Are ilxors deluded?

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I was one of the first posters, and I went on to be a fairly regular poster on ilx, but stopped when I changed jobs. This afternoon, I decided to come back to look at this site FOTS. It's astounding how silly ilx is now - and far, far less diverting. How aware of ilx is the rest of the world, on and off line, really - I ask because it appears the current ilxors believe many more people are taking notice of what's said here than is actually the case.

― Ford Anon, Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:05 (twenty years ago)

It's a circumscribed community, but a community nonetheless. Sometimes serious, sometimes silly. Nobody believes their posts are gonna get quoted in the New York Times. Are you sure you're not just getting down on the You of Yesteryear?

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:11 (twenty years ago)

governments tremble at the very mention of the name 'ken c'. that's how high we (t)roll.

― Big Head (Enrique), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:12 (twenty years ago)

For what it's worth, wasn't this the first post on ILE?

I love having my dog lick peanut butter off my balls

― The Brocade Fire (kate), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:12 (twenty years ago)

I ask because it appears the current ilxors believe many more people are taking notice of what's said here than is actually the case

What gives you that impression, you silly person you

― Dadaismus (Dada), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:13 (twenty years ago)

I have no illusions that this site is worthless. Fun but worthless. I certainly haven't picked up on on this inflated sense of self you mention.

― Come Back Johnny B (Johnney B), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:13 (twenty years ago)

It's astounding how silly ilx is now

Yes, this all happened when YOU went away and Logged Out came to take your place. It's all YOUR fault.

― nathalie, a bum like you (stevie nixed), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:14 (twenty years ago)

Are ilxors eluded?
Are ilxors secluded?
Are ilxors reloaded?
Are ilxors included?
Are ilxors putrid?
Are ilxors downloaded?
Are ilxors fucked hard with ornate spikes?
Are ilxors moderated?

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:14 (twenty years ago)

you've never been on ilx on your life and you're just another tedious troll so sock off.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:14 (twenty years ago)

or even "in your life."

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:15 (twenty years ago)

I once had a RL friend say "I blame it on HStencil" b/c he lurked around on ILM and ILX and thought it a catchy/meaningless catchphrase. My friend was unaware that I actually knew him and it was a bizarre convergance of worlds.

― Miss Misery (thatgirl), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:17 (twenty years ago)

My Mum has started saying 'U R all teh gheye' at her coffee mornings.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:19 (twenty years ago)

The only part of ILX that has any offline 'fame' is ILM, and that only minor name recognition among part of the music-critic crowd. I wouldn't even have believed that until I went to the EMP conference and loads of people knew what it was and/or actually read it.

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:20 (twenty years ago)

or even "instead of your life"

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:21 (twenty years ago)

'I blame it on HStencil' is uttered from the stage at ILX and the whole community dissolves into laughter as if loveable old Australian comedian had said 'Strike me lucky!'

It is a unifying moment, truly the catchphrase that brings us all together, except of course for HStencil, who lives in a constant sense of alienation and wishes the phrase had never caught on. I am speculating here.

― moley, Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:22 (twenty years ago)

Perhaps more a constant state of paranoia.

― Teh HoBB (the pirate king), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:25 (twenty years ago)

Well... on this "date" I went on earlier this week, not only had the boy heard of ILX, but knew several of the regulars. And he was someone random from the interweb.

So... I think, although the "general population" at large are quite unaware of us, in the "internet population" especially the "music focused and especially indie pop focused internet population" ILX is quite notorious.

― The Brocade Fire (kate), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:25 (twenty years ago)

What I am certain to get worldwide fame for is my INTERNET ENDURANCE. I will go down in history for the sheer massiveness of devoted time-blocks. I work it like an ox in the yoke.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:25 (twenty years ago)

My Mum has started saying 'U R all teh gheye' at her coffee mornings.
-- Sociah T Azzahole (stevem7...), September 29th, 2005.

you owe me a keyboard

― N_RQ (Enrique), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:25 (twenty years ago)

Is the rest of the world deluded that ilx actually takes notice of it?

― salexander (salexander), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:25 (twenty years ago)

i think the new york times has actually quoted ilx, no? ilm is mentioned relatively often in the newspapers, eg during the MIA wars.

― N_RQ (Enrique), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:27 (twenty years ago)

anyone can get in the New York Times though.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:28 (twenty years ago)

'I blame it on HStencil' is uttered from the stage at ILX and the whole community dissolves into laughter as if loveable old Australian comedian had said 'Strike me lucky!'
It is a unifying moment, truly the catchphrase that brings us all together, except of course for HStencil, who lives in a constant sense of alienation and wishes the phrase had never caught on. I am speculating here.
-- moley (mol...), September 29th, 2005.

Perhaps more a constant state of paranoia.
-- Teh HoBB (j__...), September 29th, 2005.

He would have nightmares where he looks into the mirror, and then he says to himself, very slowly and deliberately, 'I blame HStencil.' Then the mirror explodes into a thousand shards, and with it, his own face. Then he wakes, in a state of terror, bathed in sweat, in the cold blue light of a bad Disney movie.

― moley, Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:30 (twenty years ago)

Many people from all around the world who are seeking hair dye advice actually do come here, and they do take notice of what people here say to them.

Dear old original poster, what I find is that the signal here has stayed roughly the same, but the noise has increased a fair bit over the years.

I don't think anyone is deluding themselves that this (ILE, that is) is or was anything much more that a place for office workers of a certain mental outlook to goof off, basically.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:32 (twenty years ago)

I don't think anyone is deluding themselves that this (ILE, that is) is or was anything much more that a place for office workers of a certain mental outlook to goof off, basically.

Pretty much. The outside world doesn't really take much notice, except for maybe random googlers who email me to ask "R U teh real O'so Krispie?".

― O'so Krispie (Ex Leon), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:39 (twenty years ago)

Well... on this "date" I went on earlier this week, not only had the boy heard of ILX, but knew several of the regulars

I'm now intrigued as to who you might be referring to.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:39 (twenty years ago)

It's also a key site for those wanting to talk to John Cena, of course.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:40 (twenty years ago)

When Dick Cheney was recently accused of not caring enough about Hurricane victims, he told the press, "I can't make my face turn into a heart!"

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:40 (twenty years ago)

Don't worry, Matt, he only knows people on another continent.

― The Brocade Fire (kate), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:40 (twenty years ago)

Get the P-R-E-S-S out of my fucking way.

― salexander (salexander), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:46 (twenty years ago)

A zillion newspapers from all around the world wrote about one of the threads on I Love Books, and some people came to sniff around, but then we scared them all away cuz we iz freeks.

― scott seward (scott seward), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:48 (twenty years ago)

The Summarise a Novel in 25 Words thread. But bookish types are rather scarey.

― salexander (salexander), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:49 (twenty years ago)

actually i was quoted in the observer for something i said here. so, yeah.

― cutty (mcutt), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:50 (twenty years ago)

Good On You! How very post-modern that ordinary people can have their 15 minutes. Or sound-bite.

― salexander (salexander), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:52 (twenty years ago)

I am deluded

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:52 (twenty years ago)

i am not ordinary.

― cutty (mcutt), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:53 (twenty years ago)

you are deluded

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:54 (twenty years ago)

That was not an insult or implication that you are *boring*. Deluded and deranged perhaps. J/k. Anyway these days those who are extraordinary are ordinary. So if you are ordinary you are extraordinary.

― salexander (salexander), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:55 (twenty years ago)

I once had a RL friend say "I blame it on HStencil" b/c he lurked around on ILM and ILX and thought it a catchy/meaningless catchphrase.

Are you for real? This is the best thing I've heard in 3 days!

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:56 (twenty years ago)

I am denuded.

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 29 September 2005 12:58 (twenty years ago)

I want to be a debaser.

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Thursday, 29 September 2005 13:00 (twenty years ago)

Ooh-ah that sounds risque.

― salexander (salexander), Thursday, 29 September 2005 13:01 (twenty years ago)

i had my first "are you ken c??" a couple of months ago. that was cool!

brings me back to the old sinister days.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 29 September 2005 13:02 (twenty years ago)

Slicing up eyeballs I suppose?

― salexander (salexander), Thursday, 29 September 2005 13:02 (twenty years ago)

This board was once SERIOUS?

― chap who would dare to thwart the revolution (chap), Thursday, 29 September 2005 13:21 (twenty years ago)

Yes. Just the once.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 29 September 2005 13:22 (twenty years ago)

I dunno, but this morning I'm feeling a little diluted. When will I learn not to drink on school nights?!?

― Laurel (Laurel), Thursday, 29 September 2005 13:23 (twenty years ago)

Laurel, I was waiting for someone to make that joke.

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 29 September 2005 13:26 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, me too. I can't believe the thread went to nearly 50 posts with no joy, finally had to throw myself into the line of fire. And I *am* hungover this morning.

― Laurel (Laurel), Thursday, 29 September 2005 13:30 (twenty years ago)

Nobody believes their posts are gonna get quoted in the New York Times.

The scary thing was that one of mine was, the day after 9/11. That still skeeves the hell out of me.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 29 September 2005 13:39 (twenty years ago)

That would've been/will be the first copycat thread title. (xpost)

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 29 September 2005 13:39 (twenty years ago)

Hi my fav poster is marcello carlton, the way he always makes other people feel bad in his own comedic gesturers is just genous i think he is perhaps one of the the greatest that the internet has to offer.

― big marcello carlton fan, Thursday, 29 September 2005 13:45 (twenty years ago)

I once had a RL friend say "I blame it on HStencil" b/c he lurked around on ILM and ILX and thought it a catchy/meaningless catchphrase.
I hate to nitpick, but isn't this a little bit off? I thought the correct meme was simply "I blame hstencil" or, better yet, "I blame stencil." That "on" is bugging me.

marcello carlton, your friendly Scottish doorman.

― k/l (Ken L), Thursday, 29 September 2005 13:55 (twenty years ago)

I never assume that anyone knows what ILX is, unless it's a music critic, and then I say things like, "you saw that ILM thread about you, right?" But even with them, I never assume that they know that there's more to ILX than just ILM.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 29 September 2005 13:58 (twenty years ago)

yes, you are all deluded.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 29 September 2005 14:00 (twenty years ago)

Not one single person who I know irl knows anything whatsoever about ilx and ilm.
then again about 94% of them don't know anything whatsoever about the internet.

what pash said. why would anyone here be deluded?

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 29 September 2005 14:03 (twenty years ago)

because it's fun?

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 29 September 2005 14:04 (twenty years ago)

i thought i blamed hstencil, but perhaps i am deluded

― yuengling participle (rotten03), Thursday, 29 September 2005 14:20 (twenty years ago)

um, well yeah i don't hate fun. if you do it for fun then hey, go nuts!

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 29 September 2005 14:25 (twenty years ago)

Yay fun!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 29 September 2005 14:38 (twenty years ago)

I just saw a couple of posts by people I met in real life. That's kind of weird.

― A Nairn (moretap), Thursday, 29 September 2005 14:44 (twenty years ago)

Are ilxors deluded?

YES!!!

― "in your life", Thursday, 29 September 2005 14:49 (twenty years ago)

ilxors have active real lives. waking up in the morning, masturbating, crying, crying while masturbating, driving, masturbating while driving, masturbating while parked, crying while parking, then masturbating and crying some more, getting drunk, drunkenly hitting on MILFs (cf. conseikio) who are with their families at Sizzler, getting beat up by angry MILF-husbands and tossed onto the sidewalk outside of Sizzler, crying in pain and masturbating onto the sidewalk, getting arrested for indecent exposure, hauled off in a squad car, kicking at the windows in the squad car, giving up, masturbating while handcuffed in backseat of squad car, tossed into the drunk tank, masturbating in drunk tank, crying, masturbating again, talking to shamed yet still financially supportive parents on the phone, bail getting posted, going home, masturbating, crying softly and then falling asleep. and more of that the next day. some ilxors also have jobs.

― gear (gear), Thursday, 29 September 2005 14:55 (twenty years ago)

You fuckin' liar. That's one bout of masturbation too many.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:02 (twenty years ago)

more liek too few am i rite?

― Are ilxors deluded?, Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:04 (twenty years ago)

it's like you can see into my soul.

(xpost ned too, usually)

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:05 (twenty years ago)

*wonders whether mark refers to lying, delusions or masturbation*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:06 (twenty years ago)

Can't it be all three?

― O'so Krispie (Ex Leon), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:13 (twenty years ago)

I support West Ham, I'm deluded.

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:19 (twenty years ago)

Can't it be all three?

True enough. I'm trying to imagine what a deluded bout of lying masturbation involves.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:26 (twenty years ago)

Ben & Jerry's and suicidegirls.com.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:27 (twenty years ago)

Straight-Up Pleasure. It's the only kind of masturbation to have. Who ever heard of truthful masturbation?
I'm trying to stay away from the "cutting your own hair c/d" thread so I won't be denuded.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:28 (twenty years ago)

don't EVEN try and take our ludes away. I'd rather be deloused and denuded.

― scott seward (scott seward), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:29 (twenty years ago)

eating a pint of ben and jerry's while sitting at your desk and masturbating to suicide girls, we've all been there

― gear (gear), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:30 (twenty years ago)

Oh baby oh baby don't stop

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:32 (twenty years ago)

Grubby jubblies, Chubby Hubby and a chubby: the average ILXor's weekend.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:33 (twenty years ago)

Don't forget the crying.

x-post

― O'so Krispie (Ex Leon), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:33 (twenty years ago)

This is what that Sugarcubes song "Fucking in Rhythm and Sorrow" was really about, wasn't it.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:36 (twenty years ago)

I don't know, but masturbating to pictures of Bjork is probably one of the activities Gear forgot to add to that list upthread.

― O'so Krispie (Ex Leon), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:37 (twenty years ago)

Bjerking off?

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:38 (twenty years ago)

bjork doesn't get me off, too much elfin yelping is distracting.

― gear (gear), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:38 (twenty years ago)

Bjork isn't on suicidegirls.com? (Or Einar?)

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:39 (twenty years ago)

SPEAKERS: "SQQQQUEAK!"

LYING DELUDING ILXOR: "Grunt."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:39 (twenty years ago)

I love the idea that Einar and his 'trumpet' are some sort of fetish object.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:39 (twenty years ago)

"I WAS SQUEAKY CLEAN!"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:40 (twenty years ago)

Einar Orn: Trumpet Strumpet

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:41 (twenty years ago)

dear god, people.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:41 (twenty years ago)

We're sorry to disturb you. Besides, Deus does not exist.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:42 (twenty years ago)

But, if he did, he'd be on suicidegirls.com

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:43 (twenty years ago)

Maybe he already is.

― O'so Krispie (Ex Leon), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:43 (twenty years ago)

But Douche, it seems, is well represented.
Where's fordanon? Has he wandered away in disgust and denuded despair?

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:43 (twenty years ago)

Are ilxors delighted?

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:44 (twenty years ago)

Who couldn't be delighted by Douche.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:45 (twenty years ago)

(Especially if it's the Lysol kind, but that goes without saying.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:45 (twenty years ago)

LYSOL DOUCHE does not exit.
But if he does, he lives in the sky above me,
In the fattest largest cloud up there.
He's whiter than white and cleaner then clean.
He wants to reach me.

LYSOL DOUCHE does not exist.
But if he does I always notice him.
Getting ready in his airy room.
He's picking his gloves so gently off.
He wants to touch me.

I'm walking humbly down a tiny street
Pulling my collar it gets bigger, woooh

I once met him,
It really surprised me,
He put me in a bath tub,
Made me squeeky clean,
Really clean.

To create a universe
You must taste
The forbidden fruit.

He said hi. I said hi,
I was still clean.

LYSOL DOUCHE does not exist,
But if he does he'd want to get down from that cloud,
First marzipan fingers then marble hands,
More silent than silence and slower than slow,
Diving towards me.

My collar is huge room for two hands,
They start at the chest and move slowly down.

I thought I had seen everything,
He wasn't white and fluffy,
He just had side burns,
He just had side burns,
And a quiff,
He said hi.
I said hi. I was still clean,
I was squeeky clean.
I was surprised.
Just as you would be.

LYSOL DOUCHE, LYSOL DOUCHE, LYSOL DOUCHE, LYSOL DOUCHE
He does not exist

― The Ghost of XPOST (Dan Perry), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:47 (twenty years ago)

I love you beyond all words.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:48 (twenty years ago)

Haha omg.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:49 (twenty years ago)

TS: Marzipan fingers vs Marble hands

― The Ghost of Ooh Er (Dan Perry), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:49 (twenty years ago)

Dead Ringers starring Bjork.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:50 (twenty years ago)

That really would make me cry.

― O'so Krispie (Ex Leon), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:52 (twenty years ago)

You sideburns a ghostly white
are turning
My fouled insides are burning, burning
with yearning
for the truth
of lysol douche
burned as clean
as a white limousine
let's go for a ride
my guts are fried

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:52 (twenty years ago)

All aboard all aboard whoa-oh (whoo-whoo whoo-whoo)
C'mon boy, d'ya wanna ride?
All aboard all aboard whoa-oh (whoo-whoo)
LYSOL DOUCHE to Trancentral

― The Ghost of Back With The Heavy-Flow JAM! (Dan Perry), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:54 (twenty years ago)

I think it's time to revive that thread...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:54 (twenty years ago)

>:O

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Thursday, 29 September 2005 15:56 (twenty years ago)

Leaving the station
a dire situation
hop the train
or you'll remain
deluded
mental patient

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 29 September 2005 16:00 (twenty years ago)

Cloaca!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 29 September 2005 16:03 (twenty years ago)

Cloaca:
The cavity into which both the intestinal and genitourinary tracts empty in reptiles, birds, amphibians and many fishes. In some invertebrates, a similar cavity serves for excretory, respiratory and reproductive ducts.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 29 September 2005 16:28 (twenty years ago)

Ned and Dan: herpetologist-poet/philosophers

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 29 September 2005 16:29 (twenty years ago)

One tries one's best in this sad life.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 29 September 2005 16:33 (twenty years ago)

Are you wishing
You'd rethought
Eating that
Gila monster out?
LYSOL MINTS

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Thursday, 29 September 2005 16:36 (twenty years ago)

Take a hint
this LYSOL MINT
Will to your smile
restore the glint

After last night's
sad romance
that bad komodo
dragon dance

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 29 September 2005 16:44 (twenty years ago)

don't you know
it's pretty pitiful
to take the trouser snake
so literal

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 29 September 2005 16:47 (twenty years ago)

LYSOL LYSOL
right the wrong!
Soak my undies
douse my thong

Scour my snakey sins
from me,
egg-laying from
the place I pee.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 29 September 2005 16:51 (twenty years ago)

do not force
yr gentleman caller
to pull out
and scream and holler
LYSOL DOUCHE

― The Obligatory Sourpuss (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 29 September 2005 16:53 (twenty years ago)

after you
get out the tub
better give that
cub a scrub
LYSOL DOUCHE

― The Obligatory Sourpuss (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 29 September 2005 16:57 (twenty years ago)

When you can't
Rely on sponge or
Someone takes away
Your plunger
LYSOL DOUCHE

― The Ghost of No More Shame (Dan Perry), Thursday, 29 September 2005 17:00 (twenty years ago)

flo said 'honey
kiss my grits'
mel said 'sure
but first a spritz'
LYSOL DOUCHE

― The Obligatory Sourpuss (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 29 September 2005 17:03 (twenty years ago)

I found that LYSOL DOUCHE, it's what I looked for
I knew I'd get what I asked for

― crowbaby, Thursday, 29 September 2005 17:10 (twenty years ago)

G@ru G.'s concept of sexual intercourse seems to have a lot in common with this reproductive model...does that mean he's a duck?

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 29 September 2005 17:13 (twenty years ago)

(I was wondering when the penny would drop, Matt!)

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Thursday, 29 September 2005 17:13 (twenty years ago)

He is a bird beneath the skin
A bird whose name is smirched with sin
LYSOL MINTS or LYSOL DOUCHE?
Each one surely has its use
Ridding you of dreadful funk
This stanza only rhymes
when drunk

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 29 September 2005 17:15 (twenty years ago)

G@ru G.'s concept of sexual intercourse seems to have a lot in common with this reproductive model...does that mean he's a duck?

Has anyone tried weighing him against a witch?

― The Ghost of NI! (Dan Perry), Thursday, 29 September 2005 17:17 (twenty years ago)

I HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON BETH PARKER AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT

― The Obligatory Sourpuss (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 29 September 2005 17:20 (twenty years ago)

When the funk's in the junk ma
Douche it like it's hot
Douche it like it's hot
Douche it like it's hot
Douche it like it's hot

(etc)

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Thursday, 29 September 2005 17:21 (twenty years ago)

LYSOL LYSOL
right the wrong!
Soak my undies
douse my thong

Scour my snakey sins
from me,
egg-laying from
the place I pee.

This is an absolute classic, Beth, I'm in complete awe.

― Gerard (Gerard), Thursday, 29 September 2005 17:24 (twenty years ago)

yr drawers a remake
of 'the fog'?
take it from snoop
doggy dogg:
'LYSOL DOUCHE, byatches!'

― The Obligatory Spokesman (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 29 September 2005 17:25 (twenty years ago)

Worshipful lizards
Hear my cry
Your kindly praise
Has made me shy
My song of
Salamander sex
Has put on you
A powerful hex
LYSOL DOUCHE
Cannot control
The lustful viper
In my soul.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 29 September 2005 18:45 (twenty years ago)

Under cold, cold water
Rubbing 'till I bleed
Oh, cleanse me LYSOL DOUCHE!
For I feel growing the seed

Of hexx0red lizardsex inside
Achingly crawling as if alive
Through my mind denuded my feelings revive
Becoming one with viper it's strive

― Gerard (Gerard), Thursday, 29 September 2005 19:08 (twenty years ago)

AIRYONE KNOWS BIG CHAKI LAKI FROM ILX YA HEARD>?? w

― huell howser (chaki), Thursday, 29 September 2005 20:35 (twenty years ago)

ILXors are definitely jealous of writers who have related to writing.

― shookout (shookout), Thursday, 29 September 2005 21:45 (twenty years ago)

oops insert "jobs"

heh

― shookout (shookout), Thursday, 29 September 2005 21:45 (twenty years ago)

oops insert "jobs"
What is this "jobs"
that you speak of?
We all lizard lovers,
Turtledove

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 29 September 2005 21:58 (twenty years ago)

The scary thing was that one of mine was, the day after 9/11. That still skeeves the hell out of me.

What's this about? I'd appreciate a thread or summary plz.

― Cunga (Cunga), Thursday, 29 September 2005 23:19 (twenty years ago)

these assholes hijacked some planes and flew them into buildings.

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 29 September 2005 23:23 (twenty years ago)

This thread was started by me when it was feared that Mike Daddino might have been caught in the WTC, as his workplace was there. Thankfully, he was running late to work that day and was nowhere near the area. The following day, among all the other stories, the NY Times had a short piece about reaction on the Internet which among other things quoted the title of the thread and a bit of Mike's response on it to confirm he was okay. Both Mike and I were rather creeped out.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 29 September 2005 23:25 (twenty years ago)

What's this about? I'd appreciate a thread or summary plz.
-- Cunga (visionsofjohann...), September 29th, 2005. (later)
these assholes hijacked some planes and flew them into buildings.

-- j blount (jamesbloun...), September 29th, 2005. (later)

< applause, raucous laughter >

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Friday, 30 September 2005 01:53 (twenty years ago)

That's really odd (for lack of a better word).

The closest internet thing of that sort I remember is a gamefaqs.com poster whose last login was around the time the planes crashed. You could see his profile for years until it was purged.

― Cunga (Cunga), Friday, 30 September 2005 04:38 (twenty years ago)

ILXors are definitely jealous of writers who have (jobs) related to writing.

I think it was established some considerable time ago that nearly all of ILx have jobs related to writing.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 30 September 2005 08:01 (twenty years ago)

It's like Private Eye in the sixties. It's the Establishment having their lunch break in the tuckshop.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 30 September 2005 08:02 (twenty years ago)

I think it was established some considerable time ago that nearly all of ILx have jobs related to writing.

Really?

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 30 September 2005 08:04 (twenty years ago)

Does anyone here have a job which doesn't require them, at some time or another, to write?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 30 September 2005 08:06 (twenty years ago)

Me!

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 30 September 2005 08:08 (twenty years ago)

Come on now, I've seen your work in "The Wire", Dada!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 30 September 2005 08:08 (twenty years ago)

You call that writing?!?!?!

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 30 September 2005 08:09 (twenty years ago)

I don't think he got paid for those letters, unless it was in the form of free CDs.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 30 September 2005 08:09 (twenty years ago)

From those tightwads?

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 30 September 2005 08:09 (twenty years ago)

Writing down, say, the milkquota of your cows everyday doesn't mean you have a 'job related to writing', but I see what you're getting at.

― Gerard (Gerard), Friday, 30 September 2005 08:10 (twenty years ago)

They offered me a 10CD boxset of Keiji Haino's complete oeuvre for paper & comb (remixed by Stephen Stapleton) but I turned 'em down

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 30 September 2005 08:11 (twenty years ago)

See, I'd have taken it, & put it straight up on ebay.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 30 September 2005 08:13 (twenty years ago)

Fool of fools, you could have got £30 for that at MVE!

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 30 September 2005 08:14 (twenty years ago)

Status reports and departmental briefs are as close to writing as I get, and it's hardly creative (though I often make shit up to make me sound productive).

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Friday, 30 September 2005 08:19 (twenty years ago)

"..., giving up, masturbating while handcuffed in backseat of squad car"

I read that without the comma and thought "Good on you. A bit of willpower is all that's required there."

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Friday, 30 September 2005 08:20 (twenty years ago)

Quite right too. I only ever employ genous gesturers.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 30 September 2005 08:21 (twenty years ago)

I prefer Comstocks Carabinieris

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 30 September 2005 08:22 (twenty years ago)

I HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON BETH PARKER AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT

The thing is, does Beth Parker look like you'd expect someone called Beth Parker to look like, or is s/he more in the line of, say, Ned Beatty or Brian Dennehy?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 30 September 2005 08:22 (twenty years ago)

In short: does Beth Parker resemble Evan Parker?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 30 September 2005 08:23 (twenty years ago)

http://perrytownshipfranklinco.org/images/Communications%20Technician%20Elizabeth%20Parker.jpg

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 30 September 2005 09:48 (twenty years ago)

If that's Beth Parker then I have a huge crush on her and I don't care who knows it!

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Friday, 30 September 2005 09:55 (twenty years ago)

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 30 September 2005 13:59 (twenty years ago)

Beth Parker! Too big to even fit on your screen!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 30 September 2005 14:03 (twenty years ago)

Lumme.

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 30 September 2005 14:03 (twenty years ago)

http://www.geocities.com/Colosseum/Track/4186/

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 30 September 2005 14:07 (twenty years ago)

double SPROING!

― The Obligatory Sourpuss (Begs2Differ), Friday, 30 September 2005 14:19 (twenty years ago)

What are the MIA Wars, NRQ?

― the bellefox, Friday, 30 September 2005 14:22 (twenty years ago)

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