Jake Gyllenhaal

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This hasn't been done, and I wanted a thread to compete with Ennis Del Mar's.

More than repulsed by the Donnie Darko love a lot of my homies professed in 2001, I studiously avoided him. He was ok in Lovely & Amazing (the last time he'd be sexy again until Brokeback), forgettable in The Good Girl, and tried very hard in The Day After Tomorrow. Never saw Jarhead

Nothing in those pictures suggested that he was anything more than a Tobey Maguire manque (and, to rewrite Oscar Wilde, so is Tobey Maguire) with some erotic frisson; but he's a revelation in Brokeback, a statement for which I've gotten a lot of ridicule over the holidays. Ledger is fantastic, but if his lover can't project thwarted homosexual lust than the movie's a failure. His performance is impressively physical; he finally learns how to use those killer blue eyes in character. When called upon to demonstrate Great Oscar-Worthy Thespian Chops in his stentorian kiss-off to Ledger, he more than holds his own.

Still, I probably remember his performance more for the audience gratification: we've wanted to see Jake in a movie worthy of his looks, and he plays to every seat in the house. My Favorite Brokeback Moment: how his Jack Twist, during the reunion scene, pulls away from Ennis as he's being mauled with kisses, looking at his old lover with a mixture of shock, relief ("Is this really happening?" he seems to be thinking), and euphoria.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 20:37 (eighteen years ago) link

He's very funny in Bubble Boy. I agree with all the Brokeback stuff except the last scene, which shows petulance instead of a 39-year-old's fury.

(Oh wait, he's queer, AND a bottom...)

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 20:44 (eighteen years ago) link

He's like a muppet version of a film star.

― Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 20:48 (eighteen years ago) link

I get the feeling that he worries a lot. He always looks pensive in films, it's his only look.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 20:51 (eighteen years ago) link

xpost

Big beautiful eyes aside, how so?

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 20:52 (eighteen years ago) link

He just has a muppet face -- his acting is okay.

― Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 21:18 (eighteen years ago) link

I've never found any Muppets Jake-hot. Not even Dr Bunsen Honeydew.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 21:21 (eighteen years ago) link

i wonder if this thread will end is tears as big as the one for his sister

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 21:22 (eighteen years ago) link

i like the two "a"s in his last name. makes me think of the netherlands.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 21:25 (eighteen years ago) link

Pleasant memories?

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 21:46 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.nationmaster.com/wikimir/images/upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/5/58/180px-AnneFrankDiaryofaYoungGirl1995.jpg

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 21:48 (eighteen years ago) link

Anyone else seen Bubble Boy? Wasn't he in that Gwyneth movie a few months ago?

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 22:02 (eighteen years ago) link

Proof yeah. And that rocket-boy '50s thing was his first lead, yes?

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 22:05 (eighteen years ago) link

October Sky!

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 22:07 (eighteen years ago) link

I had no idea they made a movie of Proof. Gross.

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 22:23 (eighteen years ago) link

i've specifically avoided Brokeback because I found him so so repugnant in the Good Girl

― emilys. (emilys.), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 05:03 (eighteen years ago) link

He's like a muppet version of a film star.

-- Lars and Jagger (nicole.kessle...), January 3rd, 2006 3:48 PM. (Ex Leon)

rofl

― HAKKEBOFFER (eman), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 05:40 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.killertoys.com/prodpics/guy.psd.jpg

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 13:48 (eighteen years ago) link

I found him effectively repugnant in The Good Girl, which was not pompous enough to be creamed over by the critical community.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 14:16 (eighteen years ago) link

So how WAS Bubble Boy?

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 14:18 (eighteen years ago) link

if ever a thread needed pics it's this one

http://actors.pick2web.com/pics/1222725/jakegyllenhaal.jpg

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:07 (eighteen years ago) link

Christ on a crutch...

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:11 (eighteen years ago) link

He looks very squashed there.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:17 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.jake-gyllenhaal-france.net/arena02.jpg

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:19 (eighteen years ago) link

I'm tempted to say I will refund the rental fee for Bubble Boy who doesn't think the patriotic jackoff scene with Swoosie Kurtz ALONE isn't worth it. But I won't. About half of it works, but I like its freakiness slapstick more than most of what the Farrellys have done.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:35 (eighteen years ago) link

I saw him walking his dog in soho last year. We smiled at him before realizing who he was, just thinking he was some hot guy walking his dog.

― ShawShank Rambo Connection (Carey), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:43 (eighteen years ago) link

those calvin klein undies are obviously straining to hold back the untamed 70s style kudzu of Jake's pubic bush.

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:45 (eighteen years ago) link

best thread ever.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:46 (eighteen years ago) link

TOO EARLY for getting me this riled up...

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:52 (eighteen years ago) link

haha finally we have achieved parity with the gross perving threads on ile

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:54 (eighteen years ago) link

i love that picutre, cause its all rough tradey, and i imagine him topping me, his hard long cock thrusting into the soft folds of my ass...

but i also imagine him strong, and quiet absorbing me in his arms, as i weep about the state of the world.

he is the only man i imagine topping me...i saw him once in TO last year, and he was as handsome, old fashioned in his taciturn tendencies, i didnt know how to say TAKE ME NOW, so i didnt

― anthony easton (anthony), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:58 (eighteen years ago) link

That last picture was taken....when?

Anthony, you might have to fight me for'em.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:59 (eighteen years ago) link

Alfred

There are always threesomes, triads, circle jerks, orgies, and any number of other higher mathametics

― anthony easton (anthony), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:00 (eighteen years ago) link

wait a second, jess, this is really not even close to "parity," you understand.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:02 (eighteen years ago) link

I'll beat you all. And then drag Jake by the forelock, caveman style, back to my lakeside cavern for an extended stay.

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:03 (eighteen years ago) link

i love that picutre, cause its all rough tradey, and i imagine him topping me, his hard long cock thrusting into the soft folds of my ass...

but i also imagine him strong, and quiet absorbing me in his arms, as i weep about the state of the world.

this makes up for all the mimsy indie-boy threads about his sister in the world, ally.

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:04 (eighteen years ago) link

you said what you said before anthony said what he said, also anthony would need to start 17 other threads about anonymous kind of ok looking indie stars and say the same thing for parity to truly be achieved. we can do this, and I have no objections to it, but it hasn't been done. YET.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:05 (eighteen years ago) link

fine, the next time someone starts a thread about star jones, i'll be sure to talk about the soft, billowy folds of my ass.

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:06 (eighteen years ago) link

listen, I'm not defending that post. I mean it's a little TMI for my tastes. Also, Star Jones?

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:07 (eighteen years ago) link

i like a woman who takes charge.

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:08 (eighteen years ago) link

intriguing.
http://www.jakegyllenhaal.com/images/JakeGyllenhaal_speech.jpg

xpost ...

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:09 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.thesuperficial.com/images/2006/01/star-jones-beach.jpg

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:10 (eighteen years ago) link

Only 17?

― Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:12 (eighteen years ago) link

I think I should start working on this parity goal!

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:13 (eighteen years ago) link

But where to start? And where are the female equivalents of oops and kingfish?

― Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:14 (eighteen years ago) link

We're almost there.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:15 (eighteen years ago) link

"Gun's going OFF!"

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:15 (eighteen years ago) link

He looks like Stallone or Travolta in that shirtless photo.

― Je4nn3 ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:18 (eighteen years ago) link

I bet he has a hairy asscrack.

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:19 (eighteen years ago) link

Did anyone see him on Conan recently, talking about his lifeguard duty where he pissed on a jellyfish-bite victim's leg as therapy? He mimed it, firehose-style, and O'Brien nearly flew out of his chair. "There are old people watching!"

He'd still have to explain the "These characters are not, like, gay" interview, and I might hafta slap him. Repeatedly.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:21 (eighteen years ago) link

hahahahahahahahahahahaha Nicole.

where to start...we've already got this thread, and Heath Ledger (yuck btw...just...yuck), and I guess my Jimmy Fallon thread should count too. Maybe Adrian Brody?? James Spader?

xpost he pissed on someone's leg? What is that supposed to do?

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:24 (eighteen years ago) link

AND HE MIGHT LIKE IT.

(xpost)

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:24 (eighteen years ago) link

I think it's the pH of the pee that counteracts the jelly's poison.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:32 (eighteen years ago) link

Pee supposedly takes the sting out of a jellyfish sting. I don't have first-hand experience of this. I bet you're just so stunned that someone is heroically peeing on you, you forget that you got stung.

― Je4nn3 ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:33 (eighteen years ago) link

That's just...freaky. I don't know how I'd react to being rescued from jellyfish attack only to be pissed on by Jake Gyllenhaal. I think I'd probably want an adult beverage, and I'd be highly confused.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:35 (eighteen years ago) link

it might make me into watersports.
i bet his pee tastes like candy

― anthony easton (anthony), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:36 (eighteen years ago) link

lik'em aid

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:37 (eighteen years ago) link

ok now you won, jess.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:37 (eighteen years ago) link

that shirtless pic is actually from about 3 years ago.

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:38 (eighteen years ago) link

You lie.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 19:37 (eighteen years ago) link

ally quit reviving this thread.

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 19:39 (eighteen years ago) link

why don't you go post on a Mandy Moore thread.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 19:42 (eighteen years ago) link

This thread needs more gyllenhaal beefcake, but I cannot search for it while at work. :(

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 19:44 (eighteen years ago) link

it's probably wrong i want to see american dreamz, isn't it?

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 19:46 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.artistsnetwork.org/artists/maggiegyllenhaal/maggie.jpg http://www.schoolhousecenter.com/images/ware.gif

― Dan (You're Welcome) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 19:47 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.stars2go.com/g/jake-gyllenhaal/jake_gyllenhaal.jpg

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 19:48 (eighteen years ago) link

I have no idea who this "Val" is

http://www.lipglaws.com/jakeG.jpg

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 19:49 (eighteen years ago) link

http://film.widarsson.se/images/jake_gyllenhaal.jpg

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 19:50 (eighteen years ago) link

I have no idea who this "Val" is

http://www.planetkilmer.com/pk_home_val.jpg

― Dan (Mystery Solved) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 19:50 (eighteen years ago) link

Dan, dude, that was totally uncalled for.

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:02 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.npr.org/programs/fa/features/2005/11/jar_200.jpg

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:04 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.togawp.com/main/images/jake-gyllenhaal4.jpg

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:05 (eighteen years ago) link

I think I found the winner. NSFW & No fainting please.

http://socialitelife.com/images/santa.gif

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:16 (eighteen years ago) link

mpeg clip here:

http://www.socialitelife.com/video/Jarhead.mpg

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:17 (eighteen years ago) link

Girl, I posted that Jarhead pic weeks ago! (along with a clip of the Santa dance)

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:17 (eighteen years ago) link

I guess I'm not up to date on my nude celeb pixx.

My hairy asscrack theory is disproven!

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:23 (eighteen years ago) link

hahaha now, truly, best thread ever!

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:24 (eighteen years ago) link

He must wax. He looks vain enough.

― Je4nn3 ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:26 (eighteen years ago) link

He shaved for Jarhead. Apparently Sam Mendes never knew any hirsute 20-year-old guys (what're the odds)...

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:26 (eighteen years ago) link

Maybe Adrian Brody?? James Spader?

Ahh, James Spader, please. Except not from that detective movie w/ Keanu Reeves, which was...actually I can't remember anything about it, my grey cells have been wiped clean by the hands of time. Not so memorable, then.

― Laurel (Laurel), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:30 (eighteen years ago) link

There was a movie that starred Keanu Reeves and James Spader?????!! The battle of who can make less facial expressions actually occurred??? And I MISSED it??? Shit.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:32 (eighteen years ago) link

(don't take that the wrong way, I like both actors!)

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:32 (eighteen years ago) link

JAKE WHY U SHAEV ASS ALL TIME>??

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:32 (eighteen years ago) link

He doesn't look THAT hairy in the non-shaved pictures, what are you all on about?

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:35 (eighteen years ago) link

Not Robin Williams Hairy, but moderately so. (and I think he has more at 25 than 22...)

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:44 (eighteen years ago) link

Ally - the thick pubic mane evidenced in the upthread shirtless photo suggests that he the lower half of his body is naturally covered in hair, like a satyr or something.

Anyone know what his ethnic heritage is? We could deduce from that.

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:46 (eighteen years ago) link

But not so unusually so that I would think he has an incredibly hairy ass or something like that, I mean unless he waxes his back and upper arms or something but not his front he seems like one of those "front hairy" guys. I've known quite a few of them!!

Obviously though, yes, he removed all of it for Jarhead, which is just weak.

xpost hahaha satyr

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:46 (eighteen years ago) link

His mom is Naomi Foner, a screenwriter (Running on Empty) ... European Jewish b.g. I believe.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:50 (eighteen years ago) link

He does have those eyebrows.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:50 (eighteen years ago) link

Dad is the director Stephen Gyllenhaal (Waterland). Descendant of Swedish nobles, per Wikipedia.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:52 (eighteen years ago) link

You know who is mad-hairy -- Andy Garcia. I remember watching "Clinton and Nadine" and thinking his was the hairiest back I've ever seen. It was like a pelt.

― Je4nn3 ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:54 (eighteen years ago) link

Ugh Andy Garcia is so gross anyway, I mean what is the deal?

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:55 (eighteen years ago) link

Ally - the thick pubic mane evidenced in the upthread shirtless photo suggests that he the lower half of his body is naturally covered in hair, like a satyr or something.

This is the sort of descriptive prose missing in Proulx's "Brokeback Mountain."

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:56 (eighteen years ago) link

by the way, I'm touched that you've all exceeded my Jake lust.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:05 (eighteen years ago) link

you horny gaywads

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:06 (eighteen years ago) link

don't piss on our cornflakes just cos someone ruined ~~Malcolm in the Middle~~Lindsay Lohan for you.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:07 (eighteen years ago) link

xpost

guilty as charged! (flaps wrists)

― elmo, patron saint of celebrity homo lust (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:08 (eighteen years ago) link

JAKE IS FUCKING HOT PEOPLE OK? JUST GET OVER IT IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:12 (eighteen years ago) link

he's no tom selick

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:13 (eighteen years ago) link

http://images.icnetwork.co.uk/upl/m2/jul2005/1/3/0009DA50-27EB-12CA-99D70C01AC1BF814.jpg

― Dan (Val Kilmer Looks Askance At You All) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:14 (eighteen years ago) link

what the shit is that???!

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:16 (eighteen years ago) link

looking at val suddenly makes me feel a little better about myself

― grown so ugly (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:17 (eighteen years ago) link

My best guess is that it's John Ritter doing a Val Kilmer impression.

― Dan (Or Maybe Beelzebub) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:17 (eighteen years ago) link

ugh god. I'm going to go GIS Eli Manning until I feel a little less vomity in my mouth.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:19 (eighteen years ago) link

Let's face it, without pioneering gay films such as Top Gun, we would never have Brokeback Mountain today. Thanks, Val! WE SALUTE YOU.

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:19 (eighteen years ago) link

Dude, Dan, I was just about to say he looks like John Ritter!

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:19 (eighteen years ago) link

Yeah but what the hell happened to his face??

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:20 (eighteen years ago) link

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/43/4782/1024/jake-gyllenhaal-baseball14.jpg

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/43/4782/1024/jake-gyllenhaal-baseball12.jpg

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:43 (eighteen years ago) link

sir I applaud you, esp the 2nd one!

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:45 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.waposdecine.com/jakegyllenhaal/jg11g.jpg

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:47 (eighteen years ago) link

http://entimg.msn.com/i/gal/Undressed_50503/KDunstJakeGyllenhaal_300x435.jpg

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:52 (eighteen years ago) link

bastard.

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:53 (eighteen years ago) link

wait, are they still together?

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:53 (eighteen years ago) link

they are back together after a few months apart, i believe. she initially split up with him 'cos he was too much of a stay-at-home apparently.

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:55 (eighteen years ago) link

i may pay top dollar for a k. dunst/j. gyllenhaal sex tape

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:56 (eighteen years ago) link

i'm not proud of this but i'm not necessarily denying it either

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:56 (eighteen years ago) link

No, you didn't deny it at all, you did the opposite of deny.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:58 (eighteen years ago) link

the first shirtless pic is def. from Arena Homme + fashion magazine in 2002.

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:58 (eighteen years ago) link

ugh @ snaggletooth dunst -- wtf jake? you can do better.

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:59 (eighteen years ago) link

ally, what are you, my factchecker today?

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:59 (eighteen years ago) link

yes.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 21:59 (eighteen years ago) link

i have had three cups of coffee today.

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:00 (eighteen years ago) link

tho it's not like I was the person correcting your spelling of masturbation euphemisms, you should maybe think about stepping back and looking at the bigger picture of today.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:00 (eighteen years ago) link

I just watched a Jake interview taped a couple of months ago for the gay channel; he sounds and looks as gay as Liberace. I mean, if Dunst was his beard, I'd believe it.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:00 (eighteen years ago) link

Kirsten Dunst is not very cute.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:00 (eighteen years ago) link

the time i saw jake though, he was wearing a pink polo shirt with the collar up.

― ShawShank Rambo Connection (Carey), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:01 (eighteen years ago) link

UGH for reals????

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:01 (eighteen years ago) link

yeah, but he was still hot, and he barked at this dog that was in the bed of a truck that was barking at his dog.

― ShawShank Rambo Connection (Carey), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:03 (eighteen years ago) link

Wait, I remember you telling me this now, about him barking at a dog. The polo shirt thing though is so ugh.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:04 (eighteen years ago) link

Dunst is classic beard material.

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:07 (eighteen years ago) link

Heh. He wore a pink polo shirt, collar up, and barked at a dog.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:09 (eighteen years ago) link

Wow. All he'd have to do is shout "WHERE IS KEVIN SPACEY, MY EXTRA-SPECIAL FRIEND?" and that last lingering doubt would just melt away.

― Dan (Gays Be Barkin'!) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:19 (eighteen years ago) link

HELLO HE IS DATING PETER SAAAAAAARSGAAAAAAAAAARD

― Jams Murphy (ystrickler), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:28 (eighteen years ago) link

which is completely hot if it were true.

― ShawShank Rambo Connection (Carey), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:29 (eighteen years ago) link

peter saaaarsgaaaard has the best voice and eyelids.

― ShawShank Rambo Connection (Carey), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:30 (eighteen years ago) link

i bet he has an excellent bedside manner.

― ShawShank Rambo Connection (Carey), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:31 (eighteen years ago) link

SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS

― Dan (Fun To Say And Type) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:33 (eighteen years ago) link

I was wondering why this thread had taken off and then very quickly I stopped having to wonder.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:34 (eighteen years ago) link

"Where is Kevin Spacey"?

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:36 (eighteen years ago) link

I was wondering why this thread had taken off and then very quickly I stopped having to wonder.

http://www.bakedziti.net/images/val.jpg

― Dan (Thanks, Val!) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:37 (eighteen years ago) link

I saw the Alexander DVD the other day and easily resisted purchasing it.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:39 (eighteen years ago) link

ned tell us more about things you didnt buy

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:41 (eighteen years ago) link

In refusing to buy it, Ned, you are impugning Oliver Stone's cocksmanship.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:41 (eighteen years ago) link

CAN WE STAY ON TARGET HERE
http://www.kinomania.ru/stars/j/Jake_Gyllenhaal/vert/39.jpg

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:41 (eighteen years ago) link

"Where is Kevin Spacey"?

That was a "Kevin Spacey is the least-closeted closeted man in Hollywood" reference.

I've been totally subpar all day.

― Dan (I Blame Christmas) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:42 (eighteen years ago) link

GYLLENGAARD

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:42 (eighteen years ago) link

I dunno, normally I see pics of JG and it's like there's no person behind the face, I can't make them mean anything. But that last one...it's kind of cute. I like a boy who starts trouble.

― Laurel (Laurel), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:44 (eighteen years ago) link

ned tell us more about things you didnt buy

I...can't. Hurts.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:44 (eighteen years ago) link

http://img.epochtimes.com/i6/5103156381470.jpg

― ShawShank Rambo Connection (Carey), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:45 (eighteen years ago) link

ned you'll always be my jake gyllenhaal

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:46 (eighteen years ago) link

That makes me sound like a sex appliance.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:46 (eighteen years ago) link

Something about that picture frightens me.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:47 (eighteen years ago) link

i think that's what your mom calls her vibrator

xpost

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:47 (eighteen years ago) link

Something about that picture frightens me.

Perhaps the way it looks like SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARSGAAAAAAAAAARD has snatched the beard off of Gyllenhaal's face?

― Dan (FWIP) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:48 (eighteen years ago) link

Sarsgaard looks a bit like Amateurist there. If Amateurist had a beard like that.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:49 (eighteen years ago) link

And was also Peter Sarsgaard, yes.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:49 (eighteen years ago) link

That's possibly the most punchable beard I've ever seen.

― Dan (This Isn't Fucking Pirates Of Penzance, You Knob) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:50 (eighteen years ago) link

i think that's what your mom calls her vibrator

Oh no no no. She doesn't even know he exists.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:51 (eighteen years ago) link

what does she call it then?

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:52 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.my-wc.com/celebs/val_kilmer/top.jpg

"You call that a beard??? Bitchface."

― Dan (Val Disapproves) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:52 (eighteen years ago) link

...

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:52 (eighteen years ago) link

The beard looks like female pubic hair.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:52 (eighteen years ago) link

"dan perry"

xxxpost

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:52 (eighteen years ago) link

er, Saarsgard's.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:52 (eighteen years ago) link

Clearly no xpost was needed.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:53 (eighteen years ago) link

If my pubes ever did anything remotely like that, I'd kill myself.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:53 (eighteen years ago) link

what, crawled onto peter sarsgaards face?

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:54 (eighteen years ago) link

That too.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:54 (eighteen years ago) link

What, like crawl onto Pete Saarsgard's face???

(xpost BAH CURSE THESE SLOW FINGERS)

― Dan (HORRORS) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:55 (eighteen years ago) link

zing?

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:55 (eighteen years ago) link

"Jake and Peter Sarsgaard lived together for five months in Mexico."

― Jams Murphy (ystrickler), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:55 (eighteen years ago) link

the sad part is that i know dan and i were all twitchily typing away going "omg that bastard perry/strongo is gonna beat me"

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:56 (eighteen years ago) link

Ok. I already spent all of yesterday on ILE discussing which NFL qb's I'd fuck before Tom Brady. Let's not turn this thread into that, but about pubes in the face instead of the fucking, I'm too tired.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:56 (eighteen years ago) link

Thread of the year, obv.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:56 (eighteen years ago) link

"I'm fucking Peter Sarsgaard in the face/fuck a dime/I'm a silver dolla/holla" -- Trina

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:57 (eighteen years ago) link

this really isn't living up to its full potential now.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:58 (eighteen years ago) link

sarsgaard and gyllenhaal don't seem gay to me.

― ShawShank Rambo Connection (Carey), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:58 (eighteen years ago) link

but one time when i younger, i went to hardees and ordered the fisherman's special and was suprised that it was fish.

― ShawShank Rambo Connection (Carey), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:59 (eighteen years ago) link

we need anthony to come back and talk about theoretical vulvas

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:59 (eighteen years ago) link

I don't think they seem gay either but that's because I want to fuck Jake Gyllenhaal.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:00 (eighteen years ago) link

I thanked God this morning I created this thread. Unfortunately he left me this thread, and no Jake.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:00 (eighteen years ago) link

i want to know if jams has firsthand knowledge about this gaydom.

― ShawShank Rambo Connection (Carey), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:01 (eighteen years ago) link

http://spectacle.provocateuse.com/images/spectacles/jake_gyllenhaal_02.jpg

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:03 (eighteen years ago) link

I have no sympathy, Alfred, because you've single-handedly ruined ladypubes forever.

― Dan (Bastard) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:04 (eighteen years ago) link

it is knowledge gained via unpublished reports from a certain w3nn3r media gossip publication

― Jams Murphy (ystrickler), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:05 (eighteen years ago) link

seventeen?

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:06 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.filmhobbit.com/moviereviews/movie-images/news/reporters/gardenstate.jpg

― Dan (Zack Is Despondant; Where Are His Facial Ladypubes?) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:06 (eighteen years ago) link

I have no sympathy, Alfred, because you've single-handedly ruined ladypubes forever.

http://www.daringiscaring.org/Mustache/SalvadorDali_jpg.jpg

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:07 (eighteen years ago) link

Peter Sarsgaard got a new roommate to prepare for his role as a Marine in the Gulf War drama "Jarhead."
The 34-year-old actor plays Jake Gyllenhaal's sniper partner in the film adaptation of Anthony Swofford's memoir, so he decided to spend as much time as possible with him in real life, he told The New York Times Magazine in Sunday's issue.
"I figured if I couldn't be around my girlfriend, I would settle for her brother," said Sarsgaard, who's dating Maggie Gyllenhaal.
Sarsgaard and Jake Gyllenhaal lived together for about five months during filming, mostly in a hotel in Mexico.
"The idea was to simulate the military experience: what happens if you're forced to be with someone every minute of the day and night," Sarsgaard told the magazine. "And we fought. We'd have a fight and then we'd still have to be together. For a while, I would just wear headphones. All the time. That lasted for 10 days."

Order was eventually restored, he said.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:09 (eighteen years ago) link

ok this is just gettin weird now

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:13 (eighteen years ago) link

So what does Sarsgaard make of his character's happy embrace of a sexual identity that's not nailed down? "The question is, At what point are you supposed to nail it down?" posits Sarsgaard, who's been happily coupled with indie-darling actress Maggie Gyllenhaal since 2003. "I hear people say that all the time, straight and gay. If we decide, 'Oh, you should really have [your sexuality] nailed down by your 30s,' doesn't that seem arbitrary? Isn't it all just arbitrary, then? Can't you have searched your whole life and never have figured it out? If we lived in a world where there weren't these ideas about what it means to be straight and gay, if we were all just free and open, then it seems like it would be easier. But I'm not sure that exists."

...

These straight actors are all company Sarsgaard is quite happy to keep, but he's not about to start patting himself on the back for his bravery. "Wouldn't the more interesting thing be," he asks with a knowing laugh, "for an actor who is actually gay to be allowed to play the role? I mean, great, we've come this far. We have me, Colin Farrell, Jake Gyllenhaal--all these people playing these roles. Cool. Now, can you imagine world where gay actors, out gay actors, were playing these roles in these very interesting movies? Sure, we've moved an inch ..." He trails off, leaving Kinsey's final admonition unspoken: There's a lot of work to do.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:14 (eighteen years ago) link

time for this then:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v369/colinohara/06b838cb.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v369/colinohara/929b206d.jpg

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:14 (eighteen years ago) link

"I figured if I couldn't be around my girlfriend, I would settle for her brother," said Sarsgaard, who's dating Maggie Gyllenhaal.

WTF

― Dan (Jake Sez: "PETER SAAAAAAAAAAAARSGAAAARD Y U BRAEK HAERT :~-(") Perry (Dan P, Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:15 (eighteen years ago) link

i saw a porno like that once

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:16 (eighteen years ago) link

since anthony's not here i'll just say... you can kinda see the outline of his dick in the blue shorts pic.

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:18 (eighteen years ago) link

(perviness displacement)

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:19 (eighteen years ago) link

Still not up to "i bet his pee tastes like candy" standards.

― Dan (B-) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:19 (eighteen years ago) link

i bet his pubic hair tastes like pad thai?

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:24 (eighteen years ago) link

http://towleroad.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/jake5.jpg

hmmm...

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:24 (eighteen years ago) link

bet his pubic hair tastes like pad thai?

I had egg foo yung in mind.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:29 (eighteen years ago) link

And those Sarsgaard quotes are beyond weird.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:32 (eighteen years ago) link

(xpost) No wonder Ellen went off the air.

― Dan (Titty-Twistering Guests Is A No-No) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:32 (eighteen years ago) link

C'mon, Dan. This thread has stimulated your man-love for the Gyllie.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:42 (eighteen years ago) link

"the gyllie" sounds like bizarre Welsh slang for "the vagina", so I guess you could say yes.

― Dan (We Went Back To My Flat And I Tickled Her Gyllie) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:50 (eighteen years ago) link

Come on, Dan, even Dustin Hoffman goes gay for Jake G.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v30/green_queen/Jake/jakedustinsusan1.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v30/green_queen/Jake/jakedustinsusan2.jpg

SUCCUMB TO THE MAGNETISM OF HIS FANTASTIC ABS.

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:52 (eighteen years ago) link

I should've figured this thread's explosion was due to homosexual fantasies and fan-fiction being written. I mean, I didn't see it coming in the infamous Dave Matthews thread but this I should've predicted. How many more threads are going to lose to butt lust, ILX?

― Jingo, Thursday, 5 January 2006 00:07 (eighteen years ago) link

You never really lose with butt lust.

― Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Thursday, 5 January 2006 00:12 (eighteen years ago) link

Hey Dan, has your wife's Jake-love forced you to watch Brokeback Mountain yet?

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 5 January 2006 00:15 (eighteen years ago) link

Not yet! We just got around to seeing "Memoirs Of A Geisha".

― Dan (Zhang Ziyi + Gong Li + Michelle Yeoh = Eternal Hawttness) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 5 January 2006 00:39 (eighteen years ago) link

Memoirs of a Hey Aren't All These Japanese Women Played By Chinese Women?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 January 2006 00:49 (eighteen years ago) link

Memoirs of an Excessively Literal Mind

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 5 January 2006 00:53 (eighteen years ago) link

Well yes.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 January 2006 00:54 (eighteen years ago) link

Memoirs of a Joke That Doesn't Really Gain Anything from Having the Phrase "Memoirs of" Tacked on at the Beginning

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 5 January 2006 01:05 (eighteen years ago) link

http://rns.gamona.de/site_images/cards/incubus.jpg

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 5 January 2006 01:06 (eighteen years ago) link

Mostly it's just the lead women; the others are all Japanese (or Korean or Vietnamese, heh).

― Dan (Tenuous Points Hooray) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 5 January 2006 13:01 (eighteen years ago) link

"Crazians" is the correct terminology.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Thursday, 5 January 2006 15:47 (eighteen years ago) link

I just watched a Jake interview taped a couple of months ago for the gay channel; he sounds and looks as gay as Liberace.

But that's in the rider (hehehe) when you appear on it! Flame on! (Y'know I don't even know where that channel is on my Time Warner slate.)

Rob Marshall cast Chinese actresses in Geisha because the non-singers/non-dancers in Chicago worked out so well [sic].

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 5 January 2006 15:57 (eighteen years ago) link

The entire "they cast Chinese actresses!" thing is such a gigantic red herring; truth is they cast OMG SMOKIN' HAWTT actresses.

― Dan (GONG LI U R A TREET) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:01 (eighteen years ago) link

Can we stay on topic please?

http://teemix.aufeminin.com/imworld4/stars/fan/D20050425/1797_189277291_jrank__304_n18_H212506_L.jpg

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:07 (eighteen years ago) link

that is a treat!

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:08 (eighteen years ago) link

Can we stay on topic please?

http://www.iol.ie/~bugscave/offspring2/shuekilmer2.jpg

― Dan (Val Kilmer/Elizabeth Shue Lovechild) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:10 (eighteen years ago) link

truth is they cast OMG SMOKIN' HAWTT actresses.

This I will not contest.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:21 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.filmmakermagazine.com/blog/DONNIE-DARKO.jpg

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:26 (eighteen years ago) link

You guys upped this shit to the next level overnight. Bravo!

― Je4nn3 ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:29 (eighteen years ago) link

So essentially Jake and Frankie Muniz with tits need to star in a movie together, with Zhang Ziyi.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:29 (eighteen years ago) link

No, that's the opposite of what needs to happen.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:30 (eighteen years ago) link

Do you want to destroy civilization or not?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:31 (eighteen years ago) link

That's not quite destructive enough. Still some redemption in it.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:31 (eighteen years ago) link

Ned, I hate you.

― Dan (Because I Would Watch This Movie For Ziyi) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:32 (eighteen years ago) link

oh noes! heath ledger isn't actually american!

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:32 (eighteen years ago) link

Ned, I hate you.

Just holding you to your word.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:33 (eighteen years ago) link

oh shit! nor is cary grant!

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:33 (eighteen years ago) link

Take it to the Heath Ledger thread!

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:33 (eighteen years ago) link

What is Brokeback Mountain about? It looks like some sort of emo cowboy film. I don't like that genre.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:35 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.mybabymonkey.com/celebphoto/random/j_gyllenhaal024.jpg

― ShawShank Rambo Connection (Carey), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:35 (eighteen years ago) link

If Jake upchucked that taco within an hour of eating it, then surely, SURELY he is teh gay.

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:38 (eighteen years ago) link

????

(Note to self: Do not give tacos to gay friends.)

― Dan (Ew) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:42 (eighteen years ago) link

As soon as I find that website with the Heath-Jake man-love photos, this sight will implode.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:43 (eighteen years ago) link

I don't like Heathy!

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:44 (eighteen years ago) link

Nicole was OTM in post 2, btw.

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 5 January 2006 16:46 (eighteen years ago) link

I'm still pondering exactly how mortifying it would be to have your main claim to fame be that everyone on the Internet thinks you look like someone stuck Barbie tits on Frankie Muniz.

― Dan (Ritualized Suicide) Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 5 January 2006 17:08 (eighteen years ago) link

I hear him barking.

http://justjared.blogspot.com/2006/01/jake-gyllenhaal-puggle.html

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 6 January 2006 18:35 (eighteen years ago) link

How an earth can we have a 240 post thread about...JAKE GYLLEHNAAL?

and the Patrick Keiller thread gets only 11 replies!

:('''''''''

THAT is a man dribbling.

― [tuvan throat singer's profound lyric sheet-must read again] (nordicskilla), Friday, 6 January 2006 18:38 (eighteen years ago) link

Now just what are you doing on a Jared blogspot, Morb?

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 6 January 2006 18:41 (eighteen years ago) link

Apparently mortifying enough that she removed her Flickr account, Dan.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Friday, 6 January 2006 18:43 (eighteen years ago) link

I just go where Towleroad takes me.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 6 January 2006 19:57 (eighteen years ago) link

Safe-for-work Jake black-tie porn:

http://towleroad.typepad.com/towleroad/2006/01/jake_gyllenhaal.html

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Monday, 16 January 2006 16:02 (eighteen years ago) link

Like the posters I too wonder which "street fairs" Jake's been attending.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Monday, 16 January 2006 16:31 (eighteen years ago) link

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=29048224

Is it real? YOU DECIDE.

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 18 January 2006 03:16 (eighteen years ago) link

Jake Gyllenhaal: Emo or Not

― Jimmy Mod (I myself am lethal at 100 -110dB) (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Wednesday, 18 January 2006 03:24 (eighteen years ago) link

tweemo

― Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 18 January 2006 03:26 (eighteen years ago) link

Looks real to me. His taste in quaint harmless Hollywood liberalism (To Kill A Mockingbird) gives the game away.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 18 January 2006 04:12 (eighteen years ago) link

I don't know -- I feel like there is too much info thrown in trying to PROVE it's the REAL HIM. Dude can't really spell, either. Maybe he just likes talking about himself a lot!

― gunther heartymeal (keckles), Wednesday, 18 January 2006 04:13 (eighteen years ago) link

It could be him, but there's nothing in that profile that couldn't be the regurgitations of an obsessive celeb-mag reader. note the profile for his mom in his friends -- wtf?

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 18 January 2006 21:54 (eighteen years ago) link

that's definitely NOT HIM!

JAKE IF YOU'RE READING THIS, I LOVE YOU

― killy (baby lenin pin), Wednesday, 18 January 2006 21:58 (eighteen years ago) link

thanks, are you male or female?

― JG (jed), Wednesday, 18 January 2006 22:00 (eighteen years ago) link

there are a lot of famous people who maintain their own blogs!! By a lot I mean 2. But anyway that could very well be JG and if it is, seriously that shit was lame.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 18 January 2006 22:04 (eighteen years ago) link

I rather regret beginning this thread with semi-serious intentions, oblivious to the fact that what most of us really want is to bone him in a pup tent, preferably without clothes.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 18 January 2006 22:09 (eighteen years ago) link

I read somewhere he's not taking any jobs til the Oscar noms come out, so his price goes up.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 18 January 2006 22:10 (eighteen years ago) link

why do they call them pup tents?

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 18 January 2006 22:12 (eighteen years ago) link

Because it's the only kind of tent in which you can dog your companion.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 18 January 2006 22:13 (eighteen years ago) link

nothing hurts as much as knowing that i will never dog jake gyllenhaal

― killy (baby lenin pin), Wednesday, 18 January 2006 22:29 (eighteen years ago) link

That myspace page is hilarious.

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Thursday, 19 January 2006 14:32 (eighteen years ago) link

http://fatchris.co.uk/heroes/jake_gyllenhaal.jpg

He is such a girl here.

― RoxyMuzak½ (roxymuzak), Thursday, 19 January 2006 14:46 (eighteen years ago) link

He is such a girl here.

and a beautiful girl, at that...

― killy (baby lenin pin), Thursday, 19 January 2006 19:03 (eighteen years ago) link

kd lang

― RoxyMuzak© (roxymuzak), Thursday, 19 January 2006 19:06 (eighteen years ago) link

ihttp://fatchris.co.uk/heroes/jake_gyllenhaal.jpg ihttp://www.artistdirect.com/Images/Sources/AMGCOVERS/music/cover200/drd600/d686/d68651877ec.jpg

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 19 January 2006 19:08 (eighteen years ago) link

http://fatchris.co.uk/heroes/jake_gyllenhaal.jpg http://www.artistdirect.com/Images/Sources/AMGCOVERS/music/cover200/drd600/d686/d68651877ec.jpg

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 19 January 2006 19:08 (eighteen years ago) link

I swear to God that was an x-post.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 19 January 2006 19:09 (eighteen years ago) link

see!

― RoxyMuzak© (roxymuzak), Thursday, 19 January 2006 19:09 (eighteen years ago) link

Well. We know what biopic Oscar will fall in love with next year.

Shadowland, directed by Curtis Hanson

Starring: Jakye Gyllenhaal, Donald Sutherland, Jennifer Connelly.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 19 January 2006 19:17 (eighteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Musto in this week's Voice:

"What actor who's played gay was supposedly going to come out as bi on that talk show, but naturally didn't?"

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 15:19 (eighteen years ago) link

Tom Cruise?

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 15:25 (eighteen years ago) link

Lestat doesn't count!

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 15:27 (eighteen years ago) link

Uma Thurman? (I wish! Not that I'd have any chance...)

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 15:47 (eighteen years ago) link

Wasn't Jake just on oprah?

― Miss Misery xox (MissMiseryTX), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:33 (eighteen years ago) link

Yup.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:34 (eighteen years ago) link

Can we stop this idle speculation before I dissolve into copious tears?

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 17:47 (eighteen years ago) link

dave chappelle?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 17:48 (eighteen years ago) link

He is from Yellow Springs.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 17:49 (eighteen years ago) link

If you read Musto regularly THERE'S NOT MUCH TO SPECULATE ABOUT!

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 17:52 (eighteen years ago) link

I've got a trophy for you, too...

http://www.larioja.com/RC/200602/20/Media/bafta--200x240.JPG

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 20:05 (eighteen years ago) link

It was an upset too....but Clooney looked as delighted as the rest of us by his acceptance speech.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 21:59 (eighteen years ago) link

was this on BBC America?

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 22:07 (eighteen years ago) link

I'll send you the clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NeG2Hna7Pw

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 22:17 (eighteen years ago) link

He was adorable and managed to look not at all bored through the whole thing, unlike Heath Ledger who looked like the whole thing was beneath him.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 22:19 (eighteen years ago) link

I dunno about that...during those reaction shots Ledger looked like he couldn't contain his excitement. Sitting next to Michele Williams he probably wished he and Jake could go somewhere offstage to do the ol' Jack Twist.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Tuesday, 21 February 2006 22:22 (eighteen years ago) link

Saw Proof a few nights ago....Jake was largely wasted as Paltrow passed through her Stations of the Cross.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 01:30 (eighteen years ago) link

I'm telling you, Alfred -- Bubble Boy.

(and thanks, but Morbius' workplace didn't give him a computer with sound, and I have nothing at home...)

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 19:03 (eighteen years ago) link

REVIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! someone please post hot pics!!!!!!!!

― killy (baby lenin pin), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 05:24 (eighteen years ago) link

You rang?

http://www.benjaminnicholas.com/gyllenhaal-jake.jpg

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 05:27 (eighteen years ago) link

ughh he's so hot it makes me want to barf

― killy (baby lenin pin), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 05:28 (eighteen years ago) link

Nice cross.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 05:30 (eighteen years ago) link

Phil-two is infinitely hotter, dudes.

― ALLAH FROG (Mingus Dew), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 05:34 (eighteen years ago) link

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/ifc_films/donnie_darko/_group_photos/jake_gyllenhaal7.jpg

He dated Jenny Lewis? Huh.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 05:34 (eighteen years ago) link

oh now i REALLY hate her

― killy (baby lenin pin), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 05:35 (eighteen years ago) link

(xxpost) I cannot deny the hotness of Phil-Two. ;-)

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 05:35 (eighteen years ago) link

The Jenny Lewis pic is at least a few years old, btw.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 05:36 (eighteen years ago) link

this bears reposting

http://towleroad.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/jake5.jpg

― Shelly Winters Death Clip (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 05:38 (eighteen years ago) link

so does this
http://www.jake-gyllenhaal-france.net/arena02.jpg

― killy (baby lenin pin), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 05:40 (eighteen years ago) link

it's that mouth, right?

― killy (baby lenin pin), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 05:41 (eighteen years ago) link

http://malestars.codserver.com/cnt/john_travolta/photos/4.jpg

― Shelly Winters Death Clip (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 05:41 (eighteen years ago) link

ok guess not

― killy (baby lenin pin), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 05:42 (eighteen years ago) link

Yowza. It's the huge eyes, I think. Althoug the mouth is very nice, too.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 05:42 (eighteen years ago) link

i pretty much don't think he's attractive, am i gay?

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 05:58 (eighteen years ago) link

Who do you think is attractive?

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 06:02 (eighteen years ago) link

this is a difficult question because i find celebrity a huge turnoff?

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 06:05 (eighteen years ago) link

but that's not really the problem, he is too muscular and his mouth is weird (small) and he looks tired

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 06:06 (eighteen years ago) link

i'm so lame

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 06:07 (eighteen years ago) link

time is not gonna be kind to that chest.

― Shelly Winters Death Clip (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 06:09 (eighteen years ago) link

caitlin, he is the only celeb that has made me drool since scott baio in "baby talk" when i was 8 years old

― killy (baby lenin pin), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 06:26 (eighteen years ago) link

hi this is jesse, here to tell you that jake gyllenhaal is hot. to reiterate and recap: me jesse, jake hot.

thank you.

― unclejessjess (unclejessjess), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 07:37 (eighteen years ago) link

http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e374/Robl7/7775178Eliandal362006104707AM.jpg

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 12:07 (eighteen years ago) link

He is quite lovely.

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 12:19 (eighteen years ago) link

he is, now that he smiles

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 12:20 (eighteen years ago) link

I am so relieved that my po-faced rave at the beginning has been replaced with smutty lust from all concerned.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 14:20 (eighteen years ago) link

SOOOOOOOOOOOOO hot.

http://www.perezhilton.com/topics/upload/2006/03/butch3.png

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 15:21 (eighteen years ago) link

At the bar on Sunday night, some queen screamed at the TV when JG came on "SIT ON MY FAAAAACE!"

(i think it was "sit")

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 15:26 (eighteen years ago) link

soooooooooooo hot in brokeback.

― RoxyMuzak© (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 15:37 (eighteen years ago) link

Lookit Jake, giving William Hurt a kiss from the spider woman.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 15:42 (eighteen years ago) link

DUD

― geeta (geeta), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 15:44 (eighteen years ago) link

God, I would so love it if these two collaborated:

http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e374/Robl7/7770138Eliandal362006104729AM.jpg

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 16:33 (eighteen years ago) link

You may see it! Waters likes at least one hot boy in all his films.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 16:35 (eighteen years ago) link

Johnny Knoxville isn't hot.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 16:47 (eighteen years ago) link

Chris Isaak is though.

― RoxyMuzak© (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 16:57 (eighteen years ago) link

Waters no doubt thinks Knoxville is.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 17:01 (eighteen years ago) link

knox is a real gay icon

― RoxyMuzak© (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 7 March 2006 17:02 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.thesuperficial.com/images/2006/03/jake-gyllenhaal-preoscar-2.jpg http://www.thesuperficial.com/images/2006/03/jake-gyllenhaal-preoscar-1.jpg

― amateurist0, Wednesday, 8 March 2006 02:32 (eighteen years ago) link

For the other post-Oscars pic, the one where he looks like he's trying to steal Diana Ossana's soul, Gyllenahl has earned my undying respect. But he's still not my favorite Gyllie sibling.

― Erick Dampier is better than Shaq (miloaukerman), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 02:39 (eighteen years ago) link

He's too muppety for me to be attracted to him but after looking at those post-oscars pictures I can't help but like him.

― My Psychic Friends Are Strangely Silent (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 02:52 (eighteen years ago) link

I didn't think he was good in Donnie Darko but I haven't seen anything else he's been in. He's cute, though. Where is the Gyllenhaal/Dunst sex tape? WHERE? The only bad part would be the Coldplay soundtrack.

― Zwan (miccio), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 03:20 (eighteen years ago) link

He was ok in Donnie Darko but my patience for actors with dorky comb-overs designed to make'em look sensitive is exhausted. I prefer'em sticking their tongues out behind Ang Lee.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 03:36 (eighteen years ago) link

He was better in the Good Girl than Donnie Darko, playing the same kind of character.

― Erick Dampier is better than Shaq (miloaukerman), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 03:38 (eighteen years ago) link

I can confirm that he is hot.

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 12:39 (eighteen years ago) link

Did you give'em the old Jack Twist, tim?

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 13:40 (eighteen years ago) link

I want to see all the post-Oscar pixorz.

― RoxyMuzak© (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 14:23 (eighteen years ago) link

Where is the Gyllenhaal/Sarsgaard sex tape? (Depending on the rumors' veracity, I'll take either G.)

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 14:29 (eighteen years ago) link

Did you give'em the old Jack Twist, tim?

http://www.itvt.com/images/judy1.jpg

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 14:49 (eighteen years ago) link

"Jack Nasty loves you!"

http://pics.livejournal.com/madlori/pic/00050tg2

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 17:59 (eighteen years ago) link

where are yall finding these pics?!?!

― RoxyMuzak© (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 18:07 (eighteen years ago) link

If Tim had a close encounter with JG, I missed it!?

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 18:24 (eighteen years ago) link

The Toothy Tile controversy continues to play out.

― My Psychic Friends Are Strangely Silent (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 18:28 (eighteen years ago) link

I must say, I'm having trouble buying the Toothy Tile shit, wishful thinking notwithstanding.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 19:29 (eighteen years ago) link

I just read up on Toothy Tile -- hadn't heard of it before. If T.T. is indeed Jake, then why does Ted Casablanca say that T.T.'s lover is NOT Peter Sarsgaard?

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 19:44 (eighteen years ago) link

because it's Heath Ledger, silly!

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 20:07 (eighteen years ago) link

this thread is causing me workplace discomfort

― RoxyMuzak© (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 20:13 (eighteen years ago) link

Alfred, no.

"I figured if I couldn't be around my girlfriend, I would settle for her brother," said Sarsgaard, who's dating Maggie Gyllenhaal.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 20:13 (eighteen years ago) link

Gyllenhaal received the Desert Palm Achievement Award from colleague Peter Sarsgaard (who, by the way, is dating Jake's sister, Maggie Gyllenhaal). Sarsgaard said he was planning to say nice things about Gyllenhaal, since they all picked on him during the making of "Jarhead." However, the first thing that Sarsgaard noted was Gyllenhaal's great hair. He said, "Jake's got an amazing head of hair. Look at it, it's incredible."

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 20:15 (eighteen years ago) link

OMG, did anybody see Sarsgaard at the Indie Spirit Awards?? He came out -- er, went onstage -- with gift bags dangling from his arms and did everything but howl "It's Raining Men."

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 20:20 (eighteen years ago) link

Saturday morning while waiting for an outside table at Sant Ambroeus I spotted Maggie Gyllenhaal (looking very well put together) and a very scruffy Peter Sarsgaard sitting with an older woman and…drum roll please…a truly hot, relaxed, smiling brother Jake. Jake was clearly not trying to go incognito as he was holding a little puppy on his lap. Despite this critical mass of star power everyone was pretty much leaving them alone. At one point Peter stood up and started rubbing Jake’s shoulders which caused me to gasp.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 20:22 (eighteen years ago) link

Jake, Maggie, puppy

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y282/JunkFeud/gyllenhaal/gyllenhaal-lunching11.jpg

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 20:28 (eighteen years ago) link

hahaha jaymc has the goods! or maybe he's just writing it...

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 20:29 (eighteen years ago) link

Puggles will keep them together.

― My Psychic Friends Are Strangely Silent (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 20:32 (eighteen years ago) link

The older woman at the table, btw -- sitting next to Jake -- is Mrs. G. (Naomi Foner).

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y282/JunkFeud/gyllenhaal/gyllenhaal-lunching6.jpg

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 20:33 (eighteen years ago) link

whew.... getting light-headed...

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 21:16 (eighteen years ago) link

Where are you getting this, jay?

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 21:21 (eighteen years ago) link

(1) http://www.philly.com/mld/philly/entertainment/columnists/13159177.htm
(2) http://www.emanuellevy.com/article.php?articleID=912
(3) http://www.gawker.com/news/stalker/gawker-stalker-the-gyllenhaalsarsgaard-puppy-saga-takes-a-homoerotic-twist-135958.php

Photos: http://junk-feud.com/archives/mama-gyllenhaal/

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 21:27 (eighteen years ago) link

(I LOVE Naomi Foner's silver boots in that pic!)

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 21:28 (eighteen years ago) link

Hoo boy:

On the same wavelength as Sarsgaard, Gyllenhaal said that he indeed "loves to tell stories in film," but then immediately said, "I already did a gay cowboy movie this year. If I did a musical, people might start asking questions. But don't think it's not beating deeply in my veins, and the urge is a deep urge. Deep, deep urge."

Unrelated, but this is too irresistable:

The highly acclaimed Toronto-based filmmaker ("Dead Ringers," "The Fly," "Crash") received the Sonny Bono Visionary Filmmaker Award...

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 21:33 (eighteen years ago) link

Here's a handy comp of the Toothy Tile stuff:

http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/2890039.html

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 23:35 (eighteen years ago) link

OMG I missed the "deep, deep urge" part!

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 8 March 2006 23:42 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.scott-o-rama.com/Coppermine/albums/userpics/10001/2005-02-26-torso29sc1il.jpg

― RoxyMuzak© (roxymuzak), Thursday, 9 March 2006 00:02 (eighteen years ago) link

Eh, whatever. Maybe Gylly is very close to his quasi-brother-in-law Peter, so that massages aren't so outrageous.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 9 March 2006 00:56 (eighteen years ago) link

Also: let's not discount the fact that the camera doesn't lie. It was hard to hide Monty Clift's obvious homo impulses, no matter how genuine his chemistry with Olivia De Havilland and Elizabeth Taylor. Gylly hasn't been in enough movies (i.e. good movies) to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that he's got buttboy urges, whereas Clift had used (or was used) his ambivalence to startling effect in a half-dozen movies.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 9 March 2006 00:59 (eighteen years ago) link

"startling effect" = #3 on Giant List of Phrases That Should Be Banned from Cultural Criticism

also: boy, susan sarandon is hott.

― amateurist0, Thursday, 9 March 2006 05:20 (eighteen years ago) link

Jake working out while shooting Jarhead.

http://towleroad.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/jake_gyllenhaal_shirrtless_.jpg

http://towleroad.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/jake_gyllenhaal_shirtless_3.jpg

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 9 March 2006 16:46 (eighteen years ago) link

I just read up on Toothy Tile -- hadn't heard of it before. If T.T. is indeed Jake, then why does Ted Casablanca say that T.T.'s lover is NOT Peter Sarsgaard?
-- jaymc
_____________________
because it's Heath Ledger, silly!

-- Alfred, Lord Sotosyn

O RLY?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v503/CitizenGatsby/r0p00z.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v503/CitizenGatsby/r0p08p.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v503/CitizenGatsby/r0p09c.jpg

― Mama Roux (Mama Roux), Thursday, 9 March 2006 23:52 (eighteen years ago) link

Re the first picture: I thought it was Jake's hair that Sarsgaard was supposed to be lauding?!

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 10 March 2006 00:44 (eighteen years ago) link

it's all about the trouser

Jake's a weiner - BUT KEEFER'S PACKING BEEF!!!!

― john clarkson, Friday, 10 March 2006 00:56 (eighteen years ago) link

Kiefer Sutherland?! postpixplzkthx

― Mama Roux (Mama Roux), Friday, 10 March 2006 01:42 (eighteen years ago) link

the ball-scooping motion going on in that first photo...

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Friday, 10 March 2006 04:01 (eighteen years ago) link

It irritates me no end that Gyllie can flash that 100-watt smile whether he's dealing with Oprah-related inanity or Peter Sarsgaard cupping his balls.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 10 March 2006 04:15 (eighteen years ago) link

I don't like Jarhead Jake.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 10 March 2006 04:34 (eighteen years ago) link

If anyone has Zodiac pics, now's the time to post'em.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 10 March 2006 13:44 (eighteen years ago) link

I like Jarhead Jake less. Seems like a totally different entity.

― RoxyMuzak© (roxymuzak), Friday, 10 March 2006 13:50 (eighteen years ago) link

Jarhead Jake works fine for me BEFORE they made him shave his torso for shooting.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 10 March 2006 14:11 (eighteen years ago) link

His lips and eyeballs are almost comically enlarged. He still looks hot to me:

http://www.moviesonline.ca/movie-gallery/albums/jarhead/jarhead.jpg

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 10 March 2006 17:21 (eighteen years ago) link

Like I said, muppety.

― My Psychic Friends Are Strangely Silent (Ex Leon), Friday, 10 March 2006 17:39 (eighteen years ago) link

if there is anything i like in a man, it is "comically enlarged"

― RoxyMuzak© (roxymuzak), Friday, 10 March 2006 17:39 (eighteen years ago) link

ugh, the muppety thing is so so OTM

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Friday, 10 March 2006 17:43 (eighteen years ago) link

Agreed. Jake's got a muppety look about him.

― Mama Roux (Mama Roux), Friday, 10 March 2006 19:06 (eighteen years ago) link

You are all daft.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 10 March 2006 19:09 (eighteen years ago) link

That much more Toothy for you and me.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 10 March 2006 19:54 (eighteen years ago) link

So why has Toothy recanted?

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 10 March 2006 20:17 (eighteen years ago) link

like lots of actors, he has a very large head

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 10 March 2006 20:21 (eighteen years ago) link

"You know what they say about a man with comically enlarged lips and eyeballs...."

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Friday, 10 March 2006 23:05 (eighteen years ago) link

http://img382.imageshack.us/img382/6271/standin9iw.jpg

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Saturday, 11 March 2006 19:40 (eighteen years ago) link

About time someone commented on last month's Vanity Fair shoot.

ihttp://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f308/sotoalf/jake.jpg

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 24 March 2006 00:16 (eighteen years ago) link

ihttp://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f308/sotoalf/jake.jpg

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 24 March 2006 00:17 (eighteen years ago) link

Dammit:

ihttp://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f308/sotoalf/jake.jpg

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 24 March 2006 00:21 (eighteen years ago) link

http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f308/sotoalf/jake.jpg

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 00:25 (eighteen years ago) link

(use http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f308/sotoalf/jake.jpg" >)

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 00:25 (eighteen years ago) link

wifout spaces.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 00:25 (eighteen years ago) link

he looks so perfect in the sarsgaard ball-cupping picture.

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 24 March 2006 00:40 (eighteen years ago) link

ugh. my favorite thread ever. i've said it before, and i'll say it again: he's so hot it makes me wanna barf

― killy (baby lenin pin), Friday, 24 March 2006 03:57 (eighteen years ago) link

This boy is insultingly handsome. I feel a bit dirty even looking at those pictures - he's so young!

― Lara (Lara), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:30 (eighteen years ago) link

Who knew that looking like a nondescript fratboy made you the paragon of male American attractiveness?

― Dan (Affleck Syndrome) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:32 (eighteen years ago) link

What would postage on one of those frat-boy things be?

― Lara (Lara), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:33 (eighteen years ago) link

(xpost) Uhhhh, no.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:34 (eighteen years ago) link

Dan yr treading on precarious grounds with some of the Hollywood wimmin folx you've claimed are hot!!! For heavens sakes Halle Berry looks like those Ethnic Barbies they used to put out that were of kind of non-descript race and were the same thing as Barbie, except "brown"!

I WILL DEFEND U, JAKE

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:35 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.renge.jp/cgi-bin/blosxom/files/0509/050905_2.jpg

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:37 (eighteen years ago) link

Um, thanks for pointing out exactly why Halle Berry is hot, Ally. I was confused for a second.

That is also the sexiest Barbie doll I've ever seen; help?

― Dan (ROWR WAIT IT'S A DOLL OMG) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:41 (eighteen years ago) link

...

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:43 (eighteen years ago) link

He's on some other shit.

― Jimmy Mod: GRILL ENSPEKTOR (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:43 (eighteen years ago) link

Jimmy teh Mod says her boobies aren't that good. xpost

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:44 (eighteen years ago) link

(The important word in my Jake post is "nondescript"; he's got this Affleck-esque quality of almost complete physical anonymity. For me, one hallmark of attractiveness is some distinctive physical trait; for Halle it's those amazing eyes/nose, for Salma it's that ridiculously curvy body, for Angela Basset it's those amazing cheekbones, etc etc etc. Jake Gyllenhaal's distinctive feature appears to be having a ladyface.)

― Dan (I Don't Get It) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:45 (eighteen years ago) link

(n e wayz, my point was that dissing a dude for being too generic good-looking guy standard (which isn't true of Jake anyway!) is a bad position 4 u 2 be taking)

(I can't believe I'm bored enuff 2 b writing like this and laughing at it)

XPOSTS Angela Basset and Salma Hayek don't fall into the uncanny valley world of celebrities to me!!!!!!!

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:46 (eighteen years ago) link

I guess I would take that criticism on the chin if I believed that there are legions of women out there who look just like Halle Berry.

― Dan (Now, Jennifer Aniston And Jennifer Garner...) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:48 (eighteen years ago) link

i disagree with the "anonymity" claim -- what makes him attractive for me is that he always looks like a bar mitzvah boy getting drunk for the first time.

― s/c (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:49 (eighteen years ago) link

Wow, Dan is wrong about everydamnthing.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:50 (eighteen years ago) link

Haha well that's me told.

― Dan (Chagrin!) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:52 (eighteen years ago) link

Dude, Jake has amazing huge doe-eyes.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:53 (eighteen years ago) link

OK Jennifer Aniston is not generic looking at all. Incredibly unattractive in my opinion, but she doesn't look like she was created by a morphing program done up by some Stanford researcher trying to create the perfectly symmetrical face. WHICH IS CREEPY. UNCANNY VALLEY. ETC.

I think maybe we have different definitions of "generic looking"??

also yeah jbr is otm!!

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:53 (eighteen years ago) link

Dan, name some of the MEN you find attractive and tell us why. maybe you just don't find men attractive really? Halle certainly looks hot to me but selma is completely *meh* (to me)and that's essentially because i just don't find women that enticing, on the whole. with jake it may not be so much that there's any one stand out thing but that the whole package comes together perfectly and that he seems pretty natural with it. speaking for myself, i think his eyes are mesmerising.

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:54 (eighteen years ago) link

jennifer aniston isn't unattractive, but thanks to bradgate she's got this victimized hausfrau image that she'll never be able to shake.

― s/c (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:55 (eighteen years ago) link

J.Aniston was a lot cuter (comparitively) when she started Friends and had mousey hair and some chub to her than she is now. Still wasn't cute to me but it wasn't trying too hard, you know?

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:56 (eighteen years ago) link

jen will never be cuter than she was in leprechaun.

― s/c (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 March 2006 21:58 (eighteen years ago) link

well really I'm not sure why she tried to top that movie anyway.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:00 (eighteen years ago) link

maybe you just don't find men attractive really?

I freely admit that this is probably a gigantic factor in me Not Getting Jake.

The guys I think are handsome or attractive are guys I either think I look like or would really like to look like: Shemar Moore, Jesse L. Martin, Brad Pitt, Larenz Tate, Harrison Ford, Djimon Honsou... people like that.

― Dan (Not Some Doe-Eyed Anonyboy) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:04 (eighteen years ago) link

ew brad pitt! the man looks like a walking venereal disease.

― s/c (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:06 (eighteen years ago) link

Yeah he's kind of shower-free.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:06 (eighteen years ago) link

― Dan (DREAMY) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:08 (eighteen years ago) link

dan you realize that in another 10 years brad pitt is going to be the spitting image of sammy hagar, right?

― s/c (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:09 (eighteen years ago) link

hahahahahahahaha

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:09 (eighteen years ago) link

dan vs. GURLS

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:10 (eighteen years ago) link

yeah brad's the one i know on that list that i find unattractive. he looks like he's storing food in his cheeks.

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:10 (eighteen years ago) link

OMG Don't google image search Shemar Moore at work.

― Dan (PUBES) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:12 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.ctv.ca/archives/CTVShows/img2/Programs/Extra/LO_Martin_240Tall.jpg

Jesse L. Martin

― Dan (Looks Like He Could Be My Cousin) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:13 (eighteen years ago) link

http://jewel.morgan.edu/~igillis/larenz.gif

Larenz Tate

― Dan (Easygoing Charm) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:15 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.eurweb.com/images/articles/200502/djimon_honsou(005-from-constantine-med).JPG

― Dan (BIG PIMPIN') Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:16 (eighteen years ago) link

So yeah, random white guy who looks like every other dude walking down the streets of Back Bay = nothing particularly special or distinctive, sorry ladies/gay men/bi men.

― Dan (So Saith Straight Black Man) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:17 (eighteen years ago) link

can i just say... it's so beyond cliche by now, but clooney REALLY IS THAT HOT.

http://i.cnn.net/cnn/2003/SHOWBIZ/Movies/09/03/ple.clooney.reut/story.clooney.jpg

― s/c (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:19 (eighteen years ago) link

Clooney is defintely hot. And so is Jake.

Dan can you give us a map to this Back Bay?

― Miss Misery xox (MissMiseryTX), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:21 (eighteen years ago) link

my favorite "hunky actors" are old-school guys like donald sutherland, richard benjamin, dustin hoffman, bud cort circa brewster mccloud...

― s/c (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:21 (eighteen years ago) link

Dan (Not Convincing Anyone) Perry

― elmo, holy helper (allocryptic), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:23 (eighteen years ago) link

oh yeah, and redford in the '70s too. (xpost)

― s/c (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:24 (eighteen years ago) link

1. Fly to Logan Airport.
2. Take the airport bus to the Airport T-stop.
3. Take the train to Government Center. Switch from the blue line to the green line inbound.
4. Take any train to the Arlington stop.
5. Exit the subway.
6. Watch a legion of guys who look just like Jake Gyllenhaal power-walk from business meeting to bar.

― Dan (Easy Peasy) Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:24 (eighteen years ago) link

yeah well i guess there's a racial divide here, to an extent. none of the guys Dan posted pics of are amazingly good looking, at least not in those photos. clooney is hot, jake is hot. they've both got alot of personality.

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:27 (eighteen years ago) link

no, Jesse L. Martin is quite hot. Just not as hot as Jake.

― elmo, holy helper (allocryptic), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:29 (eighteen years ago) link

has someone already posted this already? probably. anyway:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-l-YUbWMiE&search=jake%20gyllenhaal

― scott seward (scott seward), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:35 (eighteen years ago) link

this one is good too:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1T0P9csu-Es&search=jake%20gyllenhaal

― scott seward (scott seward), Friday, 24 March 2006 22:41 (eighteen years ago) link

I WANT TO MEET JAKE AND DAN PERRY AT THE SAME BAR.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Saturday, 25 March 2006 01:31 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.whitecube.com/images/prog/wc/past/saw2/saw2_lrg_023.jpg

Chiwetel Ejiofor is destined to be the English, black George Clooney.

― smooth (miloaukerman), Saturday, 25 March 2006 01:41 (eighteen years ago) link

Strange turns this thread takes. The only new thing I have to say about Jake G. is that no other photo of his will beat those Oscar party ones.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 25 March 2006 03:32 (eighteen years ago) link

This thread is a chapter in Ulysses.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Saturday, 25 March 2006 03:45 (eighteen years ago) link

And jake said yes he said yes...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 25 March 2006 03:47 (eighteen years ago) link

I think Jake should play Wonder Woman.

― pixel farmer (Rock Hardy), Saturday, 25 March 2006 03:53 (eighteen years ago) link

Well, the thing about the Oscar party pix is that they make Jake seems "gettable." Esp since he's not Stunningly Beautiful in the way that Djimon Hounsou is.

Brad Pitt only looks great when DIRTY.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 25 March 2006 17:34 (eighteen years ago) link

Well, the thing about the Oscar party pix is that they make Jake seems "gettable."

Well, that and in them Gyllie has his tongue out. A lot.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Saturday, 25 March 2006 17:39 (eighteen years ago) link

Sir ian McKellan blasts Jake Gyllenhaal:

SIR IAN MCKELLEN has criticised JAKE GYLLENHAAL for being apprehensive about kissing his BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN co-star HEATH LEDGER on screen. The openly gay THE LORD OF THE RINGS actor - who recently spoke out against Hollywood's old-fashioned views on sexuality - lambasted Gyllenhaal, 25, for failing to consider how his comments would be interpreted from a homosexual perspective. He says, "I got very upset when one of the actors said it was the most terrifying job he'd ever had because it involved him kissing another man. "Imagine how rude that is. Suppose I'd said the most appalling thing I ever to do was kiss HELEN MIRREN!"

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:13 (eighteen years ago) link

Appalling != terrifying, Sir Ian.

― Big Willy and the Twins (miloaukerman), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:17 (eighteen years ago) link

So yeah, random white guy who looks like every other dude walking down the streets of Back Bay

OK Dan! You lie like a kite, fyi!

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:21 (eighteen years ago) link

Jake looked/sounded about 12 when he gave that little speech at the Oscars about how we should all go to the movies (and stop bootlegging n shit). Emmanuel Lewis would have been more manly.

― Je4nn3 Æ’urÂ¥ (Je4nne Fury), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:35 (eighteen years ago) link

Okay, um, so am I the first person to realize "ranch hand" is a really nasty synonym for "masturbation"?

― Je4nn3 Æ’urY really hates herself sometimes (Je4nne Fury), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:37 (eighteen years ago) link

You must love ranch dressing.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:48 (eighteen years ago) link

(on your tossed salad).

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 30 March 2006 19:48 (eighteen years ago) link

Jake looked/sounded about 12 when he gave that little speech at the Oscars about how we should all go to the movies (and stop bootlegging n shit). Emmanuel Lewis would have been more manly.

OK, but you do realize the little speech itself was written by and for 12-yr-olds? I'm glad he just thought, "This is horseshit."

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 30 March 2006 20:54 (eighteen years ago) link

"jake goes to cowboy camp" clip highly recommended for wifebeater goodness:

http://www.planetout.com/entertainment/news/?sernum=1223&navpath=/entertainment/brokeback

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 1 April 2006 16:46 (eighteen years ago) link

That's exactly what my film critic friend wrote in her DVD review running this Tuesday. We both know how reliable she is!

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Saturday, 1 April 2006 18:30 (eighteen years ago) link

but here we have visual evidence that she is OTM, for once!

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Monday, 3 April 2006 13:23 (eighteen years ago) link

she may even have used the phrase 'wifebeater love.'

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Monday, 3 April 2006 13:48 (eighteen years ago) link

My Film Critic Friend on the BBM DVD extras:

Perhaps intentionally, the first offering, called On Being a Cowboy, features Ledger matter-of-factly announcing, "I can split a log," his head shaved, native Australian accent intact. Before you can begin to swoon properly, Gyllenhaal is charitably giving an interview in a wifebeater and a cowboy hat. (The latter actor, at only 25, has got to be one of the most beguiling performers in motion picture history; seriously, you can imagine leaving Clooney for this man. Clooney!) All this eye candy swirling around is sure to be welcomed by the movie's target audience -- that's right, human beings with good taste -- but it does not quite distract enough from the fact that the featurette is a mere 51/2 minutes long.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Tuesday, 4 April 2006 12:35 (eighteen years ago) link

press flack: NO, HE IS NOT DATING THIS GUY

http://towleroad.typepad.com/towleroad/2006/04/rep_jake_gyllen.html

Photo #2 is esp "beguiling."

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:02 (eighteen years ago) link

their body language is quite homo-suggestive

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:08 (eighteen years ago) link

Even though Jake is now split with Kirsten Dunst and Nichols broke off his engagement to Claire Oswalt, Gyllenhaal's rep says he and Nichols are just friends."

Notice that the agent didn't affirm Jake's heterosexuality. "Just friends," har har.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:17 (eighteen years ago) link

Laker date #2, now with a beard -- I mean, facial hair.

http://dlisted.blogspot.com/2006/04/dont-deny-this-love.html

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Monday, 17 April 2006 18:29 (eighteen years ago) link

OMG that Austin Nichols is HOTT. Way to go Jake.

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 08:53 (eighteen years ago) link

Spotted in the West Village yesterday with another "friend":

[IMG]http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f308/sotoalf/normal_003.jpg[/IMG]

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 15:08 (eighteen years ago) link

ihttp://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f308/sotoalf/normal_003.jpg

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 15:08 (eighteen years ago) link

so cynical, Alfred!

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 15:17 (eighteen years ago) link

i'm going to turn that jake gyllenhall, you mark my words

― RoxyMuzak© (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 15:37 (eighteen years ago) link

You mean twist him, yukyuk.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 15:47 (eighteen years ago) link

The Young Friend in the photo is "Chris Fischer, an assistant chef at Babbo in NYC, and that he "grew up with Jake in Martha's Vineyard."

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 16:06 (eighteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

http://towleroad.typepad.com/.shared/image.html?/photos/uncategorized/jg4.jpg

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 11 May 2006 13:20 (eighteen years ago) link

http://towleroad.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/jg4.jpg

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 11 May 2006 13:31 (eighteen years ago) link

thanks

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 11 May 2006 13:39 (eighteen years ago) link

You have no idea how exhausting it ws to chase him around in a wheelchair just so's the fucker can give me a dollar.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 11 May 2006 14:16 (eighteen years ago) link

[img]http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f308/sotoalf/002.jpg[/img]

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 19 May 2006 15:26 (eighteen years ago) link

http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f308/sotoalf/002.jpg

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 19 May 2006 15:26 (eighteen years ago) link

Natalie Portman?!? NOOOOOOOOO!

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 26 May 2006 16:57 (eighteen years ago) link

Have we talking about the Jared Leto "coming out" yet?

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 26 May 2006 17:05 (eighteen years ago) link

My heart swells whenever this thread is revived.

What's this about Princess Amidala?

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 26 May 2006 17:29 (eighteen years ago) link

"heart," huh

One of the NY tabs alleged a JG-NP romance today, can't find pic.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 26 May 2006 17:34 (eighteen years ago) link

jaymc more please!

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 26 May 2006 17:35 (eighteen years ago) link

"alleged."

I have a suspicion that Portman and Austin Nichols are the same person; they're never seen together.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 26 May 2006 17:39 (eighteen years ago) link

latest Kathy Griffin special: "I love how Tom Cruise is so crazy now that the gays don't even want him? It's all about the Gyllenhaal now."

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 26 May 2006 17:40 (eighteen years ago) link

is Austin named after Wild Turkey?

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 26 May 2006 17:44 (eighteen years ago) link

the gays don't want Jared Leto either!

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 26 May 2006 17:47 (eighteen years ago) link

i'll take him.

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 26 May 2006 17:48 (eighteen years ago) link

for jed

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 26 May 2006 17:49 (eighteen years ago) link

i'll take him.

You wish!

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Friday, 26 May 2006 18:17 (eighteen years ago) link

JL's comment was completely facetious.

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Friday, 26 May 2006 21:51 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2006/06/05/kiss_narrowweb__300x424,0.jpg

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Monday, 5 June 2006 16:27 (eighteen years ago) link

I read that he tried keeping some "distance" from presenter Justin Timberlake.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Monday, 5 June 2006 16:32 (eighteen years ago) link

Not really ... he just didn't "best kiss" him!

http://towleroad.typepad.com/towleroad/2006/06/spoiler_jake_gy.html

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Monday, 5 June 2006 16:35 (eighteen years ago) link

oh i could make that kiss work even better jakey poo

― anthony easton (anthony), Monday, 5 June 2006 19:42 (eighteen years ago) link

one month passes...

NO HE'S NOT GEY YOU HEATHEN.

ihttp://iheartjakemedia.com/displayimage.php?album=lastup&cat=0&pos=1

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 17:29 (seventeen years ago) link

[img]http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f308/sotoalf/normal_002-1.jpg[/img]

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 18:03 (seventeen years ago) link

NICE BACK

http://www.towleroad.com/towleroad/2006/07/jakes_back_more.html

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Monday, 17 July 2006 19:09 (seventeen years ago) link

One of the commenters:

Jake Gyll's penchant for wearing spandex is getting way too creepy for a guy who thinks for himself as straight(yeah right,and Mariah carey's thin!).He's already prowling for a new beard in Natalie Portman.People say that Jake's fascinated by Natalie but are'nt gay men fascinated by bright women like NP.Now,he's hanging out with Lance Armstrong and Mathew Mcconaughey.I could imagine what these three would do in a room:just thinking about it makes me horny.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Monday, 17 July 2006 20:09 (seventeen years ago) link

More spandex (apparently he may play Lance A in a biopic... zzzzzzzzzz):

http://trent.blogspot.com/2006/07/fabulous-biker-boys.html

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 28 July 2006 16:50 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.towleroad.com/photos/uncategorized/jake_matt_2.jpg

.
.
.
UH
.
.

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Friday, 28 July 2006 16:56 (seventeen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Grocery shoppin':

ihttp://iheartjakemedia.com/displayimage.php?pos=-26321

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 16:38 (seventeen years ago) link

dude, no way i'm gonna register.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 16:43 (seventeen years ago) link

bringing sexy back:

http://www.towleroad.com/towleroad/2006/08/jake_finally_go.html

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 16 August 2006 19:07 (seventeen years ago) link

A temporary tattoo!

http://www.towleroad.com/towleroad/2006/08/jake_gyllenhaal_1.html

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 24 August 2006 12:37 (seventeen years ago) link

....Townes?!?!!

― RoxyMuzak© (roxymuzak), Thursday, 24 August 2006 14:30 (seventeen years ago) link

I doubt even Jakey in spandex can draw me to that Lance A biopic, blechhh.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 24 August 2006 14:55 (seventeen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Jake and Lance were standing mere feet away from me at the Gnarls Barkley show last night.

I thought I was excited as I could be enjoying Gnarls until I looked over and saw Jakey (OMG!!SOHOT!!WTF!!OMG!!). He kept looking around and smiling at everyone and I saw him rebuff two different ladies. There was a third , unknown gentleman with him. He and Lance were wearing matching yellow rubber bracelets. cute.

― Sam: Screwed and Chopped (Molly Jones), Thursday, 14 September 2006 12:44 (seventeen years ago) link

Matthew Maconnechey (sp?) will be pissed.

― jed_ (jed), Thursday, 14 September 2006 12:55 (seventeen years ago) link

I truly expected to see him join Jake as he's pretty ubiqitous around town. Either he's still pouting over losing the part or over the defeat we received from Ohio State last week.

― Sam: Screwed and Chopped (Molly Jones), Thursday, 14 September 2006 12:58 (seventeen years ago) link

I think MMac is already pissed he lost the Armstrong film part.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 14 September 2006 13:02 (seventeen years ago) link

Maybe Jake can play Matthew McConaughey.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 14 September 2006 13:04 (seventeen years ago) link

Fucking Gnarls Barkley cancelled here... Oh wait, that's not the point of the thread. OMG You're all pervs! Class...

― Kv_nol (Kv_nol), Thursday, 14 September 2006 13:19 (seventeen years ago) link

haha.

― jed_ (jed), Thursday, 14 September 2006 13:21 (seventeen years ago) link

It's nice to see a hot guy with a tummy, but then one can plummet to earth by reading a bunch of queer bubbleheads' snipes about how FAT he is:

http://www.towleroad.com/towleroad/2006/09/jake_gyllenhaal_1.html

McGyllenStrong threeesoming at the UT game:

http://trent.blogspot.com/2006/09/gettin-horn-y.html

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 14 September 2006 14:02 (seventeen years ago) link

Hm, from an interview before that game:

Is there a possibility you may play Lance in a movie?

(Gyllenhaal) The truth is, one, it would be a great movie. I think, judging how many people love him, and it would be an honor for whoever plays him, but it's too early to say.

(Armstrong) People ask me all the time, and it's not my job to (decide who plays me). It's the studio's job to cast it, and it's the artist's job to read the script and say, 'You know what? I want to do it or I don't want to do it. I like it or I don't like it.' We're not to that point yet. A couple of weeks ago, all of that came out, and it was like, 'What?'

(Gyllenhaal) The bottom line is that Lance and I are good friends and I respect everything that he's done, and it's not about a movie right now.

― Sam: Screwed and Chopped (Molly Jones), Thursday, 14 September 2006 14:46 (seventeen years ago) link

Whenever Gyllie lapses into Hollywoodspeak I go limp.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 14 September 2006 14:50 (seventeen years ago) link

“Gyllenhaal's not gay… and the gays all want him. They're done with Cruise, they've had it, he's too crazy…You know the gays are moody. You gotta keep up...”
--Comedian Kathy Griffin on Larry King Live, July 11, 2006.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 20:56 (seventeen years ago) link

Sorry, that was pointless.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 21:07 (seventeen years ago) link

You were apologizing for your fruitless Deschanel love.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 20 September 2006 21:10 (seventeen years ago) link

Jake and Reece to star in new film by Tsotsi director.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 27 September 2006 14:15 (seventeen years ago) link

three months pass...

Saturday Night Live tomorrow!

― Tape Store (Tape Store), Saturday, 13 January 2007 04:39 (seventeen years ago) link

He has a hard (heh heh) act to follow, three weeks after Justin.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Saturday, 13 January 2007 14:09 (seventeen years ago) link

yeah, suuuure....

dammit, I have to tape this shit now.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 13 January 2007 16:25 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm assuming he's promoting the Fincher movie.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Saturday, 13 January 2007 16:27 (seventeen years ago) link

WELL?!?

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Sunday, 14 January 2007 14:27 (seventeen years ago) link

I thought the Dreamgirls monologue was monontonous, but he was really psyched and energetic throughout. The episode was pretty consistently fun.

― Zwan (miccio), Sunday, 14 January 2007 14:53 (seventeen years ago) link

haha "monotonous"

― Zwan (miccio), Sunday, 14 January 2007 14:54 (seventeen years ago) link

From what I've seen of the current cast, they seem like an amiable group of people who just need a strong host to set them off. Nobody involved seems like they can get that energy going on their own, though. No "stars."

― Zwan (miccio), Sunday, 14 January 2007 14:55 (seventeen years ago) link

If only Jennifer Hudson had arms like these.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_g0-xhVFIRs

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Sunday, 14 January 2007 15:00 (seventeen years ago) link

His remaining Jarhead buffness was about all that impressed me about that skit

― Zwan (miccio), Sunday, 14 January 2007 15:37 (seventeen years ago) link

OTM on his Effie buffness. I guess I didn't miss anything much when I turned off at 12:05?

Very strange hearing the Buzzcocks' "Are Everything" in that dopey meatball sketch.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 16 January 2007 14:52 (seventeen years ago) link

my lady friend from work is saying "GOSTOSO"

that's yummy in portuguese.

― flavio pessoa (flavio pessoa), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 13:42 (seventeen years ago) link

this episode was great! tho i suspect zwan is right re: SNL cast needing a strong host to bring out the best in them. and god what nice arms jake has.

― joseph (joseph), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 14:06 (seventeen years ago) link

I'd have liked it more without the cutaways to Lorne, but Laser Cats was awesome.

― Zwan (miccio), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 14:23 (seventeen years ago) link

oh, so you don't require comedy to be funny? I bailed after 2 minutes of that shit.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 17 January 2007 17:09 (seventeen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9YS4tstgNw

― UART variations (ex machina), Thursday, 1 February 2007 19:04 (seventeen years ago) link

five months pass...

i love that picutre, cause its all rough tradey, and i imagine him topping me, his hard long cock thrusting into the soft folds of my ass...

but i also imagine him strong, and quiet absorbing me in his arms, as i weep about the state of the world.

he is the only man i imagine topping me...i saw him once in TO last year, and he was as handsome, old fashioned in his taciturn tendencies, i didnt know how to say TAKE ME NOW, so i didnt

-- anthony easton (anthony), Wednesday, January 4, 2006 10:58 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

― Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 9 July 2007 15:39 (sixteen years ago) link

I miss anthony.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Monday, 9 July 2007 15:41 (sixteen years ago) link

In other news: while buying sour oranges last week I read in one of the glossies that he and Witherspoon have called it quits.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Monday, 9 July 2007 15:42 (sixteen years ago) link

yer so behind! old news.

― Dr Morbius, Monday, 9 July 2007 15:48 (sixteen years ago) link

Next you'll tell me he's schlepping 'round town wiht the Biker Boys again.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Monday, 9 July 2007 15:55 (sixteen years ago) link

"soft folds of my ass"

can an ass have more than one "fold"?

discus.

― elmo argonaut, Monday, 9 July 2007 16:15 (sixteen years ago) link

origami azz!

― Dr Morbius, Monday, 9 July 2007 16:18 (sixteen years ago) link

i guess you can have folds / creases at the junction of yr buttcheeks & legs, but if you're thrusting there, you're doin' it wrong.

― elmo argonaut, Monday, 9 July 2007 16:23 (sixteen years ago) link

i dunno, i wouldnt call that wrong, it's just something else.

― jed_, Monday, 9 July 2007 16:24 (sixteen years ago) link

this thread is basically "i have, like, many gay friends on ILX who admire the soft folds of jake gyllenhaal's ass"

― impudent harlot, Monday, 9 July 2007 16:24 (sixteen years ago) link

(not that i'm complaining)

― impudent harlot, Monday, 9 July 2007 16:25 (sixteen years ago) link

I move that this discussion be added to the Gay Chi-town FAP. Powerpoint presentations accepted.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Monday, 9 July 2007 16:25 (sixteen years ago) link

something else == frottage?

― elmo argonaut, Monday, 9 July 2007 16:26 (sixteen years ago) link

I was just gonna use the frot word!

There IS no Gay Chi-town FAP, is there?

― Dr Morbius, Monday, 9 July 2007 16:29 (sixteen years ago) link

something else = intercrural sex. apparently this was oscar wilde's favourite thing.

― jed_, Monday, 9 July 2007 16:29 (sixteen years ago) link

along with being talked about.

― Dr Morbius, Monday, 9 July 2007 16:31 (sixteen years ago) link

rather than soft, i suspect the folds of jake gyllenhaal's ass are made of tungsten.

― Dr Morbius, Monday, 9 July 2007 16:33 (sixteen years ago) link

yowza

― elmo argonaut, Monday, 9 July 2007 16:37 (sixteen years ago) link

as opposed to Matthew McconauGay's, which is made of reinforced cebum.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Monday, 9 July 2007 16:55 (sixteen years ago) link

something else = intercrural sex. apparently this was oscar wilde's favourite thing.

And Abe Lincoln's, if C.A. Tripp is to be believed.

― kingkongvsgodzilla, Monday, 9 July 2007 17:36 (sixteen years ago) link

Until I read the Richard Ellmann bio on Wilde a few years ago I had no idea what "intercrucal" meant. In grad school we just called it "safe sex.'

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Monday, 9 July 2007 17:37 (sixteen years ago) link

tall 19th-century icons (and grad students) all about the intercrural.

― Dr Morbius, Monday, 9 July 2007 17:38 (sixteen years ago) link

matthew mcconaughey is gross, eugh

― elmo argonaut, Monday, 9 July 2007 18:04 (sixteen years ago) link

one month passes...

Jake to Broadway?

http://www.towleroad.com/2007/08/mike-nichols-to.html

― Dr Morbius, Thursday, 16 August 2007 16:23 (sixteen years ago) link

one month passes...

http://towleroad.typepad.com/.shared/image.html?/photos/uncategorized/2007/09/24/jg3.jpg

― Dr Morbius, Monday, 24 September 2007 16:20 (sixteen years ago) link

Can't see it!

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Monday, 24 September 2007 16:21 (sixteen years ago) link

drat

see Interview magazine pix (when did that get resurrected?)

http://www.towleroad.com/2007/09/a-little-gyllen.html

― Dr Morbius, Monday, 24 September 2007 16:22 (sixteen years ago) link

"The Hottest Sphincter in America"

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Monday, 24 September 2007 16:23 (sixteen years ago) link

apparently he had a rough time with fincher so could be an interesting read.

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Monday, 24 September 2007 16:25 (sixteen years ago) link

the "buzz" on Rendition not very good.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Monday, 24 September 2007 16:27 (sixteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

When asked if he is single on Jonathon Ross tonight, "for the band or the ladies?" "With your career does it make any difference?" "Er, for the ladies, I am. For the band, I am not." The (show's house) band are "Four Poofs and a Piano", a gay a capella singing group.

― caek, Saturday, 13 October 2007 23:34 (sixteen years ago) link

That Interview Morbs posted upthread is out. Woof.

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Saturday, 13 October 2007 23:41 (sixteen years ago) link

He an Thierry Henry are totally my gay crushes of shame.

― caek, Saturday, 13 October 2007 23:46 (sixteen years ago) link

http://dlisted.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/03/jakeg.jpg

― jed_, Saturday, 20 October 2007 12:33 (sixteen years ago) link

so cute

― jed_, Saturday, 20 October 2007 12:33 (sixteen years ago) link

now:

http://www.dlisted.com/files/images/jakeren4.preview.jpg

― jed_, Saturday, 20 October 2007 12:34 (sixteen years ago) link

He even looks good with a beard! How the hell did that happen?

― Abbott, Saturday, 20 October 2007 21:03 (sixteen years ago) link

lolz; only in Chelsea?

http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2007/10/parenticide.html

― Dr Morbius, Wednesday, 31 October 2007 14:17 (sixteen years ago) link

four weeks pass...

to play Joe Namath?

http://www.towleroad.com/2007/11/jake-gyllenhaal.html

― Dr Morbius, Wednesday, 28 November 2007 16:23 (sixteen years ago) link

Thank you, Morbs, for ruining my morning

http://dlisted.com/node/18934

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Friday, 30 November 2007 15:43 (sixteen years ago) link

I think Reese uses her chin as a vibrator.

― nathalie, Friday, 30 November 2007 16:23 (sixteen years ago) link

Gyllenspoon sounds like a verb to me.

― Dr Morbius, Friday, 30 November 2007 16:41 (sixteen years ago) link

eight months pass...

ROWF

http://www.cinematical.com/photos/prince-of-persia-1/970698/

― Dr Morbius, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 14:40 (fifteen years ago) link

Awful.

― Eric H., Tuesday, 12 August 2008 14:45 (fifteen years ago) link

Yeah, gross.

― jaymc, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 14:47 (fifteen years ago) link

poo, go back to your hairless Olympic twinks.

― Dr Morbius, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 14:49 (fifteen years ago) link

I didn't know they were making a Scott Stapp biopic.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 14:49 (fifteen years ago) link

Can't wait for them to film the scene where he and Kid Rock have their videotaped adventures.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 14:50 (fifteen years ago) link

Prince of Peoria, amirite?

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 14:50 (fifteen years ago) link

I'm all about Jake and his furry self, but that body doesn't look right on him at all.

― Eric H., Tuesday, 12 August 2008 14:55 (fifteen years ago) link

that hair. oh boy. and i'm not only talking about his chest hair.

― stevienixed, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 14:56 (fifteen years ago) link

He looks as ridiculous as:

http://blogs.chron.com/txpotomac/dukakis%20tank.jpg

― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 14:58 (fifteen years ago) link

really, the head hair was the LAST thing I was evaluating...

― Dr Morbius, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 14:58 (fifteen years ago) link

he looks stoopid and much worse than usual but i'd still hit it

― lex pretend, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 14:59 (fifteen years ago) link

xpost that dude's eyebrows is all of jake's chesthair combined

dr, i'm a woman. *shrug*

― stevienixed, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 14:59 (fifteen years ago) link

I don't know but somewhere after Brokeback Mountain I lost all my fangirl love for him. Loved him in the film but after that...he's just...square it figures he'd get with a bigger square. I miss this version of Jake; http://i193.photobucket.com/albums/z188/rich23434565/550x600_jake_gyllenhaal_5.jpg
So fresh, so clean

― VeronaInTheClub, Wednesday, 13 August 2008 15:57 (fifteen years ago) link

two months pass...

<3 Jake forever

― Tape Store, Tuesday, 21 October 2008 04:45 (fifteen years ago) link

four months pass...

not gonna win any skeptics, but...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/07/jake-gyllenhaal-shirtless_n_172788.html

― Dr Morbius, Monday, 9 March 2009 16:02 (fifteen years ago) link

GAH, cut the hairrrrrrrr

― Someone Still Loves You Evan and Jaron (Tape Store), Monday, 9 March 2009 16:04 (fifteen years ago) link

it's only fer Prince of Persia, consarn it

― Dr Morbius, Monday, 9 March 2009 16:07 (fifteen years ago) link

four months pass...

who knew he was persian?

http://screenrant.com/wp-content/uploads/prince-of-persia-jake-gyllenhaal2.jpg

― titchy (titchyschneiderMk2), Tuesday, 28 July 2009 11:49 (fourteen years ago) link

lol prince of Persia, actors still don't realize movies based on games will always suck, and will only be cult favourites because of their overwhelming wackness.

― Ludo, Tuesday, 28 July 2009 12:00 (fourteen years ago) link

three months pass...

http://cms.myspacecdn.com/cms/Splash_2.0/Full_Marquee_Image/PrinceOfPersia_Marquee_BK_110209%5B1%5D.jpg

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 5 November 2009 15:32 (fourteen years ago) link

You hafta be really quick with the freeze-frame to hold the money shots in that.

― Your Favorite Saturday Night Thing (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 5 November 2009 15:37 (fourteen years ago) link

one month passes...

Anyone seen Brothers? He's getting the best reviews.

― Hell is other people. In an ILE film forum. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 02:49 (fourteen years ago) link

Skipped it. Apparently the double shot of Tobey/Jakey wasn't enough for me.

― really senile old crap shit (Eric H.), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 02:54 (fourteen years ago) link

Hate hate hate Tobey but am sooooooooooooooooo excited to see this Friday!

― precious presented by oprah and tyler perry based on a novel push b (Tape Store), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 06:31 (fourteen years ago) link

I kind of blinked hard at Ed31stein when he raved about it to me.

― Feingold/Kaptur 2012 (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 12:12 (fourteen years ago) link

Blink Hard with a Vengeance

― really senile old crap shit (Eric H.), Wednesday, 9 December 2009 12:28 (fourteen years ago) link

four months pass...

Caption this photo:

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/.a/6a00d8341c630a53ef0133ed153e34970b-600wi

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 30 April 2010 18:17 (fourteen years ago) link

"You were right; this proposal is pretty indecent."

― DUM DUM DUM DUMMMMM! (HI DERE), Friday, 30 April 2010 18:19 (fourteen years ago) link

I now pronounce you Anton LaVey and Dogboy.

― huh! tikuuta. (kingkongvsgodzilla), Friday, 30 April 2010 18:21 (fourteen years ago) link

"this ben kingley wax figurine looks pretty good"

― peter in montreal, Friday, 30 April 2010 18:21 (fourteen years ago) link

"So it IS true that Lord Sotosyn has put in a higher bid for the Prince of Persia."

― cool and remote like dancing girls (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 30 April 2010 18:29 (fourteen years ago) link

"whoa, I'm tripping my nutsack in a frenzy of dikplay"

― DUM DUM DUM DUMMMMM! (HI DERE), Friday, 30 April 2010 18:30 (fourteen years ago) link

"girl, i can't even HEAR you over this bass! *thumpa thumpa thumpa*"

― da croupier, Friday, 30 April 2010 19:09 (fourteen years ago) link

30 Seconds To Mars' New Video Their "Wildest" Yet, Says Leto

― da croupier, Friday, 30 April 2010 19:13 (fourteen years ago) link

If Jake wants to get some awards cred, I think he should shed some pounds and do a Soupy Sales biopic:

http://images.teamsugar.com/files/users/1/15259/13_2007/jakeg.jpg

http://punchlinemagazine.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/soupy-sales.jpg

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Friday, 7 May 2010 02:45 (fourteen years ago) link

He looks haggard!

― cool and remote like dancing girls (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 7 May 2010 02:48 (fourteen years ago) link

seeing prince of persia today... kinda siiiked

― Greatest contributor: (history mayne), Friday, 7 May 2010 02:49 (fourteen years ago) link

Saw the Prince of Persia trailer for the first time over the weekend. Jake's Persian accent comes the closest I've ever heard to how I hear LJ posts in my mind.

― kkvgz, Monday, 10 May 2010 16:48 (fourteen years ago) link

haaaa

i saw the actual film

it's not very good!

the two leads are darned pretty though

― Greatest contributor: (history mayne), Monday, 10 May 2010 16:50 (fourteen years ago) link

how exactly did they come up w/ Mike Newell for that? did he do a Harry Potter or sumthin?

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Monday, 10 May 2010 19:45 (fourteen years ago) link

From a generally positive take on the film:

Still, the film was suprisingly enjoyable. The actors all put in spirited performances, Kingsley commendably managing to avoid making an ass out of himself as he did in Bloodrayne and Gyllenhaal making for a rather endearing Prince (I actually found his goofy "London Cabbie" accent quite charming). Alfred Molina was easily the best thing about the film as the Sheik who runs an illegal Ostrich racing ring, his scenes being the only ones that were genuinely amusing. He also deserves some sort of prize for delivering one of the most bizarre lines of dialogue in cinematic history: 'Did you know Ostriches have suicidal tendancies?'

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 24 May 2010 19:12 (fourteen years ago) link

Alfred Molina was easily the best thing about the film as the Sheik who runs an illegal Ostrich racing ring,

― Filmmaker, Author, Radio Host Stephen Baldwin (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 24 May 2010 19:13 (fourteen years ago) link

What more do you need to know, really.

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 24 May 2010 19:13 (fourteen years ago) link

I don't think ostriches actually have suicidal tendencies.

― frozen cookie (Abbott), Monday, 24 May 2010 19:15 (fourteen years ago) link

They are pretty dumb-ass birds.

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 24 May 2010 19:15 (fourteen years ago) link

Dude, I totally know – my parents made the dumb-ass move of buying some when they were a weird commodity in the v early '90s. So I grew up around them. They did a lot of weird stuff, like performing a mating dance for anything that moved, but never anything especially suicidal. Though I know "data" is not the plural of "anecdote."

― frozen cookie (Abbott), Monday, 24 May 2010 19:41 (fourteen years ago) link

actually, molina is TERRIBLE in this

― long time listener, first time balla (history mayne), Monday, 24 May 2010 19:53 (fourteen years ago) link

He didn't convey the necessary passion about suicidal ostriches as he ought?

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 24 May 2010 19:54 (fourteen years ago) link

people talk about 'robin hood' as a teabagger movie, but this one is even more so!

molina's main deal in it is complaining about paying taxes

― long time listener, first time balla (history mayne), Monday, 24 May 2010 19:55 (fourteen years ago) link

"Kingsley avoids making an ass out of himself as he did in Bloodrayne!"

The critics agree...Prince Of Persia is not as bad as an Uwe Boll movie!

― da croupier, Monday, 24 May 2010 21:00 (fourteen years ago) link

Come see your favorite stars escape with their dignities intact!

― da croupier, Monday, 24 May 2010 21:00 (fourteen years ago) link

go see this! i have it in my summer movie fantasy league!

― m@tt (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 24 May 2010 21:24 (fourteen years ago) link

why??

― frozen cookie (Abbott), Monday, 24 May 2010 23:42 (fourteen years ago) link

In case you thought such things were past, both Gemma Arterton and Alfred Molina appear to have "browned up" for their roles, unless they can do that digitally.

You nitwits who thought Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was "awful" should see how bad things can get with dross like this. But don't, I want this series aborted.

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 27 May 2010 02:48 (fourteen years ago) link

For some reason, I remembered you being one of the brave Spielberg worshipers who didn't actually much care for Crystal Skull, Morbs.

Jake was sleepwalking through an interview on the Early Show this morning.

― rim this, fuck that (Eric H.), Thursday, 27 May 2010 13:24 (fourteen years ago) link

Well, imagine. Feeding those abs kept him up all night.

― Filmmaker, Author, Radio Host Stephen Baldwin (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 27 May 2010 13:26 (fourteen years ago) link

"Crystal Skull" wasn't as good as the other three movies but, aside from the monkey scene, it was still entertaining. Based on the promos, "Prince of Persia" seems kind of misconceived from the ground up.

― Image: electrostimulation applied on a penis (HI DERE), Thursday, 27 May 2010 13:41 (fourteen years ago) link

well, exactly, except PofP is exactly what it wants to be -- ie, grist for the masses and not a pimple on the ass of a professionally-executed rehash like Crystal Skull.

AND I AM NO SPIELBERG WORSHIPPER

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 27 May 2010 13:56 (fourteen years ago) link

both films gargle balls tbh, but prince of persia is worse

― English: The Money Woman (history mayne), Thursday, 27 May 2010 13:59 (fourteen years ago) link

sorry, i meant Spielberg apologist

― rim this, fuck that (Eric H.), Thursday, 27 May 2010 14:17 (fourteen years ago) link

My complaints:

http://www.slantmagazine.com/film/review/prince-of-persia/4838

There were definitely pec shots in the trailer that didn't make it into the film. Tim Robey in Telegraph UK has a theory:

He’s eager and well-trained, adopts a highly unnecessary British accent, and is strangely coy about taking his shirt off, unless Bruckheimer decided in the editing room that homoerotic camp risked being a too-gay turn-off for the geek demographic.

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Friday, 28 May 2010 12:55 (fourteen years ago) link

I will kill the geek demographic.

― rim this, fuck that (Eric H.), Friday, 28 May 2010 13:27 (fourteen years ago) link

three months pass...

Adam Levine: Jake is not gay

― raging hetero lifechill (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 27 September 2010 18:19 (thirteen years ago) link

The trailer for this looked awful. Awful.

http://amygrindhouse.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/Love-and-Other-Drugs-Pillows-Are-in-the-Way.jpg

― raging hetero lifechill (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 27 September 2010 18:20 (thirteen years ago) link

YOU'RE CRAZY, this is chick flick of the year, so stoked!!!

― salem witch bile (Tape Store), Monday, 27 September 2010 18:52 (thirteen years ago) link

No matter how many people I hear tell me they have it on good authority Jake is ghey, I remain skeptical. The other gheys want it too much.

― Eric H., Monday, 27 September 2010 19:39 (thirteen years ago) link

I am, however, attracted to Adam Levine of late.

― raging hetero lifechill (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 27 September 2010 19:41 (thirteen years ago) link

one month passes...

so he's still got the Dunce of Persia body in L&OD and is naked a LOT, as is A.H. The movie is an unbelievable mashup of sex, melodrama, satire.

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 23 November 2010 19:35 (thirteen years ago) link

Your review was surprisingly generous to the stars.

― look at it, pwn3d, made u look at my peen/vadge (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 23 November 2010 19:41 (thirteen years ago) link

they is da best thing in it

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 23 November 2010 19:50 (thirteen years ago) link

is it really 'this year's up in the air'?

― balls, Wednesday, 24 November 2010 02:23 (thirteen years ago) link

but is Jake using a body doubleE?

― look at it, pwn3d, made u look at my peen/vadge (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 24 November 2010 02:27 (thirteen years ago) link

not possible

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 24 November 2010 03:04 (thirteen years ago) link

An enterprising friend created this:

http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f308/sotoalf/alfrednjake.jpg

― look at it, pwn3d, made u look at my peen/vadge (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 24 November 2010 03:21 (thirteen years ago) link

i love that picutre, cause its all rough tradey, and i imagine him topping me, his hard long cock thrusting into the soft folds of my ass...

but i also imagine him strong, and quiet absorbing me in his arms, as i weep about the state of the world.

he is the only man i imagine topping me...i saw him once in TO last year, and he was as handsome, old fashioned in his taciturn tendencies, i didnt know how to say TAKE ME NOW, so i didnt

― anthony easton (anthony), Wednesday, January 4, 2006 10:58 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark

― Megatherium americanum (Princess TamTam), Wednesday, 24 November 2010 03:35 (thirteen years ago) link

I thought this was going to be fluffy PG-13 romcom nonsense. I figured it would be something of a debacle with Zwick at the helm, but with the 'edgy' elements was he trying for an honest-to-god 'good' movie?

― Gukbe, Wednesday, 24 November 2010 06:51 (thirteen years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WatVodRARsU

― Here we are in a sticky situation/ (Tape Store), Wednesday, 24 November 2010 07:02 (thirteen years ago) link

I loved Moon + this has a great cast, but man it looks pretty fucking dumb.

― Simon H., Wednesday, 24 November 2010 08:39 (thirteen years ago) link

Zwick says he sold the movie to the studio w/ sex prominently upfront.

However, he doesn't do edgy.

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 24 November 2010 14:20 (thirteen years ago) link

also why would you love something as derivative as Moon?

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 24 November 2010 14:27 (thirteen years ago) link

My wife has been excited about this since she saw the first preview, because she adores Jake. I was not looking forward to being dragged along until I saw Ms. Hathaway talking about her nude scenes on SNL. That would pretty much sell me on seeing any movie.

― "I am a fairly respected poster." (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, 24 November 2010 14:31 (thirteen years ago) link

However, he doesn't do edgy.

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, November 24, 2010 2:20 PM (22 minutes ago) Bookmark

I imagine in his brain that nudity adds credibility and artistic heft to a project. Unless this is a throwback to a time when nudity was seen as a box-office draw, which is kind of endearing.

― Gukbe, Wednesday, 24 November 2010 14:44 (thirteen years ago) link

A lot of commenters on reviews have (rightly) disliked how Hathaway's nudity gets all the attention at the expense of Jake's.

― look at it, pwn3d, made u look at my peen/vadge (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 26 November 2010 20:10 (thirteen years ago) link

I live in a tiny town in the south and this was the only thing to see so I went and it was DIRE.

And re: the nudity, I heard Zwick in an interview talking about how he thought any attempt to temper/hide nudity in this film would have been "risible," and yet there are several scenes in which JG is prone, naked, on the bed, with his leg awkwardly propped up to hide his schlong. Meanwhile, we're getting every inch of Anne all the time.

And yeah, Anne H best breasts ever

― vandergaarfield generator (rip van wanko), Friday, 26 November 2010 22:43 (thirteen years ago) link

Anne H. had the only even semi realized/fleshed out character but God did I hate this character. The others were too slight/1D to hate but nothing sympathetic about ANY of them either. Lifeless, cliche (the younger bro r u kidding me), formulaic dreck.

― vandergaarfield generator (rip van wanko), Friday, 26 November 2010 22:47 (thirteen years ago) link

Meanwhile, we're getting every inch of Anne all the time.

SOLD

― BIG MUFFIN (gbx), Friday, 26 November 2010 22:48 (thirteen years ago) link

with his leg awkwardly propped up to hide his schlong.

ok, i'm out.

― jed_, Friday, 26 November 2010 23:01 (thirteen years ago) link

well actually i was out when i watched the first scene of the trailer

hey lisa
her name's not lisa"
i know but if everytime i see her i call her lisa she'll develop this unconscious desire to win my approval and from then on it's SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP THAT'S IDIOTIC IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE.

― jed_, Friday, 26 November 2010 23:05 (thirteen years ago) link

lol I am reading buzzfeed and apparently the schlong does make an appearance ==> http://s-ak.buzzfed.com/static/imagebuzz/terminal01/2010/11/26/13/jake-gyllenhaals-penis-nsfw-743-1290795078-9.jpg
but I think it's a shop cuz I didn't see it in the film. Someone check pixels.

― vandergaarfield generator (rip van wanko), Friday, 26 November 2010 23:08 (thirteen years ago) link

Does this guy just come off as stupid to anyone else? I'm sure he's actually very smart and nice and he's a solid actor and all, but every role he plays just seems like a variation on 'affable doe-eyed retard'.

― his hard long cock thrusting into the soft folds of my ass... (Princess TamTam), Friday, 26 November 2010 23:22 (thirteen years ago) link

Not even stupid it's just... like he's permanently 17, no matter how big his muscles get or how much scruff he grows.

― his hard long cock thrusting into the soft folds of my ass... (Princess TamTam), Friday, 26 November 2010 23:24 (thirteen years ago) link

At least this sounds like the first assertive role he's taken since BBM (depends what you mean assertive *yuk yuk*).

Anyway -- most of the reviews I've read assert that he finally gets to show the comedic chops he's always hinted at.

― look at it, pwn3d, made u look at my peen/vadge (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 26 November 2010 23:26 (thirteen years ago) link

except the funny material isn't staged well. he takes a nice door in the face etc.

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 27 November 2010 00:41 (thirteen years ago) link

Denby:

Through sheer conviction, she makes the defiant-dying-girl tearjerking clichés work. And her sex scenes with Gyllenhaal are the most intimate and erotic glimpses of romantic love that we’ve seen in American movies in years. The two of them lounge naked in bed, talking, making love, finessing a scene of Jamie’s impotence that could have been embarrassing but becomes genuinely funny. “Love and Other Drugs” has many weak spots, but what it delivers at its core is as indelible as (and a lot more explicit than) the work of such legendary teams as Clark Gable and Joan Crawford, Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn.

― look at it, pwn3d, made u look at my peen/vadge (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 29 November 2010 18:03 (thirteen years ago) link

^needs pharmaceuticals

btw Jake has been seen w/ Taylor Swift from Park Slope to Nashville

(no, I don't really know who she is)

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Monday, 29 November 2010 18:12 (thirteen years ago) link

his beard

― look at it, pwn3d, made u look at my peen/vadge (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 29 November 2010 18:13 (thirteen years ago) link

but she's 20. Beards shd be worldly and wise.

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Monday, 29 November 2010 18:14 (thirteen years ago) link

she's also rich

― look at it, pwn3d, made u look at my peen/vadge (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 29 November 2010 18:17 (thirteen years ago) link

need to find someone I want to ask on a date so I can go see this

― boots get knocked from here to czechoslovakier (milo z), Monday, 29 November 2010 19:47 (thirteen years ago) link

Or at least a woman to be my rom-com beard for the evening.

― boots get knocked from here to czechoslovakier (milo z), Monday, 29 November 2010 19:48 (thirteen years ago) link

one month passes...

what a lame film

― lex diamonds (lex pretend), Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:23 (thirteen years ago) link

i love that picutre, cause its all rough tradey, and i imagine him topping me, his hard long cock thrusting into the soft folds of my ass...

but i also imagine him strong, and quiet absorbing me in his arms, as i weep about the state of the world.

― Princess TamTam, Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:24 (thirteen years ago) link

like obv i totally fancy jake, and his look in this film is totally on point to appeal to me, and yet his character managed to be both a bore and a turn-off

comedy was middling at best, maggie had to act completely out of character for the film to progress and the ending was a huge massive pukey gross cliché. it could've - being generous - been a nice portrayal of a fling without the stupid ending, i guess. treatment of pharma industry odd, not shying away from portraying it as completely amoral but in an attempted affectionate way? that didn't come off because it still seemed more immoral (repellent) rather than amoral (glamorous)

― lex diamonds (lex pretend), Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:27 (thirteen years ago) link

whoa, hathaway's char is named maggie? i wonder what its like to pretend to pork a character with your sisters name... bet thats weird...

― Princess TamTam, Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:28 (thirteen years ago) link

ahahahaha i knew there was something that seemed a bit odd there

― lex diamonds (lex pretend), Sunday, 9 January 2011 22:33 (thirteen years ago) link

two months pass...

I don't know if I can finish this. The script is awful -- it's like the repartee itself was written in 1996.

When does Jake's schlong appear?

― Rich Lolwry (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 14 March 2011 17:39 (thirteen years ago) link

Saw it with the wife a couple months back and generally enjoyed it, but it does have the feeling of being really disjointed. Like, part of it is Thank You For Smoking-type satire (which I liked), part of it is your typical rom-com (which I didn't like, especially the awful ending), part of it is Lifetime Movie-of-the-Week stuff (which was alright), and then you have your random Jonah Hill stand-in who literally could not be any less convincing as Jake Gyllenhaal's brother. But overall, it was pretty decent. Probably the only rom-com I've seen where the male lead has sex with every female with a speaking part (besides his mother and his brother's wife, I guess)

― frogbs, Monday, 14 March 2011 18:39 (thirteen years ago) link

When does Jake's schlong appear?

it doesn't

― lex pretend, Monday, 14 March 2011 18:50 (thirteen years ago) link

for all the fuss there's really not that much nudity

― lex pretend, Monday, 14 March 2011 18:50 (thirteen years ago) link

I know. Luckily Ann Hathaway's condition is starting to deteriorate, so hopefully she'll die soon and I can stop watching.

― Rich Lolwry (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 14 March 2011 18:51 (thirteen years ago) link

ha ha i thought you were commenting on the actress herself, not the character, and i was like me-ow

― congratulations (n/a), Monday, 14 March 2011 18:52 (thirteen years ago) link

lol me too

― ENBB, Monday, 14 March 2011 18:54 (thirteen years ago) link

shakey mo sotosyn

― congratulations (n/a), Monday, 14 March 2011 18:54 (thirteen years ago) link

they shoulda stuck to the Viagra salesman's book.

meanwhile, this Source Code thing -- my quota of convoluted scifi is filled.

― Fuck bein' hard, Dr Morbz is complicated (Dr Morbius), Monday, 14 March 2011 18:56 (thirteen years ago) link

OKAY HE ASKED THE BUS DRIVER TO STOP THE BUS AND IT DID. And he didn't even offer to fuck him.

― Rich Lolwry (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 14 March 2011 19:01 (thirteen years ago) link

oh god that is like the worst fucking moment in the film, genuinely nearly walked out

also she actually gets out to talk to him! instead of telling him to fuck off!

― lex pretend, Monday, 14 March 2011 19:06 (thirteen years ago) link

if the movie had ended with a shot of Jake in his Jack Twist mid-forties mustache sitting next Katherine Hepburn in her late eighties it would've been the best thing ever filmed.

― Rich Lolwry (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 14 March 2011 19:08 (thirteen years ago) link

oh god that is like the worst fucking moment in the film, genuinely nearly walked out

yeah I thought the same thing, this movie was not exactly very clever but what a dumb, cop out ending; it would be way more interesting if he had just heeded that guy's advice and NOT persued a relationship he'll wind up regretting

― frogbs, Monday, 14 March 2011 21:17 (thirteen years ago) link

Twitter exploded with accounts of a scuffle between Gyllenhaal, who plays a soldier in Jones’ sci-fi thriller, and a guy who tried to take his photograph … er, mid-stream.

“Gyllenhaal apparently grabbed the dude mid-photo, threw him against the wall and was like, ‘are we really gonna do this right now?’” Tweeted Cinematical’s Erik Davis.

http://www.towleroad.com/2011/03/jake-gyllenhaal-fends-off-restroom-photographer.html

― brigitte beardo (donna rouge), Monday, 14 March 2011 21:43 (thirteen years ago) link

wtf who does that? (the photographer, not Gyllenhaal)

― frogbs, Monday, 14 March 2011 21:50 (thirteen years ago) link

Saw it with the wife a couple months back and generally enjoyed it, but it does have the feeling of being really disjointed

Definitely--like you can actually tell really easily which bits were by which rewriter-for-hire

― the most cuddlesome bug that ever was borned (James Morrison), Monday, 14 March 2011 22:13 (thirteen years ago) link

http://hollywood-elsewhere.com/2011/03/pee-wee_code.php

― Fuck bein' hard, Dr Morbz is complicated (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 15 March 2011 04:14 (thirteen years ago) link

i think his new one - jake's on a train, or something, maybe it's source code - has jeffrey wright, which kinda collaterally makes me want to see a jake gyllenhaal movie

― your LiveJournal experience (schlump), Tuesday, 15 March 2011 14:25 (thirteen years ago) link

two months pass...

Hm.

http://s-ak.buzzfed.com/static/imagebuzz/terminal01/2011/5/15/13/jake-gylenhaal-channeling-his-inner-grace-jones-i-31116-1305480275-3.jpg

― Roz, Monday, 16 May 2011 18:15 (thirteen years ago) link

Christmas card, I assume

― da croupier, Monday, 16 May 2011 18:17 (thirteen years ago) link

one month passes...

http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lo5dqeCzIh1qcfoo3o1_500.jpg

― The Edge of Gloryhole (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 11 July 2011 18:54 (twelve years ago) link

God, that movie with Anne Hathaway was terrible. I admit that I wanted to watch it for less than honorable reasons, so maybe I got what I deserved.

― o. nate, Monday, 11 July 2011 19:05 (twelve years ago) link

Gyllenhaal apparently grabbed the dude mid-photo, threw him against the wall and was like, ‘are we really gonna do this right now?’”

yes please Jake oh god yes

― The Edge of Gloryhole (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 11 July 2011 19:09 (twelve years ago) link

one year passes...

Jake coming to Broadway. I am so not going for $100.

http://www.roundabouttheatre.org/Shows-Events/If-There-Is.aspx

― Pangborn to be Wilde (Dr Morbius), Friday, 3 August 2012 14:03 (eleven years ago) link

poo, go back to your hairless Olympic twinks.
― Dr Morbius, Tuesday, August 12, 2008 9:49 AM (3 years ago)

― Eric H., Friday, 3 August 2012 14:33 (eleven years ago) link

This thread is really the history of homosexuality on ILX.

― a regina spektor is haunting europe (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 3 August 2012 14:35 (eleven years ago) link

http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/s480x480/542304_338125212942759_456945342_n.jpg

― Eric H., Thursday, 16 August 2012 15:43 (eleven years ago) link

hair yummo!

― a regina spektor is haunting europe (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 16 August 2012 15:46 (eleven years ago) link

is he making a film about fishermen

― very sexual album (schlump), Thursday, 16 August 2012 15:49 (eleven years ago) link

About fishers of men.

― Eric H., Thursday, 16 August 2012 15:51 (eleven years ago) link

Richard Masur is back!

― da croupier, Thursday, 16 August 2012 16:00 (eleven years ago) link

one month passes...

stage debut reviewed in today's NYT

― taking tiger mountain (up the butt) (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 21 September 2012 16:13 (eleven years ago) link

two months pass...

so is End of Watch any good

― the little prince of inane false binary hype (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 6 December 2012 14:44 (eleven years ago) link

Ever-so-slightly above average buddy cop film only because Jake and Pena are really good together. Filming style baffles me. No real plot. Family stuff is meh. Back in the local multiplex this weekend for reasons I don't understand.

― Gukbe, Thursday, 6 December 2012 16:49 (eleven years ago) link

it's one of the best movies of the year

― turds (Hungry4Ass), Thursday, 6 December 2012 17:54 (eleven years ago) link

do he and Peña kiss?

― the little prince of inane false binary hype (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 6 December 2012 17:56 (eleven years ago) link

no but they call each other bro a lot, tenderly

― turds (Hungry4Ass), Thursday, 6 December 2012 17:56 (eleven years ago) link

END OF WATCH: good cop movie

― turds (Hungry4Ass), Thursday, 6 December 2012 17:59 (eleven years ago) link

five months pass...

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RU-pEeMf4Qc/USc9rUdhy5I/AAAAAAABVbU/dUrOC7Zyhww/s1600/144+%281%29.jpg

HAI DERE

― A deeper shade of lol (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, 19 May 2013 23:16 (eleven years ago) link

i love that picutre, cause its all rough tradey, and i imagine him topping me, his hard long cock thrusting into the soft folds of my ass...

but i also imagine him strong, and quiet absorbing me in his arms, as i weep about the state of the world.

he is the only man i imagine topping me...i saw him once in TO last year, and he was as handsome, old fashioned in his taciturn tendencies, i didnt know how to say TAKE ME NOW, so i didnt

― anthony easton (anthony), Wednesday, January 4, 2006 10:58 AM (7 years ago) Bookmark

― turds (Hungry4Ass), Sunday, 19 May 2013 23:23 (eleven years ago) link

c;lassic post

― turds (Hungry4Ass), Sunday, 19 May 2013 23:23 (eleven years ago) link

is there really a 725 reply thread about jake gyllenhaal

― turds (Hungry4Ass), Sunday, 19 May 2013 23:24 (eleven years ago) link

open your ass cheeks, Hungry

― A deeper shade of lol (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, 19 May 2013 23:24 (eleven years ago) link

i wouldnt have guessed that JG was like, a smokin hot dude back when i watched donnie darko. he just seemed like any guy to me. he's gotten p. buff since then though

― turds (Hungry4Ass), Sunday, 19 May 2013 23:29 (eleven years ago) link

he wasn't

― A deeper shade of lol (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, 19 May 2013 23:31 (eleven years ago) link

i love that picutre, cause its all rough tradey, and i imagine him topping me, his hard long cock thrusting into the soft folds of my ass...

but i also imagine him strong, and quiet absorbing me in his arms, as i weep about the state of the world.

he is the only man i imagine topping me...i saw him once in TO last year, and he was as handsome, old fashioned in his taciturn tendencies, i didnt know how to say TAKE ME NOW, so i didnt

― anthony easton (anthony), Wednesday, January 4, 2006 10:58 AM (7 years ago) Bookmark

This is my favourite ILX post ever.

― Public Brooding Closet (cryptosicko), Monday, 20 May 2013 05:41 (eleven years ago) link

I recently discovered that a long-time crush of mine considers JG her "dream guy". This information, combined with that Easton post, is now making me grin like an idiot for some reason.

― Sheela-Tubb-Mann, You Real Know-It-All (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 20 May 2013 07:42 (eleven years ago) link

four months pass...

I am not at all gonna pay to see Prisoners -- Paul Dano, ugh --- but JG has another Denis Villeneuve film done where he Patty Dukes it!

http://www.fandor.com/blog/daily-denis-villeneuves-enemy

― Miss Arlington twirls for the Coal Heavers (Dr Morbius), Monday, 23 September 2013 17:42 (ten years ago) link

What's better than one Jake Gyllenhaal?...

― midnight outdoor nude frolic up north goes south (Eric H.), Monday, 23 September 2013 18:11 (ten years ago) link

“Rather than play the scenario for black humor or Hitchcockian intrigue, Villeneuve mines it for tedious pathological navel-gazing and banal sexual fantasy”

― Miss Arlington twirls for the Coal Heavers (Dr Morbius), Monday, 23 September 2013 18:25 (ten years ago) link

Yep, Hitchcock never engaged in banal sexual fantasy.

― midnight outdoor nude frolic up north goes south (Eric H.), Monday, 23 September 2013 18:25 (ten years ago) link

Rope not banal enough, eh

― Miss Arlington twirls for the Coal Heavers (Dr Morbius), Monday, 23 September 2013 18:28 (ten years ago) link

prisoners is p good if you're into that kind of thing

― i wanna be a gabbneb baby (Hungry4Ass), Monday, 23 September 2013 19:56 (ten years ago) link

wouldn't mind having JG under house arrest

― first I think it's time I kick a little verse! (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 23 September 2013 19:57 (ten years ago) link

gyllenhaal's character is named Detective Loki, which is incredibly distracting whenever the movie reminds you of it

― i wanna be a gabbneb baby (Hungry4Ass), Monday, 23 September 2013 20:18 (ten years ago) link

does he carry a spear

― first I think it's time I kick a little verse! (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 23 September 2013 20:19 (ten years ago) link

Movie featured a Hulk cameo that took me right out of it.

― midnight outdoor nude frolic up north goes south (Eric H.), Monday, 23 September 2013 20:20 (ten years ago) link

one month passes...

http://i.imgur.com/fe2tfK4.png

― i wanna be a gabbneb baby (Hungry4Ass), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 04:33 (ten years ago) link

looks like longer than 4 weeks

― ornamental cabbage (James Morrison), Wednesday, 23 October 2013 05:25 (ten years ago) link

two months pass...

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-aHXrU_3mGTE/Uk53cjIdcBI/AAAAAAABX_U/hAG_vPyWmDs/s600/008.jpg

― the objections to Drake from non-REAL HIPHOP people (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, 5 January 2014 15:52 (ten years ago) link

so it's offensive how Prisoners has at least six moments of creepy music + character sneaking up a hallway awaiting the next horror. Jackman is ridiculous.

― Bryan Fairy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 17 January 2014 01:44 (ten years ago) link

whats wrong w/suspense

― Hungry4Ass, Friday, 17 January 2014 02:23 (ten years ago) link

suspense involving whether a kid is dead, tortured, or mutilated isn't fun for me these days; moreover, this fucking thing is almost three hours long w/out a single shot of Jake nude.

― Bryan Fairy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 17 January 2014 02:33 (ten years ago) link

what happened to this guy?

― i lost my shoes on acid (jed_), Friday, 17 January 2014 02:35 (ten years ago) link

He's been giving good perfs for a couple years now.

― Bryan Fairy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 17 January 2014 02:35 (ten years ago) link

oh sure, i meant he hasn't called me for weeks.

― i lost my shoes on acid (jed_), Friday, 17 January 2014 02:40 (ten years ago) link

I'll remind him to return your texts

― Bryan Fairy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 17 January 2014 02:43 (ten years ago) link

next time you see him?

i take it prisoners was made explicitly to win best acting noms but it never happened?

― i lost my shoes on acid (jed_), Friday, 17 January 2014 02:46 (ten years ago) link

yes, bcz it was no fun even for ppl who like bad movies

― eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Friday, 17 January 2014 02:59 (ten years ago) link

my friend called it a u.s. version of one of them korean serial killer movies, which i think is really apt. I dunno I liked it

edelstein was otm about jackman - "Jackman’s performance isn’t especially imaginative, but it’s hard not to be moved by his grief." otoh i couldnt tell what was meant to be going on inside Detective Loki's (lol) head for most of the movie

― Hungry4Ass, Friday, 17 January 2014 03:21 (ten years ago) link

Detective Loki wasn't much of a trickster.

― Bryan Fairy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 17 January 2014 03:25 (ten years ago) link

...or a nudester apparently.

― ...out of that weakness, out of that envy, out of that fear.. (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 17 January 2014 04:25 (ten years ago) link

Don 'n' Glenn would've known the Gyllenhaal family, you know. We need their input.

― Bryan Fairy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 17 January 2014 11:54 (ten years ago) link

two months pass...

I liked Enemy, neo-Cronenbergian identity horror that shoots Toronto thru a piss filter (revenge of Quebecois Villenueve). People v divided by penultimate shot, I thought it was provocative punctuation. Both Jakes have awesome back muscles and chest hair.

― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 25 March 2014 14:38 (ten years ago) link

Missed Alf's prompt.

DON: I love that picture, cause it's all rough tradey, and I imagine him topping me, his hard long cock thrusting into the soft folds of my ass...but I also imagine him strong, and quiet absorbing me in his arms, as I weep about the state of the world, and how there is not enough love in it. He is the only man I imagine topping me...I saw him once in TO last year, and he was as handsome, old fashioned in his taciturn tendencies, I didn't know how to say TAKE ME NOW, so I didn't.

GLENN: Damn, I knew we stayed over too long at Elton's for those overdubs.

DON: Well, yeah.

― Interior. Ibiza Bar (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 25 March 2014 15:37 (ten years ago) link

The Two Jakes!

― Bryan Fairy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 25 March 2014 15:41 (ten years ago) link

fed you another one on the Nixon-Kiss thread

― Bryan Fairy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 25 March 2014 15:42 (ten years ago) link

http://www.slate.com/content/dam/slate/blogs/browbeat/2011/09/29/hugo_chavez_caption_contest/Enemy_Jake_Gyllenhaal_chalkboard.jpg.CROP.promovar-mediumlarge.jpg

― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 25 March 2014 15:47 (ten years ago) link

is he as good as Irons?

― Bryan Fairy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 25 March 2014 15:50 (ten years ago) link

Well, this isn't as ambitious or well-made as that film, so no, but I liked the performance(s) esp as the schlubby (lol) history teacher.

― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 25 March 2014 15:53 (ten years ago) link

one month passes...

http://media.melty.fr/article-2211367-ratio_274-f3676382893/jay-z-beyonce-jake-gyllenhaal-tournee-on.jpg

― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Monday, 12 May 2014 15:30 (ten years ago) link

four months pass...

space and architecture in Enemy (spoilers)

http://issuu.com/interiorsjournal/docs/interiors0914

― son of a lewd monk (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 17 September 2014 22:11 (nine years ago) link

I watch this tonight.

― guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 23 September 2014 14:07 (nine years ago) link

we quiver

― son of a lewd monk (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 23 September 2014 14:14 (nine years ago) link

is he nude in it

― guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 23 September 2014 14:15 (nine years ago) link

no spoilers

― son of a lewd monk (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 23 September 2014 14:16 (nine years ago) link

two months pass...

on the physique yo-yo game

http://deadline.com/2014/11/jake-gyllenhaal-southpaw-photo-nightcrawler-1201300519/

― things lose meaning over time (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 2 December 2014 13:38 (nine years ago) link

When will he realize we like him right in the middle?

― Eric H., Tuesday, 2 December 2014 13:44 (nine years ago) link

really enjoyed the Enemy

― Οὖτις, Friday, 5 December 2014 16:45 (nine years ago) link

agree w Morbz upthread about the piss-filter look of it though - easily my least favorite thing about it, just a gross color palette all the way through

― Οὖτις, Friday, 5 December 2014 16:48 (nine years ago) link

one month passes...

he got a rave from Ben Brantley in the NYT for the British play that opened on Broadway last night, Constellations. I had no idea it was alleged to be that good; anyway, it's only got a month to run and way too pricey for me.

― touch of a love-starved cobra (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 14 January 2015 21:41 (nine years ago) link

yeah i was hoping to catch it (physics) but it's serious $$ :-(

― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Wednesday, 14 January 2015 21:52 (nine years ago) link

If we get a blizzard in the next 4 weeks there might be empty-seat discounts!

― touch of a love-starved cobra (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 14 January 2015 21:53 (nine years ago) link

If you get a blizzard maybe he'll sit on your empty seat.

― guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 14 January 2015 21:55 (nine years ago) link

i know an economist who looks a lot like JG (though without the impeccable physique), i wonder if y'all would go for him.

― I dunno. (amateurist), Wednesday, 14 January 2015 22:22 (nine years ago) link

six months pass...

Mark Harris appraises his career:

Gyllenhaal turned 34 in December, and it’s only in the last couple of years that I think he’s come into his own. This is, in part, a gender issue; we allow actors to grow differently from actresses. We want women to hit hard, and early. Julia Roberts was 22 when Pretty Woman opened; Emma Stone broke through in Easy A at 21; Jennifer Lawrence was romantically paired with Bradley Cooper and Christian Bale onscreen before she was 25. Women don’t get a decade to form themselves onscreen; they need to come ready, and a couple of missteps is all it takes to knock them back to Triple-A. We don’t demand that of our male movie stars; we set the bar lower — sometimes so low that all they have to do is not suck. When Jon Hamm and George Clooney were 25, they were not, in any meaningful sense, Jon Hamm and George Clooney. When Bradley Cooper was 25, he was going on auditions, hoping to get cast in Alias, and when Channing Tatum was 25, he … well, let’s check his résumé; he certainly stood out as “Boy In Church Scene (Uncredited)” in War of the Worlds.

So Gyllenhaal, who starred in his first movie (October Sky) at 18 and had secured cult-fame status by 21 (Donnie Darko) and an Oscar nomination by 25 (Brokeback), is, in some ways, an anomaly — he’s had a woman’s career, except that he’s in his mid-thirties and as far as I can tell, nobody is yet talking about his impending last fuckable day. And there’s no denying that he was given latitude to screw up in his twenties without significant penalty. I’m thinking in particular of two movies, Roland Emmerich’s mercifully all-but-forgotten enviro-disaster pic The Day After Tomorrow (2004) and Mike Newell’s absolutely-flat-out-forgotten Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010). Out of two dozen films, these two stand out as attempts to force Gyllenhaal into a wearily familiar studio movie-star template, almost as if someone said to him (or perhaps as if he said to himself) You’re young, you’re handsome, you look good with your shirt off — this is what you’re supposed to do now.

http://grantland.com/hollywood-prospectus/jake-gyllenhaal-career-arc-southpaw-broadway/

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 31 July 2015 02:36 (eight years ago) link

It's true that Jake's hit his stride but he still tries too hard.

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 31 July 2015 02:36 (eight years ago) link

i really can't see that hypermuscular boxing potboiler (for money).

apparently he was great w/ Ellen Greene in the concert staging of Little Shop.

― skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Friday, 31 July 2015 03:53 (eight years ago) link

lol @ Harris admitting it was his idea to get Jake w/shirt off for the 2004 EW cover.

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 31 July 2015 11:11 (eight years ago) link

http://image.thefashionisto.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/Jake-Gyllenhaal-July-2015-Esquire-Cover-Photo-Shoot-008-800x1105.jpg

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 5 August 2015 12:25 (eight years ago) link

I think Tom and Lorenzo had some not-so-nice things to say about that photo shoot.

On a different note, Jake was super-charming on the Mystery Show podcast.

― jaymc, Wednesday, 5 August 2015 12:44 (eight years ago) link

who are Tom and Lorenzo?

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 5 August 2015 12:46 (eight years ago) link

Fashion/TV bloggers. Best known for their meticulous close-read recaps of Mad Men.

http://tomandlorenzo.com/2015/07/jake-gyllenhaal-for-esquire-uk-magazine/

― jaymc, Wednesday, 5 August 2015 12:51 (eight years ago) link

oh! Yeah.

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 5 August 2015 12:52 (eight years ago) link

not so nice but also not so interesting either. and wrong, he looks fantastic in the photos.

― Acting Crazy (Instrumental) (jed_), Wednesday, 5 August 2015 13:51 (eight years ago) link

it does look like an in flight mag cover though

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 5 August 2015 13:53 (eight years ago) link

three months pass...

Discussing BBM a decade (!) later. He sounds far smarter and more self-assured than he ever did.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anGypG5-T-8

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, 29 November 2015 22:34 (eight years ago) link

from that southpaw movie & training, he should fight mike b Jordan from creed irl on ppv

― johnny crunch, Tuesday, 1 December 2015 15:58 (eight years ago) link

in leather thongs

― skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 1 December 2015 17:33 (eight years ago) link

Good interview, and I like a lot of what he had to say, but I have to wonder if BBM can ever be spoken about with anything but awed reverence.

― Fetty Wap Is Strong In Here (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 2 December 2015 18:57 (eight years ago) link

I was pretty bored by it. Ang Lee is boring in general.

― Οὖτις, Wednesday, 2 December 2015 19:01 (eight years ago) link

it does seem like a lot of the discourse around the film has more to do with its particular cultural moment and less to do with it as an actual film or as part of a continuum of films about gay people.

― Οὖτις, Wednesday, 2 December 2015 19:06 (eight years ago) link

It's a period piece.

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 2 December 2015 19:31 (eight years ago) link

Confirmed on a mass cultural scale that women love gay slash.

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 2 December 2015 19:31 (eight years ago) link

apparently women and gay men love retro lesbian stuff, hence the dullish and rewarded Carol

― skateboards are the new combover (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 2 December 2015 19:35 (eight years ago) link

one year passes...

to Broadway w/ Sondheim

http://www.playbill.com/article/jake-gyllenhaal-annaleigh-ashford-sunday-in-the-park-moving-to-broadway

― Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 23:13 (seven years ago) link

He needs it after giving the worst movie performance of his career.

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 23:22 (seven years ago) link

why don't you come up and go with me?

― Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 02:12 (seven years ago) link

and has anyone heard him sing?

― Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 22:20 (seven years ago) link

IF it runs thru spring, maybe! I'm planning a trip to Gotham then.

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 22:22 (seven years ago) link

He sang a Dreamgirls tune on SNL a decade ago. He's more in tune with nudity.

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 22:22 (seven years ago) link

i didnt see the movie but it dawned on me that its kinda audacious to portray a titular southpaw boxer as i presume a righty?

― johnny crunch, Wednesday, 14 December 2016 22:28 (seven years ago) link

it runs Feb 11-Apr 23; don't give me 'a decade ago', i'm sure he's had some training since.

― Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 22:32 (seven years ago) link

watched southpaw, jake is convincing mostly, fight scenes and otherwise although its so quickly cut that its a bit hard to tell @ times; his inward mumbling even in press conferences is good, betrays his lack of confidence & orphan background; the music is v bad and of course his role was orig written for eminem ~o_o~

― johnny crunch, Saturday, 17 December 2016 19:04 (seven years ago) link

I didn't understand why that movie needed to be made
other than for me to learn about the "philly shell" I guess

― a Warren Beatty film about Earth (El Tomboto), Saturday, 17 December 2016 19:17 (seven years ago) link

directed by antoine fuqua, written by kurt sutter, i took a hard pass

― nomar, Saturday, 17 December 2016 19:19 (seven years ago) link

three weeks pass...

I can't: http://www.popsugar.com/celebrity/Jake-Gyllenhaal-Shirtless-Pictures-St-Barts-January-2017-42938768

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 12 January 2017 16:10 (seven years ago) link

I saw Nocturnal Animals recently. Loved it immensely. But he holds no sexual appeal to me. :-( Well, he does but not in a movie stqr way.

― nathom, Friday, 13 January 2017 20:52 (seven years ago) link

three weeks pass...

I can't: http://www.broadwayworld.com/videoplay/VIDEO-Jake-Gyllenhaal-Shares-Sings-from-SUNDAY-IN-THE-PARK-WITH-GEORGE-20170207

― Heavy Doors (jed_), Wednesday, 8 February 2017 00:22 (seven years ago) link

can Jake bark for me

― the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 8 February 2017 00:28 (seven years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/TGE1oqA.gif

― Heavy Doors (jed_), Wednesday, 8 February 2017 00:48 (seven years ago) link

I can't

https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2017-01/2/12/asset/buzzfeed-prod-web-12/sub-buzz-29045-1483378204-1.jpg?resize=625:827

― the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 16 February 2017 12:47 (seven years ago) link

Ben Brantley, NYT:

“Mr. Gyllenhaal translates the intensity that has characterized his most memorable screen appearances (including Brokeback Mountain and Nightcrawler) into a searing theatrical presence, in which his eyes are his center of gravity. He embodies one of Seurat’s favorite artistic dictums, ‘concentrate,’ with an unwavering focus that seems to consume and illuminate the dark.

“Mr. Gyllenhaal invests every note he sings with the rapt determination of someone trying to capture and pin down the elusive. Watch Seurat at work, dabbing specks of color on his canvas, and listen to the vigor (and rigor) with which he invests the repetition of those colors’ names.”

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/23/theater/review-sunday-in-the-park-with-george-jake-gyllenhaal.html

― Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Friday, 24 February 2017 20:45 (seven years ago) link

I'd love for him to pin me with rapt determination.

― the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 24 February 2017 20:50 (seven years ago) link

two months pass...

I can't

https://m.popkey.co/8db12c/v49EY.gif

― the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 27 April 2017 18:55 (seven years ago) link

https://m.popkey.co/8db12c/v49EY.gif

― the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 27 April 2017 18:55 (seven years ago) link

tot fine in the Sondheim musical btw

― Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 27 April 2017 18:56 (seven years ago) link

Alfred, yer killing me.

― Heavy Doors (jed_), Friday, 28 April 2017 00:05 (seven years ago) link

tot fine in the Sondheim musical btw

― Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Thursday, April 27, 2017 2:56 PM

he's not nude in it

― the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 28 April 2017 00:16 (seven years ago) link

Seurat does get down on all fours and bark at one point, though.

― Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Friday, 28 April 2017 19:05 (seven years ago) link

six months pass...

he's kinda terrible in Okja, in a prom king tries to be class clown way

http://static.celebuzz.com/uploads/2016/07/gyllenhaal-okja-july18-01-lead-620x413.jpg

― ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Monday, 6 November 2017 15:38 (six years ago) link

is he worse than in Nocturnal Animals?

(I have the screener sitting on my table and can't muster the enthusiasm, not with The Square also beckoning)

― morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 6 November 2017 15:40 (six years ago) link

I wouldn't get too excited abt The Square

― Ward Fowler, Monday, 6 November 2017 15:45 (six years ago) link

at 142 minutes it's hard

― morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 6 November 2017 15:46 (six years ago) link

I haven't seen Nocturnal Animals, cuz i read the reviews, and refuse to watch any more of the fashion-designer's oeuvre.

Okja is worth seeing though, I never thought there'd be a film where a 'dual Tilda Swinton performance' would please and not terrify me.

also here's a pillow design for Alfred:

http://www.media4.hw-static.com/media/2016/07/wenn_okja_071816_1800x1200_01.jpg

― ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Monday, 6 November 2017 15:54 (six years ago) link

I need to check out Okja if for no other reason than several of the cast were staying at the same hotel I was in for a conference while they were filming in Seoul, and I was unintentionally a dick to Paul Dano.

― El Tomboto, Monday, 6 November 2017 17:01 (six years ago) link

this was one of the first Dano performances I enjoyed

― ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Monday, 6 November 2017 17:09 (six years ago) link

gyllenhall is hilarious in okja

― ToddBonzalez (BradNelson), Monday, 6 November 2017 17:19 (six years ago) link

oh Brad, what're gonna do with you? :)

― ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Monday, 6 November 2017 17:26 (six years ago) link

at 142 minutes it's hard

― morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, November 6, 2017 10:46 AM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

that's a long wait

― phenibut rock (rip van wanko), Monday, 6 November 2017 17:37 (six years ago) link

Jake will do that.

― morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 6 November 2017 17:41 (six years ago) link

i'll agree with you on dano morbs. he also had to deliver the clunkiest dialogue in the movie

― ToddBonzalez (BradNelson), Monday, 6 November 2017 17:43 (six years ago) link

I liked The Square even though it seriously loses steam after the 100-minute mark or so

― Simon H., Monday, 6 November 2017 17:43 (six years ago) link

I think Matt Seitz got it right in his otherwise-rave of Okja:

"Jake Gyllenhaal's performance as a hypocritical nature TV celeb is the only flat-out casting disaster. Jim Carrey-style clowning is not, to put it mildly, this actor's most comfortable mode, and his fidgety, braying, often mincing performance is so misjudged that it destroys scenes that should have been unsettling or touching."

― ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Monday, 6 November 2017 21:17 (six years ago) link

morbs otm here, jake's terrible in this

― Week of Wonders (Ross), Tuesday, 7 November 2017 02:32 (six years ago) link

thread derail re: The Square and other things - is anyone else getting tired of people saying how amazing Elizabeth Moss is in everything all the time. I mean, she's pretty good. She's always exactly the same.

― Susan Stranglehands (jed_), Tuesday, 7 November 2017 02:38 (six years ago) link

She's good, solid. I don't care if actors fail to show or won't show range.

― morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 7 November 2017 02:49 (six years ago) link

Has she ever played anything with energy? She always comes across as flat (even in Mad Men).

― rb (soda), Tuesday, 7 November 2017 03:12 (six years ago) link

lol I was thinking of Elizabeth Olsen

― morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 7 November 2017 03:13 (six years ago) link

yeah she's always lethargic. I think she can centre things, she's got something, but people are always banging on about her.

― Susan Stranglehands (jed_), Tuesday, 7 November 2017 03:16 (six years ago) link

i don't need to see range either.

but this thread is about jake. got any cute new paparazzi pics, alf? :)

― Susan Stranglehands (jed_), Tuesday, 7 November 2017 03:18 (six years ago) link

one month passes...

That's one way of looking at his filmography...

― iCloudius (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 13 December 2017 22:48 (six years ago) link

nine months pass...

He does career-best work in Wildlife, the sometimes heavy-handed but solid directorial debut of Paul Dano. Carey Mulligan, whom I've never quite believed in any of her pictures, is his match.

― You like queer? I like queer. Still like queer. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 6 October 2018 15:56 (five years ago) link

Ooft, strong endorsement given his previous work. Look forward to it.

― Ctrl+Alt+Del in Poughkeepsie (fionnland), Saturday, 6 October 2018 17:06 (five years ago) link

Refuse to believe that Carey M is good in this.

― FRE SHA VAC ADO (jed_), Saturday, 6 October 2018 17:17 (five years ago) link

I didn't either, believe me. She nails the insouciance and the bitterness without getting soggy about it.

― You like queer? I like queer. Still like queer. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 6 October 2018 18:49 (five years ago) link

one month passes...

i will 100% watch this.

Jake Gyllenhaal & Rene Russo reunite with "Nightcrawler" director/screenwriter Dan Gilroy for "Velvet Buzzsaw" — a thriller set in LA's contemporary art world scene co-starring Toni Collette, Zawe Ashton, Tom Sturridge, and Natalia Dyer — FIRST PHOTO: pic.twitter.com/WJZYj5w3fM
— See What's Next (@seewhatsnext) November 28, 2018

― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Thursday, 29 November 2018 05:20 (five years ago) link

will he be nude in it

― I like queer. You like queer, senator? (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 29 November 2018 11:56 (five years ago) link

good morning!

― brokenshire (jed_), Thursday, 29 November 2018 12:01 (five years ago) link

I am glad I already told my jake g walking a dog, wearing a popped collar pink polo and barking at another dog story here.

― Yerac, Thursday, 29 November 2018 12:30 (five years ago) link

Andy Garcia's ass crack. Too early in the morning.

― Yerac, Thursday, 29 November 2018 12:33 (five years ago) link

one month passes...

He's Mysterio in the new Spider Man farrago. Will he be nude in it?

― Your sweetie-pie-coo-coo I love ya (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 15 January 2019 20:39 (five years ago) link

lol

― Acting Crazy (Instrumental) (jed_), Tuesday, 15 January 2019 20:41 (five years ago) link

Does he give anyone else crispin glover vibes these days? Felt it for sure in wildlife

― Pierrot with a thousand farces (wins), Tuesday, 15 January 2019 20:42 (five years ago) link

he plays a fastidious oddball english detective in a so so western i watched last night, and yeah I can see a bit of that comparison.

― calzino, Tuesday, 15 January 2019 20:59 (five years ago) link

Is that Sisters Brothers or is he in another western I don't know about?

Velvet Buzzsaw looks like it could be anywhere from great fun to total garbage but there is some A+ Gyllenhaal freaking the fuck out in the trailer

― You guys are caterpillar (Telephone thing), Tuesday, 15 January 2019 22:59 (five years ago) link

Also his character in Okja.

― Yerac, Tuesday, 15 January 2019 23:00 (five years ago) link

yeah that's the one.

― calzino, Tuesday, 15 January 2019 23:01 (five years ago) link

oh also: that Velvet Buzzsaw trailer seems like it spoils *EVERYTHING*. Like, major characters' deaths, at the very least

― You guys are caterpillar (Telephone thing), Tuesday, 15 January 2019 23:05 (five years ago) link

five months pass...

'SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME' Star TOM HOLLAND Couldn't Walk After JAKE GYLLENHAAL Workout! https://t.co/JW4ufH6Zw8 pic.twitter.com/JBC8G50lpD
— ComicBook NOW! (@ComicBookNOW) June 25, 2019

― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Wednesday, 26 June 2019 02:37 (four years ago) link

I need a Jake workout :(

― recriminations from the nitpicking woke (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 26 June 2019 02:45 (four years ago) link

four months pass...

I can't

https://networthbuzz.com/uploads/biography/2019/7/11/fp-1562813345903.jpg

― TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 15 November 2019 19:05 (four years ago) link

fuck sake.

― Heavy Messages (jed_), Friday, 15 November 2019 22:54 (four years ago) link

i would c with his d in me amirite fellas?

― cheese canopy (map), Friday, 15 November 2019 23:00 (four years ago) link

i'm pretty sure i saw him once in a chinatown bar in 2008

― cheese canopy (map), Friday, 15 November 2019 23:03 (four years ago) link

my answer to this thread question is that he is both c (classic) and d (dreamy)

― cheese canopy (map), Friday, 15 November 2019 23:05 (four years ago) link

one year passes...

He's extremely good in The Sisters Brothers (the film is decent) and seeing Jake and Riz Ahmed onscreen at the same time had a significant effect on me.

― Cocteau Twinks (jed_), Friday, 9 April 2021 17:58 (three years ago) link

three months pass...

I can't

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EsQIQOiW8AIAptO.jpg

― So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 22 July 2021 14:21 (two years ago) link

JAKE CAN I JAB YOU TWICE

― So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 22 July 2021 14:21 (two years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Jake Gyllenhaal: "More and more I find bathing to be less necessary, at times...I do also think that there’s a whole world of not bathing that is also really helpful for skin maintenance, and we naturally clean ourselves." https://t.co/9zrNFIooey pic.twitter.com/6DxY27DJPw
— Kaiser@Celebitchy (@KaiseratCB) August 6, 2021

― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Friday, 6 August 2021 14:28 (two years ago) link

I can bathe him.

― So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 6 August 2021 14:34 (two years ago) link

lol you don't get called a scruffy bastard when you're a sex-hunk. It reminds me of when the o.g. Ronaldo swapped shirts with Beckham and joked: his sweat smells like cologne!

― calzino, Friday, 6 August 2021 14:38 (two years ago) link

I could have sworn this is like the third story I've seen this week about celebrities not bathing.

― Josh in Chicago, Friday, 6 August 2021 15:09 (two years ago) link

same.

― Heavy Messages (jed_), Friday, 6 August 2021 15:11 (two years ago) link

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/aug/05/i-dont-smell-meet-the-people-who-have-stopped-washing

― calzino, Friday, 6 August 2021 15:21 (two years ago) link

please make it stop. everytime a rich person doesn't bathe i'm the one who has to shower in their place and i'm so so tired pic.twitter.com/saITex2SGZ
— ben wasserman (@benwassertweet) August 6, 2021

― Josh in Chicago, Friday, 6 August 2021 21:53 (two years ago) link

one month passes...

I drifted off for maybe 10 minutes, but the rest of the way I found The Guilty excruciating. Almost bailed.

― clemenza, Sunday, 26 September 2021 20:50 (two years ago) link

Having trouble getting my head around the fact Morbs both saw and enjoyed Bubble Boy.

― Precious, Grace, Hill & Beard LTD. (C. Grisso/McCain), Sunday, 26 September 2021 21:29 (two years ago) link

I liked the Danish Guilty but the concept definitely wears thin by the end. And the remake is 5 minutes longer, apparently

― Vinnie, Monday, 27 September 2021 02:27 (two years ago) link

one year passes...

I can't

https://i.imgur.com/c5SY51q.jpg

― Malevolent Arugula (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 10 January 2023 17:52 (one year ago) link

seven months pass...

https://i.imgur.com/hlMQbZt.jpg

― the dreaded dependent claus (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 28 August 2023 23:51 (nine months ago) link

Agreed

― H.P, Tuesday, 29 August 2023 10:50 (nine months ago) link

two months pass...

I can't

https://i.imgur.com/5mRz3jQ.png

― stuffing your suit pockets with cold, stale chicken tende (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 28 November 2023 00:14 (six months ago) link

Nice mug

― omar little, Tuesday, 28 November 2023 00:43 (six months ago) link

when will he give us a live action guy smiley

― close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Tuesday, 28 November 2023 01:02 (six months ago) link

Jake, I can take or leave.

Maggie, on the other hand . . . I can't.

― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Tuesday, 28 November 2023 14:10 (six months ago) link

I remembered Jakey is younger than me, but I didn't remember it's only by a year and a half. Life is not fair

― active spectator of ecocide and dispossession (Eric H.), Tuesday, 28 November 2023 14:32 (six months ago) link

three weeks pass...

Happy birthday!

https://www.instagram.com/p/C1FmKfTOvwI/

― poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 20 December 2023 22:03 (five months ago) link

one month passes...

https://i.ibb.co/S3mthSy/IMG-2540.jpg

― badpee pooper (Eric H.), Wednesday, 24 January 2024 21:26 (four months ago) link

Papi.

― poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 24 January 2024 21:35 (four months ago) link

one month passes...

So.

― poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 22 March 2024 12:01 (two months ago) link

Watched Road House last night. JG is very good in it, but calling the movie tonally inconsistent would be very generous. And Conor McGregor looks like a CGI/motion capture gimmick.

― Tahuti Watches L&O:SVU Reruns Without His Ape (unperson), Friday, 22 March 2024 12:39 (two months ago) link

how does it compare to the original?

― the absence of bikes (f. hazel), Friday, 22 March 2024 14:47 (two months ago) link

you could never replicate the brilliance of that part were Dalton jumps over the front porch of his house with that amazing ballet move. that whole original movie is just gold every minute until the credits roll.

― scott seward, Friday, 22 March 2024 14:53 (two months ago) link

how does it compare to the original?

I have a lot of thoughts, but basically this is an attempt to make a PG-13 Road House that the whole family can enjoy. The first one was about people who liked fucking, and punching each other. This one is about people who have never fucked, and only punch each other because they're forced into it. But hey, there's a precocious teen girl who says vaguely joke-like things to the protagonist.

― Tahuti Watches L&O:SVU Reruns Without His Ape (unperson), Friday, 22 March 2024 14:56 (two months ago) link

That sounds absolutely fucking awful

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 22 March 2024 15:08 (two months ago) link

The trouble is, there's already a good variant on Roadhouse in theaters called Love Lies Bleeding.

― poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 22 March 2024 15:12 (two months ago) link

Rather!

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 22 March 2024 15:13 (two months ago) link

i think one key problem i have w/the idea of this film is Patrick Swayze was such an absolutely likable screen presence and JG is increasingly less so, and i feel like Roadhouse requires some kind of likable toughness, a kind of noble tough humility that PS was so good at.

― omar little, Friday, 22 March 2024 16:20 (two months ago) link

speak for yourself!

― poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 22 March 2024 16:24 (two months ago) link

Yeah, Swayze was likable; Gyllenhaal is amiable. Two very different things.

Here's the difference between the two movies in a nutshell: in the original, Swayze wakes up and is doing naked tai chi and the female bartender from the roadhouse brings him breakfast and we see her blatantly ogling his naked ass. In this version, Gyllenhaal is awakened on the boat where he's living by the female bartender from the roadhouse; he's wearing boxer briefs and says, embarrassed, that he'll get dressed; she says, "Don't worry; I have brothers."

― Tahuti Watches L&O:SVU Reruns Without His Ape (unperson), Friday, 22 March 2024 16:27 (two months ago) link

I envy those boxer briefs.

― poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 22 March 2024 16:37 (two months ago) link

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Jake Gyllenhaal - C or D?