Defend the Indefensible: Jared of Subway

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Never in my wildest dreams did I think he would have lasted this long as a t.v. entity. Subway: please cease and desist.

― Joe (Joe), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 15:18 (twenty years ago)

Nor Jared Harris, then?

― It Is What A Man Does Which Demeans Him, Not What Is Done To Him (kate), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 15:20 (twenty years ago)

I mean NOT. D'oh.

― It Is What A Man Does Which Demeans Him, Not What Is Done To Him (kate), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 15:20 (twenty years ago)

But he's a thin inspiration. A THINSPIRATION!

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 15:21 (twenty years ago)

oh god, there is nothing nice to say about this man

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 15:21 (twenty years ago)

http://www.eurekareporter.com/NewFiles/Jared_04012005_web.jpg

I would hate to be him. Imagine eating THAT much subway, and still have to be around it all the time! And probably eat it too! ICK!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 15:25 (twenty years ago)

I like that face he makes in the new commercial when FRIED chicken is mentioned. I CAN'T BELIEVE SOMEONE WOULD FRY CHICKEN.

― laurence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 15:28 (twenty years ago)

(Defense, commence):

Come on, he's a human being. He's trying to help people be healthier any way that they can. If that means eating the same thing every day because they have no idea what foods won't make them weigh 500 pounds, he's helping people. And helping uncreative people who haven't been properly taught how to feed themselves isn't indefensible, right?

That said, I wish he would disappear pronto.

― The Milkmaid (of Human Kindness) (The Milkmaid), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 15:30 (twenty years ago)

i wonder if subway's marketing team is crap b/c jared isn't that marketable. does anyone sympathize with him? feel inspired by him? like him?
plus, it's been a LONG time since his initial weight loss ads were around .. .. .. do we have generations of young'uns that don't even know who he is?!

― kelsey (kelstarry), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 15:32 (twenty years ago)

the subway account is a bit of a joke in the adworld -- they are renowned for steadfastly clinging to jared as their spokesperson. any slight deviations they've made from him in the past have resulted in analagous sales dips, so there's something to their conservatism.

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 15:36 (twenty years ago)

SIX INCH CHICKEN TERIYAKI
SIX INCH VEGGIE DELIGHT
SIX INCH CHICKEN TERIYAKI
SIX INCH VEGGIE DELIGHT
SIX INCH CHICKEN TERIYAKI
SIX INCH VEGGIE DELIGHT
SIX INCH CHICKEN TERIYAKI
SIX INCH VEGGIE DELIGHT
SIX INCH CHICKEN TERIYAKI
SIX INCH VEGGIE DELIGHT
SIX INCH CHICKEN TERIYAKI
SIX INCH VEGGIE DELIGHT

― STOP SAYING THAT (popshots75`), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 15:37 (twenty years ago)

hasn't it been revealed that jared fogle isn't his original name? he went through some "see the light" experience where he dropped weight and changed his name, there was some website about the creepiness

― mike h. (mike h.), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 15:38 (twenty years ago)

He's less annoying when he's telling his own story than when he's acting in those MMM-I-LOVE-EATING-SUBWAY-SANDWICHES-SO-MUCH commercials. however, that's not really saying much...

― lemin (lemin), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 15:43 (twenty years ago)

Why would you change your name to "Jared Fogle"?

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 15:46 (twenty years ago)

maybe he lost a bet.

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 15:46 (twenty years ago)

http://www.subway.co.jp/jared/image/img11.gif

― I'M HI, JARED FOGLE (ex machina), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 15:49 (twenty years ago)

i still think it was totally brave of him to testify in front of those senate sandwich hearings they way he did... took some real guts.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 15:49 (twenty years ago)

But he has no guts! Because of the:

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 15:51 (twenty years ago)

I will take dancing rats with superimposed lips shilling for sandwiches over this Steve Bartman wannabe fat fuck.

Oh, defend him? I guess the fact that I'm still free to roam the streets because I haven't flattened his face with a shovel yet is a good thing.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 15:52 (twenty years ago)

His teeth in that poster reminds me of the Alien monster's teeth...

― Joe (Joe), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 15:59 (twenty years ago)

He is a great American success story! He lost weight by eating fast food and became a famous television personality as a result! It could happen to you!

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 15:59 (twenty years ago)

He looks like someone tried to teach him how to smile, and taught him badly.

― The Milkmaid (of Human Kindness) (The Milkmaid), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 16:05 (twenty years ago)

He's easier to ignore than a lot of other in-your-face annoying TV personalities.

― alex in montreal (alex in montreal), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 16:06 (twenty years ago)

I for one, would love to get a good paying job like that. You can't blame him. He went from being a tub of goo, to being reasonably fit, and now he gets paid to say he likes a product. God, milk that for all it's worth Jared...

― Draw Tipsy to see if you give a shit about art (Dave225), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 16:08 (twenty years ago)

Milkmaid utterly OTM. Jared OTM about why fried chicken is "bad." My main problem with Subway is that they don't state clearly enough that if you want Jared-like success, you need to hold the cheese, mayo, oil and soybean oil based sauces.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 16:10 (twenty years ago)

If Jared manages to convince those Senators he's testifying in front of to outlaw fried chicken then I will destroy him.

― laurence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 16:23 (twenty years ago)

I kind of feel sorry for him, annoying as he is. Imagine having to eat as much Subway as he must, it's a soul destroying business.

― Leon C. (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 16:27 (twenty years ago)

J'agree the smile is hideous.

Now, is it my imagination or is he hiding a bit of a belly in the latest round of ads? Those tuna subs have over a thousand calories you know.

― everything, Wednesday, 27 July 2005 16:29 (twenty years ago)

he has the grossest lips of any living human

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 16:30 (twenty years ago)

He did look a little bit heavier in the latest commercials.

― Leon C. (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 16:31 (twenty years ago)

HE'S JUST A MAN WHO LOVES FAME, SANDWICHES AND MONEY - WTF IS WRONG WITH THAT?! - THAT IS THE AMERICAN DREAM

― Dr. Glen Y. Abreu (dr g), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 16:32 (twenty years ago)

d'ream

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 16:33 (twenty years ago)

Subway is deceitful in the grams of fat: "Addition of cheese or condiments may alter fat content..." Who doesn't add some kind of condiment?

Yeah, and Jared needs a stiff kick in the groin.

― andy -, Wednesday, 27 July 2005 16:33 (twenty years ago)

hilarious Achewood strip about Subway using Jared in their advertisements:

http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=01172003

― Uncledoj, Wednesday, 27 July 2005 16:34 (twenty years ago)

http://www.whichwich.com/assets/photo_montage/food_1.jpg http://www.gettysburg.edu/college_life/osa/orgs/class_2005/Senior%20Slide%20show/crow%20hoes.jpg http://www.zdeinvestments.com/images/money-stacked.jpg http://www.prizes1.com/America%20No%201%20Hand.jpg

― Dr. Glen Y. Abreu (dr g), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 16:36 (twenty years ago)

"hilarious Achewood strip"

― I'm Hi, Jared Fogle (ex machina), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 16:36 (twenty years ago)

apparently the american dream has been amended to "fame, money, sandwiches and shit-tons of babysitting work"

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 16:38 (twenty years ago)

Subway is deceitful in the grams of fat: "Addition of cheese or condiments may alter fat content..." Who doesn't add some kind of condiment?

Well, you could have mustard. Also, many condiments/sauces (ketchup, BBQ, salsa) are fat-free (but not calorie free).

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 16:42 (twenty years ago)

What's great about that photo in the ad is that you know that was the best shot they got out of that session. The rest of the pictures made children cry.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 16:45 (twenty years ago)

In Jared's defense: on that Triumph the Insult Comic Dog live DVD thing, Jared takes his zings like a man, while the "Dell Dude" douchebag tries very, very unsuccessfully to retort Triumph, which, might I remind you, is a puppet with a man's hand up it's ass.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 17:18 (twenty years ago)

He can buy and sell you several times over.

― Aimless (Aimless), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 17:24 (twenty years ago)

if him and the Verizon weezer guy are crossing the street in front of my whilst I drive and I'm forced to run over one of them, it ain't gonna be Jared.

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 17:29 (twenty years ago)

I love though how, though he's lost all the weight, Jared's mouth remains ginormous enough that he might eat several bags of dicks in one bite, were he so inclined.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 17:39 (twenty years ago)

thanks for the visual, nickalish.

― kelsey (kelstarry), Wednesday, 27 July 2005 17:56 (twenty years ago)

Just a moment! Quality of Subway aside, I like Jared, because he has a quality much ignored and passed over, esp. in the world of advertising - mildness. He can't even muster anger at the Chicken Selects. Imagine if every fucking EXTREME commercial were replaced by something mild, like Jared or the Motel 6 guy.

― G. Litwack, Wednesday, 27 July 2005 23:53 (twenty years ago)

At least they haven't resorted to talking action figures/lawn gnomes

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 28 July 2005 00:00 (twenty years ago)

or a guy in a rubber king suit that says "Meeeeheeeatnormous, CHEEEESEnormOUS"

― Kim (Kim), Thursday, 28 July 2005 00:12 (twenty years ago)

I just wouldn't want to hear Jared say that I mean.

the BK is awesome

― Kim (Kim), Thursday, 28 July 2005 00:15 (twenty years ago)

the bitties! the begging, the scrounging!

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Thursday, 28 July 2005 00:20 (twenty years ago)

First of all, Subway sucks. You can start with their corrugated cardboard bread, if you like.

Second of all, if I hear anyone compare this fuckhead Jared with TOM BODET, MOTHERFUCKER EXTREME again, it'll be too soon.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 28 July 2005 01:14 (twenty years ago)

what's wrong with tom bodet? he leaves the light on for you.

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Thursday, 28 July 2005 01:24 (twenty years ago)

do britishes know who fogle is?

― cutty (mcutt), Thursday, 28 July 2005 03:24 (twenty years ago)

mongrels certainly do

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Thursday, 28 July 2005 03:30 (twenty years ago)

Do they overdub a mongrel accent on him for commercials down there?

― Truckdrivin' Buddha (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 28 July 2005 03:32 (twenty years ago)

Don't answer that -- dumb question.

― Truckdrivin' Buddha (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 28 July 2005 03:32 (twenty years ago)

litwack otm re: mildness though, the only defense I was going to offer is that I don't hate him even though I really should, and that's gotta count for something. I think it's very creepy that he's able to eat Subway sandwiches for months(years?) at a time but other than that, he's just an affable, maladjusted dorky go-getter and I'd rather see him get the big mascot bucks than some loudmouth asshole actor.

― tremendoid (tremendoid), Thursday, 28 July 2005 04:30 (twenty years ago)

"the Motel 6 guy"

His name is TOM BODETTE.

― Tim Ellison (Tim Ellison), Thursday, 28 July 2005 05:02 (twenty years ago)

ts: jared fogle vs. the illiterate cows dreamed up by the chick-fil-a marketing team

― club soda (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 28 July 2005 07:55 (twenty years ago)

ILLITERATE COWS, BY FAR.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 28 July 2005 16:07 (twenty years ago)

chic-fil-a gives money to abortion clinic bombers

― 3, Thursday, 28 July 2005 16:09 (twenty years ago)

So they really do like illiterate cows.

― Leon C. (Ex Leon), Thursday, 28 July 2005 16:12 (twenty years ago)

hahaha

― 3, Thursday, 28 July 2005 16:15 (twenty years ago)

"six grams of fat or less..."

― busway, Thursday, 28 July 2005 20:27 (twenty years ago)

CHICK-FIL-A NOOOOOO0000000000000OOOOOOOOOOOOO00000000000OOOOOOOOOO

― geoff (gcannon), Thursday, 28 July 2005 20:32 (twenty years ago)

The building I live in shares basement space with a Subway, and their weird, indefinable smell (I suppose its their bread baking) seeps into our elevator banks. It's most unnerving.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 28 July 2005 20:33 (twenty years ago)

I don't much like Subway, and Jared kinda irritates me, but hey, go him. In what other country would a formerly fat guy get his 15 minutes of fame for eating sandwiches?

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 28 July 2005 20:39 (twenty years ago)

I'd bet that he'd be big in Ethiopia.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 28 July 2005 20:47 (twenty years ago)

do britishes know who fogle is?

The Jared adverts ran for a few weeks in 2003 here, I doubt anyone without exposure to American culture could remember who he is. Subway tend not to advertise on TV here, for some reason.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 28 July 2005 20:52 (twenty years ago)

Because they SUCK!

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Friday, 29 July 2005 13:00 (twenty years ago)

When I was 15-16 i worked for Subway for one year. I gained so much weight from just having to eat there. I think the mayo was seeping into my hands when I had to mix the tuna and seafood crap. The subway smell is a mixture of the bread, and having to chop up all those onions and tomatos, and having to deal with vats of mayo. You couldn't wash the smell out of your clothes. Fuck a visor.

― Mendoza Lineman (Carey), Friday, 29 July 2005 13:09 (twenty years ago)

you were like susan sarandon in atlantic city

― j blount (papa la bas), Friday, 29 July 2005 13:11 (twenty years ago)

OTM Uncledoj! Never seen ads, only know him from Achewood. My personal fave on the subject is the next in the series.

― Kv_nol (Kv_nol), Friday, 29 July 2005 13:32 (twenty years ago)

I think the Asian ad above works a lot more if you remove the huge green lettering and sing silently to yourself "Love, exciting and new..."

― Joe (Joe), Friday, 29 July 2005 23:38 (twenty years ago)

FRED GRANDY
**your purser**

TED LANGE
**your bartender**

AND
JARED FOGLE
**your Subway guy**

― Joe (Joe), Friday, 29 July 2005 23:40 (twenty years ago)

I like jared.

― Jeff-PTTL (Jeff), Friday, 29 July 2005 23:43 (twenty years ago)

fuck! i forgot about that smell. you go in there for 5 minutes and you're stuck with that greasy, cheesy, bready smell. i haven't been to subway in almost a year and i still have flashbacks. groooossssssssssssssssssssssss

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Friday, 29 July 2005 23:49 (twenty years ago)

it's because one of their bread-baking ingredients is lips and assholes!

― ghetty green (eman), Saturday, 30 July 2005 00:36 (twenty years ago)

he has ruined the name jared. try having a customer service job where your name is jared and you wear a name tag and everyone thinks it's hilarious to ask you if you're the subway guy when you clearly aren't.
FUCK ONE JARED FUCKING FOGLE.

― Jared, Saturday, 30 July 2005 00:55 (twenty years ago)

don't forget about one of the key components of the subway smell -- the rotting lettuce.

― cost fucked madonna (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 30 July 2005 01:50 (twenty years ago)

rotting lettuce + pesticides that never got washed off.

― cost fucked madonna (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 30 July 2005 01:50 (twenty years ago)

IF YOU THINK SUBWAY IS BAD TRY THE BLIMPIE AT THE UNIVERSITY OF ROCHESTER. WORST SAMMICHES EVER!!!!

― I'm Hi, Jared Fogle (ex machina), Saturday, 30 July 2005 03:30 (twenty years ago)

Debilitate the Indefatigable

http://www.paulkatcher.com/images/jared_big.jpg

― ghetty green (eman), Saturday, 30 July 2005 03:34 (twenty years ago)

ew, blimpie. that's a bridge too far.

― cost fucked madonna (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 30 July 2005 04:02 (twenty years ago)

i associate blimpie with skeezy old unemployed junkies reading the racing form and trying to make one cup of soda last for hours and hours. also it smells like pine sol in there.

― cost fucked madonna (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 30 July 2005 04:04 (twenty years ago)

i associate ~~starbucks~~ blimpie with skeezy ~~young~~ old unemployed ~~"artists"~~ junkies reading the ~~internet~~ racing form and trying to make one cup of ~~coffee~~ soda last for hours and hours. also it smells like pine sol in there.

― cost fucked madonna (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 30 July 2005 04:07 (twenty years ago)

yall on ile sure are some lil bitches about fast food!! i worked at subway, its clean enough for me, and that and blimpie is like where you go when you got a couple extra bucks and you feel like spoiling yourself

― 3, Saturday, 30 July 2005 04:17 (twenty years ago)

still not as bad as when miccio dissed sbarro tho- SORRY YOUR HIGHNESS!!

― 3, Saturday, 30 July 2005 04:17 (twenty years ago)

sbarro can be okay as long as you stay away from the one in times square, but you can say that about anyplace that has a franchise in times square.

― cost fucked madonna (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 30 July 2005 04:22 (twenty years ago)

haha i guarantee i can stay away from the one in times square

― 3, Saturday, 30 July 2005 04:25 (twenty years ago)

The only place here I've ever seen Sbarro is at the airport. All it seems to be is very overpriced, very poor quality "Italian" food about as nice looking as a reheated frozen pizza. Maybe it isnt the same thing here tho.

Subway is dreadful, but I dont like franchise takeaway anyway (McDs, BK, Subway etc). Thankfully Aus still has plenty of proper local takeaways that do real burgers and souvlakis and chips so I needed fret.

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 30 July 2005 04:32 (twenty years ago)

argh needn't, not needed.

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 30 July 2005 04:33 (twenty years ago)

that shit costs more

― 3, Saturday, 30 July 2005 04:35 (twenty years ago)

and bird shit is free

― oops (Oops), Saturday, 30 July 2005 04:39 (twenty years ago)

sbarro is horrid. how it is here is how you described it, trayce.

― oops (Oops), Saturday, 30 July 2005 04:40 (twenty years ago)

i don't get my panties in a twist over authenticity. i like taco bell too! i call it "thinking outside the bun."

― cost fucked madonna (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 30 July 2005 04:43 (twenty years ago)

i wish we had taco bell here :( i love it so

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 30 July 2005 04:44 (twenty years ago)

but "thinking outside the bun" can all too easily lead to "barfing inside the trashbin"

― oops (Oops), Saturday, 30 July 2005 04:45 (twenty years ago)

so does heavy drinking but that doesn't stop anyone

― cost fucked madonna (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 30 July 2005 04:47 (twenty years ago)

i have yet to obtain a giddy buzz from eating a gordita. maybe i'm doing it wrong.

― oops (Oops), Saturday, 30 July 2005 04:49 (twenty years ago)

try pot more

― cost fucked madonna (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 30 July 2005 04:51 (twenty years ago)

if you insist. but there are only so many hours in the day.

― oops (Oops), Saturday, 30 July 2005 04:52 (twenty years ago)

i think you'll have to agree to disagree!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 30 July 2005 04:57 (twenty years ago)

haha it's ok, i don't smoke much anyway.

― cost fucked madonna (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 30 July 2005 04:58 (twenty years ago)

ppl who act like cheap or fried foods are some kind of lethal poison can eat a burrito out my poisonous ass

― 3, Saturday, 30 July 2005 05:02 (twenty years ago)

church's 2 piece and a biscuit, $1.99

― 3, Saturday, 30 July 2005 05:02 (twenty years ago)

Hey, I for one did no such thing - I love me some good chips and a burger with egg and beetroot and such, but Aussies do local, one-off "mom and pop" (if you will) takeaway food shops so much better; it isnt an authenticity thing at all, its just nice food like you'd make it yrself, and often it is pretty cheap too.

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 30 July 2005 05:06 (twenty years ago)

church's 2 piece and a biscuit, $1.99

i'll see your church's and raise you one popeye's.

― cost fucked madonna (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 30 July 2005 05:13 (twenty years ago)

popeyes got a lil too big for their britches w/ that weird redesign and the price hike a couple years back, do we really need shit like a $6 bowl of fast food gumbo?!

― 3, Saturday, 30 July 2005 05:20 (twenty years ago)

i like to imagine bill clinton eating there and wearing sunglasses

― 3, Saturday, 30 July 2005 05:21 (twenty years ago)

I will come to the US (and canada) some day soon, I reckon. And I *do* want to meet up with some of the more foodie among ye ILXors, and I want you to show me REAL american food, and belay all my convictions that it's all fattening franchised junk. I'm sure that isnt so! But when I read people like Tep's cooking adventures I know there's shit I'm missing out on.

Also I want some poutaine.

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 30 July 2005 05:28 (twenty years ago)

popeyes got a lil too big for their britches w/ that weird redesign and the price hike a couple years back, do we really need shit like a $6 bowl of fast food gumbo?!

yeah popeye's heyday was the '80s. there's no reason they should be more expensive now (basic inflation aside); it's not like the food's any better for it.

― cost fucked madonna (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 30 July 2005 05:35 (twenty years ago)

but i live within easy walking distance of a popeye's and a church's... i'll do a taste test this weekend!

― cost fucked madonna (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 30 July 2005 05:38 (twenty years ago)

The Popeyes story began in New Orleans back in 1972, when Al Copeland opened a quick-service restaurant called “Chicken on the Run,” selling traditional mild fried chicken to the folks in small New Orleans suburb of Arabi. But business was slow, and Copeland realized that he’d have to sell a spicier alternative to his standard chicken recipe if he wanted to impress flavor-seeking New Orleanians.

Copeland had already been experimenting with the flavorful Cajun recipes he’d been enjoying all his life and soon reopened his restaurant as "Popeyes,” named after the character Popeye Doyle in the movie “The French Connection.”

― cost fucked madonna (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 30 July 2005 06:03 (twenty years ago)

!!!!!

― I'm Hi, Jared Fogle (ex machina), Saturday, 30 July 2005 07:26 (twenty years ago)

Great. From now on whenever I eat fried chicken, I'm going to think about picking my feet in Poughkeepsie.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Saturday, 30 July 2005 13:00 (twenty years ago)

i'll go to kfc before i go to popeyes. kennedy fried chicken, that is

― ghetty green (eman), Saturday, 30 July 2005 13:46 (twenty years ago)

Church's is just wrong. I'm not big on fried chicken to start with, but when it comes out dripping grease that just ain't right.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Saturday, 30 July 2005 14:00 (twenty years ago)

― ath (ath), Saturday, 30 July 2005 15:04 (twenty years ago)

HAROLD'S

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Saturday, 30 July 2005 15:07 (twenty years ago)

ok also church's is good & popeye's too, in a pinch, & subway less so b/c for the same price i can get a way more meaty and big and tasty sub at the local pizza/sub shack.

i mean v. few fast food joints really DO give you a bang for your buck these days.

i mean the problem with subway is fuuuck if i wanted some lunchmeat and lettuce on bread i'd just go make it myself for cheaper. on the other hand, it's not like i can just go and fry up some chicken on a whim in like 5 minutes, y'know?

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Saturday, 30 July 2005 15:11 (twenty years ago)

eight months pass...

Looks like maybe they are finally replacing Jared with Jon Lovitz?
Hell, I'll take it.

― Joe (Joe), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 11:37 (twenty years ago)

Is Jon Lovitz still kinda fat?

― dave vire think (dave225.3), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 11:45 (twenty years ago)

Subway will fix that, dammit!

― Joe (Joe), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 11:52 (twenty years ago)

You think Subway is bad, try eating at fucking Quizno's. I have eaten there a total of three times and all three made me physically ill. WORST FAST FOOD EVER.

― Mr. Snrub (Mr. Snrub), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 13:34 (twenty years ago)

Fuck off, Quiznos is only like ten million times better than Subway.

The Jon Lovtiz Subway ads are annoying but nowhere near as shoot-the-fukken-Television-like-Elvis annoying as Jared was.

― Rabbi Esteban Buttez (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 13:53 (twenty years ago)

five months pass...

i worry about jared's future.

― real savage-like (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 19:22 (nineteen years ago)

He recently made a cameo appearance for WWE on a WWE.COM clip called "28 Segundos" with the WWE Spanish Announce Team Hugo Savinovich and Carlos Cabrera. He appeared at the end of the video smiling and holding a sub and then ended the video by saying "Now that's not eating fresh!"

― gear (gear), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 19:25 (nineteen years ago)

http://images.barnesandnoble.com/images/11380000/11387652.jpg

This stupid book has been turning up in all of the new releases catalogs . It is haunting my dreams.

― GILLY'S BAGG'EAR VANCE OF COUPARI (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 19:31 (nineteen years ago)

NOT A DIET BOOK! NOT A DIET BOOK! WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?! WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?! WHERE'S MY ELEPHANT?! NOT A DIET BOOK!

― kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 19:33 (nineteen years ago)

Though he is a visible symbol of the company, the Subway Sandwich corporation does not officially endorse Fogle's weight-losing diet.

― real savage-like (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 19:33 (nineteen years ago)

they're setting him up as a fall guy

― THIS IS THE SOUND OF RADIOHEAD BEING BEATEN AT A GAME THEY WEREN'T EVEN BOL (slu, Tuesday, 3 October 2006 19:35 (nineteen years ago)

I watched something the other day where some SNL alum was talking about how Jon Lovitz is like the loudest man ever, even his normal speaking volume is like mega-loud. Now everytime I hear him say "eat FrrrESH!" in the commercials, even when the volume is really low, it hurts my ears a little.

― a naked Kraken annoying Times Square tourists with an acoustic guitar (nickalici, Tuesday, 3 October 2006 19:40 (nineteen years ago)

that page layout is a little off. "not a diet book" is too close to the top of jared's head, and i would move the blue text down to the lower right a bit. there's too much white space to the right and bottom of "anthony bruno."

― real savage-like (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 19:41 (nineteen years ago)

Jesus, Jared, turn the shirt DOWN.

― a naked Kraken annoying Times Square tourists with an acoustic guitar (nickalici, Tuesday, 3 October 2006 19:41 (nineteen years ago)

and i hate how his hand covers up part of the "j" (why is he leaning against a green text box, anyway?).

― real savage-like (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 19:42 (nineteen years ago)

is the main title of teh book Jared, the Subway Guy?

― THIS IS THE SOUND OF RADIOHEAD BEING BEATEN AT A GAME THEY WEREN'T EVEN BOL (slu, Tuesday, 3 October 2006 19:42 (nineteen years ago)

Jared: Make Glorious Eatings Of Sandwiches For Glorious Losing of Weight

― a naked Kraken annoying Times Square tourists with an acoustic guitar (nickalici, Tuesday, 3 October 2006 19:44 (nineteen years ago)

MALARKEY OR EFFECTIVE WAY

― real savage-like (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 3 October 2006 19:45 (nineteen years ago)

I wonder what Jared's "13 Steps" are?

1. force self to pull faces at "fried chicken"
2. masturbate furiously to Land o Lakes girl while crying into pillow
3. take speech classes to pronouce "six inch chicken teriyaki" perfectly
4. cease and desist the drinking of clarified butter
5. make muscles to self in mirror
6. more crying into pillow
7. snake bites
8. purchase and skim yoga book
9. upgrade from NES to SNES
10.change underwear
11.tie hams to ankles
12.rescue variety of rabid dogs from pound
13.weight-losing hilarity ensues

― a naked Kraken annoying Times Square tourists with an acoustic guitar (nickalici, Tuesday, 3 October 2006 19:51 (nineteen years ago)

seven months pass...

He's still on...

― Joe, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 15:46 (nineteen years ago)

ten months pass...

http://www.subway.com/subwayroot/promos/08/win02/subway-w2-jared10-banner.jpg

CONGRATS JARED!

― jhøshea, Sunday, 16 March 2008 18:20 (eighteen years ago)

The revolution will not be downsized.

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 16 March 2008 18:21 (eighteen years ago)

This Jared business, is terrible marketink idea.

― Bodrick III, Sunday, 16 March 2008 18:26 (eighteen years ago)

assumed this was an RIP thread

― J0rdan S., Sunday, 16 March 2008 18:26 (eighteen years ago)

http://i29.tinypic.com/2d9zepc.jpg
http://i30.tinypic.com/2q88sb7.jpg
http://i27.tinypic.com/24xeyqp.jpg

― jhøshea, Sunday, 16 March 2008 18:27 (eighteen years ago)

u guys should really avoid getting on jareds bad side - trust me

― jhøshea, Sunday, 16 March 2008 18:27 (eighteen years ago)

That smile is so fake - it reminds me of those NHS anti-smoking ads where someone has a fishhook in their cheek.

― snoball, Sunday, 16 March 2008 18:30 (eighteen years ago)

jared is love

― jhøshea, Sunday, 16 March 2008 18:31 (eighteen years ago)

There's a life-size free-standing cutout of him smiling hideously in the corner of my all-but-abandoned local franchise.

― calstars, Sunday, 16 March 2008 18:36 (eighteen years ago)

i must have this.

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Sunday, 16 March 2008 19:13 (eighteen years ago)

this might as well be a RIP thread, because those pictures are from the final 'tour de pants'

more levity plz

― deeznuts, Sunday, 16 March 2008 19:20 (eighteen years ago)

The whole thing with the pants is bullshit. He wasn't fat, just into nu-metal.

― Bodrick III, Sunday, 16 March 2008 19:27 (eighteen years ago)

is the swastika tattoo thing true

― s1ocki, Sunday, 16 March 2008 22:20 (eighteen years ago)

What bugs me is the way people who eat at Subway always refer to it by name, ie "I went out and got some Subway," instead of "I went out and got lunch,"--as though it's something to be boasting about. FUCK YOUR SHITTY WEIRD-SMELLING SANDWICHES, MAN!

― James Morrison, Sunday, 16 March 2008 23:20 (eighteen years ago)

I pray for a bio-warfare holocaust just to see Jared's face eaten alive by billions of microbes

― burt_stanton, Sunday, 16 March 2008 23:26 (eighteen years ago)

are you sure you'd be there at the moment of his death

― s1ocki, Sunday, 16 March 2008 23:37 (eighteen years ago)

is the swastika tattoo thing true

-- s1ocki, Sunday, March 16, 2008 10:20 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

― latebloomer, Sunday, 16 March 2008 23:38 (eighteen years ago)

is the swastika tattoo thing true

-- s1ocki, Sunday, March 16, 2008 10:20 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

BAHAHAHAHHAHA classic s1ocki

― sanskrit, Monday, 17 March 2008 00:28 (eighteen years ago)

remember the denis leary wannabe who would drive up to McDonald's and ask for a steak and cheese sandwich? HE was actually worse than Jared.

― Pleasant Plains, Monday, 17 March 2008 00:34 (eighteen years ago)

BAHAHAHAHHAHA classic s1ocki

figured as much, lol

― latebloomer, Monday, 17 March 2008 00:43 (eighteen years ago)

three weeks pass...

http://www.blogrocker.com/blog/uploads/bilder/sub_wayne_01.jpg
http://www.blogrocker.com/blog/uploads/bilder/sub_wayne_01.jpg

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Friday, 11 April 2008 20:19 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.roger-live.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/subwayne_2.jpg

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Friday, 11 April 2008 20:19 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.roger-live.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/subwayne_1.jpg

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Friday, 11 April 2008 20:19 (eighteen years ago)

revive for mandee

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Monday, 14 April 2008 04:08 (eighteen years ago)

it looks like an anthropomorphic alien cock

― latebloomer, Monday, 14 April 2008 14:18 (eighteen years ago)

NICHT SO FRISCH, SUBWAY

― Abbott, Monday, 14 April 2008 18:06 (eighteen years ago)

What in fucking fuck is that?

― James Morrison, Monday, 14 April 2008 23:56 (eighteen years ago)

two months pass...

Little Pants, Big Heart

I saw you on the tele-tube,
I knew you ate the yummy food,
I saw you lost weight and looked good,
You did and so could I dude.

You went from thick and then to thin,
You walked all over and walked right in,
To my heart and to my den,
And gave me thoughts akin with sin,

I lost some weight, not as much anyhow,
Such hope you gave this little cow,
Your curtain has fallen so take a bow,
You’re eating fresh with angels now

Amanda J. – Hartford, CT

― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 18 June 2008 14:30 (eighteen years ago)

REPRAZENT

― David R., Wednesday, 18 June 2008 14:41 (eighteen years ago)

http://jaredremembered.com/

(note: he's not dead at all)

― StanM, Wednesday, 18 June 2008 18:27 (eighteen years ago)

RIP big guy

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/webscout/2008/06/of-all-the-peop.html

― James Mitchell, Thursday, 26 June 2008 08:45 (seventeen years ago)

one year passes...

Jared the Subway Guy Is Engaged!

― mookieproof, Friday, 8 January 2010 23:54 (sixteen years ago)

6-grams-of-fat-or-lessssss

― LL Cool Beans (PappaWheelie V), Saturday, 9 January 2010 04:10 (sixteen years ago)

three years pass...

jared was across the street from my house today at the local elementary school, giving a talk about healthy eating

― 1 P.3. Eternal (roxymuzak), Thursday, 19 September 2013 23:20 (twelve years ago)

my friend is the art teacher at said school and had her picture made with him with a GIANT sandwich prop she painted specifically and hilariously for the event

― 1 P.3. Eternal (roxymuzak), Thursday, 19 September 2013 23:21 (twelve years ago)

That unbearable "5 dollar foot longs" jingle makes me miss Jared.

― Fetchboy, Thursday, 19 September 2013 23:33 (twelve years ago)

painted giant sandwich prop sounds awesome

― Spectrum, Thursday, 19 September 2013 23:36 (twelve years ago)

Totally. plz share pic if you get a copy.

― Fetchboy, Thursday, 19 September 2013 23:43 (twelve years ago)

http://s1354.photobucket.com/user/tinyservants/media/jared01_zpsad8db019.jpg.html

― slam dunk, Friday, 20 September 2013 00:05 (twelve years ago)

http://i1354.photobucket.com/albums/q686/tinyservants/jared01_zpsad8db019.jpg

― slam dunk, Friday, 20 September 2013 00:07 (twelve years ago)

THANK YOU

― balls, Friday, 20 September 2013 00:10 (twelve years ago)

my understanding is that a couple of the final contestants on "million second quiz" (nbc's seacrest-hosted quiz show trainwreck, the finale of which is tonight) have been there roughly a week and a half, where "there" = "confined to a giant hourglass-shaped set atop a parking garage in hell's kitchen, eating virtually nothing but catered subway the entire time"

― scream blahula scream (govern yourself accordingly), Friday, 20 September 2013 00:20 (twelve years ago)

one year passes...

Prescient thread title.

― something totally new, it’s the AOR of the twenty first century (tipsy mothra), Tuesday, 7 July 2015 16:11 (ten years ago)

one month passes...

Jared Fogle, the former Subway spokesman, is expected to plead guilty to charges related to child pornography, a source with knowledge of the situation told ABC News today.

Fogle, 37, gained national fame when he lost a significant amount of weight by eating turkey and vegetable sandwiches from Subway and exercising. He was first featured in ads for the company in 2000.

Subway suspended its relationship with Fogle in early July after law enforcement agents raided his Zionsville, Indiana, home as part of what two sources briefed on the investigation told ABC News was an ongoing investigation into child pornography.

― hunangarage, Tuesday, 18 August 2015 23:24 (ten years ago)

CNN live right now saying that it sounds like this will involve sex w/minors and traveling to produce the stuff too. this is fucking so gross, yuck.

― Ma$e-en-scène (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 19 August 2015 13:56 (ten years ago)

Fogle, 37, gained national fame when he lost a significant amount of weight by eating turkey and vegetable sandwiches

what a country

― j., Wednesday, 19 August 2015 14:10 (ten years ago)

Between 2011 and 2013, Fogle also repeatedly sent text messages to other escorts, "soliciting them to provide him with access to minors as young as 14 to 15 years," the document said, adding that he would only make such requests after engaging in sex acts with the escorts to "insure that they were not undercover police officers."

The document also alleged that Fogle on multiple occasions received sexually explicit images and videos produced by Russell Taylor, 43, who ran the charitable Jared Foundation. The foundation sought to raise awareness about childhood obesity and arranged for Fogle to visit schools and urge children to adopt healthy eating and exercise habits.

― something totally new, it’s the AOR of the twenty first century (tipsy mothra), Wednesday, 19 August 2015 15:13 (ten years ago)

Every time one of these scandals hits, my first reaction is "BAN ALL ADULTS FROM INTERACTING WITH CHILDREN". Which is silly. But still.

― I Am Curious (Dolezal) (DJP), Wednesday, 19 August 2015 16:08 (ten years ago)

I never understood the jared fogle thing, it always seemed odd that subway would make such a charisma vacuum into their ronald mcdonald

― nomar, Wednesday, 19 August 2015 16:24 (ten years ago)

"Obviously, I am extremely shocked and disappointed by the recent developments involving Jared. I am in the process of seeking a dissolution of the marriage," Fogle says in a statement. "My focus is exclusively on the well-being of my children. Neither I nor my family will have any further comment on the matter. I appreciate respect for my family's privacy during this difficult time."

― hunangarage, Wednesday, 19 August 2015 16:27 (ten years ago)

That's his wife, I assume?

― One bad call from barely losing to (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 19 August 2015 18:08 (ten years ago)

Iirc ive read Jared endured as a pitchman cuz when yer a company reminding people you exist rather than convincing people to try you out, you don't want anything too of the moment - or too popular within a moment - lest you fail to transcend that moment and became dated. That's why Wendy's quashed where's the beef lest people said "oh Wendy's so 80s". So jared was just the right kind of timeless mediocrity - not unlike Dave Thomas in later Wendy's ads. It's probably to wrong to infer too much from it, but the way this story welds the banality of evil and the evil of banality is just so eerie to me. That this creep was put in a powerful position he never would have managed otherwise just by being so generically "okay".

― da croupier, Wednesday, 19 August 2015 18:37 (ten years ago)

"BAN ALL ADULTS FROM INTERACTING WITH CHILDREN". Which is silly. But still.

banning celebrity adults from interacting with children perhaps more reasonable

― Οὖτις, Wednesday, 19 August 2015 18:37 (ten years ago)

j. already made my post, but just to say it again:

gained national fame when he lost a significant amount of weight by eating turkey and vegetable sandwiches

― pplains, Wednesday, 19 August 2015 18:42 (ten years ago)

I know it's kind of an awful generalization, but it strikes me as wise to maybe run a second or even a third background check on someone you plan on doing business with if that someone looks like they walked directly out of a Dan Clowes comic.

― Do you have or use horses? (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 19 August 2015 18:43 (ten years ago)

presumably he wasn't busted for child porn before!

― balls, Wednesday, 19 August 2015 21:28 (ten years ago)

i did like the revelation from some old profile that got new life when the bust happened that jared was this fat guy on campus who had this insanely huge porn collection so huge that he actually rented it out (this is in ye olden days when you would have to rent or buy porn) and the reason he happened on the 'subway diet' is there was literally a subway downstairs from his apartment which he generally didn't leave much.

― balls, Wednesday, 19 August 2015 21:30 (ten years ago)

In college during the nascent digital age there was a fat guy in a neighboring dorm who hoarded porn and traded his images for images of cats. Not Jared.

― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 19 August 2015 21:37 (ten years ago)

― Do you have or use horses? (Old Lunch), Wednesday, August 19, 2015 11:43 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

wow great opinion

― brimstead, Wednesday, 19 August 2015 21:53 (ten years ago)

was half-expecting him to blame the sweet onion teriyaki sauce for causing his addiction to child porn

― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Wednesday, 19 August 2015 21:53 (ten years ago)

"it was when subway revealed to me that their avocado spread was actually baby diarrhea that i realized i had developed a taste for children's asses"

― balls, Wednesday, 19 August 2015 22:00 (ten years ago)

just gonna apologize immediately for that

― balls, Wednesday, 19 August 2015 22:00 (ten years ago)

as you should

― drash, Wednesday, 19 August 2015 22:01 (ten years ago)

The word avocado comes from a Nahuatl Indian (Aztec) word "ahuácatl" meaning testicle.

― polyphonic, Wednesday, 19 August 2015 22:06 (ten years ago)

Sadly this seems to no longer be working

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CMxvMSFXAAEVeQs.png:large

― polyphonic, Wednesday, 19 August 2015 22:09 (ten years ago)

omg

― drash, Wednesday, 19 August 2015 22:10 (ten years ago)

trust-me trousers amirite

― Yul Brynner playing table tennis with a deviled kidney (imago), Wednesday, 19 August 2015 22:17 (ten years ago)

what kind of sick monster styles an em-dash that way

― polyphonic, Wednesday, 19 August 2015 22:22 (ten years ago)

I never understood the jared fogle thing, it always seemed odd that subway would make such a charisma vacuum into their ronald mcdonald

― nomar, Wednesday, August 19, 2015 12:24 PM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

They do have a marketing department. I'd be willing to bet that testing shows that charisma vacuums are their target audience.

― Evan, Wednesday, 19 August 2015 22:43 (ten years ago)

it's subway for chrissakes

― a silly gif of awkward larping (Sparkle Motion), Wednesday, 19 August 2015 22:45 (ten years ago)

society is in the subway

― Yul Brynner playing table tennis with a deviled kidney (imago), Wednesday, 19 August 2015 22:46 (ten years ago)

interpol predicted this years ago

― polyphonic, Wednesday, 19 August 2015 22:48 (ten years ago)

don't really like liking to vice, but i do find this article interesting in a really unpleasant way.
http://www.vice.com/read/how-jared-fogle-will-get-treated-in-prison-820

― ian, Thursday, 20 August 2015 18:19 (ten years ago)

Chomeboy!

― how's life, Thursday, 20 August 2015 20:34 (ten years ago)

I feel like there's a new Subway spokesperson in our midst, he just has yet to be recognized by corporate marketing

― Upright Mammal (mh), Thursday, 20 August 2015 21:08 (ten years ago)

i saw a guy named brian on a billboard today, he looked like he was going places

― j., Thursday, 20 August 2015 21:11 (ten years ago)

Did not know FCC-FC was Child Molester Central. That's where T.I. went.

― pplains, Thursday, 20 August 2015 23:31 (ten years ago)

In the Sodexo cafeteria in my building, there is a standee of a smiling woman with the nearly-illegible signature 'Ellie' scrawled on it. She'd be a good fit for the job, I think.

― how's life, Thursday, 20 August 2015 23:43 (ten years ago)

I've talked to my people, Whiney is a lock for the new spokesperson

― μpright mammal (mh), Thursday, 20 August 2015 23:58 (ten years ago)

can't go wrong with an ellie

she just likes healthy sandwiches

― j., Friday, 21 August 2015 01:43 (ten years ago)

http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-470153.html

ran across this following something from a Gawker leak - I understand coping mechanisms but it's amazing how many people are convinced their husband/kid/brother is doing 5-10 because "some guy" sent him kiddie porn and it's a goddamn witch hunt/etc..

― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Friday, 21 August 2015 06:59 (ten years ago)

FB feed now full of the pic of him with GWB, like this implicates GWB as a pedalo or something.

― suffeeciant attreebution (aldo), Friday, 21 August 2015 08:49 (ten years ago)

Well, you do remember when a first lady killed a bunch of dudes and buried them under the White House.

http://i.imgur.com/sCLPS5E.jpg

― pplains, Friday, 21 August 2015 12:06 (ten years ago)

Funny enough, GWB's wife only first lady to have actually killed a dude.

― pplains, Friday, 21 August 2015 12:07 (ten years ago)

that we know about, at least - roslynn carter looks like a motherfucker with some dark secrets to me

― bizarro gazzara, Friday, 21 August 2015 12:13 (ten years ago)

one month passes...

What's great about that photo in the ad is that you know that was the best shot they got out of that session. The rest of the pictures made children cry.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Wednesday, July 27, 2005 5:45 PM (10 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The Leophoenix post of the thread

― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Saturday, 26 September 2015 23:47 (ten years ago)

five months pass...

ten years ago, if someone had told me that in ten years I would read the news headline 'Jared Fogle beaten in prison brawl,' I would've lol'd in disbelief

today, I lol in belief

― del griffith, Wednesday, 16 March 2016 16:08 (ten years ago)

Think he's gotten any prison ink yet?

― Darkest Cosmologist junk (kingfish), Wednesday, 16 March 2016 16:28 (ten years ago)

crowing over the mistreatment of a prisoner, no matter what he or she has done, is a bad look, fellas.

― wizzz! (amateurist), Wednesday, 16 March 2016 18:04 (ten years ago)

most fucked up part of the story i read about was an allusion to the apparently evil stepmother of the guy who beat him up:

Nigg, who is serving time for a gun conviction tied to a decades-old Arizona crime spree, walked away from fracas unscathed, save for a cut-up hand, but was punished with solitary confinement, the site reported.
Nigg is slated for a 2024 release from federal custody while Fogle will have to wait out an additional five years to wrap up his sentence for charges related to possessing child pornography and having sex with underage prostitutes.
Nigg initially served time from 1976 to 1990 when he and an accomplice robbed a Maricopa County motel clerk, two convenience stores and a gas station. He moved to Wausau, Wis., where his father had lived, married a woman and began working at a consignment shop.
When his father died, Nigg’s string of good luck ran out, according to his appeal in the Seventh Circuit court.
“In a somewhat cruel twist of fate, the estate included over 120 firearms,” according to court documents.
Through his shop, he sold two guns to a private investigator hired by his stepmother. The sale led to his arrest and an eventual guilty plea.

― nomar, Wednesday, 16 March 2016 18:10 (ten years ago)

Well it sure will be wild when Jared gets released and his great-uncle dies, bequeathing to him a huge pile of C.P.

― pplains, Wednesday, 16 March 2016 18:12 (ten years ago)

And that stepmother? Mrs. Ethel Fogle, the birth mother of former Subway spokesman Jared Fogle. And that's the rest of the story. Good day!

― Horse Throat (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 16 March 2016 18:13 (ten years ago)

lol

I kinda miss Paul Harvey

― Οὖτις, Wednesday, 16 March 2016 18:18 (ten years ago)

crowing over the mistreatment of a prisoner, no matter what he or she has done, is a bad look, fellas.

Word.

― bearded flack trickster god (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Thursday, 17 March 2016 04:39 (ten years ago)

interpol predicted this years ago

― polyphonic, Wednesday, August 19, 2015

just saw this.

― scott seward, Thursday, 17 March 2016 04:59 (ten years ago)

I am still confused by how long the investigation went on before the FBI actually arrested him. I feel like the conversations that woman recorded would have been enough to justify a search warrant.

― Treeship, Thursday, 17 March 2016 06:13 (ten years ago)

I guess they were "building a case" so they could seriously nail him with manor charges. Still seems odd to leav someone like that at large for so long when we're locking up drug offenders.

― Treeship, Thursday, 17 March 2016 06:17 (ten years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v212/etienne_saint/Screen%20Shot%202016-03-16%20at%2011.17.40%20PM_zpsmx6xdmkm.png

― nomar, Thursday, 17 March 2016 06:19 (ten years ago)

lol i read that and went "what did fred durst do?"

― (The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Thursday, 17 March 2016 06:37 (ten years ago)

how soon we forget

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEGI9NbH-mk

― wizzz! (amateurist), Thursday, 17 March 2016 06:38 (ten years ago)

http://www.starwipe.com/article/culture-prison-violence-delights-civilized-justice-2297

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 17 March 2016 13:17 (ten years ago)

just this week i have had long conversations w both a prison guard and a parolee (for a sexual offense), and pretty much everything you've heard about prison violence is true, or worse

― jason waterfalls (gbx), Thursday, 17 March 2016 14:13 (ten years ago)

Is that Tool video accurate, that's what I want to know.

― pplains, Thursday, 17 March 2016 14:15 (ten years ago)

haven't a clue

what i did hear is that in the first few weeks of imprisonment, in the diagnostic unit where long-term housing determinations are made, prisoners didn't typically know that their fellow inmates had been convicted of. unless, that is, they were sex offenders, in which case the guards would pin up newspaper clippings to the bulletin board

― jason waterfalls (gbx), Thursday, 17 March 2016 14:19 (ten years ago)

just wanna clear my good name here and say that I'm not advocating prison violence, no sir, not my style. I'm just saying that regardless of circumstance, everything the personality Jared Fogle ever does, whether that includes being beaten in a prison brawl or just sitting there peacefully in a comfy chair with his hands folded and his big ol Jared Fogle face all over his face, it will be funny

― del griffith, Thursday, 17 March 2016 14:35 (ten years ago)

i can think of a few things he's done that aren't, and never can be, funny

― jason waterfalls (gbx), Thursday, 17 March 2016 14:37 (ten years ago)

Prison violence is a disgrace no matter who the target is.

― Treeship, Thursday, 17 March 2016 15:01 (ten years ago)

prison violence is actually extremely lit

― extremely online (Lamp), Thursday, 17 March 2016 15:06 (ten years ago)

I had been avoiding this story and am boggling that Jared got beat up by someone named Nigg (who I really, really hope is not black)

― i like to trump and i am crazy (DJP), Thursday, 17 March 2016 15:13 (ten years ago)

he is not (afaik)

― There was a hole bunch of problems whit his campaigns (crüt), Thursday, 17 March 2016 15:23 (ten years ago)

Is he Vietnamese?

― pplains, Thursday, 17 March 2016 15:40 (ten years ago)

Violence is bad no matter who gets beaten, the race of the assailant, the name of the assailant, whether the violence occurred inside or outside of a prison, or whether or not the victim likes sandwiches or child pornography or child prostitution, that's my opinion on the issue

― del griffith, Thursday, 17 March 2016 15:50 (ten years ago)

cosigned

― wizzz! (amateurist), Thursday, 17 March 2016 17:41 (ten years ago)

i don't feel bad for him exactly but man jared fogle has got to be #1 on the "least suited for a prison fight" list

― nomar, Thursday, 17 March 2016 17:47 (ten years ago)

I am against the death penalty and do not advocate this in any way but does anyone really think he's going to survive in prison for 5 years cuz I don't

― Οὖτις, Thursday, 17 March 2016 17:48 (ten years ago)

i'm not sure but i think he's more likely to die of a heart attack than a shiv

― nomar, Thursday, 17 March 2016 17:50 (ten years ago)

also he's in there til 2029 at the minimum, he'd be released when he's in his early fifties.

― nomar, Thursday, 17 March 2016 17:50 (ten years ago)

he's going to starve without sweet onion teriyaki sauce

― There was a hole bunch of problems whit his campaigns (crüt), Thursday, 17 March 2016 17:50 (ten years ago)

Treeship kool-aid mans into thread with "guys, have some empathy for the child-fucking sandwich man"

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Thursday, 17 March 2016 18:00 (ten years ago)

i'm opposed to the horrific conditions in america's prisons, what can i say

btw i'm glad i caught you. the other day when i came home my roommate tried to put glasses on his pitbull to take a photo of it. the dog was already wearing one of other friend's plaid shirts. this hipster puppies trend has really lasted

― Treeship, Thursday, 17 March 2016 18:11 (ten years ago)

http://thisdayintechhistory.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/mortal_kombat_finish_him.png

― T.L.O.P.son (Phil D.), Thursday, 17 March 2016 18:16 (ten years ago)

second part was not a burn. anyone who knows me knows i love dogs and pictures of dogs.

― Treeship, Thursday, 17 March 2016 18:20 (ten years ago)

Yeahhh, I guess I'm just the kind of person who thinks that good things are good and bad things are bad. I suppose I'm a lot like Jesus Christ in that way? What can I say...

― del griffith, Thursday, 17 March 2016 18:32 (ten years ago)

i don't understand the controversy here

― Treeship, Thursday, 17 March 2016 18:35 (ten years ago)

i won't begrudge anyone a bit of schadenfreude about terrible things happening to terrible people, it just shouldn't be institutionalized

― jason waterfalls (gbx), Thursday, 17 March 2016 18:59 (ten years ago)

yeah, that's fair

― Treeship, Thursday, 17 March 2016 19:14 (ten years ago)

right, prison abuse is awful for many of the same reasons that capital punishment is awful. the state shouldn't be in the business of institutionalizing retribution.

― wizzz! (amateurist), Friday, 18 March 2016 05:14 (ten years ago)

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