Big Brother 2007 (UK) Thread 1: Power, Corruption and Lies?

Like deja vu

It was better in 2006.

The bath is in the living room, the fridge is in the garden, the cooker is in the bedroom. It's crrraaazzzzyyyyyy...

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/bigbrother8/a58087/bb-bath-moved-to-living-room.html

The show's bosses hope it will create passion and lots of sexy scenes.

Hot sexy sex action WITH SEX.

Presumably they're hoping this woman will be the first in the tub.
http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/bigbrother8/a58085/sex-addict-to-enter-bb8-house.html

The 20-something secretary bragged that she had slept with over 200 people at the auditions stage...

Which must have taken some doing...

how does having a fridge in the garden create a sexy scene?

"let me take my meat out"

i saw at paper last week. she's a nice girl, friends with michelle marsh. i bought her a wkd. she told me the nigel dempster's niece is going in the house.

Who is Michelle Marsh?

My message go eaten!

Who normally swears that they're not watching every year?

These threads are the only reason I know what's going on.

goT eaten FFS

Make all future BB threads poll-based.

What, as in "Who to go/Who do you like?" sort of thing?

Yeah, I can see that'd be a runner.

Good idea, that sex addict. Now put in a religion addict and see if they convert each other.

And a crack addict and a porn addict...

Ooooh, and a genuine paranoiac. "you sure nobody's watching us?"

Are you looking forward to Big Brother's eighth series?
Yes
23.31%
No
76.69%
5589 Votes Cast
Results are indicative and may not reflect public opinion

but still, they WATCH!

Watching a "where are they now" thing on Channel 4 - dear God, Craig Coates got fat. Also, lol at Marco, chubster hairy boy.

please let that appear on ukn0va

I had totally forgotten about half of last year's mob. There were millions of them!

Jason Cowan looked terriying on that show!

Aye, I think I'd walk past him on the street, he looked so different. Adele from BB3 looked brilliant.

i am not watching, this year, for realsies.

why not?

I mean how come?

i want to be "that guy" this year. who "doesn't watch".

God help me, I just bookmarked this thread u_u

Who normally swears that they're not watching every year?

that'll be me :)

and every year i do. but srsly, i'm with TOGTQ on this one. i really just do not have enough of a fuck to give about this.

i'll watch them going in, just so i've got some vague idea who all these tossbags are who'll be all over the front pages of the red-tops for the next however-long, but that's it. the only way i'd want to watch another series of BB is if they took it back to absolute basics, and that obviously isn't about to happen.

HOWEVER, i will read this thread :)

Riiiiiight...

(Ha ha xpost!)

if they took it back to absolute basics

if only!

From all the preamble, it just seems like the aim is to get more fodder for the dailys in that 'aiming for a career presenting lo-budget porn channels, until get booted for next years short-half-life celeb from BB9' way.

"painful showoffs" seems almost polite these days.

Of course, it could all be red herringsville, and/or 2 or 3 obvious ones hiding (at first) some interesting people.

But, we have done the "I'll use Big Brother to come out of the closet" guests, and yet the 'place to get intimate/married' seems to be the new ummm taupe.

As per every year, the quality of the cake is in the cooking at the time.

Hello, My name is Mark. I have been up for 24 hours straight and I've travelled 303 miles so far. I'll be akip in about 10 hours, so the only way is down.

saw the after they were housemates thing and the r brand thing too

I wish one year they'd have a house full of quite ordinary, nice people. People who sat around having interesting discussions about books and movies and music, and who were naturally quick-witted and could crack a few jokes, and who were funny and silly when they'd had a few drinks. No freaks or drama queens.

Last time that happened, Jack Dee won.

i would like to see a couple of OAPs in the ordinary BB house (of course we've had them in the sleb one)

BB NAMES LEAKED
29/05/07
A TOP secret list naming the new Big Brother housemates was leaked yesterday – just 24 hours before the show starts.

A “whistleblower” posted a message on a showbiz website and within minutes of the names being revealed, the site went into meltdown.

TV bosses had desperately been trying to keep the identities of the wannabes under wraps.

However, the “whistleblower”, claiming he had close links with Channel 4 and Endemol UK, decided to throw the programme into chaos.

Not only did he claim to have the full list of the official housemates, he also bragged he had the names of “extras” being lined up as surprise new contestants later in the series, as well as stand-ins in case anyone walks or falls ill.

When the Daily Star called C4 bosses last night about the list, they refused to say whether it was real or not.

A show spokeswoman said: “Any speculation regarding this year’s set of
housemates for Big Brother is just that – speculation.

“We urge viewers to tune into our launch show tomorrow night to find who just who is going into the house this summer.”

Last year C4 suffered a major setback when, two weeks before the show went on air, a list was leaked to the media naming all of the wannabes.

It meant fans saw pictures of Welsh beauty Imogen Thomas, 24, Tourette’s
sufferer Pete Bennett, 24, and bonkers Shahbaz Chaudhry, 38, days before the show began.

Did they mean us? Guess not...

I'd forgotten all about "Welsh beauty Imogen Thomas, 24" - she never really got her baps out in the lads' mags, did she?

Gosh no.

Pity!

(Results 1 - 10 of about 409,000 for Imogen Thomas nude.)

I saw her sex video.

It was horrible seeing BB6 Craig on TV again the other day (on E4 BB nostalgia show). he's puffed up tho lol.

I watched that show as well, and was not sorry that I didn't watch BB at all last year and hardly at all the year before.

I wish one year they'd have a house full of quite ordinary, nice people. People who sat around having interesting discussions about books and movies and music, and who were naturally quick-witted and could crack a few jokes, and who were funny and silly when they'd had a few drinks. No freaks or drama queens.

I have been wishing this since year four.

surely thou it is impossible to capture the innocence of the first two.

"nicholas i'm very dissapointed..."(sic)

BEGINING OF TIME

Today!

Rumour: All todays housemates are female (at least to start with)

I wondered what happened to Nasty Nick, but it turns out he went to Australia, became "openly gay", and was evicted with 51% of the vote.
Or so it seems.

So, we have "Woman in a burkha", "Woman from the WI", "Woman that is a bit promisc", what else?

12 women and no men, and somebody who knows someone else who knows David Beckham.

Right, Channel 4 have confirmed the WI member and the lap dancer.

Two of my colleagues are going to Big Brother's Big Mouth tomorrow. They are trying to get someone else to go, but nobody wants to. I might watch it just to laugh at them.

Ok, youse lot: Catch you later in front of teh TV!

My house appears to be 2:1 split in favour of watching the Apprentice so I'm assuming I'll be missing them all go in. The opening bit isn't being streamed over the C4 website is it?

WI member will be from fulham branch i'm guessing, ie sloany 30-something rather than granny...

not rly feasible for you to get round mine in an hour is it Matt?

My house is split 1:1 in favour of the Apprentice and I am losing on points. (The Scotland game was knocked out in qualifying since it's only a friendly, it's not on the council telly, and I'm dying of death lurgey and can't go to the pub)

The Apprentice is on BBC On Demand, which is how I'm gonna be watching it this week.

Celeb BB was on C4 OD, so presumably normal BB will be as well.

(also we can wind matt up sending him silly txt msgs ;))

OK, it's on.

No it isn't!

OFCOM STATEMENT!

(We're a bit sorry)

lol it's apology time.

Good luck with the not-being-able-to-turn-off-xpost-notifications thing, lads!

ta. xpost

New Virgin Media idents. They won't get old quick.

Davina is promising...

NO GAY MARRIAGE

NO VANISHED PEOPLE

AND NO DYNAMITE

http://wickedchopspoker.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/wbelt1.jpg

AND NO NEW TAXES

LONGER WALKWAY THIS IS OFFICIALLY THE MOST REVOLUTIONARY BIG BROTHER EVER

Maybe racist housemates will get lost on the way to the house? Is that the idea behind the walkway?

It's a holding area, Dav!

THERE IS A BULLSEYE IN THE HOUSE. REPEAT, THERE IS A BULLSEYE IN THE HOUSE.

After 15mins of failing to get C4's live simulcast thing to work I am planning on following this via thread alone. What music should I be listening to in order to best recapture the experience?

Mad cupboards! That design crew be earning their salary this year.

John Cage's 4' 53" xpost

After 15mins of failing to get C4's live simulcast thing to work I am planning on following this via thread alone. What music should I be listening to in order to best recapture the experience?

"I Said Never Again (But Here We Are)"

Is that the extended version, Mark?

Or it could be Sly Stone's "There's a riot going on" track on autorepeat.

Christ this tour of the house is dull.

I'm watching the Apprentice and reading this thread. A loser is me.

No, you is teh best of both worls.

Don't do no spoilers, I'm recording App to see it when Dawn's back home next week.

No It's Not Annoying! It's a fridge Hooray!

Come on Davina - this is no fun! Bring on the dancing girls.

Update from my house - 'I Said Never Again (But Here We Are)' still sounds really good.

Neon Settee!

Yay commercial break!

Echo Falls Wine! Slimming ad!

OK, I'll calm down.

Worst 15 minutes of television ever.

Had to be said: http://www.myspace.com/citizenscience

TICKET NUMBER ONE IN THE ROYAL RUMBLE IS...

SOME TWINS

Sam and Amanda

SAM AND AMANDA MUST GO

Chav attack!

RUN!

It's like Heavenly Creatures with these two.

First boos of the series!

They seem not terribly bright!

(to be clear - they attacked chavs, not me)

I think I like them anyway.

They love "hot boyz" and "pink things".

Well, the Olson twins never really caught on here.

Ah, go on. Benefit of the doubt.

They'll be in tears before Friday!

Please rate 'hotness' and 'mentalism potential' out of 10.

O no - they also hate serious or dull people, but want to attract clever boys. they're a piece of work!

Please rate 'hotness' and 'mentalism potential' out of 10.

8 and 10.

LESLEY IS A 60 YEAR OLD

LOL OLD PEOPLE

Ok now this is better!

(until...)

Derek Laud 2K7

Hang on, MARGARET! YOU'RE ON THE WRONG SIDE!!

I like this old headhunter!

Friends with Charles and Camilla.

Doesn't like music.

Hotness: 4
Mentalism: 2

I'm calling 'winner' without even having seen her.

Reading banned in house.

#3 is...

CHARLEY

I'm A Sleb has already proved that Britishes be loving their dotty old Tory gran figures.

OK the twins:

Less mental than Nikki

But there's two of them!

This is Lex's favourite.

HOTNESS: 6
MENTALISM: 8

Ah, this is Kieran Richardson's cuz.

Plz include Poshness grade as well from now on.

um, she's the anonymous onew

(Why the booing tho?)

Yeah, this one's dead in week one. Black + female + confrontational = BB death.

She looks old.

If she survives to, say, Week 3, expect a lot of crying.

Why the booing? She's said nothing confrontational!

What are the crowd singing? "We don't give a stuff for yr racial censure" ?

Did one of them just say "I've got boobs"?

Oh, it was "I got booed"

TS: SINGING BEES VS TALKING FLOWERS

It wouldn't surprise me if it was "I got boobs" - wasn't that Lesleh's entire conversational gambit for about her first 20 minutes on BB?

(I'm not actually watching this and I don't know who you're talking about)

Say "Hi" to... TRACEY

80s aciiiiiied casualty

It's Dennis Pennis!

No it's DONNY TOURETTE!

After two series of girls bullying each other, have they decided the way forward is an all female house or something?

Tracey must go.

PETE'S MUM MUST GO

ah xpost

I like this mental ageing crusty pillhead!

I could like her.

Let's see.

xpost

I thought they rounded up all the candyravers in 1997 and shot them.

I take it the 12 female contestants thing is going to be true :(

xpost

Weird?

I've had weirder things for breakfast!

HOTNESS: 0
MENTALISM: 4
POSHNESS: Acting 0, in reality probably a 10.

First to walk - I'm calling it.

Well, that's the most popular entrance since Series one!

Self-proclaimed weirdos are always good value.

When did you turn up, NV?

Spiraaaaaaaal Triiiiiiiibe

hmm, yes indeed, forward the revolution

CHANELLE

I LOVE HER.

She wants to be Victoria Beckham.

I'd hit this.

uh oh.

HOTNESS: 9
MENTALISM: 2
POSHNESS: 6

breathe dear, breathe. Victoria Beckham does, so it's ok

First hm to say that she' not bovvered.

Can we have someone bearable please BB? No? Ok.

xxxxxxpost

Just got in.

So this one is this year's Jade remix, right?

and scared of not being Victoria Beckham.

This one is clearly a lot smarter than she's letting on.

My guess is the Victoria B schtick will be dropped very quickly with this one.

did she just ask for bum-love?

"Ello, you look like Liz Carling!"

18, 19, 37..

She's got a nicer smile than Victoria Beckham. Actually, I'm not sure Victoria Beckham does smile.

SHABNAM

Have any of them expressed a desire to try lezzing up yet? Surely the "all-female" concept will stand or fall on this?

now THIS one's the first week walker.

Is this the emo candidate?

Another good smile. And voice.

Oh god, self-proclaimed "nutter". Probably very boring in reality.

Actually she might be alright.

Bad eyes.

She's got a nicer smile than Victoria Beckham. Actually, I'm not sure Victoria Beckham does smile.

She doesn't smile because she has pirhana teeth.

Nice to see Noel Fielding trying out a new character live.

HOTNESS: 9
MENTALISM: 1
POSHNESS: 4

"Cheer me I'm scared"

Oh, I'm going off her.

I think you were right first time. first real actual breakdown on screen, right there

Cross between Amy Winehouse (first album), and oh someone I know.

OK AND NOEL FIELDING xpost.

Freddie Mercury?

"Her nickname is "Shabbolicious"."

No. No it isn't.

Did you hear Pete's mom telling them she was 37? I was at least 15 years out.

hang on. why are they singing "Glamorous" all suddenly?

Posh!

poshness: 10?

A must!

Pete Baran isn't going to be in this, is he? :(

EMILY.

DRAMA STUDENT.

Posher than Hitler.

ha INDIE!!!!!

lol toffs with no self-awareness

THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE

LOLZ

"new music taking over the country called indie"

THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE
THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE
THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE
THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE
THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE
THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE
THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE
THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE
THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE
THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE
THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE
THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE
THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE
THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE
THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE
THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE
THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE
THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE
THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE
THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE
THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE
THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE
THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE
THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE

INDIE MUST STAY. DIRTY DRONEROCK BOYS REQUIRED!

WHY CAN'T I CHANGE MY USERNAME???

Actually, so far so good!

No-one actually hateworthy.

xpost Kate?

I want her £4000 Tory teeth.

She's quite fit tbf. A Tory though, quelle surprise.

I don't want to be on the same planet as her.

I'm assuming we'll be able to look this one up on Facebook, right?

She idolises Lily Allen. Quelle sup.

OK, so which one isn't getting a media career after this?

She is the face of new Britain.

"OK, so which one isn't getting a media career after this?"

Chanelle.

jesus...this really is proof that reality is more far fetched than anything fiction can muster.

is tracey mentally handicapped? honestly?

FYI: THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE

OOO BOP! FASHION!

Okay after one Google query I know who all the other housemates are and I'm bored now.

Most of them ham it up something rotten on their intro videos, though.

Ew - Moyles, I had no idea.

Beth ditto?

LAURA IS BETH DITTO

lol xp

these contestants provide a grim picture of the human race.

I am not reading that leaked list.

lol Vicky Pollard is as much otm actually.

The Only Beth Ditto in the Village!

She seems nice.

she's a future Nurse Gladys Emmanuel

NICKY, 27

She parties HARD.

This one isn't doing anything, huh?

Oh I like this girl. She has no chance though. She likes electro! Jeez. But she hates men. Oh dear.

Nicky seems like a non-freak!

By the way, THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE

OK, I guess the last one is going to be the mad nut hate mental figure.

"nasty little creatures"

GIVE US HELL NICKY!

I like her - most normal

Half-brother in Skins!

This year's Bonnie?

Uh-oh, hyperventilation.

You can't like her just for being normal! That's how Nazi Germany started.

Hitler was nice?

How is she remotely like Bonnie?

meanwhile, Leslie sits at the back getting plastered - this could be fun

Carol, 53, from "Woo woo woo" East London.

Things are slowing here, I haven't had an xpost for 10 minutes!

xpost!

She's like bonnie in that when she goes it will seem unjust as she hasn't made an impression.

Oh, whoops - I was thinking of Lesley, not Bonnie!

It's a Greenham Common throwback.

KITTEN'S MOM MUST GO

can we evict Carole before she goes in?

Heh, proper crusty leftie.

OK, I guess the last one is going to be the mad nut hate mental figure.

-- Mark G, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 21:05 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Did I call this or what?

it's Millie Tant!

Porkpie OTM.

Carole looks like Newman off Seinfeld.

Hah, she's a local council candidate for Respect!

Respect party?

Galloway's lot?

Stood for RESPECT! I wonder if Gorgeous George gave her any advice.

Alba OTM. hahaha

"One, Two, three, four.."

how long before the Carole vs Leslie beatdown?

She reminds me a little of Grotbags.

Carol 8/1
Laura 10/1
Tracey 16/1
Nickey 18/1
Emily 20/1
Sam 25/1
Amanda 25/1
Lesley 33/1
Channelle 33/1
Shabnam 33/1
Charley 50/1

Just watched that. OMG Heathers, with spectators.

Voting/betting on identical twins will be interesting.

I assumed they'd count as 1. I mean, they're only packing 1 personality between them.

NEWS AT TEN - GIRL WITH PINK HAIR = NEIL WARNOCK

To pick up on Dom's betting, while we were watching it I said Carol ftw as long as she can reign her gob in in the right areas. Young girls treat her like a mum and not vote to evict, innit.

So is the point here that you have lots of girly girls and then the rest are complete she-men?

Nicky is rather hot.

nobody ftw

Those were fake tears from lesley! This is a really intriguing line up, coo

Victoria Beckham one is being played by Catherine Tate, yes?

Right, it seems Dawn watched the apprentice up in Newcassl.

so, I'm off.

That was weirdly underwhelming. It's not exactly left me wanting to watch it tomorrow night.

It'll be more about the 'activities'/challenges.

Good!

i bet the amy winehouse one likes electro too

i wonder what they think of Justice

There's a new music taking over the country

"THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE" to mention DrownedInSound or Pitchfork at any point over the forthcoming 3 months: 2/5

too rough, over compressed trebly bass

Which one was that that said that indie thing anyway?

the annoying one

Thought as much, cheers

oh, hang on...

Emily I think

Emily has younger twin sisters. They are 'paris hiltonlike'.

So, I guess she's feeling right at home now.

They need to put in a nerd who's scared of girls but is actually quite handsome on friday. My TV is too far from my internet to post while I'm watching, but I totally knew you'd all be going mad for the indie comment.

Nicky is the only one I'd want to meet, but I rather like Carol.

I am trying to watch the live feed but IT IS JUST NOISE.

I typed that one word in here first, I knew that was the one that'd get 'em.

twist is that 5 of them are actually trannies, amirite?

Pete's "mom" for sure.

TWINS MUST GO.

Much LOLing @ Indie Tory idiot.

I quite like Nicky.

Nicky=last three, but not winner.

How come nobody ever claims to be a War Campaigner?

nicky ftw

just when i thought i was out... they pulled me back in.

I think Charlie may turn out to be actually OK.

I mainly watched Children's TV on Trial on BBC4 and missed most of this, but from what I've seen: girls girls girls! And none of them are that hot. Maybe the glum looking Lily Allen with the Cleopatra hair, and the vacant blonde in the little-gurl turqouise dress might grow on me.

OK, now Where's Grimly?

lots of gender neutral names in there

Posh jr is the fittest, followed by ol' forefront of the indie revolution.

I don't think Yorkshire Posh is all that good looking. But she really reminds me of someone (not Posh). Someone from the '80s. It'll come to me.

Lesley wants to leave already, I sense.

"Well tell what to do.
But why should I tell them?
Well, you're carrying the bible, and don't you want an easy life?
You mean I could give myself , like, no jobs?"

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOO, let's all be really environmentally friendly and in touch with the Earth."

Lesley shoots herself.

Yorkshire Posh looks like Therese Bazaar.

xpost

Liz Carling?

Nice to see Noel Fielding trying out a new character live.

-- Noodle Vague, Wednesday, May 30, 2007 8:48 PM (59 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

ahahahahahahahaha snap

Oh, my earlier post disappeared. Anyway, tracy looks like Nicholas Lyndhurst in a pink wig from certain angles. Barbie twins must go.

Posh Spicealike = Amanda Holden x aargh, someone else off the telly I can't remember right now.

(I've changed my mind. Amy Winelodge must go)

I saw Amanda Holden on something the other day, she's hilariously botoxed now.

And her teeth are really manky (she was on Parky one night and I was transfixed by how much money she had spent doing other stuff yet completely neglected her horrible teeth)

Maybe it's not botox then. Maybe Les Dennis slipped her some rancid seafood.

Actually there was a shot of Yorkshire Posh straight on and there was something of the Nicholas Lyndhurst/Mackenzie Cook about her (bony face, sunken eyes). But now I think it's a girl from Pulp's "Misshapes" video she reminds me of.

The twins look like idiot versions of Lauren Laverne.

Too easy.

STRAIGHT HEAD WATCH SEZ:

Laura, Lesley, Sam and Shabnam are very straight indeed. Carole is at a quite od Chad angle, but strangely straight. Tracey and Emily are next, then Chanelle and Charley.

So, Amanda or Nicky to go first.

"odd", obv

"I would either like to be famous and rich or a speech therapist in Spain."

The twins will have been in so many morally dubious photoshoots by the time the summer is out. They knew exactly what they were doing with that lollipop thing.

Emily is hot. Batty old socialist woman looks like the only potential winner here, but it'll probably be a bloke.

Was that Hardeep Singh Kohli pretending to be Osamam Bin Laden just now?

"Henrik, like, Ibsen, he, like wrote this play called The Dolls House in, like Victorian times *and all that jazz*."

That's why you haven't got on luv, mixing showbiz genres like that, not because "there aren't any theatres worth anything in Bristol".

I need to go to bed, I hate them all already.

b-b-but she's got a triple distinction in her diploma!

(that was quite impressive sounding until she spoiled it by explaining that that lets her go on to do an HND next year)

the only one i like is the welsh one, she seems nice.

chanelle must die.

as must the indie one

and the hippy farmer witch

and the twins

argh.

SO MANY VAPID 'OUTSPOKEN MEDIA TYPE' SOCIALITES, just like every other year, WHY MUST YOU BE THIS WAY BIG BROTHER, so fucking predictable

Yeah okay, that posh indie drama girl is vile. I'm switching allegence. I now like Lily Allen for the chain-smoking aloofness, and the young Amy Winehouse girl, who looks a bit like Jennifer Connelly in that Dario Argento film.

The twins, though ultra-dippy, seem quite harmless.

And Carole is Mike Read after a sex change (Mike Read as in "Mike Read Mike Read on 275 and 285 on your radio" Saturday Superstore acoustic guitar Mike Read, not "Runarahnd... NOWWWW!" Mike Read).

The space-cadet really is a sex change, though, right??

^^Not Carole, I mean Lesley. I'm learning the names slowly.

The twins are quite sweet really, there seem to be fewer hateable ones this year.

Tracy is turning out to be pretty condescending though with all this "I'm on a different level to you because I don't wear makeup stuff". They edited out something that the Emily Blunt one shouted back at her though, arse.

HOUSEMATES – EMILY
Emily
Name: Emily
Age: 19
Home:
Job: Student/Waitress
Starsign:

Fashionable drama student, Emily is an indie chick with the heart of a middle-class politician who has no time for those who don't live up to her high standards. She'd like to write for Vogue, having given up her dream of becoming a fashion designer because she can't sew. She's hoping to find a gorgeous indie rocker man in the house.

Status: Single.

First Words: "Thank God for that."

Life Philosophy: "Live life to the fullest, like it's your last. Enjoy what's around you and what's given to you."

Likes: Fashion, drama, parties, new rave music, the Sims.

Dislikes: People who tell white lies, are ignorant or deliberately stupid.

Why BB?: "It looks like the biggest adventure  and it's free!"

they should send marcello in

No, you pay! In soul coinage!

i'd go on bb! screw the soul!

Why isn't "indie" in Emily's likes list then, eh?

is "new rave music" not indie? lol justice thread.

God help me, I downloaded this and the accompanying show for a homesick friend and I love it! I guess now that American Idol is over I can afford to have an unhealthy TV obsession.

they should send marcello in.

The second word is "off."

and the first is 'wank'

just jokin' marcello!

i reckon you'd be pretty funny tho. BB needs more cranky, literate types...

Big Brother/literate - the oxymoron to end all oxymorons?

I watched about five seconds of it last night in between The Apprentice and The Apprentice - You're Fired! Davina in her kinky leather for the Kleenex brigade as usual (didn't fuel my helicopter)..."another housemate" and it was the usual preening pranny so that was more than enough.

I reckon it would take just 3 genuinely intelligent people to entirely subvert the accepted Big Brother dynamic. Trouble is, you're not going to find 3 genuinely intelligent people who actually want to apply. Pity.

Davina does little for me either, but I don't think that's the point. I think she's going for the whole 'cool young mother' look, so rather than being the kind of lady we want to screw, she's the kind of lady we want looking after our kids. In theory.

She's still pretty irritating.

Dude, I'm sure "genuinely intelligent" people have applied to BB. We could debate whether they'd be really boring TV or not, but it's pretty clear by this stage that Endemol knows what it's doing re: its target audience and if you don't like it you either ignore it or take the piss.

so rather than being the kind of lady we want to screw, she's the kind of lady we want looking after our kids

Confused? You will be...

Unlikely (JGO xpost). Remember that BB inmates are not allowed to read while they're in (not good TV you see). Also, regardless of however many "intelligent" people apply, or even get into the house, the producers are far cleverer and will exploit every conceivable way to cut you down to size (as Galloway himself has acknowledged).

Well, I enjoy taking the piss, granted, but I think it would be really interesting to clash the vapid socialites with a few real thinkers. I reckon that would make INCREDIBLE TV, as each side slowly drove the other mad, or better still, as each side gravitated towards one another. It would be a great anthropological experiment, and a good one to watch as well.

I think people who realise they're being viewed by millions yet have no interaction with the outside world will generally always make great TV, unless they'rereally boring and/or unintelligent, which most BB contestants nowadays regrettably are.

Marcello, it isn't possible for a producer to completely control one's actions. Even if you're required to do a degrading task, it's possible to carry it out with a certain knowing elan. Also, I reckon that these intelligent folks can go a few weeks without reading. Surely?

Incredible TV? Gawd 'elp us!

"i went into the big brother house IRONICALLY"

nonono, you wouldn't go in ironically. You'd go in to entertain, but your entertainment would be of a different, or warped, version of the entertainment usually offered. You'd still have to be reasonably expressive and actually want to be seen by millions.

like Pete from last year.

Ratings have decreased to an all-time low. Viewer focus groups have complained of "long boring talks about weirdo beardo music" and "no titties."

Friday's new housemate: Jonathan Miller. Nation switches to ITV.

"i had a screaming row with the annoying homophobe, but with a certain knowing elan"

There'd be a delicious combination of titties AND erudite discussion! Moreover, I can tell you now I wouldn't talk about weirdo beardo music in the BB house; I may do that all the time outside, but on BB it wouldn't be at all interesting to more than about 3 viewers.

Jonathan Miller would probably be a bit too po-faced. I want people who perhaps resemble your typical BB contestant, but reveal themselves by increments (and perhaps a little acting) as being a little more sophisticated.

Police were called to the Big Brother house last night after viewers complained of a fist fight breaking out during a discussion on the merits of Derek Bailey's later work.

guys, intelligence != necessarily talking about high art/culture, the intelligence i'd like to see would be intelligence IN THE CONTEXT of normal BB activity.

"I think it was Schlegel who remarked OKAY WHICH ONE OF YOU BASTARDS HAS EATEN ALL THE EGGS?"

Watching the live feeds last night, BB are already editing this to try and portray a house split between the oldies and the youngies.

too early dudes

NV, again you're bringing in a high cultural reference. In actuality, the best response to someone eating the eggs would be to fly into a mock-rage, eloquently but noisily decrying the gluttony of modern man or whatever, but then defusing it with a sly acknowledgement of the watching cameras, or better still storming off with a wink.

No, the best response would be to beat Pete's mom unconscious with a whisk while singing "Raving I'm Raving" at the top of your lungs.

like John McCririck? xpost naturally.

did john mccririck do it as an act, or was he genuinely being a rowdy old fart?

NV that's actually quite an amusing idea, shame about actually procuring pete's mum in order to carry it out :(

She's already in there.

Sorry, Pete's "mum".

With the big hairy hands.

maybe if you chased the offender around the house with a whisk, singing 'raving i'm raving' at the top of your lungs, maybe that would be ideal

wait, is carole PD's mum?!?!?!

Who was that woman who, errrrrrrrrrrr, she was a sort of lesbian, errrrrrrr, bisexual, errrrrrrrr, oh fuck I've lost interest

Pete's mum is a really impressive and fairly well-known session musician who's played with The Cure and Marc Almond.

Last autumn I was asked by someone who is a part of BB if I'd ever consider being on it, possibly because they were seeking a certain demographic? Or they wanted a range of women for this girlsworld concept. The idea intrigued me for five whole seconds, for standard-issue Rabbie Burns reasons. Contrarian American Jane Lane-ish feminist who can't resist bitchy one-liners, great in theory. It took me about another five secs to mentally calculate the YES and NO columns, and it totally came up NO, so NO was the answer, flat. In any event I would have totally pulled out because my dad is ill now.

This thread really could do with the return of CALUM

The idea intrigued me for five whole seconds, for standard-issue Rabbie Burns reasons.

Y'what?

I thought about applying for Bullseye once.

'o what a gift the giftie gie us, to see ourselves as others see us'

This thread big brother really could do with the return arrival of CALUM

Has a 'wee cowrin' timorous beastie' ever won BB?

The idea appeals up to a point: People seeing you at your witty best (editing notwithstanding), coping with scenarios and keeping your head while others go off on one.

But as I say, soul coinage.

xpost yeah, rabbie burns: Quite.

I did tell Calum he should apply, back in the day.

But then, his threads would have been Daily Star research material.

He could be the new Shahbazz!

He was more Federico, I reckon.

I was thinking more in terms of onscreen crackup and threats of suicide

Obviously BB friend could not say if they were considering this girl thing but if they were I can see why I might have been sized up for it. "Say Emily, seeing as you're so INDIE maybe you can be the new Cynthia Plaster-Caster."

I watched about five seconds of The Apprentice. Alan Sugar in his kinky leather for the Kleenex brigade as usual (didn't fuel my helicopter)..."another apprentice" and it was the usual preening pranny so that was more than enough.

My friend H was *slating* that leather jacket.

o hai once again this thread provides more lolz than the show itself.

LOL @ Suzy on BB:

"I knew Alex James"
Twins et al: "Who?"

I knew Alex James:

http://www.bremen4u.de/cityguide/sport_wellness/fussball/serie/zeigler/_px/2006/mai1/bild248.jpg

http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2004/finale/interactive/gallery.fraiser/1frasier.crane.jpg
NV, again you're bringing in a high cultural reference. In actuality, the best response to someone eating the eggs would be to fly into a mock-rage, eloquently but noisily decrying the gluttony of modern man or whatever, but then defusing it with a sly acknowledgement of the watching cameras, or better still storming off with a wink.

pete was a pretty good counter-balance for last year, he easily seemed the sanest of the lot (until he hitched up with nikki, that is)

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y161/MarkGrout/AlexJames.jpg

Alex is at the back, James you can see. You know the other two.

OH NO THEY IS STEALIN MY COKE

lindsaylohan.jpg

> Has a 'wee cowrin' timorous beastie' ever won BB?

cameron?

Whatever happened to Hoover-crazy Steph whom Cameron never married?

The girlies are in the pool. Okay, the twins are attractive on a very obvious, superficial level, but it still counts. The head says no but the cock says yes.

one of them reminds me of Lauren Laverne just a teensy bit.

The twins look like idiot versions of Lauren Laverne.

-- ailsa, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 22:19 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

i can has indie?

I imagine the twins are only in there so they can be split up and deprived of each other's company as early as possible

I'm watching last night's program on E4, and at the moment it looks like a polite teenager's birthday party, complete with parents hanging around at the back, keeping an eye on things.

I don't understand why people boo people going in.

she is our knebworth

The twins are hilarious. Everyone else is in the living room chatting, and they are preening themselves under the hairdryers in their bikinis. They should be called Bambi and Thumper.

It'll be interesting how one twin will cope when the other is voted out. In any event, both are most likely to appear on future covers of Nuts magazine wearing 'hand-bras'.

OK, now Where's Grimly?

*waves*

i was watching "the apprentice", in a farmhouse in arran. (it was pish.) then i watched "you're fired". then i had a cup of tea and read some of "voyage to the end of the room" by tibor fischer (readably disappointing; like douglas adams-lite, which does neither TF nor the ghost of DA any favours).

mrs fiendish flicked over to BBBM for 30 seconds and said she almost lost the will to live. i had a look at the "meet the contestants" thread today in my father-in-law's d***y e*p**s* [1] and decided that my decision to avoid this fucking thing like the plague was one of the best i'd ever made.

the only thing i can say i vaguely missed was the JOY OF LIVE ILX PISS-TAKING. but there ain't no wifi here anyway, so too bad. catching up with this thread now has confirmed some of my worst fears, ie i might well have popped some kind of important vein in my forehead had i watched this.

even "big louis" or whatever we'd call it would be marginally preferable. although i can't stress the "marginally" bit enough ;)

Emily has younger twin sisters. They are 'paris hiltonlike'.

GOSH, DO WE THINK THEY MIGHT COME INTO THE HOUSE TOO?

[footnote 1] i know, i know. i think he still holds on to the faint hope that it might one day become faintly readable again.

"THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE"

I knew this would be the stand out phrase on this thread as soon as she said it.

I like the mad pink twins, but I'm sure their screeching will get to me after a while.

Gender of winner odds:
Male 8 - 11
Female evens
Transexual 18 - 1

"Well we'll just have to face it. There's no ramekins."

Lesley ftw :)

just watched the launch show and am shaken shitless

nicky was OK until calum best

emily was almost OK but is not OK

alba was funny so far again

hating the oven in bedroom fridge in garden EAT WET COLD DRY pish

nicky was OK until calum best

I can't parse this sentence.

just tried to watch big brother's big mouth but chris moyles

why because intrsting?

don't know what that means

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y148/Juror8/poster8224459.jpg

OK, the Barbie Twins are studying to be social workers.

dom has won the day

"that's my bed in the corner - the production team told me earlier"

WTF?

Laura's response when she reiterated it: "oh, i don't think anyone told you that, love"

Shabnam is new Worst Housemate Ever! Also Charley.

Oh God "we'd like to make a request for..."

"PENISES!"

"that's my bed in the corner - the production team told me earlier"

who?

leslie - the old woman.

ah, yes, she is old

old for BB.

amazingly i rather like some of them.

Carol is pretty great, Nikki seems nice, if well connected. i like the old raver chick and also welsh laura.

just watched two vids at random on the C4 site:

1) lesley being a bit awkward when laura, chanelle and nicky are talking about breasts

2) lesley being a bit awkward when practising breakdancing

wonder if this is the direction it'll take

more old leslie:

"i'm not that stupid, i know amy winehouse but i couldn't tell arctic monkey from franz ferdinand or whatever"

I like Tracey & Carole and possibly think Chanelle may be the least bad of the "bimbo" ones (bear in mind I liked Nikki at this stage last year so am evidently not to be trusted). Laura has grown on me somewhat since last night, but she kind of needs to stop talking sometimes. Mind you, if she drowns out the insane babbling of Shabnam, it can only be a good thing.

btw, translation for accentmonkey: "Nicky seemed OK then she said if she had to shag any celebrity it would be Calum (son of George) Best"

Chanelle said she wanted to be a WAG, so I revise my right to reverse my opinion of her not being as bad as the other blondies (Charley is honorary blondie for this purpose, OK)

I think Lesley should get indiequeen Emily to explain Franz Ferdinand and the Arctic Monkeys to her.

is lily allen indie?

I have to give up BB and this thread. GF speaks (horribly hypocritical) truth!

what did he say?

Okay this was the first time I watched properly:

The Twins - Seem sweet enough if fucking shrill and hyperactive. They could be lovely once they settle down. If they settle down.

Lesley - Will be a cantankerous nightmare, that line about having to get her own way was foreshadowing.

Carole - I think she is used to hanging around with The Kids, so is a stayer.

Charley - This year's WORST HOUSEMATE EVER.

Emily - Hasn't said much but you can tell she's appalling.

Laura - Hooray! We liked her.

Nicky - Was she the Mother Theresa orphanage one? Dunno, seemed alright.

Chanelle - Has that 'nasty sidekick to evil bullying ringleader' kind of vibe to her.

Shabnan - Is going to be terrible, you can tell, but has had very little camera time thus far.

Tracey - Die.

The Bloke Who Goes In On Friday - Had better be a creepy old man or a new Eugene or else.

which one is the farmer-witch pink-hair lass again?

she's clearly trouble

as opposed to most of the others who are clearly just very very irritating

"I got a distinction in my music exam."
"Distinction? Is that bad? It sounds like disgusting."

Been out tonight; my friend told me she's met Carole and she's utterly bonkers but very nice. So there you go.

Carole is (allegedly) utterly bonkers but very nice that is - my friend is just very nice.

she supports Respect thou, that makes me kinda queasy about her. does she ever call people comrades? i'm not keen on people who call you comrade. i couldn't watch more than a few minutes last night, it seemed over balanced and embarassing.

> but i couldn't tell arctic monkey from franz ferdinand or whatever"

didn't she call them Franks Ferdinand?

i only caught 5 minutes having decided to watch Imagine instead. was about surrealism and was good. i has a culture.

i did enjoy watching the twins bouncing around the sofas at 3am though. social workers.

i'm not keen on people who call you comrade.

Happens all the time does it?

[LJ on Davina:] "so rather than being the kind of lady we want to screw, she's the kind of lady we want looking after our kids"

Confused? You will be...

-- Tom D., Thursday, May 31, 2007 9:18 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

still roffling at this

just watched the launch show and am shaken shitless

[...]

-- RJG, Thursday, May 31, 2007 6:42 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

why?

Happens all the time does it?

-- Tom D., Friday, 1 June 2007 09:56 (18 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

if you dawdle too long by SWP stalls, yes.

shaun wright-phillips lol

No-one's ever called me comrade :(

is there an eviction tonight? or is it just the new guy entrance?

Win odds:

Laura 15/8
Carole 3
Nicky 8
Tracey 8
Amanda 14
Chanelle 14
Emily 14
Sam 14
Shabnam 18
Lesley 20
Charley 28

new guy to be gay, ugly, or louis jagger.

Are they all mutually exclusive?

Yes, shaun wright-phillips is often looking to recruit impressionable young folks for his much delayed proletarian revolution. It’s a pain. He’s always hanging about, suckering you in with his “Stop the War” platitudes and then trying to get you to pledge support for Hamas. It’s getting a nuisance. He has a stall outside my house. I can only go out when I know he’s playing football.

xp

carole said "I am gonna shake it summink rotten and...they will be shaken shitless"

as far as i'm aware, it's possible to be gay and ugly, but but the odds are very much against.

if the new guy is gay, no offence, but it will actually make things worse. i think ugly would be much more entertaining.

Bring back Kitten.

it's possible to be gay and ugly, but but the odds are very much against.

Wha?

She's probably in here: lolcat library
xpost

I liked Kitten! The manner in which she and Victor grew into a state of mutual respect (the one a hardcore feminist, the other a rampant misogynist) was one of the few genuinely heartwarming things ever to have happened on the show.

Tom, I was jesting at Onimo's zing, but srsly, how many ugly gay guys do you know? I'm willing to bet not many.

<countdown to picture of LJ in drag>

http://www.bbc.co.uk/icanimages/images/russellgrant170.jpg

Tom, I was jesting at Onimo's zing, but srsly, how many ugly gay guys do you know? I'm willing to bet not many.

Come to a FAP some time! *joke*

Susan Stranks - what a great name that was

And what a wrong thread this was to post that in

didn't she call them Franks Ferdinand?

It sounded like France Ferdinand, but I figured she was pronouncing the z in Franz the German way (Frantz). She'd have heard of the bloke before, surely, if not the band.

Tom, I was jesting at Onimo's zing, but srsly, how many ugly gay guys do you know? I'm willing to bet not many.

is this the kind of thing all the Louis Jagger hype is about?

oh god someone is about to repost one of my genuinely outrageous moments, PLEASE DON'T DO IT PLEASE :-(

PROTESTETH TOO MUCH

also, if you want to refer to me by name, PLEASE USE TEH G00GL3PR00F1NG T3CHN0L0GY

to stop ugly gay guys from finding you?

Angry at your refusal to acknowledge their existence?

come on, have you ever seen a gay guy angry, ugly or not?

http://graphics.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/siredwardheath2.jpg

xpost: yes!

Anyway, BACK ON BIG CUNTING BROTHER:

Heavy speculation the twins are being treated as a single contestant.

But it'd cause them loads more psychological damage and anguish if they were split up, so surely that's what will happen?

Yes, but could they make any worse noise?

why do they want incest vibe?

Because they can't get away with paeodphilia vibe?

They are both at Manchester Metropolitan studying Social Care. When asked last night what they wanted to do with their degrees, they replied "become fashion designers".

Emily is a drama student who wants to edit a fashion mag. I wonder if any of them listed "vocational" as a favourite word.

I think Emily's dad works on our site.

A building site?

camp site?

Chanelle: "my theory is, if there weren't any trees, there wouldn't be any wind".

is that her real name?

there wouldn't be much of anything else either.

xp

OK, WTF, Charley (!) and Shabnam (!) attack the others for being shallow (http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/bigbrother8/a58664/shallow-housemates-come-under-attack.html).

Shabnam also has the worst makeup I have seen since Scary Mary Witchy Woman from whatever year that was.

I think Charley may actually be Kieran Richardson instead of a cousin.

Kieran Richardson is prettier

Shabnam also has the worst makeup I have seen since Scary Mary Witchy Woman from whatever year that was.

because of her name and her make up I have mentally catalogued her as a cross between Scary Mary and Shahbaz.

i haven't time to read all 400 post behind the cut, but i assume the theory that they are, in fact, all trannies has already been discussed?

Ha, shit, I am looking at E4 right now and thinking "OMG, they all totally ARE/WERE men!", thanks Steve.

a lot of them do look mannish facially but a fair few have pins on 'em, lady-style.

Charley certainly has

i think i win at getting the trannie word in a prediction:

twist is that 5 of them are actually trannies, amirite?

-- Alan, Wednesday, May 30, 2007 10:41 PM

haha, i lied, i did have enough time to read it all, oh wells, who wants to do work anyways...

Moyles was at pains to refute anyone saying anyone was a trannie, even in jest.

Someone's got a good lawyer! (from years past!)

why oh why is it fucking chris moyles? i'm on the verge of saying EVEN ALEX ZANE WOULD BE PREFERABLE.

it's weird is Russ B too big, ie too expensive, for BBBM now? everything he's done on TV since has flopped, i liked him on BBBM a lot.

i thought Moyles was temporary, like they were just going to have a series of guest BBBM hosts. can't remember where i got the idea from, though.

also, the audio version of dom's indie post way upthread: http://www.popjustice.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1181&Itemid=265

i also think they are having a series of BBBM guest hosts this year. i think RB is doing a film isn't he?

He's doing the film version of St Trinians in the George Cole role. Yeah, I despair as well.

he's in a film w steve carrell too tho? he's shit in every context i've seen him in other than bbbm.

George Galloway is taking over from Chris Moyles.

I heard Peaches Geldof was lined up as well.

This is almost enough to reflect well on the people in the house.

he's shit in every context i've seen him in other than bbbm.

That thing where he took the piss out of the Junior 8NP guy was good.

I was just trying to remember if that was him or just someone who looked like him! Was that his first show on telly? I remember watching that one and the one where he went to gay bars in Soho trying to find someone to wank off.

Re:Brand was after his spell as an MTV VJ wasn't he?

Actor:

* In Production
* 2000s

1. Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008) (filming) .... Aldous Snow
2. St. Trinian's (2007) (post-production) .... Flash Harry

3. The Abbey (2007) (TV) .... Terry
4. Penelope (2006)
5. ShockWaves NME Awards (2006) (TV) .... Presenter
6. "Blessed" .... Tommy (1 episode, 2005)
- Who Wrote the Book of Love? (The Undertones) (2005) TV Episode .... Tommy
7. A Bear's Christmas Tail (2004) (TV) .... Mr. Wolf
8. Cruise of the Gods (2002) (TV) .... Woolly Hat Fan
9. White Teeth (2002) (TV) .... Merlin
10. A Brief History of Cuba in D Minor (2001) (voice)

Writer:

1. "Got Issues" (2 episodes, 2006)
... aka Russell Brand's Got Issues (UK: complete title)
- Is Sex Fucking Us Up? (2006) TV Episode (written by)
- Yobs: Is It Time to Fight Back? (2006) TV Episode

Self:

1. Comic Relief 2007: The Big One (2007) (TV) .... Himself - Host
2. Brit Awards 2007 (2007) (TV) .... Himself
3. "Breakfast" .... Himself (1 episode, 2007)
- Episode dated 31 January 2007 (2007) TV Episode .... Himself
4. "Big Brother's Efourum" .... Presenter / ... (65 episodes, 2004-2007)
... aka Big Brother's Big Mouth (UK: new title)
- Episode dated 28 January 2007 (2007) TV Episode .... Presenter
- Episode #5.6 (2007) TV Episode .... Himself - Presenter
- Episode #4.15 (2006) TV Episode .... Presenter
- Episode #4.2 (2006) TV Episode .... Presenter
- Episode #4.1 (2006) TV Episode .... Presenter
(60 more)
5. Comic Relief Does Little Britain: Live (2007) (V) .... Himself
6. The Big Fat Quiz of the Year (2006) (TV) .... Contestant
7. "The Russell Brand Show" .... Himself - Host (1 episode, 2006)
- Episode #1.5 (2006) TV Episode .... Himself - Host
8. The British Comedy Awards 2006 Live (2006) (TV) .... Himself
9. The Secret Policeman's Ball: The Ball in the Hall (2006) (TV) .... Himself
10. The Secret Policeman's Ball (2006) (TV) .... Himself
... aka The Secret Policeman's Ball 2006 (Australia)
11. "Got Issues" .... Himself - Presenter (6 episodes, 2006)
... aka Russell Brand's Got Issues (UK: complete title)
- Does True Love Exist? (2006) TV Episode .... Himself - Presenter
- The Nature of Celebrity (2006) TV Episode .... Himself - Presenter
- The Paranormal (2006) TV Episode .... Himself - Presenter
- Is Sex Fucking Us Up? (2006) TV Episode .... Himself - Presenter
- Yobs: Is It Time to Fight Back? (2006) TV Episode .... Himself - Presenter
(1 more)
12. "Friday Night with Jonathan Ross" .... Himself (1 episode, 2006)
- Episode #10.7 (2006) TV Episode .... Himself
13. "1 Leicester Square" (2006) TV Series .... Host (unknown episodes)
14. "Richard & Judy" .... Himself (1 episode, 2006)
- Episode dated 27 January 2006 (2006) TV Episode .... Himself
15. "Kings of Comedy" (2004) TV Series .... Presenter

He was in Blessed? And Cruise of the Gods? And White Teeth? Why don't I remember any of this?

his stand up, from what i've seen, seems ok in an undemanding way.

Ahh, the summer of 2005..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3AtKKg98vM

brand's catchphrases on bbbm were v annoying and offputting but he was a good host really. not a good comedian. the 8NP thing was a bit...easy. he isn't v flash is he? re: flash harry

think moyles has it for the whole first week? wonder what galloway will say re: carole

i didn't know there was another newcastle. bb is totally edumucatoinal

Newcastle under Lyme?

yeah, that one.

apparently the daily record didn't either, so i'm in good company.

no you are not

am too. they gave out vouchers for free subway sandwiches.

(I only know it exists cos I grew up in Staffordshire.)

potter !

mrs fiendish is watching this. i'm sulking in the kitchen.

Ah, this is Kieran Richardson's cuz.

-- Dom Passantino, Wednesday, May 30, 2007 8:29 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

If she survives to, say, Week 3, expect a lot of crying.

-- Dom Passantino, Wednesday, May 30, 2007 8:32 PM (Yesterday)

Nice call.

Although it's only day 2

So far I like Carole and Laura. And I hate Lesley, Shabnam, and Charley. Everyone else could go either way right now.

I don't mean "hate", really. Just dislike.

charley cried on day one, when she got booed going in. elephantine ego in wafer-thin skin shock.

Jesus, the instant they were gone into the diary room to collect their trophies she just went "silly bitches". Fuck's sake, she's pretty unpleasant already.

Aye, and moaned about how she should have been on their team. Ugh, ungracious, selfish, self-obsessed and completely and totally hateful.

CHARLEY MUST GO!!!! ^ 10000000000

In the bit I just watched Lesley was lying to Emily that she's 72 and her husband fought in D-Day. Emily is too thick to realise that even if Lesley were 72, she would've been 9 in 1944.

Yeah, that was when I turned over from the football to see what was happening.

I mean, it is actually possible that someone who was 9 in 1944 could have married someone a bit older than them who actually did fight then, but the whole "what year were you born in" "I told you how old I am, work it out" "but I don't know when your birthday is" conversation = Emily must go (after Charley).

I'm not sure if Emily's faults are ones of character or just her age and upbringing. She could possibly get nicer as the programme goes on. There is no hope for Charley.

just watched most of koogy's imagine surrealism programme which may as well have been presented by chris moyles

btw, the diary room chair is all kinds of awful.

koogy is alan yentob???

it's going to be some mad woman hater.

Ziggy OMG!

(he's that dude that Digital Spy unearthed earlier, isn't he? Shagged several z-list celebs)

shell of a man

Damn, I wanted it to be a 25 year old virgin, or a bishop or something.

his proudest moment was the billboard or j lo's bbq?

http://www.bigbrotherwebsite.net/news.php?subaction=showfull&id=1180769313&archive=&start_from=&ucat=2&

Aye, that is what I was on about. I read this earlier tday.

this guy is really relishing being the only man in there but its going to totally backfire isnt it?

or maybe theyre all just going to be clawing each others eyes out to win his affections. in which case it will er, forwardfire.

looks like its going to be better* than i thought this year.

*more annoying

he wasn't quite as bad as his VT made him seem. carole is really rather nice, isn't she?

Aw, bless Carole being all sensible and explaining where the toilets are and stuff while the rest of them all preen.

I predict I will be calling for Charley-centric nuclear holocaust within about three seconds of watching her trying and failing to pull Ziggy.

xxposts

My god they've sent Fabio into the house. I predict he'll have got a bit rapey by next Wednesday.

Quite funny that Ziggy BlandDust chose Carole as his guide to the house at the end there - I guess he wants to bide his time and observe before picking out which of the hotties to favour.

I reckon Lesley and Tracey face off in the public vote. Unless one of them's walked by then, which looks quite possible. In which case Charley FTL.

beefcake!

if you unfocus your eyes, you can kind of see a bit of christian bale.

Politically, she considers herself to be right wing and will be voting Conservative in the next election. She says she has no time for benefit cheats, and believes everyone has a right to education, to make money and to keep it.

She’s a big Blondie fan, and her current favourite music includes Lily Allen, and new rave acts like CSS and the Klaxons. Her motto is “Live life to the fullest, like it’s your last. Enjoy what’s around you and what’s given to you”.

"Live life to the fullest, like it’s your last."

she is a BUDDHIST

I saw a bit of Christian Bale too. He's fit!

I like Charley because none of the other girls seem likely to instigate any drama. Sort of like Laura was saying, how I can't picture the girls having fights...well, I can picture fights but only with Charley somehow involved.

I saw a bit of Christian Bale too.

I saw a bit of Jonathon Morris (Adrian the fey writer one from Carla Lane's Bread).

I missed his VT on the repeat this morning but he seems okay so far.

He is proud of his boyband days and enjoyed writing their hits

What boy band was he in then?

something called Northern Line.

I remember them.

http://www.ukmix.org/images/reviews/2000/s_northernline.gif

Wiki says they scaled the dizzy heights of 15th in the UK chart with "Love on the Northern Line" and Ziggy's name is Zak Lichman.

He dated, or is dating, Suzanne Shaw from Hear'Say.

How many Celebs that have appeared on CBB can boast such a CV?

He doesn't seem like a bad guy. Though I seriously reckon he was GAMING them all when he spent so long speaking to Carole.

He strikes me as one of those people who make an attempt to give everyone their absolute undivided attention. All that "really? uh huh. yeah. yeah" as if he is completely rapt when he is probably thinking which one of them to sleaze on first.

yr right about the rapt attention thing.

this guy is really relishing being the only man in there

That's what he said. He actually looked slightly terrified. Admittedly I've only seen ten minutes of the guy.

How many Celebs that have appeared on CBB can boast such a CV?

this is exactly what i said when i read about him in the paper today (i still haven't seen so much as a nanosecond of this, and i carry that with all the pride of a fusty high-court judge): surely some chumpazoid who used to be in a boyband etc etc would be a fucking shoo-in for CBB? ach.

anyway. this thread is fun. tick tick vg keep it up.

I liked chanelle's "a small career"

he is not 26 and does not have any lips

There's nothing special about being 26.

I'd happily give it another go.

what about the lips?

Ziggy sounds exactly like Cliff Richard when he talks

I would love to be 26 again! Great year. Was on the dole for most of it after being made redundant so I had some money to spend whilst slacking. Had my birthday in NYC. Met Mrs Poo. Might possibly be best year ever.

Haven't watched BB at all today, I guess I didn't miss much going on lack of thread action, but that could be due to ILX0rs having more lives than me.

Haha, "Mrs Poo"

I'm being oddly nostalgic for being 26. It was a pretty good year, all told.

I haven't seen any BB today, but will be rectifying that in a couple of minutes when it starts back on E4 again.

26 was an awesome age. I was finally over early 20s existentialism crisis and just ready to have fun.

Mrs Poo is responsible for me being called Colonel Poo in the first place so she gets what she deserves :P

OK, Charley, STFU.

She has just talked for about five minutes without saying anything at all (she appears to be trying to elicit the opinions of others about what they think of her. no-one appears to be arsed at all about her bleating)

: (

"so, like, I'm saying, like, I just want to know, like, what you think of me, like, right? Because, right, I want to know, what you think, like, right? I'm not, like, going to change, right, but I just want to know, like? Right?" etc etc

(ha, Chanelle is telling her that she's quite rude and self-centred. She's not liking it much, or, unsurprisingly, shutting up enough to actually listen)

Bah, crying Charley being comforted by Shabnam, Ziggy walks in, Shabnam explains to him that her and Charley are the most real people in the house and he should be their friend not the rest of them or somesuch then E4 cuts to adverts, bah. That must be the lolz they're keeping for the highlights show.

(Ziggy non too impressed, btw)

And we're back. Charley has now decided that it's just because everyone's jealous of her.

The temptation to lean close to Charley and hiss "Worst...Sex-change...Ever" in her face would've got to me by now.

OK, Charley, STFU.

Yeah, I saw all that. Jesus what a pain in the arse. Being all confrontational then retreating to the bedroom to turn on the tears "I just miss my family".

lookatmeattentionwhore.jpg

btw, people "I'm like a strong princess with my strong hair" (or similar). This, ladies and gentlemen, is Shabnam's assessment of herself.

She is rapidly becoming the Craig Coates to Charley's Anthony Hutton. Though I feel she has pretty much backed the wrong horse.

He strikes me as one of those people who make an attempt to give everyone their absolute undivided attention. All that "really? uh huh. yeah. yeah" as if he is completely rapt when he is probably thinking which one of them to sleaze on first.

-- Ronan, Saturday, June 2, 2007 11:52 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

"active listening"

Incidentally, does this mean we can have an all-female Trig Brother this year? Until the second pub when we drop, say, Pete, in there and they all fall over themselves trying to have sex with him?

In the bit I just watched Lesley was lying to Emily that she's 72 and her husband fought in D-Day. Emily is too thick to realise that even if Lesley were 72, she would've been 9 in 1944.

According to this, Lesley's husband is 23 years her senior, which makes him 83, so old enough to have fought in the D-Day landings. (note that I'm not saying Emily's not thick)

The closer the camera is to Ziggy's face the more he looks like Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman. I half expect him to go 'psycho' with an axe and a nail gun sometime soon.

he gave a very bateman-esque expression when walking into the house. I think it was when he was stood in front of the large video screen of himself. If so, it would make a great screengrab.

So was there now BB recap show last night? Are sunday's shows just the whole weekend?

the saturday show was always shit cos the friday show covered the whole of friday, kind of thing.

The tabloids have really outdone themselves today.

'But Imogen was also stunned at how controlled the usually flamboyant celeb was in the sack. "He's not like he is on TV. He's much calmer and never mentioned his dinkle once."'

"my typical day would be I wake up in the morning and I'd walk my dog molly maybe go to the gym and then I would get myself ready for the evening"

Stupid cunty wannabe football slapper has been getting advice from stupid once was football slapper on life in the BB house.

http://www.dailystar.co.uk/news_detail.html?sku=1801

You'd think Dani'd be somewhere around the top 5 of 'last people on earth you'd ask for BB advice'

It's girls a-Lloyd omg get new punster

SUNDAY IS THE NEW SUNDAY

EMILY HAD SKINNY JEANS 3 1/2 YEARS AGO

SATURDAY!

suck up each other's arses is back!

THERE'S A NEW MUSIC TAKING OVER THE COUNTRY AND IT'S CALLED INDIE

Ziggy's a prat.

i don't hate ziggy at the moment.

What does indie sound like? I don't want to miss out on the zeitgeist.

the kooks.

klaxons. css. nu-rave for a nu-generation. 'ave it!

I missed tonight's episode by being in the pub. I'm hoping nothing happened.

I think I should be applauded for 'zeitgeist' - just for the spelling.

I should twitter on here some more as there's an omg racial thread bubbling under.

it is still on.

he has a similar demeanour to gordon ramsay, though less distracted (i.e. 'fake rapt')

i don't hate ziggy at the moment.

Oh, me neither particularly, he's not a cock or anything. He is a prat though. Nicky continues to seem like a genuinely nice, well brought-up person.

MRS FIENDISH HAS JUST FLICKED OVER TO THIS ON E4.

ZIGGY IS KISSING SOME WELSH GIRL IN A PLATONIC MANNER.

THEY APPEAR TO BE ON A "DINNER DATE".

this is vvv dull. and the cheese looks rank.

nb: i'm not watching it. i'm merely observing.

mrs fiendish says ziggy looks like "the bloke out of bread".

he's less of a git than i'd have expected.

im feeling a bit sorry for ziggy. he keeps trying to show hes totally okay with it and happy being with so many lovely looking girls but i think hes shitting himself.

mrs fiendish says ziggy looks like "the bloke out of bread".

I said that earlier in the thread somewhere, though I'm kind of coming round to the American Psycho consensus.

I can't remember posting all that crap I posted a couple of hours ago.

I'm starting to pine for 26, as I'm rapidly approaching 36 ;_;

I read my mate's paper in the pub and it said Charley was claiming to be mature and said something like "I'm a year and a bit older than most of these girls!" I wish I was young enough to still count fractions of years.

THERE'S A NEW MUSIC THAT'S TAKING OVER THE INDIE AND IT'S CALLED COUNTRY
http://www.bugmusic.com/media/images/ryan_adams.jpg

Last night = Total Comedy Genius

Skinny Jeans
Charley - "Everybody's a bitch except me"
Billy No-Lips - "Please don't make me sleep next to Charley again"
Indie Posho taking Charley apart re. name-dropping
Lesley predictably wanting to break free (but she's still there last night on the live feeds)

I'm now heartbroken that Charley will be evicted come Friday cos she's a one-woman roffle machine.

'they behead women - thats why theres terrorists'
that was a good moment

just testing something

I like Emily! She's funny/odd. And she's managed to zing both Tracey and Charley, so far.

Tracy/Charley/Shabnam = Axis of TVs.

I predict Shabnam and Charley will be up for eviction and Shabnam will be booted out because she provides less hilarity (always keep the bitch in for the first few weeks, right?)

Alternative scenario: Leslie - because she wants to go home anyway - and Charley, in which case I don't know who would win.

Last night's On The Couch was hilarious. I'm glad they picked out Ch. running off to the bedroom to cry, being followed by her cronies, then standing on the bench to raise herself up as their leader. I also enjoyed watching Leslie making Charley and Shabnam (?) do the aggressive power walk.

And the skinny jeans/namedropping fite was priceless.

This year is turning out to be a good year. Grimly, you're making a mistake.

I'm enjoying it more than I have done in years. But I am also smoking a lot, so this might be connected.

meh.

Yeah, I am enjoying this year after not watching at all for the past three years (maybe that's why though). Do you know what, if you watch the online simulcast you get soothing music instead of adverts, it's great! However, I don't think I can take much more of Charley. Too awful even to be entertaining after a while. I can't begin to imagine what her game plan is except flashing the cameras regularly to avoid eviction, if not nomination.

I predict/hope that Ziggy will nominate Charley (out of naked terror) and Lesley (out of pity).

I'm pretty sure Charley doesn't have a "plan".

its a shame none of the younger women seem very smart. carole and the other middle aged woman seem a lot more intelligent than any of the others (except maybe nicky). that might just be age (and the fact i havent watched it that much) though.

Charley will be out on friday to massive boos, mark my words.

Has anyone mentioned head-tilt theory yet? Looks like the last three will be Lesley, Laura and Shabnam.

(And Amanda's out this Friday.)

Are the twins being treated as a single entity re: nominations etc?

Hello.

I like Shabnam.

Maybe it's because I like the dark-haired girl more, but hey.

When's nominations?

xpost no.

Has anyone mentioned head-tilt theory yet? Looks like the last three will be Lesley, Laura and Shabnam.

-- Madchen, Monday, 4 June 2007 13:28 (2 hours ago)

STRAIGHT HEAD WATCH SEZ:

Laura, Lesley, Sam and Shabnam are very straight indeed. Carole is at a quite od Chad angle, but strangely straight. Tracey and Emily are next, then Chanelle and Charley.

So, Amanda or Nicky to go first.

-- aldo, Wednesday, 30 May 2007 22:36 (4 days ago)

I have no idea what an "od Chad angle" is.

Sorry Al! (I have no idea what an "od Chad angle" is either.)

http://img504.imageshack.us/my.php?image=rgf2jsf02mky3.jpg

fu image shack!

http://i19.tinypic.com/4xwaijt.jpg

Haha, I thought of that too.

Tonight's was great - it's pretty obvious the producers were banking on the battle lines being drawn around each housemate's relationship to Ziggy and he might have actually circumnavigated that by picking a favourite straight away.

I'm sure I'll start to hate him later down the line, but right now Ziggy is really quite good at doing charming. He had every single one of them bar Nicky eating out of his hands. It'll be interesting to see how he copes once they start putting more blokes in there.

Also Lesley is a bit mental isn't she? Evert time Charley says anything you can see all this barely concealed rage building up behind that restraint. And she seems sort of confused that Carole can relate to the younger girls. Still, "I'm just snipping the mattress" wtf?

Chanelle's just gone batshit at Emily over not getting to use hair straighteners first on the live feed.