"saw" producer dies suddenly after complaining about pain

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LOS ANGELES - Film producer Gregg Hoffman, who developed an eight-minute film into the horror hit "Saw" and its gory successor "Saw II," died unexpectedly after complaining of pain. He was 42.
Holy Shit! I complain about pain too! Does this mean we should all shut up about it?

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:07 (twenty years ago)

His new film is called "Pain".

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:10 (twenty years ago)

This Winter-Shut Up About It

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:10 (twenty years ago)

Ronan I owe you infinite beers for that

― Banana Nutrament (ghostface), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:12 (twenty years ago)

... oh yes, there will be pain.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:15 (twenty years ago)

Pain" tells the story of retired cop John Pain.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:21 (twenty years ago)

Okay, here's something spooky - in order to parody this thread, I decided to pick a crew member from "Nightmare on Elm Street" and claim that he had still not been hacked to death by razor claws. However, it turns out that the guy I chose actually did die, at the age of 41 ~~when he was mysteriously eviscerated in his sleep~~.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:21 (twenty years ago)

One of the producers in Four Weddings and a Funeral actually ended up having a funeral mark his death.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:22 (twenty years ago)

Speilberg in "Death at hands of giant-friendly-alien-shark-that-wants-to-be-a-real-boy shocker".

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:27 (twenty years ago)

:-( I quite liked that movie. Noone else seemed to like it, but I did.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:31 (twenty years ago)

Hitchcock was killed by a unique and original camera angle.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:32 (twenty years ago)

Karma.

― Erick Dampier is better than Shaq (miloaukerman), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:34 (twenty years ago)

bela tarr died of boredom

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:36 (twenty years ago)

(slightly obscure ref there)

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:36 (twenty years ago)

man who makes long and boring films dies of boredom -- geddit

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:37 (twenty years ago)

Yes, like Gus van Sant dies of ennui.

(xpost - Nick, that was funny.)

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:43 (twenty years ago)

Mel Gibson dies after eulogising about eternal life.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:43 (twenty years ago)

John Hughes dies after having no-one to go to the prom with.

― James Ward (jamesmichaelward), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:44 (twenty years ago)

Wes Craven died in a parody of his earlier deaths.

― James Ward (jamesmichaelward), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:45 (twenty years ago)

John Woo killed in elegant, overdrawn gunfight punctuated by flurries of doves.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:46 (twenty years ago)

Goddard dies of smoking to try and look cool.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:46 (twenty years ago)

William Shakespeare dead of iambic pentameter.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:47 (twenty years ago)

Shouldn't Mel Gibson be crucified?

― Mädchen (Madchen), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:47 (twenty years ago)

Breillat gets raped to death in the ass by a dead albatross that killed her sister.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:47 (twenty years ago)

Pair of black caterpillars finally eat Martin Scorsese after years of waiting for right time to strike.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:48 (twenty years ago)

Sounds good to me.

Joel Schumacher murdered by associates of Veronica Guerin.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:48 (twenty years ago)

fuck, Huk already made a John Woo joke. I was going to say "Woo dies from dove poisoning" or something.

― kingfish trampycakes (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:49 (twenty years ago)

Christopher Nolan killed by late 80s bats.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:49 (twenty years ago)

Quentin Tarantino dies at the beginning of his new movie.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:50 (twenty years ago)

Tim Burton crushed by poorly constructed plot.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:51 (twenty years ago)

Peter Jackson- oh, fuck it.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:51 (twenty years ago)

David Lynch dies, we think...

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:52 (twenty years ago)

michael mann -- close shave -- sharp suit -- there's something there, i know it.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:54 (twenty years ago)

George Romero crushed by Argento* thighs

(pick one)

― kingfish trampycakes (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:56 (twenty years ago)

After a life of hard work, Robert Bresson lays down in a field of sheep.

― Chris L, Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:57 (twenty years ago)

John Waters dies from dog-shit poisoning

― James Ward (jamesmichaelward), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:58 (twenty years ago)

Sofia Coppola in shockingly winsome suicide, lips curling slightly at the ironic, otherworldly beauty of it all.

― barbarian cities (jaybob3005), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:00 (twenty years ago)

Robert Altman dies from everyone talking at once.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:01 (twenty years ago)

Chris Martin killed by car, travelling forwards, in remote rural area. Does not get up afterwards.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:01 (twenty years ago)

Terrence Mallick lushly contemplates alligator, devoured.

― Chris L, Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:05 (twenty years ago)

Tarkovsky dies very, very... very... slowly...

― andy --, Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:15 (twenty years ago)

Cameron Crowe falls in love with someone unattainable, gorgeous and somewhat whimsical, somehow gets them, dies.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:19 (twenty years ago)

Mike Leigh dies of the bitterly amusing realities of London working-class life.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:21 (twenty years ago)

Death comes to Ingmar Bergman during symbolic chess game.

― andy --, Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:22 (twenty years ago)

David Cronenberg's heart stops beating and his whole body grows cold and unbearably rank, as if not quite human, and eventually decomposes.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:23 (twenty years ago)

Woody Allen stutters, criticizes, and quips with death, almost dies, death has a few changes of heart, Allen pines, realizes its all for the best, dies arguing in someone else's kitchen.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:28 (twenty years ago)

Kevin Smith dies encased in carbonite.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:41 (twenty years ago)

Lee Perry can't die.

― detoxyDancer (sexyDancer), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:41 (twenty years ago)

Christopher Guest dies from a hilariously improvised Eugene Levy stabbing.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:42 (twenty years ago)

M. Night Shyamalan...IS ALREADY DEAD!!!

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:43 (twenty years ago)

Allen's last words: "This is CRAZY, unbeLIEVable, who-who-who would even DO such a thing?"

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:43 (twenty years ago)

x-post -- Fuck, how I wish.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:43 (twenty years ago)

Mel Brooks crushed by own gravitas.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:44 (twenty years ago)

Rob Zombie dies from being suffocated under a giant pile of fluffy kittens and bunnies.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:45 (twenty years ago)

Ed Burns dies, embalms self, digs own grave, delivers own eulogy. Somehow, still not that impressive.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:45 (twenty years ago)

Larry Clark dies while fucking a bored, nubile teenager.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:46 (twenty years ago)

Gus Van Sant dies exactly like Alfred Hitchcock.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:47 (twenty years ago)

Guy Maddin gets the vapors, dies from a combination of the dropsy and whooping cough.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:48 (twenty years ago)

charlie kaufman kills HIMSELF!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:48 (twenty years ago)

George Lucas died in 1984, ILM (the other one) and Frank Oz have been having a terrific laugh at the world's expense.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:49 (twenty years ago)

Gus Van Sant dies exactly like Alfred Hitchcock.

Brian DePalma dies as an homage to Alfred Hitchcock.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:49 (twenty years ago)

Udo Kier dies in bizarre bloody love pact with Scottish troll while playing a video game.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:50 (twenty years ago)

Jim Jarmusch dies of loneliness after a protracted bout of cross-cultural miscommunication.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:54 (twenty years ago)

(REPEAT) Christopher Nolan dies, and then is killed.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:56 (twenty years ago)

Vincent Gallo dies from swollen head.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:56 (twenty years ago)

OH NO totally unintentional double entendre!

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:57 (twenty years ago)

Wes Anderson drowns in Bill Murray's jowls.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:57 (twenty years ago)

John Hughes suffocates beneath glass coffee table, covered in pizzas and half-filled beers.

― andy --, Tuesday, 6 December 2005 18:00 (twenty years ago)

TERRENCE MALICK (v.o.): I reckon I've died.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 18:01 (twenty years ago)

Uwe Boll dies after five straight days of playing popular MMORPG.

― recovering optimist (Royal Bed Bouncer), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 18:37 (twenty years ago)

Bah, I got the name wrong earlier. Kudos for Recovering for the proper reference.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 18:38 (twenty years ago)

i work in the gaming industry, and Boll is a punchline to many jokes!

― recovering optimist (Royal Bed Bouncer), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 18:48 (twenty years ago)

David Fincher dies from a sudden shot of an erect penis.

― Who the hell do you THINK I am? I'm the goddamn Batman! (Barima), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 19:05 (twenty years ago)

James Cameron is killed by a future version of himself!

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 19:08 (twenty years ago)

Francis Ford Coppola dies in a operatic fashion in a hail of bullets at a tollbooth.

― Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 19:32 (twenty years ago)

Bela Tarr rulez, u r all gay.

xxx-post.

― C0L1N B... (C0L1N B...), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 19:35 (twenty years ago)

Michel Gondry appears to die through the use of complex (and whimsical) trick photography.

― A|ex P@reene (Pareene), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 20:15 (twenty years ago)

Coppola dies, but he'd have killed US if he had a chance.

― Chris L, Tuesday, 6 December 2005 20:19 (twenty years ago)

Andy Warhol dies after being crushed by movie reels.

― kingfish trampycakes (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 20:19 (twenty years ago)

Ron Howard is suffocated by American Know-How.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 20:25 (twenty years ago)

Roger Corman succumbs to male breast cancer.

― andy --, Tuesday, 6 December 2005 21:05 (twenty years ago)

Tom Cruise dies from ruptured colon after recieving bum sex from a horse

― -rainbow bum- (-rainbow bum-), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 21:39 (twenty years ago)

don't quite get the game huh?

― cozen (Cozen), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 21:42 (twenty years ago)

Clint Eastwood dies in assisted suicide...assisted by the ghost of Pauline Kael and the religious right

― kornrulez6969 (TCBeing), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 21:52 (twenty years ago)

Alex Cox dies from heartattack, painstakingly familiar in detail to that suffered by Leone.

― Chino (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 21:53 (twenty years ago)

Lukas Moodysson chokes on zoom lens.

― Chino (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 21:55 (twenty years ago)

Tom Cruise dies from ruptured colon after recieving bum sex from a horse
-- -rainbow bum- (synthenoi...), December 6th, 2005. (later)

Tom Cruise DID NOT direct Eyes Wide Shut.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 21:57 (twenty years ago)

Roberto Benigni suffers charming, playful, faux-naif demise.

― Chino (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 22:00 (twenty years ago)

steve martin gets shot in the head with an arrow.

― howell huser (chaki), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 22:03 (twenty years ago)

James Cameron dies saying "Game over, man, game over!" All sins forgiven.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 22:24 (twenty years ago)

well shakespeare didn't direct and john waters didn't ate dog shit so why can't i say something shitty about tom cruise. I cant think today so just eat me.

― -rainbow bum- (-rainbow bum-), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 22:54 (twenty years ago)

because I love him : /

― cozen (Cozen), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 22:56 (twenty years ago)

But Shakespeare wrote in iambic pentameter and John Waters directed a movie in which someone ate dog shit. As amusing as it is to imagine, Tom Cruise, to my knowledge, has not fucked a horse.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 22:56 (twenty years ago)

reminds people of me

― cozen (Cozen), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 22:57 (twenty years ago)

not why I love him

― cozen (Cozen), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 22:57 (twenty years ago)

Kevin costner dies from drinking own urine with wooden, emotionless expression on his face.

― -rainbow bum- (-rainbow bum-), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 23:06 (twenty years ago)

michael bay gets kiled by a CGI asteroid

― latebloomer: The Corridor (Yes, The Corridor) (latebloomer), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 23:10 (twenty years ago)

Kevin Costner's funeral costs $300 million: nobody comes

― -rainbow bum- (-rainbow bum-), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 23:12 (twenty years ago)

Krzysztof Kieslowski dies in three ways, all featuring beautiful women, or ten ways, featuring humanity, God and Poland in the winter.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 23:22 (twenty years ago)

Michaelangelo Antonioni dies after a mysterious disappearance ... or has he actually died at all?

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 23:27 (twenty years ago)

rainbow bum dies.

― Almond White (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 23:29 (twenty years ago)

Sometime in the future, Wim Wenders slips into a coma during an extended monologue spoken by Solveig Dommartin. Columbo smokes in the shadows nearby.

― sgs (sgs), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 00:02 (twenty years ago)

Wong Kar-Wai dies sumptuously, with hints of longing.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 00:08 (twenty years ago)

Eric Rohmer, ending an hour-long conversation on a couch.

― Eazy (Eazy), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 00:11 (twenty years ago)

There is a sort of gentle pause, then a sudden movement, a loud noise, blood spray arcing across a blue sky, and Beat Takeshi falls to the ground.

― sgs (sgs), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 00:14 (twenty years ago)

(omg, I was just about to do Wong Kar-Wai! damn research getting in way of fun.)
nice, sgs. I love this thread.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 00:17 (twenty years ago)

michael mann -- close shave -- sharp suit

I think you mean "carefully planned stubble." And he dies from blunt trauma after being hit with a metal briefcase full of Very Illegal Things.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 00:25 (twenty years ago)

Mel Brooks dead at age 2000.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 00:31 (twenty years ago)

Francois Truffaut really died after he was hit with a rapidly approaching zoom lens while shooting his climatic freeze-frame.

― General Doinel (Charles McCain), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 00:33 (twenty years ago)

Sam Raimi goes to a cottage in the woods to make out with his girlfriend, finds Book of the Dead, fights evil, travels in time and space, fights more evil, makes Spiderman, really shouldn't have to die, okay, he even produced Xena and that was a great show for a while.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 00:34 (twenty years ago)

Threads like this==Ilx being great again

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 00:36 (twenty years ago)

Terry Gilliam dies way overbudget.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 00:37 (twenty years ago)

Danny Glover dies on his last week before retirement.

― jhoshea (scoopsnoodle), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 00:38 (twenty years ago)

John Cleese reported "resting."

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 00:42 (twenty years ago)

Ivan Reitman gets us kind of excited about his upcoming projects, makes us almost forgive him for the 90s, accidently imagines an 80-storey pregnant Schwarzenegger, NY destroyed, Reitman dies.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 00:49 (twenty years ago)

A million Nick Drake CDs are sold with a controversial sticker reading "As heard on Wes Anderson's death bed!"

― walter kranz (walterkranz), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 00:52 (twenty years ago)

In a stunning death bed confession Nicholas Roeg reveals that he actually murdered Donald Cammel.

― walter kranz (walterkranz), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 00:53 (twenty years ago)

Kenneth Anger dies peacefully in bed at age 98 - is accepted into heaven.

― walter kranz (walterkranz), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 00:55 (twenty years ago)

Richard Linklater is not sure he's dead, or dreaming.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 00:58 (twenty years ago)

Terry Gilliam dies way overbudget.

Squashed by the foot of god no?

― walter kranz (walterkranz), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 01:00 (twenty years ago)

Terry Gilliam's death recut to make it more palatable to audiences.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 01:04 (twenty years ago)

Sam Peckinpah dies in a hail of hail.

― andy --, Wednesday, 7 December 2005 01:05 (twenty years ago)

After death, Paul Verhoeven's body is used to create a cyborg designed to satirize the public trust, parody the innocent and caricature the law.

― melton mowbray (adr), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 01:10 (twenty years ago)

Orson Wells dies in one continuous tracking shot.

― A|ex P@reene (Pareene), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 01:18 (twenty years ago)

Scorcese's death ruled a homicide/stunning return to form.

― A|ex P@reene (Pareene), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 01:23 (twenty years ago)

Oliver Stone is killed by the CIA, who blame it on the surviving members of The Doors.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 01:23 (twenty years ago)

Fassbinder dies of pure enjoyment after brutally realized version of self steals penis in five-minute-long cutaway.

― fauxhemian (fauxhemian), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 01:26 (twenty years ago)

Neil Labute dies of man's inhumanity to man.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 01:30 (twenty years ago)

Todd Solondz dies of shame.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 01:33 (twenty years ago)

Michael Winterbottom's death isn't worth mentioning really, but at least it was interspersed with music so we could watch it at the local multiplex.

― melton mowbray (adr), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 01:36 (twenty years ago)

George Lucas dies, yet still finds a way to invent another whole new life for himself, which turns out to be more lucrative than the original that you would have thought was the definitive one.

― ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 01:37 (twenty years ago)

Abel Ferrara shot dead by nun's habit wearing trauma teen.

― Ian in Brooklyn, Wednesday, 7 December 2005 01:54 (twenty years ago)

jean pierre jeunet was fatally stabbed by a playful, misunderstood, irritatingly cute parisian girl who carefully orchestrated a chain of events that began with a domino, tipped over from five miles away, and ended with the fateful, comically timed jab of a machete. she laughed and then cried and then noticed a coincidence.

― firstworldman (firstworldman), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 03:18 (twenty years ago)

ahaha!

― Almond White (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 03:21 (twenty years ago)

Hal Hartley merges with the infinite. Hot fucking Tuna.

― Almond White (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 03:22 (twenty years ago)

Billy Wilder dies of imperfection.

― Sym Sym (sym), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 03:30 (twenty years ago)

luis bunuel died yesterday. his coffin was led to the cemetery, tied to a piano dragged by a pair of donkeys.

― joseph (joseph), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 03:35 (twenty years ago)

douglas sirk died of heartbreak in a small, windswept, leaf-strewn suburban town, to a grand orchestral score, in front of a conspicuously placed mirror.

― joseph (joseph), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 03:39 (twenty years ago)

the wachowski brothers die, turns out their life was a dream, direct two sequels that suck

― älänbänänä (alanbanana), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 03:41 (twenty years ago)

vittorio de sica died in a heartbreakingly realistic manner. he is survived by his dog and a daughter who doesn't speak to him anymore.

― joseph (joseph), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 03:43 (twenty years ago)

george romero could only be killed by a gunshot to the head

― älänbänänä (alanbanana), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 03:51 (twenty years ago)

"DEATH DANCE" THE TANGO BANNED IN PARIS, AFTER DIRECTOR BERNARDO BERTOLUCCI SLIPS AND SNAPS SPINE.

― melton mowbray (adr), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 04:13 (twenty years ago)

David Mamet just fucking dies, OK? Just fucking dies. Just like that, boom. You know, one minute you're there, you're working it, everything's in place, everything's humming, and then what fucking happens? What fucking happens? You just fucking die, is what fucking happens.

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 04:50 (twenty years ago)

Richard Kelly killed by a jet engine. Then revived, only for it to happen again.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 04:51 (twenty years ago)

steven soderbergh died separate mainstream and arty deaths, thusly pleasing both factions of arty and populist obituary readers; however, years later, people will wonder if his life had perhaps been 1/3 style, 1/3 substance, and 1/3... something... unplacable.

― firstworldman (firstworldman), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 05:05 (twenty years ago)

sogo ishi died brilliantly over and over and over again, but still no one EVER paid attention.

― firstworldman (firstworldman), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 05:06 (twenty years ago)

olivier assayas fucked to death in a flaming car by a woman whose notion of the erotic involved tentacle porn, bland corporate intrigue, marketing research, self-reflexive plots and very expensive clothing.

― firstworldman (firstworldman), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 05:13 (twenty years ago)

guy ritchie verbally assaulted to death, mid-heist, by a movie star with an indecipherable accent. body disposed of in the imposing shadow of his more famous wife.

― firstworldman (firstworldman), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 05:16 (twenty years ago)

alain resnais did NOT die at hiroshima. he wasn't there. he saw nothing.

― joseph (joseph), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 05:18 (twenty years ago)

Nine months after her mysterious death by needle stabbing, Takashi Miike crawled out of a young Tokyo woman's vagina fully formed and quickly filmed 347 more films.

― Ian in Brooklyn, Wednesday, 7 December 2005 05:18 (twenty years ago)

george kuchar died like douglas sirk did, but with worse lighting.

― joseph (joseph), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 05:19 (twenty years ago)

chris marker saw his death coming, but could do nothing to avoid it.

― firstworldman (firstworldman), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 05:20 (twenty years ago)

lars von trier finally shows a little sympathy, delivers ice cream cones to a shelter full of battered women, and is fatefully run down by a semi-truck as soon as his feet hit the sidewalk.

― firstworldman (firstworldman), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 05:23 (twenty years ago)

Lars von Trier died of natural causes. His name will not appear on his headstone.

OMGXPOST!

― melton mowbray (adr), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 05:24 (twenty years ago)

michael snow was crushed to death by a zoom lens in his lower manhattan loft.

― joseph (joseph), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 05:26 (twenty years ago)

paul thomas anderson's death owes much to the triumphant demise of robert altman, though jon brion's score is accomplished, and john c. reilly's performance is worthy of praise. admittedly it went a little long. it just got to a point where it felt like they kept hitting you over the head with the same ideas over and over again. it just seemed like maybe he didn't know when to just fall down and die, you know? it could have used some editing is all. it seemed a little repetitive. it's length wasn't justified. if it had been trimmed, it might even have been an elegat, involving slice of human drama. and the altman thing, though his movies were sometimes overlong as well. sometimes they dragged. unnecessarily, i mean.

― firstworldman (firstworldman), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 05:30 (twenty years ago)

yours was better patrick : D

― firstworldman (firstworldman), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 05:30 (twenty years ago)

Hayao Miyazaki was last seen boarding the Catbus.

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 05:33 (twenty years ago)

jean-luc godard is killed in a large automobile accident, and his corpse is eaten by crazed neo-maoists en route to a WTO protest.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 05:35 (twenty years ago)

werner herzog falls into an active arctic volcano whilst being chased by midgets.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 05:37 (twenty years ago)

Ed Wood's death pronounced worst ever. He is to be replaced immediately by his wife's chiropractor.

― melton mowbray (adr), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 05:40 (twenty years ago)

Robert Zemeckis died earlier today when his DeLorean collided with a wall at 88 miles her hour.

― melton mowbray (adr), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 05:42 (twenty years ago)

pasolini dies of blood poisoning after eating shit fed to him by a tranvestite dressed up as a nun.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 05:45 (twenty years ago)

paul schrader rescues/avenges a beautiful woman via a shootout in an apartment, is shot, doesn't die, but is really pretentious and talky about the whole thing.

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 05:47 (twenty years ago)

THIS THREAD SUCKS

― hstencil IS LAW (hstencil), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 05:52 (twenty years ago)

Darren Aronofsky gets a shattering migraine, drills himself in the head, shoots up, gets gangrene, has his arm cut off, and dies being buggered in a prison cell. Very rapidly.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 05:52 (twenty years ago)

hstencil dies complaining loudly on ilx *flees*

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 05:53 (twenty years ago)

Eisbär dies after writing another lame post calling stence "hpencil."

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 05:56 (twenty years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v212/etienne_saint/pwn.jpg

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 05:56 (twenty years ago)

Michael Haneke attempts to render you complicit in his bloody and discomfiting death, but just ends up being kind of smug and annoying.

― emil.y (emil.y), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 13:31 (twenty years ago)

man 1 : so i killed him, it was a fair fight and i won it brilliantly.
woman 1 : they were fighting over me. i'm so great.
the ghost of kurosawa speaking via a medium : hey, i killed myself! don't listen to them!
man 2 : they are all scum. it was man 1 what dun it.

― zappi (joni), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 13:59 (twenty years ago)

James Whale died but parts of his body were used to create a new creature brought to life by a mad scientist.

― James Ward (jamesmichaelward), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 14:20 (twenty years ago)

In a bizarre tribute to William Holden, Julia Roberts falls kookily backwards off a chair and bangs her head on the coffee table. Even her big hair cannot save her.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 14:33 (twenty years ago)

William Castle died, and at the funeral had little motors rigged up to the pews so all the mourners got electric shocks when they sat down.

― James Ward (jamesmichaelward), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 14:35 (twenty years ago)

etselzior syndrome

― bato (bato), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 14:43 (twenty years ago)

Rob Reiner's death initially seemed to result from an infection after RR stubbed his toe on some pointed irony, but was later revealed to have been caused by the overwhelming weight of sentimentality.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 15:14 (twenty years ago)

Peter Greenaway dies in numerical order, one to one hundred.

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 15:37 (twenty years ago)

Threads like this==Ilx being great again

yeah, I (was) waiting for certain ilx grumps to do the take-a-dump-in-a-room-and-leave and complain about how this is all unfunny, etc.

― kingfish trampycakes (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 15:42 (twenty years ago)

THIS THREAD SUCKS
-- hstencil IS LAW (hstenc!...), December 6th, 2005 11:52 PM. (hstencil) (later)

― n/a (Nick A.), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 15:44 (twenty years ago)

Movietone News: Freak synchronised swimming catastrophe claims life of Busby Berkeley. Public mourns, swimmers remain in formation.

― sgs (sgs), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 17:51 (twenty years ago)

Pedro Almodovar has a terrible fight with his mother, then stumbles into the arms of a beautiful prostitute who tells him a secret that overwhelms him so completely that he lapses into a coma and eventually dies, surrounded by a half-dozen weeping drag queens.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 18:03 (twenty years ago)

-- gypsy mothra (meetm...) (webmail), December 6th, 2005 11:50 PM. (gypsy mothra) (later) (link)

This one is actually hilarious.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 18:22 (twenty years ago)

DW GRIFFITHS LYNCHED

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 18:24 (twenty years ago)

Leni Riefenstahl trampled by nazis who then refuse to apologize.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 23:21 (twenty years ago)

David Cronenberg killed by a giant sentient dildo/gun/whip/videogame machine, genetically engineered from hallucinogenic cancer cells scraped from his brain.

― latebloomer: The Corridor (Yes, The Corridor) (latebloomer), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 23:28 (twenty years ago)

Danny Glover simply dies of being too old for this shit.

― Sparkle Motion's Rising Force, Thursday, 8 December 2005 02:05 (twenty years ago)

roman polanski dies whe charles manson escapes and finishes what he started!

― fucked up friend, Thursday, 8 December 2005 09:40 (twenty years ago)

Seijun Suzuki dies of a freak accident involving a sniper rifle and a butterfly.

― naterdee, Thursday, 8 December 2005 22:37 (twenty years ago)

Roman Polanski dies of shame when the Satanists who live next door to him catch him in bed with an underage girl.

― antexit (antexit), Thursday, 8 December 2005 23:21 (twenty years ago)

ten months pass...

SAW III review: Director Darren Lynn Bousman made his directorial debut with "Saw II" and stayed on to direct this third installment. Keep in mind he was once a production assistant for Tara Reid, so clearly, he has no taste.

― StanM (StanM), Saturday, 28 October 2006 20:09 (nineteen years ago)

(oh, I hadn't noticed the thread had taken a totally different direction, sorry)

― StanM (StanM), Saturday, 28 October 2006 20:09 (nineteen years ago)

putting "clearly, he has no taste" at the end of that sentence is totally redundant, he would have made his point anyway. why rub it in

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 28 October 2006 21:42 (nineteen years ago)

five years pass...

Bongos and G-Strings at Magic Mike in Abeline, Texas.

― Odd Spice (Eazy), Saturday, 21 July 2012 19:17 (thirteen years ago)

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