especially the one in the boardroom.

― well the bitter comes out better on a stolen Switch cartridge (snoball), Tuesday, 7 March 2017 21:51 (seven years ago) link

Lol @ hairdo.

― Heavy Doors (jed_), Tuesday, 7 March 2017 21:59 (seven years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Put down that cardboard box, son, and run, run like the wind.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djUt_5Ko7Yw

― Bill Teeters (Tom D.), Monday, 3 April 2017 09:53 (seven years ago) link

it would be a real shame if an *accident* were to happen

― Neil S, Monday, 3 April 2017 11:42 (seven years ago) link

two weeks pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5d5PPsBpq_I

pray i never come across you after i've had a few drinks, motherfucker

― Brexterminate all the brutes (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 22 April 2017 11:47 (seven years ago) link

Brexterminate the insufferable brute

― On Some Faraday Beach (Le Bateau Ivre), Saturday, 22 April 2017 11:54 (seven years ago) link

i just don't believe Skeletor uses Money Supermarket.

― koogs, Sunday, 30 April 2017 14:35 (six years ago) link

*vomit*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zX2VA2V0XcA

― Punnet of the Grapes (Tom D.), Sunday, 7 May 2017 17:34 (six years ago) link

You are
Watching
Foodie videos
When you
Could be
SavingwithGroupOn
No!

― how's life, Friday, 19 May 2017 16:31 (six years ago) link

there are some really bad ones for Twin Peaks. i saw one that was somebody googling "What is Twin Peaks?".

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 19 May 2017 16:59 (six years ago) link

Another NatWest. Jeezus sodding Christ… John and his fecking jacket and his fecking wallet…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAo-h37dwaw

'Comments are disabled for this video'. I wonder why?

― Bloody Snail, Sunday, 28 May 2017 08:44 (six years ago) link

Advert Man is back! Cruelly though they keep us waiting for his appearance until halfway through.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xCB_bYguYc

― Punnet of the Grapes (Tom D.), Sunday, 28 May 2017 09:14 (six years ago) link

i don't really like Kipling's "If", tho its adoption by every dick in the world doesn't feel totally like Kipling's fault, and jesus christ no poet deserves the badly scanning fuckery of that Dove Realness advert

― The Remoans of the May (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 28 May 2017 09:52 (six years ago) link

hope natwest also sends the secret code to disable the baddies and pull jackie back into the cash machine

― kinder, Sunday, 28 May 2017 21:22 (six years ago) link

three weeks pass...

why the fuck do they advertise Freeview?

― pray for BoJo (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 18 June 2017 18:55 (six years ago) link

that fucking voice on the Vodafone giraffamingo advert

that fucking voice on the IKEA cooking together advert and the Lurpak advert

adverts are full of cunts atm

― pray for BoJo (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 22 June 2017 06:41 (six years ago) link

that fucking voice on the Vodafone giraffamingo advert

isn't it john goodman ?

and yeah, i dont get the point in advertising freeview

― mark e, Thursday, 22 June 2017 08:14 (six years ago) link

it might be Goodman, it's the same register as one of the payday loan companies' ads, Easy or something? this bro-ish, sub-The Dude matey-ness that infuriates precisely because of its deployment in selling bullshit I think

― pray for BoJo (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 22 June 2017 08:18 (six years ago) link

hateful renault couple knocking their badly dubbed divorcey boots in their fucking holiday home makes me want armed revolution

― sktsh, Thursday, 22 June 2017 11:59 (six years ago) link

hateful renault couple knocking their badly dubbed divorcey boots in their fucking holiday home makes me want armed revolution

saw this for first time last night.
yeah, its definitely one of the worst adverts ever.

― mark e, Thursday, 22 June 2017 13:01 (six years ago) link

Spandau/Speedcore advert for Virgin trains. Corbyn should just say that nationalisation will stop these adverts and he's guaranteed a landslide.

― Dan Worsley, Thursday, 22 June 2017 15:44 (six years ago) link

Feel like this should maybe be on an alt-right thread of some kind but couldn't think of which one. Rubicon's marketing team has decided to go in at a very strange angle... apparently their fruit juices came about because... Mr Water is a cuck?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWeVm4WT8HA

― emil.y, Friday, 23 June 2017 23:01 (six years ago) link

I'm really upset that nobody else cares about the cucking of Mr Water. ;_;

― emil.y, Sunday, 25 June 2017 00:28 (six years ago) link

It's pretty fucking creepy

― -_- (jim in vancouver), Sunday, 25 June 2017 02:51 (six years ago) link

fucked up

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Sunday, 25 June 2017 15:44 (six years ago) link

I'm really upset that nobody else cares about the cucking of Mr Water. ;_;

― emil.y, Sunday, June 25, 2017 1:28 AM (seventeen hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

alt-right were already on the case nearly a year ago tbf: http://metro.co.uk/2016/08/30/an-innocent-ad-for-fruit-water-has-become-a-symbol-of-hate-for-the-far-right-6099966/

― soref, Sunday, 25 June 2017 17:54 (six years ago) link

― soref, Sunday, 25 June 2017 17:54 (six years ago) link

Huh, I only saw the ad on TV a couple of days ago. It really is a very strange advert, I was imagining it was pro-alt-right and their obsession with cucks, rather than being "feminist propaganda" in favour of being adulterous.

― emil.y, Sunday, 25 June 2017 17:58 (six years ago) link

https://www.facebook.com/readytomango/videos/vb.460375727398168/973129209456148/?type=2&theater

not that worked; anyway it's a video of a this:

Think you’ve got the fruitiest chat?
Join Mr. Mango for a LIVE chat and drop your flirtiest lines for a chance to WIN a case of Rubicon Spring.

― soref, Sunday, 25 June 2017 17:59 (six years ago) link

not a "worst" advert but this one really fucking weirded me out, not least given i think it's the onion knight narrating:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgASxPh-xqU

i mean i get the value of water safety but it just seems a bizarre level of intensity. also the image at the end looks like all the people are dead.

― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Sunday, 25 June 2017 18:00 (six years ago) link

"onion knight" was baffling me until i googled

― pray for BoJo (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 25 June 2017 18:07 (six years ago) link

haha i sometimes find myself saying "onion knight" in his accent over and over.

― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Sunday, 25 June 2017 18:47 (six years ago) link

Onion Knight does the voiceover for a butter advert on telly too atm

― Well bissogled trotters (Michael B), Sunday, 25 June 2017 19:38 (six years ago) link

Barclays have got a fucking cheek trying to advise people on anti-fraud measures given their role in the LIBOR scandal. But then there has been lots of po-faced quasi-contrition from the high street banks lately.

― André Ryu (Neil S), Monday, 3 July 2017 18:20 (six years ago) link

was talking to a friend yesterday and we both really hate that kid in the AA advert

― more polls about food and reactionary art (Noodle Vague), Monday, 3 July 2017 18:22 (six years ago) link

OK,you mentioned it..

Because back then, our Alice was like that, damn good and beyond 'cute' with it, but this ad doesn't work because you can see the CGI type manipulation and faking.

Yeah, bugs me a bit. I wouldn't go the share on YouTube way, little Alice would have loved it but present day Al does thank me for not sharing on 'You've been framed' etc..

― Mark G, Monday, 3 July 2017 21:08 (six years ago) link

drivethru boy, have you never seen a fake punk before you fucking mook?

― i predict a griot (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 16 July 2017 20:53 (six years ago) link

not on TV but just baffling

Lannister, Stark, Targaryen which ever house you represent please don't pay the iron price, carry a vessel of water. #StayHydrated pic.twitter.com/sYLpI9fnKo
— London Overground (@LDNOverground) July 17, 2017

― André Ryu (Neil S), Monday, 17 July 2017 15:17 (six years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Seriously considering closing my Nationwide account

― Colonel Poo, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 13:22 (six years ago) link

what's the matter, don't you like twee poetry?

― André Ryu (Neil S), Tuesday, 1 August 2017 13:34 (six years ago) link

it's painful because I still feel like they're ethically superior to a bank but god those adverts

― put your hands on the car and get ready to die (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 1 August 2017 13:42 (six years ago) link

maybe as members we should be allowed to vote to stop doing them

― put your hands on the car and get ready to die (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 1 August 2017 13:56 (six years ago) link

Picket the shareholders meeting.

― weird echo of the falsies (Tom D.), Tuesday, 1 August 2017 13:57 (six years ago) link

altho for me they've been eclipsed by Hayley Cropper trying to pretend that Morrison's are my family

― put your hands on the car and get ready to die (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 1 August 2017 13:57 (six years ago) link

was Howard in the halifax adverts? he pops up as some kind of meta presence in those insurance commercials.

which reminds me, in those insurance commercials the bloke is called 'captain obvious' but he seems to have lost that part of his persona and is now just some kind of figurehead.

― koogs, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 15:02 (six years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XghJuH6GSCo

― Neanderthal, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 15:06 (six years ago) link

the one with the guy who says a poem about how he bought a load of junk off Amazon... Is that also Nationwide? Can we just have a moratorium on cheek-eh Northern blokes trying to be profound in adverts..

― Shat Parp (dog latin), Tuesday, 1 August 2017 15:15 (six years ago) link

re: Captain Obvious, it's not insurance, it's Hotels Booking dot com, or some such.

― Mark G, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 15:17 (six years ago) link

yeah he's the hotel guy.

the Old Spice commercials are fairly amusing but textbook example of "trying too hard"

― Neanderthal, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 15:18 (six years ago) link

BOOKING DOT COM

BOOKING DOT YEAH

whoever came up with that slogan needs to be fed slowly into a woodchipper imo

― the shape of a hot willie lumpkin (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 1 August 2017 15:18 (six years ago) link

Whereas "Admiral", etc.

― Mark G, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 15:18 (six years ago) link

> yeah he's the hotel guy.

that was money well spent on those adverts.

― koogs, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 15:37 (six years ago) link

That is the advert I had just witnessed before posting ITT. At least it made me get off my arse and back to work I suppose. Working from home tends to prolong lunch breaks.

― Colonel Poo, Tuesday, 1 August 2017 15:37 (six years ago) link

Is this what it's come to?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJzlzoW5yAE

― how's life, Tuesday, 8 August 2017 12:36 (six years ago) link

whoever did this needs to die

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mrcmm_diiU4

― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Friday, 11 August 2017 18:36 (six years ago) link

i can't find the latest one that's running in the uk

― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Friday, 11 August 2017 18:38 (six years ago) link

apparently these are a spreading plague

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LeBvy4VFStQ

― Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Friday, 11 August 2017 18:40 (six years ago) link

I could have gone my whole life without hearing the damn Frog Chorus again, so cheers whatever company is currently using it in a UK ad.

― Eallach mhór an duine leisg (dowd), Friday, 11 August 2017 19:00 (six years ago) link

it's the trailer for the new season of Great British Bake Off

― put your hands on the car and get ready to die (Noodle Vague), Friday, 11 August 2017 20:15 (six years ago) link

Ah, that's it! ta.

― Eallach mhór an duine leisg (dowd), Friday, 11 August 2017 20:23 (six years ago) link

tbh when i first saw it it just made me crave cake, which was annoying

― put your hands on the car and get ready to die (Noodle Vague), Friday, 11 August 2017 20:24 (six years ago) link

Seriously considering closing my Nationwide account

Took me a minute to realize this was a UK reference. Here in America, Nationwide is an insurance company with horrible ads featuring country singer Brad Paisley.

― grawlix (unperson), Friday, 11 August 2017 21:36 (six years ago) link

Here it's a building society, which I think is roughly equivalent to a credit union? so supposedly more ethical than a bank. Their ad campaign for the last few months (maybe longer?) has been a series of just fucking awful poems read by smug bastards and it just won't go away.

― Colonel Poo, Friday, 11 August 2017 21:47 (six years ago) link

Those US Nationwide ads seem like there is a producer, off-camera, holding the singer's kid at gunpoint (or maybe just a big bag of cash). "Keep trying. We will stay here until you make me believe that Nationwide is on my side."

― DJI, Friday, 11 August 2017 22:41 (six years ago) link

Oreo one is deeply horrible

― i believe that (s)he is sincere (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 12 August 2017 02:25 (six years ago) link

Name of the next sponsored space shuttle, "Oreo One"

― Mark G, Saturday, 12 August 2017 06:38 (six years ago) link

is it wrong to feel bad for the rapping maths teacher?

― put your hands on the car and get ready to die (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 19 August 2017 10:50 (six years ago) link

Because he's terrible?

― The Man Who Saw The Midwife (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Saturday, 19 August 2017 18:47 (six years ago) link

"They call it the remainder, that's the number that remains" and I'm like "he must've thought they were shooting the part that would be behind the voiceover."

― The Man Who Saw The Midwife (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Saturday, 19 August 2017 18:48 (six years ago) link

yep

― Neves Say Neves Again (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 19 August 2017 23:02 (six years ago) link

dear god that McCain's advert

― a hulking and impenetrable dump (Noodle Vague), Monday, 28 August 2017 20:16 (six years ago) link

the 'you only have two years to claim your ppi' advert (with arnie's head on an RC tank) is worse than most of the ppi adverts themselves. i'll be glad when it's all over.

― koogs, Saturday, 9 September 2017 12:39 (six years ago) link

Two weeks

― Mark G, Saturday, 9 September 2017 14:11 (six years ago) link

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/010/853/tumblr_lqx85siK031qdezf9o1_500.jpg

― Neanderthal, Saturday, 9 September 2017 14:21 (six years ago) link

I keep seeing this Amazon commercial on Youtube(like literally it's the only ad I see now on every other video) with a couple and their baby, the baby's scared of their large dog but likes a stuffed lion toy, they buy a fake lion ruff to put on the dog the baby loves the dog hooray. And it has this terrible soft-sung song starting with a tremulous "I wiiiish I could ask you... how was your day?"

― Wichita prepares for totality (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Tuesday, 12 September 2017 10:10 (six years ago) link

dear god that McCain's advert

Saw billboard at the Southbank just saying "here's to the stay at home mums". Perfect level of not-offensive-in-theory-but.

― Daniel_Rf, Tuesday, 12 September 2017 10:16 (six years ago) link

(xp) Oh God, it's hideous.

― Wewlay Bewlay (Tom D.), Tuesday, 12 September 2017 10:20 (six years ago) link

The latest Shreddies ad.

Same bloke, split screen horizontal. Top=he had shreddies, bottom=he doesn't. Standard stuff, bottom bloke cycles into river, throws football badly and gets pursued by bikers, etc. Last frame set, top=he brings flowers to his wife, bottom=he goes home scruffy. Only, topwife=slim, bottomwife=fatwoman.

So, how does he manage to get a different wife? Or is it that by eating shreddies makes him have a slim wife in the first place? hmm?

― Mark G, Tuesday, 12 September 2017 12:45 (six years ago) link

hi Mark G - I just viewed the advert and the bottom one isn't his wife

― conrad, Tuesday, 12 September 2017 13:19 (six years ago) link

looks like a cleaning or dinner lady for the bin he's found himself in
https://adsoftheworld.com/media/film/shreddies_shreddie_or_not

― nxd, Tuesday, 12 September 2017 13:25 (six years ago) link

Amazon commercial on Youtube(

The dog never looks happy! Where's my emotional payoff?

― Eallach mhór an duine leisg (dowd), Tuesday, 12 September 2017 13:46 (six years ago) link

alexa, make the living room bluuuuuuueeeeeeeee

― koogs, Saturday, 16 September 2017 16:45 (six years ago) link

I really don't want to see American adverts on UK TV, especially if this is what they're like...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHoTD0cC0cE

― The Doug Walters of Crime (Tom D.), Friday, 29 September 2017 11:01 (six years ago) link

In case of confusion this is running on UK TV, and I have no idea what it's about.

― The Doug Walters of Crime (Tom D.), Friday, 29 September 2017 11:03 (six years ago) link

I hate this ad as well. It says something about making the world conform to people's cutesy notions, or something. Like, rather than putting the work into seriously socializing their baby with their dog, these idiots turn the dog into a giant cuddly toy and think that's job done.
And, as with all of these things, I imagine the people in a factory in Sri Lanka making these things and thinking, well, this is fantastic. I'm working seventy hours a week and barely keeping my family fed making you a fucking lion costume to put on your dog. Capitalism!
I am a joyless person, though.

― trishyb, Friday, 29 September 2017 11:24 (six years ago) link

Can't believe how bad this ad for a Scottish jobs site is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9JEc8yAiNw

There are several variations, absolutely identical except for the guy starting to type different words.

― Eyeball Kicks, Tuesday, 3 October 2017 13:19 (six years ago) link

somewhere in there there's a good and relatively funny concept but it's been convoluted and complicated way too much for it to work. Very cringey

― Shat Parp (dog latin), Tuesday, 3 October 2017 13:44 (six years ago) link

these new Progressive commercials with Flo the insurance lady and her bumbling coworker seem completely pointless. just go the GEICO route and commission your own sitcom already.

― frogbs, Tuesday, 3 October 2017 13:47 (six years ago) link

In case of confusion this is running on UK TV, and I have no idea what it's about.
― The Doug Walters of Crime (Tom D.), Friday, September 29, 2017 12:03 PM (four days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

It's an HR management interface. They use it at my company and you can check your payslips and holiday etc.

― Shat Parp (dog latin), Tuesday, 3 October 2017 13:52 (six years ago) link

This commercial is some full-on bullshit

https://youtu.be/vVZi4tMLkrA

― Marcus Hiles Remains Steadfast About Planting Trees.jpg (DJP), Tuesday, 3 October 2017 15:55 (six years ago) link

there is one where a car of yuppies is driving down the road obliviously cuccooned in their Smart Car and almost run into somebody. this person is another yuppie, who walks up to the car, the camera panning over to two black people sitting to the side saying "Oh this is about to get good" some popcorn.gif hype talk and we are supposed to think he is going to be upset about nearly killing him. no. instead he walks up to the driver and asks them about the car, what kind of features does it have, what is the cool electronic shit it can do. nobody mentions the accident, everyone is in a daze about how amazing this technology is. the subtext is literally death and injury is acceptable because we got it so good with our talking cars. it is sickening.

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, 3 October 2017 16:18 (six years ago) link

by the way the car stopped itself in this commercial. this guy literally was so dazed by consumerism he was about to commit vehicular homicide and the AI gives more of a fuck about human life.

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, 3 October 2017 16:20 (six years ago) link

this is way more deeply cynical and post human than any "post apocalyptic" movie mashup.

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, 3 October 2017 16:21 (six years ago) link

that workday ad managed to cast a guy who exists at the exact midpoint between thomas middleditch and tj miller and place him in a setting that recalls the site of a SILICON VALLEY subplot

― maura, Tuesday, 3 October 2017 16:35 (six years ago) link

Good grief @ all this

― Never changed username before (cardamon), Tuesday, 3 October 2017 23:39 (six years ago) link

This advert isn't particularly terrible but do men not eat chocolate?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIFjJvWDj9o

― Tom's Tits Experiment (Tom D.), Wednesday, 11 October 2017 08:48 (six years ago) link

Possibly fake Australian voiceover guy on Samsung advert, I will find you and I will kill you.

Guy who says "extraordinary powers" a lot in washing powder advert, I hope you roast in hell

― pulled pork state of mind (Noodle Vague), Friday, 13 October 2017 17:11 (six years ago) link

wondering who that fucking awful singer was on the sad doggo advert, turns out there's another cult indie hero who I can't abide

― pulled pork state of mind (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 15 October 2017 18:33 (six years ago) link

The advertising industry, disgusting savages.

http://www.campaignlive.co.uk/article/pick-week-audis-clowns-outstanding-ad-car-brand/1446517.

― Terry Micawber (Tom D.), Friday, 20 October 2017 09:13 (six years ago) link

i quite like that one ? (sorry)

― Shat Parp (dog latin), Friday, 20 October 2017 09:44 (six years ago) link

maybe cos i'm a very nervous driver and that's exactly how i feel about other drivers when i'm on the road

― Shat Parp (dog latin), Friday, 20 October 2017 09:45 (six years ago) link

I just see lots of clowns, that is obviously unacceptable.

― Terry Micawber (Tom D.), Friday, 20 October 2017 10:16 (six years ago) link

This fucking BDO ad

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YO6TnSbiKEE

Wispy Tech Jesus' "Yes! It is!" and the woman's smug "we aren't!" and the fact that everyone at this company apparently answers questions incompletely before immediately walking away...

― The Fortnightly Intruder (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Thursday, 26 October 2017 10:23 (six years ago) link

Bad scripting, appalling acting. Evidently I don't know and I don't know BDO

― Shat Parp (dog latin), Thursday, 26 October 2017 13:36 (six years ago) link

I am 100% ignorant and will dwell in blissful holy not-knowingness

― The Fortnightly Intruder (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Thursday, 26 October 2017 19:53 (six years ago) link

There is something very wrong with the ad I saw this morning, to do with promoting British Army Veterans a for the purposes of employment. The principle of it is fine, but ..

It has Joanna Lumley, Matt Barber.....

― Mark G, Friday, 27 October 2017 10:41 (six years ago) link

The antibiotics one. Unless there is a black market for antibiotics I don't know about, if you've got antibiotics then your doctor prescribed them to you, so you are following your doctor's advice? How about tell doctors to stop overprescribing antibiotics not admonishing patients for taking them?!

― Colonel Poo, Saturday, 28 October 2017 14:00 (six years ago) link

There's a long-standing story that mean old patients badger poor, feeble-willed GPs into prescribing antibiotics against their better judgement

― pulled pork state of mind (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 28 October 2017 14:18 (six years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ni3jN_DH20
This is actually pretty good. The first clown deliberately looks like a cross between Ronald McDonald and Pennywise from IT. Not that BK don't have their own creepy AF mascot of course.

― Zings Can Only Get Better (snoball), Saturday, 28 October 2017 15:33 (six years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EB1Jbajy6Yw

:-(

― Le Bateau Ivre, Monday, 30 October 2017 18:56 (six years ago) link

Lost
stuffed
panda
with
voice
like
Thom
fucking
Yorke
fuck
off

― The Fortnightly Intruder (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Sunday, 5 November 2017 10:44 (six years ago) link

That Xmas PAddingtonBear one.

It does sound a lot like "fuck you little bear" right at the end..

― Mark G, Friday, 10 November 2017 17:14 (six years ago) link

must have took a real leap of the imagination to cast Martin Freeman as a mansplaining twat

― the intentional phallusy (Noodle Vague), Friday, 10 November 2017 18:15 (six years ago) link

He's a bit more likable in the third one, probably because of all the people hating on the first two.

Have been home for two hours and still haven't seen the John Lewis commercial.

― koogs, Friday, 10 November 2017 20:47 (six years ago) link

feel like he's worse in the new one tbh

― the intentional phallusy (Noodle Vague), Friday, 10 November 2017 21:36 (six years ago) link

I really hate this advert with this homely fucking heartwarming Yorkshire twat talking about growing fucking peas - he says he's been growing them for 30 years, so why does he sound like he's 80 years old? You're an actor in a sound studio in London, you've never been near a *pea field in you life. (*if that's where you grow fucking peas).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qT39e68G48

― Terry Micawber (Tom D.), Friday, 17 November 2017 23:09 (six years ago) link

I think you grow peas in a pod. The hard part is sorting them so all the alike ones to grow together.

― Leaghaidh am brón an t-anam bochd (dowd), Saturday, 18 November 2017 05:42 (six years ago) link

the Audi/Send In The Clowns ad is excellent. The part where the different shaped objects fall out of the back of the lorry is quite beautiful.

― Susan Stranglehands (jed_), Tuesday, 21 November 2017 22:56 (six years ago) link

"i feel very proud of what i bring to the screen" it's fucking cartoon robots for children you muppet

― who says no to mentals? (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 26 November 2017 16:08 (six years ago) link

I watch too much daytime tv, these are all benevolent in comparison

― i know kore-eda (or something), Sunday, 26 November 2017 18:11 (six years ago) link

"When you die it will cost *your loved ones* 7 grand to get rid of you etc"

― i know kore-eda (or something), Sunday, 26 November 2017 18:12 (six years ago) link

oh man i watch way too much daytime ITV, don't even start me on the terrorizing of the semi-senile

― who says no to mentals? (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 26 November 2017 19:23 (six years ago) link

the fucking London Mint must be the biggest bunch of cunts on God's green earth

― who says no to mentals? (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 26 November 2017 19:24 (six years ago) link

I think I would really enjoy hoofing the Top Cashback man in the testes

― Big Pred aka (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 26 November 2017 23:11 (six years ago) link

> cartoon robots for children

Pacific Rim was a pg-13 so not really children.

She used her tablet to access Google maps. Big whoop. The "I can't do that on a Mac" thing that they always cram into those adverts is interesting because it's usually just the software that's the difference, not a physical limitation.

Go compare adverts have seemingly stopped using the word fantastic in every sentence, which is something.

The skeletor adverts have got weirder.

― koogs, Monday, 27 November 2017 03:28 (six years ago) link

OK, there's another advert with a clown in it, this time for Specsavers, though it's fairly amusing.

― Action of Boyle Man Prompts Visitor to Stay (Tom D.), Wednesday, 29 November 2017 09:03 (six years ago) link

Apple advertisement with bug girl playing with her iPad in the yard, neighbor asks "oh are you on your COMPUTER?" and she says "what's a COMPUTER??" and then looks away, completely uninterested in the answer

― frogbs, Wednesday, 29 November 2017 12:25 (six years ago) link

What's a computer?!
(Eat y'self fitter!)

― The Fortnightly Intruder (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Wednesday, 29 November 2017 14:04 (six years ago) link

This new Lavazza commercial that changes the lyrics to "My Girl" to be entirely about the awesomeness of coffee is actually kind of hilarious. It seems very Euro, too, like it was probably hammered into everyone's skull over there in 2015 and finally they just decided to run it here.

― The Fortnightly Intruder (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Saturday, 2 December 2017 06:57 (six years ago) link

Uh it's not the version that actually tries to be funny that's on youtube.

― The Fortnightly Intruder (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Saturday, 2 December 2017 06:59 (six years ago) link

Oh god I've just seen the Lavazza ad, assumed it wd be a US thing only

― Illegal Ethiopian Dance Music (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 2 December 2017 19:36 (six years ago) link

so sick of the phoney sex voices used on adverts for "luxury" Christmas food

― best display name of 2017 (Noodle Vague), Friday, 8 December 2017 18:34 (six years ago) link

not an ad per se, but the trailer for 'i'm a celebrity...' where dec makes a decision and a woman screams and ant says that that was a good decision is complaint-worthy.

― koogs, Sunday, 10 December 2017 22:28 (six years ago) link

the lavazza ad is terrible but the pimlico plumbers murdering something to the tune of 'merry christmas everyone' is a crime against humanity.

― koogs, Sunday, 10 December 2017 22:29 (six years ago) link

The UK version of the 'V.I.Poo' advert has a caption at the end that reads 'perfect for Secret Santas'. Now a few years ago a colleague got a spray bottle of breath freshener in a Secret Santa, but a bottle of pre-dump toilet spray?!

― Zings Can Only Get Better (snoball), Tuesday, 12 December 2017 20:58 (six years ago) link

that sounds like a terrible Secret Santa gift. who wants to open a gift called "V.I.Poo" in front of their beloved co-workers

― frogbs, Tuesday, 12 December 2017 21:04 (six years ago) link

Me? J/k

― Colonel Poo, Tuesday, 12 December 2017 21:28 (six years ago) link

Sainsbury's Christmas ad people I will find you and I will kill you

― all this youthless booty (Noodle Vague), Friday, 15 December 2017 22:55 (six years ago) link

Paco Rabanne must die

― Colonel Poo, Saturday, 23 December 2017 17:20 (six years ago) link

Is there any chance advertisers will ever get tired of that 'watching a young couple grow together, have children and then watch as their children have children in turn' or 'mother/daughter (or father/son) through the decades' shite they're so fond of?

― Whiney Houston (Tom D.), Saturday, 23 December 2017 18:15 (six years ago) link

My cockles are warm enough, thank you.

― Whiney Houston (Tom D.), Saturday, 23 December 2017 18:16 (six years ago) link

Its Sisters, this year I have noticed.

― Mark G, Saturday, 23 December 2017 21:59 (six years ago) link

"whats a computer" ad totally redeemed now

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVN5C3x4ZZo

― frogbs, Friday, 29 December 2017 15:21 (six years ago) link

these fucking shell ads on instagram, facebook, youtube, tumblr, fucking fuck them!!!

― clouds, Saturday, 30 December 2017 16:48 (six years ago) link

There's a cutesy mcdonald's ad in the uk on the theme of uh-oh these stupid people are saying there's all sorts in chicken mcnuggets let's prove them wrong jingly jangly twinkly cluck

― Never changed username before (cardamon), Saturday, 30 December 2017 21:17 (six years ago) link

And it's one of the hundreds in that sort of studied twee post-wes anderson style that's the visual equivalent of the innocent smoothies aesthetic

― i know kore-eda (or something), Saturday, 30 December 2017 21:56 (six years ago) link

That's double-dumb, that McDonald's one, because if there were bits, beaks or whatever, they would be shut down.

― Mark G, Saturday, 30 December 2017 22:43 (six years ago) link

OK this Xeljanz XR ad where the lady buys a record player and plays records for her young son and dances with him and they drop the needle at the beginning of the runout groove really triggers some weird rage inside of me.

― The Fortnightly Intruder (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Sunday, 31 December 2017 10:23 (six years ago) link

pro tip for the Quorn marketing people: every time I hear Alan Davies's smug lisp I'm gonna eat the cutest animal I can find

― you shoulda killfiled me last year (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 4 January 2018 18:13 (six years ago) link

Incredibly the latest Nationwide advert with the sisters surpasses all the others so far in eye-gouging ear-stabbing horror

― i know kore-eda (or something), Monday, 8 January 2018 20:54 (six years ago) link

indeed. I thought nothing could be worse than the Sainsburys xmas adverts but they have trumped it

― Algerian Goalkeeper (Odysseus), Monday, 8 January 2018 20:55 (six years ago) link

Nationwide is a menace all the way around. they've got a new one with Tori Kelly doing a "soulful" take on the jingle. who the fuck wants to hear that 84 times during a football game? it was bad enough when it was Brad Paisley.

a good commercial, though, is Chris Paul, James Harden, Trevor Ariza and Oscar from The Office singing Backstreet Boys.

― evol j, Monday, 8 January 2018 20:58 (six years ago) link

Nationwide is really the worst - "our ads are a national treasure" is pretty much the worst possible vantage point to approach a commercial from

I guess Progressive do this too but there's at least some wit and self-deprecation there. Nationwide stumbled into one commercial people sorta liked and now are gonna rehash it for the next 3+ years

― frogbs, Monday, 8 January 2018 21:36 (six years ago) link

This is the UK Nationwide advert.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l93nKa--Rio

― Algerian Goalkeeper (Odysseus), Monday, 8 January 2018 21:46 (six years ago) link

pro tip: unless you want your day ruined do not click on that link

― i know kore-eda (or something), Monday, 8 January 2018 22:22 (six years ago) link

oh shit there's more than one of them?

― not raving but droning (Noodle Vague), Monday, 8 January 2018 22:22 (six years ago) link

yes

― Algerian Goalkeeper (Odysseus), Monday, 8 January 2018 22:23 (six years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3zD7z2vKZ8

― Algerian Goalkeeper (Odysseus), Monday, 8 January 2018 22:24 (six years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoqTVyk-8Zk

― Algerian Goalkeeper (Odysseus), Monday, 8 January 2018 22:24 (six years ago) link

I really hope there aren't any more to come

― Algerian Goalkeeper (Odysseus), Monday, 8 January 2018 22:27 (six years ago) link

I'm amazed at myself but I don't hate these. I don't like them - obviously, jesus - but I was expecting so much worse

― ogmor, Monday, 8 January 2018 22:47 (six years ago) link

loathe the guy (who i'm told is on the show silicon valley) in the verizon ads

― mookieproof, Monday, 8 January 2018 22:56 (six years ago) link

i haven't seen it but I hope it's jian yang

― kinder, Monday, 8 January 2018 22:57 (six years ago) link

he's still miles ahead of the Chevy dude who throws eggs at people

― frogbs, Monday, 8 January 2018 23:00 (six years ago) link

Those ads are terrible but Middleditch is great on SV

― The Fortnightly Intruder (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Tuesday, 9 January 2018 01:12 (six years ago) link

Gents this is the adverts thread, get ye to the commercials thread

― i know kore-eda (or something), Tuesday, 9 January 2018 10:10 (six years ago) link

did anyone ever post this? maybe the most disturbing thing i've seen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6aIPUusP5A

― maura, Tuesday, 9 January 2018 14:35 (six years ago) link

American version of this (UK) thread: https:ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?boardid=40&threadid=55431

― koogs, Tuesday, 9 January 2018 21:00 (six years ago) link

rats

www: worst commercials on television

non-www: worst commercials on television

― koogs, Tuesday, 9 January 2018 21:01 (six years ago) link

They didn't listen to us re Schofield.

― koogs, Saturday, 13 January 2018 15:41 (six years ago) link

Captain Obvious doesn't even say obvious things any more he just invites a sniper's bullet

― coombespair gaz prices (Noodle Vague), Monday, 15 January 2018 11:01 (six years ago) link

Is it wrong to want to cut the woman who voices the Barclays ads?

― hell is auteur people (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 20 January 2018 16:15 (six years ago) link

Oh god and the Nat West woman

― hell is auteur people (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 20 January 2018 16:38 (six years ago) link

I think I hate chaeirt

― palace of swears reversed (Noodle Vague), Friday, 26 January 2018 15:20 (six years ago) link

I think I hate charity lotteries the most of all, the ugly, money-grubbing, sanctimonious, self-defeating cunts

― palace of swears reversed (Noodle Vague), Friday, 26 January 2018 15:21 (six years ago) link

Those fucks have ruined Let 'em In for me

― i know kore-eda (or something), Friday, 26 January 2018 15:35 (six years ago) link

Worse than Charity lotteries are:

Charities which soothe you into putting a "bequeathe" in your will. Ooh, carry on the good work so your descendents will benefit etc.

Nothing about how the charity will slap a lawyer straight onto preventing your descendents from selling your house/property (or deciding amongst themselves as to how to divvy it up, etc) and selling it themselves to make sure their 10% is gotten as soon as possible.

It hasn't happened to me, but it has happened to people I know.

Seriously, pass it on. If you/they want to donate to charity from a will, specify! £5,000 lets say. Do Not Mention A Percentage!!!

― Mark G, Friday, 26 January 2018 15:41 (six years ago) link

didn't know that. that's sick.

― palace of swears reversed (Noodle Vague), Friday, 26 January 2018 15:42 (six years ago) link

Staple it to yr mother's fridge!

I'm not saying all the charities do that. I could tell you which it was, but then mmm dangerous add disclaimers etc. Also, that they were the only one.

― Mark G, Friday, 26 January 2018 15:56 (six years ago) link

which child is more noxious: sassy girl in the Robinson's ad or professional northerner being menaced by a giant Martin Keown. my vote's on the latter, but the lass is trying hard.

― drugs don't kill people, poppers do (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 4 February 2018 18:52 (six years ago) link

This is very belated but is there anybody more obnoxious than the man off the gladstone brooks ads? I have to mute the telly every time he comes on

― i know kore-eda (or something), Sunday, 4 February 2018 18:58 (six years ago) link

is that the earnest "have you done it yet?" guy, cos he's a massive cunt

― drugs don't kill people, poppers do (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 4 February 2018 18:59 (six years ago) link

yeah it is, i shout threats about shivs at the tv when he's on

― drugs don't kill people, poppers do (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 4 February 2018 19:00 (six years ago) link

"What's going on?" is his opening salvo, I always look up at the telly and then hate myself for not muting as soon as the last race finished

― i know kore-eda (or something), Sunday, 4 February 2018 19:03 (six years ago) link

I'm Michael and I spend my days off watching attheraces

― i know kore-eda (or something), Sunday, 4 February 2018 19:04 (six years ago) link

i hope his guilty conscience keeps him awake at night

― drugs don't kill people, poppers do (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 4 February 2018 19:05 (six years ago) link

We've come a long long way together

― kinder, Thursday, 15 February 2018 18:10 (six years ago) link

Are they saying we have to praise their bank? Because

― "oh no my cheds" man had dark to black packet (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 15 February 2018 19:20 (six years ago) link

I'm not sure if the Oak Furnitureland lads are the actual biggest twats on god's earth but they're in the running

― Big Ched aka The Cheesedriver (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 17 February 2018 12:30 (six years ago) link

"So-called disability" says hypocritical frozen chip-selling tosser of a marketer who clearly isn't familiar with the social model

― Big Ched aka The Cheesedriver (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 17 February 2018 14:32 (six years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Jesus Christ Alan Davies die you lispy cunt die die die

― Under the influence of the Ranters (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 4 March 2018 11:29 (six years ago) link

Tbf, the material's not great for those quorn adverts.

― koogs, Sunday, 4 March 2018 12:24 (six years ago) link

Tbf NV OTM

― Buff Jeckley (Tom D.), Sunday, 4 March 2018 12:30 (six years ago) link

He's only very slightly better in Damned, mind.

― koogs, Sunday, 4 March 2018 13:39 (six years ago) link

pic.twitter.com/zfAVxSAiac
— Skeletor (@GrumpySkeletor) March 4, 2018

― mark s, Sunday, 4 March 2018 19:22 (six years ago) link

i hate that sun bingo advert

― Algerian Goalkeeper (Odysseus), Sunday, 4 March 2018 19:26 (six years ago) link

all travel company ads. begone.

― kinder, Sunday, 4 March 2018 20:35 (six years ago) link

You're not "Dan", you're Marcus Brigstocke, unfunny dick

― Under the influence of the Ranters (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 4 March 2018 22:05 (six years ago) link

I'll just put the Marc Jacobs' "Dream baby dream" ad here, only because its far too short.

― Mark G, Sunday, 4 March 2018 23:21 (six years ago) link

https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/entertainment/celebrity/they-need-die-nationwide-call-12150366

― Algerian Goalkeeper (Odysseus), Friday, 9 March 2018 14:29 (six years ago) link

i find it really hard to believe those two are related tbh

― I’m 16 and a member of UKIP’s youth wing, young independence (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 9 March 2018 14:31 (six years ago) link

i'd probably stop short of wishing death upong them tho

― I’m 16 and a member of UKIP’s youth wing, young independence (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 9 March 2018 14:31 (six years ago) link

Their ditties about family life are like Marmite - you either love them or hate them.

suggest one of these options is untrue

― Finnegans woke (Noodle Vague), Friday, 9 March 2018 14:59 (six years ago) link

flo and joan are bad but still better than the previous nationwide ad campaign where people recited their horrible poems

― soref, Friday, 9 March 2018 15:05 (six years ago) link

on a sliding scale of horror you're right, gotta admit i find them more ignorable than fully noxious

― Finnegans woke (Noodle Vague), Friday, 9 March 2018 15:06 (six years ago) link

oh jesus those poetry ads were like a glimpse into hell

flo and joan are basically an nth-generation photocopy of garfunkel and oates, who are (as with all musical comedians) already bad

― I’m 16 and a member of UKIP’s youth wing, young independence (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 9 March 2018 15:13 (six years ago) link

i find it really hard to believe those two are related tbh

^^^^^

― Buff Jeckley (Tom D.), Friday, 9 March 2018 15:19 (six years ago) link

"Can the sisters from the Nationwide adverts please die a horrible death," raged one annoyed viewer.

I don't remember writing this tbh.

― Buff Jeckley (Tom D.), Friday, 9 March 2018 15:22 (six years ago) link

ambushed by a whole sequence of WOWCHERs yesterday (while watching australian masterchef 2016, so i still come out the winner)

― mark s, Friday, 9 March 2018 15:27 (six years ago) link

yeah those wowcher adverts are really bad

― Algerian Goalkeeper (Odysseus), Friday, 9 March 2018 15:28 (six years ago) link

lol i quite like the sisters -- in a not-as-bad-as-ppl-are-saying kind of way -- but then i will also fiercely stan for pam ayres, fite me

(the poems were unbearable though)

― mark s, Friday, 9 March 2018 15:31 (six years ago) link

itt: mark s fiercely stans for pam ayres while acknowledging her poems were unbearable

― I’m 16 and a member of UKIP’s youth wing, young independence (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 9 March 2018 15:33 (six years ago) link

Shpock it.

― Buff Jeckley (Tom D.), Friday, 9 March 2018 15:35 (six years ago) link

I know I'm old now but I don't think I know what Wowcher and Shpock are for.

― Buff Jeckley (Tom D.), Friday, 9 March 2018 15:37 (six years ago) link

pam's poems are good not bad, the poetry ads = vice versa

shpock it is worse than wowchers

― mark s, Friday, 9 March 2018 15:38 (six years ago) link

wowchers = getting stuff
shpock it = selling it again

― mark s, Friday, 9 March 2018 15:39 (six years ago) link

Vinted = sloaney mum version of Shpock apparently

― Finnegans woke (Noodle Vague), Friday, 9 March 2018 15:48 (six years ago) link

bcz i (correctly) watch a fvckton of marple and midsomer, i see a lot of ads for (i) the alleviation of various conditions, (ii) stairlifts, (iii) cruises

some of them are american ads overdubbed but in all of them the acting is weirdly wooden and terrible

― mark s, Friday, 9 March 2018 16:05 (six years ago) link

Ditto life assurance and funeral cover ads.

― Buff Jeckley (Tom D.), Friday, 9 March 2018 16:08 (six years ago) link

itt: mark s demonstrates his misunderstanding of the word 'correctly'

― I’m 16 and a member of UKIP’s youth wing, young independence (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 9 March 2018 16:10 (six years ago) link

Here's one...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlSBNtkFiTo

― Buff Jeckley (Tom D.), Friday, 9 March 2018 16:17 (six years ago) link

i like the stairlift ad with Leonard from Butterflies

― Algerian Goalkeeper (Odysseus), Friday, 9 March 2018 16:24 (six years ago) link

At least the words to the schpock advert aren't still "schpock schpock schpock schpock-schpock-schpock".

― Bimlo Horsewagon became Wheelbarrow Horseflesh (aldo), Saturday, 10 March 2018 00:33 (six years ago) link

They are!

― Finnegans woke (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 10 March 2018 00:50 (six years ago) link

Somewhere along the way it morphed into 'shpock it' repeated ad nauseum

― koogs, Saturday, 10 March 2018 02:41 (six years ago) link

Looks like money supermarket got fed up of paying actors to be he-man / skeletor.

― koogs, Sunday, 11 March 2018 22:35 (six years ago) link

Lurpak wanker is back again

― Finnegans woke (Noodle Vague), Monday, 12 March 2018 11:12 (six years ago) link

fuck is this "dilly dilly" bullshit?

― as the crows around me grows (Noodle Vague), Friday, 16 March 2018 09:16 (six years ago) link

Who the fuck drinks Bud Lite anyway

― Colonel Poo, Friday, 16 March 2018 09:26 (six years ago) link

according to that advert, idiots

― as the crows around me grows (Noodle Vague), Friday, 16 March 2018 09:33 (six years ago) link

organic honey mead douche is kinda funny tho

― as the crows around me grows (Noodle Vague), Friday, 16 March 2018 09:34 (six years ago) link

I'm in a pub and some absolute cunts are repeatedly shouting dilly dilly. Reconsidering my position on the death penalty

― Colonel Poo, Friday, 16 March 2018 23:07 (six years ago) link

i'd like to thank the Quorn Marketing Board for reading this thread and dubbing out Alan Davies's voice from your advert. the advert and the product are still shit, but i appreciate the gesture.

― Cambridge Metallica (Noodle Vague), Friday, 23 March 2018 18:41 (six years ago) link

am i dense for not understanding the 'posh dip' ad? I think I reflexively shut down and stop listening but Mr kinder asked me how it made sense and I didn't know.

― kinder, Sunday, 25 March 2018 18:07 (six years ago) link

I assume "posh dip" is a nod at healthy eating, in a bourgeois style, so the point is let them eat let ketchup because the moral purity of Quorn will cover you. But that's the annoyingness of the advert

― bad left terf nut (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 25 March 2018 18:36 (six years ago) link

that's what i thought! but had remembered it as 'healthy dip' when I tried to explain it, not 'posh', which would make sense. But I watched it again (I deserve everything I get) and saw it said posh and posh =/= healthy so I was baffled once again.

I'm reading this to Mr k right now and he's just shaking his head muttering 'it's so, so, shit'. Sorry, Quorn Marketing Board.

― kinder, Sunday, 25 March 2018 23:07 (six years ago) link

Posh = code innit?

― bad left terf nut (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 25 March 2018 23:44 (six years ago) link

is this the thread where I express my bottomless dislike for the inescapable avoiders for [LARGE CLIPART OF A ROOSTER, TEEHEE] "Blockers"

― aloha darkness my old friend (katherine), Monday, 26 March 2018 12:45 (six years ago) link

speaking of posh, i meant to post this aldi ad when it was inescapable a couple of months ago - feels like there's a dissertation's worth of class signifiers in here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVon2kIWT3Y

― we gather in social groups and disorient ourselves (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 26 March 2018 12:54 (six years ago) link

Katherine, I was going to direct you to the US thread here because I had no idea what you're talking about but apparently it's a film so we'll probably get it here eventually

― Colonel Poo, Monday, 26 March 2018 13:09 (six years ago) link

It's already here and I was gonna make a snidey Facebook post about it this weekend. Katherine otm, another milestone on the road to the collapse of western civilization

― bad left terf nut (Noodle Vague), Monday, 26 March 2018 13:12 (six years ago) link

bg the latest aldi add with the baroque caricature of smug posh woman in the lift is another level

― bad left terf nut (Noodle Vague), Monday, 26 March 2018 13:13 (six years ago) link

huh, hadn't seen the lift one before but just looked it up on youtube

forget a dissertation, there's probably a whole book to be written on aldi using class consciousness in ads to bolster their bottom line

― we gather in social groups and disorient ourselves (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 26 March 2018 13:22 (six years ago) link

hey advertising guys, maybe knock it off with the 70s funk on every other fucking ad?

also why the fuck does cooking = big band swing?

― bad left terf nut (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 31 March 2018 22:41 (six years ago) link

Hey Brooke the artist from the film industry why do you laugh after everything you say even when it's not funny?

― bad left terf nut (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 1 April 2018 00:08 (six years ago) link

You just dont expect to hear raining blood by slayer on an advert

― Algerian Goalkeeper (Odysseus), Monday, 2 April 2018 12:58 (six years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFEESVQQGN8

(didn't notice the 'stores nationwide' thing until just now so the whole thing just seemed like an advert for going outside)

(NB dog isn't really talking)

― koogs, Friday, 13 April 2018 15:49 (six years ago) link

not as bad as the singing toddler

― you're my luger not my rifle (Noodle Vague), Friday, 13 April 2018 15:52 (six years ago) link

Diet Coke woman: "I bet I can make the most obnoxious ad of the year"

Diet Coke man: "HOLD MY DRINK"

― you're my luger not my rifle (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 14 April 2018 22:58 (six years ago) link

Fake Drinking

― Mark G, Sunday, 15 April 2018 10:12 (six years ago) link

do all the alexas in the world respond to all those alexa adverts?

― koogs, Thursday, 19 April 2018 10:37 (six years ago) link

Enough with the fucking poetry. It's spreading now, not just Nationwide, now we have Giff Gaff to contend with.

― Colonel Poo, Thursday, 19 April 2018 12:10 (six years ago) link

^^ can't handle the authentic voice of the streets

― you're my luger not my rifle (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 19 April 2018 12:16 (six years ago) link

The single-shot film is beautiful in its simplicity. A young woman stood in front of a parked car in a nondescript setting delivers a thought-provoking monologue exploring the advantages of ‘small’ and challenging the conventional idea that ‘big’ is always better. The camera slowly zooms towards the simply-dressed protagonist as Siouxsie & The Banshees’ 1978 classic ‘Hong Kong Garden’ gradually becomes more audible.

been compulsively reading ad industry sites the last few weeks, they really are a whole higher level

― you're my luger not my rifle (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 19 April 2018 12:20 (six years ago) link

That advert is particularly dire, poetrywise.

― (Henry) Green container bin with face (Tom D.), Thursday, 19 April 2018 12:30 (six years ago) link

... written by some berk at Giff Gaff and read by an actress, some googling tells me. Are fake poets worse than real ones though?

― (Henry) Green container bin with face (Tom D.), Thursday, 19 April 2018 12:33 (six years ago) link

they're all terrible

― you're my luger not my rifle (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 19 April 2018 12:34 (six years ago) link

Hi charity wankers we know it's not nice when people are cruel to animals you can knock it off with the weepy saddo voiceover

― la vache qui pleure (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 21 April 2018 13:13 (six years ago) link

I'd not noticed Hong Kong garden

― Mark G, Saturday, 21 April 2018 14:44 (six years ago) link

nor me tbh maybe somebody pointed out to them that the lyrics are somewhat "contentious"

― la vache qui pleure (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 21 April 2018 15:13 (six years ago) link

Not sure if you can see this as my friend filmed it off the TV but this Farm Foods ad with Hasselhoff holding court at the dinner table with a bunch of 20-something Geordies is something else. I keep watching it hoping to glean some sort of sense and well...

https://www.facebook.com/kathadore.may/videos/10160381827565381/

― brand new universal harvester (dog latin), Monday, 23 April 2018 11:55 (six years ago) link

three weeks pass...

new high fibre yoghurt advert voiced by... SuperHans.

― koogs, Saturday, 19 May 2018 14:50 (five years ago) link

"Tell you what that high fibre yoghurt is really moreish."

― triggercut, Saturday, 19 May 2018 16:19 (five years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RZsVYPlhAU

― Heavy Messages (jed_), Saturday, 19 May 2018 16:32 (five years ago) link

poor Mo. i blame Alan Davis taking away the lucrative Quorn voiceover work.

― koogs, Saturday, 19 May 2018 18:23 (five years ago) link

the football themed adverts have already started. will be sick to death of them a month before england go out.

― koogs, Thursday, 24 May 2018 18:05 (five years ago) link

Hey Tampax, we get it, I don't think those shorts need to be that tiny

― Karius whisper (Noodle Vague), Friday, 1 June 2018 13:54 (five years ago) link

So glad that the season of multinationals pretending, badly, to be into football is here

― Karius whisper (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 2 June 2018 09:51 (five years ago) link

Watching footballers, or any sportsperson, having to do even the tiniest bit of acting is always excruciating.

― Poisoned by Johan's pea soup. (Tom D.), Saturday, 2 June 2018 10:15 (five years ago) link

I heard some of the worlds top scientists have arranged, Fantastic Voyage style, a micro sub shrunk to almost molecule size, to get to the centre of Ryan Giggs brain - to work out how the thick cunt even manages to breath!

― calzino, Saturday, 2 June 2018 10:29 (five years ago) link

Wiltshire Farms frozen meals for olds are so depressingly 1950s school dinner they make me want to give up food.

Postcode Lottery: maybe try not employing utter twats.

Peace, keep up the good work, creatives.

― Karius whisper (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 2 June 2018 11:54 (five years ago) link

I see fewer adverts these days than I ever have, I think. But they horrify me much more.

― Leaghaidh am brón an t-anam bochd (dowd), Saturday, 2 June 2018 12:26 (five years ago) link

Yeah I'm probably watching more TV than I have in years and most adverts are like acid on my soul

― Karius whisper (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 2 June 2018 12:42 (five years ago) link

everything about those Knoppers ads screams "made in Germany" but his lips look like they're speaking English

― VAR VAR Rasputin (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 13 June 2018 15:34 (five years ago) link

and that’s why we’re leaving the eu

― CARL MARKS PRINCIPAL INVESTING AND ADVISORY SERVICES (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 13 June 2018 15:39 (five years ago) link

paging Dktr Oetker

― koogs, Wednesday, 13 June 2018 16:29 (five years ago) link

i like his pizzas tho

― VAR VAR Rasputin (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 13 June 2018 17:11 (five years ago) link

they don't taste like pizza but they do taste nice.

― Heavy Messages (jed_), Wednesday, 13 June 2018 18:09 (five years ago) link

^ neu advertising slogan for Herr Doktor Oetker.

― We can be herpes (Tom D.), Wednesday, 13 June 2018 18:11 (five years ago) link

I've just watched a dog singing so maybe the Knoppers ad was in German originally

― VAR VAR Rasputin (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 13 June 2018 18:47 (five years ago) link

lol Tom

― Heavy Messages (jed_), Wednesday, 13 June 2018 19:03 (five years ago) link

Awesome there's a guy who looks a bit like Richard Herring dancing round the house to "Come Up and See Me" because he's got bone-on pills

― Kostic negotiator (Noodle Vague), Friday, 22 June 2018 20:16 (five years ago) link

That dishwasher advert with people singing "This Little Light of Mine" is quite kill worthy

― Kostic negotiator (Noodle Vague), Friday, 22 June 2018 20:18 (five years ago) link

And it's a horrible Top of the Pops album type cover of "Come Up and See Me" too.

― womp womp that sucker (Tom D.), Friday, 22 June 2018 20:18 (five years ago) link

I wasn't paying much attention to the music I was too busy being gobsmacked that they were celebrating erections thru the medium of interpretive dance

― Kostic negotiator (Noodle Vague), Friday, 22 June 2018 20:20 (five years ago) link

Are you sure it isn’t Richard herring

― U. K. Le Garage (wins), Friday, 22 June 2018 20:28 (five years ago) link

Does he have erectile dysfunction y/n?

― Kostic negotiator (Noodle Vague), Friday, 22 June 2018 20:32 (five years ago) link

If he has I'm sure he'd have done a routine about it by now.

― womp womp that sucker (Tom D.), Friday, 22 June 2018 20:33 (five years ago) link

P sure he’s done dozens

Hold up imma ask

― U. K. Le Garage (wins), Friday, 22 June 2018 20:34 (five years ago) link

Entire show it appears.

http://benjaminhendy.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/TalkingCock.jpg

― Dan Worsley, Friday, 22 June 2018 20:36 (five years ago) link

dear Andrex if you don't pack it in with "how clean do you feel?" I *will* find your copy writer and I *will* mummify them in bog roll

― Kostic negotiator (Noodle Vague), Friday, 22 June 2018 21:22 (five years ago) link

I'll join you

― kinder, Friday, 22 June 2018 21:25 (five years ago) link

but they are kids!

― koogs, Friday, 22 June 2018 21:32 (five years ago) link

Nothing worse than child actors reading cutesey what-kids-say lines thought up by 35 year old Oxbridge cokeheads.

― womp womp that sucker (Tom D.), Friday, 22 June 2018 21:50 (five years ago) link

it's a battle of repulsion between

1. child actors reading cutesey what-kids-say lines thought up by 35 year old Oxbridge cokeheads.
2. child actors with adult voices (some car advert i can't find from a few years ago that had 5 year old boys talking in northern gammon type voices about miles per gallon or whatever)
3. adult actors with kids voices e.g. Haribo.

I think 3 has to be the worst.

― Britain's Sexiest Cow (jed_), Friday, 22 June 2018 22:23 (five years ago) link

I remember that car advert, think it might've been for one of those Vauxhall 7 seaters whatever they're called

― Kostic negotiator (Noodle Vague), Friday, 22 June 2018 22:25 (five years ago) link

LOL one of the actors in the Haribo advert is a nodding acquaintance in a pub I frequent.

― womp womp that sucker (Tom D.), Friday, 22 June 2018 22:27 (five years ago) link

That is not his real voice in the advert.

― womp womp that sucker (Tom D.), Friday, 22 June 2018 22:31 (five years ago) link

how do you know if you've only nodded to him?

― Britain's Sexiest Cow (jed_), Friday, 22 June 2018 22:33 (five years ago) link

I have spoken to him several times. Also he is a bit of loud actorly type.

― womp womp that sucker (Tom D.), Friday, 22 June 2018 22:37 (five years ago) link

ok then, i believe you...

― Britain's Sexiest Cow (jed_), Friday, 22 June 2018 22:38 (five years ago) link

(example of 2 that springs to mind is the insurance ads with kids voiced by fry and Laurie. Choccy topping?)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rXTLBX-7foU

― koogs, Saturday, 23 June 2018 00:58 (five years ago) link

so apparently this horrible grating guff is Daniel Johnston, idk what the fuck is wrong with people

― Swedes and Löw (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 26 June 2018 00:18 (five years ago) link

tbf you probably wouldn't like the original either, but it's a horrible grating advertising company bollocks cover of a Daniel Johnston song

― Colonel Poo, Tuesday, 26 June 2018 07:07 (five years ago) link

OK I owe him half an apology. Really never want to hear "Blue Monday" ever again either.

― Swedes and Löw (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 26 June 2018 08:02 (five years ago) link

Nothing worse than child actors reading cutesey what-kids-say lines thought up by 35 year old Oxbridge cokeheads.

One thing worse is that the lines are not like anything a child might say, these people don't know any children.

― womp womp that sucker (Tom D.), Tuesday, 26 June 2018 08:13 (five years ago) link

It's the fake laffing of the child carer or parent or whatever that is worse.

― Mark G, Tuesday, 26 June 2018 08:32 (five years ago) link

omg yes "i can't believe you've asked this outrageous and mildly distasteful question that i read in the script last night"

― Swedes and Löw (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 26 June 2018 08:34 (five years ago) link

Them feebs that don't have time in their lives to pick up a prescription are laying it on a bit thick

― Kroos on first (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 28 June 2018 09:28 (five years ago) link

it just makes sense

― koogs, Thursday, 28 June 2018 10:16 (five years ago) link

"i'm quadraplegic and live in the middle of a tall forest guarded by a witch so no way have i got time to pick up my NHS prescription"

― Kroos on first (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 28 June 2018 10:18 (five years ago) link

Lottery advert where an actor talks about his 3 imaginary friends in the vaguest possible terms is maddeningly lazy

― Neymar, Mr Nice Guy (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 4 July 2018 23:54 (five years ago) link

I've just seen an Apple advert that does use a Daniel Johnson song, so if it was that one you were objecting to NV that's not a cover, but there is another advert that's been on for ages with a horrible cover of True Love Will Find You In The End that I thought you were talking about.

― Colonel Poo, Thursday, 5 July 2018 06:54 (five years ago) link

J2O : Crappy CGI orange Lama vs BBQ.

truly woeful.

― mark e, Thursday, 5 July 2018 07:25 (five years ago) link

Yeah Col I looked up the dog advert and was surprised it was Johnson cos I didn't think he'd sound like George Ezra.

The Apple song annoys partly cos of the cognitive mismatch of the actors and the song, but the song itself - stupid non sequitur lyric, faux old timey production that sounds grating rather than old timey, might as well throw a ukelele in there...I'm sure it's not the sum total of his work but it's too tweecore for me, especially in the context of trying to sell stuff.

― Neymar, Mr Nice Guy (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 5 July 2018 08:10 (five years ago) link

"Really never want to hear "Blue Monday" ever again either."

I thought this but then I realised that I only thought I didn't and that I do.

I like this cover of the Daniel Johnson song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBV7m_VeCLY

― Britain's Sexiest Cow (jed_), Thursday, 5 July 2018 11:29 (five years ago) link

Oh I wondered, ta.

― Mark G, Thursday, 5 July 2018 19:36 (five years ago) link

I don't even know where to start with the concept of a fucking bank, any fucking bank, caring about mental health...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fj3SVKJQyf0

― Alan Alba (Tom D.), Monday, 9 July 2018 09:00 (five years ago) link

i was having *exactly* that same angry thought last night but i was ready for bed and couldn't be bothered to

i mean

their industry, their business practices...they're a *factor* in mental illness for fuck sake

fuck them to oblivion, kill kill

― he's one of our pwn (Noodle Vague), Monday, 9 July 2018 09:03 (five years ago) link

Money problems do not contribute to mental health issues, it's scientific fact.

― Alan Alba (Tom D.), Monday, 9 July 2018 09:07 (five years ago) link

Anorexia.

Wow.

― Britain's Sexiest Cow (jed_), Monday, 9 July 2018 09:25 (five years ago) link

The Bank it Scotland once sent a collection letter to the psychiatric hospital I was in after a suicide attempt. I wasn’t worried about money, but it was a student account, and I stopped being a student, so they wanted me to pay my overdraft.

― Leaghaidh am brón an t-anam bochd (dowd), Monday, 9 July 2018 11:26 (five years ago) link

a biscuit is not an adequate replacement for breakfast, you eating-disorder-exploiting monsters

― more like Toss, Ow amirite? (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 12 July 2018 22:34 (five years ago) link

what about a Tunnocks Teacake?

― Britain's Sexiest Cow (jed_), Thursday, 12 July 2018 22:37 (five years ago) link

Wouldn't say no.

― Alan Alba (Tom D.), Thursday, 12 July 2018 22:44 (five years ago) link

I don't get marshmallow so no but at least it's got chocolate on it

― more like Toss, Ow amirite? (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 12 July 2018 23:03 (five years ago) link

"at least it's got chocolate on it"

New board description?

Oh, OK...

― Mark G, Friday, 13 July 2018 09:09 (five years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Cadbury's Twirl boldly chases the stoner market

― the Joao looked at Jonny (Noodle Vague), Friday, 27 July 2018 22:27 (five years ago) link

Sun Bingo -Are You Gonna Bingo (Hilarious UK Ad)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnUeGjjzlC0

― Father Ted in Forkhandles (Tom D.), Friday, 27 July 2018 22:37 (five years ago) link

the good old wacky Sun, the people's tabloid.

― calzino, Friday, 27 July 2018 22:51 (five years ago) link

still running pretend friend lotto guy, i will find him and kill him i swear

― the Joao looked at Jonny (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 29 July 2018 23:26 (five years ago) link

imagine taking a job in advertising, i can't grasp that level of moral bankruptcy

― the Joao looked at Jonny (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 29 July 2018 23:28 (five years ago) link

I imagine a job where your dialogue goes,
"hey remember that are you gonna bang song from 10 years back that was playing in the SU when you got smashed and accidentally puked in Sarah's mouth as you tried to kiss her?"
"yeah?"
"we should probably pitch that as an ad cause bingo sounds a bit like bang doe."
"yeah."
and it doesn't seem that much worse than anything else.

― tsrobodo, Monday, 30 July 2018 01:47 (five years ago) link

McDonald's punk chicken wraps is a fantasy hellscape of sub-literate romance

― the Joao looked at Jonny (Noodle Vague), Monday, 30 July 2018 06:34 (five years ago) link

no its fresh and cool....like a mcdonalds wrap

― dele alli my bookmarks (darraghmac), Monday, 30 July 2018 07:30 (five years ago) link

good counterpoint

― the Joao looked at Jonny (Noodle Vague), Monday, 30 July 2018 07:35 (five years ago) link

let's go and jump around a bowling alley with a hosepipe

― the Joao looked at Jonny (Noodle Vague), Monday, 30 July 2018 07:35 (five years ago) link

waaay ahead of you

― dele alli my bookmarks (darraghmac), Monday, 30 July 2018 07:45 (five years ago) link

ooh ooh what if maybe

― . (Michael B), Monday, 30 July 2018 08:13 (five years ago) link

Cadbury's Twirl boldly chases the stoner market

― the Joao looked at Jonny (Noodle Vague), Friday, July 27, 2018 10:27 PM (three days ago)

i thought it was meant to be set in the 80s when i first watched it

― . (Michael B), Monday, 30 July 2018 08:14 (five years ago) link

All those adverts where different people speak sing the lines of some popular song. Drown them all

― i know kore-eda (or something), Monday, 30 July 2018 09:58 (five years ago) link

v much yes

― the Joao looked at Jonny (Noodle Vague), Monday, 30 July 2018 10:00 (five years ago) link

In 'ordinary people' voices. Unbearable.

― Father Ted in Forkhandles (Tom D.), Monday, 30 July 2018 10:03 (five years ago) link

Bernard has an ordinary voice?

― Mark G, Monday, 30 July 2018 10:45 (five years ago) link

Who is Bernard?

― Father Ted in Forkhandles (Tom D.), Monday, 30 July 2018 10:58 (five years ago) link

ordinary would be over-selling it

― the Joao looked at Jonny (Noodle Vague), Monday, 30 July 2018 11:01 (five years ago) link

this is some kind of terrible, carabao energy drink, new from thailand apparently.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORVP9JsKRAE

― koogs, Thursday, 2 August 2018 18:27 (five years ago) link

The launch was accompanied by a high profile TV advertising campaign featuring the company founder, rock star Yuenyong Opakul, also known as Aed Carabao.[3] This campaign was investigated by the Office of the Consumer Protection Board for being too violent.[4] but went on to win a gold and a silver medal at Media & Marketing magazine's Asian Brand Marketing Effectiveness Awards in 2003.[5] A second ad, featuring clips of late actor Denholm Elliott, digitally altered so he was drinking Carabao from a trough, was less successful.

― Andrew Farrell, Friday, 3 August 2018 08:45 (five years ago) link

Morrison's wonky vegetable man, your voice is excruciating and I hope something bad happens to you

― the Joao looked at Jonny (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 9 August 2018 20:17 (five years ago) link

win-win orgasms sounds like an edgy noughties New York indie band

― the Joao looked at Jonny (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 12 August 2018 23:28 (five years ago) link

"I'm in France because i told lidl that their wine tasted like mouthwash, ha ha"

this is a dangerous precedent to set...

― koogs, Monday, 13 August 2018 19:35 (five years ago) link

I don't reckon their Bahama llama steaks really come from there..

― Mark G, Monday, 13 August 2018 22:57 (five years ago) link

“Still winning”.

― Dan Worsley, Thursday, 16 August 2018 08:18 (five years ago) link

Is that Flo from those singing sisters?

― koogs, Thursday, 16 August 2018 21:50 (five years ago) link

not sure why you thought giving a saucy wink to your thrush infection was a good look but what do I know?

― Noodle Vague, Friday, 17 August 2018 18:34 (five years ago) link

depends what youve winked spose

― flaneur brayin (darraghmac), Friday, 17 August 2018 18:43 (five years ago) link

the Trivento bumper adverts on Quest etc.

an example:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kU5Lz3kv7UA

they are all this smug and cover things like parachuting, rugby scrums, bungee jumping, mountain climbing.

do women not drink melbec?

― koogs, Friday, 24 August 2018 16:10 (five years ago) link

slightly Ed Harris looking Confused.com guy: get tae fuck.

― Noodle Vague, Thursday, 30 August 2018 18:02 (five years ago) link

Fuck me we linkify dot coms?

― Noodle Vague, Thursday, 30 August 2018 18:02 (five years ago) link

kudos to Gillette on convincing me to emasculate myself

― fuck giving a bear beer (Noodle Vague), Monday, 3 September 2018 23:17 (five years ago) link

Those bank adverts that have mutated from using new animations of old cartoon characters (Flintstones, top cat etc) into splicing themselves into old films (Wizard of Oz, ghost busters) really do need to stop.

The over-50 life insurance ads have gone from having Michael Parkinson in them to having unknown people in them who talk about having seen the advert with Parkie in it. Which is a way of cutting costs, I guess. Like the Iggy Pop / puppet version of Iggy Pop thing that the insurance ads did.

― koogs, Wednesday, 5 September 2018 01:49 (five years ago) link

Yeah, but they had to pay Iggy as well as the puppet makers

― Mark G, Wednesday, 5 September 2018 06:46 (five years ago) link

Anyway, John Lewis Waitrose Bohemian Rhapsody ad.

Once is OK, but you know you will see it 20 times at least.

― Mark G, Wednesday, 5 September 2018 06:47 (five years ago) link

Is it Christmas already?

I reckon voiceover prices are a lot cheaper than appearance prices. Puppet probably easier to schedule / wrangle too.

Philip Schofield seems to be on a reverse trajectory with his ads, getting more screen presence as time goes on.

― koogs, Wednesday, 5 September 2018 08:57 (five years ago) link

it's not a bad ad (there's not a thread for ads that aren't bad) but there is one now that uses Fruity Flutes (Farmhouse Kitchen) by Reg Wale which is rather nice to hear once a day or so!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7M8ljDl9B4

― Heavy Messages (jed_), Monday, 17 September 2018 22:43 (five years ago) link

I think it's a baking advert though.

― Heavy Messages (jed_), Monday, 17 September 2018 23:03 (five years ago) link

Biscuit company I think, or there used to be an old ad that used it. I also love that tune.

― every day there's a whining choad (Noodle Vague), Monday, 17 September 2018 23:23 (five years ago) link

i think i knew that about you :)

.xls

― Heavy Messages (jed_), Monday, 17 September 2018 23:26 (five years ago) link

someone should do a version of it where it goes full deconstructed skronk about 4 minutes in.

― Heavy Messages (jed_), Monday, 17 September 2018 23:28 (five years ago) link

two weeks pass...

I don't know where this trend for making added protein versions of food products started but pack it in you wankers

― Leon Carrotsky (Noodle Vague), Friday, 5 October 2018 22:38 (five years ago) link

Just pondering...

Would they really open a nursing home called "St Peters Gate"?

― Mark G, Friday, 5 October 2018 23:05 (five years ago) link

I understand why the David Brent song is in the Freeview advert but I'm equally sure Gervais is thinking it's because he wrote a brilliant song so... <Gervais face>

― Bimlo Horsewagon became Wheelbarrow Horseflesh (aldo), Friday, 5 October 2018 23:07 (five years ago) link

voice cracking with emotion at Morrison's centrality to the circle of life

― Leon Carrotsky (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 7 October 2018 21:49 (five years ago) link

They couldn't get it for being infuriating, so they had to go down the 'misleading' route... but they got it, praise be, they got it! God bless the Advertising Standards Authority...

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/business/news/vodafone-advert-break-up-video-banned-martin-freeman-30-day-guarantee-a8577006.html

― Zach Same (Tom D.), Wednesday, 10 October 2018 16:16 (five years ago) link

Does the ASA have a death penalty?

― Leon Carrotsky (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 10 October 2018 17:15 (five years ago) link

Graham gets called upstairs. He gets half way up before being told not to bother. Then a baby does. Then Graham does again.

What is that about?

― koogs, Friday, 12 October 2018 22:34 (five years ago) link

softcore cleavage-fest for Mya cosmetic surgery just made me irl lol

― the Warnock of Clodhop Mountain (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 16 October 2018 23:14 (five years ago) link

still really fucking funny this morning

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svt6TuGbT6I

― the Warnock of Clodhop Mountain (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 17 October 2018 08:42 (five years ago) link

there's a few MYA adverts that exist - I only ever seem to catch them during the ad break in Countdown though. They're hilarious, I like to imagine a director trying to coax a horse to bounce harder to really convey the sense of augmentation

― boxedjoy, Wednesday, 17 October 2018 20:14 (five years ago) link

Everybody seems v happy

― the Warnock of Clodhop Mountain (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 17 October 2018 20:34 (five years ago) link

i don't remember hallowe'en adverts before, but a bunch of people are doing them this year (including one using the 'round the twist' theme tune)

― koogs, Wednesday, 24 October 2018 16:06 (five years ago) link

The screaming in that Asda advert really pushes my grumpy old man button

― the Warnock of Clodhop Mountain (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 24 October 2018 16:40 (five years ago) link

That’s the prostate, right?

― Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 24 October 2018 17:20 (five years ago) link

Lol probably

― the Warnock of Clodhop Mountain (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 24 October 2018 17:41 (five years ago) link

I did enjoy the revival of "Going Round the Twist" for the sainsburys adverts

― Mark G, Thursday, 25 October 2018 18:21 (five years ago) link

Hi British Gas, "we're with you" is almost, kind of, an actual real world colloquial phrase, but every time you try to shoehorn it into your ad copy it just sounds Martian, give it up you useless twats.

― the Warnock of Clodhop Mountain (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 27 October 2018 13:33 (five years ago) link

Move that skeletor is back on our screens in time for Halloween.

― koogs, Saturday, 27 October 2018 15:55 (five years ago) link

Move -> nice

Bloody autocorrect. Of those 10 words 4 were wrong.

(And 1 of those)

― koogs, Saturday, 27 October 2018 15:56 (five years ago) link

If you can do a proletarian accent and have no self-respect there's money to be made advertising online gambling

― the Warnock of Clodhop Mountain (Noodle Vague), Friday, 2 November 2018 17:17 (five years ago) link

This one plays like 5x during every single episode of Shark Tank and rubs me the wrong way on several levels:

https://www.ispot.tv/ad/dYOy/t-mobile-hats-off-featuring-bryce-harper

― Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Friday, 2 November 2018 17:29 (five years ago) link

Jesus that's some Starship Troopers shit

― the Warnock of Clodhop Mountain (Noodle Vague), Friday, 2 November 2018 17:31 (five years ago) link

I mean
1) Obviously there's the dumb veteran jingoistic part, but it's a fairly benign form and I'd excuse that alone
2) But it's being used to sell phone service
3) The commercial gives you the impression that it is going to have a narrative arc but then it doesn't
4) I don't think most veterans would actually get all that excited just because someone did a thank-you-for-your-service over the loudspeaker
5) They couldn't even be bothered to make it sound like the voice was actually coming over the loudspeaker!
6) The connection between this ballgame and the product is completely unclear (other than the fact that there's a deal for veterans and the ballgame also thanks veterans)
7) The vet's maudlin facial expression kills a small part of me each time I see it

― Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Friday, 2 November 2018 17:33 (five years ago) link

I have never given a shit about early 80s children's movie Ghostbusters but this building society advert is helping me to empathise with the GamerGaters that do

― Tsugumo Alanshearer (Noodle Vague), Friday, 9 November 2018 22:53 (five years ago) link

Wait until you see the Wizard of Oz version.

― koogs, Friday, 9 November 2018 23:34 (five years ago) link

martin whatsisface looks more like norman wisdom with every new advert. he's ice skating in the new one.

― koogs, Monday, 12 November 2018 19:17 (five years ago) link

I accept that I'm wrong and not getting it and being a failed ally but nothing makes you look more of a cretin than doing cosmetics adverts

― Danton Lok (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 17 November 2018 23:53 (five years ago) link

"I'm Tom" he says. he's half-naked in your daughter's bedroom but it's somehow ok because he has gum and a cheeky grin.

and not a tv advert, but every time that leaflet about a £400 reading light falls out of my weekend paper a bit of me dies inside.

― koogs, Monday, 19 November 2018 09:57 (five years ago) link

Haha otm about that light leaflet! And the name of the product is the Serious Light! More like the you can't be serious light.

― Eyeball Kicks, Monday, 19 November 2018 13:32 (five years ago) link

I've known this secret for a week or two
Aaaargh aaargh aaargh aargh aaargh kill die die

― Danton Lok (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 22 November 2018 00:45 (five years ago) link

Eva Green cut it out with the edgelord shit

― Bound 4 da Remoan (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 1 December 2018 17:59 (five years ago) link

real people talking about M&S food, fuck the lot of yiz

― Bound 4 da Remoan (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 1 December 2018 18:42 (five years ago) link

Chewing gum Tom looks like 'they're gonna taste great!' kid

― Never changed username before (cardamon), Sunday, 2 December 2018 01:34 (five years ago) link

nothing impresses prospective in-laws more than a box of Thornton's while you cosplay being a cross-channel ferry steward

― Bound 4 da Remoan (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 2 December 2018 13:47 (five years ago) link

nope I'm still not swayed to buy a Facebook camera and set it up in my home, A for effort though

― rip van wanko, Sunday, 2 December 2018 14:47 (five years ago) link

That peloton app, if the advert is anything to go by, must have a high rate of masturbators, and what interests me is the company deals with that

― Never changed username before (cardamon), Sunday, 2 December 2018 18:35 (five years ago) link

How*

― Never changed username before (cardamon), Sunday, 2 December 2018 18:56 (five years ago) link

Is it James Nesbitt doing the voice overs for BT like he's being held at gunpoint?

― I Accept the Word of Santa (Noodle Vague), Friday, 7 December 2018 20:48 (five years ago) link

three weeks pass...

that sandcastle bloke is going to give me nightmares.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBsNErt1OmQ

also, maxine peake, how exactly does a smart meter save me energy?

― koogs, Monday, 31 December 2018 13:00 (five years ago) link

oh man the smart meter propaganda machine, so transparent

― Driving Drone for Christmas (Noodle Vague), Monday, 31 December 2018 13:10 (five years ago) link

first time i saw that sand man i got M.R. James vibes

― Driving Drone for Christmas (Noodle Vague), Monday, 31 December 2018 13:11 (five years ago) link

If I really want to save energy, Maxine, the best option would be to keep my old dumb meter and link the fucker out with some 4mm twin and then viola! free energy.

― calzino, Monday, 31 December 2018 13:34 (five years ago) link

one of those smart meter adverts had The Jellies' "Jive Baby On A Saturday Night" on it!

― Acting Crazy (Instrumental) (jed_), Friday, 11 January 2019 00:09 (five years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1EAYEh_la8

― Acting Crazy (Instrumental) (jed_), Friday, 11 January 2019 00:09 (five years ago) link

I've gone hardcore militant against smart meters since this doorstepping prick informed me I'd be forced to pay for the install if I didn't opt for it now. I told him my meter was linked out, there was a mini cannabis factory under the stairs and fuck off and die cunt!

― calzino, Friday, 11 January 2019 00:29 (five years ago) link

smart meter propaganda seems to be based on two contradictory premises:

1. when using a conventional meter you are being charged in a way that is inaccurate, tending towards overcharging.

2. we, a company looking to make money from you, wants to spend money installing a meter that will charge you less out of a sense of fairness

― ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Friday, 11 January 2019 00:31 (five years ago) link

It's because now, the supply of energy is a competitive market. So, they would prefer you give *them* a reduced amount of money rather than log in to some other supplier.

― Mark G, Friday, 11 January 2019 11:16 (five years ago) link

> when using a conventional meter you are being charged in a way that is inaccurate

this is only because they read the meters once a year now, the legal minimum, rather than every 3 months like they used to.

they've just sent me a leaflet saying that they are changing my tarrif and i will be 34p better off every year. don't spend it all at once.

more worryingly, they have increased the standing charge and decreased the per-unit charge, which makes it harder for me to save money by decreasing usage, rendering the smart meter thing more ridiculous.

― koogs, Friday, 11 January 2019 12:16 (five years ago) link

anyway, tv adverts...

― koogs, Friday, 11 January 2019 12:17 (five years ago) link

Pretty fucked up the level of torture I daydream of inflicting on Greg from the Halifax.

― Berks & Cow (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 12 January 2019 09:14 (five years ago) link

It's because now, the supply of energy is a competitive market. So, they would prefer you give *them* a reduced amount of money rather than log in to some other supplier.

― Mark G, Friday, January 11, 2019 3:16 AM (yesterday)Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The same thing happens where I am despite there not being competition

― ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Saturday, 12 January 2019 09:45 (five years ago) link

Samuel Adams commercial that's been running on youtube.

Fisherwoman hauling up her catch or something:
"It's got huge flay-vah...once it hits ya lips, ya know? Hah hah hah!"

I can't find it anywhere online except randomly ahead of youtube videos.

― peace, man, Thursday, 24 January 2019 12:37 (five years ago) link

use ublock origin and you will soon forget that youtube even has ads

― Dan I., Tuesday, 29 January 2019 22:27 (five years ago) link

it's terrible in its own way but putting durex lube adverts in the middle of that Fantastic Beasts film on itv2 the other day probably caused a lot of awkward questions to be asked.

― koogs, Friday, 1 February 2019 11:06 (five years ago) link

use ublock origin and you will soon forget that youtube even has ads

this doesn’t work if you’re sending youtubes to your TV from your phone

― sans lep (sic), Friday, 1 February 2019 11:46 (five years ago) link

or just watching them on yr phone, I guess

― sans lep (sic), Friday, 1 February 2019 11:47 (five years ago) link

lubeblock

― Mark G, Friday, 1 February 2019 12:05 (five years ago) link

two weeks pass...

"No time to read? Yeah right you thick bastard"

― CDU next Tuesday (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 17 February 2019 10:11 (five years ago) link

renault kadjar virtual ambassador

― conrad, Sunday, 17 February 2019 10:42 (five years ago) link

fucking British Airways

― Colonel Poo, Sunday, 17 February 2019 12:31 (five years ago) link

three weeks pass...

In no particular order:

That Australian lizard on the weflip adverts.

The small girl channeling Tina Turner.

I didn't know oral b even MADE a toothpaste.

Anything containing the term "equity release"

― koogs, Saturday, 16 March 2019 19:01 (five years ago) link

OTM to the first 4. I instantaneously tune out of adverts when I hear terms like "equity release".

― Bielsa, Bub (Tom D.), Saturday, 16 March 2019 19:05 (five years ago) link

I didn't know oral b even MADE a toothpaste

It's more her giant spit/lisp which turns it into pToothpTaspTe.

― Elitist cheese photos (aldo), Saturday, 16 March 2019 19:08 (five years ago) link

"peely peely!"

― koogs, Thursday, 28 March 2019 21:23 (five years ago) link

"The world has gone crazy about food"

It's like the copy was written by a neural network

― Boles to the Wolds (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 7 April 2019 21:36 (five years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Really satisfying daydream about smashing the Plusnet bloke in the face with a cricket bat

― After Cease to Brexist (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 27 April 2019 13:31 (five years ago) link

You'd do us proud if you did. They're like the 118 adverts, they doggedly persist in making them, year after year, although absolutely no-one likes them or is interested in them or remembers anything about them. Their straplines are so dull the only reason you remember them at all is because you've fucking heard them a million times.

― Freddie Starr (Hitler in shorts) (Tom D.), Saturday, 27 April 2019 13:59 (five years ago) link

Hilarious sex voices on supermarket food adverts, please fuck off

― After Cease to Brexist (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 27 April 2019 16:38 (five years ago) link

they appear to have got rid of the original voice-over woman and are having the cast do it themselves in a slightly ironic way.

the epitome of the ads that go on forever that nobody likes = go compare

― koogs, Saturday, 27 April 2019 16:47 (five years ago) link

also, that terrible "Graham, love" advert appears to have come back.

― koogs, Saturday, 27 April 2019 16:47 (five years ago) link

the epitome of the ads that go on forever that nobody likes = go compare

The Go Compare ads differ from 118 and Plusnet in that they're intensely and viscerally annoying, people hate them, 118 and Plusnet aren't that interesting. Go Compare ads (tragically) have entered the national consciousness, the 118 and Plusnet ads are just there endlessly - particularly true of former, which feel like they've been running for decades without making any particular impression on anyone.

― Freddie Starr (Hitler in shorts) (Tom D.), Saturday, 27 April 2019 17:54 (five years ago) link

They often make the impression on me that everybody involved in the advertising industry is a cunt

― After Cease to Brexist (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 27 April 2019 17:57 (five years ago) link

That's too easy though.

― Freddie Starr (Hitler in shorts) (Tom D.), Saturday, 27 April 2019 17:58 (five years ago) link

how come the UK gets its own pronunciation of Breyers?

― After Cease to Brexist (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 27 April 2019 20:28 (five years ago) link

I'm irrationally angry about the Stiehl advert that only seems to be on ITV channels with numbers higher than 2 after them. There's a slowed down section of a chainsaw and, unless I'm very much mistaken, the blade is on the wrong way round.

― Elitist cheese photos (aldo), Sunday, 28 April 2019 19:31 (four years ago) link

those Harvey Keitel ones where he intimidates punters into buying insurances products falls into the "never-ending, much hated campaign" category

― Neil S, Monday, 29 April 2019 17:00 (four years ago) link

They're running out of steam now but I liked the earlier ones.

― Freddie Starr (Hitler in shorts) (Tom D.), Monday, 29 April 2019 17:03 (four years ago) link

is this real or has someone edited two separate ads together?

I'd like my followers to try and pinpoint the single most excruciatingly element of this 1987 Daily Mirror advert. There are a few things to choose from so it won't be easy. pic.twitter.com/OAXcsePAvQ
— Ed Stradling (@edstradling) May 2, 2019

― soref, Friday, 3 May 2019 08:10 (four years ago) link

Oh sweet Jesus, I've just seen the G-Tech advert with the bloke from Worcester rapping on it.

― Elitist cheese photos (aldo), Sunday, 5 May 2019 19:20 (four years ago) link

Why does the new Anchor advert use the theme from Desmond's?

― Elitist cheese photos (aldo), Monday, 6 May 2019 16:39 (four years ago) link

These people are determined that you pronounce their name to rhyme with 'kangaroos', even if you don't want to and even though they know no-one will.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKsFk7Yz-KY

― Ned Caligari (Tom D.), Saturday, 11 May 2019 10:33 (four years ago) link

three weeks pass...

an aside: the Dark Milk that's currently being advertised by jason donovan and kim wilde, has anyone seen any in actual shops?

― koogs, Saturday, 1 June 2019 20:46 (four years ago) link

I had some, it's an unremarkable halfway house between dairy milk and bournville, almost certainly appearing at one of those shops that sells end of line food cheap near you, soon

― specific goats my way (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 1 June 2019 21:15 (four years ago) link

yeah, the clue is in the name 8)

and that description makes me think of the supermarket own-brand dark chocolate that's like 35p for a large bar

― koogs, Saturday, 1 June 2019 21:23 (four years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Poor guy, must need the money.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keOaQm6RpBg

― Orpheus Knutt (Tom D.), Wednesday, 19 June 2019 07:23 (four years ago) link

three weeks pass...

"and 72% of us have the same lunch every single day"

get tae fuck you lying wanker

― jou're much too jung, girl (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 10 July 2019 22:21 (four years ago) link

72,000 he says, not 72%.

― koogs, Thursday, 11 July 2019 04:04 (four years ago) link

no. you're right, 72%. you're also right about that being a bag of shit.

― koogs, Thursday, 11 July 2019 08:22 (four years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Skoda landfill indie rock guys singing about how they "gotta be me"; mimsy f-ing McDonalds advert with that horrible Innocent Smoothie singing

― Captain ACAB (Neil S), Sunday, 4 August 2019 16:02 (four years ago) link

It isn't easy talking to your family about killing bankers

― pharma chameleon (Noodle Vague), Monday, 12 August 2019 09:28 (four years ago) link

it's sad those actors can't talk about money

― Captain ACAB (Neil S), Monday, 12 August 2019 09:35 (four years ago) link

What exactly are they supposed to be talking about?

"Mam can you lend us a tenner?"

"Nah fuck off I can't talk about money"

― pharma chameleon (Noodle Vague), Monday, 12 August 2019 09:39 (four years ago) link

McDonald's coffee adverts right now "we don't need to [some gimmick] to sell you our coffee" No, you have a captive audience for your fucking horrible coffee, nobody is choosing to go there for a coffee when other options exist.

― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Monday, 12 August 2019 09:40 (four years ago) link

I've thought about a separate thread for that whole world of "we hate trendy advertising language" adverts produced by, er, advertising agencies

― pharma chameleon (Noodle Vague), Monday, 12 August 2019 09:44 (four years ago) link

xxp "sorry about that time I embezzled the family's saving to spend on slot machines, booze and crack cocaine"

― Captain ACAB (Neil S), Monday, 12 August 2019 09:44 (four years ago) link

xp this should do nicely "croissant-munching, latte-sipping": instances of misconceived media-class self-loathing ITT

― Captain ACAB (Neil S), Monday, 12 August 2019 09:45 (four years ago) link

Yeah good shout

― pharma chameleon (Noodle Vague), Monday, 12 August 2019 09:47 (four years ago) link

> "we don't need to [some gimmick] to sell you our coffee"

and yet they trot through half a dozen during said ad, whilst telling us they wouldn't ever.

the coca cola tongue advert. who signed that off?

and i forget the advert but it tickles me how keen that one kid is on having a new driveway.

― koogs, Monday, 12 August 2019 10:36 (four years ago) link

"Good girl Phoebe"

Go Away!

― Mark G, Monday, 12 August 2019 11:10 (four years ago) link

I'm confused because obviously the RAF are dead woke now but they're still murderous cunts

― PMS change (Noodle Vague), Friday, 16 August 2019 18:13 (four years ago) link

> I didn't know oral b even MADE a toothpaste.

i saw this again yesterday and they've changed it. at least they've changed the audio - she still mouths the above but different words come out.

― koogs, Friday, 16 August 2019 19:29 (four years ago) link

Yeah ever time I see that cut I think of this thread

― PMS change (Noodle Vague), Friday, 16 August 2019 20:54 (four years ago) link

Oral B is Crest elsewhere. I think they made Crest into Oral B in the UK because Crest is not a very highly regarded brand here.

― Funky Isolations (jed_), Saturday, 17 August 2019 00:03 (four years ago) link

I haven't seen the ad in question but if a Crest ad was made outside of the UK then it makes sense that it might be overdubbed.

― Funky Isolations (jed_), Saturday, 17 August 2019 00:05 (four years ago) link

An Oral B ad, rather.

― Funky Isolations (jed_), Saturday, 17 August 2019 00:15 (four years ago) link

We're usually in tuned to ads where the audio has been redubbed from a different accented English, I didn't get any hint of that from the oral b ad.

I did see they added a "Hello, I'm a dentist, and I use this toothbrush too" addition.

― Mark G, Saturday, 17 August 2019 08:14 (four years ago) link

How are we only just talking about the oral b ads that turn up twice in every single ad break on UK telly in the past two years? I've seen these women more than my closest friends and family

― or something, Saturday, 17 August 2019 08:29 (four years ago) link

i mentioned it 5 months ago and brought it back up again yesterday because i'd noticed they'd messed around with it somehow and removed the offending line

― koogs, Saturday, 17 August 2019 09:19 (four years ago) link

oh right, carry on

― or something, Saturday, 17 August 2019 09:26 (four years ago) link

For some reason the dentists in (these?) toothpaste adverts often seem to be Irish, or have I imagined that?

― Boulez, vous couchez avec moi? (Tom D.), Saturday, 17 August 2019 10:03 (four years ago) link

oral b toothpaste is good, i haven't seen the ad my dentist told me to use it

― mark s, Saturday, 17 August 2019 10:11 (four years ago) link

they're all shills for Big Toothpaste

― PMS change (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 17 August 2019 10:20 (four years ago) link

the spookiest toothpaste related person is that woman with the unnaturally white teeth and white hair who i'm sure i saw on the bridge in one of the star trek reboot films.

― koogs, Saturday, 17 August 2019 11:05 (four years ago) link

stand-up comedy *and* financial advice? Nationwide, you are really spoiling us

― what's wrong with being centre-y? (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 18 August 2019 12:38 (four years ago) link

^ this. and they get worse with repetition.

― koogs, Tuesday, 27 August 2019 19:01 (four years ago) link

the paxman ad where he asks "why are politicians so ________ ?" is grinding my gears

bcz you and yr pals do yr job badly jeremy

― mark s, Monday, 2 September 2019 18:13 (four years ago) link

i guess it's a trailer more than an ad

― mark s, Monday, 2 September 2019 18:13 (four years ago) link

(actual thing is on ch5 tonight at 9)

― koogs, Monday, 2 September 2019 18:36 (four years ago) link

good that means i can watch law and order reruns from tomorrow without seeing it again

― mark s, Monday, 2 September 2019 18:38 (four years ago) link

Horrific double-length little fingers to advertise chocolate biscuits, sure why not.

― The Pingularity (ledge), Friday, 6 September 2019 18:35 (four years ago) link

"hi I'm Harry Kreddknapp and I'm an enormous cunt"

Ant & Dec: HOLD US PINTS

― Joe Proroguin' (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 8 September 2019 20:32 (four years ago) link

Was going to complain about that "is it Monday? Because it feels like a Thursday" bollocks but ledge already has. (Only noticed the fingers last night - I tend to look away during the adverts so i hear them more than see them)

Graham is still climbing those stairs.

― koogs, Sunday, 8 September 2019 23:47 (four years ago) link

You know you've been sat in front of daytime TV too long when you start seriously worrying about how your family will pay for the cost of your funeral

― a wagging to the furious (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 19 September 2019 08:26 (four years ago) link

And have stilted and badly acted conversations about it to boot.

― Let them eat Pfifferlinge an Schneckensauce (Tom D.), Thursday, 19 September 2019 08:28 (four years ago) link

Badly stilted and acted conversations?

― Mark G, Thursday, 19 September 2019 19:28 (four years ago) link

Yes.

― Oppo (Mark G), Thursday, 19 September 2019 19:29 (four years ago) link

But there's nothing badly stilted about the rising cost of funerals. Did you know the average funeral can cost over £4000 pind?

― a wagging to the furious (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 19 September 2019 19:37 (four years ago) link

The deliveroo one though? With the woman who comes across like Jess Phillips.

― gyac, Thursday, 19 September 2019 19:40 (four years ago) link

trying to picture it, dunno if i've somehow missed that one. if it's not Smithsonian, PBS or Yesterday there's a good chance

― a wagging to the furious (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 19 September 2019 19:46 (four years ago) link

took me fucking forever to find
https://youtu.be/UG2JEURpGkQ

― gyac, Thursday, 19 September 2019 19:54 (four years ago) link

no i haven't seen that thank god, tbf if it was Jess P she'd have had to pretend to be really angry at her KFC chips being cold or something

― a wagging to the furious (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 19 September 2019 19:57 (four years ago) link

that's another ad that i've heard but never seen (until now)

― koogs, Thursday, 19 September 2019 19:59 (four years ago) link

the Twirl girl

― Number None, Saturday, 21 September 2019 10:38 (four years ago) link

Why so aggressive, Kevin?

Also, it's probably the new iPhone and not the avocados that means you can't afford a mortgage.

― koogs, Wednesday, 25 September 2019 17:50 (four years ago) link

I feel like there's a bumper crop of terrible adverts at the moment. Apparently there's different versions of this particular monstrosity, byut thankfully this is the only one I've seen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wd9uYTCCYyc

― Let them eat Pfifferlinge an Schneckensauce (Tom D.), Monday, 30 September 2019 17:54 (four years ago) link

Nationwide are the patron saint of shit adverts.

― Dan Worsley, Monday, 30 September 2019 18:00 (four years ago) link

Ant and Dec advert for Santander also terrible - I hate those cunts anyway but nonetheless.

― Let them eat Pfifferlinge an Schneckensauce (Tom D.), Monday, 30 September 2019 18:00 (four years ago) link

> Apparently there's different versions of this particular monstrosity

i've seen 3 different comedians. think i complained about it upthread (comedy doesn't bear repeated watches)

GET READY FOR BREXIT.

― koogs, Monday, 30 September 2019 18:17 (four years ago) link

This one is just disturbing...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svsBtauYUkE

― Let them eat Pfifferlinge an Schneckensauce (Tom D.), Monday, 30 September 2019 19:42 (four years ago) link

As you say..

Those comedy ones are probably the best of that type of ad (remember the "Smug Google" one?) but twice each (tops) is enough.

― Mark G, Monday, 30 September 2019 20:00 (four years ago) link

we are in a very poor time for adverts

the only one I've seen recently that I quite liked was for...that new innocent smoothies blue drink. that's what i've sunk to

mind you it is quite a nice drink ngl

― imago, Monday, 30 September 2019 20:24 (four years ago) link

oh, it looks like you're on the phone but then the scenery pulls back and you're there in person. cool effect.

oh, it looks like you've on the ipod but then the scenery pulls back and you're there in person. ok, we've seen that before.

oh, it looks like you've on the laptop but then the scenery pulls back and you're there in person. zzzz.

― koogs, Friday, 4 October 2019 20:00 (four years ago) link

I really wanna punch Drew from the Aldi advert in the nuts

― Xia Nu del Vague (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 10 October 2019 20:21 (four years ago) link

lots of companies pushing hallowe'en tat this year.

― koogs, Thursday, 10 October 2019 21:04 (four years ago) link

I've started thinking the grumpy teen on the right in the Robert Webb advert for Now TV is how Laura Pidcock looks in the shadow cabinet.

― So, your CV says you're a (checks notes) DJ and stand-up comedian (aldo), Thursday, 10 October 2019 21:23 (four years ago) link

Every time the Gucci advert that uses In Every Dream Home A Heartache starts up, I laugh. Did they never listen to the lyrics?

― So, your CV says you're a (checks notes) DJ and stand-up comedian (aldo), Thursday, 10 October 2019 21:25 (four years ago) link

there's a local artist - who is disabled and on income assistance - who gucci contacted about doing something with, they had some back and forth and then they then cut contact (without saying they were doing so). shortly afterwards they've got someone else to just rip off her work completely and she hasn't seen a cent. so fuck gucci basically

― Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 10 October 2019 21:30 (four years ago) link

the kid in the Mr Kipling advert looks like a motherfucker with some dark secrets

― Xia Nu del Vague (Noodle Vague), Monday, 14 October 2019 20:20 (four years ago) link

Holy fucking shit lads

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0g1DB5hBosk

― Xia Nu del Vague (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 17 October 2019 08:51 (four years ago) link

the advert in question is one of two that C4 are using (the other one is some optical thing) that completely mangles English into something nobody could use

that video is incredible though, the shot they use when she says 'the masses'!!

― imago, Thursday, 17 October 2019 10:01 (four years ago) link

i searched for it after seeing the actual advert this morning and being mind blown by the acting choices especially shivering beardo

― Xia Nu del Vague (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 17 October 2019 10:07 (four years ago) link

This sort of thing will happen if you employ a 12 year old as your Marketing Manager.

― Michael Oliver of Penge Wins £5 (Tom D.), Thursday, 17 October 2019 11:05 (four years ago) link

haha, I hadn't seen the ad, so watched the video you posted and was expecting... something else

Nothing says 'durable' like a shivering man I guess
The Alan Partridge fan in me always wants to shriek "ONE CANNOT HAVE GRADATIONS OF UNIQUENESS!" when I hear stuff like this

― kinder, Thursday, 17 October 2019 12:37 (four years ago) link

the alexa ad with the blind woman. am i the only person unconvinced by her choice of shoes after hearing that rain is forecast? umbrella, yes, but change your shoes for crying out loud.

― oscar bravo, Thursday, 17 October 2019 12:45 (four years ago) link

Also, it made our machine shout out today's weather for Slough.

(We don't live in Slough)

― Mark G, Saturday, 19 October 2019 08:15 (four years ago) link

the lloyds bank emo horses can eff right off

― mark s, Saturday, 19 October 2019 09:53 (four years ago) link

I just saw another solidor advert except it wasn't for solidor it was for another door company

― kinder, Saturday, 19 October 2019 22:17 (four years ago) link

It's 2019, Now TV shouldn't be making adverts where the punchline is the fear of something being put up someone's bum.

― So, your CV says you're a (checks notes) DJ and stand-up comedian (aldo), Saturday, 19 October 2019 22:37 (four years ago) link

they also shouldn't be making adverts featuring Robert Webb

― Number None, Sunday, 20 October 2019 18:51 (four years ago) link

Nobody should be employing Robert Webb

― Xia Nu del Vague (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 20 October 2019 19:03 (four years ago) link

the ad with all the goths on the tube is bad

― mark s, Sunday, 20 October 2019 19:08 (four years ago) link

Natalie Portman why are you cross with me I haven't done anything

― Xia Nu del Vague (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 20 October 2019 19:21 (four years ago) link

"we are veggies, we are healthy" makes me want to go full Jordan Peterson

― Xia Nu del Vague (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 20 October 2019 22:06 (four years ago) link

don't do that you'll get constipated

― mark s, Sunday, 20 October 2019 22:07 (four years ago) link

As Charles Bukowski once observed, an alcoholic is seldom constipated

― Xia Nu del Vague (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 20 October 2019 22:08 (four years ago) link

Ugh, what a voice and the advert is incomprehensible gargabe.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vR9zLj2bP3w

― Michael Oliver of Penge Wins £5 (Tom D.), Monday, 21 October 2019 17:52 (four years ago) link

give it a fucking rest Brian Blessed

― Xia Nu del Vague (Noodle Vague), Friday, 1 November 2019 22:13 (four years ago) link

"one neighbour's stuff, another might need" grinds my gears so fucking hard

― Xia Nu del Vague (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 5 November 2019 17:17 (four years ago) link

Dove and the fucking microbiome.

"If our bodies have it, then we should respect it". Yes, but until they told you about it, you didn't even know what it was, FFS.

― Bloody Snail, Tuesday, 5 November 2019 22:20 (four years ago) link

So if you have a horrible abcess or growth you should respect it? Not that I do, of course. Have a horrible abcess or growth, that is.

― Michael Oliver of Penge Wins £5 (Tom D.), Tuesday, 5 November 2019 22:44 (four years ago) link

tesco club card plus, revoiced Casablanca scene, low quality.

(then there's the idea of a *paid* loyalty card)

― koogs, Wednesday, 6 November 2019 20:21 (four years ago) link

the important thing is that Giffgaff is stylishly incomprehensible garbage.

― A is for (Aimless), Wednesday, 6 November 2019 21:05 (four years ago) link

I use giffgaff and I think it's brilliant, almost perfect, but their marketing, the matey tone they use for voicemails, all terrible

― or something, Wednesday, 6 November 2019 21:55 (four years ago) link

I don't even know what it is.

― Michael Oliver of Penge Wins £5 (Tom D.), Wednesday, 6 November 2019 23:43 (four years ago) link

giffgaff is gabbo

― A is for (Aimless), Thursday, 7 November 2019 00:39 (four years ago) link

(Alexei Sayles had things to say about giffgaff, and the financial crisis, in his sandwich show thing the other day. It was a repeat but...)

― koogs, Thursday, 7 November 2019 03:37 (four years ago) link

That Dacia advert is back and the "Go Duster!" in completely the wrong place annoys me as much as ever.

― So, your CV says you're a (checks notes) DJ and stand-up comedian (aldo), Thursday, 7 November 2019 17:21 (four years ago) link

pc world 'crimbo' adverts

― koogs, Saturday, 9 November 2019 11:38 (four years ago) link

... the ones with the long overdue reappearance of Advert Man, shaven and looking a little older?

― 'Skills' Wallace (Tom D.), Saturday, 9 November 2019 12:58 (four years ago) link

OK, so the guy looks like your standard issue UK advertising bearded wanker but, Jesus, the accent, this is probably the worst American accent I have ever heard...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfhEaYUWFdE

... and this isn't a one off either, all of their adverts have this Dick Van Dyke In Reverse lead character.

― 'Skills' Wallace (Tom D.), Saturday, 9 November 2019 13:02 (four years ago) link

Jesus if I hear one more advert using that "She did a bad bad thing" song aka the cuntiest record of all time I'm gonna write a hyperbolic sweary post on the Worst Adverts thread

― Joe Kulak 😎 (Noodle Vague), Monday, 11 November 2019 18:18 (four years ago) link

I feel like there's a bumper crop of terrible adverts at the moment. Apparently there's different versions of this particular monstrosity, byut thankfully this is the only one I've seen.

📹

I’ve seen about five different versions of this and I hope you remain as lucky as you were tbh. Fucking horrendous stuff.

― gyac, Monday, 11 November 2019 20:00 (four years ago) link

I wish Aldi would stop trying to make that fucking carrot happen

― Joe Kulak 😎 (Noodle Vague), Monday, 11 November 2019 21:09 (four years ago) link

people love that fucking carrot unfortunately

― Number None, Monday, 11 November 2019 22:21 (four years ago) link

who the fuck could love the fucking carrot and what kind of monster would rather have carrots than sprouts?

― Joe Kulak 😎 (Noodle Vague), Monday, 11 November 2019 22:23 (four years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=multn2bwycM

― mark s, Monday, 11 November 2019 22:24 (four years ago) link

I was gonna guess there was a dog's head in the box but not like that.

― Joe Kulak 😎 (Noodle Vague), Monday, 11 November 2019 22:26 (four years ago) link

M&S Christmas food: because the gulags can't come quickly enough

― Joe Kulak 😎 (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 12 November 2019 01:23 (four years ago) link

I hope that little cunt shilling for the British Heart Foundation gets vascular dementia soon

― The Man Who Was Thirsty (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 19 November 2019 16:41 (four years ago) link

Did somebody say just eat

― or something, Tuesday, 19 November 2019 16:45 (four years ago) link

Hell yes

― The Man Who Was Thirsty (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 19 November 2019 16:46 (four years ago) link

And now it's stuck in my head, kill me please

― or something, Tuesday, 19 November 2019 16:51 (four years ago) link

Having said that I am considering ordering a kebab

― The Man Who Was Thirsty (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 19 November 2019 16:55 (four years ago) link

Was bombarded with Postcode Lottery adverts when in England for a couple of days. Hoooooboy... They completely copied the aesthetics of this vile Dutch lottery, down to the logo and colours. And with the same fake plastic smiley celebs you want to punch in the face again and again. They've got it down to a tee. Depressing and disturbing. Another Dutch export success!

― Le Bateau Ivre, Tuesday, 19 November 2019 19:16 (four years ago) link

they're the worst and absolutely pitched at the poorest section of society, something feels very real and very fucked about the emotional impact of winning a five figure sum of money to people and on some level i can relate, i didn't even realise the cunts doing the advert were "celebs" until i looked them up

― The Man Who Was Thirsty (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 19 November 2019 19:19 (four years ago) link

the cancer charity one is the worst tho, some 15 year old twat in specs and a lab coat so you're supposed to think he's a scientist

― The Man Who Was Thirsty (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 19 November 2019 19:20 (four years ago) link

i hate advertising on some visceral dna puritan level tbf tho, also i'm a depressed moaning bore

― The Man Who Was Thirsty (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 19 November 2019 19:21 (four years ago) link

I've said it before but I can never listen to Let Em In again and I liked that song a lot

― or something, Tuesday, 19 November 2019 19:26 (four years ago) link

I admit using 'celebs' rather freely there, but over here it's exactly the same: crestfallen soap opera 'stars' and strictly come dancing ppl etc. Fuck, I looked the UK one up and the wiki says even Attenbrough is an "ambassador", sad lol. I was taken aback seeing it on English telly because I naively thought this tragedy had been confined to this country. But of course the cunts exported this lottery that plays on FOMO and guilt, because it does so very well what you just said: wring out some more dough from the poorest, instilling them with the fear of their cunt neighbours winning a huge prize and them being left behind. It's criminal.

A Dutch add (viewer discretion is advised). Same aesthetics, same "celebs" you want to slice open. All I want for christmas is the bald fucker to be decapitated, plz Santa:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZZSGs5nWW0

― Le Bateau Ivre, Tuesday, 19 November 2019 19:27 (four years ago) link

oh shit i didn't realise it was an international property

the irony is that "postcode lottery" started life as a phrase describing something v negative

― The Man Who Was Thirsty (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 19 November 2019 19:29 (four years ago) link

Above ad amazingly, defiantly doesn't even contain tears. It's in the fine print that if you win, they can waterboard and taser you till you cry and admit your darkest fears and secrets. Because some GRATITUDE hello people. xp

oh shit i didn't realise it was an international property

A fine Dutch invention :(

― Le Bateau Ivre, Tuesday, 19 November 2019 19:31 (four years ago) link

the irony is that "postcode lottery" started life as a phrase describing something v negative

― The Man Who Was Thirsty (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, November 19, 2019 8:29 PM (one minute ago) bookmarkflaglink

Would campaign for that meaning to overtake the better known one here tbf

― Le Bateau Ivre, Tuesday, 19 November 2019 19:32 (four years ago) link

Dear Macmillan I bet you think you're so clever with your chirpy song about death which is fucking horrible you scumbags

― The Man Who Was Thirsty (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 20 November 2019 10:13 (four years ago) link

it's Marie Curie I think, not Macmillan?

that's a double-edged one really. I could really do without the endless parade of funeral planning and life insurance for the over 50s ads, and this falls into that for me, but my wife doesn't mind this particular ad because she thinks people should be talking about death more. I doubt she'd feel the same way if it was Macmillan doing it though, because she hates Macmillan

― Colonel Poo, Wednesday, 20 November 2019 12:59 (four years ago) link

i hate advertising on some visceral dna puritan level tbf tho, also i'm a depressed moaning bore

That makes two of us - at least.

Now I love red hair and I love redheads and, if I were to let my beard grow, you'd soon see I've got the gene myself - having said all that, any chance that advertising agencies can stop using redheads (women and children especially) in every second advert? It's the abject lack of imagination displayed by these advertising 'creatives' that irritates me rather than people with red hair fwiw.

― 'Skills' Wallace (Tom D.), Wednesday, 20 November 2019 13:15 (four years ago) link

i think you're right CP, i didn't bother to factcheck. otm about all the funeral plan ads but i find that Marie Curie thing particularly triggering even tho your wife is right, really.

That fucking screamy "I want my bang bang" song on the phone advert, now that's *really* triggering, but it triggers hatred

― The Man Who Was Thirsty (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 20 November 2019 13:27 (four years ago) link

jfc at that Tesco Casablanca advert

― The World According To.... (Michael B), Wednesday, 20 November 2019 13:29 (four years ago) link

i like the way they don't even try to sound like the actors

― The Man Who Was Thirsty (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 20 November 2019 13:35 (four years ago) link

And I keep hearing it as ‘...that can’t stop talking about’, instead of ‘...you can’t stop talking about. It’s annoying, in a minor way.

― Bidh boladh a' mhairbh de 'n láimh fhalaimh (dowd), Wednesday, 20 November 2019 13:54 (four years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Is there anything more let's nuke the planet from orbit than perfume ads?

― éminence rose et jaune (Noodle Vague), Friday, 6 December 2019 17:59 (four years ago) link

I get great joy from the TV perfume ad that goes
"Shall I.... rephrase the question?"
"..... I'm not going to be the person I'm expected to be any more"

It is SOOOOOOOOO SHIT
and it's for a MEGA LUXURY BRAND
and it's DIRECTED BY SCORSESE

and it's like something Alan Partridge would come up with

― kinder, Friday, 6 December 2019 18:22 (four years ago) link

I still don't like it when Natalie Portman glowers at me like it's my fault

― éminence rose et jaune (Noodle Vague), Friday, 6 December 2019 18:24 (four years ago) link

Oh my god Scorsese directed that ad that rips off Mishima?

― éminence rose et jaune (Noodle Vague), Friday, 6 December 2019 18:25 (four years ago) link

New andrex one with skincare vloggers can fuck off

― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 6 December 2019 21:49 (four years ago) link

Any advert with 'ordinary people' (actors) singing a famous song badly - because ordinary people (stupid plebs) can't sing.

― I've Got A Ron Wood Solo Album To Listen To (Tom D.), Friday, 6 December 2019 21:53 (four years ago) link

Any advert with actors playing homeless people because real homeless aren't sympathetic enough

― Mark G, Friday, 6 December 2019 22:29 (four years ago) link

three weeks pass...

they keep showing THE SAME 'on the beach' advert twice in a single ad break. why?

― koogs, Sunday, 29 December 2019 19:11 (four years ago) link

I can't tell why the voiceover is a Lee Marvin impression.

― So, your CV says you're a (checks notes) DJ and stand-up comedian (aldo), Sunday, 29 December 2019 20:15 (four years ago) link

I thought John Goodman, which makes about 3 things he is currently advertising

― koogs, Sunday, 29 December 2019 20:51 (four years ago) link

oh, it's Iggy Pop

― koogs, Sunday, 29 December 2019 20:52 (four years ago) link

ctrl+f 'peloton guy' not found, wtf people

― Paperbag raita (ledge), Sunday, 29 December 2019 22:01 (four years ago) link

I'm guessing we won't be seeing it any more now the season is over, thankfully, but the Sky TV ad with Idris Elba singing "In the days over Christmas I like to watch mov-eez" to the tune of The 12 Days of Christmas was one of the more irritating things over the holiday. Jeez, you'd think a copywriting agency would be able to find someone to write some new words where at least one of them fit with the melody.

― Bloody Snail, Sunday, 29 December 2019 22:18 (four years ago) link

Peloton got a brief mention a year ago but, yes, annoying. I never saw their controversial advert, just this current one and the earlier one which was the same but with a woman leading. "Smashed it"

― koogs, Monday, 30 December 2019 00:41 (four years ago) link

can't work out if "what do i want from a vacuum cleaner?" woman was asked to play stranglably smug on purpose or not

― Kebabs Windsor (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 2 January 2020 09:49 (four years ago) link

I've noticed they've re-edited the the latest Paddy MxGuinness/Jackpot Joy advert and replaced the most disturbing scene - the one on the bus. I'm sure they must have had complaints.

― Soup on my lanyard (Tom D.), Thursday, 2 January 2020 10:20 (four years ago) link

Lads, solidor have come out with another banger

― Kebabs Windsor (Noodle Vague), Friday, 3 January 2020 13:41 (four years ago) link

Grammarly

― | (Latham Green), Friday, 3 January 2020 20:09 (four years ago) link

This BUPA mental health ad is making me quietly radge

― "Back Home" in Dari (Noodle Vague), Friday, 10 January 2020 23:39 (four years ago) link

Peloton

― Never changed username before (cardamon), Saturday, 11 January 2020 21:20 (four years ago) link

Oh it's been mentioned

I hate everything about it. Expensive exercise bike and app subscription so that twats in a certain wage bracket can look like porn superheroes or whatever it's supposed to be. Go for a fucking run round the park. You smashed it! Awesome work guys, dress down/beer fridge Fridays!

― Never changed username before (cardamon), Saturday, 11 January 2020 21:34 (four years ago) link

And it's all about putting in the work at home to be one up on the next schmoe isn't it. The idea of free time as an opportunity to make yourself fit and competitive, stitched into our normal so seamlessly there's an app for it

― Never changed username before (cardamon), Saturday, 11 January 2020 21:36 (four years ago) link

does anybody else see those adverts for HelloFresh and Gousto and their ilk and think "fuck me how much money do some people earn?"

on an unrelated note I hope Kevin Bacon dies soon

― the Swedish taboo (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 18 January 2020 20:50 (four years ago) link

watching things recorded around Christmas and I'm surprised the m&s jerky jumpers thing never got mentioned here. it's in every ad break.

― koogs, Sunday, 19 January 2020 13:12 (four years ago) link

i liked the dancers :D

― the Swedish taboo (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 19 January 2020 13:14 (four years ago) link

That godawful Gumtree "poem" really grinds my gears

― GK Chessington's World of Adventure (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 25 January 2020 01:14 (four years ago) link

this new campaign for the Clear travel system has one of the stupidest and most annoying slogans I've seen in a good long time. https://www.thedrum.com/creative-works/project/red-antler-clear-you-get-you-places

"You Get You Places" - what? You pays your money and you gets you places.

― El Tomboto, Saturday, 25 January 2020 02:41 (four years ago) link

three weeks pass...

a four star hotel with a pool for this price?

― koogs, Wednesday, 19 February 2020 20:06 (four years ago) link

(didn't there used to like 100 different trivago adverts? why did they settle on this one to replay repeatedly?)

― koogs, Wednesday, 19 February 2020 20:07 (four years ago) link

Lad in a launderette with a gretsch guitar.

Seen it three times this morning!!

(oh, and I own the same guitar, it doesn't sound like that, unpluggedin)

― Mark G, Friday, 28 February 2020 07:36 (four years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Nothing wrong with the advert per se but I suspect this ad campaign might need to be pulled.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjrmP4fKSIg

― God gave toilets rolls to you, gave toilet rolls to you (Tom D.), Sunday, 15 March 2020 15:54 (four years ago) link

I'm very sorry but I kind of want to batter the little twat off the British Heart Foundation adverts

― Richard Hegley (Noodle Vague), Friday, 20 March 2020 09:26 (four years ago) link

So many horribly inappropriate TV ads still running, it's pretty funny.

― I can't pay no doctor bill, but Whitey's on the McAloon (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 22 March 2020 18:17 (four years ago) link

Yes, some grim laughs to be had.

― Bridge Over Thorley Waters (Tom D.), Sunday, 22 March 2020 19:12 (four years ago) link

saw an ad for a dramatisation of the Coughing Colonel incident on Who Wants to be a Millionaire, seemed singularly ill-judged at the moment

― Neil S, Sunday, 22 March 2020 19:23 (four years ago) link

God yeah I saw that trailer and didn't think, looool

There's a Now TV ad that starts something like "Sue feels locked in by her current TV package" accompanied by shot of a woman binge watching in a darkened living room

― I can't pay no doctor bill, but Whitey's on the McAloon (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 22 March 2020 19:41 (four years ago) link

Middleton's mobility scooter advert just ended with the line "something tells me I'll be spending a lot more time outdoors from now on"

― Let's kill the Queen and be legends (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 23:08 (four years ago) link

What kind of fuckwitted kid would you have to be to fall for that "eat them to defeat them" line?

― A rat done bit my sister Nell with Biden on the nom (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 1 April 2020 17:08 (four years ago) link

That 94 second advert grates on me

― koogs, Wednesday, 1 April 2020 20:28 (four years ago) link

I saw an advert for Tampax this morning, the tagline of which was - somewhat unbelievably - "get 'em up there, girls!"

― Doubling down on out of date information (aldo), Friday, 3 April 2020 17:47 (four years ago) link

Oh fuck that twat Tomlinson has done a covid McCains advert

― Kier today, Dom tomorrow (Noodle Vague), Monday, 6 April 2020 21:17 (four years ago) link

Middleton's mobility scooter advert just ended with the line "something tells me I'll be spending a lot more time outdoors from now on"

Still running... the advert and, one would hope, the scooter.

― Did somebody just say eat? (Tom D.), Monday, 6 April 2020 21:23 (four years ago) link

Plus the Foxy bingo ads et al where they all get together in parks, and suchlike.

― Mark G, Monday, 6 April 2020 21:24 (four years ago) link

Well I reached the "wishing violent painful death on everybody responsible for rona-based adverts" stage pretty quickly

― Pliny O'Toole (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 11 April 2020 09:24 (four years ago) link

Yes, banks and supermarkets all seem to have replaced their adverts with zoom calls.

― koogs, Saturday, 11 April 2020 13:09 (four years ago) link

Pg tips as well. Fucking vertical video mess.

― koogs, Saturday, 11 April 2020 13:59 (four years ago) link

That and the national lottery ad in the same break.

― koogs, Saturday, 11 April 2020 14:00 (four years ago) link

wasn't even thinking of the stylistic cliches but yes ugggggh already

― Pliny O'Toole (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 11 April 2020 14:02 (four years ago) link

kevin bacon's doing it now

― koogs, Saturday, 11 April 2020 19:49 (four years ago) link

nationwide doubling down with lockdown adverts featuring terrible poems

― koogs, Tuesday, 14 April 2020 20:26 (four years ago) link

I'm guessing they all had prebooked the ad slots, and have run round (within the house obv) filming replacement ads for the "Good vibes, sunshine and so forth" substituting the sober concern ones.

Except for bingo sites doing the CARRY ON PLAYING THIS AT Home sell, with the split second "When you run out of money, stop playing" frame with a website in little writing..

― Mark G, Tuesday, 14 April 2020 21:34 (four years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Can't believe Cadburys are still trying to sell that dark milk shit

― clap for content-providers (Noodle Vague), Friday, 1 May 2020 07:45 (three years ago) link

Trevor MacDonald doing that advert for television is excruciating

― Neil S, Friday, 1 May 2020 07:49 (three years ago) link

nationwide doubling down with lockdown adverts featuring terrible poems

― koogs, Tuesday, April 14, 2020 8:26 PM (three weeks ago) bookmarkflaglink

nnngh didn't manage to hit mute early enough and accidentally heard some of this

― Neil S, Wednesday, 6 May 2020 08:19 (three years ago) link

Jake from State farm is b-b-black now??? Drake from State farm?????? excuse me, no. this is ridiculous. change a character beloved by millions for years for no reason other than wokeness. what is this world coming to

― lumen (esby), Wednesday, 6 May 2020 08:26 (three years ago) link

that fucking apple phone unboxing advert

― koogs, Thursday, 7 May 2020 15:15 (three years ago) link

nationwide doubling down with lockdown adverts featuring terrible poems

― koogs, Tuesday, 14 April 2020 21:26 (three weeks ago) bookmarkflaglink

once again featuring yr man from skint and demoralised i think

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDs840DmESs

― devvvine, Friday, 8 May 2020 20:48 (three years ago) link

Every single charity lottery advert is cunts all the way down

― Flaneuring Bevan (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 9 May 2020 15:03 (three years ago) link

The trevento (wine?) bumper ads featuring 8 men boasting around a pub table about how they went skiing once and didn't die, or how the big rugby man scared them but they survived have now been updated to include some women spouting crap too, along the lines of how yoga can be hard, or something.

― koogs, Saturday, 9 May 2020 20:09 (three years ago) link

> once again featuring yr man from skint and demoralised i think

the ones i keep seeing are pregnant woman talking about how they are coping ok and the 'we're getting married in 6 months regardless' and the woman apologising to future-self for all the lockdown comfort eating.

(may not all be nationwide adverts, they all look the same, increasingly so)

― koogs, Saturday, 9 May 2020 20:12 (three years ago) link

On the Queen soundtracked NHS one there are two women standing about 3' apart but in their own gardens so that's fine obviously.

― Mud... jam... failure (aldo), Saturday, 9 May 2020 20:54 (three years ago) link

there are actual food-banks shown on some of those government/NHS Coronavirus public information films, un-fucking-believable

― Neil S, Saturday, 9 May 2020 21:18 (three years ago) link

watching something taped before christmas and in one ad break i've just had

tesco club card plus casablanca ad
the coca cola tongue ad
amazon warehouse 'donna's cakes!' ad

― koogs, Sunday, 17 May 2020 17:28 (three years ago) link

The advert for thrush medicine where she winks like she's flirting with a yeast infection.

― Mud... jam... failure (aldo), Sunday, 17 May 2020 19:52 (three years ago) link

that is a mindfuckingly camp advert

― come out you melts and bams (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 17 May 2020 20:19 (three years ago) link

There is a lynx ad where a bloke back in time, girl, lockers, hyperspace, girl sprays both of them and they go off together, all that, fine.

For some reason there's a squirrel doing some dance right at the end near a can of lynx. Only, a previous version had the squirrel dancing with the can.

Lets just say, it didn't look like he was dancing...

― Mark G, Monday, 18 May 2020 06:34 (three years ago) link

Lloyds Fucking Bank at it again

― come out you melts and bams (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 23 May 2020 16:18 (three years ago) link

Kind of amazing that advertisers still think using CGI to make it appear animals or, worse, babies, can talk is a good idea. I mean, "Babe" was 25 years ago and the technology looks cheaper and less convincing now than it did then. Also, am I imagining it, or was this a gimmick that took off for a while, then disappeared, and has only started being used again in the last few years?

― Is Lou Reed a Good Singer? (Tom D.), Thursday, 28 May 2020 12:17 (three years ago) link

I hope Jamie Oliver dies of Rona soon

― Children of Bo-Dom (Noodle Vague), Friday, 29 May 2020 14:52 (three years ago) link

"Jonny Fluffypunk" get tae fuck

― Mambo Number 5 was a number one jam (Noodle Vague), Friday, 29 May 2020 19:22 (three years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Itch - flea treatment subscription through the post. comes in a custom cardboard box that basically tells the whole world the situation.

(similarly, i wonder what happens if you send your kids to school in Geox anti-stink trainers)

that numan ED advert seems to be in every ad break i see recently

― koogs, Tuesday, 16 June 2020 15:47 (three years ago) link

"sequences shortened"

― koogs, Tuesday, 16 June 2020 16:05 (three years ago) link

shows I've been watching far too much daytime TV, but those "sponsored by" ads on Come Dine With Me, featuring actors mispronouncing the brandname "Galbani" in ways that suggest they have had an alarming variety of serious brain injuries

― Neil S, Monday, 22 June 2020 13:11 (three years ago) link

I hate where you're expected to buy into a premise that is patently untrue - like Galbani being a difficult word to pronounce. The cunts are getting paid enough they should be able to come up with something better.

― Future England Captain (Tom D.), Monday, 22 June 2020 13:14 (three years ago) link

Robinson's juice, where the kid in court says "what would you like to order". DIE BART DIE

Mind you, I have found out how much actors in a famous ad chain mentioned upthread get and <mindblown.gif>.

― Mud... jam... failure (aldo), Monday, 22 June 2020 14:04 (three years ago) link

xp OTM- it can't be difficult to come up with an ad that doesn't utterly humiliate the actors involved

― Neil S, Monday, 22 June 2020 15:08 (three years ago) link

Like all right-thinking people I've wanted Anthony and Declan to die in agony for a long time, but the new adverts are taking that desire to a higher level

― i have no scampo and i must scream (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 27 June 2020 21:18 (three years ago) link

are they still conceptualising marketing campaigns for Santander in excruciating fashion?

― Neil S, Saturday, 27 June 2020 21:24 (three years ago) link

They are "spontaneously" reuniting "ordinary people" via the magic of the Internet for some reason I've been too radge to fathom

― i have no scampo and i must scream (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 27 June 2020 21:52 (three years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Check, Change, Go.

oh, lauren, what are you doing?

the sky adverts were bad enough.

― koogs, Thursday, 23 July 2020 16:28 (three years ago) link

two weeks pass...

You can shove "Come Together" up your arse

Cunt who voices the Weetabix advert better hope we're never introduced

― The Scampos of Young Werther (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 8 August 2020 12:33 (three years ago) link

(that's Nick Frost, Mike from Spaced)

― koogs, Saturday, 8 August 2020 13:13 (three years ago) link

Excellent, yet another reason to despise him

― The Scampos of Young Werther (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 8 August 2020 13:23 (three years ago) link

I didn't realise that was actually Danny Dyer's daughter in that Surf advert.

― Mud... jam... failure (aldo), Saturday, 8 August 2020 15:12 (three years ago) link

Any of several ads in which adults with camera phones behave like giddy toddlers because they're allowed to eat fast food again

― or something, Saturday, 8 August 2020 17:39 (three years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Hey Google? Play my whales mating playlist.

― peace, man, Monday, 24 August 2020 15:46 (three years ago) link

Brb, have to withdraw all my money from Lloyd's bank.

― koogs, Saturday, 29 August 2020 17:29 (three years ago) link

"My favourite is the cottage pie. No; the lasagne."

― koogs, Thursday, 3 September 2020 15:56 (three years ago) link

In the spirit of responsible posting I'm not going to describe the violence I've fantasised about inflicting on the new Asda advert man

― how do i shot moon? (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 13 September 2020 22:05 (three years ago) link

Shot and edited on iPhone

(Additional software and hardware used)

― koogs, Monday, 14 September 2020 01:29 (three years ago) link

you wait ages for an advert for underwear made from bamboo and then two come along at once.

the 'isn't it good to share' mobile phone advert is misleading, i think - in all the examples you see the thing (pizza, bicycle, sandwiches...) being shared grows in size before the sharing, which isn't the case with your data.

― koogs, Saturday, 19 September 2020 20:07 (three years ago) link

gee willikins the current Sainsbury's advert is bad bad bad

― how do i shot moon? (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 19 September 2020 20:13 (three years ago) link

These Nationwide "poets" aren't even trying any more are they?

― Mille scampeaux (Noodle Vague), Monday, 28 September 2020 17:12 (three years ago) link

"I am not a poet
Living is the poem..."

― Mark G, Monday, 28 September 2020 18:24 (three years ago) link

three weeks pass...

I should probably stop watching re-runs of Star Trek TNG on the Horror Channel, but for inexplicable algorithmic reasons during the breaks they show a Barbie ad, which is truly stroke-inducing in its twee awfulness

― Neil S, Wednesday, 21 October 2020 09:43 (three years ago) link

the girl imagining she's giving a lecture? horrible

― Notes on "Scamp" (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 21 October 2020 10:31 (three years ago) link

that's the one!

― Neil S, Wednesday, 21 October 2020 10:35 (three years ago) link

The guy in the latest nationwide ad had managed to achieve the most hateable hair and beard combination I've ever seen, I can't even look at him

― or something, Wednesday, 21 October 2020 10:55 (three years ago) link

I agree, but I am ashamed to admit that his joke is... almost funny?

― Neil S, Wednesday, 21 October 2020 11:02 (three years ago) link

I'm sorry but I can't get past his head

― or something, Wednesday, 21 October 2020 11:17 (three years ago) link

it's not a joke, it's a poem

apparently

― Notes on "Scamp" (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 21 October 2020 11:45 (three years ago) link

apparently poems are just saying stuff now

― Notes on "Scamp" (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 21 October 2020 11:45 (three years ago) link

I went for a big shit this morning
It's great having a house with a bog
Cheers Nationwide

― Notes on "Scamp" (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 21 October 2020 11:46 (three years ago) link

that particular one doesn't make me want to permanently deafen myself like all the others, so that's something

― Neil S, Wednesday, 21 October 2020 12:37 (three years ago) link

wait, the hateable yoga ad or the equally hateable bedroom door ad?

― koogs, Wednesday, 21 October 2020 12:43 (three years ago) link

The one with a man who's head would look the same if it was put on upside down

― or something, Wednesday, 21 October 2020 12:47 (three years ago) link

The worst recent poem is the woman given a cake in the coffee shop.

― pedantly admonishment (aldo), Wednesday, 21 October 2020 12:49 (three years ago) link

still feel like Jonny Fluffypunk takes the cake for being called Jonny Fluffypunk

― Notes on "Scamp" (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 21 October 2020 12:51 (three years ago) link

cake one very bad but brother coming in my bedroom one even worse for just saying stuff

― Notes on "Scamp" (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 21 October 2020 12:52 (three years ago) link

Poll?

― or something, Wednesday, 21 October 2020 13:20 (three years ago) link

two weeks pass...

remember when all the adverts were fake zoom calls with the asian one forgetting to unmute and the obligatory pet interruption at the end? seems like a million years ago.

the meta go-compare ads need to stop.

― koogs, Tuesday, 10 November 2020 19:14 (three years ago) link

has anybody noticed on the current Vanish carpet cleaner ads that the voiceover dude says "revive carpets" in this really weird aggro way?

― big man on scampus (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 10 November 2020 19:18 (three years ago) link

Not everybody likes Christmas Lisa

― Ward Fowler, Friday, 20 November 2020 10:04 (three years ago) link

Depends what she bring to da partie

― Mark G, Friday, 20 November 2020 13:01 (three years ago) link

the one with a lot of presumably newly-wiped arses walking away is a bit odd.

― koogs, Friday, 20 November 2020 15:26 (three years ago) link

"odd" is one word, "absolutely rank and i'd like to murder everybody responsible" is some more words

― Bandscamp Fryday (Noodle Vague), Friday, 20 November 2020 15:36 (three years ago) link

two weeks pass...

ah, perfume advert season, time for random music choices. "Cheree" - beautiful, perfect. "Where Is My Mind?" - still really love you despite being a lazy cunt's cliche. The "She Done a Bad Bad Thing" song - get tae fuck with your white twat blues bollocks I used to think you was the worst thing ever recorded. Until: are they called Dead Weather? I dunno. That Jack White thing with the cunt out of Deadpool or whatever. I hope everybody in the vicinity of wherever that shit was recorded dies and goes to hell.

― Uptown Top Scamping (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 5 December 2020 14:02 (three years ago) link

haven't seen that one but the Bad Bad Thing one is fucking awful yes

― CP Radio Gorgeous (Colonel Poo), Saturday, 5 December 2020 14:13 (three years ago) link

I thought the song in the perfume ad with Marion Cottilard was a spoof at first but there has never been a medium with less sense of dramatic irony than perfume advertising and this was just another example

― or something, Saturday, 5 December 2020 14:37 (three years ago) link

It's amazing how up themselves perfume adverts are, but that's totally the point of them

― Uptown Top Scamping (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 5 December 2020 14:38 (three years ago) link

I guess that's what it takes to flog tiny bottles of flowery smelling liquid for 70 quid

― or something, Saturday, 5 December 2020 14:41 (three years ago) link

Well you don't want to wear it ironically

― Uptown Top Scamping (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 5 December 2020 14:43 (three years ago) link

the JP Gautier one where - gasp!!! - there's a scandal because a supermodel isn't wearing trousers at least doesn't take itself as seriously as the rest of them

― Neil S, Saturday, 5 December 2020 22:08 (three years ago) link

I love JPG so he's allowed

― Uptown Top Scamping (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 5 December 2020 22:12 (three years ago) link

My theory is that the things with the highest profit margins are the things you see most adverts for, so cars and perfume, lots of disposable money to spend on TV exposure.

(Falls down a bit when you consider all the over 50s life insurance adverts, shampoo, and cheapo supermarkets. Or does it?)

― koogs, Sunday, 6 December 2020 07:51 (three years ago) link

Not at all

― Mark G, Sunday, 6 December 2020 23:44 (three years ago) link

they're also those products with least to actually differentiate themselves from one another and most invested in "the brand", hence an arms race in advertising to try to carve out a market share

― Neil S, Monday, 7 December 2020 09:42 (three years ago) link

co-op and now centrepoint have also started doing the poems in adverts thing. it's a plague.

that dancing on the moon thing and the mad max one are good examples of lots of money being thrown at perfume ads.

the snoop dogg just eat ad is better than it sounds on paper.

― koogs, Friday, 18 December 2020 09:44 (three years ago) link

They are now making the ads in Snoop's absence

― Mark G, Friday, 18 December 2020 09:46 (three years ago) link

always the way. iggy pop got replaced by a puppet of iggy pop.

― koogs, Friday, 18 December 2020 10:08 (three years ago) link

they're also those products with least to actually differentiate themselves from one another and most invested in "the brand", hence an arms race in advertising to try to carve out a market share

― Neil S, Monday, December 7, 2020 9:42 AM (one week ago) bookmarkflaglink

I had somebody explaining this idea re alcohol a couple of decades ago. That the bigger brands who you saw most advertising by were seen by those who knew the product in general would view as low com denom, I think he was specifically saying taht if you went to Cuba and ordered a rum and were served with a commercial product you'd be offended. I think he nameda brand but it was a couple of decades ago.,
BUt this was what people had had marketed to them, which was how they knew the product so didn't have a default decent version in their mental database or swatchbook or whatever. AAlso tie taht in with having read about the lasting impression getting a picture from buying from supermarkets as opposed to a more direct less packaged version which has less focus on shelf life and aesthetics of the perfect fruiit that all like pretty iconic but don't taste of anything. Which may be less of a monopolising feature than when i was reading about it but may just be greenwash.

― Stevolende, Friday, 18 December 2020 10:15 (three years ago) link

co-op and now centrepoint have also started doing the poems in adverts thing. it's a plague.

My God yes, rhyming should be banned from adverts.

― Eggbreak Hotel (Tom D.), Friday, 18 December 2020 12:04 (three years ago) link

I had somebody explaining this idea re alcohol a couple of decades ago. That the bigger brands who you saw most advertising by were seen by those who knew the product in general would view as low com denom, I think he was specifically saying taht if you went to Cuba and ordered a rum and were served with a commercial product you'd be offended. I think he nameda brand but it was a couple of decades ago.,
BUt this was what people had had marketed to them, which was how they knew the product so didn't have a default decent version in their mental database or swatchbook or whatever. AAlso tie taht in with having read about the lasting impression getting a picture from buying from supermarkets as opposed to a more direct less packaged version which has less focus on shelf life and aesthetics of the perfect fruiit that all like pretty iconic but don't taste of anything. Which may be less of a monopolising feature than when i was reading about it but may just be greenwash.
― Stevolende, Friday, 18 December 2020 10:15 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

I've tried with this 6 or 7 times now but think I'm just gonna have to call it a day

― or something, Friday, 18 December 2020 12:14 (three years ago) link

point was that they had reduced quality of the product made to fit a non educated taste. A commercial brand was a vague approximation of what was made for but would be what a 'normal punter' would know as taht product. Like if you knew beer as Budweiser lager instead of Budwar or a local brew or something.
& what the supermarket has done to the tastes of what people do not know is the supposed ideal of what these mass production versions are supposed to be approximating. Flavour goes out of the window as do all the things a connoisseur of a product would want in that product.
Certainly seemed to be a widespread thing 10 or 20 years ago but there seemed to be some form of backlash against it which may have been superficial hence greenwash.

Bottom line being agreeing with the idea that taht which needs to rely on advertising doesn't have its own qualities which is what the previous poster's point was.
I agreed with teh person I was in the pub with at the time but could see he may have been overstating. I think his point was taht if you went to Cuba with a Bacardi and tried to pass it off as a decent rum you would be laughed at because it was more fo a commercialised version than anything a rum drinker there would recognise ass worthy. BUt since taht is what people outside of th eoriginal market would be familiar as as rum it is far more the referent point than what should be.

― Stevolende, Friday, 18 December 2020 14:01 (three years ago) link

so a fruit looks iconic because of the amount of food wastage involved in the mass production process. All ugly fruit are dumped while the farmer is left paying for them and also has overhead cut as much as possible to allow supermarket to have lowest possible price.

Foods are packaged for shelf life which meant that some cheeses had their characteristic internal workings removed so they could be vacuum sealed. Big thing I saw referred to in a number of places was flavour being sacrificed for looks. you would wind up with bland if not tasteless ideal looking apples and strawberries among other fruit.

― Stevolende, Friday, 18 December 2020 14:12 (three years ago) link

I thought you meant Bacardi, in which case unfortunately it's more of less total bollocks.

Bacardi was an attempt to make a smoother, better class/higher price rum, but way back in the middle of the 19th Century. They started production off Cuba circa wwII but escaped to America - having been opposed to the revolution - when Castro siezed their assets.

Havana Club*, on the other hand, is drunk throughout Cuba and is very much commercialised and/or branded there as being 'superior' compared to Ron Cubay which is sort of the only other available country-wide as opposed to the local factory which will be Ron de town or city.

As with tequila, the real difference isn't necessarily the producer but more the aging - silver only good for mixing, añejo to be sipped with a cube of ice. Even more so, if you go down the rabbit hole into rums where the sugar cane is sourced from a single plantation (which is broadly the same sort of cachet as single malts) but to my knowledge Cuba doesn't make any of those.

* Not to be confused with the Havana Club you buy here, which is made by Bacardi to the same recipe (which they bought from the family) as the one made in Cuba (and tastes pretty close).

― pedantly admonishment (aldo), Friday, 18 December 2020 14:30 (three years ago) link

Thankfully the Pimlico Plumbers Christmas advert is, like the new covid strain, limited to the London area.

― koogs, Saturday, 19 December 2020 21:38 (three years ago) link

LOL they are choice.

― Eggbreak Hotel (Tom D.), Saturday, 19 December 2020 22:13 (three years ago) link

Lol Schwimmer you sad bastard

― Uptown Top Scamping (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 27 December 2020 23:50 (three years ago) link

Enough's enough with the charity adverts: donkeys, elephants, blind kids, tigers, etc etc. I might go out and kick a donkey myself if this onslaught continues.

― Eggbreak Hotel (Tom D.), Monday, 28 December 2020 00:04 (three years ago) link

Fuck's sake Rylan mind your own business

― Uptown Top Scamping (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 9 January 2021 21:38 (three years ago) link

Also if I ever see a Lloyd's horse irl I'm shooting the fucker

― Uptown Top Scamping (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 9 January 2021 21:39 (three years ago) link

there are four separate terrible gin adverts at the moment

(gin club, sipsmiths, gordon's non-alcoholic gin (£14 a bottle...) and that netflix-y one (also gordon's))

― koogs, Saturday, 9 January 2021 22:00 (three years ago) link

Netflix one makes me violently angry yes

― Uptown Top Scamping (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 9 January 2021 22:01 (three years ago) link

Also if I ever see a Lloyd's horse irl I'm shooting the fucker

― Uptown Top Scamping (Noodle Vague), Saturday, January 9, 2021 9:39 PM (twenty-eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

the tremulous cover version as a soundtrack nnnngh

― Sven Vath's scary carpet (Neil S), Saturday, 9 January 2021 22:09 (three years ago) link

make that 5 terrible gin adverts

clean.co low alcohol gin, etc, featuring two people from towie? made in chelsea? one of those

― koogs, Wednesday, 13 January 2021 21:39 (three years ago) link

Where's William Hogarth when you need him?

― Eggbreak Hotel (Tom D.), Wednesday, 13 January 2021 23:40 (three years ago) link

Two new ones to hate.

"I blummin' love my meat" SAID NO-ONE EVER.

"Can give my pre-loved clothes a second life." YOU ALREADY HAVE BY BUYING THEM - SELLING THEM WILL BE (AT LEAST) A THIRD LIFE.

― Well *I* know who he is (aldo), Saturday, 16 January 2021 21:21 (three years ago) link

four weeks pass...

i think i'm a bad person because i want to smash the "cancer won't win" lady in the face

― The Scampo Fell to Earth (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 13 February 2021 12:18 (three years ago) link

Feel the same about the Domino's guy. "Himalayan herrings". I've seen some contrived scenarios in ads in my time but these latest Domino's ones are excruciating

― or something, Saturday, 13 February 2021 12:32 (three years ago) link

I just end up shouting "just leave them, you're better than that mate" at the telly when that's on.

Your son gets to throw you out of the house because he doesn't like your dinner and your wife takes his side? Grow a pair and/or get them tae fuck.

― Well *I* know who he is (aldo), Saturday, 13 February 2021 12:40 (three years ago) link

You're a better person than me then, I'd encourage him to jump in front of a train

― or something, Saturday, 13 February 2021 12:49 (three years ago) link

oh aye those Dominos adverts are some bullshit it's true

― The Scampo Fell to Earth (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 13 February 2021 12:55 (three years ago) link

"NEVER LEAVE YOUR COMFORT ZONE"

fuck you overpriced pizza lads

― The Scampo Fell to Earth (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 13 February 2021 12:56 (three years ago) link

three weeks pass...

I didn't think it was possible but somehow Barnardo's has lowered the bar for cunts overacting wildly over shit tiny lottery prizes

― The Scampo Fell to Earth (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 6 March 2021 13:51 (three years ago) link

the William Hill Vegas gaming app adverts have some good (bad) overreacting. "Olympia Megaways!". website looks full of cheap cookie-cutter slot machine apps.

but the Hey Car white guy rapping / miming in a car is probably my least favourite ad right now.

― koogs, Saturday, 6 March 2021 14:00 (three years ago) link

i enjoy hatewatching the Billy Hill ads yes, surely borderline legal in their depiction of win win win

Hey Car ad actor looks like a mate of mine which is unfortunate

― The Scampo Fell to Earth (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 6 March 2021 14:10 (three years ago) link

I can imagine this advertising agency were very pleased they'd managed to do an advert about pet food without mentioning pet food, or even pets - but they're wrong, it's some shite about pet food.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rnJf4I-n5c

― Wrote For Lunch (Tom D.), Saturday, 6 March 2021 14:13 (three years ago) link

nationwide have tripled down on the 'bloke complaining about exercise' ads after the bloke who said the best thing about home yoga is not having to do it.

the new ones have a jogger who likes the sauna and the footballer who eats chocolate. and NEITHER of them have diddly to do with building societies.

at least they don't rhyme.

― koogs, Saturday, 13 March 2021 20:23 (three years ago) link

Footballer eating chocolate is particularly annoying. I mean if it's his favourite thing to do with his mates presumably he does it all the time and they have a routine booking and a way of divvying up the costs - so is he just trying to be Billy Big Bollocks by saying I've got this to the bill for the foreseeable future?

Or is it something he's done once or twice and would rather deny the rest of the public the opportunity to play football coming out of lockdown on the offchance once it comes round he'll want to play over and over again?

Presumably he's contacted the place and already booked but he just says "so I can book" which suggests he hasn't, so isn't he rather hoping that nobody else has had the same brilliant idea as him in order to play football at all?

Equally presumably he's already discussed this with enough mates to form the teams and that they haven't got anything else they'd rather be doing with their new found freedoms like just going to the pub. And they're ok with letting him pay for it all, so they clearly don't like him that much (although they're obviously as selfish as him).

It's amazing how many ways someone can make it clear they're a wanker from such a short ad.

― Well *I* know who he is (aldo), Saturday, 13 March 2021 20:37 (three years ago) link

four weeks pass...

Why does the Vanish voice over man say "revive carpets" like he wants to hurt me?

― Call of Scampi: Slack Nephrops (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 10 April 2021 14:04 (three years ago) link

the purple bricks ad where the blonde woman kicks the punch bag is doing my head in because I can't decide whether the awkward nod, facial expression, and handshake at the end is just, well awkward, or is in fact the greatest piece of acting I've ever seen.

― oscar bravo, Saturday, 10 April 2021 20:47 (three years ago) link

those ads make me wonder if making your agents look like complete twunts is a good idea (it's not).

the shrieking also unpleasant on the ears.

― koogs, Saturday, 10 April 2021 20:52 (three years ago) link

toksvig mansplaining vanilla.

the woman talking back to the peleton trainers as if they care.

― koogs, Tuesday, 20 April 2021 13:23 (three years ago) link

All peleton adverts are the worst TV adverts

― ignore the blue line (or something), Tuesday, 20 April 2021 13:32 (three years ago) link

https://www.ispot.tv/ad/d2B5/humira-crohns-colitis-not-always-where-i-needed-to-be

Must be an irreplaceable tone, because all she appears to sing is "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa".

― the body of a spider... (scampering alpaca), Tuesday, 20 April 2021 14:42 (three years ago) link

Dreams Beds proudly sponsors nights on 5USA.

cue family, two small kids, hunkering down in bed to watch TV.

this just before an episode of Special Victims Unit where a boy is sexually abused by his father and shoots up a school.

maybe they should rethink

― koogs, Sunday, 25 April 2021 10:19 (three years ago) link

lol

― Authoritarian Steaks (Tom D.), Sunday, 25 April 2021 10:56 (three years ago) link

There is an ad for Seat featuring a Mumford & Sons style cover of Walk On The Wild Side which makes me slightly mortified that I drive a Seat.

― A viking of frowns, (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 28 April 2021 13:55 (two years ago) link

Einstein in the bath. why?

archimedes i could understand...

― koogs, Thursday, 6 May 2021 19:59 (two years ago) link

He sounds like a Holgar Czukay promo 12" I owns..

― Mark G, Thursday, 6 May 2021 22:37 (two years ago) link

language problems aside, would anyone in 79ad ever refer to the date as 79ad?

― koogs, Wednesday, 12 May 2021 16:56 (two years ago) link

Plusnet is the new 118 118 in the sense of having an interminable long-running series of adverts that were shit as an idea and have been shit in practice from the very first one to the latest one and can't they just stop?

― Are Animated Dads Getting Hotter? (Tom D.), Wednesday, 12 May 2021 17:04 (two years ago) link

79AD was meaningless in 79AD but more importantly that lad is a cunt

No real human being has ever used the phrase "that's a low price"

― Chickpeas, Scamps and Beeves (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 12 May 2021 19:01 (two years ago) link

Re 79AD, yep I say that every time!

Also, if you whisper a question to Alexa, does she whisper the answer back to you?

I could try it, but... cbb.

― Mark G, Wednesday, 12 May 2021 19:11 (two years ago) link

> No real human being has ever used the phrase "that's a low price"

there's another one where someone asks about a neighbour's security camera by make, and that's similarly unnatural.

― koogs, Wednesday, 12 May 2021 20:07 (two years ago) link

It might be considered disproportionate to wish a violent death on you Matt Berry so I'll confine myself to hoping you lose your vocal cords gently but suddenly and forever

― Chickpeas, Scamps and Beeves (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 13 May 2021 21:54 (two years ago) link

two weeks pass...

the dr oetker school of bad lipsyncing has produced a surreal dj-in-a-bathroom toilet block advert that is a sight to behold.

― koogs, Tuesday, 1 June 2021 13:57 (two years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Dominos Yodel seems like it lasts several minutes.

― Heavy Messages (jed_), Friday, 25 June 2021 18:17 (two years ago) link

Sorry, Procter & Gamble, but I will never hear this as anything other than White Dung...

https://vimeo.com/499134257

― Are Animated Dads Getting Hotter? (Tom D.), Tuesday, 29 June 2021 09:45 (two years ago) link

Why does google advertise? Everyone knows what it is, everyone uses it. It just feels like rubbing it in.

― Daniel_Rf, Tuesday, 29 June 2021 09:51 (two years ago) link

this Verisure advert is absolute god tier

― Take me home, Jordan Rhodes (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 3 July 2021 08:44 (two years ago) link

the dinner party one is slightly more natural than the two guys on the doorstep one i alluded to upthread. but only slightly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-KI3AmZkaQ

"you should, it'll make you feel really safe"
"i'm gonna do it right now"
"nice one"

― koogs, Saturday, 3 July 2021 11:34 (two years ago) link

the dinner party one is very not natural unless there are circles i've been lucky not to move in

don't think it's going on anybody's showreel

― Take me home, Jordan Rhodes (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 3 July 2021 12:09 (two years ago) link

Yes, the (silent) acting by the men in the dinner party one is absolutely abysmal.

― Are Animated Dads Getting Hotter? (Tom D.), Saturday, 3 July 2021 13:05 (two years ago) link

so, new macd's advert has I Think We're Alone Now in it.

virg advert has 99 Red Balloons

i heard Snap yesterday on something

there's also a p power ad with dogs yapping to, of all thing, Nu Shooz' I Can't Wait.

things they can licence cheaply? all the current ad execs grew up in the 80s? can't decide.

(oh, apple using delta five as well)

― koogs, Wednesday, 7 July 2021 19:58 (two years ago) link

that last one slightly different, i guess

― koogs, Wednesday, 7 July 2021 19:58 (two years ago) link

virg advert has 99 Red Balloons

I have espoused the theory that Virgin's use of 99 Red Balloons is a secret signal that Branson is working on nuclear weaponry.

― emil.y, Wednesday, 7 July 2021 20:06 (two years ago) link

Congratulations McDonald's you've made me hate laughter

― ignore the blue line (or something), Thursday, 8 July 2021 09:05 (two years ago) link

... and people.

― Wouldn't disgrace a Michael Jackson (Tom D.), Thursday, 8 July 2021 09:20 (two years ago) link

worst thing about tv adverts at the moment: the streaming services where if you're watching in a browser and you switch to another tab, it pauses the ads.

― At Easter I had a fall. I don't know whether to laugh or cry (ledge), Thursday, 15 July 2021 08:49 (two years ago) link

Oh, and I don't listen to "commercial radio" much, but when I do, I hear Dermot et al doing the "termsandconditionsapply" speedlearn at the end of every advert...

― Mark G, Thursday, 15 July 2021 10:52 (two years ago) link

My partner has commercial radio on in the car and they make me want to die. Like, would saying "termsandconditionsapply" not suffice? Some of then seem to go on for minutes

― ignore the blue line (or something), Thursday, 15 July 2021 10:56 (two years ago) link

I think my least favourite genre are the insurance/saving/whatever ads which depict rapid stepwise aging of the protagonists. Aw, your little toddler is having kids of her own now, THINK ABOUT THAT, and here is your 65yo future self enigmatically thanking you on your doorstep for yr recent prudent financial decisions and then vanishing back into their timeline. There should be a TW for all of that content.

― Michael Jones, Thursday, 15 July 2021 12:37 (two years ago) link

ads which depict rapid stepwise aging of the protagonists

I'm sure I've mentioned these itt before. I hate them, or rather I hate the fact that advertisers keep making them because someone had the idea for them once and might have produced a good one, but copying and stealing ideas from each other is what ad agencies do.

― Wouldn't disgrace a Michael Jackson (Tom D.), Thursday, 15 July 2021 15:50 (two years ago) link

I just did a search, just to see how long we've been sick of this sort of ad... and you were already sick of it in 2017 :) Eventually child actors from the first wave of these inter-generational future-shock ads will be able to play their own parents in... oh forget it.

― Michael Jones, Thursday, 15 July 2021 16:09 (two years ago) link

I think this was probably mentioned already but the car ornament singing Pet Shop Boys.

― billstevejim, Thursday, 15 July 2021 18:32 (two years ago) link

nobody's singled out the Just Eat adverts with the voiceover that sounds like a phone-line option menu yet.

― koogs, Friday, 16 July 2021 16:28 (two years ago) link

Still far too many adverts with 'ordinary people' singing - out of tune, out of time etc, because obviously no ordinary person can sing.

― Wouldn't disgrace a Michael Jackson (Tom D.), Friday, 16 July 2021 17:21 (two years ago) link

I think I might be late to this one, but our Hulu has suddenly been inundated with that awful LG ad using the Ol Dirty Bastard song, but with people singing along, "baby I got your laundry". As egregious as the Bourdain AI voice, imo.

― a superficial sheeb of intelligence (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 16 July 2021 17:25 (two years ago) link

[in funereal monotone] ooooooooon the market

― your passion oozzes from the (ultros ultros-ghali), Friday, 16 July 2021 19:05 (two years ago) link

there must be a lot of money in hair loss and erectile dysfunction given the number of numan adverts i have to sit through.

just glad i don't have children i'd need to explain them to.

― koogs, Saturday, 17 July 2021 19:36 (two years ago) link

currently getting an almost fullhouse of terrible adverts in every break in episodes of SVU.

whiney kids trying to shame us 'dults on climate change whilst being co-founded by 'hobby-astronaut' bezos

diesel mis-selling (the new PPI)

horrible baby with a man's voice selling insurance

halifax ad with whiney oasis soundtrack

ubiquitous meerkats

ade edmundson trapped in the body of a dog

― koogs, Thursday, 22 July 2021 10:33 (two years ago) link

Yes to all of those but especially the obnoxious brats lecturing us on climate change, makes me want drive a coal powered SUV made entirely of non-degradable plastic. A new Verisure advert has appeared btw.

― Soundtracked by an eco jazz mixtape. (Tom D.), Thursday, 22 July 2021 10:54 (two years ago) link

my mum wouldn't win any parenting awards but was probably onto something when she said "little pigs should be seen and not heard"

― MoMsnet (calzino), Thursday, 22 July 2021 10:58 (two years ago) link

Inevitably, because ad agencies have never come across an idea they didn't think was worth flogging to death, there is now virtually a subgenre of irritating eco-kids adverts

― Soundtracked by an eco jazz mixtape. (Tom D.), Thursday, 22 July 2021 11:03 (two years ago) link

toadally money

― koogs, Friday, 23 July 2021 17:09 (two years ago) link

get bill bailey to look daft on the premise that a pc's startup speed is an important metric, the thing you do literally only once on any given day? why?

talk talk advert is pretty terrible terrible.

*and* the one with the suits you overcharging waiter.

i remember a time when there were interesting adverts, there's a companion thread for that, but it never gets bumped.

― koogs, Friday, 6 August 2021 11:38 (two years ago) link

I remember interesting adverts.

"3145???"

Brilliant...

― Mark G, Friday, 6 August 2021 21:58 (two years ago) link

Channel 4 playing their Paralympics advert in every single break is driving me nuts tbh.

― Soundtracked by an ecojazz mixtape (Tom D.), Monday, 9 August 2021 09:24 (two years ago) link

i like it but it's a long old thing

"it was designed to improve brushing. it ended up changing: everything". no, it didn't, it's still only a toothbrush.

current toyota ad has a virtual car that it says isn't available to buy. so is that an advert or a political statement? ditto the whiney eco-kids.

― koogs, Monday, 9 August 2021 10:18 (two years ago) link

I've got no problem with the Paralympics ad I just don't need to see it - and hear it - every 15 minutes.

― Soundtracked by an ecojazz mixtape (Tom D.), Monday, 9 August 2021 11:25 (two years ago) link

i only ever have Channel 4 on for The Simpsons and i feel like i've seen it about a thousand times

― Tumbledown Duck (Noodle Vague), Monday, 9 August 2021 12:32 (two years ago) link

The kid who takes a cake from the party, back for his sister.

I mean, it's been on for two years now, every crummy day!

What kind of advertising budgie do Mr Kipling have? Did somebody book a series insert, accidentally book it for five years, then quit?

― Mark G, Tuesday, 10 August 2021 09:49 (two years ago) link

That's his sister? I couldn't work it out. Also the fact that he's a slightly weird and creepy looking young boy is only emphasized by the fact that he appears to be wearing some kind of Star Trek uniform.

― Soundtracked by an ecojazz mixtape (Tom D.), Tuesday, 10 August 2021 11:03 (two years ago) link

the kid in the Mr Kipling advert looks like a motherfucker with some dark secrets

― Xia Nu del Vague (Noodle Vague), Monday, 14 October 2019 21:20 (one year ago) bookmarkflaglink

― Tumbledown Duck (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 10 August 2021 11:32 (two years ago) link

I thought HM.COM/KIDS was their recruitment page

― Tumbledown Duck (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 12 August 2021 17:14 (two years ago) link

Just throwing this out there but are Old El Paso adverts really fucking racist or what?

― pings and noodles (Noodle Vague), Monday, 23 August 2021 23:02 (two years ago) link

"Alexa, can you pause time?"

― koogs, Wednesday, 25 August 2021 19:20 (two years ago) link

Maybe I just stop watching TV, seems a fair price to avoid Just Eat

― pings and noodles (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 29 August 2021 21:31 (two years ago) link

Has Phillip Schofield got really bad gambling debts or what

― pings and noodles (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 2 September 2021 11:39 (two years ago) link

My 6-year-old says that the name of Just Eat is very rude, and he wouldn't eat if someone said that to him.

― fc_TEFH28mo (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 2 September 2021 11:50 (two years ago) link

when I'm playing Golf Rival on my phone sometimes I'll agree to click on an ad for golf club update points. And the one that keeps repeating is a Tik-Tok ad featuring that sea shanty singing postman twat. Keelhauling is too good for him.

― calzino, Thursday, 2 September 2021 12:01 (two years ago) link

I get that on my crossword app. Po-faced cunt

― pings and noodles (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 2 September 2021 12:23 (two years ago) link

Feels like daytime TV is just a constant stream of adverts about dying - life insurance, funerals, cremation, wills etc etc.

― "Bobby Gillespie" (ft. Heroin) (Tom D.), Thursday, 2 September 2021 12:37 (two years ago) link

Watching ITV hub and there's a stupid car dealership ad that sounds like Kate Bush at the start and every time I'm like 'what is this? oh yeah' and being an online thing it's the same ads every time for every break forever

― kinder, Thursday, 2 September 2021 15:02 (two years ago) link

> Watching ITV hub

you get what you deserve imo 8)

― koogs, Thursday, 2 September 2021 15:43 (two years ago) link

i know! it was Stephen, with Steve Coogan, who I can't take seriously doing that accent when it's not Alan Partridge doing a bit.

― kinder, Thursday, 2 September 2021 17:05 (two years ago) link

(oh, i was annoyed i missed that too)
((cool, it's repeated after midnight on monday, about 3 hours after episode 2))

― koogs, Thursday, 2 September 2021 17:17 (two years ago) link

I think it's all on itv hub?

― kinder, Thursday, 2 September 2021 17:31 (two years ago) link

ptui!

― koogs, Thursday, 2 September 2021 17:45 (two years ago) link

Camila, the Amazon shill: "starting again in your mid thirties is hard"

Cheers, I was already depressed

― cheesons to be rearful (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 5 September 2021 20:41 (two years ago) link

― lumen (esby), Wednesday, May 6, 2020 3:26 AM (one year ago) bookmarkflaglink

okay I'm gonna admit it. this bothers me. the original "Jake from State Farm" ad aired like three billion times. it was played so much during NFL games that it's permanently seared into my brain. State Farm apparently loved it so much that they even brought it back after a year off the air. and then a few years later "oh now instead of being some frumpy 3rd shift office drone he's this super handsome dude that everyone loves". its not the same character. they could've called him anything else. I know this shit shouldn't bother me but again, the original ad was played so fucking much

― frogbs, Monday, 13 September 2021 03:38 (two years ago) link

the de-facto american version of this thread is:
worst commercials on television

― koogs, Monday, 13 September 2021 09:33 (two years ago) link

I will never attain satori until I can stop dreaming about a log trap pounding into the Vinted beardo's face over and over and over

― that which does not chungus makes us chonger (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 18 September 2021 10:07 (two years ago) link

you probably think VISA is a credit card company.. it IS you dissembling fucks.

― oscar bravo, Saturday, 18 September 2021 12:03 (two years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBKfMRk1pBg

― xzanfar, Saturday, 18 September 2021 14:54 (two years ago) link

anything with Snoop tbh

― Number None, Tuesday, 21 September 2021 08:08 (two years ago) link

Oh, I see that Captain Birdseye has stopped taking his young relatives out on his boat, and is actually going out to net some Cod.

Well, walking around the boat while actual trawlermen do work, anyway..

― Mark G, Tuesday, 21 September 2021 10:00 (two years ago) link

studio.co.uk (who?) get added to my shitlist for first christmas advert i see in any given year, ironic or not. IT'S SEPTEMBER FFS.

― koogs, Tuesday, 21 September 2021 10:02 (two years ago) link

I noticed the other week that one of the Freeview movie channels was trailing a Christmas films only channel to start in September, might already be up and running.

― Are You Still in Love With Me, Klas-Göran? (Tom D.), Tuesday, 21 September 2021 11:42 (two years ago) link

I mean, don't these people ever look at viewing figures for the shite they churn out?

― Are You Still in Love With Me, Klas-Göran? (Tom D.), Tuesday, 21 September 2021 11:43 (two years ago) link

yeah, what used to be Sony Movies Classic (now Great! something) has been doing that for a few years now. not even good christmas movies, normally tv movie garbage. starts thursday. ("Elf-Man - An elf, left behind by Santa to rescue the Harper family from a terrible Christmas, rediscovers his speical powers. (2012)

stars Wee-Man from jackass...

― koogs, Tuesday, 21 September 2021 13:35 (two years ago) link

two weeks pass...

the Verisure adverts have a new episode - same couple whose neighbours where burgled (they cam in through the garden...) but this time with added verisure installation guy.

it would appear they can't afford more than 2 speaking parts ever as the wife says nothing.

it's like the oxo family, only with security cameras.

― koogs, Friday, 8 October 2021 12:17 (two years ago) link

The wife says nothing and looks slightly deranged.

― Starmer: "Let the children boogie, let all the children boogie." (Tom D.), Friday, 8 October 2021 12:39 (two years ago) link

Surprised no-one has mentioned so far that the Go Compare guy is more annoying as himself than he ever was as the most annoying character in adverts.

― Starmer: "Let the children boogie, let all the children boogie." (Tom D.), Saturday, 9 October 2021 22:37 (two years ago) link

if him and Kris Marshall walked into an estate pub - I wonder which one would get glassed first!

― calzino, Saturday, 9 October 2021 22:59 (two years ago) link

if i was in there the Go Compare lad would have plenty of time to escape while the coppers turned up to drag me off the bleeding corpse of the other cunt

― look on my guacs, ye mighty, and dis pear (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 9 October 2021 23:20 (two years ago) link

(go compare guy) sung "Glory Glory Tottenham Hotspur" at the last game at White Hart Lane. He reprised the song at the opening of Spurs' new stadium

I've not knowingly seen him in anything since that ad, but it seems some Spurs fans have.

― calzino, Saturday, 9 October 2021 23:46 (two years ago) link

I actually did see Kris Marshall in our 'local' Tea garden with his fam (mum&dad) a few years ago. That won't happen again (Tea Garden closed down)

What ad did he irritate in, or is the loathing a general thing?

― Mark G, Sunday, 10 October 2021 07:30 (two years ago) link

He symbolizes everything that disgusts me. Obviousness.

― look on my guacs, ye mighty, and dis pear (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 10 October 2021 07:36 (two years ago) link

Semi convinced Kris Marshall, Dan Walker and Jake Humphries are the same guy and a particularly loathsome one at that.

― oscar bravo, Sunday, 10 October 2021 21:37 (two years ago) link

Mark G at 8:30 10 Oct 21
I actually did see Kris Marshall in our 'local' Tea garden with his fam (mum&dad) a few years ago.

"he never mentioned his family, if he's an orphan I apologise"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3yTHjQRrVs

― edited to reflect developments which occurred (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Sunday, 10 October 2021 21:58 (two years ago) link

I am increasingly troubled by the radio 2 TV advert where they dress up the presenters as bad family photos, they have gone for retro laffs and ended up making some extremely unfunny, fairly cursed images. Every time I see it, it looks worse.

― edited to reflect developments which occurred (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Sunday, 10 October 2021 22:06 (two years ago) link

Lindor are now also on my 'christmas adverts in october' shitlist.

― koogs, Monday, 11 October 2021 08:50 (two years ago) link

"get you sold"?

get you fucked

― maybe these baps are legends (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 23 October 2021 12:58 (two years ago) link

"I'm only six..."

So shut the fuck up, you little prick.

― Starmer: "Let the children boogie, let all the children boogie." (Tom D.), Sunday, 24 October 2021 14:01 (two years ago) link

still convinced that lad's older than 6

― maybe these baps are legends (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 24 October 2021 14:05 (two years ago) link

Yes, lying about his age and trying to make the rest of us feel guilty.

― Starmer: "Let the children boogie, let all the children boogie." (Tom D.), Sunday, 24 October 2021 14:06 (two years ago) link

So I just seen an advert for a Motorhead album, which was very strange cos who does tv adverts for albums in 2021? and the voice guy sounded like Tommy Vance, and I'm like I'm sure Tommy Vance is dead, so I Googled Tommy Vance and yes Tommy Vance has been dead for several years, so somebody has made a TV advert for a Motorhead album and got somebody to do a Tommy Vance impersonation on the voice-over, also now I know Tommy Vance's birth name and it is very funny

― maybe these baps are legends (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 30 October 2021 22:53 (two years ago) link

so many names, and none of them is Thomas

― edited to reflect developments which occurred (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Saturday, 30 October 2021 22:59 (two years ago) link

Why were all 60s pop DJs so posh I wonder?

― maybe these baps are legends (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 30 October 2021 23:01 (two years ago) link

I mean also why were they all nonces but maybe this is connected

― maybe these baps are legends (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 30 October 2021 23:03 (two years ago) link

I've just noticed that the terrible, sexist, creepily cgi-looking advert for Aunt Bessie's roast potatoes has a "based on a true story" caption at the beginning, lol ffs it's just some voice over lad saying he liked his nan's Sunday dinner

― maybe these baps are legends (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 30 October 2021 23:58 (two years ago) link

Yeah, the radio station he joined had pre-recorded idents for the real Tommy Vance who dropped out,so that was the condition of employment for.. him.

― Mark G, Sunday, 31 October 2021 11:37 (two years ago) link

belatedly noticed that they've changed up the scenario in the ad for direct prescriptions with the hen picked/useless husband and disapproving wife couple. this time he's mixed up her prescription with that of a mates wife after going for a quick pint on his way from collecting it, the useless fucker. last time he made a mistake whilst distracted by an article about collectable toy tin soldiers or some such idiocy. kinda love him tbh.

― oscar bravo, Sunday, 31 October 2021 14:19 (two years ago) link

John Lewis Christmas advert pic.twitter.com/E9QYl9johM
— HappyToast ★ (@IamHappyToast) November 4, 2021

― Number None, Thursday, 4 November 2021 11:19 (two years ago) link

I'll save meself the trouble, play some Leonard Cohen and think about toys for 3 minutes

― maybe these baps are legends (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 4 November 2021 12:09 (two years ago) link

(tweet is not the real JLCA)

it's november so more people are getting into the xmas adverts. philip schofield can't need money *that* badly, surely? (we buy any car and craft gin club, can't decide which is the worse)

― koogs, Thursday, 4 November 2021 13:40 (two years ago) link

far too early for the Spector Christmas album soundtrack though

― koogs, Thursday, 4 November 2021 21:23 (two years ago) link

someone else who probably doesn't need the money - grace jones

― koogs, Thursday, 4 November 2021 22:29 (two years ago) link

Guess this tread is mostly UK centric, I expected this revive to be about those horrific VW commercials with all the people singing that dumb song about what they are doing that makes me want to claw my ears off.

― a superficial sheeb of intelligence (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Thursday, 4 November 2021 22:44 (two years ago) link

The Grace Jones one is a bit o_0

― Des Weerelds Dool-om-berg ont-doold op Dool-in-bergh (Tom D.), Thursday, 4 November 2021 22:54 (two years ago) link

(US version of this thread is here: worst commercials on television )

― koogs, Thursday, 4 November 2021 23:03 (two years ago) link

new verisure alarms advert! this time the women talk whilst the men stand around gormless.

"yes, it gets dark so early these days"

"we activate it every night, and when we go out"

― koogs, Monday, 15 November 2021 13:28 (two years ago) link

and should i know the julie-andrews-alike on the m&s advert?

― koogs, Monday, 15 November 2021 13:29 (two years ago) link

Don't think so. The Verisure tradition of only two people being allowed (paid?) to talk in an advert continues.

― When Smeato Met Moaty (Tom D.), Monday, 15 November 2021 14:13 (two years ago) link

following the usual trajectory+ snoop dogg has been replaced with a puppet.

+see also Iggy Pop

― koogs, Friday, 19 November 2021 22:29 (two years ago) link

four weeks pass...

my dad used to be a junglist...

― koogs, Saturday, 18 December 2021 15:19 (two years ago) link

Well, you'd better make a tribute to him..

― Mark G, Saturday, 18 December 2021 15:54 (two years ago) link

good thing i've got fast internet

― koogs, Saturday, 18 December 2021 15:58 (two years ago) link

That Xmas one with "because nothing's stopping us" always struck me as pretty irresponsible but I'm kind of surprised they haven't pulled it yet.

― emil.y, Saturday, 18 December 2021 16:06 (two years ago) link

Absolutely!

― When Smeato Met Moaty (Tom D.), Sunday, 19 December 2021 12:39 (two years ago) link

the guy with the big teeth trying to make 'cinch' a verb when it already is one that means something different

― koogs, Tuesday, 28 December 2021 12:44 (two years ago) link

All Lenor adverts.

― I Can't See Gervais In My Mind (Tom D.), Saturday, 8 January 2022 11:15 (two years ago) link

there's a new verisure advert, but it has no qualities worth mentioning.

but watching Big Match Revisited, 80s football, there are pitch side adverts for manhole covers, tyres and tapes (cassettes i guess). and Dickie Dirt's "for PM and Sunday" whatever that means. no car adverts, no airline adverts, nothing that i saw on Everton / Hull City before that.

― koogs, Saturday, 8 January 2022 20:56 (two years ago) link

Is this the new Verisure advert where the non-speaking partners (the wives, in this case) are barely seen, I think you see the top of their heads? I think Verisure are slowly moving towards something like Beckett's "Not I", where the screen is taken up by a giant close-up of a mouth endlessly blabbering to itself about household alarm systems.

― I Can't See Gervais In My Mind (Tom D.), Saturday, 8 January 2022 21:01 (two years ago) link

the second match has Townsend Thoresen adverts (car ferries) and, yes, airline adverts, if British Caledonian Airways counts. also motor oil, tv hire, Stanley tools, Hoover, and a local car radio place by the looks

― koogs, Saturday, 8 January 2022 21:08 (two years ago) link

https://www.lbbonline.com/news/vhi-healthcare-doctor-learns-tiktok-dance-to-make-patient-feel-at-ease

― Saxophone Of Futility (Michael B), Sunday, 9 January 2022 18:02 (two years ago) link

apparently that VHI advert has been pulled indefinitely due to the level of vitriol it's provoked

― Number None, Monday, 10 January 2022 09:41 (two years ago) link

If Internet ads count that Audible one about going on a trip to Westeros and visiting the moon drives me up the wall. I resent how well produced it is and I resent the implicit "you can't go anywhere because of the rona, why not stay home and give Bezos some more cash".

― Daniel_Rf, Monday, 10 January 2022 11:16 (two years ago) link

(I do have adblock but not on the ancient ipod I use to halfwatch twitch)

― Daniel_Rf, Monday, 10 January 2022 11:17 (two years ago) link

Adverts for apples? Sure why not. But who holds their apples vertically when eating them?

― two sleeps till brooklyn (ledge), Monday, 10 January 2022 14:03 (two years ago) link

continuing my 'adverts seen around the pitch during the repeats of 1981 football matches on itv4' subset

Danepak Bacon
Give Book Tokens For Christmas
Lemsip

― koogs, Monday, 17 January 2022 15:45 (two years ago) link

sneaky-tarian is not a thing
deluxe-tarian is not a thing
spicy-tarian is not a thing

― koogs, Monday, 17 January 2022 18:39 (two years ago) link

That bugs the shit out of me too, but I guess calling people arians is a homophone too far these days.

― Long enough attention span for a Stephen Bissette blu-ray extra (aldo), Monday, 17 January 2022 18:43 (two years ago) link

Richard Ayoade eat a dick straight up

― Reader, I buried him (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 30 January 2022 08:59 (two years ago) link

Why oh why are these people trying to make the portmanteau 'housebarrasment' a thing?

― ignore the blue line (or something), Sunday, 30 January 2022 15:02 (two years ago) link

Can't think of a worse misuse of the English language than 'housebarrasment'? Cazoo yeah you can!

― Someone left a space telescope out in the rain (Tom D.), Sunday, 30 January 2022 15:25 (two years ago) link

Just, where's the effort?

― ignore the blue line (or something), Sunday, 30 January 2022 17:11 (two years ago) link

Spend more money on yr kitchen otherwise face reduction in your social standing

― Mark G, Sunday, 30 January 2022 17:15 (two years ago) link

Saw this ad for Valentine's cards on TV recently. Horrible.

https://www.adsoftheworld.com/media/film/thortful_dolphin

― Eyeball Kicks, Tuesday, 1 February 2022 11:36 (two years ago) link

Yes, it's just disturbing, but this one is even more nightmarish if anything:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNAQzVAmJ8o

― Someone left a space telescope out in the rain (Tom D.), Tuesday, 1 February 2022 11:44 (two years ago) link

Fucking hell, imagine the brainstorm session that led to that.

― Eyeball Kicks, Tuesday, 1 February 2022 12:28 (two years ago) link

"delish"

no no no no no

― Reader, I buried him (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 1 February 2022 12:44 (two years ago) link

I can't hear the strapline to this company's adverts as anything other than Bastards of Fish.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lA93y7aUte4

― Bastards of Fish (Tom D.), Saturday, 5 February 2022 12:32 (two years ago) link

is that a Steven Hartley voiceover? Talk fucking Sport!

― calzino, Saturday, 5 February 2022 12:47 (two years ago) link

Steven Hartley & Shipley Rebel

― Bastards of Fish (Tom D.), Saturday, 5 February 2022 13:49 (two years ago) link

I'm starting to think Verisure's use of non-professional actors is an aesthetic choice in a nod to Pasolini

― Reader, I buried him (Noodle Vague), Monday, 7 February 2022 16:16 (two years ago) link

Oh while I'm on I hope the voiceover person for Tombola gargles hydrochloric acid soon

― Reader, I buried him (Noodle Vague), Monday, 7 February 2022 16:28 (two years ago) link

Right, let's do Bingo, Paddy Power style....

― Mark G, Monday, 7 February 2022 19:21 (two years ago) link

Never mind Weight Watchers Corden you need to go on a program to lose cuntishness

― I have a voulez-vous? with death (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 15 February 2022 16:30 (two years ago) link

GambleAware adverts <<< gambling adverts <<< other adverts and there's one every break, seemingly.

who is the bloke with the big voice and odd cadence in the paddy power(?) advert? am i meant to know him? NEVER BET WHEN YOU'RE ANGRY.

new Verisure advert as well, same as all the others. a woman talks to a man, at least.

― koogs, Wednesday, 16 February 2022 16:46 (two years ago) link

Matt Chapman? Horse racing pundit for ITV and sky sports and all round loudmouth. If like me you do watch a bit of the racing you'll be familiar with the paddy power talking horses ads that they play every break, now they're really bad

― ignore the blue line (or something), Wednesday, 16 February 2022 17:18 (two years ago) link

three weeks pass...

> but the Hey Car white guy rapping / miming in a car is probably my least favourite ad right now. (March 2021)

they are still showing this exact same advert in every ad break over a year later.

― koogs, Tuesday, 15 March 2022 14:23 (two years ago) link

four weeks pass...

i do actually wish I'd bought a thinner tv

― koogs, Tuesday, 12 April 2022 20:07 (two years ago) link

I think it's Virgin Mobile using an awful cover of Lust for Life with the lyric changed to Love for Life for some stupid reason

Wankers

― Number One shlong in Devon (Noodle Vague), Monday, 18 April 2022 20:40 (two years ago) link

am i meant to know or care about the women and her kids in the fairy liquitabs adverts? the click clack woman.

― koogs, Wednesday, 20 April 2022 21:36 (two years ago) link

People are worried about being able to afford food yet they are encouraging us to use deliveroo for pints of milk.

New verisure ad doesn't use the phrase 'i feel safer already'

― koogs, Sunday, 24 April 2022 21:21 (two years ago) link

am i meant to know or care about the women and her kids in the fairy liquitabs adverts? the click clack woman.

She is a model and "influencer" who is married to one of the Made in Chelsea people.

― trishyb, Sunday, 24 April 2022 21:28 (two years ago) link

They show Alabama state tourism ads on tv often with the local news, usually outlining some big Bobby Jones series of golf courses. A newer one of these ads definitely had me doing a serious eyebrow raise was them selling making a visit to history to go to the Edmund Pettus Bridge and shows the 16th Street Baptist Church AND oh yeah you can still go play some golf at one of our 'Bobby Jones' resorts. Anything for a buck...

― earlnash, Sunday, 24 April 2022 23:44 (two years ago) link

three weeks pass...

OMG, new Verisure ad with three speaking parts!

― Doodles Diamond (Tom D.), Tuesday, 17 May 2022 09:56 (one year ago) link

what do they talk about?

― ignore the blue line (or something), Tuesday, 17 May 2022 09:58 (one year ago) link

I think it's alarms.

― Doodles Diamond (Tom D.), Tuesday, 17 May 2022 10:02 (one year ago) link

'the match' is mentioned, it's just about to start. and he sets the alarm in 'the shop' using his phone.

― koogs, Tuesday, 17 May 2022 10:37 (one year ago) link

turkey appears to have it's tourism advert game sorted.

current bugbear is the way they reduce the wreckless eric song to like 8 words at the end of that other advert, a line and a half.

― koogs, Tuesday, 17 May 2022 10:40 (one year ago) link

i can't remember which company is doing the current sponsor slots on ITV2 for Family Guy/American Dad but they feature two of the most killworthy actors i've seen in a long long time

― what doesn't kill me makes me Hongroe (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 17 May 2022 11:36 (one year ago) link

they've changed the most recent verisure tv ad. now ends with 'should i get one?' 'do it!' where it used to be a more wistful 'i should get one...'

― koogs, Wednesday, 25 May 2022 08:27 (one year ago) link

two weeks pass...

If I was a charity I would simply not make a TV advert making my organization look like a bunch of sanctimonious cunts

― Armenian Idol (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 12 June 2022 16:44 (one year ago) link

Hmm, are they going for "governmental take-up"?

― Mark G, Sunday, 12 June 2022 18:58 (one year ago) link

> If I was a charity I would simply not make a TV advert making my organization look like a bunch of sanctimonious cunts

donkeys?

was that a new verisure advert? they really do crank them out.

― koogs, Monday, 13 June 2022 13:43 (one year ago) link

RSPCA was my trigger but there are lots of very bad ones

― Armenian Idol (Noodle Vague), Monday, 13 June 2022 16:40 (one year ago) link

And the best thing is.....

― Mark G, Monday, 13 June 2022 21:35 (one year ago) link

Thorvald, Wild’s polar bear hero, discovers his new girlfriend Sarah has a ‘climate change kink’ when he walks in on her watching a film about melting ice caps and having a moment of self love. He’s taken aback but, having promised not to kink shame, Thorvald indulges Sarah by listening to her struggles about doing the right thing for the planet, from sometimes leaving the tap running while she cleans her teeth, to not rinsing her recycling and even, eating the occasional out-of-season strawberry. He even gets into it himself, with some single-use plastic-related role play.

― conrad, Friday, 24 June 2022 13:52 (one year ago) link

He's a polar bear!

― Mark G, Sunday, 26 June 2022 10:36 (one year ago) link

all tv ads for subscription services that are aired on terrestrial tv can get in the sea, but especially the current paramount / coffee delivery one.

the woman hiding in the wigwam in the life insurance advert who gives her age as "50" has obviously had a hard life because she looks at least 10 years older than that.

― koogs, Wednesday, 29 June 2022 16:14 (one year ago) link

i thought you meant Brit Box and i was gonna wholeheartedly agree

― bury my heart in wounded kieth (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 29 June 2022 17:34 (one year ago) link

https://news.stv.tv/scotland/water-related-deaths-in-scotland-at-highest-point-in-last-five-years

... and yet...

https://abancommercials.com/uk-ad/33357/highland-spring-commercial-be-natural-self-advert

― Eavis Has Left the Building (Tom D.), Wednesday, 29 June 2022 18:48 (one year ago) link

OK, it's 30 degrees outside and I've just seen an advert for Christmas trees.

― Eavis Has Left the Building (Tom D.), Sunday, 10 July 2022 10:20 (one year ago) link

LEMONS

alternatively,

SHARE MY CLOGS

― koogs, Sunday, 10 July 2022 11:45 (one year ago) link

OTM x2

― Eavis Has Left the Building (Tom D.), Sunday, 10 July 2022 11:50 (one year ago) link

There's an Irish ad about road tolls that I only see when I'm watching stuff on All 4, and I genuinely can't understand what's happening in it, except that it makes paying your toll through the app seem incredibly complicated and scary, which is probably not the intention.
Oh, it's also really sexist, but that's a given.

― trishyb, Sunday, 10 July 2022 13:32 (one year ago) link

It might have been too much to expect a Shetland accent but couldn't they have least hired someone who can do a convincing Scottish accent?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfScbqZokLg

― Tom D: I was in the army (Tom D.), Friday, 22 July 2022 07:06 (one year ago) link

new verisure ad is borderline incoherent given she's talking on the phone as she's rushing out the door.

elsewhere: who wears jeans to yoga classes?

― koogs, Saturday, 23 July 2022 18:28 (one year ago) link

50? Aye, right.

https://piped.mha.fi/watch?v=CvlXSq2CAbI

― Tom D: panel beater, bouncer and tree surgeon (Tom D.), Sunday, 24 July 2022 09:53 (one year ago) link

another one for the "who they?" pile, the Microsoft Evo advert.

― koogs, Sunday, 7 August 2022 02:12 (one year ago) link

i'd like to remove Stephen Fry's vocal cords with something blunt and rusty

― seo layer (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 7 August 2022 11:12 (one year ago) link

Meanwhile Diane Morgan is the new Jane Horrocks.

― She's got a dog in Ballymena (Tom D.), Sunday, 7 August 2022 11:24 (one year ago) link

there's one where a young woman and her grandmother are talking over zoom, the granddaughter just passed a job interview and is being congratulated by the grandmother, the granddaughter says something about "it must run in the family!" But the grandmother has a Welsh accent and the granddaughter has a Polish accent, so I'm just left wondering what history this family have, her son/daughter must have moved to Poland in the very early 90s and settled down there? But they seem too close for that. Then at the end of the advert they just sit there grinning silently at the camera for 10 seconds.
I have seen this 100+ times on TV and pre-roll on YouTube and cannot remember what it is advertising.

― link.exposing.politically (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Sunday, 7 August 2022 12:11 (one year ago) link

the pet charity adverts, someone has a strange sense of humour. there's a cat with one eye, they called it odin. there's another that was found inside a wall and they've called that one mccavity.

if my auntie bought me a magnifying glass for my birthday and i was older than say 4 years old I'd be livid.

― koogs, Saturday, 13 August 2022 21:59 (one year ago) link

Meerkats and Go Compare guy have not only outstayed their welcome, but the newer ads are actually worse. Like when meerkat Sergei has the blue cyborg eye thingy coz he's now AUTO Sergei, or when the Go Compare singer is talking to the actual tenor who plays him, and/or he's dressed up as a woman who is supposedly his wife.

― Grandpont Genie, Sunday, 14 August 2022 00:47 (one year ago) link

fuck this jingle

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksYtkbhPE0s

― We were clothed, except for Caan, who was naked. Don't know why. (Neanderthal), Sunday, 14 August 2022 00:48 (one year ago) link

It's 118 118 all over again. Also there's the Plusnet ads, I have no idea why they've persisted with them when they've never been interesting or entertaining or amusing even for a second.

― Buckfast At Tiffany's (Tom D.), Sunday, 14 August 2022 10:43 (one year ago) link

Cunts dancing in charity lottery ads.
That's the post.

― seo layer (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 27 August 2022 11:57 (one year ago) link

"Hi my name's Jane and my diet plan makes your eyes go wonky so you look slightly mad"

― seo layer (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 27 August 2022 11:58 (one year ago) link

"And here's the best bit"

― Mark G, Saturday, 27 August 2022 12:45 (one year ago) link

two weeks pass...

gambling adverts now have been regulated to the point that they look like anti-gambling PSAs, reminds me of the glossy magazine cigarette ads in the 90s where it was just an artsy photo with the colours of the brand and a huge anti-smoking notice underneath

― link.exposing.politically (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 13 September 2022 21:35 (one year ago) link

(this is all good, adverts still bad though)

― link.exposing.politically (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 13 September 2022 21:36 (one year ago) link

seems like life insurance and funeral services are being downplayed recently, which has left a gap for payday loans ads to fill.

the mattress wars continue. i think one of them is now offering a 200 day trial.

"how was the dreaded school?" every 15 minutes is starting to grate.

― koogs, Wednesday, 14 September 2022 00:58 (one year ago) link

Stop lying Myleene Klass you're not busy

― feudal vague (Noodle Vague), Friday, 23 September 2022 16:42 (one year ago) link

Medical negligence, it's one of the worst kinds of negligence...

― koogs, Saturday, 1 October 2022 19:18 (one year ago) link

it's one of the worst kinds of medical too

― or something, Saturday, 1 October 2022 20:31 (one year ago) link

Can someone please send some money to Nu Shooz so they don't need to agree to this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6ElALjIHaA

― link.exposing.politically (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Sunday, 9 October 2022 12:49 (one year ago) link

there was a spate of similar things in 2021 - Worst TV adverts of the moment

― koogs, Sunday, 9 October 2022 13:16 (one year ago) link

Xpost why is that "age restricted" ?

(I have seen it, yes.

― Mark G, Sunday, 9 October 2022 13:36 (one year ago) link

i know christmas club adverts aren't really christmas adverts, but if you're going to be playing wizzard in the background they might as well be.

(it's only 2 weeks until they start in earnest, i'm only kidding myself)

― koogs, Friday, 14 October 2022 14:56 (one year ago) link

really moving ad for the Nationwide at the moment where a normal woman discusses her personal fears during the current cost of living crisis with her friends

EXCEPT IT'S A FUCKING ADVERT FOR A FUCKING PRODUCT AND MASS POVERTY IS REAL YOU CAPITALIST CUNTS DIE DIE DIE

― saigo no ice cream (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 19 October 2022 21:13 (one year ago) link

really moving ad for the Nationwide at the moment where a normal woman discusses her personal fears during the current cost of living crisis with her friends

EXCEPT IT'S A FUCKING ADVERT FOR A FUCKING PRODUCT AND MASS POVERTY IS REAL YOU CAPITALIST CUNTS DIE DIE DIE

Couldn’t have said it better! This cursed ad shows up constantly on bt sport’s mlb coverage and I see it about 20 times a game. It’s so cursed. The women all wearing gentle pastel colours, the sunny sky, the blowing hair, the relatability- you think it’s a tampon ad if you’re not paying attention and then it’s like NATIONWIDE CARES IF YOU CAN’T PAY YOUR BILLS. The worst.

― barry sito (gyac), Saturday, 22 October 2022 21:26 (one year ago) link

Actually, while I’m here, the most cursed repeat ads on BTSport when they’re looping the same five ads over and over again to block out American ads:

Mason Mount spot/any football team ad

I can’t find this online which is good as I think it edges me nearer to a brain aneurysm. MM/or the team/player who’s the subject taps the screen, talks directly to the viewer while being filmed from below, the cutting is fast to disguise the fact that it looks like someone’s kid knocked it up. Generic music too.

Pixel 7 ad

I have an iPhone. I’m not going to change that any time soon.

McDelivery ads

It’s amazing how much you can grow to hate I Think We’re Alone Now and Hungry Eyes.

ads for the channel I’m already watching

A whole atrocity of their own!

― barry sito (gyac), Saturday, 22 October 2022 21:33 (one year ago) link

Quest goes one better and does trails for the show you're currently watching

― koogs, Saturday, 22 October 2022 21:42 (one year ago) link

Oh yeah I watch stuff on Now when I do the dishes. Now knows that I watch House of the Dragon on there and yet serves me up ads for it anyway.

― barry sito (gyac), Saturday, 22 October 2022 21:45 (one year ago) link

"and my lot know how to party"

cut to tribe of ungainly white zombies wobbling side to side in an ice cold suburban lounge

― saigo no ice cream (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 27 October 2022 11:11 (one year ago) link

Yes, the same guy is in one of the Verisure ads too.

I hate all of those ads for I think it's accountancy software, or some other boring shit aimed a small businesses, with annoying tiny people bullying people into buying their incomprehensible product. Especially the one where the woman says, "I don't like tech". Has anyone ever said, "I don't like tech" irl? About some piece of software?

― Fronted by a bearded Phil Collins (Tom D.), Thursday, 27 October 2022 12:12 (one year ago) link

Yeah I hate that woman a lot, sorry I'm a misogynist now

― saigo no ice cream (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 27 October 2022 12:18 (one year ago) link

Just seen some other home security think called SimplySafe, hopefully they can get into it with Verisure and kill each other

― saigo no ice cream (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 27 October 2022 12:30 (one year ago) link

xxp reminds me of this Irish TV “classic”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l74083zafAM

― barry sito (gyac), Thursday, 27 October 2022 12:55 (one year ago) link

I wish more commercials were like this beeper commercial from yesteryear

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2QNuDUTocE

― stank viola (Neanderthal), Thursday, 27 October 2022 13:10 (one year ago) link

it's Christmas, people are dancing on the moon again before suddenly dressing as matadors for reasons i can't discern.

― koogs, Friday, 4 November 2022 20:12 (one year ago) link

Tesco: lol politics

Yeah, great work kids

― dogdick solanke (Noodle Vague), Friday, 11 November 2022 13:13 (one year ago) link

"who said electrification can't spark excitement when unplugged?"

nobody. literally nobody has ever said this, it makes no sense, wtf is up with car adverts?

― dogdick solanke (Noodle Vague), Friday, 11 November 2022 16:35 (one year ago) link

remembering the 90s when all car commercials were "hey there's a woman in a bikini sunbathing on the hood, women will dig you if you buy this car", now it's a bunch of random gobbledegook featuring some old classic rock song they licensed to use.

from sexism to incomprehensibility

― Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Friday, 11 November 2022 16:38 (one year ago) link

In the online ads category (at least I think they don't do these on telly) - Uber, the ship has long sailed on trying to trick people into thinking your drivers are treated anywhere near fairly. I will not interrupt my 4 hour video on a failed theme park to sign up for your fleet no matter how many times you try me.

― Daniel_Rf, Friday, 11 November 2022 16:49 (one year ago) link

That John Lewis ad really doing an “ironic” acoustic version of All The Small Things huh

― after several days on “the milk,” (gyac), Friday, 11 November 2022 17:09 (one year ago) link

lol i've seen that ad and hadn't a clue what it was for tbh

― dogdick solanke (Noodle Vague), Friday, 11 November 2022 17:39 (one year ago) link

all ads for games that have "not actual in game footage" disclaimers on them. what are you showing me then? why would I be interested in these images?

― oscar bravo, Friday, 11 November 2022 21:02 (one year ago) link

Generally it's cut scenes I think? I agree that still sucks

― dogdick solanke (Noodle Vague), Friday, 11 November 2022 21:08 (one year ago) link

Remember when they'd sell dolls in the 90s and show them walking and write "doll does not walk" below in disclaimers

― Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Friday, 11 November 2022 21:13 (one year ago) link

God the number of rubbish board games we got as kids that were nothing like the TV ads

― dogdick solanke (Noodle Vague), Friday, 11 November 2022 21:14 (one year ago) link

Mouse Trap,christ

― Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Friday, 11 November 2022 22:13 (one year ago) link

i saved up my pocket money for weeks for that load of shit

― Burnt Norton 360 (Noodle Vague), Friday, 11 November 2022 22:18 (one year ago) link

Sea Monkeys

― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Friday, 11 November 2022 22:22 (one year ago) link

it was a hard lesson in life seeing something that shone out like a diamond on the pages of Kays catalogue and then later taking in the horrible realisation that you've wasted months of time, hotly anticipating a piece of shit.

― calzino, Friday, 11 November 2022 22:56 (one year ago) link

I will not interrupt my 4 hour video on a failed theme park to sign up for your fleet no matter how many times you try me.

Jenny Nicholson on Evermore, right?? Can't believe I watched (and enjoyed) all four hours of that.

― emil.y, Friday, 11 November 2022 23:17 (one year ago) link

two weeks pass...

dear Jason Donovan, when you say you hope you're knocking on my door next, you're saying it to everybody watching that advert, which kind of defeats the purpose of a lottery you fucking clown

― this display name blocked by FIFA (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 26 November 2022 09:31 (one year ago) link

Hi Dior, not sure still having a wife beater doing his sad rock and roll fantasy shit is a good look for your brand but it's your choice I guess

― economic Maguire (Noodle Vague), Friday, 2 December 2022 17:49 (one year ago) link

I’m so sick of seeing that cunt atm

― bit high, bitch (gyac), Friday, 2 December 2022 17:50 (one year ago) link

Daisy daisy daisy daisy... stop fucking ruining Suicide!

― Oh wouldn't it be rubbery? (Tom D.), Friday, 2 December 2022 19:08 (one year ago) link

oh, heard another inexplicable 80s song used by an advert - life is life

― koogs, Friday, 2 December 2022 20:01 (one year ago) link

rip diego

― oscar bravo, Friday, 2 December 2022 20:09 (one year ago) link

Jesus, how much pickle is she putting on that sandwich?

― koogs, Saturday, 10 December 2022 21:21 (one year ago) link

and even after 100 viewings I'm not sure what the 3rd bloke on the current verisure advert says. "is it (something)?"

― koogs, Saturday, 10 December 2022 21:22 (one year ago) link

i'm guessing everyone involved in the nespresso advert is saving their best work for something else.

i didn't know you had dandruf?

― koogs, Thursday, 22 December 2022 13:29 (one year ago) link

it's 2023 and you've all been saying 'hyundai' wrong for years...

― koogs, Tuesday, 3 January 2023 02:59 (one year ago) link

... and Škoda.

― Aw naw, no' an Antonioni one oan noo an' aw (Tom D.), Tuesday, 3 January 2023 07:25 (one year ago) link

sorry to resurrect the memory of terrible Christmas ads, but Sainsburys using a cod-medieval cover version of Wheatus' "Teenage Dirtbag" was an interesting move

― Critique of the Goth Programme (Neil S), Tuesday, 3 January 2023 10:15 (one year ago) link

Jenny Nicholson on Evermore, right?? Can't believe I watched (and enjoyed) all four hours of that.

It was, yeah. Actually made me really excited about the idea of living nearby and following all the storylines, though 1) doesn't excuse the myriad health & safety/labour rights concerns and 2) clearly untenable for a casual visitor.

― Daniel_Rf, Tuesday, 3 January 2023 10:32 (one year ago) link

Bit late for this but that Virgin pride ad is some pandering shit. Zomg you mean the pilot is a woman????

― Daniel_Rf, Tuesday, 3 January 2023 10:32 (one year ago) link

two weeks pass...

Historically illiterate advert from these reliably (as clockwork) irritating cunts.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwD35UdUwMM

― A Drunk Man Looks At Partick Thistle (Tom D.), Thursday, 19 January 2023 07:50 (one year ago) link

I would call this the first Christmas advert of the year, except they were actually showing this advert for Christmas 2023 before Christmas 2022. It's also a horrible advert.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7FMSzv83w4

― A Drunk Man Looks At Partick Thistle (Tom D.), Saturday, 21 January 2023 12:35 (one year ago) link

four weeks pass...

Judi Dench FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF

― satori enabler (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 18 February 2023 11:31 (one year ago) link

one month passes...

morrisons trying to make easter dinner a thing. (it's like christmas dinner but with lamb and cheescake apparently)

― koogs, Wednesday, 5 April 2023 09:05 (one year ago) link

Never heard of it.

― Maggot Bairn (Tom D.), Wednesday, 5 April 2023 09:06 (one year ago) link

google suggests that maybe it is a thing. jamie oliver has recipes, martha stewart has ideas. but it's never been a thing anywhere i've lived or eaten.

― koogs, Wednesday, 5 April 2023 09:15 (one year ago) link

there have always been Easter meal promotions as long as i can remember

what i don't remember so much is every food advert using pathetic infantilising language featuring cuddly celebrity voices pouring on the sap

― satori enabler (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 5 April 2023 09:33 (one year ago) link

but surely such a storyteller...could only be a story himself??

― Daniel_Rf, Wednesday, 5 April 2023 09:39 (one year ago) link

I'm having an Easter Dinner but it's all just going to be chocolate.

― Camaraderie at Arms Length, Wednesday, 5 April 2023 09:53 (one year ago) link

^ this. the true meaning of easter.

― koogs, Wednesday, 5 April 2023 10:14 (one year ago) link

Historically illiterate advert from these reliably (as clockwork) irritating cunts.

Glad I am not the only one annoyed by confused.com ads. Not just this one (which inventor of which clock? he used a sundial you FULE, etc etc) but the "why did we start keeping money in pigs?" one which ends with the pig vomming up the coins. It's coz cheap clay used for making money boxes was called "pygg" and eventually people took advantage of the pun to make them pig-shaped, BTW.

― Grandpont Genie, Wednesday, 5 April 2023 10:25 (one year ago) link

and the woman with the cactus for arms who wins the inflatable guitar?

― koogs, Wednesday, 5 April 2023 10:35 (one year ago) link

the woman with the cactus for arms should probably not got out at all ever. Would make a good kids' book about celebrating difference, I guess. Cassandra's Cactus Arms.

― Grandpont Genie, Wednesday, 5 April 2023 10:40 (one year ago) link

I watch MLB on BTSport quite often and American erectile dysfunction ads occur every so often and this one showed up last night:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6z694OneOac

Has that McDonald’s (?) slurping ad been mentioned yet, cos it’s disgusting

― limb tins & cum (gyac), Wednesday, 5 April 2023 10:41 (one year ago) link

Not American afaik. Americans would be too prudish for an advert like that. There's a lot of Numan ads on TV in general, and they're all irritating.

― Maggot Bairn (Tom D.), Wednesday, 5 April 2023 10:44 (one year ago) link

that's a particularly stupid one as we all know Action Man hasn't got anything down there to become dysfunctional! Which was the topic of a much better Hamlet ad on a poster with Action Man in bed with Barbie, back when the tobacco ad ban had been announced and the industry was going hammer and tongs to push the boundaries / be as wacky as possible before the axe fell.

wonder what Gary Numan thinks about this product?

― Grandpont Genie, Wednesday, 5 April 2023 10:48 (one year ago) link

"EMMA LOOKS GREAT...I LOOK DREADFUL"

― bain4z, Wednesday, 5 April 2023 12:33 (one year ago) link

Roast shoulder of lamb is one of my favourite meals so I will take any excuse to eat it.

I was way into my 30s before I clocked that every shop was shut on Easter Sunday just like Christmas Day. "Easter Day" didn't used to be much of a big thing, apart from in church.

― kinder, Wednesday, 5 April 2023 12:42 (one year ago) link

the downside of ridiculous amounts of hours spent watching golf every week and the demographic that suggests means that aside from betting ads, and the same trailer for whatever new show sky is pimping every single break( no I don't want to watch lily allen goes to Margate) is that I end up seeing roughly one hundred erectile dysfunction and hair loss ads per week.

― oscar bravo, Wednesday, 5 April 2023 20:31 (one year ago) link

SimpliSafe! There's a new player in the wooden acting security cam game

― zing me with your best zhot (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 11 April 2023 23:29 (one year ago) link

s that I end up seeing roughly one hundred erectile dysfunction and hair loss ads per week.

And because I bingewatch box sets on All 4 while knitting, I get bombarded with ads for pisspants. I really feel that if you are incontinent, you shouldn't sit on people's shoulders at a festival, even if you are wearing absorbent pants. And I certainly shouldn't have to ever think about you doing it.

― trishyb, Wednesday, 12 April 2023 15:21 (one year ago) link

(Unless you are an actual baby. That is acceptable.)

― trishyb, Wednesday, 12 April 2023 15:22 (one year ago) link

the advert I've seen about a dozen times now, about the autistic girl struggling with external stimuli, is, it turns out, for washing powder

― koogs, Sunday, 16 April 2023 16:16 (one year ago) link

I've been barraged by this Temu ad while playing cheesy phone games recently.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgNuwb9lpeg

I like it
*Yup!*
It’s mine
The prices blow my mind
*Cha-ching!*
I feel so rich
*Ooh yah!*
I feel like a billionaire

Most chilling part is when the little girl opens the Temu box and there is a Temu employee/oompaloompa grinning up at her.

Yup.

― peace, man, Tuesday, 25 April 2023 12:12 (one year ago) link

who is gig hadid and why does she think pasta and diet coke is such a treat?

― koogs, Wednesday, 26 April 2023 16:17 (one year ago) link

(gigi)

― koogs, Wednesday, 26 April 2023 16:18 (one year ago) link

There's nothing particularly wrong with this advert beyond the fact that the male character looks like the late England football manager, Graham Taylor.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEZGEjK_J1w

― Maggot Bairn (Tom D.), Monday, 8 May 2023 10:58 (eleven months ago) link

two weeks pass...

two different adverts (bank, squash) using the same alicia keys song. ick.

i see the 4 people in a cafe upsetting the 5-obsessed clientele far too often. i'm sure it means something to someone.

― koogs, Saturday, 27 May 2023 10:33 (eleven months ago) link

this new Argos advert is bad trip fucked up

― two grills one tap (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 3 June 2023 22:21 (ten months ago) link

Rob Quartermain, head of marketing campaigns, Argos said: “We can’t wait for the nation to fall in love with Connie and Trevor as they bring the assortment of products we offer to life, using premium brands as well as our iconic Habitat range.”
Toby Allen, ECD, The&Partnership said: “One of the nation’s best loved retailers sells the grown-up stuff too. Who better to deliver that message than the toys themselves? A savvy doll and a lovable dinosaur are the new faces of Argos, showing a new side to what it sells.”

― he thinks it's chinese money (soref), Saturday, 3 June 2023 22:38 (ten months ago) link

i mean it goes without saying that everybody who works in advertising is evil

― two grills one tap (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 3 June 2023 22:48 (ten months ago) link

"are you still using your hands when putting on your shoes?"

i am and i feel like such an idiot

― koogs, Monday, 5 June 2023 18:32 (ten months ago) link

opened next week's listing magazine and out fell six (6) Pure Cremation leaflets. 'as seen on tv'

― koogs, Tuesday, 6 June 2023 10:19 (ten months ago) link

Did you burn them?

― Mark G, Wednesday, 7 June 2023 07:30 (ten months ago) link

Bit of a sick joke these Channel 4 adverts for coverage of England's Euros campaign.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8I5-G0yNXdE

― Renaissance of the Celtic Trumpet (Tom D.), Tuesday, 20 June 2023 09:16 (ten months ago) link

Typical English modesty.

― nashwan, Tuesday, 20 June 2023 09:49 (ten months ago) link

There's an advertising campaign for nappies (diapers) which has been running for a few years, one of those where they've coined a new word, which in this case in "poonami."

I get the word is a portmanteau of poo and tsunami, but it doesn't look like poo and tsunami, it looks like "punani" - which given that the adverts feature an eyebrow-raising baby is previously undiscovered levels of ick.

― the world is your octopus (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 27 June 2023 09:32 (ten months ago) link

I regret to inform you that "poonami" has been used in the world of parenting for sone time...

― kinder, Tuesday, 27 June 2023 09:37 (ten months ago) link

yes I noticed that too. immediately put filthy dancehall track "Punami" in my head which I have to assume was not the intention.

― Daniel_Rf, Tuesday, 27 June 2023 09:52 (ten months ago) link

The Thames Water ones annoy me. Are they even ads, given that in any place in the UK you have no choice of water supplier? Maybe they are just PR campaigns.

One goes on and on about how they're fixing leaks 24-7. Oh the thing that is literally your job, and also why did you let the pipes get in such a state in the first place? (dividends, shareholders, grumble grumble).

Also the one with the puppet, which is a terrible puppet. Apparently it is supposed to be an otter. I thought it was a rat, given they live in the sewers.

― Grandpont Genie, Tuesday, 27 June 2023 10:23 (ten months ago) link

Voyage Privé's current TV ad states that they sell "packaged holidays", a comically Mr Burnsesque commitment to faux poshness

― orcas who sign their posts like it's a freaking email (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 28 June 2023 12:48 (nine months ago) link

Rightmove's decision to do a normcore "this is the place where we're happy" celebration of the nuclear family but drench it in unspoken melancholy is a bold one

― orcas who sign their posts like it's a freaking email (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 28 June 2023 13:35 (nine months ago) link

that annoying cornetto advert is back, the one with the shrieking and the unfunny reveal.

the tesco emoji face advert is creepy, like a rictus grin.

― koogs, Friday, 7 July 2023 16:26 (nine months ago) link

two weeks pass...

Burger king: making people feel like idiots for ordering almpst anything on your menu doesn't seem like a great marketing strategy.

― a holistic digital egosystem (ledge), Friday, 21 July 2023 19:24 (nine months ago) link

that one annoys me because someone is obviously singing "chicken royal" amongst the others singing "chicken royale"

in a perhaps related note, "reading eggs".

― koogs, Friday, 21 July 2023 19:36 (nine months ago) link

Burger King writing "You rule" on all of their signs is a weird campaign

― linoleum gallagher (Neanderthal), Friday, 21 July 2023 20:18 (nine months ago) link

is it the burger king advert or another fast food outlet in the uk at the moment where the serving staff solemnly shake the customers hand? no thank you.

― oscar bravo, Friday, 21 July 2023 20:41 (nine months ago) link

that's the KFC ads

― orcas who sign their posts like it's a freaking email (Noodle Vague), Friday, 21 July 2023 20:44 (nine months ago) link

if anybody shakes my hand instead of putting chicken in it, arms get broke

― linoleum gallagher (Neanderthal), Friday, 21 July 2023 22:18 (nine months ago) link

actual lol at "as soft as sea foam, as pure as a parent's love"

― a holistic digital egosystem (ledge), Tuesday, 25 July 2023 15:09 (nine months ago) link

i like the ones that end with the sinister "always keep away from children"

― koogs, Tuesday, 25 July 2023 17:07 (nine months ago) link

are you chatting shit about my milk-slice??

yeah that is loool

― kinder, Tuesday, 25 July 2023 21:18 (nine months ago) link

one month passes...

the dove advert for anorexia, or something, needs to stop. must've seen it 10 times today and that weird squeal she does at the start bugs me every time.

"I'm glad you didn't buy an electric car" ad also needs to go

― koogs, Friday, 1 September 2023 17:26 (seven months ago) link

"They got me back in the game baby!"

The one that is sticking with me these days is this golfer Lee Trevino add for knee pain help. That tag line makes me chuckle. They seem to show it every 3 commercials during Jeopardy every night.

― earlnash, Friday, 1 September 2023 17:41 (seven months ago) link

two weeks pass...

New Verisure with the golfer has some of the worst acting yet in their ever expanding oeuvre.

― Monthly Python (Tom D.), Saturday, 16 September 2023 09:00 (seven months ago) link

i've been meaning to comment on that one. the layers of possibility - is he meant to be a parody of a toff? why would you portray your target customers as buffoons? is this about creating "aspirational" characters that are in a higher class bracket than your actual target market, and it's been done very ham-fistedly, or are they going for some cult ironic badness thing in a Go Compare mode? why does the Verisure lad guarding the patio look vaguely familiar from some ancient sitcom or something?

― whatever happened to gravy brain? (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 16 September 2023 09:05 (seven months ago) link

Good questions, one and all. I don't think Verisure do irony though.

― Monthly Python (Tom D.), Saturday, 16 September 2023 09:08 (seven months ago) link

if it is parody it's brilliant. the production values have reached a point where i'm thinking surely somebody has to have pointed out how shitty the scripts and acting are?

― whatever happened to gravy brain? (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 16 September 2023 09:10 (seven months ago) link

maybe Mr Verisure is one of those intense control freak guys like Mr Wetherspoons or Mr Sam Smiths who won't let anybody interfere with his vision

― whatever happened to gravy brain? (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 16 September 2023 09:11 (seven months ago) link

Uber Eats ad with the heavily perspiring guy letting drops of melted ice cream fall on his kecks.

― Dan Worsley, Saturday, 16 September 2023 09:12 (seven months ago) link

is that the verisure advert that just drops in the name of their new ZeroVision thing without explaining what it is (a smoke bomb basically)? the way he says "burglar ran away" is very peculiar

also i can't believe we've got this far without anyone mentioning the Sausage advert.

― koogs, Saturday, 16 September 2023 11:51 (seven months ago) link

Oh no, "burglar ran away" ran away is a different one, there's something slightly off about that one too, gives off a 'middle aged gay couple on a caravanning holiday' vibe. Also I'd be more scared of the guy who says "burglar ran away" than the burglar who, er, ran away.

― Monthly Python (Tom D.), Saturday, 16 September 2023 12:06 (seven months ago) link

I'm not sure even a good actor could deliver the line the verisure golfer is required to say. I'm p sure no human being who has every existed has said that collection of words in that order or ever would spontaneously.

also from bitter experience a golf ball hit into a pane of glass does not come to rest embedded in aforementioned glass.

― oscar bravo, Saturday, 16 September 2023 12:50 (seven months ago) link

one month passes...

Old bloke crying desperately on holiday.

It's uncomfortable viewing, you'd think he came away on holiday to take his mind off the death of his wife

In fact, his suitcase with lots of Heinz Baked Beans got lost in transit.

Will it sell one additional can of beans? No.

― Mark G, Tuesday, 24 October 2023 20:50 (six months ago) link

the end justifies the beans

― real warm grandpa (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 24 October 2023 20:56 (six months ago) link

That seems like the Bizarro world version of the latest Publix commercial, which tracks a girl and her stepfather through the years up to her wedding, when she finally calls him "Dad."

It has fuck all to do with groceries, but it makes me tear up every time.

― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Tuesday, 24 October 2023 21:04 (six months ago) link

Speaking of Heinz.... Watched the Hard Sell episode on (my beloved) WeatherGens last week - the sheer effort they put into ostensibly minor things for aesthetic pleasure etc - and the other day I caught ITV weather and saw the Heinz sponsorship and the whole enterprise was made to seem even more functional than before even though I knew too damn well but yes. Cough.

― you can see me from westbury white horse, Wednesday, 25 October 2023 00:24 (six months ago) link

the new currys ads with them eating the manuals and her with the beard

― koogs, Thursday, 26 October 2023 11:17 (six months ago) link

if you wrote the new Pepsi Max advert, you're probs a cunt

― no gap tree for old men (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 26 October 2023 11:21 (six months ago) link

the Heinz Beans ad really is vile and i expect it'll be gone or edited v differently in pretty short order

― no gap tree for old men (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 26 October 2023 11:22 (six months ago) link

i do enjoy how Currys ads are all "our USP is that the staff can regurgitate the meaningless manufacturer's blurb like this is gonna inform you as a customer in some way"

― no gap tree for old men (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 26 October 2023 11:23 (six months ago) link

yes that one is disturbingly (unintentionally? )bleak

― oscar bravo, Thursday, 26 October 2023 19:28 (six months ago) link

Christina Aguilera is doing Just Eat now

― Hello I'm shitty gatsworth (aldo), Thursday, 26 October 2023 20:41 (six months ago) link

it's christmas.

argos xmas advert features the creepy toys again.

all phone adverts just seem to focus on the camera part of it. i saw one that was over 100M pixels, which is about 10 times wider than any monitor.

― koogs, Thursday, 2 November 2023 16:18 (five months ago) link

"I was so upset by a shop's Christmas advert that I wrote them a letter and posted it on social media like a twat. I am a headteacher, you know." pic.twitter.com/CUGwQKSSYI
— june lewins 🐦 (@joonloons) November 3, 2023

i have missed this controversy. what gives?

― koogs, Saturday, 4 November 2023 12:15 (five months ago) link

There's a pretty widely shared social media conspiracy that the M&S Christmas advert is anti-Palestine propaganda due a twitter post they shared that features red, white and green decorations in the fire.

People have since doubled down in various ways including that Sophie Ellis-Bextor has blue eyeshadow so that 'proves it', or countering the ad being filmed in August as 'proof' that Mossad has been planning this offensive for months.

― Hello I'm shitty gatsworth (aldo), Saturday, 4 November 2023 12:34 (five months ago) link

i wonder if Muslims or Jews care about Christmas adverts at all

the lidl Xmas advert features that old traditional figure of Christmas, the raccoon.

― koogs, Saturday, 4 November 2023 14:43 (five months ago) link

Ohhh, that's what it is. I couldn't understand why people were getting so incensed about that particular thing. I have seen some of the angry messages from people who think that the "national department store" hates Christmas, which is a weird think to think about a SHOP.

― trishyb, Saturday, 4 November 2023 14:54 (five months ago) link

ok, i think the tweet i posted was more specifically about this

I am sending this complaint letter to M&S @marksandspencer

We should all be complaining.

This is a fight for everything we should believe in.

Do not sit this one out.

Write a letter of complaint about that advert!! pic.twitter.com/3aw58Uw2FZ
— Katharine Birbalsingh (@Miss_Snuffy) November 3, 2023

― koogs, Sunday, 5 November 2023 13:58 (five months ago) link

Yeah, there seems to be a feeling that the perfectly reasonable M&S "only do the bits of Christmas you like and don't feel under pressure to row in with the traditions you don't like" Christmas ad campaign is a WAR ON CHRISTMAS and undermining BRITISH values in BRITAIN.

― trishyb, Sunday, 5 November 2023 14:44 (five months ago) link

Birbalsingh has a very Ava from Abbott Elementary kind of headteacher workload.

― nashwan, Sunday, 5 November 2023 15:02 (five months ago) link

thanks for explaining what the advert is about, Trish. i had them all down as not liking the tacky bits of Christmas, but SEB was torching perfectly untacky cards.

she was also wearing blue eye shadow though, so who knows

― koogs, Sunday, 5 November 2023 15:25 (five months ago) link

Ah I hadn't seen that post, thanks, makes more specific sense.

― Hello I'm shitty gatsworth (aldo), Sunday, 5 November 2023 15:36 (five months ago) link

"You have a duty as our national department store to keep the spirit of Christmas alive..."

lol

― groovypanda, Sunday, 5 November 2023 15:53 (five months ago) link

Have u noticed how many commercials are advertising products for “…my/our/your business.”

― Its big ball chunky time (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Sunday, 5 November 2023 16:00 (five months ago) link

two weeks pass...

"How many millions?"
"56 millions"
"Blimey"
Fuck off you pub bore

― Ward Fowler, Sunday, 19 November 2023 18:38 (five months ago) link

i was going to ignore the irritation of "Asda have a poppin' offer" - a classic ad-speak "things no human being has ever said, ever" pain in the brain, but they've really ramped up the repetition of the ad over the weekend and fuck them, it's horrible, i hate it

― Tyler Perry's Cystitis (Noodle Vague), Monday, 27 November 2023 16:49 (five months ago) link

only noticed the 'self-inflicted injury' disclaimer on the over 50s life insurance ads this morning. that's pretty grim.

― koogs, Monday, 27 November 2023 16:53 (five months ago) link

Energizer Noir, what the fuck is wrong with you American ad industry?

― Honnest Brish Face (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 9 December 2023 11:24 (four months ago) link

god bless whoever decided to dub in the "yes"es on the Armani Si advert, for monolingual viewers who don't get it

― Honnest Brish Face (Noodle Vague), Friday, 15 December 2023 07:20 (four months ago) link

they are asking questions about the new corsa. the third one they ask is 'will it charge my phone?'

― koogs, Tuesday, 19 December 2023 09:44 (four months ago) link

what's the car that's advertising chat GPT included? presumably so you can follow driving instructions that get more and more wrong as you progress on your way.

― Daniel_Rf, Tuesday, 19 December 2023 10:44 (four months ago) link

the Heinz Beans ad really is vile and i expect it'll be gone or edited v differently in pretty short order
― no gap tree for old men (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 26 October 2023 11:22 (one month ago) bookmarkflaglink

Still on, shorter but mostly the same...

― Mark G, Wednesday, 20 December 2023 15:01 (four months ago) link

two weeks pass...

Tesco Whoosh. not necessarily the bumper ads, more just the name.

― koogs, Wednesday, 3 January 2024 15:38 (three months ago) link

the 'on the beach' advert, his accent makes me hear 'fucking geniuses' every time

― koogs, Wednesday, 3 January 2024 18:04 (three months ago) link

Yes, before the New Year I was actually looking for a Youtube of that to post here!

― Little Billy Love (Tom D.), Wednesday, 3 January 2024 18:10 (three months ago) link

nothing more Marxist than soundtracking a hotels.com advert

― emishi sun hack (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 4 January 2024 21:51 (three months ago) link

I know, right?

It doesn't actually sound like them, though! I'm guessing it's the publisher that's OKed this.

― Mark G, Thursday, 4 January 2024 22:09 (three months ago) link

I mentioned in one of their threads but little did I know they'd already been used for various other adverts.

― Little Billy Love (Tom D.), Thursday, 4 January 2024 22:43 (three months ago) link

are/were they 'marxist' like spectator columnists though? thats what i read somewhere once.

― plax (ico), Thursday, 4 January 2024 22:57 (three months ago) link

I guess that's where they are now, at any rate

― emishi sun hack (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 4 January 2024 23:11 (three months ago) link

who are you on about?

― kinder, Friday, 5 January 2024 15:30 (three months ago) link

I'm having fun guessing. Stereolab? Radiohead?

― Daniel_Rf, Friday, 5 January 2024 15:33 (three months ago) link

stereolab. lo boob oscilator is used on some ad. see the future of stereolab thread.

― koogs, Friday, 5 January 2024 17:16 (three months ago) link

Lol I didn't even look at that one

― emishi sun hack (Noodle Vague), Friday, 5 January 2024 17:31 (three months ago) link

you know what lads? i really don't care if your robbing bastard supermarket is price-matched to a different robbing bastard supermarket

― craning to be leather (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 11 January 2024 19:16 (three months ago) link

two weeks pass...

I can't decide whether the pitiful non-acting of the fake phone call "oh the poor thing" or the pompous fuckwit giving it "it's just completely unacceptable" is the worst bit of the RSPCA advert but it might well be my most hated ad of all time

― wang mang band (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 27 January 2024 18:51 (three months ago) link

We have to talk about the Dormeo Octapsring adverts. It might be that these are only on Freeview, if they are count yourself lucky as they are the longest most boring adverts imaginable as well as being on all the time. The other thing is the shouty enthusiastic voiceover guy has a very odd and annoying way of pronouncing the letter "o", which is unfortunate as the word "foam" is mentioned 300 times, "bonus" 200 times, "zone", "sofa" etc.

― The British Boy of Film Classification (Tom D.), Thursday, 1 February 2024 07:49 (two months ago) link

"that true, restful sleep"

yeah this is some fucked up Americana shit, fallout from a very strange mattress culture

― wang mang band (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 1 February 2024 07:57 (two months ago) link

funnily enough i need a new mattress but i'm not paying whatever wacky price these lads are asking

― wang mang band (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 1 February 2024 07:58 (two months ago) link

while i'm on, the Lenor Dream Team are a bunch of freaks and that dubbing isn't fooling anybody

― wang mang band (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 1 February 2024 07:59 (two months ago) link

i'm sure you could sleep forever on a series of 100-day loan matresses

― koogs, Thursday, 1 February 2024 08:30 (two months ago) link

stereolab. lo boob oscilator is used on some ad. see the future of stereolab thread.

― koogs, Friday, January 5, 2024 12:16 PM (three weeks ago) bookmarkflaglink

This is one of my favorite songs. Thankfully it hasn't ruined it for me yet.

The commercial that I hate more than anything is that Jet2Go one with the "I'm ready for this . . ." song. MAKE IT STOP.

― Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Thursday, 1 February 2024 10:13 (two months ago) link

"All he ever spoke about was bike this, bike that". Boring cunt.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lu5CMmjj_SU

― The British Boy of Film Classification (Tom D.), Friday, 2 February 2024 07:47 (two months ago) link

... by the way, is that The Shend playing Tony the dead biker?

― The British Boy of Film Classification (Tom D.), Friday, 2 February 2024 07:50 (two months ago) link

I think so! As someone said elsewhere, how have they fitted The Shend into that coffin?

― Michael Jones, Friday, 2 February 2024 09:27 (two months ago) link

The thing about the Stereolab ad is it makes me so relieved it's not that horrible cover of "Roam" that I don't have much energy left to feel outraged.

― Daniel_Rf, Friday, 2 February 2024 09:53 (two months ago) link

It's one of those tracks I don't mind hearing for whatever reason. A bit like those Marc Jacobs ones that used Suicide...

― Mark G, Friday, 2 February 2024 10:11 (two months ago) link

Fuck that daisy daisy daisy shite though.

― The British Boy of Film Classification (Tom D.), Friday, 2 February 2024 10:12 (two months ago) link

Oh yeah..

― Mark G, Friday, 2 February 2024 10:14 (two months ago) link

used ITV X for the first time and was repeatedly faced with a terrifying Wiltshire Council advert about flytipping (you MAY be prosecuted) with a banner at the bottom throughout with an owl staring into my soul. this was the only light i had going at 3am.

― you can see me from westbury white horse, Saturday, 10 February 2024 17:29 (two months ago) link

I loathe the daisy daisy daisy ad beyond comprehension. My least favourite advert of the past few years.

― you can see me from westbury white horse, Saturday, 10 February 2024 17:30 (two months ago) link

Martin Rev being paid makes that go away pretty quickly.

― Hello I'm shitty gatsworth (aldo), Saturday, 10 February 2024 23:36 (two months ago) link

itvX is messed up on my t.v.. often the ads will flicker past then pause for a few minutes, or a show will come back after the ad break with no sound. I did watch Heathers on it yesterday though and it worked well enough.

― kinder, Sunday, 11 February 2024 07:56 (two months ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qscMMieVuzY

― papal hotwife (milo z), Sunday, 11 February 2024 08:09 (two months ago) link

proving "Charlie Bigham" exists by showing a *cartoon* of him is like saying Garfield is a real cat.

― koogs, Sunday, 18 February 2024 22:39 (two months ago) link

the Fixodent advert where a middle-aged couple apparently on a date eat burgers with huge white plastic chompers is one of the funniest things i've ever seen

― Morris O’Shea Salazar (Noodle Vague), Friday, 23 February 2024 21:53 (two months ago) link

hate the Dominic West adverts where he's a bank executive

― koogs, Saturday, 24 February 2024 06:51 (two months ago) link

Too cowardly to go properly nasty because they're still advertising banking services, and still somehow written really stiltedly

― Morris O’Shea Salazar (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 24 February 2024 06:54 (two months ago) link

I can't help thinking that now we've reached Stockholm Syndrome with the wombat as we did with the meerkats, Compare the Market will introduce an even more annoying character *shudder*.

― Grandpont Genie, Saturday, 24 February 2024 07:40 (two months ago) link

"that true, restful sleep"

yeah this is some fucked up Americana shit, fallout from a very strange mattress culture

To return briefly to Dormeo. I'd forgotten that in one of their adverts where they're talking, sorry, shouting about having guests staying over and sleeping on one of their mattresses - which you absolutely know are going to be completely underwhelming and look nothing like they look in the advert - that it'll be on a "mattress you can be proud of".

― The British Boy of Film Classification (Tom D.), Saturday, 24 February 2024 10:22 (two months ago) link

I kind of hate that AA advert where bank robbers rush out to find the AA man working on their getaway car - potentially a good idea rendered completely meh. Apart from suggesting the AA have no qualms about helping criminals commit crime and ignoring the fact any bank robber worth their salt will have a getaway driver, it's the bit where the AA man offers them Bombay mix that annoys me most - is it supposed to be funny? Quirky?

― The British Boy of Film Classification (Tom D.), Wednesday, 28 February 2024 07:38 (one month ago) link

the bombay mix guy IS the getaway driver.

― koogs, Wednesday, 28 February 2024 08:36 (one month ago) link

which is why he says 'it's ok *I'm* with the AA'

― koogs, Wednesday, 28 February 2024 08:36 (one month ago) link

Oh right. LOL you can tell I'm not a driver. I still don't like the Bombay mix line.

― The British Boy of Film Classification (Tom D.), Wednesday, 28 February 2024 08:48 (one month ago) link

(have just realised that 'I'm with' could mean 'i am employed by' as well as 'i'm a member of')

he's far too chill given the circumstances

― koogs, Wednesday, 28 February 2024 08:54 (one month ago) link

someone should tell Pot Noodle that just because something is intended to be disgustingly obnoxious doesn't mean it isn't disgustingly obnoxious

― or something, Wednesday, 28 February 2024 12:46 (one month ago) link

New Verisure advert looks like it was improvised during a teabreak in the recording of a proper Verisure advert - with the crew as actors.

― The British Boy of Film Classification (Tom D.), Friday, 1 March 2024 09:59 (one month ago) link

Dr Ranj, thank you for knowing the price of cashew nuts in Grape Tree

― Ward Fowler, Friday, 1 March 2024 10:04 (one month ago) link

xp I think I'm part of the problem when tom's description means I'm looking frwd to seeing it now. can't see how they'll top the golf one but I'm excited.

― oscar bravo, Friday, 1 March 2024 20:55 (one month ago) link

two weeks pass...

just seen the pot noodle slurping video with some kind of electronic noise rather than the slurping. wasn't paying enough attention to understand why that was.

there's a second slurping ad at the moment as well though, macdonalds perhaps.

― koogs, Sunday, 17 March 2024 19:24 (one month ago) link

The Hertz car rental ads I have been getting on youtube for about a year are driving me mad - one is a parody of Oprah saying "you get a car!" and the other is a parody of Tom Cruise on Oprah, both are just shit in every way possible.

― This is Dance Anthems, have some respect (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Sunday, 17 March 2024 19:26 (one month ago) link

haven't seen in a week but i'm still irritated so the sara cox radio 2 promo. is it calling her listeners 'you absolute legends' or the digital landscape of sad commuters making their 'everyday less everyday' by having hung up played to them, the 'less everyday' to the 'everyday' train rhythm beneath?

not that bbc radio promos don't usually annoy me, mind

― you can see me from westbury white horse, Wednesday, 20 March 2024 22:17 (one month ago) link

"my nan was a truly amazing woman, she made shit sunday dinners with frozen yorkshire puds" is a feminist masterpiece

― Bitchin Doutai (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 26 March 2024 18:58 (one month ago) link

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